From Mudblood to Murder
by ginnyengagedtoharry
Summary: After Severus Snape called Lily Evans a mudblood everything changed. This story follows Lily, James, and Severus from that fateful afternoon until that night at Godric's Hollow
1. Chapter 1

Lily Evans turned away from Severus Snape, her first and best friend in the magical world, and walked back through the portrait whole. She could feel the tears burning in her emerald green eyes but she would not cry, not here at least, not now. She was so focused on not crying until she got out of the common room and into her dormitory that she walked right into the person she least wanted to see, besides Sev, James Potter. She had loathed Potter since the moment she had first laid eyes on him, on the Hogwarts Express during her first voyage to Hogwarts. He and his equally obnoxious best friend, Sirius Black, had mercilessly picked on Sev, and Lily being the loyal best friend that she was had intensely disliked Potter and Black ever since.

"Whoa, watch it Evans." James said as he placed a steadying hand on her shoulder, as Lily had lost her balance upon running into him. Lily attempted to shrug of his hand and proceed on her way to her nice, comfortable four poster bed, but James only tightened his grasp on her shoulder. Lily looked at James fully intending to give one of her infamous, angry, fiery stares but she was so startled by the look in James's own eyes that she completely forgot to look angry. She hated that look. It was the look he had been giving her since the very first day of classes their first year. He always looked hungry when he looked at her. She was, however, used to that look and that was not what startled her. Mixed with the expected look of hunger was a look of genuine concern for her. "Are you alright, Evans?" Her eyes began to burn again and quickly averted them from Potter's; she would not under any circumstances cry in front of Potter.

"I… I'm fine" and this time she yanked her arm away from his grasp and headed strait for the stairs leading up to her dormitory.

"Lily." She turned around purely from the shock of hearing him say her name. It had always been Evans.

"I'm fine…James." She turned and continued up the stairs to her dormitory and collapsed onto her four poster bed.

James Potter watched her retreating back all the way up the stairs until she turned the corner and was out of sight. He then turned to his group of 3 friends and said, "Here that I'm James now."

Sirius clapped him hard on the back in mock celebration and said in a sarcastic voice, "Congratulations Prongs, it's only taken her five years to learn your name."

"Shut it." James replied.

"I think its wonderful James," Peter said adoringly, earning him rolled eyes from all three boys.

Severus Snape marched away from the entrance to the Gryffindor common room and back towards his own common room in the dungeons. He was angry. Not at Lily but at himself. He had ruined his only true friendship. He had hurt the only girl he could ever love. He had with the use of one word forever broken his own heart.

Lily lay in bed for hours waiting for sleep to come, but it did not. She did not know why she should be surprised; she had seen the path Severus had chosen long before the previous afternoon. She had just chosen to ignore it. She couldn't face the pain of thinking the sweet, shy boy she had grown up with was a death eater in training. She should have seen it from the beginning; When he first cursed Petunia, when he became friends with Mulciber, McNair and Malfoy, and his use of the word on everyone else of her parentage, and then finally on she herself.

She got out of bed angrily. There was no use lying here dwelling on things she could not change. If she could not sleep, she would at least distract herself by studying for her O.W.Ls in the common room. She quietly snuck down to the common room careful not to wake any of her sleeping roommates. She was happy to see that the common room was deserted and headed over to her favorite spot, one of the three chairs in front of the dwindling fire. It was then she realized she was not after all alone. There was one other person in the common room, James Potter.

"Trouble sleeping Potter?"

"Dreams of you keeping me awake, Evans" She rolled her eyes. Why did he have to be so infuriating? She reached down and grabbed her history of magic book and began to review for her O.W.L.

"Stop it," she said after several minutes had passed.

"Stop what?" he said in mock innocence.

"Stop looking at me."

"Can't help it, you're too pretty." She again rolled her eyes. She would not let him get to her. She had found the best policy when Potter got fresh with her was simply to ignore him. "I'm sorry." She looked up from her book; James Potter never apologized for anything especially not for getting fresh with her.

"For what, Potter?" James sat quietly for a moment as if he were weighing every word with importance, as if unsure how to continue.

"I'm sorry that I… that I …I'm sorry about yesterday".

"Since when do you apologize for being an arrogant toerag?"

"Not for that, for what he said."

"That's not your sin to apologize for, James."

"I just hated seeing you hurt. No one should talk to you like that." She was now thoroughly uncomfortable not just by his words but he was giving her that look again. It occurred to her now that she had never been completely alone with Potter before.

"You're blushing, Evans"

"You're…You're… I am not." She rose and returned to her bed, but she still did not sleep. For the second time that day she found herself thinking of James Potter and of the way those brown eyes made her feel when he looked at her.

Snape was fuming. He would kill him. No, that would be too quick. He would torture him as he had tortured Snape, and then he would kill him. Potter he was nothing more than an arrogant, strutting, prince.

It had all started after the History of Magic O.W.L. He had gotten up his courage to go talk to Lily at lunch. He would make her see reason. He would make her see that he loved her, that she was the only one. He waited for her outside the Great Hall his heart pounding in his chest. Then there she was. She gave him a look that could turn anyone's blood to ice, but he had to try.

"Lily, please listen to me. I'm sorry, sorrier than you can imagine. I didn't mean it Lil, please." She looked at him for what seemed to Severus like years. He could see the wheels in her head turning, thinking of how to respond. His heart was light with hope, hope of forgiveness. Then he ruined everything.

"Everything alright, Evans?" Potter had appeared out of nowhere.

"Fuck off, Potter." Snape growled.

"Severus!" Snape backed away at the look of anger in her eyes. "I'm fine, Potter. I was just leaving to go back to the common room and study for runes".

"I was heading that way myself, could I come with you?" With that they headed off together for the common room, and Snape was left seething with rage.

How dare Potter, when he could have any girl in the entire school love him, and half of them did, the other half were to busy fawning over Potter's equally as bad best friend, Black, how dare he lay eyes on Lily. His Lily, she was the only one who had ever cared about him. Severus knew with absolute certainty that was why Potter had chosen Lily. Potter did not really care about Lily; he only wanted to hurt Severus. He would not allow Lily to love Potter, she couldn't. The pain would be too much to bear.

"Was the slimy git bothering you?" James asked as he and Lily entered the portrait whole.

"Don't call him that." Standing up for Sev was habit by now.

"How can you do that? How can you stand up for him after what he said about you?" It was the first time in 5 years Lily had ever seen James lose control. He was shaking with anger.

"He was my friend for a long time, I just don't want to hear you talk bad about him."

"I've never understood how you can be friends with someone like him."

"Someone like him", Lily's eyes flashed with anger, always a danger sign.

"He's a death eater wannabe! Surely, you can see that! Explain to me how someone as good as you are could ever be friends with him."

"I don't have to explain anything to you, Potter." She turned on her heels and walked towards the dormitory, if Potter was incapable of leaving her alone and letting her study, then she would just have to go where he could not follow.

"Damn it Evans! I'm sorry! I'm sorry that I cared."

Two days later Lily sat on the Hogwarts Express thinking about her and Potter's argument. She could not understand why it bothered her so much. She and Potter had fought hundreds of times, and never had it bothered her like this. How dare he try and act like he knew her. How dare he think he had the right to make judgments about the people in her life. How dare he think they were friends. Thinking of friends did not help her mood any. This was the first time she had not sat with Severus on the Hogwarts Express. She had many other friends in Gryffindor who had asked her to sit with them, but she had needed to be alone on this particular journey. She needed to feel the pain of the friendship she had lost.

"Evans?" She jumped as the sudden intrusion of Potter startled her from her thoughts.

"What, Potter?"

"I just…have a good summer Evans."

"Oh, um you too, Potter. Was that all you wanted?"

"No, I wanted to…Go out with me Evans?"

"Oh, Potter I was really hoping we could break a record and go an entire week without you asking me out." Lily said with a rye smile.

"Well, you know me, I love tradition." James said with a laugh. "Maybe, I'll see you this summer Evans?"

"You live on the other end of the country, Potter."

"See you around, Evans", he said with a wink and then he stepped out of the compartment, sliding the door closed behind him, leaving Lily unsure of whether to feel happy, annoyed, or angry at Potter's presumptions.


	2. Chapter 2

James Potter was staring at the two-way mirror allowing him to communicate with his best friend, Sirius, feeling annoyed that his best friend could not stop laughing at his request.

"Let me get this strait, you want me to write 'Dromeda and get her to give you Lily Evans address? What my dear Mr. Prongs could you want with this information? Are you going to stalk to lovely Evans in the muggle world as well now?"

"I do not stalk, Evans! And Mr. Padfoot I simply thought I might pay the lovely Evans a visit."

"Did it ever occur to you Prongs that if Evans wanted you visiting her, she would have supplied you with her address herself?"

"Padfoot, are you going to write Andromeda or not?"

"And miss hearing how you explain to Evans why you are standing on her doorstep? Of course I'll write to her Prongs."

"Good, now I need you to help me figure out what the bloody hell I'm going to wear."

"Oh no…Can't you get your mum to help you? She'd love to get her Jamesie ready for his big date."

"First of all, that's the very reason I'm not asking, and secondly its muggle clothes, my mum knows nothing about muggle clothes." The two continued their friendly banter until they arrived at the safe choice of a muggle t-shirt and jeans. After determining what James would wear on his surprise visit to Lily, Sirius went to send his letter to his cousin Andromeda, while James went to think over what he would say upon arriving at Evan's house.

Lily Evans stormed upstairs to her room. She had only been home a week and already she was counting down the hours until she could be back at school. It wasn't that she didn't love being home with her parents, it was just she hated being home with Petunia. It broke her heart how close she and her sister had once been, before she had been accepted into Hogwarts. Then everything had changed.

Lily inhaled a deep calming breath, trying for her parents' sake to not do or say anything she would regret. However, she could not block out the words she and her older sister had exchanged. It had all started when Lily arrived home. Petunia was two years older than Lily and was in her final year at school. As Lily found out as soon as she set foot in her home, Petunia had begun dating a boy at her school by the name of Vernon Dursley. Petunia then in painstaking detail had informed Lily that Vernon and his parents would be coming for dinner sometime in the following weeks and that Vernon had no idea about Lily's abnormality and she would not allow him to be subjected to it. Lily had assumed as much and was so used to her sister's harsh treatment of Lily's being a witch that she was hardly surprised by Petunia's feelings. It was soon decided that Vernon and his parents would come this evening. Lily shook with anger as she recollected the events of the past few hours.

Vernon and his parents had arrived promptly at 5 and Lily decided she did not like any of them at 5:05. Vernon, his parents, and his sister Marge were all exceedingly arrogant.

When Vernon first laid eyes on Lily his eyes had narrowed and he had said in a loud bark of a voice, "So, Petunia this is your sister? The one that goes to that school for people with special needs?" Petunia gave him such a look of adoration that it made Lily feel as if she were ill.

"Yes, she really shouldn't be allowed out but mother and father do miss her when she is gone." Lily wondered what supposed condition she had been diagnosed with. Whatever it was none of the Dursleys seemed to desire any contact with it for none of them greeted Lily with so much as a nod of the head. The evening had gone down hill since from there, Mr. and Mrs. Dursley treated Lily's parents with a cold indifference, only showing the slightest affection for Petunia. Vernon was exceedingly rude about everything. Yet, Petunia hung on every word he said and agreed steadfastly with all of it. However, the worst part of the evening came after the Dursleys had left. Lily's parents had in no uncertain terms informed Petunia of their dislike of Vernon and his entire family. Petunia had raged at her parents and while Lily tried to ignore the argument the best she could from the kitchen where she was cleaning up, she could still here every word. Lily's heart broke for her father as he tried to make his eldest daughter see reason, to no avail.

"Petunia, surely you can see that his whole outlook is negative." Mr. Evans had said.

"Daddy, I don't want to hear you say a word against him. He is more than accepting and so are his parents. I mean they've accepted me regardless of where I might come from."

"Petunia Evans! I will not have you speak of your family in that ungrateful tone!"

"Family! What family? This _family_ has been ruined since the day you allowed _her_ to become a freak!" Petunia screamed at the top of her lungs. Lily closed her eyes to keep the tears from coming. She hated that who she was caused her sister so much pain.

"Petunia that is enough! Do not talk about your sister that way. I heard what you had told that Dursley. How could you say those things about your own sister?"

"As far as I'm concerned, I don't have a sister." She had then turned on her heels and marched into the kitchen and screamed at Lily, "You are dead to me! It's your entire fault that mummy and daddy don't like Vernon. You have ruined everything! I never want to see you again!"

"Shut up! Its not my fault your boyfriend is an egotistical prat!"

"How dare you! How dare you speak about Vernon like that!"

"How dare me, me? How dare you! How dare you speak to our parents like that! I don't care what you think about me, but don't you dare treat mummy and daddy like that!" Mr. Evans stood in the kitchen door watching as his two beloved daughters tore each other apart. He attempted to step in but neither seemed to be able to hear anything but the others biting remarks. It was only when his wife entered the kitchen and screamed at both girls that they fell silent.

"Both of you stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! I've put up with this for five years and watched as you grew farther apart silently. I tried to convince myself that it was just normal for siblings your age to fight, but no more. I want you both in your rooms right now and I don't want you to come back down until you are ready to get along." As both her daughters stormed upstairs, she collapsed in grief, over the division in her family, into her husbands waiting arms.

When Lily awoke the next morning she was still seething with anger. She dressed silently in her room, hoping that neither her parents nor her sister would hear that she was awake. It was cold outside so she dressed in a simple green sweater and a pair of jeans and pulled her hair back in a loose pony tail. She then grabbed her favorite muggle book "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen and preceded to sneak downstairs and out the front door. She settled on the porch with a blanket and sunk into her book. Ever since she had first read "Pride and Prejudice" it had been able to relax her and allow her to let go of any of her troubles. However she soon threw the book down as another wave of anger washed over her. This anger however was aimed entirely at her mind rather than at anything to do with her sister.

"Stop it," she told herself, "Stop picturing Potter as Mr. Darcy!" When she read "Pride and Prejudice" she had always seen herself as Elizabeth, but Mr. Darcy had always been faceless. For him to now have the face of James Potter was exceedingly unsettling to Lily. "Potter is nothing like Darcy. Sure they are both arrogant and intelligent, but Darcy is sweet and romantic and, and a gentleman! Potter is no gentleman." She was so lost in her thoughts that as she jumped off the porch to retrieve her book she almost thought she saw James Potter walking up her driveway. However, when the imaginary Potter spoke to her she realized that James Potter was in fact walking up her drive way.

"Potter?" She could not keep the surprise out of her voice.

"Evans." He sounded confidant. It infuriated Lily.

"Potter, why are you here?" She demanded.

"I told you I'd see you around, Evans."

"See me around? See you around means you casually bump into me at a mutual destination. See you around does not mean you come to my house!"

"Well I didn't think there was much of a chance of just happening to run into you."

"Exactly." She noticed with satisfaction that he was shaking and she attributed it to her less than warm reception and his hitherto unseen nerves. However no more than a second after she had this satisfying realization, did she notice the real reason behind his shaking, Potter was only wearing a t-shirt. "Potter, where is your coat?"

"I didn't wear one. It was just a little cool at home and I didn't think about that you live farther up North." Lily realized that as much as she loathed the idea she could not allow Potter to catch his death out in the freezing morning air, and she therefore must allow him to come in.

"Why don't you come inside and warm up Potter."

"Inviting me inside huh Evans? I knew you'd come to see me as irresistible."

"Oh please, Potter. I would rather date the giant squid." She turned on her heel and marched into her house with him following close behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

Three pairs of eyes fixed on Lily and then immediately shifted to the mysterious figure behind her when she appeared in the doorway of her home.

"Great!" she thought, "Why Couldn't they all have been asleep?" Lily must have been contemplating this longer than she had thought because the next thing she knew her mother was calling to her.

"Lily, Lily dear, are you going to introduce your friend?"

"Her _friend_? As if _she _could have friends, besides freaks that is. This boy must just be looking for one of us. " James immediately knew he did not like this girl, whoever she was. Lily blushed but otherwise showed no sign of having heard the other girl.

"Mummy, Daddy this is my…friend, James Potter," then she paused and turned and looked directly at Petunia, "from school". The effect was instantaneous Petunia's mouth dropped in surprise and her mother and father both rose from their seats to welcome James and offer him some breakfast.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Evans, Mrs. Evans No thank you, I don't want to cause you any trouble." Lily, for her part, was anxious to escape Petunia's watchful glare even if it meant doing the unthinkable.

"Um…we'll just be um upstairs if you need us." With that she grabbed James' arm and pulled him upstairs to her room. As she closed the door behind her she found herself being pressed softly against the door, she had so recently closed. Potter was kissing her. While her brain screamed at her to push him away, she had to admit, little though she wanted to, that the soft, gentle way his lips brushed against hers was extremely satisfying. "No absolutely not!" She said to herself, "this is not just some stupid dream this is Potter, you are allowing to kiss you!" Regaining her senses she pushed Potter away from her.

"Potter! What the bloody hell do you think you were doing?"

"Kissing you, isn't that what you wanted?"

"Why would you think that?"

"Evans you practically drug me up to your bedroom, why else would you be so desperate to get away from your family and be alone with me."

"Potter if your ego would deflate itself for long enough to see reason, you would see that my coming up here had nothing to do with you. I was merely trying to get away from my sister."

"Oh…sorry Evans, I guess I misread your intentions."

"I guess it's a mistake anyone could make, not anyone I know, but anyone, I guess."

"So how come you and your sister don't get along."

"You would have to ask her that question."

"I'm asking you, Evans."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"I can't. I've never been able to talk about it with anyone except… Just never mind, it's not important."

"Is it Snape? Is Snape the one you can talk to?" Lily had never heard such hate pronounced in a word as when Potter spoke of Sev.

"Why do you even care!?" Lily said exasperatedly.

"I care about _you_, Evans." He said fervently.

"I never asked you too." It was then the door swung open and Lily turned to see her sister standing in her doorway.

"I've invited Vernon to spend the day. I would appreciate it if the house was freak free when he came. Of course mother and father will here nothing of the sort. Therefore, I have been sent to find out if the two freaks will be here the rest of the day until dinner or if you will both be leaving." She left no doubt as she spoke which answer she thought to be the appropriate one. Lily was seething with anger and had no idea where to begin telling her older sister off when she heard James begin to speak. He was looking directly at Lily, the pain evident in his eyes.

"I guess I should go. I'm sorry I bothered you, Lily. It won't happen again." Petunia's eyes began to gleam in the triumph of the moment, now if only she could get rid of her freak sister. James had begun to move towards the door when Lily spoke.

"James," he loved it when she said his name, "don't be silly. Of course you're staying for dinner." He turned to look at her and made his heart light with happiness. She really wanted him to stay!

"Of course I'll stay." Petunia swept out of the room angrily slamming the door shut behind her.

"Thank you, I don't deserve it." Lily said sincerely. "I'm sorry for being so harsh before." James was just beginning to reply when the last thing he would have expected happened. Lily began to cry.

"Um Lily?" He wasn't sure whether or not she would permit him to touch her after his idiotic kiss, but he had to try. After all she seemed really upset. James took a step forward and pulled her into his arms. She did not protest, she merely continued to cry. After Lily had collected herself to some degree she and James sat down on her floor. She knew she could no longer avoid telling him some of the personal details of her life. After all he had offered to leave, she had asked him to stay.

"I'm sorry," she said, "I can't even imagine what you must think."

"I don't think anything. You're still the same Evans I adore."

"And you're the same arrogant toadstool Potter."

"So, Evans, why don't you tell me what's going on. Clearly things aren't all wonderful on the Evans' home front."

"Nothing slips past you Potter, ever consider being an auror?" She replied sarcastically.

"The thoughts occurred to me. So lets here it Evans?"

"I don't want all the marauders to hear about this, Potter. Or anyone else for that matter."

"Lily, I wouldn't tell anyone anything you told me."

"Fine, well my sister, Petunia, hates me. I'm sure you gathered as much from what little you've seen of her. We used to be really close, but then I got my Hogwarts letter and everything changed. I think deep down she was jealous, but anyway she never forgave me for being different. My parents try and keep the peace. They love us both but I still can't help but feeling like the odd man out. My parents think it's the greatest thing that I'm a witch, but they still see me as a novelty, something to be admired, something to be watched over, not just a daughter. Petunia has never forgiven them for allowing me to go to Hogwarts; I guess she's jealous of all the attention I get when I'm home. The truth is I'm jealous of her. She gets to be their daughter, they have fights but they're too in awe to fight with me. So now, she's met this utter pig Vernon Dursley and he's absolutely horrible. My first impression upon meeting him and his family was that they were a muggle version of the Malfoys. My sister is determined that this boy is her one chance for salvation, she blames me that our parents don't like him."

"So that's whose coming to dinner tonight, this Vernon git?"

"That's right. That's why I needed you to stay, I couldn't deal with it by myself. Thank you again for staying."

"I'll always be here when you need me, Evans."

"I can't talk about this anymore. You're my guest, so what would you like to do Potter?" James looked around the room and spotted a stack of things in the far corner that he had no idea what they were.

"What are those?" He said pointing to the stack of mysterious objects. She began laughing as soon as she realized what he was pointing at.

"Those? Those are muggle board games." When he continued to look confused she continued, "You know, games children play?"

"Not really, could you teach me. I'm always up for something new." She could not believe that James Potter was asking her to teach him to play children's games.

"Oh alright, which one do you want to learn."

"All of them lets start with the one on top."

"Okay, well this one is called Memory. The object is to find the matching pairs of cards. If you find one you get to keep looking, if not then it's the next person's turn. The person who has the most pairs at the end wins. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, but why wouldn't we just summon the card we need?"

"Muggles can't just summon the card they need, Potter. And we're not allowed to magic outside of school."

"Oh that's right you wouldn't be would you?"

"What do you mean? You're not allowed to do magic outside of school either."

"In wizard families its up to the parents to keep their children from doing magic in the presence of muggles. The ministry can't tell who is performing the magic, only where it is being performed."

"Is that the way it is in all wizard families? I mean Severus has never mentioned…" His eyes had darkened at the mention of the name and she did not wish to make him angry again so she dropped the issue, "So are you ready to play?" Lily laid out all the cards and then instructed James to pick a card and try and find its match.

"What the bloody hell is this?"

"It's a fire truck."

"A fire what?"

"Truck, what the firemen use to get to a fire."

"What are firemen?" He looked so bemused by the childlike drawing of the fire truck; Lily could not help but laugh. "Hey! What's so funny?"

"I'm sorry Potter; I guess I just didn't think about that you would have no idea what some of the muggle things were. Muggles aren't able to put out fires by magic, so there's muggles called firemen whose job it is to put out fires. The drive around on the fire trucks which have these big tubes called hoses on them and the pump water on to the fire."

"The things muggles come up with to live without magic". Lily had never had so much fun in her life. James questioned every picture on every card and was not satisfied until Lily had thoroughly explained what each item was.

"Are you hungry?" Lily asked.

"A little bit."

"There's a pizza place up the road. If you want we could walk up there and after we eat I could show you some of the sights of the muggle world."

"That sounds great."

"Okay what are these contraptions?" James had never had so much fun being confused in his life. Lily and he had gotten a slice of pizza before heading to a place Lily referred to as "the play ground". He was now staring bewilderedly at something Lily referred to as swings.

"It's something muggle kids play on, here I'll show you." She sat down on the swing and began to swing, low at first, and then higher and higher. James thought she looked beautiful swinging up there with her hair flying around her. "Come on, Potter are you scared?"

"Scared, Evans? You wish!" He jumped on the swing next to her and soon he was soaring right next to her in the sky. Soon they were competing to see who could jump farther when dismounting the swings, laughing so hard they could barely stay balanced when they landed. Lily was still laughing when she noticed the smile had been wiped of James's face, he was staring over her shoulder at something. She turned around to see the angry face of her former best friend, Severus Snape, glaring past her at James.

"What is he doing here?" Severus spat out in anger.

"She could ask you the same question, Snape." James never took his eyes of Severus as he spoke.

"I don't remember asking you, Potter. You think you are so great, so perfect. Well you may be able to have every girl in the school fawn all over you, Potter. But you won't get Lily. I won't allow her to become one of your little fan girls."

"You won't allow me? _You_ won't allow _me_. How dare you! How dare you think for one bloody moment that you have any power over me." Lily screamed. James thought she looked beautiful when she was angry.

"Lily, please I didn't mean it like that. I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"I can take care of myself…Snivellus." She ignored the hurt look on Snape's face, he had chosen his path, and now she had chosen hers. "James please take me home." She turned away from Severus and began to walk towards her house with James immediately falling into step beside her. They did not talk on the way back to Lily's house, Lily was still fuming over what had just occurred, and James new better than to push his luck when she was angry.


	4. Chapter 4

James Potter treaded softly up the stairs to his bedroom, but instead of entering his own bedroom entered the one next door instead to find his best friend Sirius Black waiting for him.

"So are you living here for good now?" James asked his best friend as he sat on Sirius' bed in the guest bedroom.

"Yup, I got everything else I could manage to sneak out this morning and I put permanent sticking charms on all the posters and pictures in my room just to make sure my darling mother couldn't redecorate my room after today."

"Bloody brilliant mate"

"So tell me, Prongs, how was your rendezvous with the lovely Evans?"

"It was good, well a lot of bad stuff happened but it was good for me and Evans."

"What sort of bad stuff?"

"Her sister is a bloody cow. She's absolutely horrible to Lily, calls her all sorts of things, and her parents try their hardest but they really don't understand her at all. Oh and we saw Snivellus."

"Excellent! How was old Snivelly?"

"His usual slimy git self. But she chose me. He was getting his greasy hair in a knot going on about 'Potter this' and 'Potter that' but she was like c'mon James lets go back to my house. It was perfect. Oh I kissed her too but that didn't go over well."

"You kissed Evans?"

"Yeah well she pulled me up to her bedroom and I thought it was because she wanted to be alone so I kissed her but apparently she just wanted to get away from her stupid sister."

"Let me get this straight Prongs, you randomly show up at Evans' house without invitation and then you practically jump her when she invites you upstairs? I would have expected this from Wormtail but seriously Prongs you should know better."

"Since when have I ever thought clearly around Evans and please do not compare my skills with ladies to that of our dear friend Wormy."

"So what else happened? You owled your mum to say you were staying for dinner how'd that go?"

"That was interesting", James said as he thought back upon the dinner he had shared with Lily, her parents, her sister and her retched boyfriend, Dursley.

He and Lily had arrived back at her house to find that Petunia's boyfriend, Vernon Dursley, had already arrived. Petunia, Vernon and Mr. and Mrs. Evans were all in the sitting room enduring an awkward silence when Lily and James entered. James realized immediately why Lily did not like Dursley, he was loud, rude, and completely obnoxious.

"Petunia! You mean they let your sister outside. People could see her. You don't want people to know you have a sister like _that_." Both Mr. and Mrs. Evans looked as if they were about ready to speak, but Petunia cut them both off.

"You're quite right Vernon, I've been trying for years to distance myself from the disgrace that she is. That's why I think it's so wonderful of you to look past who she is, for me."

"Well, I could hardly blame you for wanting to get away from it all. Besides we all have our bad seeds that crop up from time to time. You just need to prune the infected parts of your family tree, keep the rest of the tree healthy." Petunia began to speak her agreement with Vernon's words when she was cut off by the newest arrival too the room, who until that moment had been silent.

"I think you're mistaken about the Evans' family tree. It seems clear to me that Lily is not the branch that's infecting the rest of the family with her negativity and close mindedness." James spoke with an even tone of voice but inside he was seething with anger at the way Lily was being spoken about in her own home.

"And who the bloody hell are _you_." Vernon demanded of James.

"James Potter. I'm a friend of Lily."

"Well that explains it then. Do you attend her freak school then?"

"Yes, I do, but the only freaks I see here are you and her," he said pointing at Petunia.

"How dare you!" shrieked Petunia, "How dare you come into my home and speak such horrible lies about me."

"It's Lily's house too and that hasn't stopped you from saying horrible things about her." James said fiercely. Mr. and Mrs. Evans sat watching in awe, no one had ever stood up to Petunia like that except for on the rare occasion, Lily. The Evans' had been at a loss for what to do with their eldest daughter's anger for some time, but it always seemed better just to let her have her say and be done with it. Now that they realized they had allowed Petunia too much control in their household, it was fear of pushing her away forever that kept them silent.

"Lily's house? This is not Lily's house. Lily barely lives here anymore. She's only here for 3 months out of the year; she hasn't even come home for Christmas the last 2 years. Good riddance. Everything is better when she's not here; we all get along fine without her. Mother and Father walk on eggshells when she's here because she doesn't belong. She never has, we're all just waiting for her to realize it!"

"Lily that's not true darling, we love you! Please come back!" Mrs. Evans called after her youngest daughter who had run from the room at her sister's words. James following closely behind her, as much as he wanted to curse Petunia into next week, Lily had to come first.

She had already closed and locked her door by the time he reached her second floor bedroom. He could hear her crying from within and knocked softly on the door. "Leave me alone!" She called from inside.

"You know I can't do that, Evans. Open the door, Lily, or I'll open it for you"

"You're not allowed. You can't do magic outside of school. Besides I'd get blamed for it, Potter." She wheeled around as she heard her door click open and saw him standing there. "Great, now I'll get expelled from school because you did magic in my house!" she exclaimed.

"Relax, Evans. I used a muggle bobby pin to open it."

"You did what? Where did you get a muggle bobby pin?"

"I never leave home without it. Sirius and I find that it comes in handy to be able to do things the muggle way from time to time."

"You marauders are full of surprises. But really Potter, just leave please. I want to be alone."

"I can't leave you alone. You're upset."

"I am not," she lied.

"C'mon Evans, don't lie to me. How could you not be upset? You have to know though that what she said isn't true. She's just jealous because of how special you are."

"What you call special she calls freak."

"She's the freak, Evans. Not you. You're worth 100 of her."

"My family doesn't seem to think so, I know they love me but I can see it in their faces. They wish I was normal."

"Being normal is overrated. It has to be, I mean I think we have it much better."

Lily smiled. She couldn't help it she didn't feel remotely happy, yet something about James sitting there comforting her, the best he could, made her smile. She hugged him, she didn't know what exactly made her do it, but she knew that had it not been for James Potter this day would have been far worse. He held for a long time in his arms until she pulled away.

"It's getting late. You've been here all day and really Potter I'm fine. I just need rest."

"Okay, I'll go but only if you promise to owl me if you need me. I'll be here right away."

"Okay, I promise." He turned to leave when she said, "Thank you, James."

"You're welcome Lily".

"Oh and Potter, if you mention this to anyone at school I'll curse you so hard you won't know what hit you."

"It'll be our secret. Night, Evans."

"Prongs? Prongs? You there? You spaced out on me."

"Oh sorry," James said snapping back to attention, "What were you saying?"

"I was asking how the dinner with Evans' family went."

"Oh um you know just typical family dinner stuff."

"But you just said it was interesting?"

"It was, you know to see where Evans' gets different things about her personality."

"Yeah, real interesting, the way you talked I thought maybe the cow of a sister had caused trouble."

"Nope, nothing like that." James hated lying to his best friend but he had promised Lily that he would not tell about what had occurred during the dinner, and he intended to keep his promise.

When James and Sirius headed down stairs late the following morning for breakfast they found Mrs. Potter alone in the kitchen. "Good morning boys, or should I say good afternoon, were you up late last night?"

"Yeah, you could say that" James answered his mother.

"Planning your latest prank?" She asked, attempting to sound strict but not succeeding. She and her husband had James late in life thus giving them some perspective into their son's misdeeds that younger parents might not have had. On the contrary Mrs. Potter had saved every letter home detailing her son's pranks because she believed it showed his above average magical skill, even if he did channel those skills into non-academic activities.

"Oh you know us Mrs. P. we wouldn't want to ruin the surprise." Sirius said with a smile. He genuinely loved the Potters and considered them his real family. Mrs. Potter laughed at this statement by her son's best friend. She enjoyed having Sirius in the house and her and her husband considered him a second son.

There happiness however was short lived by Mr. Potter arriving home for lunch with bad news. "Hello all, I'm afraid I'm going to put a damper on your day."

"What is it dear?" Mrs. Potter asked suddenly concerned.

"Yeah, what's going on?" James and Sirius said together.

"I'm afraid there have been more attacks. The Goldstein's house had the Dark Mark fired over it. The kids and Sharon weren't there, but Anthony wasn't as lucky. And I'm afraid it's only really beginning, our intelligence says more and more people are joining up with the Death Eaters and there's been more mysterious disappearances. It's all beginning to look very serious."

"I'm ashamed to say that all my family thinks it's marvelous." Sirius said his eyes dark with anger.

"Yes, well it speaks everything of them and nothing of you Sirius. Don't allow others to define you just because you may share the same last name."

"Thanks Mr. Potter."

"Do they have any idea why the Goldstein's were targeted dad?"

"No, only that Anthony had spoken out against them. That seems to be enough to provoke them now."

"It worries me how out in the open it's all become. It's like they no longer fear the ministry," said Mrs. Potter.

"Why would they? We haven't been able to do anything to stop them." Mr. Potter said bitterly.

James and Sirius looked at each other with understanding in their eyes. They both realized that things were getting worse and soon the time would come when everyone must take a side. They knew where they would stand; they also knew that the death rate for people choosing the right side was quickly rising. Yet, they knew that if their moment came to die for the cause they would, without hesitation, because they knew already at the age of 15 that some things really were worth sacrificing everything for.

"Fell limp and then dead. I love that rushing sound of death speeding towards them," Bellatrix cackled madly.

"Bella, you really are a nutcase aren't you?" said Lucius with a small smile.

"Some would say so; I prefer to think of myself as fearless. I wish we could have waited for the mudblood's wife and children to come home so we could have gotten them too."

"You will have your chance, Bella" hissed the high cold voice as the Voldemort entered the room.

"My Lord", said all three of the young people. Snape, who had yet to speak, was the youngest as he was just barely 16; Lucius was 21, and Bella 23. They all fell to their knees in his presence.

"Rise, so tell me were there any complications?" This hiss continued even though he had finished speaking.

"None, my Lord," answered Lucius quickly, "Goldstein is dead."

"Good. Severus, I believe it was your information that led to this turn events?"

"y…yes my Lord," Snape stammered nervously. This had been his first mission for the Dark Lord, though he had been anxious to join him for years.

"There is no need to be nervous, Severus. Lord Voldemort always rewards those who have been faithful to him."

"Yes, my Lord."

"Now, Lucius tells me it is your wish to become one of my faithful Death Eaters?"

"It would be an honor my Lord."

"Yes, an honor indeed, an honor I believe you have earned today."

"Thank you my Lord." Snape knelt and kissed his master's robes.

"Rise, Snape, and give me your left arm so that I may mark you as one of my own."

"Yes, my Lord, thank you master." Voldemort lifted his wand and placed it to Severus' left arm imprinting his mark upon him forever.


	5. Chapter 5

Lily awoke at the crack of dawn the following morning and dressed silently in her room. She then proceeded down to the kitchen, where she wrote a note telling her parents she intended to be gone all day and not to expect her for dinner. She counted out both her muggle and wizard money hoping that she would have enough of both to last the day.

She knew the way to the nearest subway station, but mentally kicked herself for never realizing that what seemed like a short car ride was in reality a very long walk. However, even if she had realized this it would not have changed anything. She had laid awake for most of the previous night reviewing yesterday's events and thinking of ways to make necessary changes to her life. This was the most sensible decision she had come up with and so even though she had only a few hours of sleep she woke before four in the morning and had set out on her long trek to the subway station.

She finally arrived at the muggle underground station at a little past six in the morning. She was quite cold, for while it was the middle of summer it was still quite cool in the early morning light.

"Excuse me," she said when it was her turn at the ticket box, "can you tell me when the next train leaves for London?"

"Seven, I have 4 tickets left."

"I'll take one please."

"4.50", Lily paid the money and set out for the platform where she boarded the muggle train and hoped with all her might she had made the right decision. She had never taken the underground by herself before and she was terrified that she would get lost either by getting off at the wrong stop or once she got to London. After what seemed like forever Lily heard the conductor calling out that London was the next stop.

Once the subway train stopped she hurried off as quickly as she could and found her way upstairs into downtown muggle London. She was intimidated; she'd be lying to herself if she tried to say she wasn't. She tried to remember the exact way she had come with her parents every year, but that was always by car and it was different. Yet, as scared as she was she knew she could not stand on the street corner all day. She had made her decision last night and she would stick to it. So she took a deep breath and started walking.

After a half-hour of walking she saw it. Her heart leapt, she had made it. She crossed the street and discreetly made her way into the Leaky Cauldron. There were only a few people there at this early hour. Some were eating their breakfast; others looked as if they were still partying from the night before. She found the restroom and changed into a pair of robes, it wouldn't do to go into Diagon Alley dressed as a muggle. She then proceeded out to the back of the pub and made her way into Diagon Alley.

For the most part the streets were fairly deserted although some wizards and witches were out doing what appeared to be morning shopping before heading on their way to work. Lily made her way around the various shops looking for anything that might point her in the right direction. "It would help if you knew what you were looking for, Lily," she told herself. She hated not knowing exactly where she was going and what she wanted to accomplish, yet she also knew she no longer had a choice.

Her first stop was Flourish and Blotts Bookstore. She had always liked the store; it had been oddly comforting to her on her very first visit to Diagon Alley as an eleven year old frightened, yet excited girl. Severus had always teased her about being comforted by a bookstore, but she found it oddly reassuring that no matter how many other things were changing so suddenly in her life a bookstore was still a bookstore.

"May I help you my dear?" said the wizard behind the counter.

"Yes, I was wondering if you were um hiring." Lily did not know why she was nervous. Lots of people asked for jobs, she had just never done it before.

"I'm sorry my dear but you have to be 17 to work here. However, my friends over at Quality Quidditch Supplies are hiring and you only have to be 16 to work there."

"Oh okay thank you." Lily left the store feeling dejected and turned towards the Quidditch store. "Just my luck," Lily thought, "I don't even like flying, I think quidditch is stupid for arrogant stupid jocks like Potter." The same voice that had made her keep walking when she first arrived in London spoke up saying, "Lily you don't have the option to be picky about this. Go get the stupid broom job." Lily took a deep breath and entered the store.

Lily saw that the clerk's back was turned and so she said "Excuse me, I was wondering about the job opening?"

"Lily?" it was only then that Lily realized it was her friend, Andromeda, who had graduated from Hogwarts three years previously. Andromeda had been like a big sister to Lily during her first few years at Hogwarts and Lily had served as a junior bridesmaid the three summers when Andromeda had married Ted Tonks. Lily had been the one to throw Andromeda a baby shower two years ago when Andromeda was pregnant with her daughter Nymphadora. The two friends still corresponded regularly but had not seen each other since the previous summer, as it was difficult for Lily to travel as she was not yet able to apparate.

" 'Dromeda!" The two friends embraced. "What are you doing here? I thought you were working at the Leaky Cauldron?"

"I was but I got tired of all the pissed wizards making passes at me. Besides I needed a job with less crazy hours now that Dora is getting older and I get too tired with those hours."

"Why, you love staying up late?"

"You can't tell anyone. Ted and I only just found out, but I'm pregnant again."

"Andromeda that's fantastic! I'm so happy for you!"

"I know! I'm so excited. I wish I could tell my mom but as far as she and my aunt are concerned I don't exist anymore. My mom has never even laid eyes on Dora. Its only precious Bella and darling Cissy."

"Older sisters can be _such_ a blessing," Lily said rolling her eyes.

"Uh-oh, trouble on the Petunia front?" Andromeda asked.

"Yeah, that's why I'm here."

"Wait. Are you running away?"

"No, not yet anyway, I just needed to have a way to get money in the wizarding world so that if that time comes I'll be ready." Andromeda shook her head in understanding, both girls knew what it was like to come from a family that did not understand them.

"Okay, well that passes as your interview in my opinion and my boss is out of town for the week but he left me in charge of hiring so I'll owl him later today and tell him I've filled thr position. By any chance did James Potter happen to visit you lately?"

"It was you that gave him my address! Andromeda! I can't believe you! Why? You know I can't stand that arrogant toerag!"

"Hey James! Sirius!" Andromeda said barely containing her laughter as she looked over Lily's shoulder. She knew Lily would be mortified by the sudden appearance of her cousin and his best friend, however Andromeda believed that the attraction between James and Lily was not as one sided as Lily would have liked to pretend and therefore Andromeda loved putting her two friends in awkward situations, like the one in which they presently found themselves.

"Dromeda, Evans," Sirius said smiling broadly, he two enjoyed watching James and Lily squirm in each other's presence. James, for his part, never allowed his eyes to leave the floor. Lily tried desperately to catch James' eye and in some way tell him she was sorry for her words, but her attempts were futile. "We came to get you for brunch Dromeda, if you still want to go?" Sirius said.

"Will you be okay here while I'm gone Lil?"

"Yeah, yeah I'll be fine," Lily said offhandedly, still trying to get James' attention. Lily inwardly cursed herself as James, Sirius, and Andromeda set off for brunch. Why did she have to be so thoughtless? After everything Potter had done for her yesterday and instead of thanking him, there she was calling him an arrogant toerag the next time she saw him.

Lily probably would have continued to fixate on this matter until the trio had returned if she had not been torn from her thoughts by the sounds of breaking glass across the street.

Death Eaters, four of them had appeared out of nowhere and were proceeding to stun and hex anyone within their reach. One of them broke away from the group and began to make his way to Quality Quidditch Supplies. Lily reached for her wand in an attempt to lock the door or impede his way by some other means but she was too late. He was already crossing the threshold of the store. She raised her wand at the same time as he raised his, each preparing for a duel, until he removed his mask and she realized for the first time that the face peering out at her was that of her best friend, Severus Snape.

"Severus?" Lily squeaked unable to believe her eyes, "What are you doing? How can you do this?" He looked at her for several minutes and turned to look out at the street to see that his companions were succeeding in creating mayhem.

"I'm saving your life, Lily. They're out to kill mudbloods, but they won't hurt you if they think you're already dead."

"I'll take my chances, thanks. I don't need help from a death eater." She raised her wand as if to impress upon him her point. He, however, had been taking lessons from his master and had far surpassed her in dueling since the last time they had playfully dueled for practice in Defense Against the Dark Arts. He silently cast the spell to incarcerate her, giving her no chance to block the spell. He then picked her up and carried her into the back room of the shop. Try as she might Lily could not break through the enchantment. Snape threw her to the ground as he heard his companions breaking into the store and firing the dark mark above the entrance.

"I love you Lily Evans," he said quietly and then he yelled so that his friends would here, "Sectumsempra!" Lily screamed as she felt what seemed like a hot knife slash into her skin, Snape felt as if he had cast the spell on himself but he turned away as if his victim meant nothing to him as his companions, Lucius, Bellatrix, and Bellatrix's fiancé Rodolphus entered the room.

"Well done, Severus," Lucius said. "We've searched the store and we were unable to find the list. Does the mudblood know anything about it?"

"No, I've already questioned her, she just started working here, she knows nothing."

"Maybe the cruciatus will loosen her tongue." Bellatrix sneered raising her wand.

"Perhaps," mused Severus, "but as I said she knows nothing. The aurors are surely on their way, we can't risk capture, capture would mean starting anew on the Dark Lord's plans and he would not be pleased."

"Severus is right, we shall leave before the aurors come'" with that Lucius and Rodolphus disapparated, leaving Bellatrix to bring Snape through side along Apparation as he was not yet of age. Lily was left behind in the empty store room loosing more blood with every second that passed and feeling her life slowly slipping away.


	6. Chapter 6

Mayhem broke out in Diagon Alley as people everywhere began to scream. James, Sirius, and Andromeda each turned from their booth at The Leaky Cauldron towards the entrance to Diagon Alley, in order to gain an idea of what could have caused such havoc. They turned and saw a distant cousin of Sirius and Andromeda, Molly Prewett Weasley, running through the door of the pub from Diagon Alley. "Death Eaters! The Dark Mark has been fired over the Quidditch Supplies Store! Tons of people are injured!" The few people in the pub rose as one in a rush towards the entrance to the alley in order to help, find loved ones, or in some cases just to witness a horrific scene. James Potter, with his quidditch tested reflexes, was the first to make it into the alley. The scene that met his eyes was one of pure catastrophe, yet he had eyes for none of the faceless injured or dead, his eyes and mind searched on the one person he could not yet see. Lily. His Lily, how could he ever forgive himself for not looking at her when she was trying to catch his eye. What if she was gone? What if they had hurt her? He ran faster than ever on his way to the store. He vaguely heard Sirius and Andromeda's shouts to wait, that it could be dangerous.

"Danger be damned", he thought, "Lily needs me." James flung open the shop door; the Death Eaters had clearly been there. Everything was a mess, shelves overturned; singe marks from curses that had missed their mark, broken glass, but still no sign of Lily. "Lily?" he called out, desperate to find her, desperate to believe she was okay. There was no response. "Damn it! She can't be dead! I won't let her be dead." In desperation to find some clue as to where she might be James ran into the back store room, but the sight that met his eyes drove almost all hope from his heart.

There she was, Lily. Lily Evans. The monsters had incarcerated her in nets and then had slashed her open. She was not conscious and try as he might he could not wake her. "Lily! Lily! Wake up, Evans! Wake up! Please Lily! Don't die Evans! I love you Lily, please don't leave me." James sobbed as he called out to her, shaking her trying everything he could think of to try and bring Lily back. "Reneverate!" He said pointing his wand to Lily's chest. Nothing happened. "Lily please wake up. Please Lily wake up!"

Sirius and Andromeda having finally made their way through the masses were horrorstruck by the scene they found. Andromeda yelped at the sight of Lily, the only real sister she had ever had, lying their lifeless. Sirius, though struck by the brutality of Lily's attack, was even more struck by his best friend's loss of control at the sight of Evans' lifeless body. James heard them come in, but did not turn around. Lily needed all of his attention. Looking at her beautiful face, seemingly dead, a strange sense of clarity came over James. Lily needed him and he would not let her down. He had promised her yesterday, he would always be there.

"Dromeda, apparate Lily to St. Mungo's then come back and get me. Sirius go to the post office and borrow two owls, send one to my parents and tell them what has happened, send the other one Dumbledore, the Order should know." Neither Sirius or Andromeda hesitated in following James' orders. James lifted Lily into Andromeda's arms and watched as Andromeda apparated Lily to St. Mungo's. Sirius set off at once for the post office and James waited for Andromeda to return.

Augusta Longbottom had been the stern head healer at St. Mungo's for over 15 years, but never had she seen a scene of such chaos. People were apparating their friends or complete strangers with varying degrees of injury everywhere she looked in the lobby of St. Mungo's. She had hoped to never have to see a scene such as the one that played out before her eyes, but she did not panic. She brought her wand tip to her mouth and spoke calmly but firmly into it, her voice echoed throughout the hospital, "All available Healers report to the main lobby immediately. This is not a bloody drill. All available Healers report to the main lobby." As she turned on the spot she saw various healers appearing out of the different hallways and she spoke again into the tip of her wand, "All Healers trained in surgery prepare your operating rooms you will each only be able to use two assistants. The rest of you come with me, we must set up a triage unit, only those who can be saved must be admitted to the operating rooms. For those who can't be saved, do what you can to make them comfortable and move on to the next person."

"Healer Longbottom! Can you help us?" Augusta Longbottom turned to see two classmates of her son's, James Potter carrying Lily Evans and followed closely by Andromeda Tonks, whose child she had delivered a few years previously. She rushed to meet them.

"What happened to her?" She asked quickly while examining Lily.

"We're not sure, we had just left her alone for a few moments and then the attack happened and she was cursed." James watched nervously as Healer Longbottom examined the gash in Lily.

"She's very lucky, the curse has not done any permanent damage. She will recover in a few days time." She summoned two bottles to her side and applied an ointment to Lily's gash. The gash healed instantly and Lily came too with a rush of pain. Augusta met her questioning eyes and said soothingly, "I know it hurt Lily, dear, but I'm afraid as I don't know what curse was used on you that is the only way to heal it." She turned to James, "I know Lily is muggle born and ordinarily I would have her stay here but we are going to be overrun with more seriously injured victims of the attack, can she stay with you for a 3-4 days until she has healed completely?" Lily tried to speak and Andromeda seeing her friend's discomfort with this idea spoke up before James could answer.

"Couldn't she stay with me and Ted?"

"Absolutely NOT," Augusta said sternly, "that baby your carrying has been placed under enough stress as is, I will not allow you to further endanger yourself or the child by placing undue stress on yourself when Mr. Potter is more than capable of caring for Ms. Evans".

"It's fine, Dromeda." Lily whispered, it was all she could manage.

"Lily can stay with us for as long as she needs to," James added immediately.

"Good, then that's settled. James she will need to take 2mL of this potion twice a day for the next 3 days, and then once a day for 5 days. It will help her to regain her strength and replenish her blood supply. She will need rest and fluids. I will try and stop by your house after my shift ends later tonight to check on her recovery."

"Yes, Healer Longbottom," James said. James placed his arm around Lily, who was still unstable on her feet in order to help her to one of the many fire places where they could floo to his house. "Lily I'm going to need you to put both your arms around my neck and to hold on tight to me okay?" She nodded her assent as he stepped into the fire and shouted, "Number 16 Godric's Hollow".

James stepped out of the fire with Lily supported in his arms. He was met by the concerned faces of both his parents, Sirius, and Albus Dumbledore. "Mom, Dad, Professor," James said with a nod toward each of the adults. He then proceeded to carry Lily to the couch and place her down gently among the pillows. He knelt down beside her and pulled the flask filled with potion out of his pocket. He summoned a glass from the kitchen and measured out the prescribed 2mL of the potion and brought the glass to Lily's lips. "Lily, I reckon this is going to taste bloody awful but you need to drink it okay?" She nodded her head ever so slightly in assent and he tipped the potion into her mouth to make it easier for her to drink. James heard Andromeda step out of the fireplace and turned to find out why it had taken her so long to arrive, when she had been merely steps behind them at the hospital.

"I sent an owl to Lily's parents so that they would know she was alright and not to worry." Andromeda said, addressing the room at large.

"Lily, I would like for you to rest right now," spoke Professor Dumbledore, "I will need to speak with James, Sirius, and Andromeda each individually to find out if any of them saw anything at all that might give us a clue as to the perpetrators of the attack. Jillian and Richard," he said speaking to the James' parents, "I believe I can count on you to alert all the necessary people about the possible problems we have discussed." He waited for their assent and after it had been given he went on, "Now, I must meet with the minister as I am sure he is quite frantic, I will return within the hour to interview the children. I am hopeful that I will convince the minister that my interrogation will suffice, so that they will not have to endure a second with the aurors."

"Thank you, Albus." Richard Potter accompanied Dumbledore to the limits of the house's protective spells, where once passed them Dumbledore apparated to his meeting with the minister.

Jillian saw immediately to Lily's well being and would hear none of Lily's thanks and apologies, "Oh not to worry my dear. We'll have you better in a jiffy. You are always welcome here." Jillian moved Lily into James' room, despite Lily's protests that she could stay on the couch, "Oh don't be silly dear, James can stay in Sirius' bedroom. You are the guest, I care much more about your comfort than that of my darling brat of a son," she said with an exaggerated wink that made Lily laugh out loud. Lily liked Mrs. Potter she was everything she wished her own mother could be, caring, funny, smart, and outrageous.

Dumbledore arrived as promised within the hour. He met with Sirius first.

"Sirius, when did you hear about the attack?"

"When Molly Weasley came running into the Leaky Cauldron" Sirius answered.

"Did you notice anything peculiar as you walked through Diagon Alley?"

"No sir."

"Is there anything else you would like to tell me, Sirius?"

"No sir, well only that some of the curses I saw as we ran back to the Quidditch store…"Sirius paused he was unsure of how best to say what was on his mind.

"Yes, Sirius," Dumbledore encouraged.

"It reminded me of my cousin, Bellatrix, sir. Andromeda's sister."

"I see, well I will certainly look into it. Thank you Sirius, please send Andromeda in to speak with me next."

Andromeda entered the sitting room where Dumbledore sat waiting for her a few moments later. "Hello, Andromeda. How are Ted and little Nymphadora?"

"Good sir, thank you."

"Now Andromeda, tell me you work full time at the Quality Quidditch Supplies Store?"

"Yes sir, I've worked there for about 6 months now."

"Excellent. Do you have any idea why the Death Eaters would want to attack Benjy Fenwick's store?"

"No sir."

"Sirius seems to think that there is reason to believe that your sister may have been involved in the attack, do you have anything to say that might add to or discount from that theory?"

"It wouldn't surprise me, sir. Some of the spell work did seem similar to stuff I've seen my sister do. I do believe her to be a death eater, sir. She has always looked up to You-Know-Who and would be proud to do his bidding."

"I see. Well unless there is anything else you have to tell me I would ask you to please send James in to see me."

"Yes sir, right away."

"Professor," James said as he entered his sitting room and waited for the questioning to begin.

"Ah yes, Mr. Potter. James I believe you were the first one to reach Miss Evans after the attack?"

"Yes sir."

"And can you please tell me what you found?"

"It was chaos, sir. Lily had a big gash and she didn't respond when I called to her. The whole store was torn apart, like the monsters were looking for something."

"Yes, I'm sure they were looking for something."

"May I ask sir, do you have any ideas what it might have been?"

"Oh, I believe I know, but I'm afraid you are too young to know yet."

"Sir, with all do respect, both my parents are members of the Order. You know I am no stranger to the war. I want to join the Order."

"Yes, James I know. You have made those wishes quite clear, but I'm afraid my answer has not changed. It will be a privilege to have you join the Order when you are of age, but for now you are too young and it is too dangerous. Now, did you happen to notice anything out of the ordinary in Diagon Alley this morning?" James hesitated; he appeared to be on the verge of speaking but seemed to think better of it. It was Lily's place to tell Dumbledore, she deserved the vengeance more than he did.

"No sir, I didn't notice anything."

"Well then, James, if you would like to accompany me, we will go see how Miss Evans is doing."


	7. Chapter 7

"Did you find the list?" spoke the cold high-pitched voice.

"No my Lord, but we believe it is in the store. The girl who was there at the time was a new employee and would not have been aware of what is hidden there," Bellatrix said confidently.

"Very well, you will go by yourself and finish the job Bella."

"Yes, my Lord."

"Tell me, how did our young Mr. Snape do on his first real assignment?"

"He did well my Lord, but he still has much to learn. I do not believe he succeeded in killing the mudblood."

"He will learn. You and Lucius are to continue to keep an eye on him, until I feel he is ready. Do I make my self clear, Bella?"

"Yes, my Lord."

"Good. Now go find me that list."

Lily Evans looked up from the bed she had been resting in as Professor Dumbledore entered the room. He was followed closely by James Potter. "Jillian, if you could please leave me to talk with Lily about the events of this afternoon," Dumbledore said addressing Mrs. Potter.

"Certainly, come along James."

"Actually, I would like to keep James with me. He was the one who found Lily and perhaps they can help each other to remember any tiny details that may seem insignificant but could be a clue to the larger puzzle," Dumbledore said. Jillian did not protest; she had known Albus Dumbledore long enough to know that he had his reasons for everything. "Now Lily, please tell me what you remember about your attack?"

"I was watching the store while Andromeda went to get some breakfast with Sirius and James. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary when all of sudden I heard this loud commotion coming from outside. I turned and I saw that there was several Death Eaters right outside the entrance to the store. I went to block the door but one of them was already crossing the threshold. I raised my wand to duel him, but he was too quick he cast a nonverbal incarcerous spell on me and he carried me back to the back of the storeroom. He cast some sort of spell on me that cut me open, and that's all I remember." James was staring at Lily as if he was waiting for her to add something to her story, when she did not he turned away from her in what seemed like disgust and waited for Dumbledore to continue his questioning.

"Did the Death Eater question you about anything, Lily?" Dumbledore asked after a moment's pause to reflect on what Lily had recollected. Lily searched her memory, trying desperately to remember what Severus had mentioned to Bellatrix and the others.

"Yes, um he asked me about the whereabouts of a list?" Dumbledore leaned forward a fraction of an inch; it seemed that this was the answer he had feared.

"Lily, did they find the list?"

"No, sir not while I was conscious," Lily answered.

"Lily," Dumbledore said speaking very gravely, "I need you to think very hard and tell me if you recognized your attacker or any of his accomplices." James turned around and looked at Lily; this was the moment of truth.

"No sir, my attacker kept his mask on the entire time. I did see Bellatrix Black, sir, but the rest kept their masks on the entire time." Dumbledore seemed satisfied with the answer, but James was not.

"Surely Lily, you recognized the voice of your attacker?" he asked, barely able to keep the anger controlled in his voice, "or can give us some detail that might lead to his capture?"

"I wish I could James, but after all I don't normally associate with Death Eaters, how could I recognize the voice of someone I never met?" She answered his angry outburst with a cool tone and an icy glare.

"Very well then, that is all we can ask of you. Please get plenty of rest, Lily." Dumbledore said with a bow as rose to leave. "Are you coming James?"

"No sir, if its all right I'd like to visit with Lily."

"Do not keep her too long James, she needs her rest." Dumbledore said as he left the room. James waited until he heard Dumbledore descending the stairs before he started in on Lily.

"How can you do that? How can you defend a Death Eater?" He snarled.

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Lily in a tone of clear defiance.

"Like hell you don't. Snape! It was Snape that attacked you."

"You're ridiculous! Severus couldn't do that. Just because you hate him, Potter, doesn't mean he's to blame for every bad thing that ever happens."

"I'm not ridiculous, if anything you're bloody naïve. Just because you were friends with that monster, you think you know him, well let me tell you something Evans; I know it was Snape that attacked you because I know that spell. He invented that spell, I would know I'm the one he's used it on before." Lily sat stunned for a moment before rallying again.

"Severus could never have invented that spell."

"Why do you insist on defending him?"

"I don't! I just know he's not guilty."

"If you didn't see your attacker, how do you know it wasn't him?" James asked sarcastically.

"Potter, get over yourself! I told you it wasn't Severus, so just drop it."

"Not a chance in hell. If you think I'm going to let him get away with what he did to you…you could have died Evans!"

"Potter, I know you are trying to be noble, but stop! I know what happened and I know what I saw."

"Yet, you're willing to protect a Death Eater. I never would have thought that of you Evans."

"Stop acting like this is so simple. Like it's all black and white. Real life has gray areas Potter!"

"Not with this. Snape is a Death Eater. There's no protecting friends if their Death Eaters anymore, Evans. This isn't some prank at school, he's working for You-Know-Who. Who knows what that list was they were looking for, it could be something really serious. This is black and white, Evans. You're either with the Death Eaters or you're against them, and it looks to me like you're with them."

"How dare you! How dare you suggest that I would ever be a Death Eater!"

"I just call them as I see them, Evans."

"Get out!"

"You're forgetting this is my room, Evans."

"Fine, then I'll get out."

"Like hell you will, sit down or I'll call my mother." Lily looked mutinous but she lay back down as she had been instructed.

"Leave me alone, Potter. I'll be gone in two days and after that as far as I'm concerned we're not friends."

"I'm not friends with Death Eaters," he said with glare.

"Fine!" she yelled, "Then the next time you see me, don't talk to me!"

"Fine!" he yelled back as he marched out of his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

Andromeda was glad to finally be home. She felt bad leaving Lily alone in the Potter house, but after all Lily was the one who told her to go home and get some rest. "Ted?" she called out.

"I'm in here Dromeda!" Andromeda walked in to the sitting room where her husband was waiting for her with their daughter, Nymphadora whose hair was currently a bright shade of yellow.

"Yellow, today?" she asked her husband, she always found it amusing to find how her daughter's appearance changed from day to day.

"Just for a few moments, she's been going crazy all day. Started out the morning with a duck beak for a nose and pink hair, then she had gray hair. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen this little two year old girl with shockingly gray hair." Andromeda had to laugh out loud, after the day she had had seeing her daughter and her husband were the best remedy that could be imagined. Nymphadora, seeming to have just noticed her mother's entrance, wobbled over to her mother and in her happiness turned her hair turquoise.

"How's Lily?" Ted asked with sudden concern in his voice.

"Lileeeee" Nymphadora mimicked with a giggle.

"She seems to be doing alright. Healer Longbottom seems to think she will make a full recovery at any rate."

"Any idea what the Death Eaters were looking for?"

"None, though Dumbledore seems to know."

"Well of course, Dumbledore knows, what doesn't that man know?"

"I was thinking I would take Dora with me to work tomorrow, spend a little quality mother, daughter time together."

"Sounds good to me, I was thinking I would owl Arthur Weasley and see if there were any openings in the ministry, see if he could recommend me for anything."

"Honey that's great, but Arthur just started working there too; I doubt he's in much of a position to give recommendations."

"I know, but he got a promotion from a mail clerk the other day. He's a filing clerk now, and I figure they probably need someone in the mail room to take his place."

"It's worth a try, I suppose."

"I'll say I don't know how much longer we can manage with just the one income."

"Yes, but who will watch Dora if you get a job. It's not like we can leave her at my mother's. Or I know maybe one of my lovely sisters can watch her?"

"Yeah dear old Aunt Bella, she'd be a great babysitter. I don't know Dromeda; we'll have to figure out something though. How are we going to manage two babies with only one income when we can barely manage with just Dora?"

Lily Evans tried her best to sleep, but she had far too much on her mind. She knew Potter was furious with her, part of her could not blame him, could not help agreeing with him. Why was she protecting Severus? Was Potter right? Did Severus invent that spell? Was she really, by not telling Dumbledore, helping the Death Eaters? Why did Severus not kill her? Was he really trying to save her like he said? Why did she have to sleep in Potter's bed, when it annoyingly smelled just like Potter, and even more annoyingly why did a part of her really like being in the bed surrounded by his smell? All these questions raced through her mind, none had satisfactory answers. She hated the way Potter had looked at her today, gone was the look of desire, gone was the look of concern, replaced by a look of disappointment, as if she was somehow less than he had thought. Why was he so infuriating? How dare he think he was some moral authority on right and wrong! Life wasn't black or white; she didn't care what he said. This was not a cut and dry situation. Severus had been her best friend, how could she turn him in? The truth was she did not want to have to admit to herself or anyone else that she had been wrong about Severus, that he really was a Death Eater.

James Potter lay awake in the cot his mother had placed in Sirius' room, thinking as always of Lily Evans.

"What's the matter Prongs?" Sirius asked his best friend.

"Nothing and I thought you were asleep."

"How can a man sleep with you thinking so loudly?"

"Funny, you're a regular laugh a minute."

"Touchy aren't we tonight, Mr. Prongs. Could it perhaps be caused by the presence of the lovely Miss Evans in your bed tonight and you not joining her?"

"I wouldn't want to join _her_," James said defiantly.

"Yeah right, Prongs, it's not like you haven't been lusting after her since the moment you laid eyes on her. Are you telling me you are going to let her sleep in the room right next door, in your own bloody bed, without doing anything?"

"That's what I'm saying. I don't have the slightest interest in where Miss Evans is sleeping."

"What happened? Did you two have a fight?"

"You could say that."

"So what's new about that? I've never known you and Evan's not to fight. Like a bloody cat and dog, you are."

"This was different; I think she loves someone else."

"Who," Sirius asked all kidding aside. Despite his teasing of James he knew his best friend genuinely cared for Lily and that his friend was obviously in pain.

"Snape," James said, it was almost a growl.

"You have got to be kidding me!" Sirius said with a laugh.

"I am not. I think she loves him."

"What in the hell makes you think that?"

"The spell that was used on Lily, you didn't recognize it?"

"You think it was sectumsempra? I thought about that, but surely she would have turned him in."

"You would think, but she's protecting him. She loves him."

"I don't think that's it, Prongs. I think she is just protecting him because he used to be her friend, her best friend. It must be hard on her to realize she was so wrong about him."

"How can you defend her? You've turned in members of your own family, your own cousin!"

"Exactly and I know how hard it can be, maybe Lily just isn't ready."

"He nearly killed her!"

"I know, James. I'm just saying maybe you shouldn't be so hard on her."

"I don't have a bloody choice. What if her keeping her mouth shut, protecting that Death Eater results in the death of someone in the Order? My parents even!"

Morning dawned in the Potter household much as it always did with Jillian preparing breakfast for her husband before he set off for work. After seeing Richard off, she made her way upstairs to check on her guest. Though she pretended to be ignorant of her son's feelings, Jillian Potter was very much aware that Lily Evans was _the_ girl in her son's life. It was, therefore, a relief to her when she discovered that she liked Lily immensely. She tapped on the door to her son's bedroom and heard a weak come in as she turned the doorknob to enter the room.

"Good morning my dear, did you sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you," Lily said with a weak smile.

"That was a silly question. Of course you didn't sleep well, how could you with everything that happened yesterday!"

"It was all a bit overwhelming," Lily conceded.

"Yes, I can imagine. Now, tell me my dear, what is your favorite breakfast?"

"Oh, anything is fine Mrs. Potter. Really, I don't want you to have to go to any trouble."

"It's not any trouble at all, dear."

"Go with the omelet, it's her specialty," James said as he came in to his room to retrieve clothes from his closet.

"Okay, I guess I'll have an omelet then." Lily said as she began to get up from the bed.

"Oh no dear, don't be silly. You'll have breakfast in bed. You need your rest."

"Mrs. Potter I really appreciate everything you're doing, but it's not necessary."

"Not necessary? My dear girl you almost died yesterday. Don't make me hex you into that bed. Sit and I will send one of the boys up with your breakfast in a few minutes. They have nothing better to do believe me."

"Well thank you very much, Mrs. Potter."

"Please, call me Jillian. Come along James, let the poor girl rest." She said as she marched out of the room.

"James," Lily called out, "you don't have to go. I mean it's your room after all," she said with a small smile.

"'The next time you see me, don't talk to me', remember?" James said. Lily looked as if she had been slapped across the face, but she faltered only for a moment before replying.

"Fine Potter, if that's the way you want this to be, that's the way it'll be."

"Oh no, do not put this off on me. I don't want it to be like this. It's you that's chosen the other side."

"Oh that's right I'm just a regular fucking Death Eater in your mind."

"No, I think you're fucking a Death Eater."

"Go to hell!"

"No thanks, it's you that prefers the company of devils like Snape."

"You know what, if I never see you again that will be fine by me."

"Couldn't happen soon enough!" with that James stormed out of his room slamming the door behind him.

Jillian and Sirius heard the door slam from the kitchen below as Jillian prepared Lily's breakfast.

"I think maybe I should have you take Lily her breakfast," Jillian said with a slight grimace.

"Probably a good idea," Sirius said. He was amused by the fight, granted it was more ferocious than their previous fights, but that was okay. "You see, Mrs. Potter, I have a theory about those two", he said waving a piece of sausage at her as if he were a teacher instructing a class.

"Oh really, a Sirius Black approved theory," Jillian said as she pulled out her chair and sat down, she always loved Sirius' theories, "do tell please."

"Okay, well I think all their anger and frustration with each other, as seen through their constant bickering, is because of all their sexual energy and frustration they have towards each other."

"Okay Sirius eww, this is my son we're talking about. Can you please refrain from using the phrase 'sexual energy'?"

"Sorry," Sirius said though he was not the least bit abashed. Mrs. Potter was one of those parents you could really talk to about anything. That is why he loved her. "So anyway my theory is that the reason they are having bigger fights now, is because they are being forced to be around each other more often. So they have more um tension they need to release."

"Hmm…things were so much simpler in my days. I mean Richard never did anything like this, if he was feeling 'tense' as you called it he would just go and…"

"Okay, whoa! Hold on there Mrs. P, that's an image I do not want or need. I'm eating my breakfast here!"

"That is payback for all your talk about my son's sexual energy," Jillian said while holding in wild laughter.

"Okay, dude, Padfoot, why in the bloody hell are you talking about my sexual energy with my mother?" James said as he entered the kitchen.

"One of his theories, dear," Jillian said supplying James with his answer.

"Okay, bigger question, why do you have theories about my sexual energy?"

"I have theories about everything my dear Mr. Prongs."

"If it's all the same to you, I think I'd like to keep my sexual energy private."

"Sure why not? You got that breakfast ready for me to take to the lovely Evans yet, Mrs. P?"

"Right here, Sirius," she said as she handed him the plate with the omelet and sent him on his way.


	8. Chapter 8

Sirius entered the bedroom to find Lily Evans out of bed and attempting to move around, though her pain was obvious due to her constant wincing.

"Evans what are you doing?" Sirius said.

"I'm going home." Lily said with a shaky voice.

"I'd like to see you try to get past Mrs. P"

"I don't want to inconvenience anyone"

"He doesn't mind being inconvenienced by you," Sirius said with a smile. "Now get back in bed before I call Mrs. P up here."

"Sirius please, you don't understand. James hates me. He doesn't want me here."

"He doesn't hate you. He's angry with you, he's hurt, but he could never hate you, Lily."

"You didn't see the way he looked at me this morning."

"No, but I did see the way he looked when he thought you were dead yesterday afternoon and I hope I never have to see him look that way again." Lily did not respond but merely continued to look down at the floor. Sirius took this pause in her argument to usher her back in the bed, not just out of concern for Lily but also for him and what Mrs. Potter would do to him if she saw that he had allowed Lily out of bed for even a moment.

"He just doesn't understand." Lily said after eating a few bites of her breakfast, and Sirius noticed some of her usual fire had returned to her eyes.

"He understands better than you would think."

"Severus was my best friend for 4 years, my only friend when I was alone in the muggle world. How can James just expect me to turn my back on that friendship?"

"Lily, I know what its like to feel torn between people you love and what you know is right. Bellatrix is my cousin; my own little brother wants to be a Death Eater. I know it's hard and James knows it's hard, but sometimes you have to do hard things."

"I don't think I'm strong enough", Lily said after a moment's pause.

"Like hell you're not, you're one of the strongest witches I know, Evans."

"I can't turn in my friend".

"There's going to come a moment Lily when you're going to have to make the choice between protecting a friend and doing the right thing and protecting our world."

Andromeda carried her daughter in to the loft situated above Quality Quidditch Supplies which functioned as a break room. She had set up Dora's play pen in the room and cast an audio-sensory charm over the room so that she would be able to hear down in the shop if her daughter needed anything.

She returned to the shop room and straitened up some of the displays while she waited for it to be time to open the store. She was fixing a display on the counter when she heard someone enter the door behind her.

"We don't open for another 15 minutes," she said without turning around. The voice that answered caused a chill to shoot up her spine.

"Not even for family, sister?" Andromeda whipped around and drew her wand as she did so.

"Get out Bella!" Bellatrix cackled her wild laugh as she looked her sister up and down.

"Darling Dromeda you cannot possibly think that you have a chance in a duel against me."

"I said get out Bella!"

"I will as soon as you tell me the whereabouts of a list that is located in your store."

"Surely your master doesn't need a list of quidditch supplies," Andromeda said with a sneer worthy of her sister.

"Don't play games with me Andromeda. You know what list I desire."

"I wish I did if it would get you out of my sight sooner."

"Fine, sister, if you chose to play games with me, I will play too," and before Andromeda had a chance to cast a protective spell or to dodge out of the way, her sister had screamed, "Crucio!" Andromeda fell to the floor and shrieked in pain until after what seemed to her like an eternity, Bellatrix released her from the curse. "Now, do you have any recollection about the list?"

"No, I swear I don't know! Bella please you have to believe me!"

"I do not have to do anything, Andromeda. Crucio!" Again Andromeda began to writhe in pain.

"Fine! Fine! I'll tell you!" Andromeda sobbed.

"Good girl," said Bellatrix as she released the curse.

"I don't know if its what you're looking for, but Fenwick had said there was an important document hidden in a secret compartment in that bookcase over there and not to bother it." Bellatrix advanced on the bookcase and thoroughly ransacked it until she seemed to find what she was looking for and she gave a yell triumph. Then she was gone in a swish of her cloak, gone to her master's side. Andromeda lay crying in a ball on the floor, she needed help but she had no idea how she was going to get it. The pain in her abdomen was increasing with every second that passed and Andromeda knew in her gut that it was the baby, something was wrong with her baby. After several moments the pain overtook her and Andromeda slid into unconscious oblivion.

Frank Longbottom and his girlfriend, Alice, walked through Diagon Alley holding hands. In their opinion they had been dating for two years, even if no one else considered their shy trips to Hogsmede when they were 13 as dates.

"I can't believe about all the attacks here yesterday. Your mum seemed really worried." Alice said as she and Frank looked in the different shop windows.

"I think all the adults are worried. The Death Eaters are getting bolder with every day. Have you talked to Lily?"

"I wrote her almost as soon as I got home from your house yesterday. James responded said she was doing okay, but that she was resting and he would tell her I had checked in."

"I'd like to see how those two are managing under the same roof."

"Lily's probably beside herself, James drives her crazy."

"Yeah right, come on Ali, you're Lily's best friend! I know you don't believe that."

"You think she likes him?"

"I think it's obvious those two both feel an awful lot for each other."

"Yes, James is obsessed with Lily and Lily dislikes James."

"I just think those two fight too much for all that passion to be completely one sided. You mark my words Ali those two will end up married one day." Alice just shook her head and made her way over to the window of Quality Quidditch Supplies.

"Why are you looking at the QQS window, you don't even like Quidditch?"

"I'm not looking at the Quidditch stuff; I'm looking at the poster of Ludo Bagman."

"Very funny! Come on I need to get some stuff at Eyelops."

"Wait! Frank come back, I think something is wrong." Alice said the alarm evident in her voice. Frank rushed back to her side at the window.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't be sure but I think I hear a baby crying and it doesn't look like anyone is in there."

"I'm sure it's nothing, Ali" Frank said.

"Please Frank, let's check this out. There was already one attack here, I couldn't live with myself if someone else needed our help and we just walked away."

"Oh alright, but wands out and let me go in first."

They made their way in to the store and both immediately noted the book shelf that was ransacked. Alice was still looking over the bookshelf for some kind of clue as to who might have caused the chaos when she heard Frank's exclamation.

"Fuck! Ali come over here and help me, its Andromeda!"

"What is it, what's happened to her," Alice exclaimed as she ran over to where Frank had knelt down, next to Andromeda's inert body.

"She's still breathing, she's just unconscious. We've got to get her some help."

"I should go get the baby, we shouldn't leave her here. What if they come back?"

"Go but hurry, no telling how long she's been here."

Healer Longbottom was looking in on some of her terminal patients when she was summoned to the main lobby of St. Mungo's. She rushed to the lobby with the images of yesterday's chaos still weighing heavily on her mind. Her heart leapt into her throat when she saw her son holding the body of Andromeda Tonks and Alice holding little Nymphadora.

"What's happened?" She said as she helped her son lower Andromeda onto a stretcher an assistant had summoned.

"We found her in the store. We don't know how long she had been there." Frank answered his mother. Healer Longbottom did not respond to her son's answer, she began to wave her wand in several intricate movements, causing several different colored bands to expand over Andromeda's body.

"Healer Monroe," she spoke to her associate, "I want a hexology report on this woman right away. Take this information from my wand and get back to me immediately. I will be in OR1 with the patient running further tests."

"Yes, Madam," Monroe answered. Healer Longbottom moved quickly with her assistants to transport Andromeda to the OR.

"I need one of you to send notification to Ted Tonks immediately!" Longbottom yelled over the confusion as she began to further examine Andromeda.

"Healer Longbottom," said Monroe as he rushed into the room, "it was the cruciatus curse."

"As I had feared, in that case I need the x-ray potion. This woman is pregnant and I need to see if there is any way of saving the baby." Monroe followed her order immediately and Healer Longbottom applied the potion to Andromeda's stomach before muttering a complex incantation. The effect was immediate, Andromeda's stomach became like a glass window and it allowed Healer Longbottom to examine the baby that lay dead in side. "The child is dead," she said with a slight shake in her usually calm voice, "I'm going to have to remove the fetus." Healer Longbottom cast the charm allowing her to make the incision in her patient's stomach and then she gently removed the small barely formed fetus from its mother's womb. This was the part she hated about her job. She had become a healer to save people, not to allow them to die. She took a deep calming breath as she handed the body of the child over to one of the assistants, she needed to stay strong, and Andromeda could still be saved. "The preliminary scans I did when she was first brought in seemed to show little brain damage, nothing we won't be able to repair. Monroe check for any broken bones or any other damages that she may have sustained. I will prepare the potions for pain and shock that I want administered to her as soon as I bring her back to a conscious state."

Her orders were followed and once Andromeda incision was resealed Healer Longbottom moved her to a private room. It was there that Augusta Longbottom performed the spell that brought Andromeda screaming back to consciousness.

"It hurts," she cried. "Where's Nymphadora I had her at work today?"

"She's alright, my dear. Alice and Frank have her and have kept her entertained I'm sure. Darling, I need for you to take these potions, one is for pain and one is for the shock." Andromeda took both potions that were offered to her and sat very still for a moment before she looked up at her trusted Healer.

"Healer Longbottom, is my baby okay?"

"No my dear, I did all I could but I could not save your baby." Andromeda began to sob again this time from a pain no potion could heal. Soon the combination of the two potions had put her to sleep, which Healer Longbottom reasoned would be best for her at the moment.

Augusta Longbottom proceeded down to the lobby where she knew she would find Ted Tonks waiting anxiously.

"Healer Longbottom how is she?" Ted cried as he rose from his chair holding a sleeping Nymphadora in his arms.

"She'll be alright. The brain scans I did showed no permanent damage caused by the spell. It seems that she was only subjected to the curse for a short period of time, which can make all the difference in the world. Ted I have been studying this curse for years; ever since my husband Frank Sr. told me that it was gaining more prominence as the Death Eaters began to gain more power. I can tell you that Andromeda is exceedingly lucky to not have had more damage done to her brain, many can be completely addled by it and though I have been working hard to find some way to reverse the damage, so far I have been unsuccessful. However lucky when facing the Cruciatus curse is by no means lucky; Andromeda was subjected to quite a lot of pain and internal bleeding. I regret that I have to tell you that Andromeda lost the baby; there was nothing I could do. I am so sorry." Ted Tonks was quiet for a long moment as if he was letting the Healer's words sink in. Tears fell from his eyes for his poor unborn child, the child he would never meet but loved all the same. He shook his head in understanding not trusting his voice. "I wish that was all the bad news I had for you, but there is one more thing. Andromeda knows about the baby, but I thought it too soon to burden her with anything else at the moment". Augusta waited until Ted had shaken his head signaling his readiness for the rest of the news before she continued. This was the part she hated about her job. "I am afraid that enough damage was done to Andromeda to prevent her from ever being able to conceive another child."

Ted shook his head a third time to show that he understood. He looked down at his beautiful daughter Nymphadora and another stream of tears flowed from his eyes. He should have been there to protect his family. His wife had been tortured to the point that it caused the death of one of their children, not only that but now they would never be able to have anymore children. It was a blessing that his darling daughter had been tucked out of sight from the monsters, it made him sick to think he could have lost them all.

"May we go up and see her. I know she's not awake, but I'd like to see her, stay with her."

"Of course you can. I'll show you up. My shift ends in about 5 minutes but owl me if you need anything at all."

"Thank you Healer Longbottom."

"James, darling can you see what that owl wants I need to finish this soup before your father gets home. He should really be here by now. I wonder what is keeping him," Jillian Potter said as she continued to fix the onion soup.

"Bloody hell!" Jillian Potter turned to see her son holding a letter looking pale. Sirius looked up from the game of wizard's chess he and James had been playing and gazed at his best friend with concern. "There was another attack at Quality Quidditch. They got Andromeda, Sirius. She's not dead but she was tortured, she lost the baby. Dora was there but she's okay."

"Merlin," exclaimed Jillian Potter, "what is this world coming too?" Sirius sat quietly for a moment and then in a rush of fury he aimed a kick at one of the dining room chairs and knocked it to the floor.

"Sorry Mrs. P," he said as he stormed out of the room. James ran after him not knowing what his best friend, who was known for his reckless streak, would do.

"Sirius! What the bloody hell has gotten into you?" James said as he reached the bedroom he and Sirius were currently sharing.

"Just leave me alone James! I need to be alone right now!" Sirius yelled.

"Like hell I will! Tell me what's going on!"

"I'm tired of it! I'm tired of it all, damn it! I'm tired of people getting hurt, people that I care about. I hate knowing that it was probably someone in my family that caused it! I hate them! I hate all of them!" Sirius screamed he was half yelling, half sobbing. James took a step towards his best friend and placed a hesitant hand on Sirius' shoulder. He took it as a good sign that Sirius did not shake off the hand.

"I know Padfoot. I know this is killing you inside, but don't forget that you are better than all of them. Don't let yourself think you have anything to do with them because you don't! Do you really think someone in your own family would have hurt Andromeda, I mean they are her family too."

"Prongs, it wouldn't surprise me if it was one of her damn sisters! They don't consider us family anymore. We've both been blasted off the family tree I'm sure. Not that I mind, I'd much rather no one be able to trace the connection." They both turned as there was a weak knock on the door.

Lily poked her head through the door, she was shaking with the effort it had cost her to make her way out of bed down to Sirius' room, but she looked resolute nevertheless. She glanced towards James shyly for a brief moment, but then quickly turned toward Sirius and it was to him she addressed her question.

"Sorry to interrupt but I accidentally overheard you talking. I…I wasn't trying to listen," she hesitated and then forced herself to the point. She didn't have time to care if they thought she was being nosy. "Is Andromeda okay?"

James had seemed to be in a trance since Lily had first poked her head through the door. Now with a look similar to having been doused with cold water said with a start, "Blimey Evans, you shouldn't have gotten out of bed. You look bloody awful, like a corpse. We should get you back in bed." She was caught off guard when she heard him addressing her. She turned her head quickly to look at him, but regretted it almost instantly as she began to feel dizzy. Both James and Sirius must have recognized this because both boys reached out a hand to steady her. However, she did not let this stop her. She took a moment to allow the room to stop spinning before she proceeded.

"James I am not going anywhere. Not until one of you tell me what happened to Andromeda!"

"There was another attack at the shop," Sirius said before James could protest any further. If possible Lily's face lost what little bit of color it had, James gave Sirius a reproachful look before making Lily sit down on Sirius' bed. Sirius continued, "They used the Cruciatus on her." Lily gasped and tears began to cascade down her frail face as she thought of what her friend must have gone through. "She's okay, no lasting brain damage, but she lost the baby."

"Oh Dromeda!" Lily cried. "How can people be so cruel?"


	9. Chapter 9

It was a week before Jillian Potter would finally allow Lily Evans, accompanied by James and Sirius, to visit the Tonks' household to check on Andromeda. Lily's anxiety rose to a fever pitch as they stood on the threshold of the house waiting for Ted to get to the door. James had dutifully sent every letter Lily wrote to Andromeda and yet she had received no reply, except for a short note from Ted saying Andromeda was recovering nicely and not to worry. However, Ted's assurances had done nothing to assuage Lily's fears, if Andromeda was recovering why had she not answered a single letter?

Ted Tonks looked relieved as he opened the door and saw the three teens at the doorstep. He had not lied to Lily in his letter, Andromeda was recovering physically, emotionally was another story entirely. Ted hoped that the visit from her three friends would cheer her, as nothing else would. Ted led them to their bedroom where Andromeda was propped up in bed. After he had gotten his guests settled he left to go give Nymphadora her bath.

Andromeda did not look up as her three friends entered the room; she continued to stare straight ahead at the wall. Lily was so thrilled to see her friend that she ran to her side and embraced Andromeda closely. Andromeda did not return Lily's embrace and she shrugged Lily off after only a moment.

"I'm sorry," Lily said looking startled, "Did I hurt you?"

"Not physically, no," Andromeda replied coldly. Lily flinched at the hardness in the response. "Why are you here?" Andromeda asked addressing all three of the teens. Lily gazed at Andromeda for a moment before shrinking back between James and Sirius in retreat. Sirius gazed at his cousin for a long moment before stepping forward, he had never seen her treat anyone, let alone her friends in such a horrible manner.

"Andromeda, is that you?" Sirius asked in tone that was both mocking and serious.

"Of course it's me, who else would it be?" Andromeda snapped back at her cousin, looking mutinous.

"Well with that tone of voice you could pass for your sister, Bellatrix."

"Do NOT speak that name in this house. How dare you!"

"Then stop acting like her, Dromeda! We are here, to answer your question, because we all care about you, we have been worried about you. We want to help you through this."

"You want to help me? Okay fine, I'll tell you how you can help me. None of the three of you will ever come near my daughter again. Lily you are no longer her godmother."

"Andromeda, please just tell me what I did," Lily pleaded, tears falling from her eyes.

"You didn't do anything Lily, dear. That's the problem. You protected your filthy Death Eater and because of it my child is dead! My poor defenseless little child, I will not allow you to treat my remaining child's life with such carelessness. And as for you two," she said rounding on Sirius and James, "I had Ted gather all of the toys you two have given Dora and place them in a bag, he doesn't know why and I am not going to tell him until after they are gone. I want those toys out of this house. Every single one of them is either a toy Auror or a toy bad wizard for the Auror to capture."

"Well yeah Andromeda it wouldn't work if the Aurors only had each other to capture," Sirius said. He was trying valiantly to keep his tone light; James was glaring at Andromeda with fury at the words she had spoken to Lily. His and Lily's argument over the same issue was temporarily forgotten as he held her in his arms, seeking to comfort her pain.

"My daughter will have no part of that madness. If you two want to dream of glory and battles with your toy Aurors then fine, let your dreams and your glory lead you to your own deaths, but you will not take my daughter with you! Sirius it would be better to leave Dora with a dog then with you, the dog would be more responsible," Andromeda said with a sneer at the mention of the secret to which she had hinted.

"I am always careful when I have Dora with me." Sirius said. The laughter was gone from his voice now. His voice was low, almost like the growl of the dog. Andromeda was not listening, she had moved on to James.

"And as for you, Potter. You're the most dangerous of them all. Fenwick told me what was written on that list that was stolen. My child is dead because of your parents and their stupid friends, that fucking Order of the Phoenix. They made my child a martyr for their cause. And you're just like them, all about fighting for the cause. Already, begging Dumbledore to let you join up. You're as pathetic as Sirius' brother Regulus, already wagging your tail at the idea of fighting and dying in a blaze of glory. Well, where's the glory now, Potter? Where's the glory in my little child being torn from my body…?"

"Andromeda, stop!" Ted was in the doorway looking at his wife with terror in his eyes. "How can you say these things to our friends? Honey I know you're hurting, so am I baby, but we can't turn on our friends. They're all we have left."

"How can you say that? It's their fault, theirs and the rest of this damned world's fault that our child is dead, Ted. We don't get to have any other babies because of people like them and their damned idealism, and I am sick of it. Ted, I love you but so help me if you don't stand by me on this." Andromeda paused for a breath before she added the last part of her plea to her husband, the part she knew he would be unable to refuse. "You weren't there to protect us then darling, but you can protect us now. Make them leave, please."

Ted's expression was full of pain as he turned to look at the three teens; he had had such high hopes in their visit. He was now lost as to a solution to Andromeda's mood. He would have to contact Healer Longbottom immediately. James, Sirius, and Lily did not wait to be asked to leave. They left quietly and none of them spoke about the encounter as they waited for the Knight Bus. They did not speak of it on the bus; they did not speak of it when they got back to the Potter house.

Severus Snape sat in the parlor of Malfoy Manor silently listening to the conversation going on around him. Bellatrix was regaling her sister, Narcissa, Lucius Malfoy, and her own fiancé Rudolphus with the story of her attack on the third Black sister, Andromeda. Severus nodded to himself attempting to keep up his façade of attentively listening to the story, but his mind was clearly elsewhere.

"Little Sev is looooveeesick," crooned Bellatrix in the sing song voice she used for mockery. "Of course I mean sick literally; at least _I _would be sick if _I_ were lusting after a mudblood."

"Fuck off, Bella!" Snape growled, he hated that he was unable to keep the blush from creeping onto his sallow face.

"Poor Severus," agreed Narcissa in a tone of indifference. "I really don't see what the attraction is. I hardly think Lily Evans is a beauty."

"I don't know," said Lucius Malfoy, "I wouldn't call her beautiful, but she was never bad to look at."

"I always thought she looked fuckable when she was mad," said Rudolphus. Bellatrix and Narcissa each turned their heads toward Rudolphus, their faces each wearing the same identical cold sneer. Lucius Malfoy simply laughed at his socially awkward friend's comment, whereas Severus glared and emitted a low wordless growl in Lestrange's general direction.

"Why only when she was mad?" Lucius asked after he stopped laughing.

"The fire in her eyes when she was pissed off at Potter, you could always tell she had real passion underneath."

"Potter, that pig! I hate him!" Severus said with a scowl.

"Evans and Potter!" Bellatrix said, again using her sing song voice.

"Bellatrix, do you ever shut up?" Severus snapped.

"Best be nice to me, Sevie, I have some information about your darling mudblood," she said with a smirk.

"What? What is it?" Severus said unable to contain his excitement.

"She's shacked up with Potter."

"Fuck off Bella! I thought you were serious about having information."

"She is," chimed in Narcissa. "I overheard some Griffyndors talking about it in Diagon Alley. Apparently Evans moved in with Potter's family after your attack on her. She was supposed to move out after she healed, but she's staying the rest of the summer. Apparently it's quite the scandal, the goody-two-shoes popular prefect living with the two biggest trouble makers in the entire school."

"What can she see in that egotistical pig Potter?" Severus asked his voice a low in both anger and pain.

"He does look good on a broom," said Narcissa with a smirk.

"She can't have feelings for him. She hates him!" Severus roared.

"You don't really believe that." Bellatrix said with a sneer. "That's why you hated Potter from the moment you met him. You were born, as I was, with the gift of Occlumency, something that can be both a gift we can use to serve the Dark Lord and a poison that can burn worse than any curse. I could see it in your mind just now, when your defenses were down due to your anger. You realized from the moment you first saw them together that there was something more than just hate burning behind her hatred of Potter. That's why this scares you now, you already know she loves him, you're just afraid of her realizing it." Bellatrix said in a voice that made it clear that she enjoyed knowing this secret of Snape.

"Go to hell, Bellatrix!" Snape snarled. Bellatrix appraised Severus for a long moment before speaking.

"Don't fret Severus. Bella has thought of a solution to your mudblood problem?" Bellatrix said with an excited look on her face.

"What could _you_ possibly do about it? I'm not going to trick her into dating me."

"Oh please Snape give me more credit than that. I am very creative. Perhaps I should have said this was a solution to your Potter problem."

"You have an idea about Potter? Okay, I'm listening Bella."

"Well when Cissy told me about this um development regarding Evans and Potter the wheels in my twisted little head began to turn. What I've come up with is quite impressive if I do say so myself. I believe we can take care of your problem and make a stride for the Dark Lord all at the same time. We now know thanks to the list I stole, by myself I might add, that Potter's parents are both prominent members of the Order of the Phoenix. What better way to get to the parents than through the son? If the son was to be killed by Death Eaters and it was believed to be an act of retribution for their support of the Order of the Phoenix, then the parents might have to reconsider their allegiance."

"Bella, you really are a twisted genius? How do you propose I get to Potter, he's not exactly easy to get alone?" Severus said with a gleam in his eyes. He liked Bellatrix's plan. It was perfect. It would allow him to get Potter out of the way and accomplish something for the Dark Lord as well.

"I propose we send him a love note asking him to meet us alone on the first Hogsmede weekend. Potter's ego is large; half of the female population of Hogwarts already is in love with him. He would believe it and would feel no danger in coming alone. Then we could ambush him…"

"No! I want to finish Potter on my own. He is mine!"

"Fine, then we will merely be close by in case you need us." Bellatrix said with a gleam in her eyes. It was clear that this was what she was hoping for, though she tried to hide behind her tone of indifference.

The pain of Andromeda's words sliced through Lily Evans, but she would not and could not let it overcome her. She had allowed herself to mope around the Potter household for the past week since she had seen Andromeda, but now it was time for her to be strong.

At breakfast an owl arrived; carrying two letters from home for Lily. She was eager to read them but also wanted to do so in privacy, therefore she waited on tenterhooks until breakfast was finished and she could make her way back upstairs to James' bedroom. When it had been decided that Lily should stay at the Potter's house for the rest of the summer Lily had been more than willing to give James his room back and to find herself other arrangements, but James steadfastly refused her offers and remained in the bedroom he was sharing with Sirius. Mrs. Potter had told Lily that it was the time of year when the boys would begin planning their back to school prank, and that being in the same room probably made it easier on the two schemers. Lily could not possibly imagine why anyone would _want_ to make it easier on Black and Potter, it wasn't as if they needed any help in creating mayhem, but she held her tongue.

She settled on to the bed and opened the first letter.

My Darling Lily,

We are so glad you are alright, when Andromeda came to us and told us of the attack, we were horrified. Your father and I would both like to express our desire that you consider leaving your magic behind you. Andromeda wrote to us just a few days ago to inform us of the war the magical world is now entering. I am too concerned about you to be as furious as I know I should be. I cannot believe you hid something from your father and me. This obviously places the attack on you in a different light. If this Dark Wizard is attacking people of your birth than it is imperative that you come home at once and leave this nonsense behind you. Do you know that Andromeda's own sister attacked her? Obviously this has gone too far, if sisters must resort to attacking sisters. I must therefore ask you to leave the Potter's home at once. I am grateful to them for having cared for you diligently throughout the past week, but this must end. When Mrs. Potter wrote a few days ago, very nice of her to use the normal way, asking if we would permit you to stay the rest of the summer, we were pleased that you seemed to have endeared yourself so much to the woman. We wrote back immediately with our warmest wishes and thanking her for her hospitality, your father and I were happy so long as you were happy. Now, that has changed. I will not lose you to some mythological war! Lily dear, I know these words must hurt you. I know you have enjoyed yourself the past 5 years, but all good things must end.

I am reminded as I write this letter to you of when you were just a little child. You loved for your father or me to read to you from Peter Pan by Mr. Barry. Well my little "Tiger Lily" it is time for you to grow up and leave Never Never Land behind. The magical world is not your world.

Lovingly,

Mother

Lily seethed with rage. How dare Andromeda? How dare she involve Lily's parents in this? How dare her mother try and order her home? Didn't she understand that their house was not her home anymore? Her home was Hogwarts and the magical world. She was more at home here in Potter's house than she had been for the past five years in her own home! Lily threw the letter to the floor.

BANG!

Lily jumped a foot in the air.

"What the bloody hell was that?" she thought to herself. The Prefect in her would not allow her to fail to investigate this disturbance and to due to previous experiences as a Hogwarts Prefect she had a good idea where to start looking. Lily grabbed her wand off of the bedside table and marched down the hallway to the bedroom shared by Sirius and James.

After breakfast James and Sirius retreated back to the bedroom they were now sharing to work on their latest prank. They were using James' two-way mirror to communicate with their fellow Marauder and friend, Remus Lupin. Sirius had sent his own two-way mirror to Remus when he moved in with James, seeing as he would no longer need it to communicate with James.

"I doubt we'd be able to slip Snape any potion, Padfoot. If he really is a Death Eater then he will be on the lookout. Besides, Snape is better at potions than anyone else in our class, except for maybe Evans. He would recognize anything we tried better than we would. "Remus was saying into the mirror. "What are you making anyway?"

"Just one of my own little creations," Sirius said with a smile.

"I agree with Moony, Padfoot", James said, "For one thing, you're creation smells bloody awful! No way is anyone going to take that, unless we confound them first."

"Would one of you please tell me what it is?" Remus said sounding exasperated. He wished he could be there with them, helping and monitoring them to make sure they did not get too out of hand. He was a Prefect after all. However, the full moon would be arriving in a little over a week and his parents were always very cautious about letting him out of the house during that "time of the month" as his mother insisted on calling it. He wished she wouldn't, it made him sound like a premenstrual girl. Little did she know that James and Sirius, as well as their friend Peter Pettigrew, had all seen and been around Remus when he was transformed.

"I would tell you, mate. If I knew," said James ardently, "but he's basically just mixing a bunch of really foul potion recipes together to see what he comes up with."

"Padfoot get rid of it. It could be nothing or it could be something really atrocious."

"It smells atrocious," said James.

"If it is atrocious it will be a good fit for Snivelly." Sirius said with a smile.

"We already almost killed him when you tried to introduce him to me during my…transformation," Remus added in a whisper.

"If he's the death eater that attacked Evans, and we think he is, then he tried to kill people too!"

"We're better than that though, Padfoot," James said quietly. He knew how both Sirius and Remus felt. It would feel good to get revenge on Snape for what he had done to Lily and who knows how many others, but he would not use Remus as a weapon. He would not sink to the level of the Death Eaters.

BANG! The Potion Sirius had been trying to vanish exploded.

"Bloody Hell, are you two idiots okay?" Remus called into the mirror trying to see through all the smoke that was obscuring the other side.

"Sirius, what were you doing?" James said looking at his best friend in exasperation.

"I was trying to vanish it!" Sirius said looking around the room with a baffled expression on his face.

"Well it looks like you vanished it, almost vanished the whole room and us with it too." James said as he began to laugh. Remus and Sirius both joined in almost immediately and soon all three boys were laughing hysterically. Then it was no longer funny. Lily Evans was standing in the doorway, glowering at them.

"I should talk to you guys later," Remus said with a guilty look.

"No, I think you should stay and chat, Remus." Lily said with poison in her voice. Remus glanced quickly at his friends before retreating from the mirror and covering it with something so that all Lily or James and Sirius could see was darkness. "What are you doing?" Lily said in the voice they knew best, her discipline voice. To James' chagrin over the years it had more often or not been Lily who had caught them in wrong doing. She loved giving them detentions.

"Evans darling," said Sirius, "this is summertime love. That's none of your concern."

"You wouldn't be working on something to use at school, would you?" Lily said.

"Always assume the worst, don't you?" said James, "Whatever happened to giving a guy the benefit of the doubt."

"You're standing in a smoky room that reeks and you just exploded something. What more evidence do I need that you're up to something? An explosion at Hogwarts."

"Evans, Evans, we are not going to explode Hogwarts. We were not trying to explode anything today. I was merely trying to vanish the source of the smell." Sirius said grudgingly.

"You exploded something you were trying to vanish? How did you do that?"

"If we knew that, Evans, we wouldn't have exploded it." James said. "I wish we had a concrete plan, as you seem to believe, but we are merely in the trial and error stage of planning."

"You two are incorrigible!" she said as she turned to walk back to room. She had her own problems to deal with. What was she going to do about her mother's letter? She hadn't even read the second letter yet. She simply did not have the time to fool with idiotic boys who liked to spend time blowing things up.

"Moony!" Sirius called into the mirror. "You can come out now you big coward!" Remus reappeared laughing.

"This might be a dumb question, but how are things going, living with Lily?"

"That was the first time she's spoken in a week. She's been spending all her time either reading or in my room. Andromeda was horrible too her." Remus shook his head in understanding at James' words.

"What about you two, though? Sirius had written to say you two had gotten into a big row about the attack at the store?"

"I decided to let it go on my end. Andromeda has punished her enough. As for her end, she hates me either way regardless, so it doesn't really affect our relationship that much. It's still love-hate. I love her and she hates me." All three boys laughed at this and soon they had recommenced planning on their back to school prank.


	10. Chapter 10

Lily Evans flew down the stairs into the Potter's kitchen. This was the day she had been waiting for, and finally it was here. The OWL results had arrived. She had worried to the point of obsession that her results would not find her here at the Potter home, but just minutes ago James had called up the stairs that three owls had just arrived, one for each of the teens. Hands trembling, she reached for her envelope, James and Sirius were already tearing there envelopes open. "Predictable," she thought to herself, "Of course they have nothing to be nervous about, it's not like either of them have ever cared about marks. I doubt they even studied at all for their OWLS." She, Lily, wished she could tear open her own envelope with the same bravado, but unlike James and Sirius, she had worked hard for the past five years to earn good marks on her OWLS, and with the threat of her mother's letter from the previous day looming in her mind, the results seemed to hold even more importance to her future than she could have previously imagined. Yet, this was the moment she had been waiting for, and she would not shy away from it. She took a deep, steadying breath and opened the envelope to read her results.

**O****RDINARY ****W****IZARDING ****L****EVEL ****R****ESULTS**

_**Pass Grades Fail Grades**_

OUTSTANDING (O) POOR (P)

EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS (E) DREADFUL (D)

ACCEPTABLE (A) TROLL (T)

_**Lillian Jane Evans has achieved:**_

Ancient Runes………………….E

Astronomy………………………O

Care of Magical Creatures………E

Charms…………………………..O

Defense Against the Dark Arts….O

Herbology………………………E

History of Magic………………..A

Potions…………………………O

Transfiguration…………………E

Lily read through her results twice before her breathing returned to normal. She had done well, quite well, in fact, 9 OWLS was the best she could have hoped. She looked up from her parchment smiling in pride.

Mrs. Potter was pretending to be absorbed in making breakfast for the three teens, but in reality she was just as anxious for the three children, as they were for themselves. Therefore, when James tapped her gently on the shoulder, she could barely contain her own excitement to read her son's results.

**O****RDINARY ****W****IZARDING ****L****EVEL ****R****ESULTS**

_**Pass Grades Fail Grades**_

OUTSTANDING (O) POOR (P)

EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS (E) DREADFUL (D)

ACCEPTABLE (A) TROLL (T)

_**James Andrew Potter has achieved:**_

Arithmancy…..………………….O

Astronomy………………………O

Care of Magical Creatures………O

Charms…………………………..O

Defense Against the Dark Arts….O

Herbology………………………O

History of Magic………………..A

Potions…………………………A

Transfiguration…………………O

"Oh, Jimmy!" cried Jillian Potter. "I am so proud of you! Wait till your father gets home, he will be so proud!" James smiled meekly, slightly embarrassed by his mother's praise. He was not one who usually shied away from praise, however he wished he knew how Lily had done on her OWLS before his mother had proclaimed his to be so wonderful. If Lily had not done as well as she expected, James knew he could expect her temper to surface. It was not that she was a poor sport, quite the opposite. She would gladly rejoice with anyone who had done well, regardless of how she herself had done, if that person had worked hard for their marks. He knew, with the same certainty that she would resent anyone who could do well without lifting a hand to study, especially if that person had interrupted her own studying with his pranks, as he had done the past five years.

Lily watched as James tried in vain to shrug off his mother's praises. She could not understand that, James never hid from praise. She wished she could share her results with her own mother and have a similar moment, but that could not happen. She had not yet responded to her mother's letter, she knew her OWLS would not sway her mother's decision in the slightest. Yet, she still wished in vain that she could share this moment of triumph with her own family, instead of with a family she barely knew. For a moment she felt as if she might allow a single tear to drop from her eyes, but then James was standing in front of her. A hesitant look in his eyes, as he said something to her, with a great effort she pulled herself out of her own thoughts to respond to his unheard words.

"Sorry?" she said clearly confused.

"I said," James said speaking with exaggerated slowness as if speaking to someone with difficulty understanding English, "How did you do, Evans?" Lily rolled her eyes at Potter's sarcasm, before responding.

"Excellent, and you Potter?"

"Fabulous, of course, as if there was any doubt," James said returning to his usual swagger.

"Arrogant as ever, aren't we Potter?" Lily asked with mock surprise.

"It's not arrogance when you can back it up with raw talent, Evans." James said with a smile.

"James, honestly, can you show some modesty?" Jillian Potter said in a stern tone, one of the few times Lily had heard Mrs. Potter use such a tone on her only son. "Is he always this arrogant?" she asked turning towards Lily.

"Oh, he's worse, much worse." Lily said in a serious tone, though she had trouble keeping the smile off her face. She loved making Potter squirm.

"Hark, whose talking Miss Priss the Prefect!" James said with a smile at Lily.

"I am not a priss! Just because I follow the rules, does not mean I am prissy!" Lily said in anger.

"You're so beautiful when you're angry." James said in a blatantly flirtatious tone. This was his favorite part of his and Evans' exchanges. He loved getting her riled up and then saying something to knock her off balance. He loved to watch her blush in embarrassment at his words.

"Grow up, Potter." Lily said as she turned and marched out of the kitchen and outside to the Potter's backyard, where she sat on the patio by the pool.

"James, really, it's no wonder to me now why Lily spurns all your advances, if this is how you act in her presence. I know I taught my Jimmy to be a better gentleman than that!" Jillian addressed her son.

"I have a theory about that Mrs. P!" said Sirius with a smile in his voice.

"Oh not another theory!" said James with a mock tone of annoyance.

"Oh hush, James. I love Sirius Black theories. They are always so entertaining."

"Easy for you to say, they're not about you!" James said.

"You heard the woman, Prongs. Hush! Listen to the wise and all knowing Sirius Black as he shares his theory on the relationship of one James Potter and one Lily Evans. I believe that said Mr. Potter likes to upset said Miss Evans because it unleashes her fury on him. You see, Mrs. P, the lovely Evans is a very passionate young woman. It helps James imagine what she'd be like as a shag…"

"Ewwww Sirius please, first you tell me your theory on James's sexual energy and now you you're telling me about his imagined shagging of Lily! You're going to cause me nightmares!" Jillian Potter said with laughter in her voice. Perhaps it was that she was an older parent, perhaps it was her love of comedic moments in life, but she honestly was not bothered by her son and her adoptive son's frank honesty with her. She enjoyed it and the many laughs it provided.

"Dude! Padfoot seriously can you stop telling my mother about how I imagine shagging Evans!"

"Excuse me?" James felt his face flush as he turned around. Of course she was there; of course she had heard what he had said. He turned slowly to face her and hoped that the blush had left his face.

"If you'd like Evans, I could enlighten you about exactly what I imagine if you care to accompany me…" He got no further in his statement before Lily had drawn her wand and pointed directly at him.

"Go ahead, finish that offer Potter, I dare you. I warn you though, I am very good at shrinking charms." Lily's initial shock at Potter's words had vanished. She had handled Potter's overt sexual statements many times over the past years, and she could hold her own.

"Mum, aren't you going to save your son and your dreams of grandchildren?" James yelped, glancing at his mother.

"Oh, no Jimmy, don't come running to mummy now that you need help. You talked yourself into this; I'd like to see you talk yourself out. Lily dear, go right ahead I'd love to see him explain this at St. Mungo's"

"Mother," James said looking clearly outraged, "must you always take her side?"

"Thank you, Mrs. Potter," Lily said with a huge grin on her face, "I find it quite amusing Potter that your own mother doesn't want you to be able to reproduce."

"She knows she can get better looking grandkids from me, right Mrs. P?" Sirius said with a smile. He found this whole situation to be quite funny.

"Absolutely," said Jillian Potter with a laugh.

"I think that I will not finish that statement." James said.

"Good choice, Potter." Lily said with a knowing look. She had won this battle against Potter, and though she knew it would not be the last, she could manage hormonal teenage boys, especially Potter and Black.

Lily Evans sat at the desk in James Potter's room looking at the letter from her mother. She had still not opened the letter that had accompanied it; the first one had been so bad she was unsure she could face another one. Now, she could not put it off any longer. She had to read it, and respond to both. It had already been two days since they had arrived. Lily opened the second letter with a feeling of great trepidation.

Lily,

I know mother has written to you and is telling you to come home. This may surprise you, seeing as how we last ended things, but I agree. I have told you for years that the world you have insisted on living in is not the world for you. It is not for people like us. Perhaps it is the right world for people like that Snape, who have no future in the real world, but please Lily think of the types of people who you have been associating with. If you came home now, think of the life you could have! We could be best friends again, like we were before! I really have missed you, Lily, and the way things used to be. Please, see reason. When you come home in a few days, I know you will feel odd. It is only natural seeing as you have lived out of society for the past 5 years. Never fear, dear sister, I will help you make the transition. I have looked in to some correspondence classes for you that you can take from home to get your high school diploma in record time! Then you can come take classes part time with me at the University. Right now, for example, I am taking a secretarial course! Of course, once Vernon and I are married, there won't be any need for me to work, but it will still be nice to know that I can work if I have too. I realize it might be difficult for you to hear about Vernon and me. I hate to think I might be being insensitive to the fact that you must be hurting over the fact that you must say goodbye to that Potter boy. I could sense you two were growing quite close. Although really Lily, staying with him in his home without a chaperone from your own family! It is a good thing no one will know about that, what a scandal it would be! Don't worry darling, Vernon has many friends who I think would be just ideal for you! I can't wait for you to be home!

With Love,

Petunia

Lily looked at the page and half in front of her and did not know whether to be angry or sad. She too wished things could be the way they had been before, but not the way Petunia wanted them to be now. Did her sister know her at all? As if it was the pain of saying goodbye to James Potter that was keeping her in the magical world. "Please," she thought in frustration, "that could be a plus of any situation!" And even more infuriating was her sister's belief that any of that pig Dursley's friends could be "ideal" for her! "Yes rude and arrogant are just ideal for me!" she thought in a huff. Did no one in her family understand that she was a witch, that it was not something she could just give up like a bad hobby, it was who she was! No, this would end here! She pulled out a sheet of parchment and began to write, first the letter to her mother and then the letter to her sister.

Mother,

I know this letter is not the reply you want and for that I am sorry, but this is the only response I can give you. I am a witch. A very talented witch at that, I can charm objects to do things such as fly with just a wave of my wand, and I can brew potions and antidotes that you can't even begin to imagine. The magical world is not some temporary period in my life. I thought you understood that. I am a witch. I can do nothing to change that, and you should not ask me too. I cannot and will not give up magic as you wish. It is who I am. I am sorry that this causes you pain, but my response is no.

As for the war that is currently taking place in my world, I did not tell you because I did not want to worry you. Leaving Hogwarts does not put me in less danger; in fact it puts us all at a greater risk. It is imperative now more than ever that I know how to defend myself. I will not put you and daddy, and Petunia at risk by returning home and pretending to be a muggle. I love you very much and I am sorry this is not the response you hoped for.

Love Always and Forever,

Lily

She hoped she had been firm enough with her mother, because she could not bring herself to be harsh to her mother. As much as her mother's letter had wounded her, she could not bring the same pain to her mother. She took a deep breath and began her second letter.

Petunia,

You have no idea how much your letter meant to me. I have missed you so much and hope that my refusal to leave the magical world will not change your mind about us being close again. You are my sister and I love you so much! Surely though you can see it is the magical world that I belong too. I never fit in your world, you know that. I was always odd. I am where I belong now, and I will not leave. Please do not let this affect the desires you expressed in your letter. I love you so much and want to still be a family!

Lovingly yours,

Lily

She hoped beyond reason that her sister would not detract the feelings expressed in the letter, but she was not foolish. She knew most of Petunia's feelings were based off the belief she would be coming home. Now, that she was not coming home, nothing had changed. There was still one person connected with the letter from her mother with whom she still had to speak. She could no longer put off this most difficult confrontation and so she made her way downstairs to the study where Mr. and Mrs. Potter were both reading and James and Sirius were playing a game of wizard's chess.

"May I use your Floo? I need to see Andromeda, I'll only be gone for a few minutes." Lily said as she stepped in to the room.

"Of course, Lily what's ours is yours!" Mr. Potter said with a jovial smile. "James go show Lily where we keep the powder, and which fireplace is connected to the network!" James rose immediately from his chair, ignoring that Sirius' queen had just chopped one of his knights in half. He did not speak until they were in the other room that contained both the fireplace and the floo powder.

"Are you crazy?" he asked. "Why are going to see Andromeda? Don't you remember the things she said to you, to all of us the last time we were there?"

"How can I forget, Potter! It's not every day your friend accuses you of being responsible for her child's death! I need to speak to Andromeda, its none of your business why! I can take care of myself."

"I have no doubt of that, Evans. I've been on the receiving end of your wand." James said with a wry smile.

"Then hand me the floo powder so I can get on my way and get back!" Lily said. She wanted to get this over with before she lost her nerve and Potter was not helping matters.

"Let me go with you," James said suddenly earnest.

"I don't need a chaperone, Potter. I appreciate the offer, but no thank you."

"Now you're just trying to get rid of me," James said laughing at Lily's sudden switch to a conciliatory tone.

"You know me so well, Potter" Lily said with a wry smile. "Honestly James, I appreciate your concern, but this is something I need to do by myself." James shook his head in understanding and handed Lily the jar containing the floo powder. She threw it into the fireplace, stepped in herself, shouted her destination and was whooshed away to the home of Ted and Andromeda Tonks.

Lily stepped out of the fireplace and took a deep breath; this was going to be difficult. Part of her wished she had allowed Potter to come with her, he could have helped to keep her calm, but she had told him the truth, she had to do this by herself. Ted Tonks came rushing into the room, he had heard her arrive.

"Lily? What are you doing here? Is everything alright?" Ted asked looking alarmed at the sight of Lily.

"Everyone is fine, don't worry. I need to speak to Andromeda." Lily said her voice shook slightly but she would not back down.

"I'm not so sure if that's a good idea, Lily. You saw how she acted the last time you were here. I'm afraid she has not changed her views on anyone. The only people she spends any time with are me and Dora."

"I realize that Ted, but I need to speak to her." Lily heard the authority in her voice.

"Ted, you don't have to worry. I will speak to Lily if she needs to speak with me. I have been expecting her." Andromeda had entered the room silently and was now standing just a few feet from Lily. Ted still looked anxious but he nodded his head once and left the two former friends alone.

"It took you longer than I thought it would," Andromeda said with a faint smile.

"I thought it wise to calm down before I came," Lily said.

"Where's Potter? I'm surprised he let you out of his sight for even a second."

"I'm not James' charge. He doesn't have to keep an eye on me and I'm not here to talk about him anyway. How could you go to my family?"

"I know what it's like to lose a child. I knew you had told them nothing of the war. Your mother has a right to know that you are putting yourself in danger."

"Bullshit Andromeda! You know as well as I do that Hogwarts is the safest place anyone could be. You did it because you're angry with me, don't lie."

"I'm not that vindictive Lily Evans! Although I will say this, I wish you had stayed in the muggle world this summer. If you had you would have never gotten in my way and my child would still be alive."

"Andromeda, you know I never did anything to endanger your child. I know you're hurt and I know you're mad, but do not blame me for the death of your child."

"You are so selfish. 'It's not my fault Andromeda!'," Andromeda mimicked, "Grow up, Lily! Go Home! Go back to your muggle home and your muggle world and get out of mine! You mark my words Lily Evans, stay in this world at your own peril!"

"Are you threatening me?"

"Not at all, I'm merely warning you. I know the dark side; I'm related to half of them. I saw the insanity in my sister's eyes. It will get bad and it will get bad fast. James and Sirius will fall in the fight, I'm sure of that. If you continue on your path, you will too." Andromeda said.

"Last time I checked you got a T in Divination, but thanks for the warning. Leave my family out of this from now on, Andromeda."

"Goodbye, Lily Evans. Please do not return to my house again." Andromeda said as she watched Lily step back into the fireplace and floo away to the home of the Potter's.


	11. Chapter 11

Lily Evans sat in the Potter's study writing an essay for Potions. She had already written several pages past the requirement, but she wanted to cover every aspect of the assigned topic thoroughly.

"Hey Evans," Lily looked up from her paper to see James Potter standing in front of her wearing only a pair of swimming trunks. Lily's eyes roamed over James' lean arms and chest, his muscles were well developed from his quidditch training. Lily was suddenly reminded of the day in her bedroom when James had pressed her against the wall in a searing kiss. She had not thought of that day again, as it had been overshadowed by the events of the next day. Yet now she felt the sudden desire to allow James to once again press her up against the wall and kiss her, she wanted to feel his muscled arms around her, wanted to be pulled close to him, wanted to once again feel his lips on hers.

"Snap out of it!" she reprimanded herself. "Potter is the epitome of everything you detest. He is lazy, arrogant, and he constantly disregards the rules. Besides, the only interest he has in you is that you are the one girl who ever turned him down. If you were to give in to him you would just be another notch in his belt, just another conquest. You would go from being respected to just another slut."

"I said hey Evans!" James said more loudly. Lily had a slightly dazed look on her face. He would have liked to think that it was in reaction to him, but it could also be she was still absorbed in whatever she was working on.

"Oh sorry, I guess I just blanked out for a moment. Did you want something, Ja…Potter?" James' heart leapt in his chest. Maybe she had been staring at him. After all she had almost called him James.

"Sirius and I were going to go swimming."

"I gathered that based on your attire."

"Yeah, well I um or we um were wondering if you wanted to swim with us." He stated hopefully. Lily's judgment was suddenly engaged in a civil war of drastic proportions over James' offer. On the one hand this would allow her to spend more innocent time in the company of the shirtless James Potter; on the other hand this would only encourage the unacceptable fantasies currently developing in her mind.

"No, I should really finish this homework." Lily said trying to sound firm. James however, noted the unsure nature of her tone and decided to use it to his advantage.

"What's the matter? Scared, Evans?" He said with a wry grin.

"Scared? Yeah right, Potter. I'm not scared of the water."

"That wasn't what I was suggesting. I think you're afraid of me and how devilishly good looking I am. Admit it you're afraid you won't be able to keep from fucking me senseless. Don't feel bad, it's a problem lots of women have."

"You arrogant toerag," Lily said, clearly enraged. "You clearly cannot tell the difference between liking and loathing. Let me assure you Potter, I have no difficulty in refraining from 'fucking you senseless'".

"Whatever you say, Evans darling, I still think you're scared."

"Fine, I'll swim not because I want to but because I love proving you wrong!" Lily said enraged at Potter's behavior. This was exactly why she would not allow herself to sink into the trap in which plenty of other girls had fallen. James Potter was an insatiable, obnoxious, arrogant boy, who she absolutely detested.

James and Sirius splashed each other and used muggle water guns they had bought in a nearby muggle store to engage in an epic water battle. Lily watched the two boys from the window of James' room. Her nerves had gotten the best of her. No boys had ever seen her in so little clothes before. Her bathing suit was not overly revealing, in fact it was fairly modest. It was an ivy green simple bikini. It was several years old because, unlike Petunia who felt the need to buy a new bathing suit as a fashion statement every single year regardless of whether or not she would use it, Lily did not like shopping extravagances. She had bought it two years ago for her family's summer trip to the French Riviera and had not worn it since. Lily turned away from the window and returned to scrutinizing her reflection in the mirror. Petunia would have said that Lily's appearance in the bathing suit had drastically improved over the past two years, in fact most people probably would have agreed. Yet, Lily could not help feeling incredibly self conscious. The last time she had worn the bathing suit she had been a flat chested stick of a 14 year old girl, now however she wore a 34C size bra and her hips had filled out nicely. The bathing suit had always been big on her, so Lily supposed that this was how it was actually supposed to look, but that did not make her any more confident.

"I might as well just being wearing my bra and knickers," she said with a sigh. Besides her concern over showing too much skin in the presence of James and Sirius, there was also the concern of her skin itself. Her mother would say she was porcelain, Alice called her ivory, she thought they were all just nicer ways of stating the obvious: she was pale! She usually used other colors, such as green, to accent this feature in a positive way, but she could find nothing positive about such volumes of her paleness being displayed.

"Well, at least my hair looks good," she said with a defeated smile. She had put her long red hair into a high pony tail that accentuated her profile, and would hopefully allow the sun to light her hair nicely. Perhaps the golden quality of her hair in the sunlight would be enough to distract from her pale skin and her developed figure.

Sirius aimed a shot from the water gun directly at James' face, and to his delight it not only hit the distracted James directly in face, but he was so distracted that he seemed to not even notice.

James Potter felt the impact of the splash but he did not respond, for he only had eyes for the goddess that appeared before him. Lily had just appeared by the side of the pool and James could not help himself from gaping at her. Sirius shot another round of water at his face, probably trying to keep him from looking like a complete idiot, but James did not respond. This could be the only time he ever saw such beauty displayed and he wanted to absorb it all. Her beautiful hair glistened in the sunlight like a fire, her perfect skin stretched out before him like the most beautiful of white sandy beaches; her green almond shaped eyes sparkled even more than usual. It had not escaped his notice over the past year or so that Lily had grown from a child into a woman, but never had the evidence been so clear. Her prefect, round breasts were there in front of him, contained only by the pesky bathing suit. He could stare at her for hours.

Lily felt her face heat up as the blush crept up her face, but she could not help it. James was ogling her like she was something to eat. She thought of the looks he had given her in the common room over the past few years, which she had in her head described as looks of hunger, they were absolutely nothing compared to the look on his face now. His mouth hung open in what she assumed was surprised and his eyes roamed over her body as if he were trying to devour her. As soon as the shock of James' reaction wore off, the anger set in. How dare he look at her like she was a piece of meat! How dare he not even try and hide his obvious pleasure in seeing her like this! This was exactly why she detested Potter! Well, it was not the only reason why she detested Potter, he had given her plenty over the years, but it was definitely one of the reasons. He obviously did not see her or any other females as people; they were just a piece of ass to him. Some girls, well quite a lot of girls if all the rumors she had heard were true, might not have minded being treated like an object by James Potter and Sirius Black, but she would have none of it.

The familiar feelings of anger and of loathing for Potter filled her with confidence. Gone were her anxieties about her appearance, gone were the fleeting feelings of butterflies upon seeing him up close again without his shirt, gone were any doubts she had regarding her hatred of Potter. She was back in familiar territory and she would use it to her advantage, she would repay him for the way he had forced her into swimming and for the way he was now looking at her. She cleared her throat loudly which seemed at least to bring Potter out of his thoughts about her body. She marveled for a moment that the sound of her clearing her throat could do what Sirius and several shots of water to James' face could not do.

"Well that just proves how randy teenage boys only have a one track mind," Lily thought to herself. She cleared her throat once more and then she began.

"What's the matter, Potter?" she asked innocently, "Haven't you ever seen breasts before?" She said with a wicked smile playing on her lips. James stared at her, opening and closing his mouth wordlessly. He could not believe that little minx, why wasn't she embarrassed? Why had he allowed her to turn the tables on him? This was supposed to be his day to make her feel uncomfortable and make her realize how attracted she was to him. Now all he had managed to do was reinforce in her mind how attracted he was to her.

Sirius watched his friend with a look of disappointment and pity. James was acting like a 12 year old boy who had never seen a girl before. Sirius would have to intervene on his behalf.

"Oh, he's seen plenty of them, Evans!" Sirius called with a bark of laughter. The sound of his best friend's voice seemed to zap James brain back to life. He was James Potter, he had seen girls with a lot less clothes then Lily Evans was wearing now. Hogwarts had been his and Sirius' own personal playground in more ways than one. Yes, they were the schools biggest pranksters, but they also had a bevy of girls more than willing to do whatever they wanted. And here he was in his own backyard allowing Lily Evans to make a complete and utter ass out of him. Well no more! If she wanted to play he could play too, and win.

"Oh, that's right I forgot I am in the presence of Hogwarts biggest players." Lily said with a roll of her eyes.

"At your service," Sirius answered with a mock bow as James spoke up for the first time since Lily had arrived.

"None quite as lovely as the ones currently in front of me, though Padfoot," James said addressing Sirius.

"Oh, I'm flattered, Potter!" Lily said with a disdainful look. "You really know how to compliment a girl."

"You deserve it, my beautiful lady." James said with a grin. She was blushing again, he loved making her blush. "You have no idea how you're beauty affects me."

"Oh I think I do," Lily said with a smile. She would show him, stupid arrogant prat!

"Now, how could you possibly know that Evans, you're not inside my head?" James said.

"I don't have to be inside your head, Potter. I have eyes, and that thing protruding from your swimming trunks tells me all I need to know." Sirius could not help but let out a bark of laughter at Evans' words. She was good; he had to give her that. Lily watched in delight as James' eyes widened in shock at her words. James quickly attempted to hide the aspect of his anatomy that was causing his best friend and Lily so much delight, but in his meager attire it was impossible. He could not believe she had just referenced _that_ aspect of his anatomy again! This was twice in the two days! Since when did she do anything but yell at him? What had caused this new fighter to emerge? The part of him that loved to get her riled up was intrigued and if possible even more enamored by her than before, the part of him that liked to win and had always had in his opinion the upper hand was determined to regain control over the conversation.

"Well, Evans since my current predicament is your fault perhaps you could assist me with resolving it."

"My fault," Lily said. James had managed to catch her by surprise by his proposal. Her cool, calm composure that had held her steadfast throughout the past few minutes in her exchange with James wavered for a moment. "How is your predicament, did you call it, how is that my fault?"

"Let's look at the facts Evans. You place your gorgeous self right in front of my eyes and then my healthy teenage body responds because of your presence and you think it's not your fault!" James said the swagger evident in his voice; he would show that little minx.

Lily Evans glared at James Potter for a moment and then a smile broke out on her face. It was clear that Potter thought he had Lily beaten, well she would show him.

"You're absolutely right, James." Lily said smiling sweetly.

"I what," James said confused, he knew he was always right but she never admitted it. "Did you just admit that I am right?"

"Yes, you're completely right James! It is my fault that you're in a predicament right now and it's only right that I help you out with your little problem."

"You do? You are willing to um help me out with my little problem. Hey! What do you mean little problem? I can assure you Lily that there is nothing 'little' about my problem." James said. He was completely stunned by her offer but he would not waste time questioning her. His heart had begun to pound rapidly in his chest and he felt his member give an excited leap at Lily's offer.

"Sorry, I guess I had a Freudian slip there. Come on Potter, I don't have all day, get up here so I can help you out." James nearly flew up to where Lily was standing. He was wearing a stupid grin on his face that made him resemble a dog begging for a bone.

"Shall we go up to my room?" James asked excitedly.

"Yes I suppose we should. I do need to get my wand after all." Lily said with a smirk.

"Evans, why do you need your wand?" James said clearly confused.

"For the shrinking charm of course! You could not really believe that I would help you with that problem in any other way, Potter!" Lily said with a wicked grin. James' eyes grew wide in shock, she was good, and he had to admit that. However, while Lily Evans may have won this particular battle, James fully intended to win this war.

Lily Evans fell back on the bed with a burst of laughter. She had finally beaten James Potter. She had played the game of one upping with a horny teenage boy, and she had won!

"HA! Let that be a listen to that obnoxious git!" She was done with letting him embarrass her with his overt flirtatiousness and often time's crude behavior. For the past five years she had merely yelled at Potter, making her feelings of loathing clear, or she would simply ignore his overtures; but no more. She was a smart witty girl who could and would hold her own. If Potter insisted on his boorish behavior, she would ensure that it was he and not she who was embarrassed by the exchange.

James Potter paced the room he now shared with his best friend, Sirius. Sirius was lying on his bed thoroughly enjoying himself at James' expense.

"You should have seen your face mate! It was bloody hilarious," Sirius said laughing.

"Well what can you expect? She's never acted like that before! Rest assured my dear Mr. Padfoot, I will repay Evans in kind. She thinks she's won, well I'll show her."

"I never thought I'd doubt your scheming abilities my dear Prongs, but my money is on Evans this time."

"What do you mean you're money is on her? How can you bet against me? I'm your best friend!" James said incredulously.

"Easy, I saw your pathetic performance this afternoon." Sirius mimed James' open mouthed expression. "I thought flies were going to start nesting in your mouth, mate!"

"As I already explained, she caught me off guard!" James said.

"Even if I allowed for that excuse, my money is still on Evans."

"Why, damn it?" James asked becoming beleaguered.

"Evans has the upper hand. You, my dear Prongs, are limited in your weaponry."

"How am I limited?"

"There are some things you won't do. For example you could easily defeat Evans by using your cloak for any number of naughty activities."

"I am not going to be a voyeur! She would never forgive me for that!"

"Yes, and that would be creepy. Something I would expect from Snivelly, but this proves my point. You are limited because there is a line you will not cross in fear of permanently offending Evans. She has no limitations, in fact she would probably love to permanently offend you, and it would make you leave her alone."

"Ah, but I have a secret weapon." James said with a smile.

"What secret weapon?" Sirius asked.

"I am a marauder. I have you and okay well I have you, I doubt Remus would be willing to help in this endeavor, and what help would Pete be in this matter."

"If you get so desperate that we need Pete's advice on women, then you are irreparably damaged," Sirius agreed.


	12. Chapter 12

Lily Evans closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep. It had been a long day. She had received the replies from both her mother and sister earlier this morning. She tried in vain to block out the memory.

She had been sitting reading the Daily Prophet and talking about the latest news with Mrs. Potter. According to Mrs. Potter there had been two more disappearances the previous evening, but Lily could find nothing about it in the Daily Prophet. It took her twenty minutes of scouring through the paper to finally find the five lines dedicated to the disappearances.

The Ministry confirmed this morning that Mr. and Mrs. Theodore Fenwick were reported missing yesterday evening by their son, Benjamin "Benjy" Fenwick. Any clues as to their location are greatly appreciated. Please Contact the Auror Office with any details.

"I don't understand," Lily stated after reading the notice aloud. "Why isn't the Prophet making a bigger deal out of the disappearance? This is the third attack relating to Benjy Fenwick! First the attack on me at his store, secondly the attack on Andromeda at his store, and now his parents have gone missing! Can't they see that You-Know-Who must be after Fenwick for some reason? And furthermore Fenwick is a pureblood! I thought the Death Eaters were only interested in attacking people of my birth."

"I know darling," Jillian said in agreement. "The Prophet, to answer your question, is being leaned on heavily by the Ministry of Magic. They don't want people to realize how bad things really are, how little control they have over Voldemort and his Death Eaters. As for Benjy, I'm afraid these attacks, at least the attack on his parents, are an act of retribution. Voldemort is displeased with Benjy and many of his friends." Lily shivered as Mrs. Potter spoke the name. No one, it seemed, in the Potter household was afraid to use his name. She also noted that Mrs. Potter had quite a bit more information on the subject of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and his followers then the paper did. This was not the first time she had noticed this, and it was also not the first time she wondered if Mrs. Potter was somehow involved in the fight against You-Know-Who. The other times she had dismissed the idea as a silly idea, after all Mrs. Potter wasn't an auror! Now, however, she remembered a statement screamed at James, a statement she had been too distraught at the time to pay any attention too, but that now seemed critically important.

"Fenwick told me what was written on that list that was stolen. My child is dead because of your parents and their stupid friends, that fucking Order of the Phoenix. They made my child a martyr for their cause. And you're just like them, all about fighting for the cause. Already, begging Dumbledore to let you join up." Andromeda had said to James. What was the Order of the Phoenix? It sounded like it was a fighting organization of some kind, one James wanted to join. Like his parents. Andromeda had said James wanted to join like his parents. Mr. and Mrs. Potter were a part of a secret organization fighting You-Know-Who! That had to be it; it was the only thing that fit. With a sinking feeling Lily focused in on what Mrs. Potter had said about You-Know-Who being displeased with Benjy and his friends. His friends, surely Mr. and Mrs. Potter were not part of that group of friends. Fenwick must be working with multiple groups; she could not bear to think that Mr. or Mrs. Potter could be in danger as well.

Lily was just getting ready to ask Mrs. Potter what the Order of the Phoenix was, when the owl arrived carrying the responses to her letters. Her questions for Mrs. Potter would have to wait. She excused herself and made her way up stairs to read her letters in the privacy of her room. The first letter she opened was from her mother.

Lily,

You're response to our order has displeased both your father and I greatly. Yet, we realize that there is not much we can do to make you follow our instructions. You are no longer a little child and as much as we may like to be able to dictate your every move, we recognize we no longer have that power. You will always be welcome in our home and we will always love you.

Mother

Lily sighed with relief. It was the best she could have hoped for. She reached toward the second letter, her feeling of dread mounting again, and opened the letter from her sister.

Lily,

How can you be so ungrateful to the people who raised you? Mother wept for a full day upon receiving your response! How dare you profess your love for me, when in reality you are the same spiteful brat you always were! As far as I am concerned I do not have a sister.

Petunia

Lily could not pretend the words did not hurt, but she had expected them. There was nothing more she could do, but try and accept that she and her sister would not be close again.

Lily turned to her other side in the bed, trying to make her brain shut off so that she could get some sleep. It was at that moment she heard the light knock on her door.

She jumped up and made her way to the door, wondering who could need to speak with her at this late hour.

"Of course," she sighed inwardly. "Potter, who else would have enough nerve to disturb someone at this time of the night," she thought. She noted with annoyance that he was once again shirtless. "Damn him," she thought," can't he just wear clothes!"

James Potter looked Lily Evans up and down. She appeared to have been asleep or at least in bed, his bed. Her hair was messy and she was wearing a pair of pink pajama shorts and a white tank top. James thought she looked stunning. He could not allow himself to think about that though. Nor could he allow himself to imagine how her hair would look if she permitted him to snog her for hours and run his hands through all her glorious hair. No, James could not allow himself to think of those things right now. He was here for a reason; he was a man on a mission.

"Can I come in, Evans?" James asked.

"It is your room," she said with a grimace as she stepped aside to allow him entrance. "What is so important that you have to visit me at this late hour, Potter?" She asked.

"I just needed to talk to you, hear your beautiful voice Evans." He said. He took a step toward her and as he had hoped, she took a step back from him. His plan was working perfectly.

"Couldn't your idiocy wait till morning, Potter?" Lily asked. She was trying hard to keep her voice even; she would not let him have the satisfaction of getting her riled up.

"Nope, I missed you too much. I had to see that gorgeous face!" He took another step towards her and she took another step back.

"I thought it was my beautiful voice?" She said in a dry voice.

"It was your beautiful everything." He said and he took another step closer to her. She took a step back and felt her back hit the wall. He continued to step towards her as he spoke, "It was your fantastic hair that always smells so bloody wonderful, your body that enchants my dreams every night, your lips that call to me, begging me to kiss them."

Lily wanted to reply that he was wrong, that no part of her was begging him to kiss her, but she was suddenly aware of just how close they were, of how little clothes they were both wearing, of how if she merely tilted her head up another centimeter her lips would be on his. He was so close, so very close. She remembered once again when he had pushed her up against the wall of her bedroom and kissed her. How just last week she had wanted him to kiss her again, wanted to feel him pressed against her. She realized with both a jolt of panic and excitement that she was mere seconds away from that fantasy coming true. He could kiss her right now, it certainly seemed like that was his plan. Her heart sped up with the possibility. Her mind raced at the idea. Her imagination soared ahead of the kiss. They were here, alone in his bedroom. Anything could happen. Her brain told her to push him away, make him leave. She could not and would not be just another tart.

He lifted her face up gently in one hand and began to trace her features with his other hand. Her mind was screaming at her to make him stop but her body was acting of its own accord. Her face pressed itself further into his hands. Her body moved closer to his, her lips parted in open invitation.

James took a deep steadying breath. He had underestimated this task. How difficult it was to not kiss her at this very moment, take her in his arms as she so clearly wanted him to do. He tried to capture this image in his mind; he did not want to forget it. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek gently, before moving to her ear. He allowed himself to indulge for just a moment and he gently kissed and nibbled on her ear. He heard her sigh and felt her move even closer to his body.

"I just need to tell you one thing," he whispered in her ear.

"Yes?" she prompted in a breathy voice. Her breathing had become quite heavy and haggard.

"Game on Lily Evans" he breathed as he began to pull away. Her eyes shot open and her brain was once again in control.

"You arrogant prat!" she screamed not caring who she woke up. Luckily James foreseeing this moment had cast a silencing charm over the room before he had entered. "I hate you James Potter! If you think I was ever going to let you kiss me you were wrong! I was just waiting until I could grab my wand and hex you into oblivion!"

"Whatever you say, Evans darling" James said with a smirk. "Good night love, sleep tight." He said as he made his way out the door and closed it gently behind him.

Lily seethed with rage, not just at Potter but at herself. How dare he come in here in the middle of the night and try and seduce her! What was the matter with her clinging to Potter like a dog in heat? Ugh! She hated Potter! She could tear him to pieces, rip him apart limb by fucking limb!

"Stupid smartass," she said out loud. "He thinks he has me beat. Well I'll show that arrogant pompous ass of a boy!"

She did not sleep the rest of the night, she planned her revenge. She looked up charms in her text book, she took avid notes, she dug through her bag of makeup until she found her favorite fragrance, and then at seven the next morning she put her plan into action.

James Potter strutted back to the room he shared with Sirius a dumb grin playing on his face. Sirius sat up waiting for him to return.

"Well?" Sirius asked. It had taken him a week to come up with a plan that James would agree to, if James had managed to mess this one up, Sirius would make him figure something out on his own.

"Went perfectly," James said with a smile, "Padfoot you are a genius!"

"I know that. Everyone seems to think you and Moony are the brains of the operation, well this just proves that not only am I the 'cute one' and the 'funny one' but I am also the 'smart one'"

"Who said you were the 'cute one'" James asked laughingly.

"All the girls, they all like me better." Sirius said with a smirk.

"Aren't you just the big DOG on campus?" James said sarcastically.

"I am a dog, even with the ladies!"

The two best friends fell asleep laughing about each of their trysts with different girls at Hogwarts. It seemed to James like he had only been asleep for a few minutes when he was awoken by the most curious of things. A piece of paper that had obviously been charmed was batting him over the head to wake him up. He hesitantly reached for the paper and unraveled it to find a note addressed to him. He noticed immediately that the paper smelled like Lily and he wondered fleetingly if she had sprayed it with perfume.

James,

I thought about you all last night. I woke up early this morning so we could have some time alone. I want to pick things up where we left off last night. If you are interested I will be in the shower when you get this.

Xoxo

Lily

James jumped out of his bed. He could not believe it! Lily wanted him and she wanted him now! He took a deep breath to keep his heart from jumping out of his chest. His plan had worked. He knew if he could just get through to her then she would realize the connection between them. He looked in his mirror to check his appearance. He ruffled his hair until it was perfect in its "I just got off a broom and I'm sexy" glory. He pondered whether or not he should put on more clothes besides his pair of red and gold boxers, but reasoned that if Lily was asking him to meet her in the shower; she was not expecting him to be clothed for long. James popped a breath mint in his mouth and then he set off down the hall towards the restroom where he heard the shower already running.

The room was filled with steam and he took a deep breath inhaling the scent of Lily's various fragrances. It smelled like Lily. He could see her silhouette through the shower curtain. He took a moment to imprint the image in his mind. He wanted to remember the moment forever.

"Evans, you beautiful thing, I've been waiting for this day forever", James called out to Lily.

"Potter," Lily called back, "you are still wearing far too many clothes!" James tore off his boxers and pulled back the shower curtain to join Lily. Only Lily wasn't naked, Lily was still fully clothed in pajamas. She had cast an impervious charm around her to keep the part of the shower she was sitting in completely dry, and the outline James had thought to be hers was nothing more than a shadowy figure that vanished when James opened the curtains.

"Stupefy!" Lily cried as she raised her wand. James had no chance at dodging the spell. She had caught him by complete surprise. She had managed to stun him while he was completely naked in his own bathroom. She was surprisingly good at planning and pulling off pranks, considering she had spent the last 5 years trying to thwart his pranks. "Sorry about this, James, but you did bring this on yourself. Don't worry, you won't be stuck like this for too long, you're parents or Sirius will find you when they wake up. Oh, but it is a Saturday so you might have to wait a little bit longer, your parents do like to sleep in on the weekend." Lily gave him a fleeting grin before turning off the bathroom light and going back to bed.

Sirius Black awoke with a start. He really needed the loo. He got up quietly, not wanting to wake James. It was then he realized James was not in his bed. This did not concern him, James often times would wake up in the early morning hours and have trouble going back to sleep. He tended to go down to the kitchen and drink some milk before returning to bed, Sirius assumed that was where he was now.

Sirius walked sleepily into the bathroom and stopped suddenly. He had to be sleep walking, he could not be awake, and therefore he must be dreaming. However, for the life of him he could not imagine why he would be dreaming about his best friend frozen in front of him like a statue, like a completely naked statue. Sirius rubbed his eyes willing the image to go away; James was still there. He turned off the bathroom light and turned it back on; James was still there. No, he was not imagining it; James was seemingly frozen in front of him completely naked. Sirius burst out laughing.

"Prongs, how in the bloody hell did you get yourself into this mess?" Sirius said his voice shaking with laughter. Sirius realized of course that James could not answer him; he just enjoyed teasing his best friend. "Don't worry Prongs; Sirius will get you out of this mess. First though, I think your mum and dad have a right to see their sonny." Sirius stuck his head out the door. He could see from the light in the master bedroom that Mr. and Mrs. Potter were awake.

"Hey, Mr. and Mrs. P, you might want to come see what James has gotten himself into this time!" Both of the Potters emerged from their bedroom and walked toward where Sirius was standing, the sight before them forced both of them to stop in their tracks. They looked at each other and then returned their glance to their son. Both began to laugh hysterically.

"Oh James," Mr. Potter said with a sigh after he had stopped laughing. "What did you do to get yourself in this fix? Sirius I suppose you better fix him before Lily wakes up and sees him like this."

"Oh, Mr. P I think Lily has already seen him like this!" Sirius said with a laugh. Both Mr. and Mrs. Potter turned their heads quickly to look at Sirius. A look of comprehension dawned on Sirius' face as he realized the way his response could be taken.

"Not like that! I only meant I think Lily is the one responsible for this."

"I agree," Mrs. Potter said with a smile. "I knew I liked that girl! She's a firecracker! I think he's met his match with this one. Come on darling, let's go start breakfast. Sirius, change him back when you get the chance, will you honey?"

"You bet, Mrs. P!" Sirius said with a laugh.

Severus Snape gazed thoughtfully at the book on his lap. It was an album of pictures, pictures of him and Lily. The first was taken their first week at Hogwarts. The picture versions of Lily and Severus smiled and waved up at the present day version of Severus, caught in a happy moment for all eternity.

He remembered with absolute clarity the day that picture was taken. It had been a Friday afternoon and both he and Lily had been filled with joy at having completed their first week of classes at Hogwarts. He remembered the exact way the sun had fell on her hair, how her hair was aglow with golden flecks amidst the sea of red. She had looked absolutely stunning. He remembered how the simple embrace of her wrapping her arms around his shoulder for the picture had caused tingles down his spine and butterflies to erupt in his stomach.

He flipped to the next page of the photo album. It was a picture of a sour looking Lily who had been caught off guard by the flash of the camera. It had been the night of the Halloween Feast. Lily had been so excited by the prospect of celebrating Halloween with real witches, wizards, and ghosts. A fact Severus teased her about at the time, seeing as she was a witch herself, but secretly thought was rather adorable. She had been sick with a cold during the days leading up to the feast, but she had steadfastly refused to miss it. She was horribly upset with Severus when he had snuck up behind her to take this picture of her.

"Sev!" she had admonished, "How can you take a picture of me looking so awful? My nose is as red as my hair, my eyes have swollen puffs under them from the constant watering, and lips are terribly chapped!" Severus laughed as remembered her words and as he looked at the picture version of Lily he recognized the truth in some of her words. Her nose was red, the bags under her eyes were so swollen you could barely see her green eyes, and her lips had dried blood in them because of the dried skin, but Severus did not see anything about her that looked awful. In his eyes she looked as stunning as ever.

With a sigh he turned the page, but it was a drawing and not a picture that met his eyes. In red and green markers Lily had drawn a picture of Father Christmas and written in decorative letters, "Happy Christmas Severus!" He had decided to remain at Hogwarts during that first Christmas, preferring to be alone than be faced with his constantly feuding parents. Lily had sent a note for every day of break when she was at home, worried about Severus being alone. The card, that he was currently looking at, had arrived on Christmas morning; an eleven year old girl's gift for her best friend.

The next picture had been taken over the summer between their first and second years. Lily had forgotten her sunscreen and her ivory skin had been burned to a crisp. She and Severus had been swinging on the swings at the playground, their playground, the entire day. They had taken the picture of themselves at the end of the long day as they were preparing to go their separate ways. Severus had placed his arm lightly around Lily's shoulder and she had grimaced just as the flash of the camera went off. Severus had been momentarily horrified that it was a reaction to him, until Lily clarified that her shoulders were in pain due to the sunburn.

Severus angrily pushed away the picture album as he pushed back the tears threatening to fall. He was Severus Snape, one of the chosen few by Lord Voldemort, he would not cry over some girl. He repeated this over and over in his head trying to force the other voice in his head to shut up. However, it seemed the other voice in his head, the one that declared, "Lily was never just some girl", would never be completely silent.


	13. Chapter 13

Lily Evans finished packing the rest of her belongings into her trunk and heaved a sigh of relief. Tomorrow was September 1st; tomorrow she would be returning to Hogwarts. The past few weeks had been miserable. She and James had ended their battle of wills in a silent truce; they had said barely three words to each other since the morning Lily had left him naked and stunned in his bathroom. Lily, in all honesty, was glad for the silence. She had become increasingly uncomfortable with the casual relationship between herself and Potter. She still had not forgiven herself for her lapse in self control that night in his bedroom and the wounds of that night still stung. For a brief moment over the summer Lily had allowed herself to believe it possible that James Potter had genuinely cared for her. Sirius had made it seem like James had been truly concerned for her well being after the attack on her, she herself had seen the concern in his eyes during her confrontation with Andromeda, and he had opened his home to her this summer when she did not have anywhere else to go. Lily had even begun during that brief encounter in his bedroom, before he had revealed his real intentions, to wonder what it would be like to be James Potter's girlfriend. She shuddered at the thought now. He had seemed so eager to kiss her, and she had in that moment wanted nothing more than to feel his lips on hers and to have him hold her in her arms. But that was not what James Potter wanted; James Potter was a pig. Lily had always known this and she was furious with herself for ever allowing herself to forget. In that moment when he pulled away from her in his bedroom and whispered those words to her Lily knew she had always been right, James Potter never really cared about her, she was just another piece of ass to him. The only difference between her and the rest of the girls he had pursued was that she had said no.

Lily felt the hot tears flowing from her eyes and cursed herself inwardly for allowing him to get to her once again. She hated that the idea that James Potter might have fancied her had made her feel special, and now she was just another schmuck who had allowed the arrogant bastard to manipulate her.

Well, she would never allow it to happen again! She took a deep steadying breath. She was Lily Evans , she was one of the top students in her year, she was a Prefect, she was reasonably good looking, she was fun, and outgoing and she would be damned if she let James Potter manipulate her. She would not allow her brief moment of weakness to topple her life. She was in control and she would make damn sure he knew it.

James Potter gazed out the window of the Hogwarts Express at the passing countryside. He wished something or someone would distract him from his thoughts that were currently revolving around a red headed girl who was both enchanting and infuriating. Usually he and his three best friends would spend the entire trip planning a prank. However, the full moon had been less than a week ago and Remus needed all the rest he could get before school started tomorrow. Therefore, Sirius and Peter were playing a muggle card game, which seemed to be endlessly entertaining to Peter and endlessly boring to Sirius, and James was left to stew in his thoughts.

He loved and hated Lily Evans. He loved her spunk, ingenuity, kindness, wit, and passion. He hated that she made him want to be a different person, someone that was worthy of her. He hated that she had made a fool of him more times than he cared to remember, and most of all he hated her because it was impossible for him to actually hate her; he loved her more than anything.

"Prongs, would you mind leaving the land of Evans fantasies and joining us in reality!" Sirius called in mock annoyance. James had failed to notice that Remus was now awake and that his three best friends were now engaged in conversation. Of course they would notice his cognitive absence. Peter laughed sycophantically and Remus gave James an understanding smile.

"I wasn't fantasizing about Evans!" James said with a shrug.

"Please! You've done nothing but brood since she stupefied you naked" Sirius smirked. Remus burst out laughing at the mention of this particular incident. Sirius had immediately owled Remus about the James and Lily war of wills, in fact he had owled Remus before he released James from the charm. Peter, as usual, was completely clueless.

"Wait? What happened?" Peter asked in his wheezy voice.

"Lily got James naked and then she stunned him," Remus supplied knowing that James would not want Peter knowing the entire story.

Lily Evans sat in her compartment Alice talking over the events of the summer.

"Come on Lil!" Alice exclaimed, "I was lucky if I could glean a scrap of information from your letters! Do you honestly expect me to believe that _nothing_ interesting happened the entire time you were living with James Potter and Sirius Black?"

"Well sure some things happened, Ali," Lily conceded, "I'm just saying that it was nothing all that interesting. Can we please talk about something else? It's bad enough that I've had to put up with Potter for the past two months, do I really have to spend the entire train ride answering questions about him?" Lily snapped. Alice looked questioningly at her best friend for a moment. She had known Lily for six years and her instinct told her that Lily was hiding something. However, Alice knew Lily well enough that if she pushed her too hard she would clam up and never talk about it ever again. Therefore, Alice would be forced to wait until Lily was ready to discuss the matter.

Both girls looked up as Alice's boyfriend, Frank, entered the compartment.

"Lily Evans I'm disappointed in you," Frank said in a tone of mock indignation.

"Disappointed in me?" Lily asked, clearly confused. "About what, Frank?"

"Don't act all innocent Miss Evans," Frank said grinning broadly now, "I heard all about how you stunned James Potter naked in his bathroom and left him there…"

"What!" both Lily and Alice screamed.

"Who told you that?" Lily asked the blush creeping up her face. This was her worst fear. James had obviously told everyone about everything that had happened over the summer. Who knew how many people had heard about her practically clinging to James begging him to have his way with her. She was mortified.

"How did you not tell _me_ that?" Alice exclaimed looking from Lily to Frank in shock.

"Frank," Lily asked ignoring her friend, "who told you that?"

"Relax, Lily it's nothing to be embarrassed about! No one could blame you. It was rotten of Potter to try and sneak up on you like that in the shower. Anyone would have stunned him."

"I…what?" Lily asked now looking even more befuddled. Frank stared at Lily's bemused expression for a moment before launching in to the entire story.

"I went down to hang out with the marauders for awhile, find out how there summers were and everything. Peter was real excited trying to find out something that James had told the other boys but not him. Apparently, Remus had let it slip about you stunning James and Peter was beside himself trying to get the details. Sirius finally couldn't hold it in anymore and he burst out laughing and started to spill some big elaborate story about you and James. I don't even remember it, something about you two trying to outdo each other, you know Black he loves to exaggerate. Anyway James looked really uncomfortable for a second and then he told Sirius to shut up making things up and he confessed the real story. He said he heard you in the shower and decided to surprise you so he stripped and ran in there and you understandably stunned him and left him there until someone else found him."

"Did you really?" Alice asked gazing at Lily in awe. "I can't believe you didn't tell me this! Why didn't you tell me this?"

"I…" Lily faltered, "I guess I just didn't want to embarrass him anymore than I already had." Alice watched her best friend for a moment before replying.

"That's awfully nice of you. If it was me and someone tried to sneak up on me in the shower, I would stun him and I'd sure toy with the idea of shrinking his privates. Oh, and I'd be sure everyone knew about it."

"Good to know," Frank said with a grimace.

"Yup," Alice said with a twinkling smile, "consider yourself warned, Longbottom!"

Lily felt herself relax as she listened to Alice and Frank's flirtatious banter. She was going back to Hogwarts and everything would be okay. She would avoid Potter like the plague and try and forget everything about the summer. Yes, if she could do that everything would be just fine.

The sorting had always bored Severus Snape. He passed the time by watching her, his Lily. He had heard the rumors, heard that she had stunned Potter while he was naked. He wasn't sure if he found this story to be hilariously funny, or if the idea of her and Potter being involved in anything so intimate was too painful to ever be considered remotely funny.

Potter, the arrogant, evil, pompous asshole, Severus hated him more than anyone else. Severus repressed the urge to hex Potter's eyes right out of their sockets as he watched James Potter's eyes flicker down to where Lily was sitting with that mouse of a girl, Alice Fortescue. Lily seemed to become aware of Potter's unyielding gaze and she flushed red. Severus loved that blush. He hated that it was Potter who had seemed to cause it.

The sorting had always bored James Potter. He passed the time by watching her, Evans. He could have cursed Peter, egged on he suspected by Sirius, for spreading the tale around the Hogwarts Express of James being attacked by Lily. Of course, Sirius had wanted to entire, true story to be told, but James with Remus' help had restrained him. It would have been easier, less embarrassing, for him to have everyone know the real story. The entire story of everything that had happened between him and Lily over the summer, but his mother had raised her son to be a gentleman, well sort of. He wouldn't let Lily be embarrassed about what had happened between them, it would stay between the two of them, and Sirius and Remus.

Snivelus, the greasy, slimy, git, James hated him. He deserved to have his eyes hexed shut for the way he was looking at Lily. He looked at her like he owned her, it gave James the heebie-jeebies. Snape was a freak and an evil freak. A freak that had hurt Lily caused physical harm to her. James would be damned if he ever allowed that bastard to harm Lily again. Lily blushed scarlet. Merlin, James loved that blush. He wondered if it was because of the way Snape was looking at her. He really should hex that git.

The sorting had always fascinated Lily Evans, much to Alice's amusement. She loved learning the names of all the new Gryffindors and offering them any help she could. She was a prefect after all, it was her duty. However, right now she was thoroughly annoyed because she was able to give her full and undivided attention to the sorting. She could feel their eyes boring into her and it made her blush. She hated how easily she blushed. It didn't make it any better that Alice kept whispering to her a running play-by-play of when both Severus and Potter were looking at her. She wished they would both stop embarrassing her and grow up and pay attention to the sorting instead of her.

Lily Evans threw herself down on her bed. She hated him! Damn James Potter! He had already ensured that her first day of the new term was a bad one. Not only that, he had managed to cause her first detention…ever! She grew angrier and angrier every time she thought about it.

Transfiguration had been her last class of the day. A class she had always enjoyed, even if it was more difficult and she had to work harder at it than her favorites of charms and potions. She took a seat across the aisle from Alice and Frank and was talking to them when she saw them, both of them.

Severus had always sat by her in Transfiguration, it had been the very first class they had during their first year and they'd sat together ever since. James had always sat next to Sirius, directly in front of Alice and Frank. Remus and Peter had sat across from them, directly in front of Lily and Severus. Sirius, Remus, and Peter had already taken their seats, saving James, who was running late, his usual seat.

Yet now they were looking right at each other, James and Severus. They had entered the room just seconds apart from each other, Potter moments behind Severus. Lily watched as Potter hesitated for a moment, watching Severus. He seemed to realize where Severus was heading, towards Lily, and James sped up. At the same moment Severus hesitated for one brief second as if wondering whether Lily would really want him sitting by her after everything that had happened over the summer, and in that one moment it was too late. James took the seat next to Lily, to the surprise of everyone in the room.

Lily had stiffened next to James. She couldn't very well ask him to move, it would make it look like she wanted to sit by Severus, but if she didn't ask Potter to move it would make it look like she wanted him there. She could hear the whispers erupt around her, everyone watching her and Potter. They had heard the rumors, knew she had spent the summer with James, and now they saw her and James sitting side by side.

Severus had stood watching in shock, waiting and hoping Lily would make James move, praying that his Lily, his girl, his best friend, would make James Potter move out of his chair, his rightful place at her side. She just sat there. He felt like he was losing control. Potter was taking over his life.

"Move," Severus growled at James.

"Is there a sign I didn't see that makes this your seat, Snivelly?" James asked sarcastically.

"I don't see one, James" Peter volunteered helpfully.

"I said move!" Severus demanded.

"Why should I?" James had challenged.

"Get away for Lily, Potter!"

"Oh, so this is about Evans?" James asked.

"You know damn well what this is about!"

"Both of you shut up!" Lily's face was blood red with embarrassment.

"Make him move, he doesn't belong there. I won't let him be there next to you!" Snape roared. He had taken on the appearance of a person who having been tortured had lost his mind. James seemed to recognize Lily's increasing embarrassment, recognizing she would probably agree to anything to make this spectacle end, he took his chance. He reached his arm out around her and pulled her close to him.

"Well, Lil _darling_," he said placing special emphasis on 'darling', "it's up to you. Do you want me to move, _love_?" Lily was enraged by this point, and she would have loved to hex Potter's hand right off her shoulder, but more than anything she wanted this to be over. So she took a deep breath, and Merlin help her she played along.

"No, Jimmy," she said with a wicked grin. She had learned over the summer just how much he hated that name. "You can stay there, _darling_." She ignored Sirius and Remus' muffled laughter at the look on James' face when she had called him Jimmy. She tried to ignore the shocked faces and whispers that surrounded her. She tried to ignore it all, and she fixed a sweet smile on her face, even though there was nothing sweet about the look in her eyes. If Potter was smart he would run far away before she hexed him into oblivion after class.

Her embarrassment heightened as she heard the door slam shut behind her, Professor McGonagall had entered the classroom.

"Mr. Snape, why are you simply standing in the middle of my classroom? There are several empty seats; I suggest you find one of them." Severus, however, did not seem ready to give up.

"Potter's in my seat," he whispered mutinously. Professor McGonagall pursed her lips and her eyes flared with anger, a warning sign.

"I see," she said angrily, "10 points from Slytherin for this little temper tantrum, Mr. Snape. Now, take your seat and leave Mr. Potter and Miss Evans alone!"

If everything had ended there it would have been bad enough, but alas it was not over yet. As Professor McGonagall began their lesson, Lily was very aware of the fact that James had not moved his arm. She was aware of the eyes of the majority of their classmates flickering between them and McGonagall. She had to do something to make this stop.

"Move your hand," she whispered in James' ear.

"Oh come on Lily dear, they all already think we're together anyway. Might as well make it official, go out with me Evans."

"How many times do I have to tell you Jimmy, not in a million years!" she whispered back.

"That's not very nice, baby. I mean is that anyway to thank your hero?"

"My hero" Lily challenged. "You think I should thank you? For what exactly should I be thanking you, Potter?"

"I saved you from having to sit next to that slimy git. Unless you wanted to sit by your favorite Death Eater," Potter had challenged.

"Go to hell, Potter and while you're at it move your damn hand."

"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans, I'm so sorry to interrupt your lovers' quarrel but if you don't mind I have a class to teach. I'm afraid you both are distracting the rest of my students who are trying to listen to all three of us. I must ask you both to continue your dispute outside and you can both report to my office at seven o'clock tonight for your detentions."

Lily laid her head down on the pillow of her bed and heaved a dry sob. Her first day of the term had only gotten worse since then. Her first detention wasn't as bad as she had imagined it would be, after all McGonagall was fair. She had assigned her and James to clean up her classroom and organize some projects the first years were going to begin working on in the coming weeks. The problem was Potter. He was always the problem. Professor McGonagall had given them their work assignment and then left them to it. Lily thought it could have been more aptly described as leaving her to Potter's torture. That was her punishment, an hour of uninterrupted James Potter.

"So, darling how about giving your boyfriend a kiss," James had teased.

"Potter, you are not my boyfriend and you never will be so just go on and give up!"

"Oh come on Evans. Everyone thinks we're dating after today any way. We might as well."

"We might as well? I'm not one of your little tarts that you can just decide to date as an afterthought! Get it through your thick skull, Potter! I am not and will not ever be interested in dating you." James had flushed red for a moment and then he fought back, and he fought back dirty. He took a step toward Lily, invading her personal space for what seemed like the millionth time in the past few months.

"That's funny; I seem to recall you being more than interested in me over the summer. Or have you forgotten our little rendezvous in my bedroom over the summer?" James asked in a harsh whisper against her ear. Lily felt the blush heating her face. How dare he bring that up! How dare he humiliate her and then bring it up to rub her face in it again, now. She felt her eyes burn with tears, but she would not cry, not in front of him.

"That's weird because what I remember is you barging in on me in the middle of the night and trying, and failing I might add, to seduce me."

"Oh, I didn't fail," James challenged. "You wanted me just as much as I wanted you that night." Lily felt her breath hitch in her chest. Her heart, no not her heart she refused to allow her heart to have anything to do with Potter, but she felt something ache. He was worse than she thought. Not only was he bringing up her moment of complete mortification, he had the gall to pretend to have the same feelings she had had for him at that moment.

"Fuck off, Potter." She waved her wand and the room began to clean itself. She pushed James away from her and had stomped off, leaving her calling after her.

She had run off towards the common room with tears streaming down her face, she had run directly into Severus Snape.

"Lily? What's wrong? Are you crying? Is it Potter? Did he hurt you; if he did I'll hex him into next year."

"Don't talk to me," Lily had snapped as she continued to walk. He had grabbed her arm.

"Lily, I'm sorry about today. I should have let it go. I know it embarrassed you. It's just you know how much I hate him."

"Sev, you made your choice a long time ago, I can't pretend like you didn't."

"I said I was sorry, Lil! Please you have to believe me. I…I… I love you, Lily!" He had said and then before she had a chance to respond he was kissing her. Her brain had seemed to stop functioning, Severus loved her. Somehow she thought she had always known that, but had not wanted to realize it. Maybe it was that, maybe it was her own sense of rejection by Potter, maybe it was because she had always loved Sev, though not in the way he loved her, but loved him all the same. No matter the reason, she suddenly found herself kissing him back.

James Potter watched as Lily Evans stormed out of the classroom. He knew he shouldn't have let her get to him, he knew he shouldn't have used such a low blow against her, but sometimes it just got to be too much. Sometimes all her indifference was far too difficult to deal with. Sometimes he needed to pretend that she really had wanted him that night, that it hadn't all been a game to her. He needed to believe, sometimes.

He waited a moment while the cleaning charms she had conjured finished their work. McGonagall had said they could leave when they were done, if it was not done to her satisfaction she would merely force them back another night this week. He pulled out the map he and his friends had made at the end of the previous year and whispered, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good". The map appeared and his eyes swept over it looking for his three best friends, intending to go join them at whatever mischief they were involved in. However, it was something else that caught his eyes. Lily. That slimy git, Snape, was bothering her again. He had cornered her no doubt, as she walked back from detention. He would show that slimy git.

James set off at a run, he was annoyed with Lily, but he'd be damned if he allowed that damn death eater to harm Lily again.

He skidded to a stop as he rounded the corner. Lily and Snape, kissing. He felt his heart hammer in his chest. He waited for it to come halting to a stop, he waited for his heart to burst open. It certainly seemed like it was going to stop beating forever. He felt the anger flush through him. He felt betrayed.


	14. Chapter 14

James Potter slammed the dormitory door behind him. He could not believe that Lily could kiss that evil, slimy git.

"Whoa, Prongs what's up?" Remus asked concernedly.

"It's obvious isn't it, Moony?" Sirius said with a laugh, "He just had his detention with Evans."

"That's not it," Peter said confidently.

"Excuse me?" Sirius said turning to look at Peter. "Wormtail, do you know something we don't?"

"Well that's not his normal 'Lily-fight' face. That's his 'hurt and angry' face." Peter said.

"Can you all please stop talking about me like I'm not right here in front of you?" James snarled angrily.

"Ooh good call, Wormy. He's definitely angry." Sirius added to his running commentary of James' actions. James made a lunge at Sirius as if he were going to tackle him. He would have had Remus not grabbed him from behind.

"Breath James, we're sorry for being assholes aren't we Sirius?" Remus said with a glare toward Sirius. "We shouldn't have baited you mate. We were just worried about you. Some of us," he said throwing another look at Sirius, "just don't have any tact."

"C'mon, sit down Prongs. I took the cloak and smuggled up some firewhiskey earlier. We figured you might need some after earlier. Besides we have a prank to plan." Peter said handing James a bottle.

"Where's Longbottom?" James asked after a moment.

"Off snogging with Alice somewhere, of course, poor whipped fool." Sirius shook his head somberly.

"Oh sure, pick on Frank when he's the only one of us that has ever managed to have a serious girlfriend. Of course it's not like I have a choice in the matter but you and James are ridiculous." Remus said with laugh.

"Hey , what about me?" Peter called out.

"You, my dear Wormy?" Sirius asked, " If you ever found someone to date I would heartily recommend that you keep her and hold on to her as if your life depended on it."

"Mr. Padfoot," James said with a grin, "you are forgetful. Mr. Womtail has had his share of girlfriends."

"Yeah I shagged the Midgen girl!" Peter said.

"Oh right I guess I tried to forget that image: The rat shagging the ugly duckling…ick."

"Shut up, Padfoot" Peter said as he threw a pillow toward Sirius' head.

"To your point Remus, I've tried to get a serious girlfriend. It's just the only one worth getting doesn't want me." James said bitterly.

"Which brings us back to my original point that something was up, so spill Prongs," Sirius said, serious for once.

"I saw Evans," he was cut off almost immediately.

"I told you it was Evans!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Well I didn't doubt it was Lily I mean he did just have detention with her. I was merely pointing out it wasn't his normal 'I had a fight with Lily' face." Peter said in response.

"And we'll never find out what really is wrong unless you both shut up!" Remus said with a smile in their direction. "Please continue Mr. Prongs."

"Why thank you my dear Moony. As I was saying I saw Evans and she was…she was" it was still hard to think it, let alone say it, "with Snape."

"James," Sirius said suddenly completely serious. He knew this was a sore spot for his best friend. "We've been through this over the summer with everything that happened with the attack on Evans, Lily and Snape were friends. I know he's a slimy git but you can't expect Evans to just forget her years of friendship with him."

"You turned in your own family! And it wasn't like Evans and Snape were just talking! She was bloody kissing that bastard! He attacked her! He left her there to die, damn it! He's a fucking death eater and she kissed him? How is it that I am an ass in her eyes but yet he's some prince charming!?" James yelled. He really shouldn't hold everything in like this, he knew that, and it felt good to let it all out at once. Sirius rose from his bed without saying a word and walked over to James. He gave James a hug, the type of hug only a best friend can give you.

Remus and Peter remained quiet for a moment. They understood the bond between James and Sirius, more brothers than best friends. They knew James needed this moment. Sirius and James pulled apart from each other after their brief moment. Remus and Peter took their cue to each give James a brief hug of comfort.

"Are you sure Snively wasn't just attacking her?" Peter asked in an attempt to be helpful.

"She was kissing him back" James growled.

"What are you going to do about it?" Remus asked seriously.

"Our prank," James said suddenly with a look of an epiphany, "I want to add a special part in it for Snape. I want him to pay for what he did to her over the summer. And I want Evans to know why we are targeting that bastard now." James answered darkly.

"James, I'm not sure if that's a good idea," Remus began hesitantly.

"Of course it is," Sirius exclaimed, "We'll show that slimy git!"

Lily lay in her bed tears streaming down her face, replaying the last hour in her head. How could she have let Severus kiss her? Did this mean she had feelings for him? How had all this happened? She knew the truth, but she was not sure she could face it.

She had always loved her best friend, just not in the way he had loved her. She had once wished she would come to love Severus as more than a friend. It had been the only way she could see that would not involve her hurting him. But that was a long time ago and many things had changed. She was not an idiot. She knew he was not the same person he had once been. She knew he was no longer the scared little boy who had cowered in fear from his father, the intuitive friendly boy who had shown her she was a witch. That boy had died a long time ago. But for a brief moment tonight she had thought she had seen him again. That was why she had let him kiss her, it was why she kissed him back: she needed desperately to believe that boy was still in there somewhere.

Severus Snape walked back down to his dungeon common room. He felt like for the first time in his life everything was right in the world. He had Lily. He loved her and she loved him. He had kissed her and she had kissed him back. She had finally chosen him. She had finally realized that he was not a bad person, that he every choice he made he made for her.

"What's up with you?" Amycus Carrow asked as Snape entered the common room. Carrow and his lump of a sister, Alecto, were in Snape's opinion exceedingly annoying. He was forced to put up with them only because they too wished to be Death Eaters and The Dark Lord had given Snape the unenviable task of watching over them while Lord Voldemort decided whether or not they were worthy to be included in his most inner circle. Snape hated "babysitting".

"I fail to see how that is any of your concern, Amycus." Snape said quietly. Augustus Rookwood, who was jinxing a mouse he had found just for fun, gave Severus a lazy grin. They had formed a subtle friendship over the years. Both had been early victims of the Marauder's pranks. Rookwood, like Snape, was constantly the brunt of jokes due to his appearance and both were Death Eaters.

"You've got a touch of lipstick on the side of your mouth there, Sev. It looks like that color your darling little Evans wears." It was only because of his friendship and respect for Snape that he refrained from calling her a mudblood. Amycus and Alecto were not as wise.

"What? You were kissing a mudblood! Ew! That is disgusting." Alecto screamed in a mocking tone. Under normal circumstances Snape would have hexed Alecto for insulting Lily but his mood was impervious to insults tonight.

"You're disgusting," Snape replied heatedly. "I think anyone would prefer kissing a mudblood to you." Alecto screamed something back in response but Severus was already ignoring her again. This had been the best day of his life, and no one was going to ruin it.

Daphne Brown was a sixth year Gryffindor and was one of the few people who could rival James and Sirius in total number of detentions. She had blonde curly hair that fell in ringlets around her face. She loved to laugh and she loved parties. Half of her detentions were from getting caught by Filch sneaking down to the kitchens to obtain food for one of her many blowout bashes she held in the Gryffindor Common Room.

She made her way up the winding staircase to the sixth year boys' dormitory before pausing to knock on the door. Peter opened the door suspiciously but relaxed upon seeing that it was Daphne, she would not turn them in for drinking.

"Hi, Pete" Daphne said kindly, "Did you have a good summer?"

"Yup, pretty good. How was yours, Daphne?"

"Oh you know me," she said with an exaggerated wiggle of her eyebrows. "I drove all the boys crazy." She laughed her famous laugh and all the boys joined in. She slid past Peter and flopped down next to James where he was now sitting on his bed. "Hi there Captain Potter," she said saluting James sarcastically. "When are tryouts?"

"Like I'm going to make you try out Daph, you're the fastest damn seeker in the school." James said with a wry smile.

"Fast in more than one way too," Sirius said.

"Oi watch it Black before I hex you're prick right off so that you'll never be able to go at any speed with a girl ever again!" Daphne said with a scowl.

"I'm only teasing you, Brown. You know I love you. You're a female version of me!"

"I'm not quite that bad."

"No one is that bad," Remus said with a smile.

"So are you planning your annual back to school prank?" Daphne asked with a smile.

"Yup, but we can't tell you anything about it. You know the rules Daphne 'marauders only'" James answered with a grin.

"I know, I know" she answered with a role of her eyes. "So I take it you boys don't need any help?"

"Us? Help planning a prank? Miss Brown you insult us?" Sirius said with a smirk.

"Fine, fine, so long as nothing is aimed at me."

"We would never break the Pranksters Code, Madam" Sirius looked shocked by the very idea.

"This is aimed at Snape and the Slytherins," Peter said enthusiastically.

"Wormtail!" Sirius exclaimed, "Remind me never to make you secret-keeper." The boys and Daphne laughed. Everyone knew Peter was horrible at keeping secrets. He didn't mean to spill secrets about pranks he just got so excited it was hard to contain him.

"Targeting Snivelly, huh?" Daphne said with a smirk. "That wouldn't by any chance have to do with the slimy git's friendship with my roommate would it?" She said turning to look at James.

"Not everything has to do with Evans," James said.

"Oh, please everything you do has to do with Evans," Sirius said with a sigh.

"Yeah, even the first time you screwed me," Daphne said in a mock somber tone. Sirius, Remus, and Peter all laughed. James did not.

"That had nothing to do with Lily and everything to do with you taking advantage of me." Daphne threw her head back and laughed loudly.

"I took advantage of _you_?" she said still laughing. "As if, James Potter! You were just as guilty if not more so! You had just found out that Sirius had lost his virginity to that Ravenclaw girl. What was her name again?"

"No idea," Sirius shook his head as if trying to jog his memory.

"That's sad."

"Well it's easy for you to remember you actually knew the person you were shagging. I mean you and James were friends so of course you would remember losing your virginities together. I have no such thing to help me remember."

"You are such a pig," Daphne said with a shake of her head. "Anyway you Mr. Potter came up to me and asked me to go on a walk with you. You led me to the deserted passage way behind the One-Eyed Witch statue and proceeded to kiss me senseless. The only thing I did that I could possibly be held responsible for was not stopping you and letting you go further than anyone else ever had."

"Exactly," James shook his head in agreement, "I was a 15 year old boy. Could you really expect me to stop? I was relying on you to have the better judgment." He said with a smile as he leaned down and gave Daphne a quick peck on the nose.

A/N: Not a lot happening in this chapter but a lot of important ground work was laid for the coming few chapters. The next chapter should be up by the end of the week. I spent a lot of time writing and have the next few basically done I just need to edit them. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!


	15. Chapter 15

The Great Hall was teeming with people. It was 6:30 in the evening and the majority of the dinner crowd was present. It was Friday: the end of the long first week of term. Friends were gathered together sharing laughs over their dinner. Others had their heads buried in text books, hurriedly scratching out notes from earlier classes. Everything was completely ordinary and then at some unseen sign chaos was unleashed.

One moment they were sitting eating their dinner like everyone else and then suddenly the Slytherins were caught in the midst of a muggle nursery rhyme known as "Little Bo Peep". The Slytherin students suddenly sprouted cotton like wool over their robes and faces. They each had small white fluffy tails. When they attempted to open their mouths to emit a scream or more likely a swear word all that came out was a long "baaa". There was one exception to the Slytherin sheep: Severus Snape. Snape's robes had been transformed into a pink short dress complete with an apparent corset like device. He seemed unable to remove the shepherd's staff that was stuck to his hand and when he opened his mouth all that came out was a high pitched giggle.

The Great Hall was completely silent for one moment and then the entire hall, save for the Slytherins and the faculty, erupted in laughter. The faculty descended upon the Slytherins but seemed unable to undo the curse, as they had no idea what sort of magic had been used. The faculty was attempting to round up the sheep and "Bo Peep" Snape when at another unseen sign the Slytherins charged out of the Great Hall with Snape leading the way of his flock and barricaded themselves in Filch's office.

"Silence," Dumbledore spoke with authority into his wand which magnified his voice throughout the Great Hall. The laughter died away immediately. "Prefects will take the students of Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw to their dormitories. Teachers, if you will please accompany me we will sort out this mess. Rest assured there will be a full investigation into the culprits behind this attack," he said as he allowed his twinkling eyes to linger for a short moment on James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

Remus rose from his seat between Sirius and James and with great difficulty composed the smirk on his face to a look of somber disgust at such outrageous rule breaking. He walked down to meet Lily, his fellow Gryffindor Prefect, in the middle of the table. Unlike Remus, Lily did not have need to fake a look of outrage nor did she have to try hard to accomplish a look of dignity and responsibility.

"Gryffindors this way please," Lily called, her voice stern. "You heard Professor Dumbledore: return to the Common Room!" Most of the students were already following Lily's instructions though a few first years seemed to be lingering. They looked scared and some even kept grabbing their faces as if to ensure that they had not sprouted wool. "First years please come this way. I'm sure none of you are in danger!" Lily tried to assure them. She turned an icy gaze towards Remus and addressed him, "Don't you think they'll be fine, Remus? Surely you might have some reassurances to these poor frightened first years."

"Well, Lily, I don't have any more information than you do but I join you in offering my humble belief that whoever planned this horrible act is surely done and that our first years and everyone else is safe." Remus said with a little too much eagerness.

"Yes, I'm sure you do." Lily said icily as they followed the first years out of the Great Hall.

"Do you have something you'd like to say, Lily? I seem to get the feeling you think I should know something about this horrid event." Lily stopped walking and turned on Remus the fury flashing in her eyes.

"Remus Lupin, I have been your friend since first year regardless of your _other_ associations and despite those associations there's no one I would rather share Prefect duties with; that being said don't you dare treat me like I'm stupid. That prank had all the tell tale signs of a marauder work. And don't think I didn't notice that it was Snape you four singled out! As if that's not a dead giveaway that it was you all! Everyone knows how much you all hate him! When are you four just going to grow up? I mean honestly Remus I would expect this from Black and Potter and probably even Pettigrew, but you? You know better than this shit, Remus!" Lily huffed in exertion having berated Lupin without ever seeming to take a breath.

Remus' eyes were wide, not from surprise at Lily's harsh words because he had been expecting those, but because of how fast she had managed to rush out all her thoughts.

"I'm impressed that took all of one and a half minutes. Is that all or are you just taking a breather?" Remus asked in a steely tone. He genuinely liked Lily. However, and he knew it was unfair to blame her; she had hurt his best friend. James felt betrayed and Remus was a loyal enough best friend not to be overly friendly with the girl who had stabbed his best friend right through the heart.

"No, that's all," Lily snapped giving Lupin a final glare before turning away and marching through the portrait hole. Actually that was not all she still had one final bone to pick before letting go of this particular issue. "POTTER!"

"EVANS!" James mocked from across the room.

"Outside! NOW!" Lily said glaring at James.

"My bed! NOW!" James again mimicked. A few people, first years, giggled nervously but upon seeing the look on both James and Lily's faces they went quiet. The rest had had more than enough experiences with James and Lily's feuds to know when it was time to blend in to the wood work.

It had always been possible to categorize James and Lily's fights into three distinct categories. Category one was the bickering that was a constant in their relationship. Category two were the fights they often had where they both said things they probably shouldn't have and would storm about and avoid each other for days on end like they had done over the summer. And then there were the Category three fights like the one they were getting ready to have. They were not very common but the few times they had occurred one or both of them usually ended up drawing their wand on the other.

Sirius, seeing where this fight was headed, grabbed Peter by the arm and pulled them both safely out of firing range. The bevy of girls that had been surrounding Sirius followed behind them.

"WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO FUCKING GROW UP?" Lily snarled. The common room at large gasped. Lily very rarely swore in front of her classmates. She did not believe it was becoming of a Prefect.

"WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO PULL THE BROOM OUT OF YOUR ASS AND STOP BEING SUCH A SNOTTY BITCH?" James retorted angrily.

"I WOULDN'T BE SUCH A 'SNOTTY BITCH' IF I DIDN'T HAVE TO POLICE YOU'RE EVERY MOVE FOR THE PAST SIX YEARS!!!!! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF YOU TERRORIZING THE REST OF THE STUDENT BODY FOR FUN!!!!!"

"The student body or your boyfriend," James said a low growl that Lily and the rest of the Common Room had to strain to hear.

"I don't have a boyfriend." Lily stated plainly.

"I saw you kiss him." James stated his eyes had grown dark with anger.

'You don't know what you saw. You don't know a damn thing, Potter." Lily replied tears of anger brimming in her eyes. How dare he?! How dare James Potter attack her about kissing Severus when he had treated her like a fool over the summer! How dare he act like he was jealous after Lily had practically begged him to kiss her, to do…more than kiss her…and he had the nerve to act like he cared…again! Lily had had enough. She had had enough of Potter and all of his act. She drew her wand and he drew his. They each prepared to hex the other and block the unfriendly spell but neither got the chance. Professor McGonagall had entered the Common Room through the portrait hole.

"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans what is the meaning of this?" Professor McGonagall asked sternly.

"Practicing professor," both James and Lily answered automatically. Neither one had lowered their wands.

"Practicing?" Professor McGonagall questioned doubtfully. "Well lower your wands. I have an announcement to make." She waited for them to do so before continuing. "We have been unable to cure the Slytherins of their predicament as Madam Pomphrey believes it is a newly invented spell. Professor Dumbledore would like to add he thinks it took a great deal of skilled magic and that he can only imagine what those who created it might accomplish if they put their minds to a greater task than coming up with juvenile pranks. That being said Professor Dumbledore is willing to make a deal with the perpetrators. If they come to his office within the next hour and put the Slytherins right no points will be deducted from the house and they shall receive only one detention; if however they do not turn themselves in Professor Dumbledore will have to involve the Ministry of Magic." She nodded curtly before turning around to exit through the portrait hole. She paused as if just remembering something she wanted to add and turned around with a twinkle in her eye. "Potter, Lupin, Black, and Pettigrew, off the record it really was an astounding bit of magic. Run along now won't you I'd rather not be in negative points after only the first week of school." She stepped through the portrait hole without another word leaving a mystified student group in her wake.

"Unbelievable," Lily said in a disgusted voice.

"If you'll excuse me Miss Evans I have an appointment to keep with the headmaster."

"Fine. Oh and Mr. Potter, this is not over."

"Oh yes it is, Evans. We've been over since the moment you kissed that swine." He said this loud enough for the room at large to hear before leaning in and whispering quietly to Lily, "I would have thought you had more self respect than to become the whore of the Death Eater that tried to kill you."

Lily turned on James drawing her wand again, preparing to curse him into next week, when Alice stepped in between Lily's wand and James.

"He's not worth it, Lil. Whatever he just said to you and whatever he's going on about it's not worth the amount of trouble you would get in. James has nothing to lose, YOU do."

"Hey, Lily it looks like you need to inform Alice about your latest tryst with your boyfriend."

"Potter," Alice said sharply, "I'm shielding you for right now but don't push her or I will step aside. Now haul your ass to Dumbledore's office with the rest of your fellow terrors to ensure we don't lose any points."

__________________________________________________________________________

"Lily, please talk to me!" Alice said as she pulled the curtains shut around Lily's four poster bed.

"I'm not trying to hide anything from you Alice. It's just a lot happened this summer and none of it was good."

"Lily, I am your best friend! Don't keep this from me! Let me help you, Lil!"

"Okay," Lily conceded. She raised her wand and whispered, "Muffliato".

"What spell is that?" Alice whispered.

"Something Severus taught me a few years ago. It clogs the ears of anyone trying to listen to us."

"Okay well then now that we're under your cone of silence, start talking please!"

"You know I stayed with James this summer and things kind of got out of hand. You know I stunned him when he was naked, but what you don't know is that it was because he used me, badly. James and I had flirted a lot over the summer and at first I just thought it was annoying and a way to pass the time, but then I started to think it over. I remembered what you and Andromeda and everyone else had told me: James Potter genuinely liked me; that he wasn't just interested in proving he could get me. I started to, for a brief moment only, to consider what it would be like if I actually gave him a chance. And then he proved me right. He came to my, well technically his, room and was acting like he was trying to make a move on me and for a minute I sort of wanted him to, and then he admitted it was all a joke. He made a complete fool of me. I've never been so embarrassed in my life!" Lily admitted her face flushed red.

"Oh, Lil," Alice comforted. "Why didn't you tell me this from the beginning? So, do you like James?"

"NO! Absolutely not! It's more just that I hated being made to feel vulnerable for even that moment. The momentary attraction was fully physical. I mean we've all heard the rumors about him and I just kind of wondered what it would be like."

"That's entirely normal. Nothing at all to be embarrassed about," Alice assured her.

"I kissed Snape."

"You what?! Lily are you crazy? You told me that you thought he was a Death Eater! In fact you told me you were pretty damn sure he was the one who attacked you! I still don't understand why you didn't turn him in, but I respected your decision because I figured you had a reason. But Lily, how can you kiss him?"

"We don't know it was him," Lily defended weakly.

"Well even if it wasn't him, he still called you a…don't make me say it, Lil."

"I know, I know, I know. I know I'm an idiot, Alice. I've been saying everything you just said to me to myself over the past few days. I didn't mean to do it he just seemed so desperate, so needy. It reminded me of the little vulnerable boy I used to know. I just wanted to protect him, make everything okay for him if only for a minute."

"He almost killed you, Lily!!!" Alice stamped her foot for emphasis.

"I KNOW Alice. It was a mistake, it was wrong, it was horrible of me. I am an idiot! I know! Are you happy now?" Lily sobbed desperately.

"Of course I'm not happy, Lil! Do you think I like seeing you this torn up inside? I love you, Lily! You are my best friend in the whole wide world! I want you to be happy but your relationship with Severus has never been healthy. I mean he's more of a parasite than a friend."

"That's not fair, Alice. Severus was a good friend to me for a long time!"

"He pretended to be your friend, Lily! A friend would not have called you what he called you! I don't doubt that Snape genuinely cared for you but that does not excuse the way he treats you and everyone else!"

"Yet, Potter gets forgiven by everyone even Dumbledore for the shit he pulls!"

"There is a difference, Lily and you know it! James and his friends never cursed Mary like the Snape and his friends. James, no matter what else you might say about him, hates the Dark Arts. Severus may be the victim of James' attacks but I promise you Severus Snape is no innocent victim. I know you don't want to hear this but I think Severus and his Death Eater cronies have probably done a lot more damage than James and the other Marauders. In fact, I would hazard a guess that Snape and the rest of them probably get what they deserve from the Marauders."

"I know there's a difference. Deep down I know you are right, but what you have to understand Alice is that the Severus I know is not the same as the Severus everyone else knows. He's different when it's just us. But you're right he has changed and I made my decision at the end of last year. I can't be friends with him anymore. I was just merely explaining my lapse in judgment."

"Well that makes me feel a little better," Alice sighed in relief.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Daphne Brown and Lily Evans glared at each other angrily.

Lily and Alice had been working on their potions essay that was due the following Wednesday. Both girls wanted to get it done so that they would not have to work on it over the coming weekend, when the first Hogsmede trip was scheduled to occur. Daphne had just returned from another grueling quidditch practice in preparation for the upcoming match against Slytherin. Lily and Alice had either not seen her come in or had just not paid any attention to her because they had continued their conversation uninterrupted.

"I think its ridiculous how Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew get to follow a whole other set of rules from the rest of us," Lily had said heatedly.

"I agree but it's not like they got off completely. I mean they did have to serve a detention." Alice had stated indifferently.

"Detentions are like a hobby to them. They turned the whole of Slytherin into a scene out of a nursery rhyme" Lily said.

"There you go again, Lily," Daphne had said with a roll of her eyes as she flopped down on her bed, "Taking the Slytherins side".

They continued to glare at each other angrily. Alice and Mary MacDonald, the other sixth year girl, shifted nervously on their beds.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Lily asked trying to keep her tone even.

"It means you should be a little bit more grateful to James instead of constantly complaining about him," Daphne said angrily. She had had enough of Lily Evans' crusade against James.

"Grateful to Potter? What are you talking about? And I am NOT constantly complaining about Potter. I have been given a job by Dumbledore- to enforce the rules- it's not my fault that Potter constantly breaks them!"

"James Potter took you in when you had nowhere else to go! He let you sleep in his own bed! If he hadn't found you in that store and rushed you to St. Mungo's you would have bled to death! Open your eyes, Lily! James is not the villain in this story!"

"I am aware of how kind James and his parents were to me over the summer and I've expressed my gratitude to both James and his parents. I also am painfully aware of what would have happened to me over the summer if James had not saved me. That being said there's a lot about this summer that you know absolutely nothing about, so I would really appreciate it if you could mind your own business." Lily said in a dignified tone.

"I know more than you think. And no I'm not planning on telling anyone and I'm not bringing it up to threaten you or whatever I'm just saying don't go around pretending like you are so much better than James when you owe him a whole hell of a lot. Now, I am starving and I'm going to go get dinner. Are you coming Mary?" Daphne asked her best friend.

____________________________________________________________________________________

James Potter opened the letter from the unrecognizable owl that landed in front of him at breakfast.

James,

You are so sexy. I've been dreaming about you for so long. Meet me in the old abandoned store next to the Hogshead. I know you and your friends like to go there to have fun sometimes and maybe today you and me can have a little fun of our own.

Your Secret Admirer


	16. Chapter 16

"Wait so you're really going to ditch us to go meet this mystery dame?" Peter questioned James as James, Peter, Sirius, and Remus walked together to Hogsmede.

"Well, yeah" James said as if this was the obvious answer.

"But…" Peter began but was cut off by Sirius.

"Wormtail, can you blame him? I mean he's probably going to get some serious action today. What, Pete, would you rather do, hang out with us or shag some fine mysterious lady?"

"Now Padfoot, you know that's not a fair question. Pete doesn't have much experience with ladies to draw from. I mean his only real experience was with Midgen. So let me ask you, Mr. Padfoot, would you rather hang out with us or shag Midgen?" Remus said laughingly.

"Ah, I suppose you are right," Sirius conceded. Peter blushed but shrugged off his friends teasing.

"That is not what I meant," Peter said with annoyance. "I was referring to the fact that we were going to smuggle in some more liquor, some of which other people have already paid us for, and we'll need James' help and now he's just ditching us."

"Pete relax," James said in a placating tone, "I already thought about that. I brought the cloak which I will happily give to you, and Remus has the map. Besides it's getting more difficult for us to all fit under the cloak anyway."

"Fine," Peter said in a waspish tone. He recognized he was overruled as he so often was.

Lily sat at a table outside of Honeyduke's Sweetshop with Frank and Alice. She was only half paying attention to their flirtatious banter. Mainly she was busy licking her lollypop and flipping through the latest issue of Witch Weekly that she had picked up on the way into the village. She glanced up for a moment only to receive a shock the size of a lightning bolt right to her gut.

"Ah! Oh my! Merlin! Why? What are?" She finished looking as confused as she sounded. She was somewhere between sitting and standing. Alice and Frank were mirror images of confusion. Neither one had any idea what could have prompted such a reaction in Lily.

"What? Lil, what is it?" Alice asked concernedly.

"I just saw Severus and Andromeda heading down that alley over there."

"WHAT?" Alice turned around rapidly, but saw no one.

"Lily," Frank said in an overly understanding voice, "that doesn't make any sense".

"Well that's what I saw," Lily snapped.

"Lily I think your just merely projecting," Frank said kindly.

"I am not… what?" Lily sat down but only because she wanted to know what the bloody hell Frank was talking about. She glanced over at Alice hoping to see her best friend looking equally annoyed with her boyfriend, but Alice was shaking her head in agreement with Frank as if everything was now explained. She had already turned around and was looking sympathetically at Lily.

"That make sense," Alice said to Frank before turning to Lily, "You're projecting, Frank and I read about it in a muggle Psychology book we found in his mum's study."

"Well what is it and why does your mum have a muggle Psychology book? Don't all healers think muggle doctors are complete rubbish?"

"Well, mum likes to keep up with different ideas in muggle medicine. She feels they can't all be rubbish. Projecting is when you are thinking about different things and your fixating on them so much that you project them on to other things."

"So basically you think I'm hallucinating?" Lily snapped.

"No, Lil, we don't think that. We think that you just are thinking about Snape and Andromeda and you just imagined you saw them!" Alice soothed. Lily began to speak but Frank cut her off.

"Just think about this rationally Lily. Andromeda hasn't left her house in months. Ted's been after Mum for months to do something, anything for Andromeda. Ted is at a loss for what to do. Andromeda wants them to leave the magical world forever, raise Nymphadora as a muggle." Frank said sadly.

"What? I hadn't heard any of that. Is she crazy? Dora is a metamorphmagus! She can't possibly control herself! What will they do if she turns her hair green while they're in the grocery?" Lily said completely sidetracked by this new piece of news.

"Dromeda isn't thinking reasonably. She's in a lot of pain right now," Frank replied.

"And who knows what shape her brain is in," Alice supplied, "I mean she was hurt really bad that day we found her. Who knows how long that sadist Bellatrix kept her under the Cruciatus Curse; I mean that can make people completely lose it."

"That's what keeps my mum up at night. She keeps trying to find a way to treat it, bring someone back. I know she was worried Andromeda might have been too far gone," Frank said.

"I still can't believe her own sister could do that to her," Alice said disgustedly.

"I don't know, I think Petunia would have a go at me if she knew how," Lily said darkly. "But I don't understand why the ministry doesn't do something about Bellatrix and the rest of them. I mean it's so obvious that she's a Death Eater."

"The Black's have a lot of money, Lil. And Bellatrix is engaged to Rudolphus Lestrange."

"So what, that doesn't change what she did!" Lily said angrily.

"I know that, I'm merely pointing out that the Ministry has a history of putting too much store in family names and the amount of gold in a Gringotts' vault and not really caring about guilt and innocence," Alice explained.

"Well, it's still stupid," Lily sighed exasperated.

"Well a lot of things are stupid, take that guys hat for instance," Frank said with a laugh. Lily and Alice both turned around quickly and burst out laughing. They continued to laugh for several minutes, having fun as friends should on the first Hogsmede trip of the school year.

And then the world was muted. Lily saw James walking down the same small alleyway she had sworn she had seen Severus and Andromeda head down moments before. He turned the same way she had seen them turn and the pieces began to fall in to place. She could not believe she had not seen it before. She, Alice, and Frank had just been talking about her minutes before and she hadn't seen the connection. She had been so stupid. It was so obvious now. Andromeda would not be with Severus, but her sister would. It was not Andromeda that Lily had seen. It was Bellatrix, her older sister who looked so much like her.

But one thing did not make sense. James would not be meeting with two possible Death Eaters; Lily forced herself to include Severus in that category. So why would he be heading down that same alley way alone. Even James Potter was not stupid enough to think he could take on two Death Eaters by himself. And then the last piece of the puzzle fell into place.

"It's a trap," Lily spoke her realization out loud. She rose up from the table and drew her wand. Potter was in trouble and she was the only one who could save him.

"Lily, what are you doing?" Alice was looking at Lily like she had grown a tail.

"I…I don't have time to explain. Just trust me on this you need to go and find Sirius, Remus, and Peter. Tell them James is in trouble and that I've gone to help him but that I'll need help. Bring them to the alley across the street and turn right at the end of it. I have to go."

"Lily, just wait a second! This is insane," Alice pleaded.

"I don't have time to argue about this Ali, James is in danger!"

"Okay. Okay let's just say for a second that James is in danger, why can't me and Frank just go with you now and forget the other boys?" Alice begged.

"Because I'm afraid it may take more than just the three of us," Lily said. She couldn't voice her fears out loud but she knew from her summer at the Potter's that Richard and Jillian Potter were probably on You-Know-Who's most wanted list. Her deepest fear was that it was not Severus or even Bellatrix who was waiting for James, but You-Know-Who, himself.

"Lily, you're scaring me. What is going on?"

"Alice, you're my best friend and I love you to death, but I need you to trust me and do as I ask."

"And what exactly are we supposed to tell Sirius and the rest of them to make them believe this?" Frank asked in a resigned voice.

"Tell Sirius that he told me once that one day I would have to make a decision between protecting an old friend and doing what is right. Tell him this is that moment and this is my choice." Lily said as she backed away from the table, waved once more at Alice and Frank before turning and running towards the alleyway.

"Well, you heard her," Alice said rising from her seat and drawing her own wand, "let's GO!"

"We have two options," Remus said matter-of-factly, " we can either send Sirius to distract Rosmerta while Pete and I sneak back under the cloak to get the merchandise or we can go to the Hogshead. I really doubt that Aberforth would really care one way or another."

"Ah, but where is the fun in that? What's life without a little bit of a challenge?" Sirius said with a laugh. "Bloody hell Fortescue, what's the matter with you? Did Longbottom attack you or something?" Sirius said with a smirk.

"Standing right here, Black." Frank said.

"Oh there you are, Frank!" Sirius said as he continued to smirk.

"Would you both just shut up! James needs your help!" Alice would have yelled it but she thought it best if not everyone in the pub knew.

"I doubt it," Sirius said with a laugh, "He's with a girl. Now I know his skills are not as prolific as mine but James has never needed any help giving a lady a good time."

"Ignore him. What's going on, Alice? Is James alright?" Remus asked seriously.

"I don't know. Lily…well to be honest she's been acting kind of weird all day. I mean first she thought she saw Andromeda Tonks and Severus Snape together and then a few minutes later she got all weird said James was in trouble and that we had to come get you while she went to help him."

"Sounds like Lily is the one who needs our help," Peter said sarcastically. Sirius, however, was no longer smiling.

"That's what I said" Frank said with a nod towards Peter.

"She thought she saw Andromeda and Snape together?" Sirius said, ignoring Frank's comment.

"Yeah, but that's impossible isn't it?" Alice asked. "Oh but she did say this. She said something about how you had told her once something about choosing between protecting an old friend and doing what's right and she said to tell you this is her answer. I told you it didn't make a lot of sense but I've never seen her act like this and I think it's worth looking into." Sirius looked somber for a moment and then he rose from the table, drawing his wand.

"James is in trouble. The mystery girl must have been a set up, a trap. Come on, he needs our help." Remus and Peter both rose in unison. Remus addressed Sirius with a question he had been pondering since Alice first began to tell the story.

"You don't think it was Andromeda either do you?"

"Not for a second."

"Bellatrix?" Remus asked.

"For James and Lily's sake, I sure as hell hope not." Sirius answered grimly.

Lily ran the fastest she had probably ever run until she got to the end of the long alleyway and then she stopped. She had watched enough muggle television shows to know you never just went bounding around the corner into the unknown. She put her back to wall and pulled her wand up a few inches higher ready to strike in a moment if need be and she slowly peeked around the corner. She saw nothing. It just led to the other street where the Hogshead and some other stores she never went to were located. She inched around the corner slowly keeping her eyes peeled for anything suspicious.

And then she saw it. Had she just been passing by she never would have noticed the red flash of a spell coming from the old deserted store next to the Hogshead. She began to creep towards the building but stopped suddenly.

Should she go on ahead by herself? Would Alice, Frank, and the other boys be able to find them? She took a deep breath. She didn't have time to be scared now. James was in trouble and she had to save him. She stepped quietly to the side of the door and peered in.

James was bound on the floor bleeding. Lily surmised Severus had used the same spell on James as he had on her over the summer. James was pail but at least he still seemed to be conscious. Lily took one more steadying breath before she burst the door open and yelled, "Expelliarmus!"

Snape's wand flew from his hand and into her own. She did not waver she held her own wand steady pointing it directly at Snape's heart.

"Evans" James squeaked in shock.

"Lily, I can explain" Severus began.

"Save it for someone who cares, Death Eater. I should have turned you in over the summer, but I tried to protect you. Well, no more! They can send you to the Dementors for all I care." Lily snarled. "Incarcerous," she whispered dangerously.

Lily ran over to where James was bound and quickly undid the spell. He tried to stand but could not, he was losing more blood by the minute.

"Evans, what the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" James whispered

"Saving your ass, what does it look like, potter?" Lily snapped as she pulled her hair ribbon out in order to attempt to make a tourniquet to stop the bleeding.

"That's nice of you and I lo… like you very much for it but you have to get out of here and save yourself."

"I'm not leaving you here. You could die!"

"I'd rather it be me than you," James hissed earnestly. "Please Lily, just go you have to get yourself out of here before…"

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the famous Lily Evans." Lily turned slowly, though she knew already who it was, her wand raised.

"Crucio," Bellatrix screamed. Lily rolled over dodging the spell and pointed her wand at Bellatrix.

"Tarantallegra" Lily yelled back.

"Oh the little mudblood knows how to play with the big girls."

"Don't call her that you evil whore," James said with as much force as he could muster.

"Crucio" Bellatrix snarled, this time pointing her wand at James. Lily saw red. She wanted to tear Bellatrix apart limb by limb.

"Oppugno" Lily screamed with everything she had. A lion exploded out of the tip of Lily's wand and charged Bellatrix, causing her to break the concentration needed to keep James under the torture spell. Lily crawled over to James and helped him up. "I need you to try your best to walk because we have to get out of here" Lily whispered to James while still keeping her wand trained on Bellatrix who was currently using her own wand to repel Lily's lion.

Snape growled from his constraints and Lily made a critical error by glancing over to him for just a moment. Bellatrix took advantage of Lily's momentary lapse in concentration to banish Lily's lion. She turned toward Lily with vengeance in her eyes. James attempted to shove Lily out of the way but it was too late. Bellatrix had already cast the spell to disarm Lily.

Bellatrix Black now held her own wand, James' wand, and Lily's wand.

"Well, let's see how brave the little mudblood is now that she doesn't have her wand to protect her. Better yet, let's see if you hold up any better than Potter or my sister against the Cruciatus curse."

"Don't you dare hurt her," James slid valiantly in front of Lily shielding her from Bellatrix's wand.

"Ah, how touching," Bellatrix said in a mocking tone.

"Isn't it," Lily said as she stepped in front of James, "And I won't let you do it," she said looking turning her head to look directly into James' eyes. "you've been hurt badly enough today."

"Lily, I…"

"Oh enough of this romantic bullshit, you're making me sick." Bellatrix said. She raised her wand, "Cruci…"

"Stop! Don't do it! Don't hurt her! She's not part of this!" Severus yelled, pain evident in his voice. He had never meant to put Lily in danger.

"Oh, I'm sorry Severus! How perfectly rude of me," Bellatrix said laughing to herself. Everything was going according to plan. "Of course you would want to have a go at them. Here let me help you." She released him from his bindings and handed him his wand back. "Go ahead, Severus show your favorite mudblood how much she's hurt you."

"Go to hell, Bella! Lily has nothing to do with this. Let her go."

"I'm not leaving without James," Lily said defiantly, "And I don't need help from Death Eaters."

"Like hell you're not," James whispered furiously. "You're taking this opportunity and your going to run."

"I am not! And may I ask, why is your hand on my breast?"

"Is this really the time?"

"Well if I'm about to die, I would like to know why I am being groped in my final moments."

"I am protecting your heart from a direct hit," James said as if the answer was obvious.

"SHUTUP!" Severus roared. "Lily, get out of the way so I can curse that smug bastard into oblivion."

"No."

"Oh, enough of this teenage drama," Bellatrix hissed. "I have a fun idea!" She said with a wicked laugh. She was not being sarcastic. She really was a sadist and she thought her idea would be very much fun. She pointed her wand at Severus. "Snape I will let you choose. You can either torture the mudblood yourself, or I can do it. I think we both know how much fun I can have with it, but because of your history with the brat I thought I'd give you the option." Everything was unfolding perfectly. With one curse she could torture both Lily Evans and both the men who loved her.

"No. I can't! I won't hurt Lily!" Severus roared. This had all gone far beyond his control.

"As you wish," Bellatrix said with a sneer, "Cruci…"

"No, wait! I'll do it!" Severus stopped her. "God, Lily I am so sorry." Severus said while tears streamed down his face. James tried once more to step in front of her, but Lily would not budge from her stance in front of him. "Cruci…"

"Expelliarmus," five different voices screamed. Snape was thrown backward with the force of all five spells hitting him at once. Bellatrix however was still on her feet, still fighting. She aimed her wand at Lily and James.

"Avada…" James grabbed Lily pulled her down to the ground with him. The curse flew into the wall bursting a hole that crumbled outward toward the street.

"Not today, Bella!" Sirius was advancing on his cousin. Both their wands were slashing furiously, spells ricocheting off one another. Remus, Alice, Frank, and Peter rushed forward to help Sirius in his battle.

Bellatrix knocked Sirius, Remus, Frank, and Peter back off their feet with a furious blasting curse that not only knocked all four boys off their feet but also knocked several large pieces of cement on to Lily's legs.

Impossibly, Alice was left standing face to face with Bellatrix Black. She was trembling, but not out of fear. She was full of nothing but rage. This woman had done enough damage for a life time, and she, Alice Fortescue, would put a stop to it.

Lily whimpered from where she sat partially supporting James, while he partially supported her. It had nothing to do with the concrete cutting into her legs and everything to do with seeing her best friend face to face with such unspeakable evil. She knew that if anything happened to Alice it would be her fault. Alice whispered an incantation Lily had never heard of and a lasso of flames surrounded Bellatrix who howled in pain.

"Burn in hell you bitch!" Alice screamed. Then several things happened at once. Bellatrix turned the flames into a snake that turned toward Alice ready to attack. Sirius, Frank, Remus, and Peter having recovered their balance rushed forward to Alice's aid. Bellatrix looked ready to fight to the death.

And then for reasons only known to her she laughed wickedly, whispered to no one in particular a threat of vengeance, yelled a spell that Lily had never heard but saw no obvious effect of the incantation, and then she disapparated with a swish as Sirius attempted to cast an Anti-Disapparation Charm to trap her.

Silence met the group of teens for a brief moment as the gravity of the situation they had just escaped sunk in. Then they erupted in raucous cheers.

Frank lifted Alice off her feet and kissed her passionately.

"Ali you were completely amazing. I have never been so terrified in my life as when I saw you with no one to protect you from that horrible woman! I love you so much!"

"I love you too, Frank," Alice said as she kissed him again. "And you should know by now my silly boy that I can take care of myself."

"I don't mean to be rude but would you two lovebirds mind coming over here and helping us get our friends out from under this big rock." Sirius said sarcastically.

"Why don't you just levitate it?" Alice asked.

"Oh gee, Remus why didn't we think of that?" Sirius said sarcastically.

"Bellatrix cursed it before she left. It won't move by magic." Remus answered Alice's question with a brief smile towards Sirius.

"Would you mind hurrying up? The tourniquet that Lily made is doing alright for a hair ribbon but I am losing quite a bit of blood and would be much obliged if you could hurry up so that I don't lose it all!" James said in a weak voice.

"It's no good James," Peter said huffing from the exertion. "It's too heavy. We'll need help."

"Such brains used to make such cunning conclusions," Sirius said sarcastically.

"That's not helping," James said sternly. "Hand me my wand over there where Bellatrix dropped them." Sirius complied. James made several complicated swishes of his wand and then spoke very clearly into his wand tip. "Professor Dumbledore. Bellatrix Black launched boycott most likely on Voldemort's," Lily, Alice, Frank, and Peter all gasped, "orders. Lily Evans and I are both injured. Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, Alice Fortescue, Frank Longbottom, and Severus Snape were also involved. We are currently trapped in the abandoned storefront located next to the Hogshead. Bellatrix has left but she could possibly return with backup, though I doubt it. Expecto Patronum!" He said the last two words with great force, a stag erupting out of the tip of his wand.

Lily looked at James in awe. She had heard rumors that Dumbledore had developed a way of communicating via the Patronus Charm, but to see it used and to see that James Potter apparently had an aptitude for doing it was shocking. Even more shocking was Potter's patronus: A stag.

"You're patronus is a stag?" Lily mused.

"Don't diss my stag, Evans," James said with a small smile. Casting the charm had taken a lot out of him in his already weakened state.

"No, I'm not," Lily clarified. "I'm just surprised. I thought, well Professor Flitwick made it sound like, I was the only one in our class who knew how to do that charm."

"Oh, well Flitwick doesn't know. My parents taught me awhile ago. As far as I know Dumbledore is the only teacher that knows I can do it."

"I figured, but that's not why I'm surprised. I just think it's weird that your patronus is a stag, because mine is a doe."

"How sweet, you're perfect for mating. Can we please move on to the more pressing matter of why you mentioned Snivellus in your communication with Dumbledore?" Sirius questioned. Severus snarled from where he had again been restrained by the incarcerous spell courtesy of Lupin.

"So we can turn him in obviously," Peter said.

"No." James said simply.

"What?" Lily asked turning as much as she could manage to look James in the eye.

"WHAT?" Snape growled from his confines. "I don't want your pity or charity Potter."

"And he shouldn't get it, James" Lily said. "He needs to be handed over to the Dementors!"

"No. He may be an evil, slimy, son of bitch, but he's still just a kid like the rest of us. He was a victim of Bellatrix today just like the rest of us."

"He tried to kill you!" Lily protested.

"And he tried to save you," James finished. "Snape this is the only reprieve you'll ever get, so if I were you I would take this time to assess the path you're on and change it. I don't know whether you're a Death Eater or not yet, but if not I would suggest you seriously consider changing course. If so then take this time to plan your missions a little better, because the next time I come across you doing Voldemort's work be warned that I am more than willing to Avada Kedavra your slimy ass."

"Like you could," Snape hissed venomously.

"Well, keep going down the path your on right now and you'll find out sooner or later," James answered dismissively. His mind was made up. He would always hate Severus Snape, but James recognized that Snape had tried to protect Lily, and for that James was grateful. He also saw in Snape's eyes today a look he recognized because he had often seen it in the face of first time quidditch players. The look was that of someone who felt they were in over their head. If there was the slightest chance that he, James Potter, could help anyone, even someone as awful as Snape, from becoming a Death Eater he would do it.


	17. Chapter 17

Lily Evans lay awake, unable to go to sleep. It had been a very long day, full of much adventure and excitement. She was understandably very tired, but she kept fixating, puzzling, and analyzing a single moment of the day's events and she could not sleep.

"Potter," she whispered, careful not to alert Madame Pomphrey that she was awake. "Potter, are you awake?"

"Well I am now," James answered sarcastically. "I could be wrong about this but I thought the whole point about Dumbledore making you and me stay here tonight was so that we could get rest."

"I can't sleep," Lily said ignoring his protests at being awoken.

"I get it. This is a late nigh booty call," James said with a smirk as he rolled over on his side to look Lily in the eye. "I mean I did just practically bleed to death and you do have two broken legs that are being mended as we speak, but sure I'm always game for a little Lily-loving".

"Ha! I just keep wondering about you…"

"The answer is yes I will go out with you, Evans. I am so glad you finally asked!"

"Potter" Lily whispered harshly.

"Fine, sorry, what were you wondering?"

"Why did you let Snape go? I mean he could have killed you!"

"My life would be pretty boring without Snape to torment," James said with a laugh.

"Be serious, please!"

"Fine, I felt sorry for the slimy bastard. He was in over his head and a part of him was scared. He tried to save you, so clearly the bastard cannot be all bad. If it's one thing my parents and Dumbledore, for that matter, have always taught me is the importance of forgiveness and the impact it can have on people's lives. I mean look at all the times Dumbledore's forgiven me. I just figured that if there was even a chance that Snape might realize that he's on the wrong path and change his life that it'd be worth it."

"Wow. I have to say I'm impressed, Potter. Who knew you could be so mature?"

"It's been known to happen," James said with a grin.

"This is a role reversal," Lily said with a laugh.

"How do you mean?" James asked.

"You giving Snape a second chance, me thinking he should be turned in." Lily said averting her eyes as she said it. She believed Severus should be turned in, but that did not make her proud of abandoning her old friend.

"The difference is that before he hurt you. This time he tried to protect you," James said. It was one of the few times Lily had ever seen him blush. She was not quite sure how to respond to it. She was used to James expressing his "feelings" for her in a flirtatious, annoying banter. She was not, however, used to him expressing his "feelings" for her in a sincere way.

"I…um…that's very um sweet of you, James" Lily turned a bright shade of red.

"Oh damn, Lily. I'm sorry, hell I'm getting to be like a weepy, dame tonight. Forget everything I said it must be the loss in blood. Anyway I'm pretty tired, so if it's alright I think I'm going to go to bed now."

"Oh, right. Sorry, I didn't mean to keep you awake for so long. Good night, James."

"Good night, Lily" James said back as he turned back over on his back.

Lily felt funny. She wasn't sure what it was but something was different. There was a knot in her stomach and it made her feel on edge, but not necessarily in a bad way.

Alice ran up the stairs to the sixth year boy's dormitory and hammered against the door. Remus Lupin opened the door, looking alarmed.

"Alice is everything alright?" Remus questioned as he ushered Alice into the room.

"Why are you here?" she shrieked at Remus as she paced back and forth.

"It's my room." Remus answered bemusedly.

"Ali, what is it?" Frank asked worriedly.

"When did you get back from rounds, Remus?" Alice questioned.

"About an hour ago, same as Lily."

"Lily never got back!" Alice shrieked again.

"What, she said she was coming right back?" Remus asked concernedly.

"She didn't come back with you?" James asked seriously.

"No. She got a letter. She said she wanted to read it by herself and that she would catch up. We finished patrols early and she's allowed to be out there so I didn't think it was a big deal." Remus answered with a justifying note in his voice.

"What if someone hurt her? We have to go get help! We have to find her!" Alice said as she made her way to the door.

"Alice, wait. I'll go and find her. I have um ways of getting both me and Lily back without getting us into trouble," James said. He ignored the glares from Remus, Peter, and Sirius.

"I should go. I'm her best friend!" Alice argued.

"If she comes back on her own you should be here waiting for her. Wait down in the common room until I come back." Alice did not argue the point further. She knew that if anyone could find his way around the castle and find Lily without anyone finding him it was James Potter.

Lily approached the Ravenclaw common room, hoping to find a Ravenclaw that would let her in. She saw no one. She took a deep breath and lifted the knocker. It asked a question, as she knew it would be, "What is the connection of magic and humanity?"

Lily thought for a moment before wording her answer very carefully. "Magic is a complex genetic trait that is found in some human beings. It varies in intensity and can lie dormant for years in the case of squibs or muggle-borns. It does of course need focusing and training, like any other talent," Lily concluded hopefully.

"Well phrased, I always thought you belonged in Ravenclaw." Lily smiled and walked into the Ravenclaw common room.

"Lily, what are you doing here?" Pamela Corner, a third year girl Lily had once tutored asked. "How did you get in?"

"It's a question. Ravenclaws are not the only ones who know how to answer questions. I'm here on prefect duty," Lily said confidently. She had to act the part. "I need to speak to Doug Edgecombe right now. Is he here?"

"Um…yeah I think he's upstairs do you want me to go get him?"

"Yes, please hurry. It's very important." Pamela hurried up the stairs to the fifth year boys dormitory and returned with Doug Edgecombe, the tall, thin, Ravenclaw quidditch star.

"Can I help you with something, Evans?"

"I think you'd rather we discuss this out in the hall." Lily said seriously. Doug followed Lily out into the corridor.

"Alright, what's this all about?" Edgecombe asked harshly.

"I happen to know that you received a banned substance from smugglers. I also know that you want to become Ravenclaw's quidditch captain after Jennie Davies graduates this year. These two things seem greatly at odds with one another."

"What do you want from me?"

"Go get it now and bring it down here to me. If you give me no trouble about this I will let you off with a warning. And Edgecombe, you sure as hell better be glad it was me that got the tip off and not someone else."

"I'll be right back," Doug said shortly. Lily took a deep breath; she could not believe she had just bribed another student and even more shockingly to get alcohol. All thoughts about why this was necessary came screaming back to her. She shook her head violently. No. She would not cry here, not yet. She could let it all out in just a few short moments; she just had to be strong in the mean time.

James Potter slipped out of the portrait whole. He was under his invisibility cloak but nevertheless he looked around to see if anyone had seen the portrait hole swing open inexplicably. He drew out what appeared to be a blank piece of parchment and tapped it with his wand.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he whispered with a smile. He saw her dot immediately. He had, after all, had years of experience watching it. She was in an empty class room down the hall from the entrance to Ravenclaw tower. He briefly wondered if she was waiting for a boy there, but shook that notion out of his head. Most of the boys in Hogwarts would have loved to date Lily Evans, most however were too scared to act on it because James Potter had made it clear during their third year that she was his and any boy stupid enough to ignore this would face the wrath of the Marauders.

He stopped in his tracks as he peeked through the door to where Lily sat. She had not heard him crack the door open. Something was wrong. Lily Evans, prefect to the extreme, was sitting on a desk drinking a Firewhiskey. And judging by the plethora of empty bottles surrounding her, she had been sitting there drinking for quite some time. He stepped inside the room and pulled the door shut behind him. Lily jumped up and spun around to look questioningly at the door. James pulled the cloak off and gave Lily a small smile. He could tell she had been crying and he wondered what could have caused her to both drink and shed tears.

"Peek-a-boo!" Lily said with a drunken giggle. She sauntered over to James, or at least that's what it most closely resembled considering she was wobbling and tripping over her own feet. James, hoping to keep Lily from injuring herself, placed a steadying hand on her shoulder.

"Um, peek-a-boo to you too, Evans" James said questioningly. Lily did not answer; she merely looked at him for several long moments before she closed the distance between them and kissed him. James was stunned. He couldn't think. Was this a dream? Usually Lily was sober in his sex dreams? Granted the added thrill of Lily kissing him and the taste of Firewhiskey was a plus he could not have imagined. He heard her moan into his mouth and he felt himself hardening. He was losing himself in the sensations of the moment. Lily hooked her arms around his neck and used the leverage to pull herself up against his erection. Now it was James' turn to moan out loud as he trust up against her. Lily giggled drunkenly as she kissed James' neck. James pulled away.

"Damn it I wish I was dishonorable," he swore under his breath.

"I can make you naughty," Lily said with a laugh as she attempted to slide back in his arms.

"Evans you're killing me here," James said with a sigh as he maneuvered Lily to a chair he conjured.

"Gonna give me a lap dance?" Lily asked in a slurred attempt to sound sexy.

"Remind me, if we ever end up together getting you drunk once a week is mandatory because you are possibly the horniest drunk I've ever seen…and I'm best friends with Sirius." Lily laughed but her expression became serious after a moment.

"I just want to feel good, James" she said as tears brimmed in her eyes. "I want you to make me feel good," she pleaded. James' heart broke at the look of pain on the face he had adored for so long. He sat down beside her on the chair and kissed her gently on her forehead.

"I'll make you a deal Lily, you still want this when you're sober and I promise to make you feel good," he said with a smile. "But you're clearly upset and I respect you far too much my lovely flower to take advantage of you. Besides, I've loved you long enough to know you're not going to want this in the morning." James looked down sadly at Lily's pristine face as he listened to her heavier breathing as she drifted off to sleep. She would be in a right state in the morning, he knew that Lily Evans did not drink and that the hangover she was going to be experiencing tomorrow would be enough to ensure it remained that way for a long time. He stood up, intending to lift her up and carry her back to the common room when he spied a letter on the desk Lily had been sitting on. Could this be the reason behind her pain? He knew he shouldn't read it, but he reasoned that it would be best if Alice knew what she was dealing with when Lily woke up. This was not nosiness, it was research.

**Lily,**

**I am only writing to you to inform you that last week mother and father died in a car accident. They had gone to a play and Daddy had been drinking. He missed a turn and drove off the road. Everyone says their funeral service was beautiful. I'm sorry I didn't have time to write to you before now but I hope you understand I was very busy with all the preparations. Vernon and I are officially engaged now. Actually, one of the few blessings is that Vernon was able to gain Daddy's permission before the accident. Mother and Father left me our home in their will. I hope you don't mind, but obviously you wouldn't need it.**

**Obviously people asked about you at the funeral but don't worry I've learned my part well. I cried about how the news of their deaths had made you so unstable that the school was forced to hospitalize you. Mother and Father had left you more than enough to provide for your care and I would visit you faithfully. **

**They did leave us both an equal division of their monetary assets. I have set up an account in your name so that you can access it, if you should need to. There is no need to thank me; it is after all what they would have wanted. **

**As I said I took care of everything by myself, without any help from you, and there is no need for you to come home. You made your choice and now you must live with it. Mother and Father died broken hearted because of your selfishness. They may have been able to live with your abnormality but I will not. You are dead to me.**

**Petunia**

"Shit," James cursed under his breath. No wonder Lily was in such a state. Her parents were dead, her sister had seen no reason to inform her of this, Lily had not had the chance to mourn her parents properly at their funeral, and to top it all off that cow Petunia basically said she never wanted to see Lily again. James promised himself that if he ever came face to face with that spiteful bitch again he would be sure to teach her a lesson. He stored the letter in the pocket of his robes and gently lifted Lily up into his arms. He pulled the invisibility cloak over both of them and made his way back to the Gryffindor common room.

"What's the matter with her," Alice cried as James emerged from the portrait hole carrying an unresponsive Lily.

"Shhh," James whispered, "She's just passed out. She's had a rough night and she's in for an even worse morning with the hangover she's going to have."

"Hangover?" Alice questioned. "Lily doesn't drink"

"Well believe me she did tonight. This explains everything," he said as he handed Alice the letter after laying Lily down on the couch.

"Bloody hell," Alice whispered after she had finished reading the letter.

Lily Evans had made up her mind. She knew now what she had to do.

It had been a long morning. She had woken up with a horrible headache that Alice explained was due to the amount of Firewhiskey she had consumed the previous night. Alice gave her some awful tasting potion that James had brought Alice the night before, something to do with curing hangovers. Lily had not been overly optimistic that the potion would work, after all Potions was one of James Potter's weakest subjects. Surprisingly the potion had worked. Of course it would make sense that the one potion James Potter would know how to fix would be a hangover potion. Lily sunk down further into the bathtub surrounding herself once again with hot water and fragrant bubbles. This, in itself, was reason enough to be a prefect.

She had already spoken with Professor Dumbledore and he had granted her permission to flew to London where she would take a taxi home. She had permission to be absent for a week in order to get her affairs in order and visit her parents grave. She forced herself to think the words. It was still impossible for her to really believe that her parents were in fact dead. It didn't seem real. A part of her was sure that once she got home she would find them sitting in the study reading a book together. Yet, her brain told her that was not the case. Petunia had made it quite clear in her letter, their parents were dead.

James Potter laughed as he was led along the Hogwarts Corridor. He had had a long night and was devoutly relieved that today was Saturday. He had checked on Lily this morning, though he had not seen her. Alice said Lily was making preparations to travel home to get a handle on her situation. Perhaps it was the fact that all this was weighing on his mind or just because it was a Saturday and he loved surprises, but he was deeply intrigued by where Daphne was leading him with a magic blindfold over his eyes.

"Can't I look yet? This is so embarrassing being drug through Hogwarts with a blindfold over my eyes," James said with a laugh. Daphne knew he did not care what anyone thought. Besides if the majority of Hogwarts saw James Potter wearing a blindfold, the rest of the student body would begin wearing one immediately.

"Not yet silly! We're almost there," Daphne said as she looked back over her shoulder. Truth be told, James really did look stupid. "Ok we're here but you can't take your blindfold off, yet."

"Brown are you trying to kill me," James said with a mock grimace.

"Maybe," Daphne said as she slid gently up next to him.

"Ms. Brown, are you trying to seduce me?" James asked with a smile as he attempted to lower his head to give Daphne a kiss. Granted this was made more difficult by the fact that he couldn't see.

"Not yet, Potter." Daphne said with a laugh. "Now, I am going to take your blindfold off but you have to promise to be good," Daphne said.

"Fine, fine, fine I promise!" James said eagerly. Daphne slid the blindfold off him. James blinked for a moment as everything slid into focus as Daphne slid his glasses back on him. "The One Eyed Witch Passageway," James stated with a smile.

"Well, it is kind of our spot," Daphne smiled sheepishly. "I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me, today." Daphne said hopefully. She had decided over the summer that James was no longer just a friend to her, he was no longer just the occasional shag; she had developed feelings for him. She knew it was stupid. She knew, like the rest of the school, that James Potter was madly in love with Lily Evans. But she couldn't help but wonder if it was possible he had feelings for her. After all, she was the only girl he ever came back too. She was the one constant throughout his romantic history. Could it be possible that he might have feelings for her too? All her fears and nerves were silenced by the feeling of James pressing his lips up against hers and kissing her in a way that was both gentle and passionate.

James' mind was spinning. Daphne and he had always just been friends. Granted they had been really good friends for a long time and he loved hanging out with her. And there was the tiny matter that he loved kissing her. He loved the way she laughed at the top of her lungs and loved trouble just as much as he did. But he loved Lily. Didn't he? He had loved her for years. Granted he had turned down to opportunity to have sex with her twice now, but that was just because of the respect he felt for her. That being said Lily had had six years to return his feelings and she never had. All she had ever done was throw his words back at him, make him look like a fool, and kiss Severus Snape. He had had enough. He would be Lily Evans' fool no longer. Daphne made him happy. Daphne respected him. Daphne wanted him. His mind was made up.

"Be my girlfriend, Daph?" James asked as he continued to kiss her neck.

"That's not fair," Daphne said as she struggled to clear her brain. It kept getting fuzzy with the feelings James was creating inside her as he continued to lavish her neck with kisses. "I was going to ask you."

"Too bad I beat you too it." James said with a laugh.

"So this is for real? James Potter, playboy extraordinaire, is asking me to be his steady girlfriend?" Daphne asked as she looked James in the eye.

"You make it sound so shocking," James said with a smirk.

"Oh, I assure you that it is," Daphne said with a smile.

"Well then let me make myself quite clear Miss Brown," he said as he looked her directly in the eye. "I'm all yours. I want you to be my girl, and if you'll have me I'd like to be your bloke."

"Oh, I'll have you," Daphne said with a laugh as she pulled him, her boyfriend James Potter, into a deep kiss.

Lily Evans attempted to open the door to her childhood home, but was unsurprised to find that it was locked. She knew however that the house was not empty. She was positive that was Vernon's car in the driveway, which meant he and Petunia were most certainly inside. Hating the fact that she was now forced to knock on the door of her own house, she nevertheless did so. Vernon Dursley, looking as ugly as she remembered, opened the door. He turned an ugly shade of purple when he saw her and Lily wondered fleetingly if he was choking.

"You…You're not welcome here," he sputtered angrily. "She told me the truth about you and your unnatural abomination." He turned an even deeper shade of purple while at the same time his nervous eyes kept checking to make sure no one at heard what he said.

"Good, that saves me a lot of time," Lily said as she pulled her wand out of her coat pocket. "Move or I'll hex you into next year. Not that it would be that noticeable, I mean it's not like you were winning any beauty contests before." She said in a menacing whisper.

Vernon slid to the side to allow Lily to enter the house. She kept her wand pointed directly in his face. She thought briefly that it would be worth the punishment and ministry warning to hex that smug bastard and her sister.

Petunia Evans stalked slowly into the foyer assessing both Lily and her wand.

"What are you doing here? I made it quite clear in my letter that you were neither wanted or needed here." Petunia said venomously. Lily turned her wand on her sister.

"Don't push me Petunia or so help me I'll put a curse on you that will spell the word bitch right across you face in acne that you'll never be able to get off, oh and I'll be sure to make sure you look gorgeous on your wedding day," Lily replied viciously.

"You wouldn't dare. I know you, Lily. You've always been little miss perfect. Hell even when you jumped off the swings when we were little and mummy told you not to you did it so well that mum forgave you and said her little girl was going to be a gymnast. You wouldn't risk expulsion from your perfect little freak school; you wouldn't want anyone to think bad about little miss perfect." Lily raised her wand a fraction of an inch higher, ready to attack.

"You don't know me. You haven't known me since I was 11 years old; you never took the time to want to get to know me. You have no idea what I'm capable of, so don't you dare pretend like you do."

"Lily, I'm your big sister. I know everything about you and that's how I know you wouldn't ever hurt your 'Tunie'".

"That was eleven years ago. Today you're not my sister. I'm dead to you, remember? Today you're just some bitch whose in my house, broke my heart, and didn't even invite me to my own parents' funerals.

"Your house? You think this is _your _house?" Petunia roared angrily. "You haven't lived here in 11 years. You made it damn clear to mummy and daddy that you didn't want to come back home, that you were staying in 'your world'. Well fine, stay there! I've made myself perfectly fucking clear, I don't want to ever see you again!"

"Don't worry. That's fine by me. I'm only here to get the rest of my stuff so that I don't ever have to see you and your fat, ugly fiancé ever again. Now get out of my way!"

Lily stormed upstairs to her bedroom and slammed the door. She wondered fleetingly if this really would be the last time she got to do that. She slowly began packing up the rest of her clothes, the few she didn't take with her to Hogwarts, as well as the rest of her worldly belongings. She had never been in such sympathy with Sirius Black. She had never considered how hard it must have been for him to pack up everything of any importance in his life and leave home. It had never occurred to her, he just seemed like he was so happy, so at home at the Potter's that she had a hard time imagining him anywhere else. As she packed away her life memories rushed back to her about her childhood years spent in this room. She lay on her floor to peak under her bed in order to pull out anything that might be hiding under there. She wiped away a tear as she remembered a time when she would have been afraid to look under there, that she would have needed her daddy there to protect her. She laughed a moment later as she pulled out a single card from her Memory game. She smiled as she thought of the day spent in this room teaching James Potter to play. She looked up at the spot where he had first kissed her.

James Potter, as hard as it was for her to believe, had become a good friend to her over the past few months, though she knew she hardly deserved it. It was true that he had never been mean to her, in fact he had always been too friendly, but she only ever saw the egotistical prat that had abused his popularity to pick on those weaker than him, one of those people being someone she cared deeply for. What James did not know was that the reason this killed Lily, the reason it had caused her to hate him so deeply was that she understood what Snape and all the others were going through. Growing up as a muggle had not been easy for Lily. She hid behind her bravado and charm, but there were many nights when lying in this very room she had cried herself to sleep. For at the time she had not understood why she was so different from anyone else, different even from her own family; the kids at school often made fun of her, said she was jinxed because funny things always seemed to happen around her. She knew what it was like to be the person who got teased every day, the person who felt sick to their stomach every time it was time to go to school. Maybe that was why she had always been so fiercely independent. The point being that every time James Potter and his cronies picked on and belittled the other kids of Hogwarts, even though she herself was never their intentional victim, it just brought back all the painful memories. Not to mention the fact that she, understanding how it felt, hated to see anyone especially Sev have to go through it. However, his past deeds did not change the things he had done for her lately. He had taken her in when she couldn't go home, he had taken care of her after her attack, had held her in his arms while she cried over the loss of Andromeda's friendship, he had been here at her home and had helped to make a terrible day a little brighter, he had kissed her up against that wall with such passion, and yet such tenderness that it made her heart melt just thinking about it, and he hadn't cared about his own safety in Hogsmede, only caring that she got out safely. Most recently he had taken care of her when she had gotten so drunk after finding out about her parents, he had not taken advantage of the situation, he had been a perfect gentleman and had carried her back to the common room, he had even given her a hangover potion so that she wouldn't feel as terrible waking up this morning. And even though he didn't think she had heard him, she remembered him telling her that he loved her last night. And a part of her, she wasn't sure how big of a part, loved him too.


	18. Chapter 18

Lily Evans sighed as she sat her bags down in the unfamiliar setting. It would take a while, she knew, to feel at home in this strange place. It was a small flat in a Wizard neighborhood outside downtown London. The landlord was a small, squat wizard who appeared to be in his late 50s. Lily gave him the money for the first month's rent and filled out the rest of the paper work which enabled the rent to be withdrawn automatically from her newly set up Gringotts account each month. She was glad when he left her alone in her new home, she needed time by herself to get used to her surroundings.

It was on the top floor, open and airy. The kitchen area had a picture window that overlooked the city below. The kitchen reminded her of a hospital. The white walls that ran throughout the flat were accompanied by white shelves and countertops to give the allusion of sterile environment. The wood flooring seemed in good condition and there was a nice little niche where she could put her bed. The few boxes of her possessions sat on her bed in the middle of her flat. It was hard to believe that everything she owned, besides her things at Hogwarts, was sitting here in this small one room apartment. Her world felt like it had shrunk to the size of a pin head in just a matter of hours.

***********************************

Alice ran to Lily as soon as she stepped inside the entrance hall. She had missed her best friend immensely and had worried for her each day of her absence.

"How are you?" Alice asked concernedly.

"Okay, I guess," Lily shrugged. "It still hasn't really sunk in. You would think I would have realized it when I was moving my stuff into the new flat I wrote you about, but none of it seemed real."

"It'll take time, I expect," Alice said soothingly.

"It made me realize something though; you can never just assume you have time for things. I mean you really have to live each moment like it will be your last. I mean look at everything happening with the war and with my parents and it's all just so uncertain."

"I suppose you're right about that," Alice agreed.

"And you were right about me," Lily pressed on.

"I usually am, but what about in particular?" Lily looked around to make sure that no one would hear her before she continued.

"About me and James," Alice's smile faltered. She attempted to stop her friend from going further but Lily didn't notice. "You were right Ali, you and Andromeda. You've been trying to convince me for years that I liked James, its weird not calling him Potter, and you were right. I've just been so pigheaded I haven't been able to see it. I was so convinced that he could never really like me; that he was only interested in getting in my pants, that I couldn't see what you and Andromeda were talking about. But on Friday he took care of me Ali, I was completely wasted and made a fool of myself coming on to him but he was a complete gentleman. And you said he brewed me that hangover potion. I think that's what made me see it, I was thinking of the bad days I've had and how James was there to make them better and it hit me that he really does love me, that he really never was serious about those other girls like you said. And…" Alice felt the tears brimming in her eyes. Her best friend had just lost both her parents and now she, Alice Fortescue, was going to break her heart even more.

"He's dating Daphne," Alice whispered, wishing it wasn't true and she could make her friend happy.

"He's what?" Lily asked not sure she had heard correctly. Fate would not be so cruel as to have her realize her feelings for James only after he stopped caring for her.

"He's dating Daphne. I'm so sorry, Lily!"

"James doesn't date," Lily whispered as if in trance. "He…He just has one night stands and flings but he never dates anyone seriously. I mean sure he's had a few more with Daphne than with anyone else, but that doesn't mean they are dating…"

"I'm sorry, Lily. I wish it weren't true."

"Are you sure?" Lily asked. She hated herself for the note of pleading that snuck into her question.

"Daphne's spoken of nothing else since it happened. Believe me I could tell the story in my sleep." Lily nodded trying to make sense of everything.

"When did it happen?" Lily asked quietly.

"Saturday morning."

"Oh, great so Potter," Alice registered that it had once again become Potter, "lets me kiss all over him on Friday night and practically beg him to sleep with me and then he goes and asks Daphne Brown to be his girlfriend. That's just fucking spectacular!"

"You want me to help you shrink his privates?" Alice asked with a wry smile, hoping to get a smile in return from her friend. Lily rewarded her with a small cursory smile, but it was perfunctory at best.

"Don't look at me like that Alice; you know I can't stand pity."

"But Lil," Alice tried to speak but Lily cut her off with a sharp glare.

"It took all of 30 seconds for me to realize I liked James Potter, it should take half of that for me to get over it. Besides, if it's one thing I'm an expert at its hating James Potter." Alice knew it would be best not to argue with her at this point. She knew that her best friend was heartbroken but she also recognized that it would be best to let her best friend get angry and deal with it in her own way. Lily was not trying to convince Alice that she was already over James as much as she was herself, and Alice knew that. "Come on, we better get breakfast. I don't want to be late on my first day back."

********************************

James Potter sat eating his breakfast in the Great Hall. He absorbed the scene around him sleepily. Sirius was laughing at Peter who was trying to drink from his goblet only to find that Sirius had jinxed it to empty when picked up. Remus sat next to James reading over his notes so that he would be ready in case of a pop quiz in one of his classes. James smiled to himself about how predictable his best friends were. Daphne sat on his other side, her hand resting in his. She was deep in conversation with her best friend, Mary. His attention shifted when he felt Daphne pull her hand from his grip as she stood up and he heard Mary say something about Lily. His head spun around and he saw her.

She looked beautiful. He paused. Was he allowed to think Lily looked beautiful? Friends could think other friends were beautiful right? She blushed as he caught her eye and he wondered if she too was remembering the last time they had seen each other.

"Lily!" Daphne said with a smile, Mary right behind her. She pulled Lily into a deep hug and when she released her Mary did the same. "You poor dear, how are you?" Lily hated her for sounding sincere, as she was sure she was. For even though the two had fought Daphne and Lily had always been friends, and that made Lily want to hate her even more.

"I'm okay," she said with a shrug.

"Of course you're not, what a stupid question of me. But don't worry we're all here for you! I know Alice got most of your school work but I got your notes and stuff for you in Runes since Alice isn't in that class."

"Oh, okay thanks Daphne that's really nice of you," Lily said.

"Don't even mention it sweetie, that's what friends are for!"

"Yeah and we made your favorite cookies, Lily! They're up in the room!" Mary said with a smile.

"Oh wow, thanks! How did you make them?"

"She exaggerates. The house elves love me because I am always in the kitchen needing something. They made the cookies; we merely delivered them to the dorm," Daphne said with a roll of her eyes.

"Evans?" Lily's heart fluttered. "It seems everyone's established that 'you're okay' but I'm here if you need to talk."

"Thanks Potter," she said in a monotone voice it was all she could do to keep sadness and anger from slipping in.

"Oh and we made you this," he said as Sirius motioned to him.

"You made it?" Lily asked intrigued in spite of herself.

"It was painful," Sirius supplied.

"It's a certificate," Remus explained as James grabbed it from Peter and handed it to Lily, "for one whole week free of Marauder pranks. We'll be perfect pupils of Hogwarts this whole week so that you can get caught up on your school work."

"We didn't want you to have to worry about giving us detentions," Peter added cheerfully.

"It has all our signatures and we jinxed it so we all have to follow it," James said with a smile.

"Still think that was a bit overkill, mate," Sirius added.

"Well, you would since you were the one we were thinking of when we added it," Peter said with a laugh.

"Such a comedian today, Wormy," Sirius said with a laugh.

"Enough!" James said. "Lily Evans on behalf of Misters Moony, Wormtail, and Padfoot, I, Mr. Prongs, do hereby award you this certificate from the Marauders."

"Thank you," Lily said and she couldn't help but smile at him. "I wish you would tell us where you came up with those silly names, though," Lily said deciding to press her luck.

"Ah madam, a Marauder never reveals such things," Sirius said looking scandalized.

***********************************

Lily Evans walked quickly towards the stairway. Though she would never admit it she hated being down in the dungeons by herself, especially late at night. She wished Professor Slughorn would have waited to check on her tomorrow after their class instead of having sending for her the evening she returned to the castle. She knew he had meant well, but the fact remained that now she was left to walk back to the common room by herself in drafty dungeons.

"Lily," Severus Snape stepped out from a dark corner. Lily jumped at being startled but also drew her wand immediately. Snape raised his hands in defeat as if to show that he was not armed. Lily thought he had probably learned this from some muggle film at the cinema. "Easy Lily," Severus said in a low voice. "I'm not going to hurt you. I never would." Lily gave a derisive laugh at his comment and continued to hold her wand steady.

"It seems to me that I'm the one with the wand so it's you who should be taking it easy. What do you want, Severus?"

"I just wanted to talk to you," he seemed to plead.

"I have nothing to say to a Death Eater." Lily said solemnly.

"Can't you understand that I did it all for you? To protect you," Snape protested vehemently.

"You really are delusional," Lily said dismissively.

"I know you don't believe me now, but you'll come around Lily. Once He's taken over and I'm one of his favored ones. I'll be lauded above all the rest and you'll be at my side. A new order is coming to power Lily and I will be one of its soldiers and I will keep you safe."

"I want no part of it," she said passionately.

"Nonsense, those who foolishly try and fight Him will die, they already are."

"Then I'll die fighting, but I will never ever support him, or you," Lily said angrily.

"We'll see," he said with a smirk. Lily had always hated that smirk, it was so arrogant.

"I suggest you get out of my way before I blast you out of it," Lily said with a growl.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry about your parents. I know you cared about them."

"They were my mum and dad of course I cared about them."

"When He rises I'll see your sister gets what's coming to her."

"You stay away from my family!"

"Family? You still consider that cow family?" Snape said with a sneer.

"You heard her," James Potter said, seemingly appearing out of nowhere. "Stay away from her family. Petunia Evans may be a cow but she's Lily's cow so you can butt the hell out of it."

"Potter," Snape growled, "what do you know of it? I don't remember inviting you to this little rendezvous."

"That's funny, because I'm positive that neither Lily nor I invited _you_." James said with a wink at Lily.

"I'm not stupid, Potter. I know Lily would never invite you anywhere, as much as you might like her too." Lily was unsure which one of the two she preferred at this moment but she knew that James was attempting to help her and as much as he had hurt her she did appreciate it.

"Well, I always knew you were never much of a brain Snivelly. Lily asked me to come meet her down here to walk her back up to our common room. She doesn't much like walking back alone down here. I can't say I blame her now that I see what kind of creeps are lurking around down here waiting for her."

"Yeah, right" Snape said with a sneer of indifference. Why did Potter always have to interrupt his private conversations with Lily?

"Actually, Snivellus," Snape winced at Lily's use of the name, "James is telling the truth. I did think he would be more punctual though." Lily said giving an exaggerated smile to James.

"I was held up by um Peter…he got his head stuck." Lily burst out laughing. She knew of course he was lying but the sad thing was that it could happen. "I assure you Evans it was not a laughing matter. It took all three of us to get him unstuck," James said with a smile. "Now if you're done with this slimy git may I suggest we get going? I wouldn't want my favorite Prefect to get caught out after curfew."

"Yeah, I'm more than done with him."

"Lily, wait!" Severus called out. She did not turn around. She and Potter had already turned the corner and began their way up the stairs.

**********************************************

"I don't suppose you're going to tell me how it is you always manage to find me," Lily asked as she and James passed the Great Hall.

"I'm a Marauder," James said as if that explained everything.

"Yet none of the others seem to have your ability to find me," Lily said turning to face James.

"Are you really complaining about the fact that I happen to save your ass a lot?"

"Save my ass? Excuse me but of the two of us I believe it was you who required saving by me in Hogsmede."

"Yeah but that doesn't change the fact that had I not found you these last two times you would have either lost your Prefect badge for using it to intimidate a student into giving you his Firewhiskey or you would have been attacked by a band of Slytherins down in the dungeons."

"Okay Sherlock, first of all how in the hell do you know about how I got the Firewhiskey? And secondly Severus Snape is definitely only one Slytherin, not a whole band of them."

"Rookwood and the Carrows were waiting right out of sight in case Snape signaled for them. Now granted the Carrows barely equal the wit of one human being but they could always just run and jump on you. I expect that would handicap you significantly. And Rookwood is one slimy piece of work," James shook his head with disgust.

"How did you know that?" Lily asked. She was looking at James wearily as if trying to work something out in her head.

"Never mind that, it's not important." James shrugged off her question. He tried to continue up the stairs but she grabbed his arm to keep him routed to the spot.

"And you knew about the Firewhiskey how?"

"Our buyers tend to get mad when they get discovered," James said with a sheepish grin.

"Your buyers," Lily questioned. "Oh I should have known the Marauders would have had a hand in it. Usually you all don't get caught though," Lily wondered aloud.

"Pete had to make the run on his own. The rest of us were in detention."

"Ah, well that would complicate matters."

"Yeah, well" he again tried to continue on his way up the stairs. She did not grab a hold of him but she also remained in place. After a moment he turned around and looked at her. "Aren't you coming?"

"Why do you keep finding me? I know you can't tell me how you do it, but at least tell me why."

"Why what" James asked.

"Why is it always me your so obsessed with saving? I can take care of myself, you know."

"Oh, I know. I don't know I guess it's you who you usually gets into trouble and needs my help."

"I don't need your help," Lily said in almost a whisper.

"Well that's good to know," James said sarcastically. "Why do you care? Why are you being such a snotty bitch about this?" James said glaring at Lily. Lily felt the angry tears burning her eyes as they fell from her eyes.

"I just don't think your girlfriend would appreciate it very much if you're always running off to save me!"

"And what the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You know damn well what it means! I don't need your help! I don't need you to save me! I don't need you at all!" Lily screamed before she pushed past him and ran up the rest of the way to the common room in tears.

******************************

Daphne jumped as the door slammed behind her. She turned toward the noise to see Lily Evans shaking with tears in her eyes. She jumped off her bed and made her way concernedly to her roommate.

"Lily?" Daphne asked. "Are you okay?" Lily shook her head and looked crazily around the room over Daphne's shoulder.

"Where is everybody?" She asked dazedly.

"Alice is with Frank and Mary has detention with McGonagall because she was late. Can I help you? Is it your parents? It's okay to miss them, you know?" Lily nodded her head and sat down on her bed. Daphne sat down next to her.

"It's not that. I'm afraid you won't think I'm worthy of comfort once you hear what a bitch I was to your boyfriend." Daphne laughed quietly at Lily's side.

"Lily, no offense but I think the whole school is kind of used to that."

"Usually he deserves it," Lily mumbled, "but he was only trying to help. Snape was bothering me and James appeared out of nowhere and helped me get away from him, but he made this idiotic comment about how I'm always getting myself into fixes and it just made me mad. I'm afraid I was a bit rude."

"Lily, everyone understands what you're going through right now. I'm sure James just brushed it off. We all know you're emotions are raw right now, its normal. I would be worried if you weren't having emotional mood swings. It's all part of the grieving process."

"I guess. Thanks Daphne, I really appreciate it. I think I'm just going to go to bed now."

****************************************************

Lily felt sick. And now her leg hurt. Alice was looking the other way but Lily knew it was her best friend who had just kicked her under the table. She knew her best friend was just trying to take care of her but Lily couldn't look away. She was pretending to read her notes but in reality she was watching James and Daphne ogle each other at the breakfast table. The only reason Alice was able to tell that Lily was not reading her notes was because Alice was sitting next to her and had observed that Lily was glaring at the same page with venom.

Alice aimed another subtle kick at Lily under the table in order to tell her to turn the page of her notes. Despite what her friend had said of being over James Potter, Alice knew better. She had heard Lily crying in her bed this morning when Daphne had not returned from her date but had instead stayed out all night with James. She knew Mary would assume Lily was crying over her parents, Alice knew better. Lily was crying because she knew Daphne was with James and despite how much Lily might deny it, Alice knew Lily wanted desperately to be in Daphne's place.

*****************************************

Daphne moaned softly into James' ear as his quidditch callused hand brushed over her bare breast. She arched into his touch. James smiled against her neck as he felt her shudder against him. He and Daphne had both had a free period and he had suggested a make out session in the common room. He had been thoroughly disappointed to discover the common room was packed with sixth and seventh years studying for various exams. Daphne had suggested the library. Merlin she was fantastic. A girlfriend who wanted him just as much as he wanted her, it was bloody brilliant. For the first time in his life he was having more sex than Sirius. He grunted in pleasure as she rubbed her hand up his length. He wished more than anything he could shrug off his trousers and give his throbbing erection some breathing room, but there was nothing appealing about the idea of Madame Pince discovering him with his pants down in the library.

*************************************

Lily dropped to her knees in the stacks of the Hogwarts' library as she searched for the particular book she needed. She spotted it after several moments of looking. As she reached to grab the book she heard the unmistakable sound of a couple making out. She huffed in anger. She hated people making out in the library. The library was her sanctuary and she treasured the peace and quiet she found there. She pulled the book from its assigned place and peeked through to the other side attempting to get a look at the couple. She intended to give both students a thorough talking to and detention.

She stifled a moan of her own as her eyes found the couple. Hers was not a moan of pleasure but of pain. It was James and Daphne. As if seeing them looking all lovey-dovey at breakfast was not bad enough, or knowing that they were both wearing satisfied smirks because they had been out all night together was not enough to make her heart ache. No, she had to be the one to catch them groping each other in the library. She slowly pushed the book back in its spot. It no longer held any appeal to her. She turned and walked directly to the librarian's desk.

"Madame Pince?" Lily addressed the aging librarian.

"Yes, Miss Evans what is it?"

"There's a couple engaging in lewd contact back behind stack DS."

"What?! You're a Prefect why didn't you stop them! Depraved teens," she shrieked as she swooped off towards where James and Daphne were located.

Lily smirked as she heard Madame Pince screeching at a shocked James and Daphne. She knew it was juvenile and petty of her, but at this point she didn't really care. She ducked out of the library quietly in order to prevent James or Daphne from seeing her.

Remus Lupin lowered his book as he watched Lily slip out of the library door. One of the benefits of being the studious Marauder is that he saw things that people did when they thought they were in Marauder free zones, like the library. Something didn't fit. Why would Lily report James and Daphne to Pince? Why wouldn't she just give them a detention herself? Or why couldn't she just leave them be? Was she that determined to see James sad? That didn't sound like the Lily Evans he knew. One thing was clear something was going on with Lily Evans and Remus was determined to figure out what it was.


	19. Chapter 19

Remus Lupin walked slowly behind Lily Evans as they were carrying out their prefect rounds late that night. He knew he had to find out why she had set Pince on James and Daphne, he just wasn't exactly sure how to bring it up. He had told Sirius about it as soon as he had returned to the common room. Needless to say Sirius was all for telling James immediately and not bothering to talk to Lily first, but Remus had convinced him to wait. Something was not right and he wanted to find out what was going on.

"Lily, can I ask you about something?" Remus said gathering up his courage.

"Yeah, what's up, Remus?" Lily responded.

"Why did you report James and Daphne's make out session to Madame Pince?" Lily came to a stop. She turned slowly to face Remus; her face was unreadable.

"I'm a prefect and so are you. I know you don't mind turning a blind eye to your friends' escapades, but I won't play favorites."

"Don't try and guilt me off topic, Lily. If you were really just upholding the rules you could have given them a detention yourself, instead of embarrassing them in front of Madame Pince."

"Why does it matter how I handled it, I made a snap judgment! Daphne is my roommate I thought it would be less awkward if Madame Pince handed out the punishment."

"Yeah I'm sure she'd rather find out from other people that you went behind her back instead of consulting her directly," Remus said with a sneer worthy of Severus.

"That is none of your concern and it's not your place to tell her or James anything." Lily snarled.

"James is my best friend," Remus said simply.

"I don't understand what the big deal is?!" Lily said sharply.

"Because you have feelings for James, admit it!" Remus declared. "The reason you reported him and Daphne was because you were jealous, but you didn't want to do it yourself because you didn't want to have to face him."

"How DARE you," Lily screamed as she slapped Remus across the face. "You have no idea what you are talking about!" Lily said derisively.

"He's the happiest he's been in a long time, Lily. Please, don't mess with his head!" Remus pleaded quietly, looking Lily directly in the eye. "I'm sorry, I crossed a line accusing you of a jealous conspiracy, it's just its taken James a long time to get over you and I don't want to see him get hurt anymore." Lily's heart felt like it had been stabbed at Remus' confirmation of her fears: James was over her.

"Don't worry, Remus. I have no interest in James Potter romantically and I have no intention of doing anymore to encourage his flirtations than I ever have-so not at all." Lily said simply.

*****

James Potter walked quietly over to Lily Evans in the common room. He did not want to make a scene. Daphne had gone to bed after they had returned from their detention and Lily and Remus had just returned from their rounds. Only a few people, including Sirius and Peter, were still up but he needed this discussion to be in private. Besides, if the past was any indication it was better for the general population if his and Lily's discussions were in private, that way no innocent bystanders were at risk from the hexes flying back and forth.

"May I speak to you, please," James asked her curtly. She looked confusedly at him for a moment and cast a questioning glance towards Remus before agreeing. However, she did not move, so he amended his request, "outside, please?"

"It's after curfew," Lily stated as if that much was obvious.

"And you're a prefect," James finished her sentence.

"And you're most certainly not," Lily added.

"So, give me a detention?" James challenged, there was a blazing fire in his eyes and it made Lily blush. Remus had said he hadn't told James anything, so he couldn't possibly know she had reported him to Pince, could he?

"Fine, let's go." Lily relented after a moment's hesitation.

****

"Right, so a funny thing happened today. I got a detention," James began.

"Only one? You're right, Potter that is funny. It has to be like a record." Lily interrupted him.

"Bull shit, Evans!" James said angrily.

"Oh you did get more than one, then?" Lily asked sarcastically.

"I got a detention from Madame Pince. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?" James challenged.

"No, but it doesn't surprise me I'm sure Madame Pince was alarmed when you entered the library. It's not like you're there that often, and you're never up to anything good when you're there." Lily replied in an even tone.

"Don't lie Evans, it's not becoming of a Prefect."

"Are you done, Potter? If you don't have anything else to say other than to hurl pointless accusations at me I'd much rather spend the rest of the evening talking to someone else."

"No I am bloody well not done. I know you reported me and Daphne in the library and I want to know why damn it!"

"If I had caught you I would have given you a detention myself," Lily replied quietly.

"I said don't lie, Evans" James said as he backed Lily up against the wall pointing his finger at her to emphasize every word. "I smelled you in the library." James said quietly. Lily was not sure whether to laugh at the last thing he said or slap him.

"You _SMELLED_ me?" Lily yelled.

"Not in a bad way," James explained quickly. "I know what you smell like Evans. The scent of your perfume mixed with your shampoo and the scent of lilies, ironically enough. After Pince swooped down on us I caught a whiff of you when we were walking back to her desk to get out detention slips."

"Hardly rock solid evidence, Potter," Lily sneered. "I'm sure tons of girls use the same perfume and shampoo."

"None of them smell like you," James said quietly. "So why did you do it, Evans? Jealous?"

"Me, jealous? You are delusional!" Lily cried in outrage.

"So what, you were watching me and Daphne and decided you'd like me to do those things to you?"

"You arrogant bastard," Lily screamed as she pushed against him but he held her tight against the wall. "I think I've made my disdain for you perfectly well known over the past six years!"

"You won't so clear about it the other night," James said cockily. He doubled over in pain a moment later. Lily had kneed him in the groin.

"You know damn well I was drunk that night and I had a good reason to be," Lily said as the angry tears brimmed in her eyes. She slammed the door before he had managed to completely right himself.

****

Remus Lupin wandered up and down the corridor outside the Gryffindor Portrait Hole. He could hear Lily and James yelling from a classroom down the hall. He just hoped it wouldn't resort to a duel. Regardless of what he told Lily in the corridor earlier, he still had a nagging suspicion about Lily's feelings for James. He also knew, like he had told Lily, that for the first time since he had first laid eyes on Lily Evans, James Potter was interested in having a long term relationship with another girl. He wondered if he was doing the right thing in not telling James his suspicions about Lily. He reasoned that it would be different if Lily had confirmed her feelings to him, if he could know for sure that Lily liked James he could tell him, but to get James' hopes up yet again only to have Lily crush them; that would only be worse. For Remus knew that regardless of what he had told Lily this afternoon, James Potter was not over Lily Evans. In fact Remus doubted that James would ever be fully over Lily.

Remus jumped as he was stirred from his thoughts by Lily slamming the door as she stormed out of the classroom. She looked frightening. Remus knew that the fiery redhead could do damage when she was angry, and at this moment she looked downright thunderous. Remus stepped out of her path and was glad that Lily did not spare him a look but marched right through the Portrait Hole. Remus scurried down the hall to the classroom to find James sitting atop a desk.

"Moony," James addressed Remus.

"Prongs," Remus said as he walked over and sat down next to James.

"She's right, you know, I am an asshole. I guess, deep down I just really wanted her to care that I'm with Daphne, to be jealous, to fight for me instead of with me. Stupid, huh?"

"I don't think so. I agree you're an ass, but we already knew that," Remus said with a smile.

"I mean don't get me wrong, I really care about Daphne. I mean she's been one of our best friends for years, and there's definitely chemistry," James said with a rogue grin.

"Enough chemistry to cause the table to combust," Remus said with a laugh.

"I guess I just was hoping that seeing me happy with someone else would wake up some unknown feelings in Lily, but she still hates me. Not that I blame her with the way I just acted. I am an idiot. How could I be dumb enough to mistake her zeal for rules as jealously for me?"

"You're not an idiot. I thought the same thing."

"What?" James said as he turned his head to look at Remus.

"I was in the library this afternoon. I cornered Lily about liking you when we were on rounds. I got the same reaction you did."

"No wonder she was so pissed tonight. A little warning would've been nice, Moony. I wouldn't have been dumb enough to bring it up if I knew you already had. She must think I'm trying to ambush her."

"I wonder how she would get that idea when you corner her in a classroom," Remus said sardonically.

"And back her up against a wall," James said shaking his head in disgust.

"You didn't?" Remus asked in awe.

"Ass," James said as he pointed at himself.

"It amazes me how you get any girls," Remus said shaking his own head.

"Usually when I back them up against the wall they like it," James said with a laugh.

"Just a hint for future reference, I don't think Lily does."

"Really, I hadn't noticed?" James said with a laugh.

"Well you certainly do it a lot," Remus said.

"I like to rile her up," James said.

"Well I'd say it works like a charm."

"Yeah, just a little too well."

***

Lily Evans scribbled down Professor McGonagall's notes down quickly. McGonagall was now covering topics so quickly in her NEWT class that all the students, even Lily Evans, were struggling to keep pace.

Lily jumped slightly when words appeared on her parchment. Words she had not written.

**Sorry about last night**.

She recognized James' untidy scrawl. She looked over at the seat next to her where he, seemingly oblivious to the strange thing that had just occurred, continued to take his own notes. The only hint that he had any inkling of the event was the slight grin on his face as he felt her eyes upon him. She had no choice, she had to write back.

You're not forgiven.

**I deserve that.**

You deserve worse.

**I am sorry, Evans. **

You're always sorry, Potter.

**No I always say I am sorry. This time I really am.**

Well it doesn't matter because I am not forgiving you.

**Evans I am sorry I guess I just wanted to believe you cared.**

Lily bit her lip. Why must he insist on tormenting her? Did he get some sort of sick pleasure from hurting her?

Cared? About what am I supposed to have cared?

**Me. **

Why would I care about you?

**I guess I'm dumber than you give me credit for.**

You're not dumb, Potter. Delusional, maybe? But stupid…never.

**Ha! You're right Evans I'm the tip of the bloody sort; the cream of the crop! **

Good to see your back to normal, Potter.

*****

Lily Evans sat in the library a stack of Charms books in front of her. She was waiting for Aidan MacMillan, a smart Hufflepuff boy who was also a Prefect. He had asked Lily for help on a Charms assignment, although she was not sure why. From what she had witnessed in class, Aidan was proficient in Charms.

"Hey, Lily" Aidan said as he sat down across from Lily. Lily looked up and smiled.

"Hello Aidan," She said as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ears. "What is it you need help with?"

"Charms," Aidan said with a laugh. Lily smiled at his joke. She had always liked Aidan and her and Remus had often been teamed with him for Prefect assignments.

"Well, I gathered that much silly. But it's a pretty broad subject, any particular part you're having trouble with?"

"Charming a beautiful witch?" Lily burst out laughing. It was such an obvious line, such an obvious come on, but he was boyishly handsome enough to get away with it. He said it with what seemed like such sincerity that instead of sounding cheesy, it came across as just plain adorable.

"Well, I've never known a lot about charming witches," Lily said with a rogue grin.

"Ah, but you certainly know a lot about charming wizards," Aidan said.

"Well I don't know about my abilities charming wizards, but I can assure you I've met very few _charming_ wizards."

"Ouch, Evans I'm stung!" James Potter had appeared out of nowhere. If Lily didn't know it was impossible she would swear he had discovered a way to apparate inside Hogwarts. Aidan jumped as well; obviously he had not heard Potter approach either.

"Potter what are you doing here?" Lily asked with an angry glare. She tried to smile reassuringly at Aidan hoping against hope that he would not be scared off by James Potter like every other boy in the school who had ever attempted to flirt with her.

"It's the library, Evans; I'm allowed to be here."

"But yet you never are unless you happen to be with a girl looking for a place to snog?" Lily said raising her eyebrow, challenging him with her coy smile.

"Are you offering?" James said with a rogue grin.

"Potter, why don't you go and bother someone else other than Lily for once," Aidan said as he spun to look James in the eye. Lily had to admire his courage. James looked at Aidan for a moment his expression unclear. Lily though she recognized both anger and jealousy in his eyes, but then again she had thought she had seen love there so clearly she was no expert.

"MacMillan, aren't you late for the Hufflepuff Quidditch practice?" James said after a moment. Being mean wouldn't make Lily any less hostile.

"We don't have one today and since when do you care about Hufflepuff's training schedule?"

"Since I got tired of humiliating your sorry asses every year," James said sneeringly. Aidan rose, presumably to fight James, but Lily had her wand drawn before either James or Aidan could do more than reach for theirs. She was pointing her wand at James, looking murderous.

"Potter, walk away now before I make that impossible."

"Supporting Hufflepuff Quidditch are we, Evans?"

"Potter you know I could care less about Quidditch. I merely go so I can watch someone hopefully knock your arrogant ass off the broom." Lily said with a mock smile.

"Touché Evans, well played. MacMillan," James said with a nod towards Aidan. Aidan seemed immensely relieved as James turned and headed towards the door, but Lily knew it was not over. She would kill Potter when she got hold of him later.

"Sorry about that," Lily ventured with a half smile, trying to regain some of the mood they had had before the interruption.

"It's not your fault; I thought he would be better now that he has Daphne Brown."

"What does Daphne have to do with James being insufferable? I mean there's only so much she can do. It's not like she can babysit him all the time."

"No, I meant about you and the," he paused for a moment, looking slightly embarrassed, "rule".

"What rule?" Lily asked suddenly curious. "A rule about me?" she asked.

"You didn't know?" Aidan asked. "Tons of guys have wanted to ask you out for years and years but they couldn't because of Potter."

"Ha!" Lily laughed. "I seriously doubt that I mean I'm sure he was intimidating I mean no one wants a girlfriend who is stalked by an overly flirtatious marauder but…"

"No, it wasn't that," Aidan interjected. "He threatened physical harm to any bloke who tried to date you, and I mean it's not like he and the Marauders break their promises."

"WHAT?! Are you kidding me? Oh he is so dead!" Lily exclaimed. "Aidan, let me assure you that James Potter has absolutely NO authority over who I date."

"Well, I have to say I'm glad to hear that. I've kind of wanted to ask you out for months, but I'm not that great with defensive spells and I was a little worried about what the Marauders would do. So is there any chance you would want to go out with me, like on a date on Saturday?"

"I would love to," Lily said with what she hoped was an attractive smile. "And don't worry about the Marauders, I WILL handle them!"

******

She expected to have to wait till later in the evening to get Potter alone, but as Daphne was fully immersed in her plans for her first party of the year, Lily was able to catch up with him as he walked back from dinner with the Marauders.

"Potter," she called up ahead to him. All four marauders turned around as she walked up behind them. "A word, please?" she said politely but her tone hinted of a deep, seething anger.

"Quidditch," James supplied. Sirius, Remus, and Peter all laughed at the joke, but one look from Lily silenced them.

"Well, bastard was the one I was thinking of for you, now that you mention it, but I meant a word with you in PRIVATE," she said sending another annoyed glance at the Marauders. Remus, to his credit, attempted to pull the others away. Sirius, like a loyal best friend, would not leave until James signaled that it was alright, and Peter would not leave unless Sirius left. James nodded once, and they all three continued on their way up the stairs, though Peter kept stealing looks back down at them, until Sirius swatted his head.

James followed Lily in silence to an empty classroom down the hall. He marveled silently how often he was finding himself in empty classrooms with Lily Evans lately.

"Right, lets here it Evans." Lily marched up to James and slapped him hard across the face. "What the bloody hell was that about?"

"How DARE you think you have any right to control me!" Lily screamed accusingly, angry tears were now pouring down her face. James racked his brain and came up empty trying to remember a time he had ever seen her so upset.

"Lily? What are you talking about?" James asked concernedly.

"I know damn it! I know all about your stupid little nobody's allowed to date Lily rule!"

"Oh, that," James managed before she launched herself at him.

"What is the matter with you? I am not a piece of property! I was never even your girlfriend! I never belonged to you!!!! You had no right to try and control me like that! What were you planning on leasing me out eventually?"

"Hell no!" James declared as if he was horrified she could have come to such a conclusion. "That was the point I didn't want anyone else to have you."

"You never had me, Potter." Lily said quietly.

"I know that, thanks," James snapped.

"Besides that," Lily snapped, "did it ever occur to you that maybe I wanted a boyfriend!"

"How could I possibly reach that conclusion when I was more than willing but you kept turning me down?" James said with a roll of his eyes.

"I meant someone other than you," Lily sneered.

"I know," James said defensively. "That's why I did it! I was jealous! I didn't want any other guy to have you if I couldn't!"

"You, jealous? Sorry Potter, but I don't buy it." Lily said honestly. She had had enough of his pretending to like her crap. "Why would you be jealous of any guy in Hogwarts when you can have any girl in the entire school?

"Not the entire school," James said seriously.

"I doubt that," Lily said dismissively.

"All but one," James said as he looked meaningfully at Lily. Lily looked back at him for a moment and then addressed once more, looking him straight in the eye.

"You could have had any girl in Hogwarts that you wanted, James." James looked at her for a long moment. His face showed flickers of different emotions including confusion, hope, and finally anger.

"Don't fuck with me, Evans. I chased after you for six years and all you ever did was laugh at me, humiliate me, and make your feelings of loathing damn clear. So don't you dare Lily, don't you dare try and act like I didn't try and get your attention, because we both know it's all I did do." He took a step towards her in his anger as he pointed an accusatory finger at her.

"Oh because you didn't screw with me with this whole nobody's allowed to date Lily thing?!" Lily said as she pushed James' finger out of her face. "Oh and Like you didn't screw with me over the summer!"

"Yeah because I stunned you naked in the bathroom," James said sarcastically.

"You deserved it, you prick." Lily said under her breath, she knew he could hear as they were now standing so close to each other.

"Is that all Miss Evans?" James asked snappishly.

"No it bloody well is not all," Lily snapped back. "I want your word, Potter. You and your Marauders will stay away from Aidan MacMillan! Do you understand me?"

"Why would we bother MacMil…" His face dawned with recognition. It hurt to know that it was not dating in general she was opposed to just dating him. "You're dating MacMillan?" James had a nasty sneer on his face; it would have been better suited on the face of Severus Snape.

"Yes, and I won't have you and the other three terrors harassing him!"

"Bit beneath you, isn't he? I mean you could do a lot better." James said angrily. Lily slapped him across the face for the second time that evening.

"Merlin knows I could have done worse," she said.

They both glared at each other for several silent moments. Neither one moved, neither one blinked. They just glared. On the surface both their eyes burned with anger, ferocious mind consuming anger. But beneath the flames of anger, there was pain in both eyes. Both their hearts were feeling the same thing at that moment, but neither one knew it.


	20. Chapter 20

The man in the shadows watched as his prey moved quickly and quietly around the corner. It really was quite pathetic that the little man thought he was moving about undetected. It was stupid for him to come out of his hiding place at all; surely he knew he was marked for death. Did he imagine that Dumbledore would somehow be able to keep him safe? The whole lot of them placed far too much faith in the old fool's powers; they would pay for that mistake.

The hunter followed silently behind the hunted, curious to see what could have lured him out of safety. Oh, but of course. He should have known it would have been something stupid like love. The poor, sad, miserable oaf was visiting his girlfriend's grave. He must have thought the darkness would protect him. He waited in the shadows for the man to exit the grave yard, he waited to attack.

The man, who was unknowingly in so much danger, wiped a tear from his eyes as he crept back to the safety of his apartment. He would not make it there. As he rounded the corner he saw only the flash of green light, he heard only the high pitched, menacing scream. Benjy Fenwick was dead.

Voldemort motioned to the alley where his most faithful Death Eater was waiting. He had instructed her to stay there while he hunted; he enjoyed the power he felt when he killed. But now, his job was done and he would leave her to her sadistic ways.

"Bella," Voldemort whispered in his most dangerous voice.

"Yes, master" Bellatrix answered eagerly as she appeared at his side.

"Make sure Dumbledore knows about Fenwick, make sure they all know. Have fun with it," he said as they shared a look of understanding. He did not have to elaborate, Bellatrix had a warped and twisted imagination, and she would take care of it.

****

Lily awoke with a groan. It was the Saturday before Christmas Break, the last Hogsmede visit of the term. It was the day of her date with Aidan, and she looked a mess. She had not slept well last night. Her night had been a marathon of dreams, in which Petunia, Aidan, Severus, Dora, Alice, and Potter all weaved in and out. Her hair was a predictable rat's nest atop her head, most likely the result of much tossing and turning. She pulled the small mirror off her bedside table to examine her reflection. It was as she had feared. She had large dark circles under high, made even more noticeable by her always fair complexion. Her lips were chapped and even had a slight bit of dried blood on them. She felt hideous.

"Bloody hell," Alice said as she opened the curtains surrounding her friend's bed and took in her appearance. Alice never was one to beat around the bush.

"Thanks," Lily said snappishly. "I was going to ask you if it was really as bad as I think, but clearly it is."

"Oh, calm down Lily," Alice said as she plopped down on the bed, "and I'll fix you up somehow."

"Oh, gee, thanks" Lily said sarcastically.

"I'm your best friend Lily. If you want a parrot that's going to tell you everything you want to hear than get one of those," Alice said with a rogue grin.

"That makes absolutely no sense," Lily said laughing at her friend. Lily had take Alice to a muggle zoo once before, but Alice still had little understanding of muggle animals. "A parrot repeats what you say Ali, it doesn't tell you what you want to hear."

"Oh, well then if you want a sycophant shall I go fetch Peter from the boy's room," Alice said with a laugh. "OW! That hurt, Lily!" Alice exclaimed as Lily whacked her across the head with her pillow.

"You deserved it. That wasn't very nice, Peter seems like a nice enough guy, just a little shy."

"I know he is. I was only teasing. Let's get you up and try and make you beautiful. I mean I know I can work magic, but this is stretching the limits of any magical ability." Alice said with a laugh.

******

Lily had to admit that her best friend was a genius, as she studied her reflection in the prefect bathroom. It had taken an hour and a half, but Alice had polished and buffed seemingly every surface of Lily's body. She was wearing an ivy green sweater mini-dress that matched the exact color of her eyes. She had on a pair of black tights, because after all it was December and it was cold, and a pair of black boots. Alice had used a pretty green ribbon to tie up part of her hair so that she still, "had the illusion of having your hair down, but it also accentuates your face." Alice had applied a slight amount of blush to give her a little extra color on this drab winter day, and Lily had complemented this with just a dash of eye makeup and her favorite lip gloss.

****

James placed the money on the bar and scooped up the two butterbeer bottles into his hands and made his way back over to the table he was sharing with Daphne. He slid into the booth beside her and kissed her lightly on the cheek. He was not, as Daphne believed, just being especially romantic today, but merely doing everything in his power to avoid staring and grumbling in the direction of Lily and that prat MacMillan. Daphne snuggled under his arm and he placed another perfunctory kiss atop her head. He hated himself for this. He genuinely cared for Daphne and she deserved better than a boyfriend who was battling with himself not to go over there and punch another girl's date.

"You're awfully quiet today?" Daphne mused as she turned to study James' face.

"Yeah, I just don't feel too swift. I guess I'm just tired and ready for break to begin next week."

"I think we all are. So are the marauders planning any last minute pranks before the holidays?"

"Ha! Daph, you know I can't tell you anything! I mean, Sirius is my best friend, but I wouldn't put it past him to cut my tongue out if I revealed a Marauder secret."

"Hmmm well we wouldn't want that, not when that tongue is talented at other things…" She was not given the chance to elaborate on that idea any further, because James had pulled her into a deep and passionate kiss. Daphne did not push the matter, she would be quite content to stay in the booth and snog James senseless the rest of the afternoon.

Lily sat across the table from Aidan wishing that James would stop fondling Daphne in public; it was making it very difficult to focus on what Aidan was saying.

"So what are your plans for Christmas, Lily?" Aidan asked and to Lily's surprise he seemed genuinely interested.

"I don't really have any. I usually stay at Hogwarts, but I didn't sign up this year because I thought I'd be going home for my sister's wedding. So… I don't know I guess I'm just going to hang out at my flat and make cookies and stuff."

"Gosh, Lily, I'm sorry!"

"Don't be. Honestly it will be fine. I've never minded being alone and believe me being stuck in a cage with nothing at all to do would be better than having to attend my sister's wedding so personally I'm relieved."

"You two sound close," he teased sarcastically.

"Oh the closest of friends," Lily scoffed. "What about you? You have an older brother, right?"

"Yeah, his name's Ernie. You probably don't remember him; he was in his seventh year when we were in our first. He's kind of my best friend though; he's pretty much been there for me always, no matter what. Which is good, because to be honest my parents are pretentious. I mean I know they love us both but they've been climbing the social ladder for as long as I can remember. I think my dad wants to be Minister, some day. Not that he'd ever get it, he's just the Deputy Minister of Magical Law Enforcement now, but everything he and my mom do is about how things look politically. I swear we have reporters from the Prophet in the house more than we do our own relatives."

"Wow, I guess I can kind of relate to that. Like not on as big of scale, but my sister and her fiancée are the same way. She thinks I'm a freak. He's worried about what it will do to his career if anyone finds out the sort of family he's marrying in to. Course I think anyone would be able to tell right away that he is a freak just by looking at him. I mean this man is one of the funniest looking people I have ever seen. "

"I bet he thinks he's attractive too!" Aidan laughed along with Lily.

"Probably, though how anyone could be that blind, I'm not sure." Lily kept smiling and forced any feelings of guilt out of her mind as Aidan reached his hand lightly across the table and gently grasped her own. She welcomed the tingles and butterflies in her stomach as he casually stroked her hand with his thumb. She welcomed them, and she wished very much that she could give in completely to those feelings instead of part of her wondering what it would feel like to be kissing James Potter right now and hear him whispering in her ear, as he was doing to Daphne right now.

****

Sirius, Remus, and Peter made their way through the crowded tavern until they reached the table where there best friend was currently entangled with his girlfriend. Most people would have found another table to give them privacy, or at lease would have subtly announced their presence, and perhaps that would have been what they'd done if Remus had been the one to get to the table first.

Sirius Black slid into the booth, sliding right up next to James and Daphne, and laughingly made kissing noises in James' ear as he pretended to snuggle up next to him. James cursed out loud as he pushed Sirius away from him and Daphne laughed as she scooted down the bench to give James a little bit more room.

"Sorry, Prongs, Daphne," Remus said as he slid into the opposite side of the booth, followed immediately by Peter. "I tried to stop him, but you know how he is."

"I think it's about time we get him fitted for a leash," Peter said laughingly. James, Remus, and Daphne all joined in, while Sirius merely shrugged.

The five friends laughed and talked for several more minutes before Daphne, giving James a chaste peck on the cheek, said, "Well boys, I better leave you to your planning. Besides," she said throwing a cheeky look at James, "I have Christmas shopping to do." The boys waited until Daphne was gone before settling in to the discussion they had been waiting to have all day.

"So have we decided that we're doing an end of term prank, or a beginning of new term feast?" Peter asked interestedly as he motioned to the waitress for refills for all four boys.

"I still say we do both," Sirius said with a rogue grin.

"Padfoot, I don't know if we have the resources to do it," James addressed his best friend with a sad smile.

"Or the clout to get away with it," Remus added. "Dumbledore may have let us off for the thing with the Slytherins but he wasn't happy about it. It's the first time he's ever threatened to involve the Ministry."

"He's already got us on a tighter leash after what happened last year," Peter conceded quietly. The atmosphere around the table shifted subtly. Peter had not meant to bring it up, he was just making an observation. But the truth was Sirius still felt guilty, and Sirius Black had never dealt well with that particular emotion, about the way he had attempted to use one of his closest friends as a weapon, and in doing so had put his very best friend in danger, and Remus, even though he knew it was a stupid though, could not help but wonder if that's why he was included in this group of friends: to be used as a weapons arsenal. James, having heard both boys work through their feelings on this particular issue numerous times, was anxious to avoid another fight, particularly in the crowded bar where people were bound to ask questions.

"Well the point is," James said, more forced than casual, "we don't have the resources. So we have to pick one."

"We could do two small ones," Remus offered after a moment. They all smiled. They all knew Remus was making this offer as an olive branch to Sirius.

"Yes, but where's the fun in that," Peter whined.

"He has a point," Sirius agreed. "We're not really known for our small stunts."

"Exactly, no one would know it was us," Remus stated.

"I've got it!" James said excitedly.

"What?!" Peter and Remus both answered in tones of excitement. Sirius merely took another sip of his drink; he would get excited after he heard the plan.

"Every day this week we do little small stunts, all leading up to the big super prank the night before everyone ends."

"This is the proudest moment of my life," Sirius said solemnly as he pretended to wipe the tears out of his eyes. "Prongs is all grown up, planning pranks all by his lonesome."

"HA HA HA" James said sarcastically.

****

Lily sighed contentedly as Aidan walked her to the Portrait Hole. It had been a good day, full of laughing and hand holding. It was not awkward, at least by first date standards, and she had eagerly accepted when he asked her to be his steady girlfriend. He pulled her to the side as they reached their destination.

"I just wanted to thank you for agreeing to go out with me today, Lily. I had a really great time." Aidan said cheerfully.

"Me too," Lily smiled back.

"Would it be alrightifikissedyou?" Aidan stammered out.

"Sorry I didn't quite catch that," Lily said, though she had a pretty good idea what she had missed.

"Would it be alright if I kissed you?" Aidan said, this time more slowly but still nervously. Lily nodded her encouragement. Aidan stepped lightly toward her and closed the distance between their lips. It was different from kissing James. She was not quite sure how to describe the difference, but it was there. Aidan was much more hesitant, unsure, and gentle with her, than James had ever been. Aidan's kiss didn't leave her feeling breathless like some of James' had, granted she was usually so taken by surprise when James kissed her that she forgot how to breathe, but she did feel a pleasant warmth in her stomach as Aidan deepened the kiss. She knew she was not completely over James Potter, yet, but she was pretty sure that she was on the right track.

****

James Potter held Daphne's hand as they made their way back to the common room. He was playfully trying to discover where she could have possibly hid his present, but he could find no traces of any parcels. He kept his face down, for Daphne's sake, as they approached the portrait hole. He knew that if she saw the look in his eyes as he watched Lily kiss MacMillan that Daphne would know he was not completely over Lily Evans. James squeezed Daphne's hand a little tighter as the climbed through to the common room and hoped with all his heart he would be over Lily soon, he was tired of hurting Daphne.


	21. Chapter 21

Lily groaned as she rolled over in her bed and eyed the cause of her early morning wakeup. An owl, so deep a gray that at first glance he appeared black, was tapping on her window. She groggily swung her feet out of bed and padded over to the window to allow the bird entrance. She took the letter from his offered leg and allowed him to rest in the cage with her owl, Leo, a gesture that was met with a squawk of disapproval from Leo. She ignored both birds as she unrolled the parchment. She knew who it was from as soon as she saw the quick untidy scrawl. Why was Potter writing to her?

**Evans,**

**I hope Onyx found you okay. I didn't have your new address. ****(**For good reason, Lily thought dryly to herself) **My mum about chopped my head off yesterday when you didn't arrive with me and Sirius at home yesterday. Sorry. But, she's right. No one should have to be alone on Christmas, especially this being the first one without your parents. Remus and Peter will be here too this year and my parents always throw this huge ball on new year's eve for their ministry friends, and lots of other people from Hogwarts will be there as well. Mum, Dad, Sirius, and I will be heading in to Diagon Alley this morning to do our Christmas shopping and we'll be meeting Remus and Peter in the Leaky Cauldron around 10. Please come and meet us there. If you don't want to lug all your stuff to Diagon Alley, mum said we could stop back by your flat when we get done shopping and floo it back with us. Please come, Lily. It would mean a lot to ****me**** my mum.**

**Potter**

Lily sighed. This was not a good idea. In the week since her date with Aidan she had been happy. She felt warm feelings in the pit of her stomach when he shyly held her hand in the hallway. She couldn't help but grin when he'd tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She never ceased to be happily surprised when he was waiting for her outside the portrait hole every morning to walk with her to breakfast. She had even stopped thinking of James Potter when Aidan kissed her. She was able to be around James and Daphne now without getting upset, and she knew she was well on her way to being over James Potter. But all that would disappear if she was once again living under the same roof as James Potter, sleeping only a few doors down from him, returning to the place where she had first fallen in love with him. As much as she wanted to go she knew she couldn't.

"Oh, Please! Don't be an idiot," the voice in her head snapped. "What are you going to do? Hide from James Potter for the rest of your life, just in case you might realize you still like him?!"

"No, but there's a difference between not avoiding him and living with him," Lily argued back with herself.

"Lily dear, we live with him all the time."

"Ugh you are ridiculous"

"If I am, then so are you!"

"I am not having this conversation with you… I mean me!"

"If you avoid him now, the next time you see him it's just going to make your feelings for him seem bigger and more important than they really are. If you let them rule your life, than it will only make them stronger!" Lily hated when the voice in her head was right.

"Well," she reasoned, "it's not like it will just be Potter. Black, Remus, and Peter will all be there too. And it's not as if I've ever had any trouble hating Potter when he's with his friends." She knew it was a bad sign that she felt happy about talking herself in to this, but she didn't care. She grabbed a quill and a piece of parchment and scratched back her reply. She had been tired but now she had plenty of energy. It was already 9, if she was going to meet them at 10, she had to get moving!

*****

Lily laughed as she walked down the street with Potter, Black, Remus, and Peter. The Potters were off buying presents for James and their friends, and had left the teens to fend for themselves.

"Or maybe I can get her mirror that will shout rude things at her," Sirius made another suggestion for a possible gift for his mother.

"Hmmm…I wonder if Petunia is expecting a Christmas/wedding gift from me," Lily wondered aloud with a roll of her eyes.

"Now Petunia Evans and that oaf of a fiancé of hers could benefit from one of those mirrors," James said with a rogue grin.

"Perhaps we can go in together on a set of them, Evans?" Sirius said with a laugh.

"The only problem is that I think any mirror would break the moment it saw Vernon," Lily said with mock solemnity.

"That ought to get the message across pretty clearly," Peter reasoned thoughtfully.

"Ah, yes our dear Wormy does have experiences with breaking mirrors," Sirius said, laughing as Peter lunged after him.

"Are you feeling alright, Remus?" Lily questioned. "You don't look as if you're feeling very well."

"Oh…um yeah I'm fine I was sick the last few days of term, I guess all the stress of exams and papers and such. I'm still just feeling a little exhausted." Remus smiled hesitantly at Lily. She was intelligent, and intuitive; and that worried him. He knew that if anyone would figure out the mystery of his health, it would be Lily. Lily noticed his hesitation but she smiled at him nevertheless. She had always liked Remus and while she was curious about what his secret was, she respected his decision to keep it to himself.

"Death Eater alert!" Peter whispered quickly under his breath. Lily felt herself tense for a moment but subtly moved her hand so that she was grasping her wand in the pocket of her robes. It reassured her to know it was already in her hand, if she needed it. She noticed that all four boys had done the same. She was not sure if she was flattered or annoyed that as soon as Peter had sounded the warning that James had changed his position slightly so that every step she took he was still shielding her defensively. Hadn't she proved already that she could hold her own in a fight against Death Eaters? Hadn't she saved his sorry ass from Death Eaters when his own stupidity and ego had gotten him in to a mess before? Clearly, annoyance had won out in the battle between the two emotions, she noted smugly to herself. Coming here had been a good idea, the more she allowed James Potter to annoy her the less she liked him. She shook her head slightly to clear it, she had to focus; danger was a definite possibility

Her wand hand twitched, wanting badly to attack, as they came into view. Severus was there, she wished this would stop surprising her, Lucius Malfoy, Andromeda's other sister, Narcissa, Bellatrix, Augustus Rookwood, and a young Slytherin she knew immediately must be Sirius' brother, Regulus. The seven of them appeared to be standing guard outside Quality Quidditch Supplies, though considering past events that made no sense, and were sneering and making rude comments to all who passed by them. Lily shuddered slightly as she remembered the last time she had been inside the store. James must have been remembering the same instance because his jaw was clenched, his face pale with anger, and seemingly unconsciously he reached out and grabbed Lily's hand. She knew this was not a romantic gesture, but one of both support and protection.

Severus did not see the distinction. He growled, staring menacingly at James, and drew his wand in a flash of motion. James was just as fast with his quidditch tested reflexes, he pushed Lily completely behind him and had his wand drawn all in the same second. Sirius, Remus, and Peter all drew their wands simultaneously. Lily noted that they too all seemed to be hovering around her. Damn them she was every bit as capable of defending herself as James, Remus, and Sirius! She was more capable than Peter! She pulled her wand out of her pocket and glared defiantly at James as she slid into the open, positioning herself between James and Remus. The other Death Eaters, with the exception of Lucius Malfoy, had all drawn their wands as Snape had done so. Though none of them understood his fixation with the mudblood, Lily Evans, they were all itching for a fight.

"Put your wands away," Lucius sneered. "We have a job to do and I won't be held responsible for you getting yourselves into a fight in the middle of the day. There will be plenty of time for fighting later."

"I have unfinished business with the mudblood," Bellatrix pouted. Lily raised her wand, a fraction of an inch higher, to emphasize her willingness to fight the evil cow.

"Put them down!" Lucius commanded. One by one the Death Eaters lowered their wands until only two remained. "Bella!" Lucius glowered. Bellatrix looked mutinously at Lucius for a full minute before slowly lowering her wand. "Rudolphus, lower your wand! It won't look good for you if you get into a family spat, on your first real assignment." Sirius emitted a low growl. He had suspected that his brother would become a Death Eater, but hearing the confirmation was somehow much worse than he imagined. Rudolphus stared angrily at Sirius for another moment before also lowering his wand. The two groups continued to stare each other down wordlessly for another tense few minutes before Richard Potter found them.

"James, boys, Lily, come here now!" Richard spoke sharply. He had his own wand out as he backed away from the Death Eaters once the children had passed him. "You only have an hour or so left before we head home, go get your shopping done."

******

James Potter would never forget that Sunday morning. It was the second day of the holidays and he had slept late, along with Sirius, Remus, and Peter, because they had been up all night speculating on possible reasons why the Death Eaters were gathered outside of QQS.

By the time the four boys made it downstairs for breakfast, Richard Potter was already in the backyard putting up decorations, and Lily was helping Jillian Potter in the kitchen.

"Good morning darlings!" Jillian said happily as she waved her wand and a stack of pancakes made their way to the table. All four boys descended upon them.

"It's almost as if I performed a vanishing spell." Lily mused a moment later as she picked up the empty plate from the table and added it to the pile of dishes she was watching magically. She had finally gotten the hang of it, after having Mrs. Potter teach her quite a few housekeeping charms over the summer.

James had opened the window to allow an unknown owl to hop in with the large package he was carrying. "Mum, it's addressed to you and dad. Maybe it's a Christmas parcel?"

"Anyone who we exchange gifts with would just wait until the party on New Year's like always."

"Well, see for yourself then. It's addressed to "Richard and Jillian Potter with tidings for a Happy Christmas!"

"Hmm…" Jillian Potter muttered as she examined the package carefully. "Well I suppose we'd better open it up." All five teens had gathered closely around the package, anxious to see what it could hold within. None would have ever imagined anything so terrible.

Benjy Fenwick's head. In a box.

Jillian swayed slightly, leading James to summon a chair for his mother to sit in. He worried she would faint or perhaps even die from a heart attack, his parents were by no means young. Lily cried silently into her hand. Remus stared at the head and kept shaking his head, as if trying to make sense of something that no sense could be made of. Sirius balled up his fist and a moment later punched the table, using several profanities to describe the Death Eaters and Voldemort. Peter looked almost as peaky as Mrs. Potter but stared resolutely ahead, willing himself to be brave.

James lost track of time. He wasn't sure if they stood there for only a few seconds or minutes or hours before his dad came in from the backyard and tore them all from their silent reveries with his cry of shock. Richard Potter had always been good in a crisis, and while the shock of a decapitated head in a box on his kitchen table shocked him, he was able to pull back enough to see the bigger picture. In a matter of moments he was issuing instructions.

"Jillian and I have to go see Dumbledore immediately," he said as he waved his wand in several intricate motions, "I'm enacting all the protective wards around the house, but I don't want any of you to leave this house. And I mean it James, Sirius, no leaving the house!" He gently picked up the box carrying the head of Benjy Fenwick, after receiving the nod of assurance from all five teens that they would follow his instructions, and then he guided his wife to the fireplace, where they both disappeared in a flash of green flames.

Lily stared, unblinkingly at the spot where moments before Benjy Fenwick's head had been. She heard Mr. and Mrs. Potter floo to Hogwarts. She saw James, Peter, Sirius and Remus exit the kitchen and make their way upstairs. She heard them, as they left, discussing the significance of the event in hushed tones. She replayed the events over and over in her head searching for something that would make this horrible event make sense, even though she knew realistically that nothing would ever make something this evil make sense. She heard James and Remus yell down the stairs to her, assumedly checking to make sure she had not gone into shock. She supposed she had answered them, as neither one of them had appeared in the kitchen to investigate further. Finally, after an infinite amount of time, she reached her decision. She knew of one sure way to get answers, to obtain the clarity she was searching for so desperately.

She made her way up the stairs to the second floor hallway where James' bedroom, Sirius' bedroom, the guestroom shared by Remus and Peter, as well as the room she herself was staying in, were all located. She heard them down the hall in James' room. She tapped lightly on the door. She heard James call for her to come in and as she entered the room, all the memories of the time she had lived in this very room came flooding back to her.

"Can I speak with you, please?" She knew he would know she was talking to him. James rose instantly and followed her to the bedroom down the hall that she was currently residing in.

"What's up?" he asked with a forced attempt at casualness. He knew Lily had questions, and he also knew he did not want to give the answers.

"Gee, I don't know!" Lily said matching his tone with her false cheerfulness. "I mean it's practically a boring, everyday, and mediocre event that a head arrives in a box in the mail!"

"Okay, so I admit it was a shock, but I don't know why you think I would know anymore about it than you do."

"Because you do."

"I do not."

"I'm not an idiot! Don't think that I don't realize there is some sort of connection between the attacks on the store last summer and Benjy Fenwick's head arriving on your table this morning!"

"It doesn't concern you," James snapped waspishly.

"The hell it doesn't! In case you've forgotten, it was me who was slashed open on the floor of that store! It was me who was left for dead! I was the one who nearly died, because I lost so much blood! I was…"

"I know! Don't think for a minute I don't remember every detail of that day with vivid accuracy. I remember the way you looked when I found you with absolute precision, I can assure you. It was the scariest fucking day of my life, so believe me I remember it well!"

"Then you have to understand why I deserve to know! I have spent the last few months thinking it was my fault! Believing that they attacked me because I'm a mudblood…"

"Don't call yourself that," James said quietly. Lily ignored him and continued.

"I thought they attacked Andromeda because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I thought they had come back to finish the job on me and just attacked her because she was there! That was the only thing that explained why she blamed me, why she hates me now! If there is any information that might say otherwise I deserve to know it!" She said as the tears that she had held back for those long months finally escaped and cascaded down her face. James pulled her into a tight embrace.

"It could never be your fault," he whispered in her ear as he pulled her even closer to him. "It was not your fault. You are too spectacular, too good to ever be responsible for something like this."

"Then why?" Lily asked in a whisper. She did not know why she was whispering, except it felt like the right thing to do, considering how close her and James were standing. James did not answer her right away. He continued to stroke her back and whisper words of comfort into her ear.

"Have you ever heard of the Order of the Phoenix?" He asked her as he pulled away from their embrace and motioned for her to sit on the bed. This had the potential to be a very long conversation. Lily thought for a moment but she could not recall ever having heard of such a thing before.

"No, I don't think so," she answered.

"Basically the Order is a group founded by Dumbledore to fight Voldemort. It's comprised of a select few who Dumbledore recruited and trusts. They come from various backgrounds and because of that have a wide range of contacts. Until recently, there wasn't much or any wand to wand combat between the Order and the Death Eaters. Most of the members of the Order are all older, long time friends and associates of Dumbledore. They fought him, not with their wands, but with their brains and their connections. They spread the word in their various different circles about Voldemort, starting before a lot of people had even heard of him, because Dumbledore believed that the more knowledge people had about Voldemort and his Death Eaters, the less susceptible they would be to his message and the more alert they would be to possible Imperious curses. As Voldemort has gained a wider following and has begun to move more and more into the open, the Order has begun leading an underground movement of resistance. Publishing in newsletters that print the news the Prophet is to afraid to report, placing protective charms over areas where muggles live close to wizards and therefore might be in danger of an attack, and setting up neighborhood watch type groups in areas where there is a high wizarding population in order to help monitor if someone may have fallen victim to various jinxes and curses, most notably the Imperious. Benjy Fenwick was a member of the Order of the Phoenix. Most people would never have suspected. Fenwick was never a model student at Hogwarts, he was always much more interested in playing quidditch then studying. They say he was hit in the head with a few too many bludgers, but I think it was more likely that he was never really that bright to begin with. But Fenwick was loyal, a Hufflepuff through and through, and he never forgot the help that Dumbledore gave him when he first opened his shop. As only a handful of people even knew about Dumbledore's connection to Fenwick, and even those who did would never suspect that Dumbledore would trust Fenwick with any kind of important task, his shop was an ideal place to hide something. See, Fenwick didn't have a obvious contribution to make to the Order. He was never much of a fighter because he had a bad leg from an old Quidditch injury that had had never had fixed properly, and he kind of kept to himself and the only real social contacts he had were with his family and his girlfriend that he had been dating for years, so it wasn't like he could contribute in the area of social networking. That being said he was probably one of the most important members of the Order of the Phoenix. He played the role of bookkeeper. He was almost like what muggles call secretaries. He had a list in his shop that had the name of every member of the Order and what their Patronus took the shape of, because the Order uses Patronuses to communicate, and even if someone is being impersonated via Polyjuice Potion it's not like they can steal someone else's Patronus. So he kept a record of everyone's true Patronus so that identities could always be verified if need be. He also acted as a quasi-messenger for Dumbledore. If documents needed to be transferred to other members of the Order, documents of a sensitive nature that could not be left to owls, Dumbledore need only deliver them to Fenwick and the Order member could pick them up in the store later that day, hidden inside various merchandise Fenwick had "on hold" for that person. It worked a lot better than having people traveling to Hogwarts all the time, for one thing that looks suspicious and its out of the way; whereas people are in Diagon Alley all the time, no one who may or may not have been tracking Order members would think anything of the occasional stop at QQS."

"So what went wrong?" Lily asked quietly. She had sat in awe throughout his detailed explanation of the secret society founded by Dumbledore known as the Order of the Phoenix.

"There was a leak, I don't know who, but someone must have informed Voldemort of the existence of a list and most likely that same person told him where to find it. That's why he sent the Death Eaters to search the store. The rest of the attacks on Diagon Alley were meant as a diversion, to try and hide their real intent. They must have realized pretty quickly that you were a brand new employee and had no idea about the list. That's why they left and Voldemort sent Bellatrix back on her own to get it, she tortured the location out of Andromeda."

"So V-Voldemort," she said with determination. She admired the way Potter and his friends said the name without fear. "He has the list?"

"Oh, yes, he's had it sense the summer. Once they knew who to follow it became pretty obvious that Fenwick was a crucial part of the organization. The attack on his family was meant to ambush him, but who ever their informant was gave them the wrong information that time. Fenwick was never supposed to be home that night, he was away on business. His mother, father, and girlfriend were all at home and were killed. Of course the Prophet still lists them as missing persons, but the Order knew the truth from pretty early on. Fenwick went into hiding on Dumbledore's orders; I don't know how they managed to find him. Dumbledore was his secret keeper, but they say the idiot snuck out from time to time, so I guess it wouldn't have been too hard to find him. I think it was probably Voldemort himself that killed him. Fenwick would have been an important death, and he usually saves those for himself. Sirius thinks the chopping up the parts and airmailing them was probably the work of his cousin, Bellatrix. He's probably right, she's sadistic enough to do it." He looked up at Lily as he finished. She had only interrupted him twice to ask questions, and he wondered briefly she had been able to comprehend everything, after all it was an awful lot of information to take in during one sitting. He should have known that Lily Evans, genius extraordinaire would have no trouble understanding even the most complex of situations. She stared back at him for a long moment with her deep, almond shaped green eyes. He had the feeling she was searching through his soul as she her eyes never wavered from his.

"You're parents are in the Order," it was not a question, it was a statement.

"Yes," he acknowledged quietly.

"And you want to join. That's what Andromeda meant when she said you were excited to join the fight," this too was not a question. She already knew the answer.

"Yes," he acknowledged again.

"But Dumbledore won't let you?"

"He'll let me when I'm old enough. He says I have to wait until I'm 17. Of course my mother would rather I stayed on the sidelines, but I think she and my father have both come to terms with it, finally."

"How do you join?" This was the question he had most feared. He knew deep down in his heart that Lily Evans would not be frightened by what he told her, she was, after all, as much a Gryffindor as he was. She would want to fight.

"Don't be ridiculous," he knew he sounded like a chauvinistic pig, but he would rather Lily be pissed at him now than be dead later. As predicted, Lily flared up at once.

"You're the one who's being ridiculous! I'm every bit as capable as you are! Don't think I didn't notice how yesterday in Diagon Alley you kept trying to shield me. I can take care of myself!"

"I know that! You forget I've been on the receiving end of your wand a time or too. It's not that I don't think you're capable; it's just that it's too bloody dangerous. The Death Eaters outnumber the Order like 50-1. I don't think Benjy Fenwick will be the last member of the Order to die, not by a long shot."

"Then why are you joining?"

"Because sometimes a cause is worth dying for," James answered immediately,

"Well, how do you know this cause isn't worth it to me, too?" Lily demanded.

"Because it's too risky for you, damn it! They are killing muggleborns! Just blasting them right out of the fucking way! How do you think I would feel if that were your head down in that box," James shivered, that idea was to painful to even think about.

"I'd wager you'd feel a right bit better than I did. Besides, you'd get over it. It's not like it'd be Daphne's head." She hated herself for letting that last bit slip out. She was supposed to have stopped talking at 'did'. The rest was just for inside her head. Why had her mouth said it? He was looking at her very intensely. She was suddenly very aware of the fact that they were alone, in her bedroom, already sitting on the bed. She looked away from his warm hazel eyes, begging herself to keep her head.

"I would never get over losing you, especially like that," he said quietly. She turned to face him, after all it was rude not to look at someone who was talking to you and was surprised to see how close he had moved. Their faces were mere centimeters apart. She could feel the desire building inside her, knew the kiss was coming, but she also knew that a pity kiss from James Potter would break her mending heart back into a thousand little pieces. She had succeeded in the one thing she least wanted, she had made James Potter pity her. He felt guilty, she knew, for loving Daphne and not her, and he was trying to pretend for her sake that that wasn't the case, but she knew that it was. She saw him move in even closer, though she didn't know how that was possible. She had only a second to act at the most. She did the only thing she could think of to do. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a huge hug, the type of all consuming hug a girl gives her best friend.

He was surprised, and it took him a moment to recover. But after a few awkward seconds of trying to figure out how he had ended up hugging Lily instead of kissing her, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her even deeper into a hug. He was ashamed of how willing he had been moments before to ditch Daphne and do nothing but kiss Lily Evans for the rest of his life. He knew, of course that was not possible. Lily had only been teasing with him, she had been faking sounding jealous moments ago. After all, how long had he lusted after her only to have her laugh in his face. She was with that Hufflepuff pisshead now, and obviously she had no feelings for James having just dodged his kiss and hugged him instead.

"Thanks for being so nice, Potter" Lily whispered after a moment.

"Anytime, Evans, anytime," James responded.

The hug lasted longer than any normal hug would have lasted. Neither one, believing this was as close to their fantasies as they would ever get, wanted to release the other from their embrace. Both convinced themselves that this hug was a sort of final goodbye to the feelings they were both desperately trying to ignore. A form of closure. But in the words of that wise love philosopher, Sirius Black as he stated them every Halloween, "You can't close the bag, until you've tasted all the delicious candied treats within."

A/N: I realize that scene took up like 7 pages but it was, as I'm sure you might have guessed, a very important one for numerous story lines. I apologize for the delay. I finished this story almost 2 weeks ago but my computer (probably my fault) did not save it correctly. So, I have spent the last week trying desperately to piece it all back together. I also want to say a HUGE thank you to all my wonderful readers who read and comment!! I LOVE hearing from you! And a huge thank you for your patience which has been a big help to me this academic year as I can now say that I have completed my freshman year of college and made the President's List and have a 3.8 GPA so I couldn't have done it without your patience and support so you are much much appreciated!!!!


	22. Chapter 22

James Potter grabbed his broomstick, as well as Sirius', and ran down the stairs and out into his backyard. Sirius had finished setting up the quidditch hoops on either side of the pool, which Remus had uncovered via an advanced unsticking charm, and Peter had retrieved the balls and two extra broomsticks out of the Potter's broom shed. The pool was opened to add a level of excitement to the game. As it was the middle of winter, and it was freezing cold outside, falling off one's broom into the water, or dropping the quaffle and having to retrieve it out of the water would not have been fun. They divided into teams of two, James and Peter vs. Sirius and Remus, and began to play. The two teams were fairly evenly matched. Sirius was on the Quidditch team with James, though he was the Keeper, so he lacked James' speed. Remus was a fair flyer and thus complemented Sirius well, and Peter passed the ball well which made him a well suited teammate for James.

***

Lily watched from her bedroom window as the boys played Quidditch. She laughed as Peter narrowly avoided the pool water, which was sure to be frigid, as he dove for the ball that Sirius had thrown off the mark. He lobbed the ball upward to James who threw the ball into his team's goal. Remus retrieved the ball and passed it to Sirius who scored on the other end. The boys looked like they were having fun, and she wished for a moment that she could join them, but that was impossible. She jumped when suddenly James Potter was right outside her window.

"Want to play?" He asked with a grin.

"Oh, um I can't. I'm just going to get back to work on my essay." She finished weakly. She was blushing though James was unsure why. She smiled meekly and then closed the window back, and retreated back to the desk, where she continued working. She hated that she was so easily embarrassed, but the marauders could not be allowed to know the truth. Lily Evans did not know how to fly. She was, and had always been, terrified of heights. She had, for the first and only time in her life, faked sick to Madame Pomphrey in order to miss flying lessons during her First Year, and thus she had never learned. Sometimes, like right now, she regretted it, and once she had even asked Alice to teach her, but as soon as she got on the broom, her nerves would take over and she would back down.

****

It was 3am and Lily could not sleep. She was reviewing over and over in her mind the moment when James had asked her to play with him and the other marauders. She was sure they had all figured out that she was unable to fly and had laughed at her the rest of the afternoon. More than that, she hated being a coward. She was a Gryffindor, it was not in her nature to be afraid. This, her deepest secret since entering the magic world, had hung over her head for long enough. She was determined to face her fear and learn how to fly. She took a deep breath and marched down the hall. It was imperative this be done at night; she could not bear the shame if anyone else knew.

However, Lily Evans was not an idiot. She knew flying was dangerous and that she could not simply get on a broom and fly away; at least not on her own. She shuddered at the idea of having any type of confidence with Potter, but he could fly better than anyone she knew, and she might as well learn from the best.

She knocked lightly on his door. There was no answer. She knocked again, but there was still no answer. She turned the handle slightly, the door was unlocked. She slid inside the room. It was empty. Where was he? It was three in the morning, what could he possibly be doing at this hour? She quietly padded down the hall to Sirius' room, but as she suspected it too was empty. Of course, Sirius would be with James on whatever midnight jaunt they had planned. She saw no point in even trying Remus and Peter's room; they too would be with James. She returned, not to her own room, but to James' and settled down onto his bed. It smelled like him. She hated that that smell still made her heart melt. His broom was there, in the corner, and she briefly considered just taking it out herself, but she knew that was stupid and reckless. She also considered setting out to find the four troublemakers, but knew that that was even more stupid and more reckless. She glanced out the window, wondering if she might see them.

"Oh, my!" She gasped in surprise. She did not see the boys, but what she did see shocked her. There was a white stag that reminded her eerily of James' and her own Patronuses, and next to him was a big black dog. It was an odd pairing to say the least, and even odder considering they were standing in the Potter's front yard, seemingly unbothered by the relative closeness to humans. She blinked and they were gone. Surely she had not imagined them. They had seemed so real. She wondered if maybe she had startled them, but then she remembered they had both been staring off into the distance, looking in the opposite direction of the house. Perhaps they too were wondering what those idiot teenage boys were up to? She sat down on James' bed and continued to wait.

***

James swore under his breath. He was under the invisibility cloak and has just entered his bedroom. Lily was staring at the spot where he stood, invisible. She was sitting on his bed and appeared to have been waiting for him to return for quite a while. His mind raced through his various options. Lily had seen him under the cloak before, in fact she had even been carried under the cloak before, but she had been so drunk that she had not remembered this the next day. Now, she was undoubtedly sober and had clearly seen the door open and close. He thought fleetingly of trying to escape, but she would see the door open again. She continued to stare at the spot where he stood, until after a moment's hesitation she pulled her wand from her pocket and advanced toward the spot where he stood. He heard her whispering to herself, almost in a chant.

"Please don't be Voldemort, please don't be Voldemort," she repeated over and over again as she made her way to the place where James stood. He thought fleetingly of sliding to the side and letting her walk around the room and only to find nothing there, perhaps she would decide it had been the wind that opened the door. But even as he thought it and gently shuffled his feet to one side, his floor board creaked traitorously. She extended her hand, grasped the cloak, and taking a deep breath pulled it off of the figure it was hiding.

"You complete and utter ass!" She cried as she pulled back the cloak to reveal none other than James Potter. "Do you have any idea how much you scared me just now!"

"I'm sorry. I don't usually worry about scaring people who happen to be lurking in my bedroom. It tends to give me a bit of an advantage! And just so you know, I don't think Voldemort waits for people to find him before he blasts them out of the way!"

"I didn't really think it was him, but you never know! And I wasn't lurking I was merely waiting for you to return from wherever it is you were! I don't suppose you're going to tell me where the hell it was you were."

"I wasn't aware we had an appointment. And for your information I was down in Sirius' room."

"Oh please, don't insult my intelligence! Do you honestly think that I didn't check there when I realized you weren't here!"

"Always the Prefect, little miss prissy aren't you? I guess you forgot we're not at school! And that being the case I can come and go as I bloody well please! I don't need your permission to go somewhere!"

"That's right; we're not at school; which means that you and your stupid little friends are gambling with a lot higher stakes running off on your stupid little adventures here when you don't have Dumbledore and Hogwarts to protect you! I mean come on Potter! Wake up! You were the one who told me you thought other members of the Order would die too; do you really think the Death Eaters' would mind killing you and your friends?"

"We were fine. We are fine."

"What the hell is this thing, anyway?" Lily said raising the cloak she was still holding in her hand.

"An invisibility cloak."

"Obviously," she rolled her eyes, "I meant how did you get it? I mean they're supposedly really rare."

"Family heirloom."

"Well, it certainly answers a lot of my lingering questions about how you accomplish all the chaos you four terrors create. "

"Don't tell anyone," he asked earnestly. "We like a little bit of mystery to surround us."

"Will you do something for me in return?" She asked, returning her concentration to her original task.

"What?"

"Teach me to fly?"

"But you already know how…" his voice trailed off as a memory from five years ago came drifting slowly back to him. "You were sick that day, the day we had our first flying lesson." Lily nodded her head in agreement, but was surprised nonetheless.

"You remember that I was sick? It was five years ago," she asked in a slightly mystified tone.

"It was the day I got my first detention. When you weren't in class that day I found out from Alice where you were and once they handed out the brooms I flew up to the Hospital Wing windows with some flowers I had picked for you. I've never seen Hooch so mad in my life. I think she yelled at me for a good thirty minutes about the danger blah blah blah. I already knew how to fly I don't know why she got so uptight about it all."

"Wait, you got your first detention because you were trying to bring me flowers? I never knew that."

"Madame Pomphrey shut the window on me and told me to get back down on the ground where I belonged."

"I still can't believe you got your first detention because you were trying to bring me flowers," Lily said shaking her head in disbelief.

"Yup, it all comes down to you. It was because of you that my long illustrious career began. Just think, Evans, all these years of yelling at me and it was you who got me started on the path of a common criminal" James concluded dramatically.

"Oh, please, I could hardly take credit for such an achievement."

"Wait a minute, you came here tonight to get me to take you flying!"

"Yeah, so?"

"Well I thought it was stupid and reckless and dangerous to go out at night. I mean wake up Evans we're not at Hogwarts," James said laughingly as he turned Lily's words around on her.

"Oh that's just because…" she glared at James who was laughing as she tried to worm her way out of the situation. "Oh just shut up, Potter," she concluded as she swatted at him with her hand.

****

Lily took a deep breath, attempting to calm her nerves, and glanced at the clock on the wall. It was 5 minutes till 12 and James would be there any minute. He had agreed to be at her bedroom door at midnight to begin her first flying lesson. Lily could not believe she had gotten herself into this. The idea of her flying on a broomstick was just preposterous. I mean she could fall off! She had never been the most balanced or coordinated individual!

The door creaked open behind her causing her to jump in fright.

"Sorry, I knocked but I guess you didn't hear me," James said.

"I guess I was lost in thought," Lily squeaked.

"Evans, are you okay? You seem a bit odd?" James asked worriedly. He closed the distance between them in two long steps and had his arms out, almost as if he feared she was about to collapse.

"I'm fine," her voice squeaked again. James raised his eyebrow in disbelief but did not push the matter further. He knew Lily Evans, if he pushed her to find out what was wrong she would only become angry and defensive.

"Ready to go," James asked. Lily merely nodded her assent. She obviously could not trust her voice. They walked down stairs and out into the Potter's backyard in silence, careful not to wake anyone. Lily wondered vaguely how James had managed to get the other Marauders to go to bed so early, perhaps a sleeping draught?

"Okay, so first things first, extend your hand over the broom and say 'up'" James instructed.

"Wait you mean I'm going to fly right now? Can't we just like go over the theory or something first!"

"Okay, Evans deep breath, calm down. What's going on?"

"I…nothing I just thought we would start more with like the theory first, like in charms how you start with the theory and then the actual charm."

"Evans, I am not going to teach you how to fly unless you're honest with me. What's really going on?"

"Okay, okay! I wasn't really sick during the flying lessons. I'm afraid of heights," she felt her face heat up in embarrassment. She waited for him to laugh but he did not. He held out his hand and she took it, wondering what was going on.

"Do you trust me?" Strangely, Lily realized that she did, she had no doubt that she was safe with James Potter.

"Yes," she answered.

"Good," he said. He grabbed his broom, with his freehand and gave Lily a rogue grin. "Hop on."

"What?"

"I'll be with you the whole time," James assured her.

"But what if…"

"No offense Evans, but you're a hell of a lot bigger than a Quaffle or a Snitch, I think I can catch you before you hit the ground." She glared at him for a long moment before, after taking a deep breath, she climbed aboard the broom. He slid on behind her and wrapped one arm tightly around her waist and placed the other hand on the broomstick. "Hold on tight," he advised her. Lily placed both her hands on the broomstick, feeling both silly and reckless. She reminded herself of one of those muggle girls you see riding with her boyfriend on his motorcycle.

They flew in companionable silence for the first few minutes. Lily was biting her tongue to keep from screaming in both fright and exhilaration. She loved the way the wind blew her hair, the feel of James' arm wrapped securely around her. Up in the sky it was easy to forget that they were simply friends, and could never be more, because he loved someone else, and she was moving on and finding happiness with Aidan. It was easy to relax and feel his arm around her and imagine that it was more than just a protective hold, that it was a romantic embrace. She couldn't help but be reminded of her favorite fairy tale. She giggled at the thought of James Potter as her prince, it was ludicrous.

"What's so funny?" James asked with a smile. He loved hearing her laugh.

"Nothing, it's stupid. I just was thinking about how this reminded me of a scene from my favorite fairy tale."

"Oh, like Beedle the Bard?" James asked.

"Like who the what?" Lily asked laughing.

"Beedle the Bard."

"Um, no idea who you're talking about! The only Beatles I know are John, Paul, George, and Ringo, and while I would not object to them being in my fairytales they certainly weren't what I was thinking of."

"Not The Beatles, Evans," James sighed with a role of his eyes, "Beedle the Bard. He's the one who writes all the stories."

"Oh, well in the muggle world the best ones come from Walt Disney."

"So what's this fairytale about? The one that this reminds you of," James asked.

"Well," Lily said stalling for a moment. This had the potential to become very embarrassing and she knew James Potter would love more material to tease her about, but somehow she didn't care. She wanted him to know. "It's about this princess…"

"Aren't they all?"

"Shut up, Potter. It's about this princess who is the daughter of a sultan in the Middle East and this peasant boy, Aladdin, who falls in love with her. He has a genie and a magic carpet…"

"A broom is much better, magic carpets are so slow."

"Moving on…he has a magic carpet and he pretends to be a prince so that she'll go with him on this magic carpet ride and they fall in love," she felt her face heat up as she realized how he could interpret this and she was thankful that it was dark. "And anyway," she said desperate to keep him from focusing on the last bit of her summary, "I always loved musicals and when I was ten years old, my last year in muggle school before I came to Hogwarts; I got to play the lead in the school play. I was the princess, Jasmine."

James was quiet for a moment. He knew what he wanted to do, and it seemed romantic in his mind but she could laugh at him, tease him mercilessly. He had enjoyed hearing her summarize _Aladdin_, so much so that he chose not to reveal that because of his mother's fascination with muggle books and movies, he had also seen the movie many times. He took a deep breath, he had never sung in front of anyone before, only in the shower, but he had a gut feeling that this would be okay.

"_I can show you the world,_" he sung softly in her ear. She turned to look at him and he was startled to see tears glistening in her eyes as she smiled a glowing happy smile that he had never seen her smile before, and she was smiling it at him. That smile was enough to keep him singing. "S_hining shimmering splendid, so tell me Princess _Lily_ when did you last let your heart decide? I can open your eyes, take you wonder by wonder_ , _over sideways and under,_" he laughed as he heard Lily gasp in surprise as he made a steep turn that did turn them on their sides for a moment, "_on a magic broomstick ride! A whole new world! A new fantastic point of you, no one to tell us NO or where to go, or say we're only dreaming…"_

_"A whole new world, a dazzling place I never knew, but now we're way up here its crystal clear, that now I'm in this whole new world with you…"_ James had never heard a more beautiful sound, than the sound of Lily singing. Her voice reverberated in his heart. "_Unbelievable sights, indescribable feelings, soaring tightly, freewheeling, through an endless diamond sky!" _Lily sang, though her voice shook with laughter. This had to be some sort of goofy dream, because there was no way she was flying through the sky, unbothered by the height, singing "A Whole New World" with James Potter, who could not possibly have ever even heard of or seen _Aladdin_.

"_Don't you dare close your eyes!"_ James whispered into her ear, sending waves of pleasure through Lily's body, her frame shook slightly. She turned to look at him, her eyes still glowing with emotion. She knew this had to be a dream, and while it was a slightly idiotic dream, she never wanted to wake up. This was perfect. And then suddenly, solidifying in her mind that this was a dream, James Potter was kissing her.

It was different from the other kisses they had shared. Whereas before, they had been hurried, frantic kisses, brought about by either James pinning a surprised and shocked Lily to a wall, or a drunken Lily throwing herself at James, this kiss was slow, yet passionate, as if neither one wanted the moment to end. The biggest difference between this kiss and their other kisses, was that they were both kissing each other back with abandon, they both wanted this kiss to happen, and neither one planned on ending it.

James wanted to kiss Lily Evans forever, wanted to lay her back and ravish her, wanted to hear her call his name. He slowly began to push her forward, recline her, as he lowered himself on top of her and began to shower her eyes, her nose, her chin, and finally her neck with kisses. Lily whimpered in pleasure, which only spurred James on. Both were so caught up in the moment, they had managed to forget that they were hundreds of feet up in the air, on a broomstick that as they leaned forward on it, enabling their sky high make out session, was now pointing downward toward the ground, to which they were rapidly descending. It was Lily who noticed their precarious situation, noticed as she opened her eyes wanting desperately to gaze at James Potter, and revel in the fact that they were both finally in the same place emotionally, that the ground was getting closer each second.

"James, the broom!" she whispered, terrified. With true skill, James managed to maneuver the broom to a smoother crash landing than what they had been destined for only moments before. As they both fell off the broom, landing in a field of grass, they both rolled with laughter at the adventure they had just had.

"So much for that 'New World'," Lily exclaimed giggling profusely.

"Well, I have to hand it to you Evans that was a quite an adventure," James said with a smile as the pair continued to laugh. "And between you and me, that's saying something, considering that I am a Marauder, after all."

"No, really?! You mean I, the little prefect goody two-shoes, managed to take a marauder on an adventure!? Surely not, you must be joking, Mr. Potter."

"Surely, I am not Miss Evans. There is hope for you yet! You might actually make something of yourself."

"Oh yes, I'm right on the road to success now, at this rate I could be a vagabond or a criminal, or even a marauder."

"Well, now I wouldn't go that far. We marauders are a special breed, born not made."

"Oh darn," Lily laughed sarcastically. "Well, I guess there's always the criminal life."

"Yes, there's always that."

"Where are we anyway?" Lily asked after a few moments.

"Not far from the house, within walking distance. I guess we better be heading back," James said as he rose to his feet.

"Yeah," Lily agreed as she allowed him to pull her up by the arm into a standing position. They walked a moment or two in companionable silence before Lily asked, "How did you know the story of Aladdin? Know the song?"

"I've seen the movie," James said shrugging his shoulders.

"But, you're a wizard?"

"And you're a witch." James answered matter-of-factly.

"I'm a muggleborn, but you're a ... "

"And I'm a wizardborn," James said as Lily said, "pureblood".

"I don't believe in the whole pureblood thing," James said in answer to her questioning gaze. "I mean strictly speaking muggles are the normal ones, wizards are the ones with something extra in our blood, so it's clearly not pure."

"Well, regardless of what you are, you were raised in the wizarding world, how on earth have you ever seen a movie."

"Godric's Hollow has a good size magical population, but the majority of the town is made up of muggles. Mum loves to read, especially the muggle classics like _Pride and Prejudice_…"

"That's my favorite book!" Lily exclaimed in surprise.

"Must be a female thing," James said with a shake of his head, "but anyway mum belongs to this muggle book club thing with some of the muggle ladies in the village. We have a television and a radio in the house we just keep them in storage most of the time, but we have to keep up with the muggle charade for when mum has company. The ladies all assume mum's around their age, and I suppose she does look it, more so than dad anyway. I guess they all assume dad's 15 or 20 years older then mum, even though there's not that big of a difference. Dad's 79 and mum's 70."

"You're mum was 54 when she had you?" Lily asked in amazed wonder.

"I was a late life blessing," James said with a laugh.

"Or curse," Lily supplied jokingly.

"That's not nice, Evans. It's true, but it's not nice." James said with a smile as they turned in to the Potter's driveway and made their way silently into the house.

A/N: For those who think the singing was cheesy I apologize. I am a musical theatre buff and so are all my friends so it's not at all out of the ordinary for someone to just burst in to song and there's nothing sexier in my opinion than a guy who can sing. If you didn't like the music part I'm sorry but I've been looking forward to this chapter for a long time and I like it. =)


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: I know I promised this chapter a long time ago but it needed a rewrite, the main event remained the same but it needed to be staged differently and some important characters who were not originally introduced until later on needed to be introed here instead. As an apology gift please enjoy not only the story but also links to all the dresses described in the story. Enjoy =)

James Potter opened his bedroom door quietly; he did not want to awaken either his parents or his best friends. He had promised Lily before what originally was to be her first flying lesson that he would tell no one, now he thought silently to himself after seeing how the night had unfolded that had been a very wise judgment call.

"Well, well, well," James sighed at the sound of Sirius' greeting. He should have known it would have been impossible to sneak past the other Marauders, especially Sirius. "You seem to have had quite an exciting night for someone who was 'feeling like bloody hell' earlier. I thought you were going to turn in early tonight, mate?" James saw Sirius' expression was sufficiently smug and he kept smiling a knowing grin at his best friend.

"I couldn't sleep," James said, "so I went on a walk."

"So you just happened to go on a walk and bump into Evans on the way?" Sirius said, his grin widening.

"I… I wasn't with Evans," James said weakly. He knew there was no point in lying, clearly Sirius knew the truth, but his conscious would feel better if he could honestly tell Lily that he had tried to keep the other Marauders from finding out. "I expect she's in her room asleep."

"Is not, you lying prick!" James turned in surprise to see Remus and Peter emerging from under the invisibility cloak. Remus was laughing as he continued, saying, "Pete and I have been watching Lily's room, she just returned as well."

"Had the same dumbstruck grin on her face as well," Peter said with a nod toward the grin that was plastered, unconsciously, on James' face.

"Unbelievable," James said with a shake of his head. "Why were you watching Evans' room?"

"I told them too," Sirius said, as if that much should have been obvious.

"I told him to sod off," Remus said, "but he's like a dog with a bone, I figured it'd be easier to go along with his scheme then try to fight it." Remus gave James an apologetic smile. James knew Remus well enough to know that while Remus would not purposefully destroy James' privacy as was Sirius' habit, his other best friend also found the current situation quite amusing, beneath his show of remorse.

"So are you going to confess or are we going to have to continue with this interrogation?" Peter said as he sat down beside James on the bed. Sirius was perched atop James' desk, and Remus had taken a seat in the chair by the window.

"There's nothing really to tell, guys. Lily and I just went flying."

"Oh please, Prongs. Do not insult our intelligence as Marauders! Clearly it was something more than that or else you wouldn't have lied about going to bed early." Sirius said with a roll of his eyes.

"Maybe I just wanted a bit of privacy." James answered.

"So did you and Evans go on a romantic flight and then finish off with a little horizontal exploration of each other." Sirius waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"He's dating Daphne, Sirius," Peter said.

"Yes, and James is a Marauder. We are creatures not meant for monogamy."

"No, Padfoot, I didn't sleep with Evans."

"Notice he just said he didn't shag her, he didn't deny anything else," Remus stated observantly.

"Fine, we kissed! Are you happy now?"

"Yes!"

"No."

"Don't know."

"Well that's definitive," James said with a sarcastic grin at his friends.

"Well I'm happy," Sirius stated. "I mean Daphne's hot and all but the way I see it you've lived under the same roof as Evans for over a week now without doing anything, that's better than anyone could have expected…"

"Yeah, Padfoot, I'm sure that Daphne is _really_ impressed with him. I mean I'm sure she's thrilled he's made it a whole 8 days without cheating on her," Remus said sarcastically.

"Well, technically Moony, Daphne won't be expecting anything. I mean it's not like anyone but us know that Lily's here," Peter added.

"The man has a point," Sirius agreed.

"You both know that's irrelevant," Remus said shaking his head.

"Remus is right," James said, cutting Sirius off as he began to argue the point further. "I'm a right, rotten, git who is a bloody rotten boyfriend. Daphne does deserve better. And so does Lily. I don't know guys, I mean was I completely crazy to ever think I could move on, that I was moving on with Daphne?"

"Not crazy, just wrong," Peter answered simply.

"I mean I guess I knew on some level that my feelings for Lily would never completely go away, but I do like Daphne, in some ways I need Daphne. I mean for the past 5 years Lily has made fun of me, rebuked me, hated me, called me every foul name under the sun, and each time it's like a fresh blow to my gut. Every time she sided with Snape over me, kissed him, or kissed that idiotic MacMillan, I feel like I'm being stabbed in the heart. When I'm with Daphne that pain is still there but it's less, it's like she's my anesthetic; when I'm with her there's only a dull pain. I really, really want to fall in love with Daphne. On paper she's the perfect girl for me, she's funny as hell, we're great friends, the physical connection between us is great, but…"

"Love isn't like an equation on a piece of paper, mate," Remus supplied. "Sometimes you can have all the right ingredients but it still doesn't add up. The heart wants what it wants."

"Did you get hexed and have your dick turned into a pussy? What the hell is the matter with you, Remus? 'The heart wants what it wants'? You're making me sick." Sirius said.

"Just because the only muscle you've ever thought with is the one between your legs, rather than either the one in your chest or your head…"

"Is your brain really a muscle?" Peter asked, interrupting Remus. James knew he really did not care about the answer; he was just trying to keep the peace between Sirius and Remus.

"Do you three mind? I'm trying to work some things out right now and I'd appreciate the help of my three best mates!" James said.

"We can't really tell you what to do, mate. You have to make up your own mind on this one. As Moony eloquently put it, 'the heart wants what it wants'," Sirius quoted with a ceremonious bow in Remus' direction.

*****

Lily Evans awoke with a smile on her face. She felt like she had just enjoyed the most amazing dream, only to wake up and discover that her dream was real. She had gone flying with James Potter last night, and even more unbelievably they had kissed. She sighed. As the drowsy fog of sleep cleared her brain, and the sun rose outside her window, the smile slid of her face. She should not feel happy, she was a horrible person.

It had been easy last night to forget all about the existence of Aidan MacMillan and Daphne Brown, but now in the harsh glare of morning their existence was all too evident. Lily felt tears sting her eyes as the reality of her actions sunk in. She could feel her own disappointment with herself weighing her down, making her breath come in short, frantic gasps, and even worse she could feel the disappointment of her parents, the shame as they saw that the daughter they had raised was nothing more than a horrible whore.

Daphne. She could not pretend that she and Daphne had ever been great friends. They both possessed such dominant, exuberant personalities that they had more often than not been at loggerheads over the years, but Lily would never have intentionally hurt Daphne. Because Lily knew how it felt. Her first boyfriend ever, her only boyfriend before Aidan, had been a muggle boy in her neighborhood named Bobby Meyers. He was a few years older than her and Lily had had a crush on him for several years, without him ever noticing her. But then during the summer between her fourth and fifth years she had developed from a girl to a woman and Bobby Meyers had finally noticed her. Lily was not stupid, she knew it never had the possibility to be anything serious, just a summer fling, but it was still her first romance. He was her first kiss. A few weeks after they had begun dating Bobby started getting impatient with her, wanting her to do things that she was not ready to do. Lily felt her face heat up with embarrassment merely from the memory alone. The idea of having a boy in her mouth when she was just barely beginning to feel comfortable with tongue kissing was outrageous to her. So she had refused, gently at first, but more and more firmly as time went on, until Bobby found someone else who had no such objections, Petunia. Petunia was tired of having been passed over for her younger sister and so when given the opportunity she struck, forever cementing the animosity between them.

"I'm such an evil bitch," she whispered to herself. "Why do I do these things? Was I really so vindictive as to involve Aidan and Daphne in my twisted web of pain?"

"No," the voice in her head answered. "You were hurting and Aidan made it better, you felt unwanted and unloved and Aidan made you feel special. It's only natural that you would want to feel the way Aidan made you feel. "

"Yeah, well I sure have a fine way of repaying him for all the nice things he did for me," Lily hissed.

"You know you didn't do it on purpose. What's done is done, if you aren't happy with the person you're turning us into, than change it. Be the girl you were before Mum and Dad died, before Severus betrayed us. That girl was a great girl, don't let her die too. Fight for her."

*****

Christmas came and went without much ado. Lily spent a great deal of the holiday in her room, she appreciated how nice everyone was being to her, but the merriment of the holiday was hard for her to take in large quantities, she missed her parents. It seemed like only yesterday when she had received the owl from James asking her to come and stay with his family, but in truth it was New Years Eve, the day of the Potter's Ball, and there was much to do. She watched, as she helped Mrs. Potter in the kitchen, James and Sirius bewitching a sparkling orb to fall from the ceiling at midnight, much like the muggle ball in Time Square. She laughed as she saw Peter get tangled up in the garland he was removing from the Christmas tree, and Remus' ensuing attempt to free him. Her eyes met James' for a fraction of a second, before she looked away and forced herself to watch the cake she was baking in the oven. She remembered all too well the conversation they had had the day before, the first time she had allowed herself to be alone with him since the night that they had kissed.

FLASHBACK!

Lily had tiptoed down to the Potter's kitchen, it was late, but she couldn't sleep. Her mother had always made her a cup of warm milk when she had trouble sleeping, and that was the remedy she was seeking now. She had just begun to heat her glass of milk when James Potter had entered the kitchen.

"Trouble sleeping, Evans?"

"What gave me away, Potter," she had replied with a roll of her eyes.

"Why are you heating milk? Won't it spoil?"

"No, it's the same as when you heat a baby's bottle. It helps you sleep, my mother used to make it for me when I was little."

"Still seems kind of gross to me. I like my milk really cold, with ice."

"To each his own," she said as she handed him the jug of milk. Neither one had said anything else for what seemed like an eternity. Lily knew what she wanted to say, but had no idea how to even begin to broach the subject. Finally, James spoke.

"So are we ever going to talk about the 3,000 kilogram hippogriff in the room?"

"There's not a whole lot to say. I have a boyfriend and you have a girlfriend, and they both deserve better. We both just got caught up in the moment, got carried away. It didn't mean anything." Lily knew she said that last sentence with a little too much force and she wondered if James could detect that she was trying to convince herself of this as much as she was him.

"So we just pretend it never happened?" James asked after a long pause. He knew he could not tell Lily that the kiss that she dismissed as meaning nothing, had a meant everything to him.

"We don't have a choice." James did not respond and after a few moments of awkward silence Lily forced herself to continue. Her voice shook slightly and it was clear her resolve was crumbling. "I know it won't be easy, I mean, it's not like I didn't want the kiss to happen, because I did," James jerked his head up to look at her. She had her face ducked down and was speaking to the table, but what little bit of her face he could see through the curtain of hair was bright red. "But I know what it's like to be cheated on, what it's like to have your heart broken. And I can't be that girl, I won't be."

"Okay. I guess we'll just have to be on guard around each other for a while then, so we don't slip up."

"My thoughts exactly."

END OF FLASHBACK

Lily jerked as she heard Mrs. Potter calling her name. How long had she been zoning out.

"Sorry, what was that Mrs. Potter? I guess I just blanked out for a moment or two."

"Not to worry dear. I was merely saying that if you and Sirius could carry the rest of the boxes of ornaments into the decoration closet, I'll finish off this cake, while the other three boys finish the outside decorations and then all five of you can go get ready."

"Sure," Lily said, as she grabbed a box and took it into the other room.

"James, do you mind taking the box of stuff in for me? I have to run to the loo, and then I'll help these guys finish up outside." Sirius said. James shrugged and went to retrieve the last box of ornaments and followed Lily down the hall.

"When he comes back all pissed off," Remus said after James had disappeared around the corner, "I want it known that I did not support this idea. I was outvoted and as stated in the Marauder Code had no choice but to go along with it."

"But of course, Moony," Sirius said with a wink.

"I don't really think he's going to be mad," Peter said as the three boys headed outside. "I mean it's not like it's the first time."

****

"Sirius," Lily said as she heard him turn into the room. "Can you help me lift this box up to the top shelf?"

"Why don't you just levitate it?" James asked as he sat down his own box of ornaments next to Lily's.

"Where's Sirius?" Lily asked, trying desperately not to feel uncomfortable.

"In the loo," James answered dismissively. "So, why don't you just levitate the box up to the top shelf?"

"There's a lot of stuff already up there," Lily replied. "I didn't want to take a chance of knocking it into anything else. There's a lot of breakable stuff in these boxes."

"Alright, step aside shorty, I'll put them up there." Lily moved to the side and James took a step forward, but even though there was plenty of room still to move forward, he seemed to be suddenly glued to the floor. A quick glance at Lily revealed she was experiencing the same phenomenon.

"Why can't we move?" Lily asked, her voice heavy with the exertion of trying, and failing, to lift her feet off the floor.

"Enchanted mistletoe," James answered. "I thought we had destroyed all of it," he said almost as an afterthought to himself.

"Enchanted mistletoe?" Lily asked, a tinge of anxiety creeping into her voice. She did not like where this was going.

"We made it last year for our before holiday pranks; thought it would be a bit of a laugh to put it up all over the school and watch as random people got stuck, the only way to get free to kiss."

"You're maturity level amazes me," Lily said waspishly. "So what went wrong? Why didn't you do it?"

"Well it never got out of the test phase. We got Daphne to help us and it was supposed to freeze her and Sirius, as they were the two standing right under it but instead when Peter put the mistletoe above them it froze Peter and Sirius. After that fiasco we decided that we needed to destroy them and never ever talk about the event again."

"How did it get here," Lily said a hint of a smile forming at her lips as she watched James' story unfold in her mind's eye.

"We brought them home to destroy them, didn't want to do it at Hogwarts because someone might find them and trace them back to us."

"Of course," Lily said with a roll of her eyes. "I don't suppose there is any other way to get unstuck?"

"We make our charms accurately."

"I was afraid of that. I don't suppose a kiss on the cheek will work?"

"No but a peck might." Lily could not help but laugh at the irony of the situation, forced by magic to kiss the very day after they had both decided they could not allow anything of the sort to ever happen again.

"Might as well get it over with," Lily said with a sigh.

The kiss lasted a mere second. It was as chaste as a kiss between preschoolers, a slight brush of their lips, yet it left them both breathless. Lily's head was spinning, she felt like was going to faint. She noted with relief James had the same look on his face, and she hoped beyond hope that maybe the feeling had nothing to do with the kiss and was merely an after effect of the spell.

"James, Lily," Mrs. Potter called in from the other room, "Are you done in there? It's time for you both to start getting ready for tonight!"

"Yes, we're coming," Lily squeaked before nearly dashing out of the room and up the stairs before James could do more than blink.

***

Lily splashed the cold water from the sink onto her face. It helped alleviate the burning fire she had felt ever since her encounter with James under the mistletoe, but it did not entirely douse it. She checked the time; she had a little over an hour before the guests for the party would start arriving. She carefully cast an impenetrable charm around her head, in order to protect her hair from the cool water, and stepped into the shower.

Lily loathed cold showers, but she had to admit that in this moment the cold water felt wonderful on her feverish skin. Besides she had limited time to make herself beautiful, and she needed all the help she could get.

Once out of the shower she moved quickly into her bedroom where the dress robe she had bought from Madame Malkin's was hanging. She detached the gown ever so carefully from its hanger and stepped into it. She inhaled deeply and performed a non-verbal zipping charm. She used her wonder witch styling gel and a bit of fancy wand work to twist her hair into a formal up-do, and then set about applying her makeup. After she was finished, she moved to stand in front of her floor length mirror and examine her reflection.

The dress robe was one of a kind. It was a beautiful midnight blue that looked stunning on Lily's snow, white skin and bright red hair. It had an A-line bodice that was accented with crystal beading, and a full skirt that was tiered, with crystals accenting the different tiers. She wore her hair half up and half down with the top layer pulled up into twists and curls that cascaded down the straitened bottom layer. She took a deep breath, steadying herself. She had heard the door bell ring several times, so she knew the party had already begun; she checked her appearance once more in the mirror and made her way down stairs for the party.

***

"Guess who!" Daphne whispered as she slid up behind James and put her hands over his eyes.

"Hmm…" James feigned ignorance. In truth he was slightly annoyed. He had just caught sight of Lily, looking stunning, when Daphne had appeared and covered his eyes, therefore blocking his sight of Lily.

"Happy New Year," Daphne cooed as James turned around to face her.

"It's not the new year, yet," James said as he and Daphne rocked back and forth in time with the music.

"Semantics," Daphne said with a laugh.

"You look very nice," James complimented. Her dress was a skin tight floor length coral colored gown. It was accented with a white floral design.

"I'm glad you like it," Daphne said as she pulled closer to him. "I missed you," she whispered in his ear, allowing her tongue to flick it ever so gently. James inhaled a deep breath.

"I…I missed you too," James said, his mind reeling.

***

Lily shrieked with joy as she spotted her best friend entering the party. Alice, for her part, nearly knocked Frank down as she slid out of his embrace and raced to give her best friend a hug. Alice looked like a fairy princess in her light blue dress robes with their floral print. It, like Lily's, was fitted through the bodice and then flowed outward in a floor length skirt.

"You look fantastic!" Alice said, her voice filled with excitement.

"Not nearly as good as you," Lily enthused.

"Ah well, when the raw materials are this good," Alice said with a joking laugh.

"So, how have you been?" Lily asked eagerly.

"Nothing interesting, Frank's mum told us about Fenwick; that must have been terrifying."

"I certainly won't forget about it anytime soon," Lily agreed. Frank appeared with punch for himself and the two girls and the three friends made their way to one of the many small tables set up around the perimeter of the dance floor, in order to catch up.

"I see Sirius brought Marnie Greengrass," Alice observed shrewdly.

"Really?" Lily turned trying to spot the Ravenclaw girl to whom Alice was referring. "I didn't know any of them had dates, other than James of course. Where is she, I don't see her?"

"Right over there," Alice nodded surreptitiously.

"What is she wearing?" Lily gasped.

"Or not wearing," Frank amended.

"Put your tongue back in your mouth, Frank," Alice said half jokingly, half seriously.

"To be fair," Lily said, "I think Frank's question does seem to fit better." And it did. Marnie Greengrass wore pink dress robes that Lily was sure could not have been more than a meter wide. They came only to her mid-calf, and were practically translucent. Lily noted, the cape, like skirt that she had wrapped around her ass in an attempt to make the dress more presentable. "How do you know she's here with Sirius?"

"The Marauders all always have dates to these things," Frank said. "And Alice has a game where she finds the girl with the skankiest dress and sees if she's here with Sirius."

"Never once has it failed," Alice said with mock solemnity.

"So who else is here with the other Marauders," Lily asked.

"Pete's here with Regal Shacklebolt," Frank said.

"Regal?" Alice asked. "How old is she? She's more of Sirius' type isn't she?"

"I doubt Sirius wants to risk that, Regal's brother Kingsley is training to be an auror," Lily said.

"She's not that young," Frank said with a shrug. "She's a fourth year and I doubt after sharing a locker room with Sirius, James, and Daphne for the past year that she's that naïve."

"That's right, I forgot she's on the Quidditch team," Lily said.

"Yeah, she's our newest chaser," Alice agreed with a nod. "Her dress is pretty," Alice added sweetly.

"Yes it is," Lily agreed. Regal's dress robes were not as elaborate as the older girls, but they suited her well. It was simple lavender, silk that fell right to her knee. Her long black hair was loose and flowing down her back. "Is that Leena Sharejoy dancing with Remus?"

"Typical," Alice said under her breath. "Remus would totally waste his marauder status and ask the Head Girl out on a date."

"I'm going to pretend like that wasn't meant as a dig at prefects in general," Lily said with a laugh.

"It wasn't," Alice said sincerely. "I'm just having a hard time picturing Remus and Leena as anything long term."

"Since when have any of the marauders had long term girlfriends," Lily said with a wry smile.

"That's not entirely fair," Frank admonished gently. This earned him a sharp glare from both Lily and Alice. "All I'm saying is I don't think you can lump all four of them into the same category. I've shared a dorm with the four of them for the past 6 years and I know them. With Sirius what you see is what you get, as far as girls go anyway. He has no desire for a long term relationship, he merely wants to live his life to fullest, and have fun. James, on the other hand…"

"Was no better than Sirius until he started dating Daphne," Lily interjected. Alice nodded vigorously in agreement.

"But the difference was that while Sirius seemed willing to shag a different girl every night for all eternity, James just seemed to be using the other girls to pass the time while he was waiting for…"

"Lily." Alice concluded.

"The right person," Frank said at the same time. Lily showed no sign of hearing either of them, and merely waited for Frank to continue.

"I have no doubt that when James finds the right person," Frank said, shooting Alice a warning glare, "he won't have the slightest problem in committing and giving up playing the field. Remus is different. He's not like Sirius, he'll date a girl on and off, and it always seems to be about more than just sex, but it's like there's something keeping him from getting to serious, something always makes him keep things casual. And then there's Peter…"

"Who doesn't really fit in at all with the rest of them as far as exploits with women are concerned," Alice said.

"Pete's not as innocent as you would think," Frank said.

"Yeah right," Alice said dismissively.

"He's right," Lily said. "I've noticed that over the past few weeks. It's not something I can put my finger on, but Peter doesn't seem to really be as much as a sycophant as we always thought," she said addressing Alice. "I mean he is a marauder after all, it makes sense that he has something to offer to the group, even if it isn't obvious."

"Okay, okay" Alice conceded, "I suppose you both are right, oh wise ones."

***

Remus laughed as he spun Leena Sharejoy around on the dance floor. He was glad that he had asked the Head Girl to be his date for the evening. She was exceedingly smart, even by Ravenclaw standards, but she was not the least bit pretentious. Remus had always found Leena's outlook on life to be rather refreshing, but it seemed even more so in these dark and dangerous times.

Leena was not naïve, she saw evil in the world, but she also had a way of looking past it, and seeing the way the world, could, or should be. She was perpetually cheerful, even when others found it difficult. She was creative, and entirely one of a kind. Remus knew that many of the teachers, while encouraging her ingenuity, also tried their best to instill caution in her, for Leena liked nothing better than to experiment with magic, to make the impossible possible. Even Leena's dress was one of a kind, it appeared to be both blue and brown, depending on which way you looked at it, and it had the most unusual of beading, but somehow is suited her.

"Do you have any idea what you'll do after Hogwarts?" Remus asked as they swayed in time with the music.

"Oh, a little of this a little of that, I'm sure." Leena answered in her voice that sounded like jingle bells. "I hate the idea of picking one thing to do with the rest of my life. I'd much rather do something entirely different each day."

"Wow," Remus said, aware that Leena never ceased to surprise him.

"What about you, Remus?"

"Oh…um…I don't know. I guess it will depend on the war."

"Yes, that does impact quite a bit of everything." Leena observed.

"I…,"

"Yes," Leena prodded.

"I don't know, I forgot what I was going to say."

"A wrackspurt," Leena said with a laugh.

"A what?" Remus asked confusedly.

"A wrackspurt. I invented them, well I at least named them. It's what makes your head go all fuzzy inside. I named them wrackspurts because it seems like when they strike, you can wrack and wrack your head but the thought is gone forever." Leena laughed her jingling laugh and Remus could not help but join in.

"Excuse me," a man Remus recognized as Xenophelus Lovegood, a Ravenclaw who had graduated from Hogwarts four years previously, had tapped him on the shoulder.

"Yes," Remus asked.

"Do you mind if I cut in? I heard this enchanting lady talking about these creatures, wrackspurts, and I simply must know more."

"Um…" Remus looked to Leena, unsure; he didn't want to agree if she had no desire to dance with Lovegood.

"You don't mind, do you, Remus?" Leena asked. She was beaming at Lovegood, and Remus was sure she had never met anyone as unique as herself.

"Not at all," Remus said with a smile. In truth, he could not imagine two people better suited for each other. As Remus made his way off the dance floor, he was joined by James, Sirius, and Peter.

"Unbelievable," Sirius said shaking his head. "A marauder lose a date to Xeno Lovegood, unheard of."

"Can you imagine how wacky any kid's of theirs would be?" Peter said with a laugh.

"I don't know, they just seem to kind of suite each other," Remus said with a smile.

"Because Pete's right, they are both nuttier that oak tree." Sirius said. "What's Xeno doing here anyway, Prongs. I've never seen him here before."

"He's started this newspaper called The Quibbler, or something like that. It's a resistance magazine, helped along by the Order, prints a lot of the stuff the Prophet somehow misses. My parents have, on Dumbledore's orders, fed him some stories over the past few months." The other three boys nodded, in understanding. None of them said anything for a moment, until Peter, determined to move to a less depressing topic broke the silence.

"What are you going to do about a date, Moony?"

"I don't know, why?" Remus asked as the four boys grabbed pumpkin juice at the bar.

"He's worried you'll take Regal," Sirius said with a laugh.

"I am not!" Peter squeaked. "I'll have you know Padfoot, that Regal seems to really like me."

"Really?" Sirius questioned eagerly.

"Enough," James said with a laugh. "Padfoot, I'm sure Wormtail will give us all the juicy details later tonight, but right now we have to deal with Moony's lack of a date."

"Moony can deal with Moony's lack of a date on his own, thank you very much," Remus said with a laugh, failing to look stern. "My skills with the fairer sex might not be as legendary as Padfoot's but I assure you I can find a date on my own."

"Of course you can," James said. "I was merely wondering who you were going to select as the lucky girl."

"Mary MacDonald is looking awfully sexy tonight in that red dress, and I know Daphne wasn't happy with you that her best friend didn't have a date, so I think I'll do us both a favor and go chat her up for a bit."

"Excellent choice my dear Mr. Moony," James complimented.

***

Lily laughed as she watched Frank and Alice twirl around the dance floor, sometimes just barely avoiding hitting other dancers.

"Lily Evans?" A female voice questioned, as she sat down at the table next to Lily.

"Arabella? Arabella Figg?" Lily asked in disbelief. When the lady nodded in confirmation, Lily gasped. "What are you doing here? I haven't seen you since I was a little girl! Are you a witch?" Lily stammered. Arabella Figg had lived across the street from Lily's childhood home. Arabella was easily ten years older than Lily, and before she had moved out of her parent's house, she had babysat for Lily and Petunia. Still, Lily could not fathom why Arabella Figg would be here at the Potter's New Years Eve party.

"No, I'm a squib," Arabella said quietly as she sat down next to Lily. Lily smiled reassuringly at Arabella, as if to say that she was not the type of person to look down on someone because they could not to magic. After all, Lily's own sister looked down on her because she _could_ do magic. "My parents have known the Potter's for years, old family friends, and Mrs. Potter has always been exceedingly kind to me. She even invited me to join the book club she's in with several muggle ladies in the town. I suspect Mrs. Potter had a role in getting me my new job as well, I'm a file clerk at one of the other lady's husband's law firm."

"That's wonderful," Lily enthused.

"I must admit I'm surprised to see you here. I expected to see you, last week, at your sister's wedding. I am terribly sorry about your parents, by the way. But anyway I was rather shocked that you weren't at Petunia's wedding, she said you were unwell?" Lily knew Arabella Figg well enough to know she was not trying to be nosy, or even rude, she was merely concerned, as she always had been, for Lily's well being.

"Petunia is not a fan of magic," Lily said. "She and I have had a parting of the ways."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Arabella said sincerely.

"It's okay," Lily said shrugging. "To be honest, we haven't been close since I received my Hogwart's letter."

"You have a good head on your shoulders, make sure to keep it during these trying times," Arabella said as she rose to her feet and set off into the night. Lily could not help but marvel at the oddness of her former babysitter. After all, it was not normal to attend a New Years Eve party and leave well before midnight. Before she could dwell on the matter further, her thoughts were interrupted by a light kiss being placed on her neck. For one wild second she thought crazily of James, wondering how in the world he could be so bold as to kiss her here in front of his girlfriend, but in the same moment, almost as soon as the thoughts of James occurred, she realized at once that it could only be Aidan. She laughed excitedly and gave him a hug. She was surprised to see that she still had some feelings for him, but they were tinged now with the guilt of her betrayal.

He led her on to the dance floor and twirled her around and around. She felt giddy, though she was sure part of that was from all the spinning. She wished Potter, her mind registered the fact that in her annoyance she had reverted back to using only his surname, would have told her that Aidan was going to be here tonight. She had counted on having another week to determine what to do about her current situation. As the temp of the music slowed she felt him pull her closer and she willingly rested her head gently on his shoulder, part of her, a big part of her, wanted desperately to be over James Potter, so that she could give her heart to the wonderful boy holding her in his arms; but she knew that was impossible, and she knew that Aidan deserved a girl who could love him wholly and completely, and she was not that girl

***

A/N: Now as promised here are the different prom dresses that were used as inspiration in this chapter. All credit for these beautiful creations go to their designers. just copy n paste the links below into the address bar!

Lily's Dress (Night Moves by Allure 2007 Collection): .?t=1249868913

Daphne's Dress: (Alyce Designs 2007 Collection): .?t=1249869271

Alice's Dress: (Night Moves by Allure 2007): .?t=1249869343

Regal Shacklebolt: (Atelier Alyce Satin Rouge Collection 2007): .?t=1249869434

Marnie Greengrass: (Sherri Hill 2007): .?t=1249869529

Arabella Figg: (Flirt by Maggie Sottero): .?t=1249869609

Leena Sharejoy: (Riva 2007): .?t=1249869666

Mary Macdonald: (La Femme 2007): .?t=1249869732


	24. Chapter 24

In the week since the students of Hogwarts had returned from Christmas break the halls, classrooms, and dormitories had been abuzz with gossip. It seemed everyone had heard that Lily Evans had broken up with Aidan MacMillan. Most had also seemed to notice that James Potter and Daphne Brown had seemed distant during the past week, in some instances seeming completely cold and indifferent. However, the firestorm of gossip was nothing compared to what it was about to become. It was Friday, the end of the first week of the new term. And all hell was about to break loose.

Aidan MacMillan had tried to remain calm. He had tried to put on a brave face. But he had had enough. He had been sitting in the Great Hall eating his breakfast that morning when he had seen it. Lily laughed at something James had said. To anyone else it would have seemed like nothing. Most people laughed at the things James Potter said, in fact Sirius, Peter, Remus, Daphne, Alice, Mary, and Frank had also laughed at whatever it was Potter had said. But to Aidan he saw so much more in that laugh. He felt like a fool, and worse he felt like he had been made a fool in front of the whole school. It would not be hard to get his revenge. After all, various people in both Hufflepuff and the rest of Hogwarts had been trying to get the story of his breakup with Lily out of him. He had, like a gentleman, stayed mum, but those days were over. He turned to his friends, and fellow Hufflepuffs, Katie Finch and Donald Fletchley.

"I have to tell you something," he began.

***

Daphne Brown made her way out onto the grounds where she would have her Care of Magical Creatures class. She noticed some of her other classmates shooting her weird glances, whispers, and snickers, but she merely rolled her eyes, completely unconcerned. One tended to attract a certain amount of gossip when she was dating one of the two most popular boys in school. What did concern her was the sight of her best friend Mary MacDonald, who was by no means an athlete, running frantically toward her. Daphne stopped to allow her friend to catch up with her.

"What in the world is the matter with you?" Daphne said as she began to walk again as Mary fell into step beside her.

"It's all over school about Lily and James," she panted. "I cannot believe you didn't tell me! Is it true?" Daphne felt her blood turn to ice in her veins. She stopped walking so quickly that Mary had to backtrack to where she stood.

"What about Lily and James?" Daphne said. She heard that the ice in her veins had also become apparent in her voice.

"She stayed with him over Christmas break," Mary said quietly. She had not thought about this possibility. It was true and her best friend had had no idea. Daphne's eyes clouded with confusion for one brief moment before she spoke.

"No she didn't. James would have told me that. Where did you hear that garbage?" She tried to sound sure, but she had been surprised to see Lily at James' parent's party. She had just assumed that Alice had brought her along.

"Aidan MacMillan let it slip that that's why he and Lily broke up. You really think it's not true? You did mention you thought it was odd she was there that night."

"MacMillan is full of shit. Of course it's a lie. Alice must have brought Lily with her."

"Alice came with Frank; they had been on vacation together. Lily wasn't with her." Daphne flinched as she remembered that Lily had planned on going home for her sister's wedding, but that after her parents' death it had all changed.

"You think it's true?" Daphne asked Mary in a frantic whisper.

"I think so," Mary said. "I'm really sorry, Daphne."

"Don't, 'I'm sorry Daphne' me yet. I'm not letting her get her skanky claws into him that easily. Daphne turned sharply, and instead of continuing on her way to Care of Magical Creatures, headed back towards the castle. She knew in reality that it was not all Lily's fault; she had sensed that James had seemed distracted, distant even over the past week, but she would not just give up without a fight. She loved him, and over the past few months she had managed to convince herself, and she had hoped him, he was really over Lily Evans. She was not ready to give up on that hope.

***

Alice and Frank sat reclined against the headboard of his four-poster. She was reading the latest issue of _Witch Weekly_; he was working on his homework for NEWT Potions. Across the room James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were engaged in a game of exploding snap. Alice glanced up from her magazine and studied James Potter for a brief moment, before returning her gaze to the article she had been reading. She didn't want to be obvious. Lily had confided in her about everything that had happened between her and James over the holidays. Alice wished she could just call Potter out on his feelings for her best friend, tell him to dump Daphne, and go out with Lily. But of course that was impossible. Lily had sworn Alice to secrecy, not even Frank knew what had happened between Lily and James. Alice was pulled dramatically from her thoughts when she heard the door slam.

"She stayed with you over the holidays?" Daphne said, staring James right in the eye. Alice had to give her credit, she was not yelling. Her countenance remained calm, only her eyes gave away the depths of her anger. Remus stood up immediately and beckoned for Peter and Sirius to follow him. Peter did so at once, Sirius waited for a nod from James and then followed the other two boys out. Frank had stood at the same time as Remus and had begun to walk toward the door when he noticed Alice was not following him, he motioned for her but she pretended not to see. Finally after a moment's hesitation he took a step back toward his bed, swept Alice in to his arms, and followed Sirius out the door.

***

"Longbottom, where the bloody hell do you get off picking me up like that," Alice demanded as Frank sat her down at the bottom of the stairs.

"It's none of our business what James and Daphne talk about," Frank said, as if that much were obvious.

"Yes it is!" Alice said.

"How do you figure that?" Frank asked.

"They are fighting about Lily, Lily is my best friend, and therefore it is my duty to report back to her what they are saying about her." Frank sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Alice," Frank said; his voice was weary. They had had this fight multiple times before. "It's not up to you or anyone else to interfere with James' or Lily's love life. Now I know Lily is your best friend, but she's made it pretty clear over the years how she feels about James, and now he's with Daphne and you shouldn't go trying to cause problems for them." Alice said nothing. Were all boys equally stupid then? How Frank, James, or any other boy could misread how Lily felt about James, how her feelings had changed so drastically over the past few months, was beyond her.

***

Daphne took a deep, steadying breath. She would not lose her temper. If she got mad and started yelling, that was the end. She would not make it easy for James. If he was going to break up with her, she was going to make sure he did it without any help from her. She would not let this turn into a shouting match; she would not give him an excuse to dump her. She had chosen her words carefully on her way up to the dormitory; rehearsed them over and over again in her head. She was ready to play her part; she was ready to fight for the boy she loved.

"Daphne, look…" James began sounding resigned to the fight that was coming.

"No. You listen," Daphne cut him off. "It's not like I am unreasonable James. I've never once given you cause to feel like you have to lie to me. Would it be so hard to just drop me an owl and say, 'Hey Daphne, Lily's come to stay for a few days. Love, James.' That way I might be a little bit better prepared for all the gossip and seedy innuendoes that people are making about this."

"I…wait what?" James was thoroughly confused.

"Well, obviously it doesn't matter to me that Lily spent the holidays at your house. I mean it's not like you two were there alone, the boys were all there as well. And this being her first holiday without her parents, of course she didn't want to be alone. And it's not like I'm not secure enough with myself or our relationship that I would get all suspicious, clingy girlfriend on you; but would it have been so hard to give me a little heads up? I mean come on, James! You had to know what people were going to say about this. I mean I know nothing happened, but do you really think the rest of Hogwarts is going to believe that with your history with Lily. And of course it makes it look even worse since Lily and Aidan broke up. I would just like a little bit of warning in the future before people start throwing accusations at me about my supposedly cheating boyfriend." James felt awful. He was such a prat. Here Daphne was rushing to his defense, she believed in him. She believed in him so much that the idea never even occurred to her that he could have possibly cheated on her, an achievement of gigantic proportions considering his history. He wished he were worthy of her trust. He never wanted to hurt her. "Now", she continued, "I have to go to the library and get started on my homework, but I just wanted you to know that I love and trust you!"

***

James sat in the dormitory, thinking. Lily had been right about him for years: he was an ass. Daphne trusted him. And he had betrayed that trust. He raised his head when he heard the door squeak open.

"Do you mind if we come in?" Remus asked as he stuck his head in through the crack in the door.

"Of course he doesn't!" Sirius said loudly as he pulled the door the rest of the way open and plopped down next to where James was still sitting.

"I thought we'd agreed that barging in was plan B," Remus stated dryly, as he followed Sirius into the room.

"We did. You asked if we could come in. That was plan A! Then I commenced with plan B," Sirius said as if that much were obvious.

"Where'd Wormtail scamper off to?" James asked as Remus sat down on his own four-poster bed.

"He said he had something he needed to take care of," Sirius said with a shrug. "So what happened?"

"We didn't hear any yelling," Remus added.

"I'm shocked Moony!" James said with fake indignation. "I would expect eavesdropping from Sirius or Peter, but you're a prefect."

"We weren't eavesdropping!" Remus said with a roll of his eyes.

"Yeah, we all know Daphne's got a set of lungs on her. We just figured if she was killing you or running your ass over the coals we'd be able to hear in the common room. "

"Well, no she didn't kill me or even yell at me. She's not even mad at me."

"Are you kidding? Daphne Brown was not mad at you for having Lily Evans stay at your house over the holidays?" Sirius asked.

"No, the only thing she was mad about was that I didn't tell her that Lily stayed over. She was just mad it got sprung on her from other people."

"Unbelievable," Sirius said with a shake of his head.

"Yeah, if Sirius had known he could get away with crap like that, he would've settled down a long time ago." Remus said with a laugh.

"Screw you, Moony!" Remus said as he launched a book at Remus' head. "Nothing could ever cause me to deprive the ladies of Hogwarts of me."

"How noble of you," James said with a roll of his eyes. "But anyway I feel like a complete ass. She was going on about how she knew people would read too much into Lily staying at my house, but that she knew nothing happened because she trusted me. I just wish I was worthy of her trust."

"Does she know you?" Sirius said with a shake of his head.

"Thanks mate," James said.

"I only mean that anyone who knows anything about your history with Lily knows that one of two things had to have happened over the holidays and since you are both still alive, obviously you hooked up."

"We did not 'hook up'" James said.

"Yeah the broom nosedived into the ground before they could seal the deal." Remus said with a snicker.

"I am so glad I can count on my two best mates to understand," James said.

***

Daphne slid up against the wall. She was on her way back from the library when she heard Peter Pettigrew, only it didn't sound like the Peter Pettigrew she knew. His voice was harder, more forceful. It was somehow less boyish, and well, Peterish, then she had ever heard it before. She listened more closely. Usually she was not one to eavesdrop on her friends, but she had been looking for Peter, and if she heard something that could be useful in getting what she needed out of him, then that was all the better.

"Hand it over," Peter was saying.

"Why should I?" challenged a boy that Daphne thought she recognized as a first year Gryffindor.

"Just do it," his friend whined. "Do you really want to make him mad? He's a Marauder!" Daphne rolled her eyes. It was really quite sad that the four boys had such an aura about them, but she supposed it came in handy.

"I'd listen to your friend," Peter said with a sneer that Daphne thought worthy of Snape. The boy who apparently thought a great deal about his Fanged Frisbee, gave it one last hopeful tug, but when Peter did not relinquish it, he gave up and ran away with his friend. As he rounded the corner Daphne saw the tears welling up in his eyes. She hesitated. She should tell James what she overheard. Contrary to popular belief James, Sirius, and Remus never condoned the bullying of younger students, at least not younger Gryffindors. Slytherins were, of course, another matter entirely. James and the others would make Peter return the Frisbee the little boy obviously cared a great deal about. She turned to make her way back to Gryffindor tower, but something inside of her stopped her in her tracks. She needed Peter; he was the only one who could help her. She would never be able to convince Sirius or Remus to tell her the truth about what happened between James and Lily; but Peter was a different story. She had intended on having to trick it out of him, but she could always use this incident to black mail it out of him. A voice inside her head, a voice that years later she would wish she had listened to, told her to go to James immediately. It said that there was more to this than just a boy and a toy, obviously Peter was hiding this mean, ugly side of his personality from the other boys. But it just didn't make sense. She knew Peter Pettigrew. He was a sweet, kind boy who was loyal to his friends. Clearly he had just been having a bad day and had let his temper get the best of him. Peter was a good guy, she reasoned, and no harm would come from keeping this incident a secret, of that she was sure.

A/N: As many of you have guessed my computer containing this chapter and the few following crashed and I lost them not to mention my itunes etc. thankfully most of my schoolwork was backed up on a usb drive so most of this time has been spent rewriting chapters instead of term papers. Thank you all for your support and continued patience during this difficult process. Many of you are writers and understand how painstaking it can be to try and recreate a previous draft from memory so again I say thank you for your wonderful support and reviews. I hope you enjoy this chapter, the next one should (barring anymore technological difficulties) be up in about a week.


	25. Chapter 25

Lily Evans sat in her usual corner of the library, flipping blindly through her stack of Charms notes. She had an essay to write, and she had been in the library for over an hour, yet so far all she had managed to accomplish was chewing a dent in her quill and the pitiful opening sentence, "The Auguamenti charm is vitally important in day to day life,". This was pointless. She couldn't think strait, couldn't concentrate on anything, anything other than the muted whispers that were continuing to buzz around her. She had chosen the library as her refuge with the hope that Madame Pince's stern glare would end the roar of gossip surrounding her, but instead it had only managed to dull it slightly.

"Trouble concentrating?" Daphne said, pulling Lily out of her reverie of thoughts.

"What gave me away?" Lily answered with a smile. She looked at Daphne, unsure of exactly what to say, how to explain. "Daphne, I'm really sorry! I should have told you I stayed at James' house over the holidays; you shouldn't have had to find out this way."

"Oh, I didn't just find out," Daphne waved her hand dismissively, summoned a chair and sat down across the table from Lily. "James told me everything awhile ago, I just hate that you have to deal with all this alone. I mean at least James and I have each other. It's just so awful that Aidan is trying to hurt you like this." Lily was unsure how to respond to this so she said nothing.

"Lily I just wanted to make sure you knew that I wasn't mad at you about everything, and while I wouldn't blame you for being furious at James and Sirius, I hope that there are no hard feelings between the two of us."

"Um, I… I'm sorry Daphne, but I think I'm missing something. I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Its okay, Lily, you don't have to be embarrassed. I know how persuasive James can be, especially when he wants something."

"I…um…what?"

"I was so angry when he told me. I was horrified you would think I was in on their idiotic bet," Daphne said with a dramatic role of her eyes.

"Bet?" Lily said clearly confused.

"The bet, aren't you paying attention? The bet James made with Sirius before the holidays, that he could get you to kiss him. Personally, I think that the whole charming the mistletoe idea was a little overkill, but I guess James wanted to have a backup plan in case he couldn't get you to kiss him before. Lily are you okay you seem a little out of it?"

"What…um yeah I'm fine."

"Oh, Lily, you knew right? You did know it was a bet. Oh gosh Lily if you didn't know…if that's why you broke up with Aidan…oh Lily I'm so sorry I didn't mean to be the one to tell you. I feel like such an idiot just gabbing away like that."

"Don't be stupid, Daphne." Lily answered her voice slightly higher, and chirpier than usual. "Of course I knew. I knew from the beginning, Alice had overheard them talking about it. I knew I was going to break up with Aidan but I didn't know how, this just gave me an easy out. Obviously I would never just let Potter kiss me; I mean I think I've made my feelings for him known over the years."

"Great! So, no hard feelings?"

"Absolutely not."

**

The man watched as the woman inside the house prepared dinner as her husband sang one of their old favorites to her. If he had been capable of love he would have found the scene touching, but he was not and he did not. Instead he saw only two murders he wanted to commit but could not; Dumbledore had cast his spells of protection well. He could see the place, but he could not enter its grounds. However, Lord Voldemort was nothing, if not crafty and resourceful. He may not be able to harm these particular members of that blasted Order of the Phoenix, yet, but he could torment their lives, make them know they are next. He cast his spell, sending the perimeter of Dumbledore's protective charms ablaze, and then apparated back to his haven amongst his followers. He had a job for them, if he could not physically harm these two faithful friends of Dumbledore, he would inflict emotional damage beyond belief. They believed their son to be safe inside the walls of Hogwarts, protected by that crooked nosed old fool, but they were mistaken; For Lord Voldemort had faithful servants inside the walls of Hogwarts too, and vengeance would be his.

**

Jillian Potter let out a shriek as the fiendfyre erupted around the perimeter of her home. Richard rose and attempted to make his way outside to defuse the flames.

"Are you crazy?" Jillian shouted grabbing her husband's arm. "You know as well as I do that it was him! We don't know if our protective charms will hold up against fiendfyre, you could get yourself killed!"

"Jill, breath, look outside the flames are staying on the other side of the barrier. Our protective charms are doing their jobs."

"Exactly, which means you will have to go outside of the grounds to put out the flames! He could still be out there; it could be a trap to lure you out!"

"That's too easy for him and you know it. He likes to play with his food before he eats it. He would want to torment us much longer than this before he goes for the kill."

"Don't you see he has been tormenting us? He sent us Benjy Fenwick's head in box! I doubt that was meant to be a gift of happy tidings for a new year!"

"Jilly, I don't have a choice. We might be protected from those flames but the people outside our barrier are not. Would you have me sentence those people to a fiery death, some of them are muggles! They have no chance of defending themselves. I love you now I have to go, it's my job!"

**

"Oh come on Lily, you can't honestly tell me you believe that horrid cow!" Alice exclaimed as she and Lily sat huddled together for warmth by the lake. Lily had wanted to talk in private and as their dorm ran the risk of Daphne or Mary, and the rest of the school risked prying eyes and ears some just wanting the next tidbit of gossip, others craving anything that could allow them a good witty intro into a conversation with the marauders, the only safe place to talk was in the freezing cold, snowy grounds of Hogwarts. They both knew they should at least be walking but the wind had howled so much they could not hear the other. Even the warming charm that had cast did little to help warm them against the icy January winds.

"Of course I believe her! What motive could she have for lying?"

"Oh, gee, I don't know maybe that fact that her boyfriend is in love with you!"

"He's not in love with me. Maybe he was a long time ago, but he's with Daphne now. It's obvious that he's not interested in me."

"Don't make me laugh, Lily. James Potter has been in love with you since the moment you met and he's still in love with you now. Daphne knows that, she's obviously desperate to hold on to him, that's the only thing that makes sense."

"No it isn't. It makes perfect sense that James was being an ass, like usual, and bet Sirius that he could kiss me. He knew I had feelings for him and he took complete advantage of that!"

"How in the world would James know how you felt about him when you don't even know how you feel about him from minute to minute?"

"I know perfectly well how I feel about him now," Lily said angrily. "I feel like an idiot, Alice. There I was going on about how we couldn't let ourselves get carried away, that I couldn't do that to Daphne, and he was just pretending the entire time. I bet him and Black laughed themselves silly over that.

"I don't think that's true. There was nothing pretend about the way he looked at you at his New Years' Eve Party."

"Alice, please don't." Lily said her voice finally breaking with the weight of her heartbreak. "I can't keep doing this. I can't keep letting myself get sucked into his stupid games, because each time it just hurts worse. I know you think Potter likes me but please, it's not helping me get over him. I just need to move on for my own sanity regardless of how Potter may or may not feel."

"Okay," Alice said, nodding her head fervently. "I love you Lily, but can we please go inside now? I think my ass is about to fall off and become its own little tushy shaped ice cube." Lily burst out laughing, which had after all been Alice's intent.

"Of course, I wouldn't want my best friend to be assless."

"Especially when it is such an attractive butt," Alice added with a laugh.


	26. Chapter 26

It seemed as though the Great Hall as a whole breathed in a gasp at the sight of the gruesome headlines. Lily, who had been taking a sip of pumpkin juice, nearly choked as she leaned closer to Alice to examine the article that had caused such a reaction. The headline explained it all.

"**Terror in Godric's Hollow: Potter family subject of attack"**.

Lily turned her head to the spot where moments ago James had been enjoying his breakfast, laughing and joking with his friends. Now he seemed to have disappeared, but it took only a second for her to locate him. It seemed every eye in the hall was no trained on him as he walked determinedly up to the faculty table. Lily could not remember ever seeing a student go up there, but James did not seem to be aware that he was crossing barriers; he had, understandably, only one thing on his mind. As he stopped in front of Dumbledore, the entire Hall fell silent, ears straining to hear details of the conversation, but their efforts proved useless. Professor McGonagall had wisely cast a charm, Lily wondered vaguely if it was of a similar breed to Severus' "Muffliato" charm, that kept them from hearing the conversation.

"When were you planning on telling me, Professor? Are my parents even still alive? Did you think it was best for me to find out like this in front of the whole bloody school?" James yelled, not caring who heard him.

"Potter," Professor McGonagall said in a warning tone. But Professor Dumbledore silenced her protests with a wave of his hand.

"It's quite all right, Minerva. James has every right to be upset. Unfortunately, Mr. Potter, I am afraid that at the moment your anger is quite misplaced. My dear boy, do you really think if your parents were dead I would have allowed you to sit with your friends enjoying a nice breakfast? I would have come to you straight away, in the middle of the night if necessary. I am afraid your mother and I underestimated the Daily Prophet. The attack on your parents' home occurred in the very late hours of the night; neither your mother nor I ever imagined that the Daily Prophet would have the story in time to run it for the morning edition. Your mother preferred that I let you sleep and apprise you of the situation this morning."

"I was on my way down to collect you and Mr. Black just as the paper arrived," Professor McGonagall added curtly.

"You mentioned my mother, but not my father? Is he okay? What happened, sir?"

"It seems Voldemort realized he could not get to your parents because of the strength of the security charms surrounding your home. He, himself, it would appear, based on the strength of the spell, lit the property around your parents' home ablaze with FiendFyre. He knew, as anyone who knows your parents would, that they would not simply stand by, while they were protected and watch as their neighbors both magical and muggle perished. Your mother contacted the ministry for backup, while your father made his way outside. He managed to successfully save the lives of all who were endangered. Unfortunately, Richard is not the young man he once was, his reflexes are not as quick, and he sustained serious injuries from the blaze. He probably would have died had it not been for your mother's quick thinking and assistance. He was transported immediately to St. Mungo's Spell Damage Ward, where your mother is currently with him. I believe Professor McGonagall has already made the arrangements for you and Sirius to set out for the hospital, if you are ready?"

"Yes, sir."

"Very well, Potter. Come with me." Professor McGonagall said as she made her way down to the Gryffindor table. Outside of the charm she had cast James was stunned by the roar of whispers that greeted him, it was like being inside of a beehive, the buzzing hurting his ears. He nodded at Professor McGonagall, a look she seemed to understand at once, as she allowed him to pass her, merely instructing him to wait for her and Mr. Black in her office. He nodded once more and then filed past her quickly and made his way out of the Great Hall.

Lily's eyes fell on Sirius, throughout the exchange between Dumbledore and James his eyes had never wavered from where James stood. Lily knew Sirius considered the Potter's to be family, certainly much more so than his own parents and brother; it was clear James would not be the only marauder devastated by the loss of Jillian and Richard Potter. Therefore, Lily was glad, though that didn't seem to rightly describe her emotion that Professor McGonagall did not forget about Sirius. She stopped by his side at the table.

"Sirius, are you awaiting a personal invitation to join us?"

"No, mam," Sirius said breathing a sigh of relief and rushed after James. Professor McGonagall hesitated, and Lily thought she knew why. McGonagall could not allow Remus and Peter to accompany James and Sirius without permission from their parents, yet somehow it seemed criminal to separate the Marauders at this critical moment. After a moment's pause McGonagall shook her head sadly.

"I'm sorry Remus, Peter, but you both know that I can't let you leave Hogwarts without approval from your parents. If you wish to go write to your parents at once, I will permit you to be late for my class. As soon as you receive word from your parents I will make the arrangements for you to join Potter and Black in London, but until then my hands are tied." She turned to leave, but was stopped by Peter.

"Professor," he squeaked. "Mr. and Mrs. Potter aren't…" he seemed unable to finish the thought. Remus stepped in for his friend, his voice also clearly shaken.

"Dead? Please Professor, say they're just injured."

"Richard is injured, quite severely, but Jillian was unharmed. Now I am afraid I must be going boys. I am sure that James or Sirius will write to you as soon as they know more."

Lily watched as Professor McGonagall made her way out of the Great Hall. She couldn't think right, or even be right. It was as if the sudden news about the attack on the Potters had brought all the feelings and emotions of her own parents' death screaming back to her. She felt as if she was falling into a deep dark whole, as if all the sound was muted, she could almost see the world, see herself, she supposed this was what an 'out of body' experience felt like. She heard Alice yell and cast a charm to slow Lily's fall backwards, was she passing out? She had never passed out before. She tried to tell Alice she was okay, but could not seem to make her mouth work properly. She saw Professor Dumbledore and Professor Slughorn quickly descend from the faculty table in order to help her. Again she tried to tell them not to worry about her, to go and help the Potters, she was not important, but no words formed. She saw Remus, Peter, Daphne, and Mary keeping the throngs of other Hogwarts' students at bay to allow Dumbledore and Slughorn a chance to examine Lily. Frank was holding Alice as she attempted to frantically recount the last few moments of her friends behavior, desperately trying to remember if her friend had mentioned not feeling well.

Lily was so frustrated she could scream, if she could have gotten her mouth to work. She could see how she must appear to all those attempting to help her. Her face was frozen in some sort of mask of pain, except for her eyes which were leaking tears, every few minutes she would jerk or shake as if she were having some sort of fit. She willed herself to snap out of it but she seemed to have lost all control of her body. She felt herself slowly being levitated onto a stretcher which then transported her up to the Hospital Wing.

"Now I can't let all of you in here," Madame Pomphrey said as the small crowd following Lily's stretcher filed into the Hospital Wing. "Only the Headmaster! The rest of you must wait outside!!" Professor Slughorn began ushering the group consisting of Remus, Peter, Frank, Alice, Daphne, and Mary out into the corridor, but Alice would not move. Her face had taken on the look of fury akin to a mother bear protecting her cub; she would not leave her best friend's side. The Hospital matron seemed to realize there was no point in trying to pry Alice from Lily's side, and began her tests on Lily to see what was wrong with her.

**

"Busy morning," Peter said as the teens sat down on the floor outside of the Hospital Wing, awaiting word of Lily's fate.

"Something isn't right," Daphne said.

"I'll say, I've never seen Lily have a fit like that. She's always so calm and collected." Mary said.

"I don't mean that. Well, I do, but not just that. I mean come on, the Potters get attacked and then Lily just drops de… drops…passes out like that! It's not normal. And I for one don't think we can just chalk it up to coincidence."

"I don't know Daphne, I mean the Potters are all the way in Godric's Hollow, and we don't know that there was anything unnatural about Lily's collapse. Maybe she just started feeling light headed and she fainted." Remus reasoned.

"She didn't faint," Alice said gravely as she stepped out of the Hospital Wing and into the corridor."

"Is she…" Frank asked, rising at once to stand by Alice's side.

"Asleep. Madame Pomphrey gave her something. She was poisoned. Apparently it wasn't supposed to work so fast, but Madame Pomphrey said that her increased stress after hearing about the attack on the Potters forced it into her bloodstream faster. It triggered in her some sort of emotional reaction, when she first came to she thought it was her parents, and not the Potters who had been attacked. That's why Pomphrey gave her something she was really out of it, crying upset."

"Who would want to poison Lily?" Frank asked bewildered.

"You don't think MacMillan would try do you," Peter asked.

"No, he may have been mad but he's still a pretty nice guy. Besides he's a Hufflepuff, it's not like they ever do anything that interesting." Mary said.

"Mature, Mary," Alice said dismissively.

"All I'm saying is that my money is on the Slytherins!" Mary responded.

"Snape!" Daphne and Peter both said simultaneously.

"I don't think Severus would hurt her," Remus said.

"He's hurt her before." Alice said venomously.

"Yeah he slashed her open at the QQS over the summer," Peter supplied.

"I know, but remember what James said about that day in Hogsmede?" Remus asked.

"Snape tried to save Lily," Frank answered slowly.

"Exactly. Severus is in love with Lily, I don't think he would ever intentionally hurt her." Remus said.

"He slashed her open!" Daphne exclaimed. She certainly was not Lily's biggest fan but the idea that a fellow student, a fellow Gryffindor, a girl she had shared a dormitory with for six years, had been poisoned was infuriating to her.

"Maybe because he knew that what Bellatrix or the others would do was worse," Frank reasoned.

"I'm with Daphne," Alice could not believe the words came out of her mouth. "The slimy git left her to die in that shop! If James, Andromeda, and Sirius hadn't found her she would have bled out! He's a Death Eater, how do we know that he wasn't trying to kill her. They're attacking muggleborns left and right."

**

"Which one of you miserable oafs did it?" Snape growled furiously.

"Sev, breath, we don't know it had anything to do with us." Augustus Rookwood said, trying to calm his friend.

"Why would we waste our time trying to hurt the mudblood?" Alecto Carrow said with a piglike squeal.

"Yeah, we weren't aimin' at her anyways," Amycus said with a giggle. Snape descended on the Carrows, looking very much like an overgrown bat.

"What do you mean? You blundering fools what did you do to Lily?"

"Relax, Snape." It was Regulus Black who had spoken from the shadows of the Slytherin Common Room. "It was never going to kill anybody. It's a simple poison my mother brew up to cause temporary paralysis and a short-lived emotional breakdown. It was supposed to be in my brother's pumpkin juice, but tweedle dee and tweedle dum over there slipped it into the wrong bloody cup."

"From now on any attempts of any wrong doing get cleared with me!" Snape yelled angrily.

"Ooh who died and made you king?" Alecto squealed.

"I am the highest ranking Death Eater in this school," Snape said in a low hiss to make sure he was not overheard. "The Dark Lord put me in charge of the three of you," he said motioning to the Carrows and Regulus, "if you wish to question his decision, by all means bring it up with him Alecto." Snape finished in his silkiest voice. "If Lily Evans does not pull through perfectly fine, if she has any lasting effects or damages of the slightest, all three of you WILL answer to ME. Now get out of my sight before I curse you all into oblivion."


	27. Chapter 27

"What do you mean she was poisoned?" James yelled. A part of him wanted to find the nearest fire place and floo to Hogwarts immediately, but he knew he could not leave St. Mungo's. His father was still in and out of consciousness, his mother was an emotional wreck; they needed him. But it was physically painful to hear that Lily was in danger, had been hurt, and not be able to see for himself that she was okay. He knew Remus and Peter were not lying to him, but he still ached with the need to be absolutely sure.

"It happened right after you and Sirius went with McGonagall," Peter explained, in what he hoped was a soothing voice. "At first we all thought she was having some kind of a fit, she sort of passed out, but her eyes were open, and she was crying I guess; only I don't really think she was aware of it."

"Alice was freaking out," Remus continued. "I've never seen anyone stare down Madame Pomfrey like she did when Madame Pomfrey tried to get her to leave the hospital wing. She was like a mother hippogriff protecting her baby, she would not be separated from Lily." James nodded slightly. At least someone was there with her, watching over her, protecting her.

"So she woke up? She's going to be okay?" James asked, desperately.

"She's going to be okay." Remus answered carefully.

"What aren't you telling me?" James asked, advancing on Remus.

"It's nothing. It's just that Madame Pompfrey is keeping her sedated, so she hasn't woken up yet. The poison caused temporary paralysis; it could take up to 72 hours to wear off." Remus answered bracingly.

James felt the air leave his lungs, he heard the word temporary, but it didn't matter. Someone had hurt her, caused her to be paralyzed. He knew Lily would think he was being completely self centered, and maybe he was but James did not believe it was a coincidence that his parents would be attacked on the same day that Lily was poisoned. Someone was attacking people he loved, and he would be damned if he let someone get away with that.

**

Lily felt herself emerging from the drug induced stupor, only to find that she was still unable to move anything below her shoulders. She turned her head slightly toward the window; it was the middle of the night judging by the darkness. Yet something was not right. She had heard Alice talking to her, almost without pause, the entire afternoon. She could not respond but the voice of her best friend was still comforting. Alice had explained that Lily had been poisoned at breakfast and that Madame Pomfrey would be keeping her sedated until the temporary paralysis wore off in a few days. But here Lily was awake and she was still paralyzed. Had they made some sort of mistake? Had they only been trying to spare her the bad news? Was she really paralyzed permanently? She turned her head toward Madame Pompfrey's office and study where the matron was surely sleeping at this time of night to call for help or an explanation or something, anything, but she was silenced by the black eyes that met her own green ones. He had been sitting so quietly by her side that she had not realized anyone was with her. But she knew now, she would know those eyes anywhere. It was Severus. She opened her mouth to speak only to realize that her vocal cords seemed to have been affected by the poison as well. She could open her mouth and could manage to painfully force out inarticulate sounds, but even that she could only manage as a whisper. She certainly was not capable of yelling for help, she was completely at his mercy.

**

Severus saw her stir, saw her distress upon realizing she could not move, saw her alarm when she saw him.

"Its okay, Lil," he whispered to her. "Nobody is going to hurt you. I know you're still supposed to be sedated but I confunded Pompfrey so she would forget to administer the next dose of your sleeping draught. I hope you're not in pain; I just had to see your eyes open. I had to be sure that you were okay." He said as he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Overcome by the fact that he was completely alone with her for the first time in months, with no worries about interferences from Potter or any of her other foolish friends, he continued to kiss her face. He kissed her nose, both cheeks, and finally her lips. He was horrified to see that while she could move nothing below her shoulders she was thrashing her head violently, attempting to ward off his kisses. The very idea was painful, and infuriating.

"What's the matter with you?" He demanded in a harsh whisper. "You try and evade my kisses when you know damn well that _I_ love you. Yet if the rumors are true you let Potter do a lot more than kiss you when you were shacked-up together over the holidays." Lily growled a string of incomprehensible responses and replies, and though Severus could not hear the exact words she was uttering her tone and facial expression made the general message of disdain quite impossible to miss.

"How could you do that to me?" Severus demanded. "Not only do you refuse to talk to me, to be with me, you do Merlin knows what with _Potter_? James fucking Potter!" He said shaking her roughly. "It's a little beneath you, Lily. And more skanky then I ever thought you'd be. I get that your mad at me, that you're angry with me but to give yourself to James Potter, the second biggest man whore in the entire school?! Not to mention the added bonus that you knew Potter would piss me off the most. Well point taken. I get it, you are mad at me. You think I was wrong to join the Death Eaters, but that's just because you don't understand. But I promise, Lily, you'll come around, soon you'll understand, and I swear I'll forgive you for the awful things you've done to hurt me. Can't you see I joined up so that we can be together? Everything I do is for you, Lily. This way when the Dark Lord takes over, and he will soon, you'll be protected; you'll be safe because of me, not Potter. I am the one who can keep you safe. No one would dare to harm you, we'll be together forever." He concluded kissing her again several times. She did not squirm away, she was saving her energy, determined that she would get words out if it was the last thing she did. When he finally released her he rose from the chair, and giving her one final kiss on the forehead, told her he would get her the sleeping draught, so that she could return to her comatose state. As he turned to get the draught Lily forced out the words she had been waiting to say. Her voice was harsh and low, the words were spaced out as each one took more effort than the last to force out.

"James… Potter… never…had…to…paralyze…me…in order… to…get…to…kiss…me." Snape blanched from the pain of her words, all the possible implications of her words. But he could not ignore one obvious point she made.

"I didn't paralyze you, Lily. I would never hurt you! But don't worry; I've already punished the people who are responsible for putting you through this. They won't bother you again. Good night, Love." He said kissing her one last time before he administered the sleeping draught to Lily.

**

James reflected on the past week as he sat in the hospital corridor outside his father's room. As soon as he had heard about Lily being poisoned he had frantically sent her a letter. Sirius had read and reread it at least ten times, making corrections each time, because James kept becoming too emotional in each draft and Sirius had wisely pointed out that Daphne, or anyone, might intercept the letter, and Lily had made it clear over the holidays that she did not want anyone to know about their tryst over break. Had it been solely up to him they would have been together by now, but she had been adamant that it was a mistake, a mistake they could not allow to happen again. Somehow this was more difficult than he had imagined, he had after all been denying his desires regarding Lily for the past 6 years, but the few times he had managed to catch her eyes, or would see her watching him out of the corner of his own eye he was sure that she had feelings for him as well, that she did think that what had happened over break was a mistake, that she wanted him too. And that made it 100 times harder to not take her in his arms every time he saw her, the rest of the world be damned. So after countless revisions the letter he had sent to Lily simply read:

Lily,

I was so worried about you when Remus and Peter told me what happened to you. I sat down to write this letter almost immediately, and I hope that it finds you on the mend. I am sure Dumbledore is working tirelessly to uncover the perpetrators, and to be sure they should be tossed into Azkaban immediately. Please write to me as soon as you feel up to it, I don't think I'll completely believe that you're okay until I see you myself, but until then the sight of your handwriting will have to do. My mother sends her regards as well.

James

He had gotten her response, if you could call it that, with the post yesterday. If it were not for the fact that the reply came via his own owl, he would have been sure that she had sent this letter without ever reading his own, as it ignored everything his had said and spoke completely of other things.

**James,**

**How is your father doing? When I think of all the wonderful things he and your mother have done for me, opening their home to me both over the summer and at Christmas it makes me absolutely sick to think of anyone, especially him, hurting them. Please give both your mother and father a hug for me!**

**Sincerely,**

**Lily**

Okay, so admittedly he had said that just seeing her handwriting would make him feel better, but didn't she understand that he needed so much more than that. He needed to see her smile. He needed to hear her voice. And most of all he needed to be absolutely sure that no harm had been done to her.

"James, you're father is ready to see you." His mother said as she stepped out into the hallway. James took a deep breath, he had no idea what this early morning summons could be about, but his gut told him it was not good. He and Sirius, accompanied by Remus and Peter the first few days before they returned to Hogwarts, and his mother had spent almost every waking moment with his father, but early this morning his father had expressed to his mother his desire to see James, and James alone, this morning. She had sent a howler to him immediately to wake him up and he flooed immediately to the hospital, leaving an explanatory note behind for Sirius.

James did not flinch as his father turned his head to face his son. He was not yet used to the deep scars on his father's face, but he knew it could have been much, much worse. And as Mr. Potter had teasingly told Sirius and James the first time they had seen the scars, at least he was better looking than poor Alastair Moody.

"James, come sit with me for a few minutes. I have a lot to talk with you about, son."

"Uh-oh," James said with a forced smile, he was determined to lighten the mood, and "you only call me son when something is really wrong." His father smiled along with him, but otherwise did nothing to reassure James that everything was alright. He merely motioned to the chair by his bed, and James took his seat, with a resolute expression on his face.

"Right now your mother is making arrangements with Professor McGonagall for you and Sirius to return to Hogwarts tonight…"

"No. Dad it's only been a week! Sirius and I are both good students, we'll be able to catch up with our studies! And that's not even the point! We want to be here with you, at least until you get released to go home!"

"James, I want you to listen to me very carefully. I love you and I am so glad that you are my son. Now, I know that you want to stay here with me, but this is not where you need to be. Your education is incredibly important, now more than ever."

"But dad," James interrupted. Richard Potter raised his hand to silence his son's outburst.

"James I am an old man. I will not be around forever and it's vitally important that you learn to take care of yourself. I know you're an excellent student and that you have a great aptitude for magic, but in the real world there aren't any O's or T's, its life or death! As much as I wish you and Sirius and your friends could stay children forever, and that I could protect you from the dangers in this world, I can't my darling boy. War is on the horizon, growing more certain every day, and as much as I may wish I could keep you out of it, I know you well enough that I accept it is impossible. You are a Gryffindor through and through James. You have my daringness and your mother's intelligence and bravery, I'd be a fool to think you'll be anywhere but on the frontlines. Therefore your education is much more important to me than you being here watching an old man heal slowly. And remember this James, during times of war it is hard to trust anyone. That's why it's important to have those few people who you know you can trust with your life, it's the only way to avoid going crazy. Keep Sirius, Remus, and Peter by your side, and the four of you marauders will fight the Death Eaters and keep each other safe. And Lily- I know you two fight like a cat and a dog- but any fool can see that you both care about each other. She's a smart girl, brave, and certainly loyal. I know you would do anything to protect her, but don't be afraid to trust her and let her protect you."

"Dad, are you sure you're going to be okay? I mean I thought the Healers said you would make a full recovery," James said, more than a hint of panic in his voice.

"I'm fine, James. This little incident has just reinforced to me how important some things are. Now we'll have no more talk about such things today. Chin up, smile, your mother should be here in a moment, I believe she was going to collect Sirius from home and whip up a basket of sandwiches. The four of us are going to have a nice picnic lunch before you and Sirius head back to school."

James forced a smile on his face, for the sake of his mother and father. But in truth the last thing he wanted to do was to eat sandwiches and pretend as if the world was a wonderful and jolly place. Despite his father's assurances that he was fine James could not help but feel uneasy about the conversation they had had. He would wait until he and Sirius were back at Hogwarts to tell his best friend everything that had transpired this morning, but the wait to share this with someone, here words of reassurance again and again until they no longer seemed empty, was gnawing at him from within.

A/N: Happy Holidays to all my beloved readers!! I am finally done with FINALS YAY!!! and appreciate all your patience due to my earlier technical difficulties that have caused so many delays. As an early gift to all of you for the season please visit my profile pg. where there is a link to my photobucket account where you can enjoy pictures of all the dresses described in the chapter on the Potter's New Years Eve Ball! I am such a girly girl I know so it wasn't really a chore b/c I did enjoy picking out dresses for all my characters =D


	28. Chapter 28

James could not repress the sigh that escaped his lips. He had known that there would be hell to pay for this decision, but even he had under estimated the force of Daphne's wrath.

"What do you mean you're not going to Hogsmede with me?!?! It's Valentine's Day!! What exactly do you propose I do? Go mope around the Three Broomsticks, or mull about Honeyduke's with all the other pitiful girls without dates?! One of the benefits of having a boyfriend is having someone to spend today with and now your ditching me to do what exactly sit here in the Common Room!"

"I'm not just going to sit here in the Common Room twiddling my thumbs," James said exasperatedly. He had already explained this, but he had a feeling he would be going through this argument multiple times throughout the course of the next hour. "I missed a whole week of classes at the end of January because of my dad, and with Quidditch practice, and everything else going on I haven't gotten completely caught up…"

"You DON'T get to use Quidditch Practice as an excuse when you're the bloody Captain and you're in charge of scheduling the practices!"

"Well the match against Ravenclaw is coming up and we have to win by at least 200 points to clinch the Cup, otherwise we have to win, and we need Slytherin to lose. I can't risk the success of the team, which YOU'RE on by the way, just on account of me."

"We're going to win the Cup, all you little boys have to do is score fifty points, and I will take care of the rest. Chang is crap do you really think HE will beat me to the Snitch?" James noted that Quidditch was always capable of distracting Daphne, if even for a moment, but today she was like a niffler hunting gold. "And DON'T try and change the bloody subject! This is NOT a conversation between a seeker and her captain; this is Daphne talking to her boyfriend James!"

"I know that, I was just merely pointing out…" the look on her face was enough to tell him to shut up; this line of attack was clearly not going to succeed. He knew he needed to change his approach, offer her something, anything to make her stop yelling. "Daphne, I know you're pissed at me," she rolled her eyes as if to emphasize the point, "but I promise you I will make it up to you."

"When, the next Hogsmede trip? It won't be fucking Valentine's Day then!" James felt his mind scrambling, he was going to have to come up with something concrete, she could see through the empty words. "Tonight, I mean obviously I'm not going to let our very first Valentine's Day as a couple go by without doing something," he said, managing to sound sincere despite himself, now if only he could come up with what that something would be.

"You mean you've had something planned this whole time?" Daphne said, her tone softened only slightly.

"Of course, I mean I'd be a pretty rotten boyfriend if I didn't!" James said with a smile.

"Why didn't you stop me from yelling at you? I feel awful saying all those things," Daphne said as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I…uh…I felt guilty about not going today so I guess I felt like I deserved it." He said uncertainly.

"You are soooo sweet. I'm going to have to get you something extra to go with your present today!" Shit, James thought to himself, now he had to get her present to? Having a steady girlfriend on Valentine's Day was demanding.

"Oh, you really don't have to do that," James said.

"Don't be silly! What time should I be back for your surprise?"

"Oh, um, don't hurry back it will take some time for me to set it up," it would take a miracle for him to be able to get caught up on any of his homework today, "just this evening, when you're ready to come back. Have a nice relaxing day of shopping," James said with a smile.

**

James slammed the door to the dormitory having just managed to escape from Daphne as she left for Hogsmede. Thankfully the marauders were still in the room, discussing their various plans for their dates today. Peter had to the mystification of the other marauders managed to score a date with an intelligent Ravenclaw seventh year named Amelia Bones. She was not particularly pretty, but was popular among the other Ravenclaws and had always been nice to Peter. Katie Finch, who was to be honest tired of waiting for her best friend Donald Fletchley to notice her, would be Remus' date. They were both prefects and got on well, and Katie knew that while she would be unlikely to get a long term relationship from Remus, because no one ever had, he would at least show her a good time and take her mind off of Donald. Sirius would be enjoying the company of seventh year, Meghan McCormack, the keeper for the Hufflepuff Quidditch team and daughter of the famous league player Catriona.

"I need your help," James said as he sat down on his four-poster bed.

"I told you she wouldn't kill him, pay up!" Peter demanded of Sirius.

"Damn, Daphne must be going soft in her old age," Sirius exclaimed sarcastically as he handed Peter the galleon.

"What do you need, Prongs?" Remus asked.

"I forgot to get Daphne a present." Peter sighed and handed the galleon back to Sirius, clearly James was not safe yet.

"Never fear Prongs I have a supply of gifts for the ladies in my chest," Sirius said with a wink. Would you like lingerie, perfume, more lingerie?"

"Why do you have lingerie in your chest?" Peter exclaimed.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand Wormy," Sirius said with a roll of his eyes.

"Would you expect the rest of us to understand?" Remus asked as James nodded in agreement. "Because we don't."

"Sometimes things can get torn when things get a little steamy; I find it helps to have extras."

"And girls don't find it offensive that you have a bunch of panties in your chest?" James asked, completely mystified by his best friend.

"They're all new, it's not like I recycle them!" Sirius said indignantly.

"Still!" Remus said, "I find it hard to believe any girl would not be offended if you pulled out a pair of knickers and said 'here honey wear these instead'"

"It's a convenient way to make sure they don't stay around after," Sirius said with a wink. "Prongs do you want some or not?"

"I'll stick with the perfume," James said. "Moony do you think you could pick her up some chocolate from Honeyduke's?"

"Sure, mate. Are you sure you don't want a nice thong to go with that?"

"Yeah, I think I'll pass."

"Thanks, now I just have to convince the house elves to give me food, and then transfigure something into a table for two, and I'm all set."

"Such a romantic," Sirius said sarcastically.

"Really, underwear man, really? I don't think you get to judge James right now." Peter said with a laugh.

**

Lily Evans sat at a table by a window in the Common Room. She could see the last stragglers heading out of Hogwarts down the road to Hogsmede Village. She sighed heavily as she pulled out her Potions book; she had a lot of work to do. Alice had brought her assignments to the hospital wing every day, but Madame Pomphrey irritatingly would not allow her to work on the assignments, citing her need for rest after being poisoned.

"Yet, she's condemned me to sleepless nights for all eternity," Lily muttered under her breath as she stared out the pile of books in front of her, each one with a different essay demanding to be written.

"You too, huh?" Lily could not help the slightly exasperated sigh that escaped her lips as she heard the voice of James Potter. She had tried to avoid him since her conversation with Daphne in early January, yet she seemed unable to escape him. As much effort as she put into avoiding him, he seemed to put just as much effort into finding her.

"What?" Lily had been so lost in her own thoughts she really had no idea what he was attempting to commiserate with her about.

"Geez Evans, you look dazed." James said with a laugh. "I said," he began again, speaking slowly as if to a very dense person, "You have a lot of makeup work too, huh?"

"Oh, yeah, I guess you do too?" Lily asked, trying to keep her tone friendly but at the same time reproachful enough that he would not think he could continue to play her for a fool.

"Mind if I sit," he asked though Lily noted he had already pulled the chair out and had not waited for an answer.

"Sure, make yourself comfortable," Lily said, with more than a little hint of sarcasm.

"I will, thanks," James said with a wink. Lily rolled her eyes and attempted to get back to work on her potions essay. She felt his eyes on her, but she resolutely stared at her paper until at last he seemed to give up and began to work on his own homework. Lily was surprised by how easy it was to work with him at her side, an easy, companionable silence between them. She even managed to successfully complete her potions essay. She stared again at the seemingly endless pile of books, wondering what assignment she should tackle next.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready?" James asked. "I mean it's almost 4:30." Lily, never one to immediately give in to Potter's games puzzled over what he could possibly be talking about. She stalled by grabbing her charms text and heading her roll of parchment to begin that assignment. She could come up with no answer to his madness, and her patience was waning.

"Do I have plans I'm not aware of, Potter?" Lily asked as she continued writing her introductory paragraph.

"Don't you and the rest of Slug's favorites have a Valentine's party tonight?" James asked, attempting to sound innocently interested. In truth he was desperate to know who she would be spending the evening with, who she would dance with, who she would kiss at night's end. And even more desperate to know that it could not and would not be him.

"The party doesn't start until 8." Lily said matter-of-factly. Then, never one to pass up an opportunity to make Potter squirm, she laid down her quill and fixed him with an imperious gaze, "Just how long do you think it takes me to get ready, Potter. Are you implying there's something wrong with the way I look now?" She knew that last bit was unfair. Obviously she would not be going to the Valentine's party in her old pair of sweatpants and the tank top she was currently wearing.

"No!" James said, clearly alarmed that she could have taken offense from his question. "I…I like you in anything you wear. I mean I…" shit how was he supposed to tell her that she was killing him in those big sweat pants and the little tiny tank top, that no matter what she wore he pictured her naked, beneath him, panting his name. That she was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen whether she was decked out in diamonds or covered in stink sap from head to toe. That he was madly and irrevocably in love with her and had been from the moment he first laid eyes on her that day five years ago on the Hogwarts' Express. He had a girlfriend. A girlfriend that LILY had insisted he stay with, even after their sky high make out session over break, and now SHE was taunting him, trapping him. He had no way out he could either say nothing and risk actually offending her if she could even possibly entertain the ridiculous notion that he could find her unattractive; or he could tell exactly how beautiful he thought she was and get told off being a faithless git whose girlfriend was expecting a nice romantic dinner from him tonight on VALENTINE'S DAY. Listening to his own thoughts he couldn't help but think she wouldn't be completely off-base to accuse him of being a faithless git, in fact he concluded it appeared he was turning into a completely faithless git. He was broken from his reverie by his favorite sound in the world: Lily Evan's laughter.

She tried valiantly to hold in her giggles, her eyes watering with the effort, but it was no use they burst forth from her as she could contain them no more.

"You're evil, Evans" James swore as he breathed a sigh of relief and could not help but join in her laughter.

"I'm sorry," she said whipping the tears from her eyes. "It was too easy! You absolutely walked right into it. I couldn't resist! And your facial expression as you were trying to figure out how to weasel your way out of it, I could just see the wheels turning behind those eyes." They each smiled at each other for a moment. It was the first completely unguarded moment they had had with one another since that night on Christmas Break. And for a moment both of them knew that they were each recalling those sweet, brief, stolen moments up in the sky. "So um speaking of the Slug Club," Lily said desperate to change the subject to anything else as she tore her eyes away from James'. Had she looked into his gorgeous hazel eyes a moment longer she might not have been able to stop herself from making a complete fool of herself, more so than he already had, and kissing him right there in front of numerous first and second years mulling around the Common Room, "How come you marauders never joined? I know Slughorn tried to collect you as well our first year?"

James hesitated for only a moment before falling back on the humor he always used to deflect such questions.

"Hanging out with a bunch of teacher's pets isn't exactly our cup of tea, Evans," James said with a wink. A remark like that would have once insulted Lily Evans, it would have riled her up, in fact it was what James was hoping for, but he would not get it. Lily Evans knew James Potter a lot better than she once had. She could tell the difference between his real criticisms of her, the ones that tore at her heart, and his bluster, meant specifically to bait her. She rolled her eyes at his idiocy and smiled a placating smile as she responded.

"Potter, I highly doubt that you and the Marauders have ever given up a chance to be praised and glorified even if it is by a teacher. I mean you're hardly modest." He searched for another explanation but could not find it.

"What can I say? When you're right, you're right, Evans." James said with a sheepish grin, hoping beyond hope that the conversation was over. But of course he knew it wasn't. One of the things he loved about Lily was her determination, she had sensed his reluctance of the subjected, sensed that he was hiding something, and she would uncover what it was.

"Yes, well since I'm right, why don't you tell me the real reason you and Black rejected Slughorn. You know I do believe you two are the only ones who've ever done it." James hesitated. He could not tell her the truth, he had to lie, and he would have to make it a mean lie, a hurtful lie if it was going to force her to give up. He hated lying to her, and he hated hurting even more. But he could not tell Lily that he and Sirius had been willing to join the Slug Club until they discovered that their equally smart best friend Remus was being excluded because he was a werewolf. Slughorn only chose students who he thought would help improve his own power, whose likely advancement in the Wizarding World he could claim credit for. A werewolf was not, in Slughorn's eyes, a worthy candidate for his praise. He would never be able to bask in glory, glory Slughorn could share in. And so infuriated by the blatant prejudices of the old man and their deep sense of loyalty to their best friend, both boys had steadfastly refused the courting of the Potions Master. But that secret was not his to tell, not even to Lily. And so he had to hurt her, even if it nearly killed him. He rolled his eyes at her and looked into her big beautiful green eyes. He tried to force enough venom into his voice that it would be believable, but he was never sure how well it actually worked.

"We don't like to associate ourselves with that lot, there's an awful lot of Death Eaters in that club." She did flinch, but only just. She opened her mouth and he was sure she was getting ready to fire back with some witty retort, but he never heard what it was because at that moment a frightened First Year rushed through the Portrait Hole.

"He's been sighted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You-Know-Who! He's been seen in Dove Town!!!!" Several of the other First and Second years in the Common Room screamed, many looked toward James and Lily for guidance, after all they were older and each held positions of authority. Lily was a Prefect, and James was the Quidditch Captain.

"Bring that paper here," James asked the frightened boy. His first instinct when the First Year had first shouted the news had been to grab Lily's hand, he was relieved that she had thus far not decided it was unnecessary and was continuing to allow the small contact. The First Year retreated back among the other students, none of them wanted to get too close to the intimidating pair of Sixth Years who were legendary not only for their fighting prowess against each other, but for their individual skills. James spread the article in front of him and Lily and they each began to read.

"Dove Town isn't far from here, is it?" Lily asked. She had a vague idea of where the town was located but having not grown up in the Wizarding World, she was not as familiar as she knew James was with its geography. James nodded his head in agreement.

"It's just on the other side of those mountains, no more than 100 km from Hogsmede." He replied. Each was talking in hushed tones, very aware of their audience.

"Hogsmede," Lily yelped. "Everyone is in Hogsmede today!" She whispered frantically to James, tears coming to her eyes as she thought of her best friend, suddenly seemingly in harm's way.

"Shh! Lily, it's okay," James attempted to comfort her. "Lily, listen to me. Everyone is going to be fine. It's not like Voldemort is likely to be hiking the mountain pass. He'd apparate, which means he's never more than a second away from us. He's no more likely to pop into Hogsmede now than he is any other day."

"You're right," Lily conceded. "I was being silly. I guess I can't help but still think the muggle way about some things."

"You're not silly. And you're right the closer he is to Hogwarts is worrisome. For one thing it makes me wonder if he's really as afraid of Dumbledore as everyone says."

"Surely, he would never come to Hogwarts?" Lily stated incredulously.

"I don't know. I'm beginning to think there's not a lot he wouldn't do."

"James," Lily said squeezing his hand tightly and turning to look him directly in the eye. "Please, promise me you'll be careful. I'm not an idiot, I know better than anyone that you and the other boys have ways of getting out and around this castle undetected. And I know that you won't stop, so I won't ask you to because I don't want you to lie to me, but please, please be careful! There's more at stake than just some stupid detention, it could be life or death!"

"Gee, Evans, I didn't know you cared," James said, determined to lighten the mood.

"I don't," Lily said rolling her eyes and turning away from him once more and returning to her school work, taking her hand with her. "I care about your mother and I'd really rather not have to explain to her how you and Sirius managed to get yourself blown to bits just because you idiots were worried about your rum running business."

"Touché, Evans, Touché."


	29. Chapter 29

Lily sighed exasperatedly as she glared at her best friend. Alice had been begging and pleading for a week or more to convince Lily to go with her and Frank to Slughorn's party tonight. But Lily had resolutely refused. Alice assumed that it was because Lily could not go with the person she wanted too, and was therefore adamant that Lily go and have fun regardless. But Alice did not know the real reason because Lily had told no one. Lily was vehemently opposed to going tonight because it would force her to be around Severus, for the first time since his attack on her the night she got poisoned. Obviously she had been around him since then, they shared classes so avoiding him completely was impossible, but tonight would be different, it was a social event, and therefore she could not guarantee that she would be able to avoid him. She had thought the debate over the party with Alice was over, but she should have known better. Twenty minutes ago Alice had returned back to their dormitory and relayed to Lily an exchange she had witnessed between Frank and James.

"James asked Frank who your date was for tonight," Alice said as she plopped down on Lily's bed where Lily was currently perusing a magazine. Lily glanced up at Alice only briefly before returning to her magazine.

"Did Frank tell him I wasn't going?" Lily said with a slight smile as she recalled her exchange regarding the party earlier in the afternoon.

"Are you kidding? I've taught my boyfriend better than that. He just said you didn't have a date."

"Fabulous," Lily said with a roll of her eyes.

"Frank said that James didn't believe him," Alice had smugly.

"What? Why? What did he say?" She waited while Alice adjusted her voice to a lower octave in order to impersonate James.

"Longbottom, we both know that's crap. All Evans has to do is snap her finger and there'd be a line 10 feet long of blokes wanting to be her date."

"Obviously not," Lily said with a snort.

"Don't give me that crap! He's right you could take any boy you wanted."

"Your forgetting one obvious exception," Lily pointed out.

"No, I'm not." Alice cringed only slightly at the ferocious glare of her best friend. "Okay so maybe it would take two snaps of your fingers. One to make him dump our dear darling roommate, and another to have him be at your side for the rest of your life like some little lap dog," Alice said with a smile.

"Okay, number one he obviously does not want to dump Daphne. Number two, really Alice? I highly doubt that James Potter, or any of the Marauders for that matter, would _ever_ be a lap dog to any girl. And number three you severely over estimate the strength of whatever these feelings are that I have for Potter if you really think that having him glued to my hip is a desired occurrence!" Alice had managed to keep a straight face throughout Lily's speech but could no longer contain her giggles, Lily glared for a moment at her best friend before also subsiding into giggles.

"Well, regardless, you have to go to the party now," Alice said with a barely concealed grin.

"What? No! I don't have anything to wear!"

"Yes, you do."

"Um…no I don't."

"I have an extra dress," Alice said with a smile.

"You're three inches taller than me and at least a size, if not two sizes smaller than me. Besides you have no breasts, anything that fits you in the, the booble region is not going to fit me."

"Well, it's a bit of a miracle. This one," she said pulling a dress from her closet, "just happens to be your size."

And so now Lily was sitting glaring at her friend in a mix of awe and frustration.

"And why exactly do you have a dress that's my size?" Lily said after a few moments of contemplation.

"That's the funny thing about miracles, Lil, there are no explanations."

"Yeah, the miracles of the dress fairy can never be explained."

"What can I say? She's like Father Christmas."

**

Lily sunk her head momentarily beneath her hot bath water to wash away any evidence of tears. It had been a long day, an emotional fucking rollercoaster. And she had reached her breaking point. The day had started out seemingly harmless with her early morning bantering with James Potter, but with the breaking news regarding You-Know-Who's sighting in Dovetown bringing the specter of war and danger ever nearer the day had taken on a decidedly darker tone.

As much as she hated to admit it, she was slightly relieved when Alice had forced her, dragged her kicking and screaming, to Slughorn's party because it allowed her to think of something other than Death Eaters, evil megalomaniacal wizards, and strange daily occurrences. But even that had been short lived. After all, a party full of Slytherins is not the best place to go to forget about the Dark Arts currently engulfing their world. She had been shocked to see that Lucius Malfoy was one of Slughorn's special guests that he had invited for the evening. What was so special about Malfoy Lily was at a loss to see. She saw nothing spectacular in being a filthy rich, yet jobless, racist who did nothing but prance around his pretentious mansion and go on missions for You-Know-Who. It had made her feel physically ill to see Severus back at his mentor's side strolling around the party, both of them with matching pompous sneers. It made her even sicker to see how all the other pathetic Slytherin Death Eater wannabes clung to their every word with such devotion, drinking the bleeding pumpkin juice full of propagandist lies. And so after only about an hour of happy, Valentine's festivities Lily had made her excuses to Alice and Professor Slughorn and exited the party.

It was as she was rounding the corner heading away from his office toward the Gryffindor Common Room that she became aware of the sound of hurried footsteps chasing after her. She paused on the other side of the wall, drawing her wand from her bag, and holding it at the ready. Snape had been in such a hurry to catch up to her that he almost walked right in to the tip of her wand. They each looked at each other for a moment, one with hopeful eyes, the other with malice.

"You shouldn't just hold your wand out like that. You could have accidentally cursed someone coming around the corner like I did just now," Severus said with a slight smile.

"What makes you think it would have been an accident?" Lily said seriously. "You shouldn't stalk after people like some big overgrown bat; other people will jinx first and ask questions later. I'm beginning to see the advantages to that course of action."

"There's no need for idle threats, Lily. We both know you'd never hurt me. Besides you'd hardly risk your perfect record and get caught hexing another student."

"Firstly, there is nothing idle about my threat, Snivellous," Lily said raising her wand a fraction of an inch higher. She showed no emotion upon seeing Snape flinch at her use of the nickname. "Secondly, my record isn't perfect I got a detention earlier this year for removing Potter's hand from my thigh in the middle of Transfiguration," she again ignored his wince, "and thirdly if you think for one fucking minute that I'm not willing to risk my badge to send your would-be-rapist ass to St. Mungo's you are sadly mistaken."

"I wasn't going to rape you. But can't you see what a little whore you've become. I love you! I would do anything for you! You belong with me! And yet you push me away and fight off my kisses yet according to the rumors you gladly spread your legs for Potter!" He had barely finished that statement when he was blasted off his feet and pushed against the wall, landing with a resounding thud.

"I never 'spread my legs for Potter' you self-righteous bastard!" Lily whispered as she moved to stand above Snape, still pointing her wand at him. She amended this statement in her head. She had after all attempted to spread her legs, in fact she had wrapped her legs around Potter, before but she had been drunk and nothing had come of it so that was besides the point, and it was really none of Snape's business to begin with.

"What the…Lily?" Lily spun around to see James and Daphne standing behind her. Both had their wands drawn and were now also pointing them at Snape. It was Daphne who had spoken and she now lowered her wand slightly and moved toward Lily hesitantly. "Are you okay? What happened we heard shouting and then a loud bang."

"He followed me as I was leaving Slughorn's party. He called me a whore." She said this in a daze, Snape was no longer the most pressing concern in her mind. James and Daphne's thoroughly disheveled appearance had not escaped her notice. Daphne's blouse buttons were not done correctly, James' hair was even more of a mess than usual, and he too bore the distinct appearance of someone who had thrown their clothes on hurriedly.

"He called you a WHAT?" James said angrily as he began to make his way toward the groggy Snape. His wand, unlike Daphne's or Lily's for that matter, was still held aloft, and was now pointing directly at Snape's manhood. Lily wondered briefly whether she ought to let him hex it off or whatever it was he was planning on doing, but decided against it.

"Potter, not that I don't appreciate your chivalry, but before you go blasting off some other guy's member, you might want to check and make sure your own is wrapped up nice and snug," she said waspishly with an exaggerated glance down at his half-opened fly. "Have a nice rest of the evening." She said as she marched off.

She was proud of herself for having made it to the Prefect's bath before breaking down into tears. She knew it was stupid. It had been over a month and a half since she and James had kissed, she knew he was still dating Daphne, but for some reason seeing with her own eyes the evidence that they were still very much together, and were not just keeping up appearances hurt her more than she ever would have expected. Maybe that was why she had reacted so badly to Snape's taunts. She was still as virginal as the day she was born, she had not spread her legs for Potter or anyone else, but sometimes like tonight when she saw proof of James' intimacy with Daphne, had witnessed him pressing her up against library walls and bookshelves, she had wished that what Snape had said was true. Not in such a crude sense, she had not weakened her resolve or her standards that much. She would not be a meaningless shag to James Potter or any other man, but there was a part of her that ached with desire at the thought of being kissed, held, caressed, filled, and brought to completion by James Potter. And it hurt her to know that it would never be a reality, and would only ever be a fantasy.

**

February faded in to March without much change. It was still too cold for the students to venture outside between classes, and as a result the grayness of the winter sky had begun to be mirrored on the faces of the residents of Hogwarts castle.

Even the looming match between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw failed to ignite much enthusiasm from the members of each house, and it excited the two teams even less; for as cold as it was on the ground, it was sure to feel at least 10° colder in the air. James had even cut back practices to just an hour a day instead of the usual two, because it was just too damn cold.

And yet the days continued to drag on, as surely as the snow continued to fall, until at last it was the Friday before the big game. Finally, at this late hour, the excitement and fervor that usually began weeks in advance had descended upon Hogwarts. The two teams were greeted from cheers and jeers as they made their way to their classes. The Slytherins had taken to wearing Ravenclaw buttons to show their support for the team playing archrival Gryffindor. It was crucial that Ravenclaw win, and win by more than 200 points, otherwise Gryffindor would be unbeatable in the race for the House Cup.

**

Lily stood in the empty classroom waiting, although she didn't know for what exactly. She heard the door behind her open and close and she turned to see who the intruder was. She gasped for breath. It was James Potter looking at her with a look of pure desire. The dark passion and lust in his eyes sent a shiver up her spine. She felt fear, she knew she had to get out of this room because she could feel her self control slipping away more every second his eyes rested on her.

"I…I was just leaving," Lily lied as she made her way to the door. But he took a step toward her, blocking her escape route.

"Don't," he said quietly. And he raised his hand to her face and brushed a strand of hair away from her eyes. She felt her knees go weak, knew she was falling, fainting, swooning whatever stereotypical thing girls do in these situations and she could have screamed she was so angry at herself. The very idea of her swooning over James Potter was preposterous.

But then suddenly it no longer seemed so bad, because he had caught her, and was lowering her slowly to the ground. And she didn't care anymore. The fire in her veins was burning her alive but all she wanted was more. He lowered his lips to hers and she felt like her heart must surely burst from the joy.

It began as a slow gentle kiss, but it did not remain so for long. Both had been fighting with themselves for so long that they could no longer resist the passion that had been building within them like a volcano preparing to erupt.

Their tongues battled one another for control as Lily felt James' erection press against her thigh. She could not hold back the moan that escaped her lips. She adjusts herself so that he settles between her legs, only the fabric of his pants and her thin panties separate them from one another, as her skirt as long since been bunched around her waist. As James feels himself sinking between her legs it is his turn to moan his appreciation. She doesn't remember him removing her blouse but suddenly his mouth is enclosed over one of her taut nipples and stars are exploding behind her eyes. Surely, she must be in heaven because nothing this good can actually exists on the earth.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Lily rolled over in bed with a groan as the alarm clock began to sound. She heard Mary cursing the blasted contraption as she reached outside the warm confines of her own four-poster bed to shut the awful thing off. Lily heard Alice turning about in her own bed beside Lily's, forestalling the moment when she would have to pull back her own curtains and face the awful cold of another day. Lily could feel herself shaking as her dream came flooding back to her. It had seemed so real. She had attempted to avoid Potter like the plague ever since Valentine's Day and had been relatively successful all things considering. She had managed to ignore his penetrating gazes that he often gave her during their shared class periods or in the common room after class. She had managed to walk in right as class was beginning each day in Transfiguration, the only class where she sat right next to him, in order to avoid small talk, and she left every day as soon as class ended before he could say anything to her then either. But apparently all her effort had been for nothing, for as her dream clearly illustrated she was failing miserably at getting over James Potter. And damn it Lily Evans was a Prefect and she was NOT used to failing at anything! She reached her arm out into the cold air, grabbed the small bowl upon her bedside table and filled it with water. She summoned a washcloth from her trunk, abusing her magic in order to avoid the cold for moments longer, and dabbed her face with the damp washcloth, willing herself back to composure. With great trepidation she pulled back her curtains and stepped out of her nice warm bed. Alice was sitting at the end of her own bed using her wand to style her hair, apparently having opted to wear it curly for the day. Mary had her one leg propped up against her own bed as she pulled on her black tights. Many of the girls had taken to wearing the tights instead of the typical knee socks in an attempt to stay warm. Lily wondered fleetingly how Mary had not frozen seeing as she was only wearing her tights and her newly arrived bra from Wonder Witch that she had ordered a few weeks previously. Only last night had it finally arrived and Mary had excitedly shown it off to her roommates. Lily slipped off her own pajamas and routed around in her trunk for a pair of tights for herself. Alice had begun applying her makeup and Mary had just finished pulling on her skirt when Mary sighed and grabbed her wand. She aimed it at Daphne's bed and muttered her incantation. The curtains pulled back as did the covers under which Daphne was burrowed. The rush of cold air to which she was now exposed brought her out of her own sound sleep.

"In the bleeding name of Morgan Le Fay why in the hell did you have to do that?!" Daphne groaned as she attempted to pull the covers back over her, only to find that Mary had charmed them to stay where they were.

"Rise and shine sleeping beauty," Mary said with a falsely cheery tone. "McGonagall will have our heads if we're late. And you know she's not above taking her points from her own house!"

**

"Good luck tomorrow Potter, Black!" a fellow Gryffindor shouted as the two friends made their way to the Great Hall for dinner. Each boy nodded their appreciation, a treasured acknowledgment for the stunned younger student.

"Damn it!" James exclaimed as he and Sirius reached the Great Hall a few moments later.

"What's up mate?"

"I must've left my Charms book up in the classroom."

"Don't worry about it you can always go back and get it later," Sirius said with a shrug.

"I wanted to get the essay done tonight so I wouldn't have to take a break from celebrating after the match," James said with a slightly arrogant smile. The same grin spread across Sirius' face.

"Good thinking my man," he said, patting James affectionately on the back. "Do you want me to run back up with you?"

"No you go on ahead it'll only take me a minute. Save me a piece of cherry pie if for some reason I'm not back in time." Sirius nodded his consent and made his way into the Great Hall and toward the Gryffindor table where many of the students flooded him with well wishes. He nodded and waved at all of them before taking his seat between Peter and Remus.

**

"Thanks Lily! We all really appreciate this!" Davy Gudgeon, a Fifth Year Hufflepuff student, said to Lily as he exited the Charms classroom.

Lily sighed. She was exhausted. She had obviously not slept well the night before, and now she could not help but reflect on her dream. In fact she felt like she had done nothing but reflect on her dream the entire day. She wanted nothing more than to feign sickness and have Alice bring her some food up to the dormitory and hide from the world for the rest of the weekend. Despite the excitement of the rest of the Hogwarts population for tomorrow's game Lily could only shiver at the prospect of having to sit in one of the high boxes, exposed to the bitterly cold wind, for hours. She glanced at the clock on the wall. She would be late to dinner. She normally did not hold study sessions on Fridays but Professor Flitwick had informed her that several of the Fifth Years were becoming increasingly panicked about their looming O. and had come to him this morning in tears pleading with him to plead on their behalf to Lily in favor of an extra session. Gudgeon was the last to leave, and she realized with a smile that she should not have been surprised. He was the boy, after all, who had famously almost lost an eye his first year in an idiotic attempt to climb the Whomping Willow.

"Probably damaged the poor bloke's brain as well," Lily said to herself.

"Not talking about me are you, Evans?" James Potter was standing in the door way of the Charms classroom. As he stepped inside Lily saw the door close behind him. It felt like the temperature in the room had risen by at least 20 degrees. Her dream came screaming back to her and she had to shake her head slightly to concentrate on what Potter was saying.

"No," she squeaked, bypassing the many obvious jokes about Potter's lack of a brain. She took a deep breath calming herself and was pleased her voice sounded normal as she spoke again. "Davy Gudgeon."

"I wouldn't worry yourself about him. I doubt he had much of a brain to begin with. I mean why else would anyone try and climb that blasted tree. I mean it's not exactly your typical backyard tree with a swing attached."

"It almost sounds like something a Marauder would do," Lily said with an arch of her eyebrow.

"There's the Evans I know!" James said with a laugh. "So what are you doing up here, anyways?" James said as he walked over to Lily's side. Lily was again hit with the feeling of déjà vu from her dream.

"Charms study session," she said quickly. She had to get out of this classroom before she lost the last tiny ounces of self control she had left.

"Such a steward," he said with a wink. "Would you mind helping me find my book? Then we can head down to the Great Hall together," James suggested.

"I…I would but I have to…. I have to…I'm not really…I just yeah um good luck tomorrow, Potter." And she fled from the classroom as if her life depended on it.

James watched her go, with a puzzled look on his face. Had he said something that upset her? He replayed the conversation in his head but could find no satisfactory answer. She had seemed almost scared of him, a thought which was unbearable to him. After a moment more of recollection James made his way back to the common room. He no longer felt like eating anything, not even a cherry pie.


	30. Chapter 30

The locker room quieted as James Potter stepped through the doorway. He surveyed the faces of his teammates, the team he had put together, had both coddled and whipped into shape, all in an effort to get to this moment. The House Cup was within their reach, they could win it today. But first they had to beat Ravenclaw, and they had to beat them by at least 200 points. Otherwise they would have no say in their destiny; they would be dependent on Hufflepuff beating Slytherin, something that had happened in decades.

He looked at each of their individual faces as they waited for him to speak, gauging their emotions, preparing himself for what felt like the most important speech of his life. Sirius, the team's Keeper, was lounging on a bench, looking completely relaxed and assured of himself and the team's victory. He winked at James as James' eyes settled on his face. Daphne was sitting in front of her locker, her face the stoic mask it always became on game day. James knew that she was contemplating everything from the wind speed to Chang's technique as a Seeker. He knew too that Daphne knew that her job today would be the most difficult and the most important. Daphne had to catch the Snitch, but she had to ensure that it was only after Gryffindor was up by at least 50 points. If she saw the Snitch before then she would have to find some way of making sure that Chang did not catch it, without catching it herself. It was a tall order to say the least. Hestia Jones, the second year standout that had amazed James and the rest of the team at her Chaser tryouts, stood quietly by her locker twisting her braids. She was nervous. She had never played in such an important match before and she felt like she had the weight of the word, or at least of Gryffindor Tower, on her tiny shoulders. Next to her sat Regal Shacklebolt. Regal was poised and collected, especially next to Hestia, and while this was also her first official year on the Quidditch team, Regal had been a chaser in the final game of the previous season after Marlene McKinnon, the Team's Captain and Head Girl, had been injured and unable to play in the match. Augustus Pye, a third year and a Beater on the Team, was standing off to the side, taking practice swings with his bat; his fellow beater Dirk Cresswell, a muscled and intimidating fifth year, who off the Pitch was a Teddy bear, stood closest to James having just entered the locker room a few moments before.

"Alright guys listen up," James said needlessly as they were all waiting for him to speak. "We all know what today is, what it means for our team if we win. We've heard the smack talk from the Ravenclaw's and the Slytherins, seen the hope on the faces of our housemate's, know how hard each of us has worked to make it to this moment. We've outplayed every team this year. We walk out onto that pitch undefeated, and that's how we want to leave it. It's been a privilege to be your Captain this year. I respect each and every one of you and in my opinion we started this season as the best team, we competed the entire season as the best team, and standing here today we are still the best team! We've already earned the House Cup, now we just have to claim it! I'm not asking for each of you to do something extraordinary today, this team together is extraordinary; we just have to play Quidditch. Play Quidditch like we've played Quidditch every game this season, and we're unstoppable! So, let's go play Quidditch."

**

The weather for the Ravenclaw vs. Gryffindor match could not have been worse. It was a blusteringly cold March day with the wind seeming to whip and nip at you from every direction. Rain was pounding down upon them, although up in the air where the game was being played James suspected that at least some of it was ice, hitting them like bullets each and every moment. Considering these conditions as he watched Regal prepare to shoot a penalty shot, he could not help but marvel at Daphne's will power. He was not sure, given the conditions and how bloody cold she must be up even higher than the rest of them, that he could resist the temptation to catch the snitch as soon as he could just to be able to get inside to where it was warm; but she had been steadfast, although her face was now almost blue, she had not relented in her determination. She had earned cheers from every Gryffindor when Chang, having spotted the Snitch with Gryffindor only up by 10, had raced forward and seemed as if he was sure to get it, when Daphne in an amazing bit of flying slid herself and her broom in the seemingly small space between Chang and the Snitch, giving the Snitch time to escape into the clouds once again. That had been an hour ago and the score had been 10-0. Now an hour later the score 140-100. And then several things happened almost simultaneously, Regal made the penalty shot putting Gryffindor up by the requisite 50 points, the Ravenclaw chaser Davies dropped the quaffle, allowing James to swoop in and steal it scoring another ten points for Gryffindor, and Daphne took off at a lightning fast speed and from seemingly out of nowhere grabbed the snitch. Gryffindor had clinched the House Cup!

But then suddenly Quidditch was the last thing on any of their minds. The seven Ravenclaw Quidditch team members had descended to the ground and were waiting for the Gryffindor players in order to congratulate them. Only the Gryffindor players weren't coming. They had all been heading toward Daphne, most likely for a team hug, when all of their brooms had seemingly stalled in mid-air, except for one. While his teammates were seemingly frozen to their spots, James' broom was doing everything in it's power to dismount him, throwing him, bucking him, rolling over all to the horror of both its rider and the crowd below.

Lily watched in horror from the Gryffindor box, along with all of her classmates. Each one had mirrored looks of terror on their faces. Peter, sitting directly in front of Lily, was muttering words of encouragement to James as if by willing his friend to stay on the broom and not fall everything would be okay. Remus was looking around desperately for some sort of solution but finding none continued to gaze, terrified of the plight of his friends. Daphne, stuck on her own broom in midair, nearly fell off of her own stationary broom due to her attempts to get her own broom to move in order to reach her boyfriend. Sirius, who was closest to James, was attempting to allow him to catch hold of a beater's bat, thrown to Sirius by Pye, so that Sirius would then hopefully be able to pull James aboard his own, albeit stationary broom. But the Beater's bat would not reach and even if it had it took both James' hands and his prolific skill on a broomstick to be able to stay aboard the broom. The Professor's had descended on the field and Madame Hooch was attempting to reach James, but whatever was holding the other players in place seemed to also keep Madame Hooch away.

James' hand slipped and he was suddenly hanging from his broom with one very cold hand about 50 feet in the air. Lily could not watch, she felt like her heart surely must have stopped beating, and she had to bite her hand to keep from screaming out to James. Alice squeezed her hand, equally terrified but knowing how much more difficult this had to be for Lily. In Lily's sheer determination to look anywhere but at James' plight her eyes caught sight of Severus his eyes were locked on James and the other players, but unlike everyone else his stare seemed vice like, controlling. His lips were moving rapidly as if continuously repeating a spell, and beside him Rookwood was his mirror image. Lily saw red, she would rip them both a part limb by bloody limb for putting him, all of them, in danger. She made to stand up determined to get to those two blasted Death Eaters and make them pay.

Severus felt Lily's eyes on him. He knew he should not look, knew that eye contact was crucial, but it was like a sneeze when you know you have to be quiet, he could not keep his eyes from twitching in her general direction. The spell did not break, after all it was doubly strong with Augustus performing it as well, but the lack of both spells, the reduction in the force upon James' broom was all he needed. He truly was an amazing flyer and with true finesse he managed to heave himself back aboard his broomstick. Snape hearing the crowd's cheers returned his attention to the matter at hand, but it was too late. Dumbledore had taken out his wand.

No one was really sure how he did it, except that it was Dumbledore and this was just another one of those incredible things he did. He had not wanted to risk disturbing whatever force field surrounded the players whilst James was in such a precarious condition, but the moment he was securely back on his broom Dumbledore acted. It was as if seven giant hands reached out from the clouds and gently swept up the players and placed them gently back on the ground, each of them wearing similar looks of shock, fear, and relief to be back on solid ground.

Sirius laughed as he crawled over to James, needing to be sure for himself that James was alright. The two could not help but laugh at their miraculous save. Daphne, as soon as she had been placed back on firm ground, had wasted even less time than Sirius in getting to James to ensure he was alright. She was sobbing great heaving sobs as he hugged her attempting to assure her that he was in fact fine. Regal Shacklebolt was staring almost dumbfounded up at the sky where moments earlier she had been stuck on her broom, unable to comprehend what had happened. Hestia Jones was shaking so violently that Augustus Pye who had landed next to her was worried she might be having some sort of seizure, until she grabbed him and kissed him. Apparently the scare had made Hestia decide that even though she was only 12, life was too short not to kiss your 13 year old crush. Dirk Cresswell looked as though he had been hit with his own beater's bat until he saw Hestia randomly kiss Augustus which was just so random and yet so wonderful at the same time he could not help but laugh. All of this happened in a span of about a minute and then the shock lifted from the rest of Hogwarts. There was a collective sigh of relief from the student body, including even some Slytherins, and then the faculty descended on the seven students. Madam Pomphrey insisted on examining them all for injuries, despite Sirius' protest that they had a championship to celebrate.

**

"Enter", called the voice of the Head Master. Lily took a deep breath she had never been in Dumbledore's office before, nor had she ever been completely alone with the kind, albeit intimidating, great wizard.

"Sir," she said as she entered through the doorway.

"Ah, Miss Evans, sit, sit, Professor McGonagall told me you wished to speak with me regarding the event's of this afternoon?" He said as he motioned for Lily to take a seat at one of the chairs in front of her desks. He did not say anything else and gazed at Lily over his half moon spectacles. He did not rush her; in fact he seemed content to wait until she was ready to tell him what was troubling her. It was oddly comforting yet still discomforting at the same time. She took one last deep breath, willing herself to remain calm, and then she began.

"Yes, sir, I think I know who was behind it. I know that the Gryffindor Quidditch team thinks that it was some sort of retaliation, most likely from the Slytherins, for them winning the House Cup, but I disagree."

"I see. Please continue," Dumbledore said continuing to gaze thoughtfully at Lily.

"I think it was meant to look like that to disguise its real purpose…an attack directed only at James Potter."

"Who do you imagine would want to hurt Mr. Potter?"

Lily gulped. She knew her answer, but she also knew she was not supposed to know her answer.

"Death Eaters, sir" she whispered. Dumbledore seemed to assess the student in front of him for a moment but did not say anything and waited for Lily to continue. "I lived with the Potter's for almost the entire summer, and again over the holidays. I saw Benjy Fenwick's head arrive in the post for Mrs. Potter. I know about the Order of the Phoenix, sir, and I know I'm not supposed to and I'm sorry. I promise I haven't told anyone. I wondered after I was poisoned on the same day the Potter's were attacked at their homes if maybe the poison was meant for James, and even if it wasn't, I think the attack today certainly was. I think You-Know-Who realized he couldn't get to the Potter's at their home, because they're protected, but maybe he could get to them through their son. I mean he went after Benjy Fenwick's parents before he went after them. It makes sense; James is more accessible than his parents."

Dumbledore said nothing for a moment. He was not upset that Lily knew about the Order, she was one of several students he had his eye on as possible recruits for the Order once they were out of school, and he knew that with Lily residing with the Potter's she had probably been exposed to information regarding the Order. He sensed there was more to her story, but he wanted to be careful in how he asked his next question as he had a good idea where the next leg of her story was headed.

"How would Voldemort have access to James here? I don't think you are suggesting he was at the match today?"

"No, sir," Lily said smiling slightly. She recognized Dumbledore's attempt at a joke to help her relax. "I believe, I know, that… Severus Snape is a Death Eater." The words felt wrenched from her gut, she knew she had no choice, knew without a doubt that the words were true, but the betrayal of her old friend still hurt.

"You and Mr. Snape used to be quite close," Dumbledore said. It was a statement and not a question.

"Yes sir, and I'm ashamed to say I've made excuses for him for too long. He was involved with the attack on James in Hogsmede with Bellatrix Lestrange. I know James said he was there but just as another student, but he wasn't he was on Bellatrix's side."

"I know."

"You do?"

"I do. James told me but he also told me that Mr. Snape had tried to save you, that he seemed in over his head."

"He did. And I don't have any proof about his involvement today, but I saw him and Augustus Rookwood mumbling something while James and the others were under that spell. Neither one of them was blinking and it looked like they were performing some sort of spell, a curse or something. I know this probably sounds crazy sir, and I don't blame you for not believing me…"

"Oh, I believe you Miss Evans."

"You do?"

"I do indeed. I'm glad you understand the difficulty of my situation though. I have suspected both Mr. Snape and Mr. Rookwood for some time, but I have no proof, and I'm afraid that by questioning them it would only serve to tip our hand and let Voldemort know exactly what we don't know. So, I thank you for telling me your concerns and I promise you that I am not unaware of the situation."

"Thank you, sir", Lily said as she stood up to leave.

"Miss Evans?" Dumbledore said as Lily rose to leave.

"Yes, sir?" Lily said turning to face the Headmaster.

"I know how difficult this was for you. I once had to make a similar decision regarding a dear childhood friend who I cared deeply for. It is not always easy to choose between our friends and doing what is right, so I do truly appreciate you coming to me with your concerns regarding Mr. Snape."

"I…thank you, sir." Lily said, embarrassed as she felt tears well up in her eyes.

"Have a good evening, Miss Evans. I'm sure by now Miss Brown has smuggled everything necessary back to the common room and that the celebration is in full swing." He said with a twinkle in his eyes. Lily wondered briefly how the headmaster could be so blasé about the rule breaking, but she had a more pressing question to ask.

"Professor, may I ask you a question?"

"You may," Dumbledore answered.

"Does it get any easier?" She did not need to elaborate; he knew what she was talking about.

"Yes and no. The sting is still there, but eventually you will come to realize that it was not you who betrayed your friendship, you were merely doing what had to be done. He stopped being the person you friends with long ago." His eyes had a far off look in them and Lily wondered if he was still talking about her and Severus or about himself and his friend.

"Goodnight, sir."

"Goodnight, Miss Evans."

**

Lily felt a burden lift off her as she made her way back to the Gryffindor common room. She had known the minute her eyes fell on Severus and Rookwood that she had to go to Dumbledore, but it still had not been easy. Somehow it gave her a sense of peace to know that Dumbledore understood, had gone through a similar experience, and had struggled with it. After all, Dumbledore was the greatest wizard in the world and if he had struggled and agonized over the same decision Lily was struggling and agonizing over, well then maybe Lily wasn't such a bad person. These thoughts carried her up the seven flights of stairs to the portrait hole entrance to the Gryffindor common room, but as the Fat Lady portrait swung open to allow her to enter she was immediately pulled from her thoughts by the deafening noise that greeted her from inside. Obviously, Dumbledore had been correct in his assumption that the party was well underway.

The common room unfolded before her eyes in various scenes of chaos. An even larger bevy of girls than usual surrounded Sirius, begging to hear a recounting of all his various saves, and of course the events after the match. Hestia Jones and Augustus Pye kept sneaking shy looks at one another, the bravery of that first kiss having receded with the adrenaline. But her eyes lingered on none of them, not until they found the person she was looking for.

Lily let out a breath she hadn't even realized she'd been holding as her eyes found James Potter. She had known he was alright, but seeing him standing there laughing with various Gryffindors coming over to congratulate him on both his play during the game and his phenomenal display of skill after it, was an amazing relief. He looked up as the current group of adoring fans began to part and his eyes settled on Lily. They each stood there looking at each other for what seemed to both like an eternity, but what could not have been more than a moment. Each one had for a moment earlier in the day considered the very real possibility that they would never see one another again, and so now each was drinking in the other's appearance as if not quite sure the other was real.

**

Daphne smiled as she was pulled this way and that in the common room being hailed as a hero for her outstanding play today in both keeping the Ravenclaw's from getting the snitch and then managing to her it herself at the exact right moment. And as always people were complementing her on another spectacular party, many of the younger girls coming up to her and marveling how she was able to manage planning a party and preparing for the match against Ravenclaw. She sighed inwardly, she appreciated all the well wishes and complements but all she really wanted to do right now was be with her boyfriend, who had nearly been killed today. She had left his side about ten minutes ago because as the practiced and ever constant hostess she had circled the common room checking to make sure everyone had everything they needed, that there was still plenty of food and drinks, all the little things that go in to making a party successful, but now as she tried to make her way back to his side it seemed more and more people wanted to talk to her. Finally she caught sight of him and her heart leapt. It had been a close call today, one that had terrified her to her very core, and seeing him standing there staring off into the distance at some unknown thing, captivated her heart. She made her way to him, so in awe of him and his spectacular survival that she saw nothing else around them. She laced her arms around his neck and kissed him lightly on the lips, hoping that the kiss communicated to him everything she was feeling.

**

In the moment after Daphne appeared pulling James into a kiss, his eyes still on the place where had had been watching Lily, he was surprised to see, if only for a moment, Lily's face fall as she watched Daphne pull James into the embrace. It had happened so fast he couldn't even be sure that that was what he saw, but when his eyes tried to find her again she had disappeared. The only clue as to where she had gone was a flash of red hair that disappeared through the portrait hole. James saw all of this in a matter of seconds; after all he was still kissing Daphne, and inwardly berating himself for looking for Lily at all while he was doing so. After another moment he pulled away from Daphne.

"I'm gonna go get some air," he said looking down at her surprised face.

"Are you okay," she asked immediately concerned that something was wrong.

"Yeah, I'm fine it's just all been a little overwhelming everyone wanting to talk about what happened and everything."

"Okay, do you want me to come with you or do you think you'll be okay," She asked still worried about his well being even though Madame Pomphrey had examined him after the match and pronounced him fine.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Besides I wouldn't dream of depriving my fellow Gryffindors the thrill of Daphne Brown at a party, especially when she's pretty much the hero of the match." He said as he leaned down and kissed her lightly on the tip of her nose. She smiled inwardly at his complement but managed just to roll her eyes at his calling her a hero. He smiled back at her as he turned to make his way out into the corridor, but stopped when he heard her call his name. She had followed after him, after a moment's hesitation, deciding that after today she could no longer wait.

"I just wanted… I love you, James." She said as she reached him.

"I…you too, Daph." She smiled and kissed him again. His mind was racing. He had managed, this time, to avoid saying the word, although he wasn't sure if she had noticed, but he could not avoid it forever. The time was looming in the not so distant future when he would have to make a decision, either commit completely to Daphne or break things off, because she deserved someone who was fully committed to her. He knew that for tonight he had managed to give her what she wanted, but it was still less than she deserved.


	31. Chapter 31

Lily Evans closed her eyes against her tears, though they still managed to escape and cascade down her face. She knew that she had no right to be upset, no right to feel hurt. After all, James and Daphne were dating, and had been dating for nearly 6 months, they were perfectly entitled to kiss one another whenever the liked.

But, the not rational side of her brain reasoned, she had just made the hardest decision in her life, to turn in her former best friend, to name him as a Death Eater, and it would be nice if the universe could have given her a break and not made practically the very first thing she saw upon leaving Dumbledore's office James and Daphne making out. After all, she had done it for him.

No, she thought to herself. Not for him, for everyone. Going to Dumbledore about Severus had nothing to do with James, you just suspected a larger Death Eater plan at work, and you would have gone to Dumbledore regardless. She repeated this mantra to herself over and over again trying to make it true. And maybe it was, maybe she would have gone either way, but it did not escape her notice that the two times she had considered turning Severus in had been after he had tried to hurt James. Although, to be fair it could just be that Potter's ass happens to be in danger a lot and I just happen to be the one there to see it. She knew that obviously today everyone had seen it, but this explanation made her feel better. Or maybe it was the fact that since she started thinking about her motives for telling Dumbledore she hadn't thought about James and Daphne?

"Okay, I know how hard you are to impress, but considering you're afraid to fly and everything I would think that would make you all the more impressed by my accomplishments today." She turned to see James Potter standing a few feet behind. She had not heard him come in. She wasn't quite sure what he was talking about though, had she done something to make him think she wasn't impressed by his flying? Anyone who saw him on that broom would have been impressed with his flying. Not that she was going to admit that now that he was practically demanding it of her, she may be heartbroken but she still had her self-respect. She arched an eyebrow as if to underscore the fact that she had no idea what he was talking about.

"C'mon Evans I was only teasing. I was being honest but I was teasing! So what made you leave the party, you had only just gotten there. I was shocked that you didn't come over and shake my hand like practically everyone else," he said with a wink.

"Why would I do anything to help inflate your ego?" She said with a wry smile and then before she could help herself she added waspishly, "Besides when I saw you, you were rather entangled with other commitments." Well, she thought bitterly, so much for still having my self-respect.

James was suddenly confused, she seemed angry at him. And as his eyes had grown accustomed to the darkness of the room, he saw what he had missed at first, she had been crying. Was she crying about him? Because of him and Daphne? That certainly seemed to be what she was suggesting? But that was ridiculous? After all, he reasoned, I had been more than willing, jerk that I am, to dump Daphne and never stop kissing Lily for all eternity the moment that their lips had met aboard his broomstick. _She _had been the one who had said that nothing could come of it, that she wouldn't steal another girl's bloke. She made it pretty damn clear that he was supposed to stay with Daphne, hadn't she? But then she had broken up with that idiot MacMillan. Had she done it for him? Was the whole stay with Daphne thing some sort of test to see if he'd fight for her or whatever? Surely, he must be crazy. Lily would never play games with their happiness, would she? He must be completely off base. He must have completely misunderstood her meaning. But he had to be sure.

"Is this about what happened at Christmas?" Lily blanched and her cheeks flushed red. How dare he? How could he stand there looking at her and bring up, to her face, the fact that he had kissed her, made a fool of her, all for some stupid bet. She had never in her life imagined he would be so cruel as to stand there taunting her with the fact that he had made her fall in love with him, all for some stupid bet that he could laugh about with his friends and his girlfriend. But she would not crumble in front of him, he had hurt her too much before, she would not give him the pleasure of seeing the effect his words had on her.

"How dare you bring that up to my face; you complete and utter ass!" Well, she reasoned maybe she wasn't as in control of her emotions as she had thought.

Now, it was James' turn to sputter. So it was true? She was mad at him for staying with Daphne because he had not realized she was playing some stupid little game. He felt the need to remind her that none of this was his fault; she was the one who had orchestrated their whole situation.

"I only did what you wanted me to do." He said, glaring at her. And that was it. She snapped. It had been a long damn day in which she had seen this idiot who for some reason she cared about nearly get killed, and then she had turned in her former best friend, only to now have James taunting her about her feelings for him and now making it perfectly clear that she had made winning his bet easy, there had been no need for the enchanted mistletoe, she had been more than willing to kiss him. It was all too much for one girl to handle, so she slapped him, hard, across the face. The wham echoed throughout the room, and her hand had left a distinct hand shape on his face where it had made contact. And she didn't care. She was furious, he was just lucky that slapping him was the only thing she did. Before he could react she had stormed out of the room, back through the common room, and up to her dormitory, where she closed the curtains around her bed and collapsed into tears.

James felt the spot where she had slapped him gingerly. He was no longer confused about anything. He was furious. How dare she play games with his emotions like that! How dare she treat him like a jerk just because he had refused to play her games! Why did Lily have to be so complicated? She had just made up his mind for him. Daphne never played games. Daphne always told James exactly how she felt about him. Daphne loved him, and he was not going to play Lily Evans' games any longer.

Alice made her way up the winding staircase to the sixth year girls' dormitory. She had glimpsed Lily's face as she had hurriedly made her way up these same stairs just moments before, and while her face betrayed no emotions, Alice knew her best friend well enough to understand that something was wrong. Alice did not bother knocking, after all it was her dorm too, and she suspected that Lily would not be entirely surprised by her presence.

"Hey," Alice said softly as she pulled Lily's curtains aside and sat down on her best friend's bed, before drawing the curtains together again. "What happened?"

"I talked to James, he gloated about his stupid bet, how easy it was to get me to kiss him, how I wanted him to…" she said before collapsing again in tears.

"He actually admitted it? He said that? As in there really was a bet and it wasn't just some lie of Daphne's?" Alice asked. Lily merely nodded. "Bastard," Daphne muttered angrily. "I'm sorry, Lily. You deserve so much better! And James, well, he's obviously not the wizard we thought he was."

"Yes, he is. He is exactly the wizard I always thought he was. Which is why this is so damn infuriating! I knew better and I fell for him anyway!"

"That's my fault," Alice conceded.

"No, it isn't, Alice. You didn't make me fall in love with him. I did that all by myself. I knew all along he didn't really care about me, I was just lying to myself, and it's time to face the truth. I fell for a boy who never loved me back." She continued to cry softly as Alice held her attempting to comfort her best friend. Neither girl said it but both knew that this was a turning point. Lily had never been able to get over her heartbreak because she had never really admitted that she was heartbroken, but now for the first time she was allowing herself to feel the pain, and as hard as that was, it was a step toward healing.

James Potter walked back through the portrait hole, a look of sheer determination on his face. He scanned the crowd of people, still gathering in the common room celebrating the victory. Sirius was entangled with Gladys Gudgeon, the Gryffindor twin sister of Hufflepuff, Davy. Remus was chatting up a group of fourth years that included Daisy Hookum and Jetta Jordan, both of whom appeared to be hanging on his every word; and Peter was stowed away in corner talking quietly with Glenda Chittock, the vivacious fifth year who served as the Quidditch announcer. James smiled to himself, his friends all seemed to be occupied for the night, as was their usual status following parties, and he intended to find his girlfriend and become equally occupied. He spied her making the rounds from group to group, the perfect hostess that she always was and made his way over to her, intent on stealing her away.

"Hey," he whispered seductively into her ear as he wrapped his arms around her, sidling up against her .

"Hey yourself, superstar."

"Me? You're the one who saved the day and one the house cup."

"As I predicted I would," she said with a teasing smile.

"And you were right how silly I was to doubt you," he agreed with a laugh.

"Just let that be a lesson to you," she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him closer. She never wanted to let go of him. Today's close call had impressed that upon her.

"Do you want to get out of here?" He asked quietly. "I really just want to be alone with you tonight." She nodded. Hand in hand they made their way to the portrait hole, where he pulled them both under his cloak. Without deciding upon a destination they made their way to the One Eyed Witch passageway, it was, after all their spot. As the passageway closed behind them James pulled Daphne into an embrace and in the moment before their lips met whispered, "I love you".

A/N: Sorry this one is short. It kind of is a transitional chapter from one arc to another so yeah the next update should be nice and long! Cheers!


	32. Chapter 32

Lily Evans huffed as she made her way up the final flight of stairs to reach the Gryffindor common room. She had seriously underestimated the distance between the library and the common room and the weight of the large pile of books she was carrying. Enough was enough. She sat the books down on the stair next to her, pulled her wand from her robe pocket and levitated the books the rest of the way. She was just getting ready to enter the portrait hole when she heard a voice calling her name. She spun around, losing her concentration thus causing the books to fall to the ground.

"Bloody hell," she muttered under her breath. This was just not her day. She and Potter had not spoken in a month and things between them were about as bad as they had ever been. In fact she was pretty sure this was the longest they had ever gone without talking and the tension and anger between them was palpable. Although she wasn't sure what he had to be angry about, after all _she_ wasn't the one who had made a bet that she could kiss _him_ just to embarrass him and have fun with her friends. For the most part they had managed to avoid each other. Alice, Frank, Remus, Sirius, Peter, Mary and Daphne had stopped trying to maintain the well established tradition that the sixth year Gryffindors all usually sat in the same general area during meals and had after a few days silently consented to allow some tepid, frightened first years who could no doubt also feel the tension building, to sit between them. In transfiguration, the only class where it was impossible to completely ignore and avoid one another as they sat right next to each other, the tension was almost unbearable. They both sat, staring toward the front of the class room, not saying a word. They were each careful to stay in their own allotted space, seemingly fearful of accidentally bumping, nudging, or having any contact at all with the other. Even McGonagall seemed to be watching them carefully, her brow furrowed in confusion. No one, save for Alice and the other three Marauders, knew what the fight had been about. And to be honest no one, including Lily and James, really knew what the fight had been about as it was a result of a colossal misunderstanding. And while no one knew what they were fighting about the whole school knew they were fighting. Except that they weren't fighting, that's what was so bizarre. The entire school was used to James and Lily fighting, pulling their wands on one another, calling each other every foul name under the sun and then some, that was normal. The most anyone could ever remember them going without speaking or some form of communication even if that was yelling from Lily and professions of love from James was a week, two at most, but a month was damn near unheard of. The tension of it all had worn Lily down, she was anxious, fidgety, and completely on edge. Today, McGonagall had assigned them two questions they were supposed to answer with their partner. She and James had glared one another down for at least 20 minutes before James finally snapped took out two pieces of parchments written the first question on one and handed it to her, before beginning the answer the second question himself. Neither one of them would be the first one to speak, neither of them were even really sure if they ever wanted to speak to the other again, and the anger, frustration, and battling of wills was all overwhelming.

"Sorry, Lily, I didn't mean to startle you." It was Dorcas Meadowes, Aiden MacMillan's fellow Hufflepuff prefect. She stooped down to help Lily gather her books together.

"Oh, it's okay Dorcas. What is it you needed?" Dorcas fidgeted for a moment clearly unsure how to proceed in this conversation.

"It's not me, it's Aiden. He won't talk to anyone, not even Katie or Donald. I was hoping you would try and talk to him." Lily hesitated. She wanted to help Aiden, but she was not at all sure that she could help him. After all, she was the one who while lost in her own world of pain and grief had unintentionally used Aiden and broken his heart. Why on earth would he want to talk to her, especially if he wasn't willing to talk to his best friends?

Dorcas misunderstood Lily's hesitation, and after a moment she interrupted Lily's thoughts. "Lily, I know you have no reason to want to help Aiden, I wouldn't want to help him either if he'd spread all those rumors about me, but you know Aiden. He's not a bad guy. I know it doesn't excuse his actions but I think he was just really hurting, and I know he regrets it now. Please, Lily. You are one of the nicest and most caring people in the entire school, if anyone can help him right now it's you." Lily understood. She had never been mad at Aiden for what he had done, she knew she deserved worse.

"Where is he, Dorcas?" A smile spread across Dorcas' face in relief, grateful she had been able to convince Lily.

"Down by the lake, sitting under one of the trees."

"Okay, just let me take these books upstairs to my dormitory, and then I'll head right down there."

"Good, Dolohov," the high, cold voice said from the corner of the room where he stood, his heartless eyes surveying the small town below his window. "The boy's death will send the desired message to all of the foolish who are still attempting to fight against us."

"Thank you, my lord." Antonin Dolohov said as he made a deep bow. He had known his master since they were in school together, back when he had still been Tom Riddle. He had been one of the very first Death Eaters, and was one of the "Old Guard" who had remained ever faithful to his master, earning him a place in his master's good graces along with the up and coming fanatics like Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange. He was one of the few who knew of this place, having known Tom Riddle, but even he was unaware of its importance. He was under the impression that his master was simply using his ill fated, and never spoken of muggle father's house as a place to be unseen, he remained in the dark so as not to alert anyone, not even the feeble muggle groundskeeper to his presence; but his master had a far more important and far more secret mission tonight.

And so, after dismissing his faithful servant, the man formerly known as Tom Riddle made his way under the cover of darkness and with the asset of invisibility down to the deserted shack where his mother had once lived. There, in the decay where no one would ever think to look, the shack having long been deserted after his uncle had been sent away to Azkaban for the crime he, himself, had committed, he took off the ring of Salazar Slytherin, his very first horcrux, and placed it back in the place where he had found it.

As he performed the spells for its protection, a precaution against attackers he felt almost certain would never come, he reflected briefly on his other treasures. The others had been hidden already, one, he recalled with unabashed pride, hidden right under Dumbledore's crooked nose. But this one was special. It had been created from his most important murder-that of the father who had never wanted him, and the grandparents' who most likely never even knew of his existence. The ring was rightfully his, he was after all the living heir of Salazar Slytherin, and it had been on his finger since he first took possession of it all those years ago. It more than anything else, even more than the diary or the locket, which thanks to his mother any idiot like that besotted old fool Hepzibah Smith could have bought, emphasized his connection to Slytherin, his rightful place in the wizarding world, his destiny of absolute power and dominance over wizards and muggles alike.

Lily took a deep breath as she made her way down to the lake. She noticed Dorcas, Donald, and Katie off in the distance, no doubt keeping an eye on their seemingly troubled friend from a respectful distance. She wondered again why on earth they had asked her to speak to Aiden. Why would he talk to her, who he almost surely hated, when he would not talk to some of his closest friends? It made no sense to her, but she had promised Dorcas she would try, and if she could help Aiden in some way with whatever it was he was dealing with, well then she owed him that much.

"Hey," Lily said as she reached the tree under which he sat. She was startled to see that he looked as though he had been crying and as though he had not slept at all the previous night. "I know that it's none of my business, and that I'm probably the last person you want to ever see, but you seem really upset and if there's anything I can do to help, well I'd like to help." She finished weakly, she had rehearsed in her mind what she was going to say, but seeing him so visibly upset had robbed her of her thoughts. And then he shocked her. He smiled, albeit weakly, at her.

"I'm glad to see you. I think you're the one person who can actually understand and help me. I know I don't deserve your friendship, or even your help, after what I did, but I'm still glad you came."

"Aiden, I'm not mad at you. I never was. I deserved everything you did. I was awful to you. I was so lost in my own sick, dark world of grief and pain that I couldn't see how unfairly I was treating you."

"You're a good person, Lily Evans, one of the greatest I've ever known. I've never doubted that. I was just mad and angry and I lashed out at you. It wasn't fair and I'm not proud of it."

"The past is in the past," Lily said with a small smile as she took a seat next to Aiden. "I hate seeing you like this, so distraught, what happened?" She asked concernedly.

"My brother, Ernie, was killed by Death Eaters." Lily gasped. Aiden broke down again as she pulled him into a tight embrace and attempted to sooth him, although she knew all too well how little empty words did to mitigate the suffering of the bereaved. Lily knew that Aiden had worshipped his elder brother, that in the absence of a good relationship with their parents, the two brothers had been each other's rocks and entire family. The sudden loss of his idol had clearly shaken Aiden to his core, and finally she understood why Dorcas had sought her out, because shattering loss was something she had come to understand very well during the last year.

"Do you know what happened?" Lily asked several moments later.

"My parents," Aiden began but then hesitated as if unsure how to explain. "They aren't bad people Lily, they really aren't. They support Dumbledore and they don't abide any of the blood purity nonsense You-Know-Who and his followers go on about. But they aren't brave either. They are perfectly happy to live their lives, worry about their own advancement, and it doesn't matter if everyone else's lives are going to hell in a hand basket, so long as their lives aren't disturbed. Ernie always told them that if you only worry about keeping your head down and your nose clean during a war, one day you'd look up and realize that even though the rest of you is clean, you're hands are covered in blood. They never really listened to us. They just carry on with their lives, going to work each day, hosting their dinner parties, attending the ministry functions, like nothing at all is wrong in the world. My mother worked as just a secretary for the administrative staff of the Ministry. She did inconsequential things mostly, sending out invitations to functions, she was always allowed to inviter herself and my father, that's how my father became so well connected. Anyway, she did that and was also in charge of answering daily owls and taking dictations and stuff. Just run of the mill office stuff. The person directly above her is the Minister's own personal secretary. She takes care of whatever tasks the Minister needs done, she organizes his daily schedule, organizes more sensitive memos that comes in to the office, that kind of thing. Anyway last week she did the unheard of, his secretary did. She's a muggleborn, you see, and she was infuriated, as many are, by the Ministry's lack of response to You-Know-Who and so she wrote an editorial in the Prophet, she must have a friend on the paper who pulled strings to get it printed. She ran the ministry over the coals, accused some in the ministry of dragging their feet because they wouldn't mind of You-Know-Who got rid of the muggleborns. She went in to detail about how in a lot of the reported Death Eater Attacks the Ministry had a pretty good idea who was responsible, but they refused to question members of esteemed, old, pureblood families like the Malfoys and the Lestranges. She was fired. The official reason given was that she revealed classified information regarding ongoing investigations to the media. The real reason was that she hit the nail right on top of the bloody head and they knew it. My mother was promoted to her job, never mind the fact that a perfectly good woman lost her job just because she had a backbone and stood up to them, it's an honor for my mother and one she certainly couldn't turn down. Ernie, he's not like my parents. He's courageous and true, he's a good man, or was any way. He was always great with words. He's been abroad some recently, giving speeches at rallies against You-Know-Who, warning about his increase in power. He wrote tons of articles for the resistance newspapers and pamphlets that get past around, like the Quibbler. He organized outreach programs for people whose families had been killed by either You-Know-Who or the Death Eaters. He had inherited my mother's ability to always say and do the right thing to the right people, and my father's drive. But Ernie hated politics, he wanted to make a difference, and he'd of made a damn good minister, but he didn't have the patience for all the corruption, didn't have any desire to play the games. My father threw my mother this big congratulatory dinner party last night, to celebrate her promotion. Ernie didn't want to go, he thought mother ought to have resigned in protest of the firing. But father insisted. It was one thing for me not to be there, I was away at Hogwarts, but if Ernie was not there it could cause a scandal. Ernie didn't really care about scandals, but he went anyway just to get father off his back. All of the ministry higher-ups were there, a lot of the wealthy supporters of the Minister, many of whom also have ties to You-Know-Who; a lot of them have children who are out right Death Eaters even. Ernie smiled and nodded like a good boy, but he left early. He was supposed to have a big rally this morning in London and so he was going to apparate back to his flat. He went out beyond our property in order to do so, but he never had the chance. Someone had tipped off the Death Eater's that he would be there, when he was about to leave, and they were waiting for him. They ambushed him and killed him just a few meters from my parent's house."

Lily and Aiden sat under the tree by the lake for hours, sometimes talking other times just sitting, reflecting quietly on their own grief. Lily understood Aiden's changing moods, at varying points wanting to talk, to the point of obsession, over the events of his brother's death, other times not wanting to talk at all, and still other times when he would recall a favorite memory. She understood, because she had been there, and she would not have wished that pain on anyone. She wished there was something more she could do to alleviate his pain, but there was not, and so she sat by his side and did the only thing she could: she listened and she was there.

A/N: The view of Mr. and Mrs. MacMillan may seem extreme, but unfortunately it is based on the reactions of real people all across Europe who watched and did nothing as their neighbors were rounded up in cattle cars and sent for "resettlement in the East" at places like Auschwitz and Treblinka. This chapter has been in my mind since the beginning and I dedicate it to the six million plus people who lost their lives with the hope that it never happens again.


	33. Chapter 33

James waited for Daphne in the Entrance Hall as she made her way down the stairs, looking thoroughly exhausted after her last class. This was not unusual, most of the students of Hogwarts wore the same harried expression as Daphne, and some looked downright panicked. It was the final Friday of the term; Monday would mark the beginning of their exams and the professors had spent the week cramming the last minute material into their students' brains, as well as attempting to dig up the information from earlier in the year. The looming specter of exam week even had an effect on the Marauders, who contrarily to popular opinion did study; they just didn't do it very often. James was fairly certain he hadn't seen Remus' face in the past week, as it was always obstructed by a book. Peter, who could never concentrate in the library during peak study times, had renewed his exam week tradition of borrowing the invisibility cloak in order to access the library at night. The result of course, was that as the week dragged on, Peter had become more and more sleep deprived. Although this was not necessarily a bad thing; a sleep deprived Peter was an irritable and sarcastic Peter. Most days Peter was a peace keeper, telling a joke at an opportune moment to break any tension, but sleep deprived- he had a sharp wit and a stinging retorts that kept the other three boys on their toes.

Daphne smiled as she caught sight of James. She couldn't help the curiosity from bubbling up inside her. He had sent her a cryptic note during Defense Against the Dark Arts this morning just asking her to meet him here after her last class, but he'd given no indication of why.

"Go for a walk with me?" James asked as he grabbed Daphne's book bag away from her and slung it over his own shoulder. She beamed at him, as she nodded her ascent.

"So what's this all about," Daphne asked several minutes later. They had walked in companionable silence, before settling up against a tree by the lake. The June sun was high in the sky, but under the tree, with the wind blowing cool lake water up at them, it was much more bearable.

"What?" James asked innocently. "Can't a bloke go on a walk with his girlfriend without having ulterior motives? I just thought it would be nice to get away from the school for a bit, what with exam week coming up and all." Daphne could not help but laugh aloud before formulating her response.

"Cut the crap, Potter," she said with a smile. "You can't use that fake innocent voice on me. In the words of Sirius Black you can't prank a prankster. So, what's up?" James winced slightly; he should have known that Daphne would see right through him. He'd watched over the past few weeks as Lily and Aiden MacMillan had grown closer, drawn together by their shared grief. He had not wanted to care, but he had. And so over the past few weeks he had wracked his brain for a gesture he could make in his relationship with Daphne, a step forward that would be a step away from Lily and hopefully make him feel more committed to his relationship with Daphne. He had come up with only one possibility, and in truth it terrified him.

"Come home with me, I want to introduce you to my parents. I know you've met them before and everything, but I want to introduce you to them as my girlfriend, and stay a few weeks and just be with me and my family." This had been his solution, because he'd told himself over and over again that the reason he kept imagining his future with Lily and not with Daphne was because he just had nothing to imagine. He had lived under the same roof as Lily, spent day in and day out with her, made her part of his family. He had no such reference point with Daphne, and he desperately hoped that once he did, he could finally forget about Lily Evans.

Daphne could not keep the smile from appearing on her face. She had wanted this moment, hoped for this moment for months, but she had never really believed it would come.

"I've wanted to ask you the same thing for a while now, but I didn't want to pressure you into a step you weren't ready to make. I can't believe this! This is so incredible to me," she said as she grabbed James head and pulled him to her for a searing kiss. "We should do both," she exclaimed excitedly. James warily recognized the look on her face. She was in full planning mode now, and as anyone who had ever attended a Daphne Brown party could testify she never did anything half-assed. This would be no different. "We could do two weeks with my parents and two weeks with yours, or vice-versa, whadya think?" She asked excitedly. James mustered as much enthusiasm as he could into his response. He had decided to commit to this relationship, and so now he had to suck it up and take the plunge.

"That sounds great." They sat there under the tree for a long time, sometimes talking other times not. After awhile Daphne leaned back, laying her head softly in James' lap, relaxing after the stressful week and allowing her mind to wander. James sat reading a book, gently twirling a piece of Daphne's hair around his fingertip. As he glanced down at her face, he could not help but wonder what thoughts in her head had inspired the look of absolute bliss currently resting on her face. ..

The warmth of the sun spread across Daphne's face as she sat contemplating James' surprise. His asking her to come stay with him was a bigger indication to her of his feelings even then him saying 'I love you'. She knew he'd never taken a girl home to his parents before, with the irritating exception of Lily Evans, but that was different. She, unlike Lily, would be staying in the Potter house as James' girlfriend. He wanted her to meet his family. To Daphne it seemed a small step away from wanting her to be his family. And in her mind that was where she currently was. She was laying under a tree, not on the grounds of Hogwarts, but in a park somewhere. Her head was resting on her husband's lap, and they both glowed with even more idyllic happiness as they felt the child growing inside her move slightly. Somewhere on the other side of the tree she could hear their other children laughing and playing, chasing each other, fighting over turns on the broomstick, and she felt completely at peace.

"I am in way over my head," James said as he walked through the door to the sixth year boys' dormitory.

"Oh not you too mate," Sirius said shaking his head disdainfully. "If you start getting all panicky about exams then the world must be off its axis."

"Not about exams," James said dismissively, as if the suggestion was ludicrous.

"Thank, Merlin!" Sirius exclaimed from his bed.

"I'm going to meet Daphne's parents, and take her to meet mine." The smile faded off of Sirius face, a dumbfounded look replaced it. He turned slowly to look at Remus, who was sitting with Peter on his bed, helping Peter review his Charm's notes. "Can you believe this, guy? He pulls the rug right out from under me, only to shove it right back under me, just so he can pull it right back out from under me again."

"Yes, because that was the point of that whole exchange." Remus said wryly.

"How'd she strong arm you into that one, Prongs?" Peter asked, glancing up from his notes.

"I suggested it," James answered dolefully.

"And the hits just keep on coming," Sirius said as he pretended to faint back onto his bed.

"Haha, would you please cut the crap and help me?" James said as he landed a well aimed kick at the leg of his best friend.

"You're not going to try and cancel on her?" Remus asked.

"Of course he is!" Sirius said sitting up. "Why else would he come to us?"

"Gee, I don't know maybe because you lot are my best friends and I need some support and advice on what the bloody hell I'm going to do so as not to make complete prat of myself in front of Daphne's parents!" The exclamation worked. All three boys sat reflecting on what James was asking of them. They wanted to help, but as none of the three boys had ever been involved in a relationship that lasted long enough to involve meeting anyone's parents. After several long minutes of deliberation Sirius finally spoke up.

"The thing is mate," Sirius said, motioning for James to sit by his side, "none of us have ever met a girl's parents before either. You're heading in to uncharted waters for any marauder."

"I know, I know," James conceded. "It is difficult to find time to meet parents when between the three of you the average length of a relationship is about a week," James said with a wry smile.

"Hey! I've had several relationships that have lasted a lot longer than that! I may not ever commit to one person seriously, because I can't, but I am perfectly capable of being a decent bloke where the ladies are concerned." Remus said indignantly.

"I know you are mate," James nodded his head earnestly. "I was talking about the group average and as most of Padfoot's relationships can be counted in hours, not days it brings down the group average."

"Hahaha, just because I like to spread my love around to all the ladies of Hogwarts…"Sirius began.

"That's not all he's spread around, I'd be willing to bet," Peter said slyly.

"I wouldn't be accusing people of spreading diseases, Pete," Sirius said with a laugh. "After all, I'm not the one who transforms into an animal that is commonly believed to have been responsible for the spreading of the plague!"

"Alright, alright," James said before Peter could respond. "Let's get off the topic of Pete's plague infected rat friends and Sirius' who knows what infected female friends."

"Just a minute, I want it made clear in this discussion that there is no evidence that I have ever given any girl of Hogwarts more than just my wonderful, sexy self." Sirius said.

"Well that's not entirely true," Remus said speaking up. "You once gave Charity Burbage fleas."

"I did not! Wait how did you know I hooked up with Charity Burbage? She wasn't exactly single at the time so I actually proved I was capable of discretion."

"Because her boyfriend was the size of a troll!" Peter interjected.

"It may have been a contributing factor," Sirius agreed with a smile.

"I know because Madame Pomphrey may have accidentally said something."

"Wait what does dear, sweet Poppy have to do with my sex life?"

"Apparently, Charity went to her when she started feeling all itchy. I guess she thought she had a rash or something. Anyway, it was fleas. Charity couldn't figure out where she'd gotten them, but Pomphrey suspected…"

"How in the bloody hell could she have suspected me? Nobody knows I can turn into a dog."

"She didn't you idiot!" Remus said with a laugh. "Aren't you paying attention? She suspected me. I felt bad for her; she was so embarrassed when she approached me about it. She wasn't being nosy or anything, she just wanted to offer me a remedy for the fleas. I took it and slipped some into your shampoo, just to be on the safe side, but I never told any of you because it was bloody embarrassing having Poppy interrogate me about my sex life."

"Oh, bless her," Sirius said with a laugh. "Trying to treat the werewolf for fleas!"

"Any idea where Longbottom is?" James said standing up.

"Last I saw he was down in the common room talking to Alice and Lily," Peter answered.

"Why?" Remus asked.

"Because it's quite apparent I'm not going to get any help from you bunch of skanks. I'll have to seek the advice of the only bloke we do know who's had a long term relationship."

"This is what it's come too?" Sirius asked in a somber tone. "Seeking out advice from that poor whipped boy? Peter go find a Divination book, this must surely be a sign of the Apocalypse!"

James forced his eyes to focus only on Frank as he walked up to the table by the window. He would not look at Lily, not even a cursory glance.

"Frank, can I talk to you…alone for a minute?"

"Yeah, sure," Frank said as he rose to follow James.

"Actually, Alice and I were just leaving," Lily said as she stood, she had not looked at James when she spoke and was continuing to glare at Alice.

"We were?" Alice asked with a wry smile. However after a moment under Lily's glare she changed her stance. "I mean, yeah, we were". She said standing to join Lily as they made their way up the stairs to the dormitory.

As soon as they were out of range of the boy's hearing, Alice turned on Lily, grabbing her by the wrist to stop her progress up the stairs.

"Why did you make us leave? If we'd stayed I could have made Frank tell us what James wanted when he came back. Now he's going to have time to come up with some line of crap because it's 'none of my business'". Alice finished with an expert imitation of Frank.

"It is none of your business," Lily said.

"Oh please, when has that ever stopped me?" Alice said with a role of her eyes.

"Why do you even care?" Lily asked.

"For you, of course," Alice said, as if that much was obvious.

"But I don't care!" Lily exclaimed, exasperatedly.

"You can believe that if you want, but as the one of us who is more in tune with your emotions, I know better," Alice said with a smug smile.

"How is it possible that you can be so annoyingly infuriating, and yet still be lovable?"

"It's one of my many gifts!"

"Oh, good, you're both back," Daphne said as Lily and Alice entered the dormitory. "I need your help. Mary was supposed to help me but she's come down with some awful stomach flu and I've had to take her to the hospital wing. Help yourselves to some soup by the way, it's her favorite, French onion, the house elves whipped it up for me, but Madame Pomphrey won't let her have any."

"Wow, that's a lot of soup," Alice said as she took in the strange sight of the large cauldron full of soup currently resting on Daphne's bedside table.

"I know, what can I say, the elves got a little over eager."

"This'll last us till break," Lily said with a laugh.

"It'll last us till next year," Daphne agreed.

"I suppose we can always donate it to the boys," Alice said with a shrug.

"Yeah, they'll wolf it down in no time." Lily agreed. "So, what is it you need help with?" She asked as she and Alice each grabbed a small bowl of soup and perched themselves on the edge of Daphne's bed, by which she was currently standing, half of her wardrobe having been thrown into heaps on Mary's unoccupied bed.

"James has invited me to come stay with him for a couple weeks over the summer and I need help planning out my wardrobe."

"Oh, wow, that's a big step. Congratulations, Daphne!" Lily said with a smile, one she hoped at least looked fairly genuine.

"Will you be staying at the Potter's this summer at all, Lily" Daphne asked the question sweetly, but her implied intent could not have been clearer: DON'T.

"No, it's nice of the Potter's to think of me, but I really need to get settled into my new loft. After all I can't stay at the Potter's house forever."

"That'll be fun, decorating and settling in, becoming your own independent person," Daphne said, with slightly too much enthusiasm. Alice turned away, pretending to cough, in order to role her eyes at her best friend and their roommate. It was all really too much for her to bear, and she wished she could slap Daphne upside the head since her best friend seemed unwilling to do so herself.


	34. Chapter 34

Voldemort heard the pop as the young man apparated to the place where his master was waiting for him. He turned as Severus Snape swooped into a low bow and kissed the hem of Lord Voldemort's robe.

"Rise, Severus," Voldemort hissed. "Come, walk with me. I have a special job for you, Severus." Voldemort said as he appraised Severus out of the corner of his snake-like eyes.

"I am honored, my lord." Snape said devotedly.

"Yes. The Dark Lord has not forgotten you Severus. You have, I know, a special talent. You are a skilled Legilimens, more talented than Bellatrix was at your age. And I shall instruct you, as I have instructed her, so that your skills will reach an even greater level." Voldemort, skilled Legilimens that he himself was, was a master at manipulating those around him. He understood what it was that each of his followers desired, needed most, and he provided it, thus gaining their total devotion. Just as Voldemort sensed that Bellatrix, cruel and conniving, had a lust for torture and causing as much pain as possible, a lust that Voldemort made sure was always satisfied, Voldemort also understood Snape. He knew that Severus strove to be considered special, great, and talented above all else. He was the often neglected son, loathed by his father, nothing more than a fellow prisoner and victim to his mother, and over looked by his long time beloved, Snape desired to be honored and praised. And so that is what Voldemort did.

"Th-thank you, my lord."

"There is no need to thank me, Severus. You have earned this important task with your hard work and dedication, and utter talent. This is a most important job, Severus. One that, I have always undertaken by myself, but which I must now pass on to you, and you alone. In September when you return for your seventh and final year at Hogwarts I need you to use your gift to better understand your school mates? Focus especially on your non-Slytherin class mates."

"What should I be looking for, master?"

"Possible recruits. The time will soon be upon us Severus, when we will need many who are willing to serve us. Many of them must be people who would never be considered as Death Eater material; people who we will be able to use as informants and spies, either within the ministry or within the Order of the Phoenix itself. I have found that it is a waste of time, for the most part, to target the natural leaders, they are sure of themselves and of their paths, but followers are more easily swayed. I do not wish for you to recruit them, I alone must do that, as it is a delicate and most treacherous process, but you must scout them out. Observe them; use your position as an older student and prefect to assist you in this process. And then report back to me, with what you find out. I do not expect this to be a quick and easy job, Severus. You should be thorough and leave nothing out in your reports. Do you understand what I am asking of you, Severus?"

"Yes, my lord. I will not let you down."

"Good, now go. I have much to think on."

Severus considered his new mission as he made his way down the street of Spinner's End. The factory chimneys loomed above him, as ominous and overbearing as ever. The Dark Lord had trusted him alone with this most important task, and he would not fail. He wished, without any real hope, that there was some way to recruit Lily. But even as he thought the idea he knew it was completely futile. The Dark Lord had told him that it would be a waste of time to recruit natural leaders, because they were sure of their path. He knew Lily, and Lily was a natural leader. A shoe-in for Head Girl with more conviction in her beliefs than most 17 year olds had about anything. She would not be swayed. This was something, although it pained him to admit it, that she shared with Potter. Something they could, possibly, in the future, bond over. He hoped, more than anything, that whatever had happened between them that resulted in their not speaking a word to one another since March, would still be in effect come September 1st and the start of term. In truth he hoped it would be in effect the rest of their lives. As his mind drifted from Lily to Potter and his band of baboons, a thought occurred to him. Peter Pettigrew was exactly the type of person that the Dark Lord had described to him. Snape did not know a lot about him, he had always focused his hatred on Potter, Black, and Lupin. Pettigrew had always just been guilty by association. He knew Pettigrew was a devoted friend to the other three and that it would be a long-shot to turn his allegiance. But if Severus could observe him more closely, learn his mind, uncover his secret yearnings and desires, then maybe, just maybe he could be turned. And if he could be turned he could give Snape, and of course the Dark Lord, the information that would bring about the end of James Potter.

James cursed inwardly as he and Daphne dismounted the Hogwarts Express and made their way to where her family was waiting for them. He was prepared for meeting her mother and father. He was completely unprepared for also getting reacquainted with her brother. Daphne's brother, Nate Brown, was six years older than James and Daphne. James vaguely remembered him as a seventh year during their first year at Hogwarts, but nothing close to enough to be guaranteed of a warm reception. The fact that James was dating Nate's beloved little sister, made the odds of that happening even slimmer. For the past few years Nate had been living in Paris with his fiancée Katie, so James had had high hopes that he would just have to deal with Daphne's over-protective father, and not the over-protective father and the over-protective brother, but his hopes were now dashed. Daphne, James noted, did not share his disappointment, and he was not in the least bit surprised. Everyone at Hogwarts knew how much Daphne admired and adored her older brother, she would carry his latest letters around with her for days upon receiving them gushing about his latest exploits and showing off whatever trinkets he had sent her. And so he was well prepared for the shriek of delight that Daphne emitted upon sighting her brother, and only slightly less so when she took off in a sprint to engulf him in a hug. James followed behind awkwardly not sure if he should introduce himself to Daphne's parents or wait for her to do so.

Luckily for him, Daphne was even more devoted to him than she was her older brother and so after hugging her brother quickly she linked her arm through James' and made the introductions. Both of Daphne's parents, William and Mitsy, were quite welcoming to James and seemed genuinely thrilled to finally meet him after months of reading Daphne's letters. And even Nate was pleasant enough, only putting slightly too much force behind the clap on the back he had given James in greeting.

James breathed in a sigh of relief. For now at least it seemed things with Daphne's family were going to be okay.

Lily rolled over in her bed and stared at the clock, which was currently showing a time of 1pm. She had always had two distinct schedules: one for summer in the muggle world and one for the rest of the year at Hogwarts. During the school year she was, like most of the other students of Hogwarts, deprived of sleep a good portion of the year. Saturdays were her catch up day- if she didn't have other things she had to catch up on. Summer, however, was different. She always woke up early in the summer, in order to enjoy a free reign of her house before Petunia had awoken. After which time she would usually exile herself to her bedroom where she would read, nap, or otherwise occupy herself well into the early hours of the morning. At the Potter's house she had, for the most part, lived a fairly normal schedule for a teenage summer of late nights and lots of sleep, taking her cue from James and Sirius, who quite often did not emerge from their respective bedrooms until well into the afternoon.

But now things were different. Lily had quickly learned in the few days she had been back from Hogwarts that there was a huge difference between the type of silence that engulfed a house when everyone was asleep, a kind of silence she had reveled in as a child, and the type of silence that surrounds you when you are the only one. The always prepared, perpetually organized prefect was becoming unraveled. The fact that for the first time in her life she was completely and utterly alone had shaken her. She could find no reason to get out of bed, could not think of any event for which she needed to get dressed. There was no one to clean the flat for, no one was going to visit or ever see it except herself. There was no one to wash her hair for, or even for that matter brush it, it would only get matted down again when she climbed back into her bed. There was no reason, there was nothing. Nothing but perpetual silence; and it engulfed her.

It was the third night of James' stay with the Browns and his first real test. Tonight was the first big family dinner. Tonight, Nate's fiancée Katie was joining them and it would be the first real bout of questioning he would receive from Daphne's father and brother. And if he were completely honest with himself, James admitted, he was not sure which of the two of them he was more intimidated by, and which of the two of them he should expect the tougher questions from.

He was sitting on Daphne's bed, watching her fix her hair for the coming evening, having long since given up on ever trying to make his hair cooperate, and for that matter wanting it too, he thought with a rogue grin as he ruffled it once more with his hand. He glanced around Daphne's room as she prattled on about this and that as she fixed her hair, only half paying attention. If he had ever imagined what Daphne's bedroom looked like, he could not, he didn't think, have ever imagined anything more Daphne than the room he was currently sitting in. Every possible surface of the room was covered in her favorite color: lavender. Calling the room a lavender explosion was an understatement in James' opinion. James and Sirius had teased the eleven year old Daphne about her obsession with the color by saying that she dreamt in shades of lavender, but after stepping foot in the room James was fairly certain that there was no way to avoid dreaming of the color as surrounded by it as she was. The carpet was lavender, the walls were lavender, her bookshelves were lavender, her closet doors were lavender, and as James already knew most everything it held inside of it was lavender. James had laughed upon hearing Nate refer to his sister as Lavender Brown, instead of Daphne Brown, because in truth the nickname fit her so well. She always smelled of the light lavender perfume she wore, and was usually if not completely dressed in the color, had at least one item in the color on her body, even if it was just her favorite, and for that matter James' favorite, bra and panties set. He had never fully appreciated it until coming in to her house, and hearing her brother call her Lavender, how much Daphne really was like a little thing of lavender in a garden. He conscientiously avoided the term flower in his mind, because he knew all too well that in his heart of hearts there was only one flower that mattered: a lily.

"So, James, tell us what are your plans after Hogwarts?" William Brown, Daphne's father, asked James after his wife Mitsy had finished set everyone's dinner upon the table.

"Um, well sir," James said, "I guess it all really depends on the war."

"The war?" Mitsy Brown questioned as she glanced up from her plate.

"Yes, mam," James nodded, "Unless something drastic happens during the next year then I'll be doing whatever I can to help the anti-Voldemort movement. Daphne did not flinch, after years of hanging around with James, Remus, and Sirius all of whom were steadfast in their use of the name it no longer seemed particularly shocking; but she was the exception. Daphne's mother dropped her fork in surprise at hearing the name, her father failed to fully suppress a shiver, and her brother grabbed his fiancée's hand as if he was afraid You-Know-Who might come bursting in upon them at any moment and he wanted to be sure he had hold of her in case he needed to apparate immediately to a safe place. Katie studied James carefully through eyelashes, not wanting to seem intrusive. She had grown up in London and had gone to Hogwarts, along with Nate, until her second year. It was at that time that her father was appointed Ambassador to the Ministry of Magic in France and her family moved to Paris and enrolled her in Beauxbatons. You-Know-Who had only just begun to become powerful when she had left London, and while stories of his horrors had certainly reached across the Chanel, she had been spared the worst of them because of the distance. Her aversion to the name was merely a picked up habit, not one learned out of the deep psychological fear felt by others at the table. Still, James Potter was the first person she had ever actually heard say the name, and he showed no sign of even registering that he had even done anything the slightest bit out of the ordinary. This seemed to indicate that he was used to using the name, and used to other people using the name. Something Katie found difficult to imagine, yet very intriguing. She knew her fiancée and future father-in-law did not agree. There had been a quantifiable shift in the atmosphere at the moment the name had been said. What had been a for the most part care-free evening, albeit tense as William and Nate Brown were sure to get over zealous in the examination of the boy dating Daphne, the beloved only daughter and much younger sister, but now it was as if there was a pressure pressing down upon each of them. Only James seemed unaware of the change, although Katie thought by a look of awareness in his eyes that he was much more perceptive and aware of what was going on around him than he let on. Katie wondered if he knew how bad things had just become, Daphne seemed to as she was now biting her lip to the point where it looked as though it might bleed. William, and for that matter, Nate were not cowards and they were not appeasers. They would both certainly admire any man who was willing to risk his life in the fight against evil, but there was a difference between admiration for bravery and wanting one's precious and much loved daughter or sister to be dating, possibly, knowing how deeply Daphne was devoted to him, married to him. While they could certainly admire the bravery of the young man before them, they even more certainly did not want the actions of a would-be-hero to unwittingly jeopardize the safety of Daphne, or even worse drag her along in his quest, and thus putting her in even more danger. Or even if they were to get married and James insisted on Daphne's staying out of the fight, they were terrified on Daphne's behalf of his death. How could either of them ever mend Daphne's heart if she lost her husband? What if she was left alone to raise a child or children who would never know their father? No, as admirable as James Potter's declaration most certainly was, they did not want Daphne's life and future happiness to be thus endangered.

It was Nate who spoke first. "Well that's certainly admirable. We were hoping that as soon as she graduates Hogwarts, Daphne will come stay with Katie and me in France, though. Get her away from the fighting, and the danger." He paused upon seeing the seething glare he was receiving from Daphne, and then in an attempt to appease her added quickly, "And you'd of course be welcome as well." The glare from Daphne had been enough to confirm her brother's worst fears: if James Potter was going to stay in England and fight against You-Know-Who, Daphne would not leave him. She would be in danger. And James Potter would surely mean the death of his baby sister.

James and Daphne walked around her neighborhood after dinner but neither of them spoke. They were both still concentrating on the dinner which had continued to increase in tension as the evening went on. Finally after they had been walking for easily ten minutes, Daphne, never one for silence could take no more.

"Say something, please!"

"You want me to go with you to Paris after we're done with school?" For a brief moment upon hearing the question Daphne's heart leapt in anticipation, but then she really heard James' voice and saw the hard look upon his face. Still, Daphne Brown was never one to hide the way she felt.

"Yes," she said simply. "But I know better than to ask." James nodded, but continued to press forward in the conversation. He needed to understand. He had never understood a hesitancy to fight. He knew with certainty that Sirius, Remus, Peter and himself would each join the fight upon leaving school. He knew that, despite his own misgivings about it, Lily most certainly would; and along with her Frank and Alice. Yet, he knew Daphne was no coward. She was a Gryffindor through and through, and he thought now he understood better. If it was just up to her, he didn't doubt that she would fight, but she was the most treasured thing in both her parents' and her brother's world and none of them would ever allow her to be in such danger. And he could clearly see how they must view him. He was getting in the way of their plan. Before Daphne had become involved with James, her idolization of her brother would have been enough to tempt her to living in France with him and his soon to be wife, but now they knew and James knew that she would not leave him. She loved him that much.

"Your parents and brother will still want you to go to Paris," James prodded.

"I wouldn't leave you." Daphne said. "Especially not when you're going to be in so much danger," her voice broke on the word.

"It's a bit of a problem," James said wryly.

"Maybe not," Daphne said hopefully. "The war could always end." James shook his head dismissively.

"It hasn't really even started yet," James said with a slight smile. He was brave to the point of a fault and while he knew with a grim certainty that things were going to get worse, he also wanted nothing more than to fight with every fiber of his being for what he knew was right, for the fate of his world. And he was arrogant enough to believe he could make a difference.

"Stop it." Daphne said with more force than she had planned, forcing James out of his thoughts of battle and glory. "I know I can't ask you not to fight. I know you'd never even consider it, but don't make me have to listen or see that dreamlike look on your face when you think about your idealized version of war. War is not cool. War means death, which you should know considering it was in your kitchen that they found Benny Fenwick's head! It was your parents who could have been killed by the fire, and you who almost bled out in Hogsmede!"

"I know that!" James answered back angrily. How dare she rub his parents' almost death in his face? "But don't you see? That's why I have to fight. Those murderers have hurt and killed so many people. My father is going to bear the scars of that night forever. I'll never forget seeing Benny's head on my table, or seeing the haunted look in Andromeda's eyes. And I'll never forgive the fact that they almost killed her…" His voice trailed off.

Daphne turned her head away, in a futile attempt to keep James from seeing the pain and anger in her eyes. He didn't need to say the name. They both knew who the 'her' was he was speaking about.

"The thing that kills me," Daphne said as she turned her face once again to look James straight in the eye, "is that if she were to ask you not to fight, to stay with her, you wouldn't hesitate for a minute." And Daphne turned and made her way back to her house, leaving a stunned James in her wake.

Lily grumbled as she made her way to her door. She was wearing pajama pants and a tank top and was certainly not expecting any company. She wondered fleetingly whether she should fetch her wand before opening the door just in case You-Know-Who or any of his cronies, she thought of one in particular, had decided to drop by, but she reminded herself that they most likely would not knock on the door. Her jaw dropped as she swung open the door and she saw the boy standing on the other side of it. What was he doing here?

A/N: Thanks for the patience! I've had a really rough couple of months and things have been really crazy on both the home front and the school front. I can't wait to hear you're theories on who it is at the door…so please review!


	35. Chapter 35

"Who knew that when left alone Priss the Prefect transformed into the Grumpy the Grouch", Lily's visitor said with a grin, from where he leaned nonchalantly against her door frame.

"What do _you_ want?" Lily asked with an edge to her voice.

"Aren't you going to invite me in? Honestly that's a bid rude, Evans."

"Oh, pardon me, Black," Lily said with a roll of her eyes. "You're right I'm the one being rude. Oh wait, no I'm not! You're the one who just showed up on my doorstep completely unannounced!"

"Think of me as a Christmas package, just arrived." Sirius said as he made his way into Lily's flat.

"There bloody well better be a receipt," Lily grumbled as she closed the door.

"Who knew the prefect was such a slob?" Sirius said as he surveyed the flat.

"I wasn't exactly expecting guests, or intruders for that matter." Lily said waspishly. "What are you doing here, Sirius? Potter's kick you out?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Sirius said with an exaggerated roll of his eyes. "My Uncle Alphard lives a few streets over with his house elf, Dixie. I always stay with him the first couple weeks of summer, just to see how he's doing and all."

"But I thought…"

"I hated my family? Yeah, I do. But Alphard's different. He didn't really come around much when I was a kid. He's my mother's brother and they never really got on all that well. Anyway when I was sorted into Gryffindor it was a family emergency. Mother summoned everyone; she was in such a state of hysterics. Uncle Alphard thought the whole thing was hilarious. He was a Slytherin himself, but he's always been a bit of an oddball, a free spirit, so I guess he related to me. When mother would barely speak to me that year at Christmas holidays, he let me come and stay with him and Dixie, and we've been pretty close ever since. "

"I don't think I ever heard Andromeda mention him before?" Lily mused.

"She never really liked him to be honest. He's a bit of an acquired taste. Suppose it comes from all those years of living alone."

"So it's just him and his house elf?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, Dixie's great. Wish my family's house elf was a nice as she is. Kreacher is well, he's a creature alright. They're actually siblings," Sirius said. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised that mother got on well with Kreacher, seeing as she's a bit of a creature herself; and I guess Alphard was always closest with Dixie. Anyway he freed her when he turned 17 and left home, but she's stayed with him all these years. The two of them are a pair these days, both as senile as can be, always forgetting where things are, neither one of them can hardly see worth a damn. I offered to stay with them, or to find someone to stay with them, Merlin knows he has enough money, but they're both as proud as can be and won't hear of it. It's always been the two of them and that's how it'll stay."

Lily nodded. It was an interesting story but it still didn't answer her question as to why Sirius was here in her flat.

"Well aren't you going to go change?" Sirius asked after a moment.

"Excuse me?" Lily asked, the edge returning to her voice.

"Well I suppose no one will really be looking at you when you're with such a fine specimen as myself, but still I think it's important that our prefect's keep up an appearance of superiority."

"Who said I'm going anywhere with you?" Lily asked pointedly.

"I did. Just now, weren't you listening?" Sirius said with a rogue grin. "You know there's no point in arguing, flower, I can be very persistent. Besides, I'm like herpes once you've got me you can't get rid of me."

"I thought the saying was like mold?"

"Yes, but what's life without a little sex?" Lily didn't answer and turned to grab clothes out of her dresser before marching off into her bathroom. "The question wasn't rhetorical? Really how is life without sex, virgin flower?"

"Fuck off," Lily called over her shoulder as she slammed the bathroom door behind her. And then a moment later she opened back, peeking her head and glaring at Sirius. "Call me 'flower' again and you'll be forced to live the rest of your life without sex, and if you even think about trying to undo the locking charm I'm about to place on this door, your life will be significantly shorter than you ever hoped for."

"You were right before," James said as he stepped inside the doorway of Daphne's bedroom the next morning. She was curled up on her bed, her face and hair seemingly the only thing that was not covered in lavender.

"I know," she said. Her voice betrayed no emotion, and neither did her face as she turned to look at him.

"I wouldn't hesitate if Lily asked me not to fight. My answer would still be the same."

"I know that, I guess I was just mad." Daphne answered.

"But why? It's not like this is something new. You've always known I was going to fight once we got out of school. I don't see why you're angry or what Lily has to do with anything."

"Because before you were just a child," Daphne said. "You wanted to fight because it was exciting and an adventure! You wanted to prove you were a Gryffindor through and through and not just in name only, but now you're fighting for a different reason. You're fighting for Lily Evans. You said so yourself just last night. You have to fight because they almost killed _her_."

"I didn't say that was the only reason. He tried to kill my parents! His people killed innocent people like Benjy Fenwick and his entire family! And yes his damned Death Eaters nearly killed Lily Evans and if given the chance would kill any other person of her blood status."

"But you're not risking you're life for every single muggleborn. You're risking your life because you don't want her to be in danger."

"I don't understand what your point is," James stated, confusion evident in his voice.

"My point is that I'm in love with you and I want more than anything else in this world to have a future with you. You asked during the last week of term what I had been thinking about under the tree by the lake to make me have such a look of complete contentment on my face and that was all it was. I was just imagining our future; nothing grand, no extravagant riches, or fame, or power, just love. I saw us lying under a tree. You were reading the paper and I was resting my head on your lap. Our children were playing tag running about the yard around us, and we both laughed as we felt the little baby inside me give a gentle kick. I guess I just hoped that you would realize that when you make your plans to go off to battle it's not just your life you're risking, it's mine. And I support you completely, but I guess I just wish you were leaving me and risking our future to fight to protect that future, and not for some other girl who you have some idealized notion of just because she was the subject of your first wet dream when you were eleven years old."

He nodded. He didn't quite know how else to respond. He didn't know or understand his feelings for Lily well enough for his own mind, never mind trying to explain them to Daphne. He had not forgotten the anger and pain he had felt following his last conversation with Lily months ago, but neither had he been able to completely close the book on his feelings for her. And so in answering Daphne's statement he focused only on the first part of her declaration, ignoring the latter part about Lily, although he knew that he could not avoid that discussion for much longer.

"I never knew you thought about things like that, like the future and stuff. I'm sor…" He began but Daphne cut him off.

"You don't have to apologize. You're a 17 year old boy; I don't expect you to be dreaming of a family. I just needed you to understand why this is so difficult for me."

"I'm glad you told me how you feel. It helps to understand better." And it did. And he understood all too well. He understood just how much Daphne loved him, and just how broken she would be if he could not be the man she wanted him to be. And he felt sick with self loathing. He had never fully appreciated until that moment how badly he had misused Daphne by trying to forget his feelings for Lily and forcing his mind to amplify his feelings for Daphne beyond those which his heart genuinely felt.

Lily grudgingly followed Sirius out of her loft and down the winding staircase out on to the London street below.

"So do you have a destination in mind or is your plan just to drag me around London all day?" Lily asked as she followed Sirius down the street.

"Do you always have to know everything, Evans? Can't you just wing it and act on impulse?" Sirius asked with a laugh.

"Number one, yes I like to know where I'm going when I'm being led off by some strange boy, and number two you should be glad I'm currently denying my impulses because were I to give in to them you'd find yourself dealing with the ramifications of a nasty hex."

"Touché, Evans," Sirius said with a mock gesture as though he was tipping his non-existent cap to her. In truth he was glad that she was reverting to her sarcastic side, because it was better than the alternative. It was true that he was in the neighborhood visiting his Uncle, but his visit to Evans' flat was anything but an accident. Sirius knew what it was like to suddenly find yourself without your family, to be on your own, without your parents, for the first time. And while it was true that he made do with the Potters and had felt more at home with them than he ever had with his own family, he still understood what Lily was facing. The sight of her disheveled appearance and seemingly ransacked loft that had met him upon her answering the door this morning had only confirmed in his mind that he was right to get her out of the loft for the day. "There's a place not far from here, I thought we could grab a bite to eat for lunch. And then I'm yours for the day you can do whatever you want with me," he said with a rogue grin in her direction.

"Don't tempt me Black, you may yet find yourself attached to something heavy floating to the bottom of the Thames; or even better, in the Channel heading out to open sea!"

"Such a lovely girl," Sirius said sarcastically as they made their way around the corner and up the block before turning in to the small restaurant that Sirius had mentioned. "And a great personality, always saying something sweet and kind to everyone."

"And to think, I thought I'd never find someone to bug me as much as Potter, but you're coming awfully close." Lily said as they were led to an open booth by the hostess at the restaurant, who added an extra sway to her hips as she took in the sight that was Sirius Black. Lily rolled her eyes as she slid into the booth, she honestly didn't see the attraction. Black was almost too pretty to be attractive, but she knew that she was in the minority, the vast majority of girls at Hogwarts would give their right arm to be noticed by Sirius Black, and Lily knew that many of them had given Black a lot more than that.

"James can get away with more because you and I don't have the same chemistry," Sirius said with a wink. His comment pulled Lily out of her thoughts.

"I do NOT have chemistry with Potter," Lily said indignantly.

"Yeah, and the hostess didn't undress me with her eyes when we walked in here," Sirius said with a roll of his eyes.

"Wow, and you're even more conceited than Potter. It's amazing Gryffindor wins any Quidditch matches, considering our Keeper and one of our Chasers have such large heads it's amazing their brooms can rise more than a meter off the ground."

"I agree, it just makes us all the more impressive that we're able to fly with such big heads, practically forces us to defy gravity."

"What can I get for you today?" The waitress asked, clearly trying to ignore Lily and speak only to Sirius. After they had given her their orders, she hovered needlessly for a few moments as if hoping to engage Sirius in conversation, but upon failing at this she skulked back to the kitchen dejectedly.

"Unbelievable," Lily said with a roll of her eyes.

"Jealous, Evans?" Sirius asked with a laugh.

"Not even close," Lily replied honestly. "More that I just lost respect for my gender."

"Ah, don't be too harsh on them. They can't all be as steadfast as you and resist this pretty face," he said with a cheeky grin. "And besides it's not like you've never had a guy make a complete fool of his self trying to impress you." He continued before she could interject her answer, which he was sure would contain fireworks. "And now that we are back onto the topic of my best friend and your fine self, you can admit that you and James have undeniable chemistry."

"Clearly not, since I just denied it. And there is no topic of me and Potter, because there is no me and Potter! There is only me, Lily Evans, and then totally separate there is James Potter."

"So are you in the habit of stunning men who you have no chemistry with, while they are naked?" Lily felt her traitorous pale skin blush red. She tried not to think about that morning, as it tended to cause a huge set back in her attempts to get over, and forget, whatever foolish feelings she had once had for James Potter. But at Sirius' words came unbidden in her mind the image of James, lean, yet muscled from years of Quidditch, sexy as hell, standing before her completely naked, and her pulse quickened. She shook her head, seemingly answering "no" to Sirius' question, but really just trying to pull herself back together.

"No, not yet. But if any other's try and sneak in on me while I'm taking a shower, I most certainly will." Lily said.

"Ah, but you're overlooking one important point, flo…" he trailed off at the look on Lily's face, "I mean Lily. You weren't actually taking a shower, were you? It was all a clever ruse designed specifically to get my besotted best friend naked." Lily had to laugh, she had no choice, it had been perhaps the sole moment in her life where she had pulled off an actual prank.

"He deserved it," Lily said after a moment.

"Ah, yes, that's right; it was an act of revenge for an encounter the previous evening." Sirius said with a wink towards Lily. Lily however, had no desire to remember this particular encounter, and merely rolled her eyes at Sirius, before breaking up his walk down memory lane.

"We both know what happened that summer, so why don't you go on and get to whatever ridiculous point you are trying to make?"

"Me? Ridiculous? Never!" Sirius said with a laugh before continuing. "I spent all last summer with the two of you under one roof, and you cannot possibly deny the existence of chemistry between you and James. You both were constantly either fighting, or playing mind games with the other, or flirting," he arched his eyebrows as if daring Lily to challenge the term, but she did not, "or whatever else you two got up too." Lily considered for a moment. She could deny it, again, but that would just provoke Sirius to embark on another series of remembrances that would just cause her to relive her heartbreak, and she did not want to risk his bringing up what had happened over Christmas break.

"Okay, clearly you are like a dog with a bone and are not going to give up, so how's this. We'll compromise. I'll tell you what you want to hear, within reason, and you get off of this ridiculous topic. I will agree with you that last summer, confined in close quarters, Potter and I did share some fireworks, but it was a purely in the moment type of thing. I don't think you can possibly deny," Lily added turning Sirius' words around on him, "that whatever chemistry existed between Potter and I, it certainly has evaporated, after all Potter and I haven't spoken in months on end."

"No, you haven't," Sirius agreed solemnly. He waited for a moment as if hoping Lily would elaborate more but she did not, and he knew better than to try his luck with this clearly contentious topic.

They spent the rest of the afternoon amicably wandering in and out of the muggle stores that lined the streets back toward Lily's loft, and Sirius kept his word, not bringing up James again. It was clearly a sore spot, as it was for his best friend, which gave him hope, on James' behalf. When they arrived outside of Lily's loft she hesitated for a moment.

"Thank you," she said sincerely, before leaning in and giving him a quick peck on the cheek, "for everything."

Sirius nodded in response. He knew in that moment that she knew now or quite possibly had known from the very beginning, she was incredibly bright after all, why he had come today. It had never been about a quick excursion from his Uncle's or even a fact finding mission for James, he had come because he knew and understood what she was being forced to face for the first time in her entire life: emptiness. He had somehow known that she would need to be rescued from herself, need someone to force her outside and back into the world, to remind her that it was still there, waiting for her, and so he had done it. Lily understood all those things and tried her best to communicate in that simple embrace her thanks for it, because Sirius Black, whatever else he may be, and she had a long list in her head of choice words that he certainly was, had thrown her a life preserver today that ensured she would be able to weather the tides of grief and loneliness.


	36. Chapter 36

Dearest Alice,

I am sorry about my zombie like responses to your letters over the last few weeks. I've been, as I'm sure you gathered, in a bit of a trance. And yes I am fully aware of the fact that had you been in England, and not in a pyramid somewhere in Egypt, you would have apparated to my flat fully intent on kicking my ass. Or at least that's why you would have said you were here; really you would just want to check on me. And I love you for that. But I promise I'm better now. And I will make it up to you for the rest of the summer by writing you a novel in each and every letter.

So the first week was hell. It was the first time in my entire life that I've ever been completely alone and the silence just kind of pressed down on me, weighing me down. I didn't have a reason to get out of bed, and so I just didn't. Not to be melodramatic but looking back it was like I was drowning, and I wasn't even attempting to swim. And then I was thrown a lifesaver.

So who was my hero? None other than the legendary Casanova of Hogwarts, Sirius Black. I'll wait while you pick your jaw up off the ground. I'm sure my expression was priceless when I opened the door to see him standing there. At first I was sure he was just there to torment me, and make no mistake he did torment me, but somehow he knew. I guess more than anyone else he understands what it means to be left alone, to be cut off from what family you have left, and somehow he just seemed to know that I would need someone to help me see that the world was still out there. And while I still think he is an arrogant, pompous, idiot with no regard for the rules, he's also a genuinely nice guy, who would do anything to help a friend. Who knew?

And so I was pulled from the water gasping for oxygen, but have managed to return to my pre-drowning self. If that makes any sense at all. I met Frank for lunch yesterday; I think he is bored out of his mind at the Ministry. As I'm sure he's told you his internship at the Auror office is really just sorting through tips about various Death Eater activity, most of them completely outrageous and idiotic, instead of getting to follow an Auror in the field as is usually the case with interns. Apparently it's too dangerous now to allow the underage to be in the field. Speaking of danger I think the fact that Frank has nothing to take his mind off the fact that you are currently interning as a curse-breaker in Egypt has made his paranoia about you getting hurt go off the charts. He wants me to emphasize to you not to do anything stupid or careless and to be careful. To be fair, I'm worried as hell about you as well, but I know better than to think you'll listen to either of us.

You will scream with delight when you hear about my new job! Did you know Alice Fortescue that your best friend is the newest Junior Potion Brewer Assistant for the ONE and ONLY Madame Primpernelle's Beautifying Potions Salon! If I listen really hard I think I can hear your scream of joy all the way from Cairo. And yes I get a discount! Now granted you already own every product, but I have a feeling you could still find use for my discount. Madame P. doesn't usually hire under 17s because most of her potions require a completion of NEWT Potions and so I never even thought to apply. But apparently her and Slug go way back and when she had lunch the other day with him and mentioned the opening he recommended me! I start Monday and am so excited. I mean as we both know Madame P is a legend in the potions world and obviously she basically founded the witch cosmetics industry, and I think I could really learn a lot from her. Slug says that if I do a good job she'll probably want to hire me on full time after Hogwarts. It's clearly what Slug wants and it would certainly be a tempting offer but I would have to think about it long and hard. I don't think I would feel right about making beauty products while people are fighting and dying. But as usual I'm getting a little ahead of myself, who knows I might make a royal fool of myself and she might fire me on the spot on Monday.

Well anyway, I hope this novel has satisfied you for now as my hand is now sufficiently tired and I have to go meet Aidan for lunch at the Leaky Cauldron. I cannot wait to hear back from you about all your adventures in the land of the Pharaohs. Please try not to get attacked by mummies.

Love always,

Lily

Daphne was glad that Mrs. Potter had accepted her offer to help set the table for dinner. She was so nervous about finally being at the Potter's and wanting to make a good impression of James' parents that her hands had begun to shake violently. Occupying both her hands and her mind by helping Mrs. Potter prepare for dinner had calmed each, and she had even managed to have a good conversation with Mrs. Potter.

"Daphne dear," said Mrs. Potter, drawing Daphne out of her thoughts, "I've kept you to myself this afternoon and I'm almost done here, why don't you run along and spend a little time with James before dinner. I'm sure he's quite put out with me for hogging you."

"Oh, alright, thanks Mrs. Potter." Daphne said as she finished setting the table for dinner and then made her way out of the kitchen and up the stairs to James' room, where he was bound to be.

Jillian Potter sighed as she glanced up from where tonight's soup was stirring itself under her watchful eye. Her reflection was slightly visible in the window overlooking her backyard. There was a slight breeze and the two swim towels James and Daphne had used to dry off after swimming this morning were waving back and forth from where they had been hung to dry. They had seemed to enjoy themselves, for which Jillian was immensely glad, and she, herself, had found Daphne to be a very sweet and charming girl, but something was still bothering her.

Jillian felt sure that had someone asked her a year ago to describe the perfect girl for her son she would have described Daphne from her blonde ringlets to her lavender shoes. She would've said with certainty that James needed a girl who loved Quidditch and loved to fly, who would understand and even share the thrill her son had every time he mounted a broom and took off into the sky. She would have been equally sure that James would need someone who liked to make jokes, or at least would enjoy and find hilarity in the pranks thought of by James and his friends. There was no doubt that the perfect girl for her son would also have to be the perfect girl for the other three Marauders. For James would never be able to handle being torn between his girlfriend and his three best mates, and the girl who her son chose would have to be secure and independent enough that James could still spend a great deal of time with his mates and she would also have to be able to handle the three boys, in particular Sirius, who Jillian knew better than most could be quite the handful. She would have to be vibrant and exciting, because as Jillian knew both James and Sirius had a tendency to lose interest in girls fairly quickly and move on to the next, if a girl were to win James' heart she had to also win his imagination.

And, having met Daphne for the first time the previous evening, she had been amazed to see that Daphne passed each of these "tests" with flying colors. Daphne was the seeker on the Gryffindor Quidditch team and based on the discussion of Quidditch Jillian had observed last night between Daphne, James and her husband, Daphne could hold her own in the passionate discussions James and his father always had regarding the various professional teams, something she herself had long since given up even attempting to do. This afternoon as she had talked to Daphne one on one she had also come to learn that Daphne was not opposed to bending, and many times outright breaking, the rules of Hogwarts if it was in pursuit of a good time, in particular a fabulous party or a hilarious prank. From stories she told it was obvious to Jillian that Daphne was friends with Sirius, Remus, and Peter in their own right's and not just as their friend's girlfriend. And as she and James had now been dating over six months she clearly had managed what no girl before her ever had, she had managed to engage his interest and hold it.

So what was the problem? Was it just that James was her only child and Daphne was the first girl he had ever brought home to meet her? Was what she was feeling merely stereotypical maternal feelings that no one would ever be good enough for her son? She didn't think so, this didn't feel jealous or protective and she just felt as though something were out of place. And as Daphne had left the room moments earlier she finally thought she might have an idea as to what was bothering her.

Because even though Daphne was the first girlfriend James had ever brought home, she was not the first girl. And unfortunately for Daphne, Jillian had seen her son with Lily Evans and that had changed everything. Daphne was perfect for the boy James currently was, but somehow Lily made James better. It had not escaped her notice this year that she had not received any letters from Dumbledore regarding the bullying of younger students. Or at least she had not received any letters regarding James' bullying of younger students. Sirius had had a few run-ins with some first and second year Slytherins but for both it was an improvement on previous years. And Dumbledore had informed her of her son's decision to give Severus Snape a chance for reform and reconciliation after the Hogsmede incident. Jillian had heard from day one of his first year about his hatred of Severus Snape, and she knew that there was only one thing that could make James give Snape such a chance. And that thing was Lily.

And even though Lily hated Quidditch, or at least hated having to climb into the sky high stands to watch it, due to her traumatic fear of heights, had, as far as Jillian knew, never been on a broomstick in her life, and with the exception of Remus whom she shared Prefect duties, had very little patience for any of the marauders, James included, Jillian somehow had known from the moment she had seen them together last year that Lily Evans completed her son. And in some strange way, bringing laughter into her life, forcing her out of her comfort zones, and daring her to follow her heart and not her mind, her son completed Lily Evans.

Lily,

I wrote back instantly because I was so glad to finally have a response longer than a sentence from you. You were right I am so thrilled about your new job! I will of course be your biggest, bestest, and most loyal customer despite the fact that I have spent almost all my spending money already and we're only three weeks in to summer! You had better start working straight away on some amazing moisturizing potion for me because by the time I get through 3 more weeks in this Egyptian desert with all this sand your best friend will more closely resemble a piece of sand paper rather than the uncommonly beautiful fetching witch you've come to know and love. Stop rolling your eyes at me.

On a more serious note, I am aware that I am driving Frank crazy and I am sorry about that but does he not see that he's the one shadowing aurors (even if he is doing desk work) chasing after Death Eaters, while little old me is about as far from the fighting as you could possibly be, just me and some old cursed mummies. Try and remind him of that for me. Maybe if he hears it from both of us it will sink in to that thick loveable skull of his.

Speaking of thick but loveable skulls, my mouth did drop to the floor at word of your visiting Marauder. Who knew Sirius Black had it in him? At the risk of provoking your wrath I don't suppose you'd like to join me in speculating whether or not his best friend was aware of his visit. Or even perhaps if said best friend sent him on said visit. Not to take anything away from Black himself, as you yourself said, he of all people would understand.

Write back soon! I miss my best friend dearly.

Love always,

Alice

Ps. you can't be mad at me because I didn't use the name so you can pretend as if you don't know who I'm talking about if you prefer.

James stared at the piece of parchment in front of him. He felt Daphne's eyes on him, apprehensive, and he could not blame her. His face must be one to behold. Did it show shock? Surprise? Complete and utter bewilderment? Because all of those things were what he was feeling. He knew she must be going crazy with anxiety but he could not find the words to calm her fears, he could not find the words to voice aloud the words in the letter. And so still completely stunned, he handed the piece of parchment to her, before sinking down onto his bead, attempting to wrap his head around the information it contained. Daphne anxiously grabbed the offered letter and began to read…

Dear Mr. Potter,

I am pleased to inform you that you have been selected to serve as Head Boy during the upcoming 1977-1978 school year. As Head Boy it is your duty to, along with the Head Girl, oversee the Prefects, perform nightly patrols to ensure that no students are out after curfew, and enforce the rules of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. As Head Boy you will also be afforded certain privileges, the most notable being the use of your own private dormitory and common room which will be shared with the Head Girl. Congratulations and please accept my wishes for a pleasant summer holiday.

Sincerely,

Professor Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Ps. while the above is a pro-forma letter I can assure you Mr. Potter that this is not a prank, although I think it would be well within my right to play a prank on you and your fellow marauders after all these years.

"He's gone completely mental," Daphne said upon finishing the letter. "I mean I always thought he was a bit eccentric, but he's really lost it." James had been thinking the same thing himself, but it still slightly stung to hear someone else think that Dumbledore must be off his rocker to place James in a position of authority.

"Thanks, Daph," James said sardonically.

"Oh, come off it! You know I don't mean it like that, but you have to admit it's pretty crazy. I mean like he said in the letter the Head Boy is responsible for enforcing the rules and for the last six years you've spent the majority of the time coming up with new ways to break them."

"Yeah, I know, perhaps he's trying a different approach, the whole it takes one to know one thing? Maybe he thinks I'm the best one to catch the rule breakers because well I am a rule breaker."

"Not to mention you're the best friend of the other three."

"There is that as well. I don't know. Do you think he's crazy? I mean I always thought Remus would be a shoe in."

"I think that you are an amazing individual, one who I am hopelessly in love with, and I think that if Dumbledore sees even half of what I see when I look at you, then it's really no surprise at all that he's picked you."

"Thanks, Daphne. That really means a lot to me." James said as he leaned in and gave her a quick kiss. He expected this kiss to turn in to a more heated kiss, as he and Daphne weren't exactly known for their self-control around each other, but in an odd occurrence she had something else on her mind and pulled away after a moment.

"What's the matter?" James asked.

"Nothing," Daphne said, shaking her head while averting her eyes, "I'm really happy for you, I know how much Dumbledore's approval means to you."

"Okay, great, but you don't seem happy. Come to think of it you haven't cracked a smile since you read the letter."

"I guess I'm just shocked. You should go tell your parents I'm sure they'll be thrilled."

"Yeah, okay" James said a little uncertainly. Something was clearly bothering Daphne, but she was right his parents would be thrilled and to be honest so was he. Because Daphne was right about something else as well, he admired Dumbledore more than anyone else, with the exception of his parents, and he was grateful that the Head Master had decided to trust him with such an important job.

Alice,

Guess what? I just got my letter from Dumbledore and he's named me Head Girl! Okay so I know you've been expecting this but I really didn't want to get my hopes up, but now that it's official I can confirm to you my darling best friend how excited I truly am. Of course I'm honored that Dumbledore has chosen to entrust me with such an important job, especially in times as troubling as these, but I have to admit that I am most excited about the private dormitory so that I can escape that awful Alice Fortescue, I mean she is such a bitch. Hahaha. No in all seriousness do you realize this means we will finally have somewhere to escape Daphne and Mary and talk just the two of us. Not that I don't love Mary and Daphne when she's not sticking her tongue down the unmentionable's throat (smiley face! Heheehe) but this way we can actually talk and not worry about being overheard. I wonder who the Head Boy is. I do hope it's either Aidan or Remus. I suppose Terrance Boot, the Ravenclaw Prefect, would not be too bad, but he's a bit boring and I wouldn't relish the thought of having to share a dorm with him. I suppose it would be nice for it to be an all Gryffindor Heads year as that hasn't happened in ages, but to be honest as much as I adore Remus, I'd hate to have the Marauders constantly in the common room. But so long as it isn't a Slytherin, which if it were one it would almost certainly be Severus since he's their Prefect, I'll be fine. Surely Dumbledore wouldn't pick him? Not after knowing that he's a Death Eater and attempted to kill a student last year, even if that student was James Potter. Damn I mentioned him accidently. Oh I've enclosed a bottle of a moisturizing solution that Madame P. has been working on. She laughed when I inquired about one because she had just finished a prototype for one the night before. So yeah feel special as this has not even hit shelves yet!

Lots of Love,

Lily

James watched Daphne out of the corner of his eye throughout dinner, scrutinizing her every move, every facial expression. Dinner was, for the most part, a festive occasion as his mother and father insisted on celebrating his appointment as Head Boy. And while Daphne smiled for every toast to James and laughed at all the appropriate moments, James could tell her mind was elsewhere and that something was bothering her. For one thing, she was quiet, and as anyone who knew Daphne knew, she was never quiet.

As they made their way up the stairs after dinner he pulled her through the door to his bedroom, shutting the door, before cornering her.

"Do you mind telling me what's bothering you?"

"Nothing, I'm fine." Daphne answered in a tone that said something clearly was wrong.

"Oh yeah it sounds like it," James answered sarcastically, and then serious again he added, "It just seems like you don't want me to be Head Boy."

"Don't be stupid. I already told you I was happy for you."

"Yeah but it doesn't seem like you mean it."

"Well I'm sorry!" Daphne exclaimed. And James knew that whatever she had been trying to hide from him was now going to come out, most likely peppered with swearing because she had finally had it with his prodding. "I'm sorry that I'm not jumping for fucking joy that my boyfriend is going to be sharing private living quarters with some girl who we both know that unless Dumbledore went off his rocker for both selections is going to be Lily fucking Evans. It's just what every girlfriend wants, a chance for her boyfriend to live with a girl he's been obsessed with since he first laid eyes on her." James blanched. He had honestly not given much thought to who the Head Girl would be, as he had still been focusing on the shock of becoming Head Boy, but now he felt sure Daphne was right. Lily was the most likely choice to be Head Girl, which would mean they would be living together in very close proximity. Which could go one of two ways, and considering they hadn't spoken in months, death seemed the more likely of the two alternatives.

"So you don't trust me? In case you've forgotten Lily and I have lived together before, two times in fact!"

"Yeah and the first time she had the opportunity to stun you completely naked and the second time, after you and I were already dating I might add, you made out on the back of your fucking broom stick!" James' eyes grew wide and in that moment of shock he said the first thing that came to his mind.

"How do you know about that?" Daphne, who moments before had looked terrified with herself for allowing her anger to get the better of her and reveal her knowledge of an incident she had previously claimed to think was nothing more than a stupid rumor, expression changed to one of pure anger at James' response.

"Wrong response," she said in a deadly tone. "When you've come up with the correct one and are ready to apologize for being an unfaithful jackass and to grovel on your fucking knees for my forgiveness I'll be down the hall."

James couldn't help but feel she was quite justified in her reaction. What kind of an idiot responds to accusations of cheating by inquiring how his girlfriend found out about the indiscretion? Apparently he did. And so now she was down in her bedroom awaiting his apology. And he was sorry for hurting her, he had truly never meant to do that, but he didn't think he could ever be, regardless of what had transpired between them since then, sorry for kissing Lily.

Lily. She was the only possible person who could have told Daphne about the kiss, as the only people he had told had been Sirius, Remus, and Peter, none of whom would ever betray him. But why would she have done such a thing? After all he had been willing to tell Daphne what had happened, break up with her, and get together with Lily. She had been the one who had insisted that nothing could happen between them because she didn't want to interfere with his relationship with Daphne. Well, in James' opinion, telling Daphne about their kiss was probably the most interfering thing she could have done. And then there was Daphne. Daphne who had made him feel like the world's biggest prat by declaring her unwavering trust for him and her certainty that he would never do anything to betray said trust, when all the while she had known the truth! Why couldn't either of the women in his life just be straight with him? It was absolutely maddening. And at the moment he couldn't quite decide which of the two of them he was more annoyed with, although granted he did think Daphne had every right to be infuriated with him.

Daphne closed the door to the bedroom she was staying in at the Potter's home. She felt as if she were teetering on the edge of a bottomless cliff. She hated herself for becoming so angry at James; it wasn't as if she had just found out about his fling. She had known for months and had said nothing, but somehow seeing him confirm the truth of what she had learned from Peter, and to be more concerned with how she found rather than the pain this knowledge caused her had shattered her heart. And she was furious. But she was also painfully aware of the fact that in spite of the pain he had caused her, she was still in love with him and was completely committed to their life together. She could not lose him.

"I am sorry, Daphne. I swear I never meant to hurt you." James said as he slid open the door and stepped inside the room, sitting down on the bed next to Daphne.

"I know that," Daphne said, tears welling up in her eyes, as she laid down her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her and lightly kissed the top of her head.

"Can I ask why you said you trusted me and didn't believe all the rumors about me and Lily when you knew the truth?"

"I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't believe it. So I just made myself believe it was all lies and telling you was as much about making you believe in us as it was making me believe in you." They each sat their quietly for countless minutes, each trying to determine what would come next.

"Daphne, you know that I care about you. And I've always considered you one of my closest friends, but lately we've been fighting more often than not and I hate being like that with you. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to ruin what we have so maybe we should just break…"

"Take a break." Daphne interrupted him. "I agree that a break would be good for us. Give us time to clear our heads and get some space, realize how much we mean to each other."

"Um," James said, not completely sure what to say in response. He had been about to suggest that they break up, but apparently Daphne had misunderstood. He knew he had already hurt her, he really didn't want to add insult to injury, and wasn't a break just a nice way of saying break up anyway?

"We should take the rest of the summer apart," Daphne continued, "and longer if you need . But I need you to know that no matter how long it takes for you to realize that I'm the one for you, I'll wait for you." She finished, tears now streaming silently out of her eyes. She leaned over and kissed him ardently, as if trying to put everything she felt for him into this one last kiss.

James hugged her, still unsure of exactly what to say, still hating himself for having hurt her so badly. As he rose to leave, Daphne stopped him.

"After your parents are asleep do you think you could come back? Not to have sex or anything, it's just that if we're going to take a break I'd like to spend our last night together for awhile in your arms."

James nodded his consent.

And that night as he held her in her arms he felt sure it would be the last time. He still cared deeply for Daphne, hated himself for hurting her, but somehow in spite of all the anger he still felt towards Lily, he couldn't stop himself from loving her. And because of that he now knew he would never be able to give Daphne everything she needed, he only wished he had figured it out sooner in order to avoid the pain he was now inflicting on her.

As Daphne lay in James' arm that night she did not allow herself to doubt that one day they would be together again, that one day he would hold her like this again, having realized that Daphne, not Lily, was the girl of his dreams. And they would lay like this, together, for the rest of their lives. And had she known that in reality this would be the final time James would ever hold her in his arms, she would have never let go.

A/N: Wow okay this one was really long, longer than I originally expected it to be! On Word it's a whopping 13 pages! A couple of thoughts… I am planning on writing quite a bit from now until New Years when I begin my Honors Thesis process so that hopefully I have enough done to hold you over during that process. My question is would you rather me post the chapters one right after another or spread them out like one a month to keep you busy while I'm working on thesis? Feel free to message me or comment with your thoughts on this.

PS. I know a lot of you either don't like or really don't get Daphne, which is understandable (for obvious reasons) but if anyone is interested in kind of understanding where Daphne is coming from in this chapter and throughout with her actions (many of them not nice) in regards to James and Lily I was constantly listening to the song "Jolene" performed by Mindy Smith (although the original Dolly Parton version works as well) because I felt like it perfectly portrayed the complete fear Daphne has of losing James. And it doesn't hurt that the "other woman", Jolene, in the song is described just like Lily. So yeah check it out if you feel like it after reading this chapter! Xoxox ENJOY DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 1! I CANNOT WAIT!


	37. Chapter 37

Professor Dumbledore,

I wanted to write to you about your decision to make me head boy. I need you to know how honored I am that you've placed such a huge amount of trust in me and I promise that I won't let you down. But I need to make sure of something and I hate to even ask, but I have to know. Why didn't you pick Remus? He's a 100 times more responsible than me and as Prefect he already knows what is required of the Head Boy. I guess what I'm saying, sir, is I need to know that you didn't pick me over Remus because of his condition, because if that is the case, as honored as I am, I have to turn it down. I hope you understand.

James Potter

Severus Snape walked down Knockturn Alley weaving around people as he made his way into the more populous Diagon Alley. He wanted to people watch. His new mission from his master weighed heavily on his mind, and if he was going to do it to the best of his ability he needed to hone his observation skills, picking up on what others missed, zeroing in on those who could be turned into loyal servants of the Dark Lord.

He saw Bertha Jorkins, a Hufflepuff who had graduated a few years previously. Snape registered her overly trusting smile as she recognized him and reminded himself of the fact that not only was she naïve but also incredibly nosy. It would be all too easy to trick her into giving him information for the Dark Lord, but the question was whether or not any of the information she would obtain would be valuable. She was not very smart, after all, and he doubted that Dumbledore would recruit her as a member of that blasted Order of the Phoenix. On the whole, he thought not.

He saw Leena Sharejoy and Xeno Lovegood sharing an ice cream sundae outside of Florean Fortescue's parlor, but did not give them much thought. Neither of them would be of any use to him. Lovegood, though an eccentric idiot in Snape's opinion, was devoutly loyal to the Order of the Phoenix and was constantly publishing stories the Dark Lord would have rather had kept quiet in his rag, The Quibbler. And Leena, the recently graduated Head Girl, she was both far too smart to be tricked and far too moral to be persuaded.

But through the crowds one mind was thinking thoughts loud enough to draw Snape's attention to him. He recognized the boy as Walden MacNair, a Ravenclaw, who was in Snape's year at Howarts. Snape had never paid much attention to MacNair. There was no doubting that the boy was smart, he was a Ravenclaw after all, but he'd been rejected from the Slug Club, by Slughorn, after attending a few meetings, because the boy never seemed comfortable around other human beings. And now Snape understood why. MacNair's thoughts as he watched the various animals playing in the Magical Menagerie were not thoughts about the animals themselves, but more about his plans for them. MacNair, it would seem, had a pension for torture and execution. Snape saw in him the same kind of fiendish joy from tormenting other creatures that he so often sensed in Bellatrix. MacNair had never considered transferring these hobbies to people, but Snape knew that if the passion for cruelty existed within him, it would not be difficult to sway his mind to practice on bigger targets. And so Walden MacNair, completely unaware of the fact that he was being observed by Severus Snape, became the first name on Snape's list of recruits. But he would not be the last.

Snape smiled to himself as he continued on his way down the street, glad to have already begun in the task that had been set to him. But as he came even with a store he had never paid any attention to, some ridiculous beauty supply store that all the witches were constantly bustling in and out of, his eyes settled on the one witch who never failed to catch his notice.

Lily Evans, his beautiful Lily, was adjusting the window display, attempting to better showcase the products. He stood watching her, completely caught up in her beauty. The sunlight streamed through the window, giving her hair the appearance of shining copper, a halo around her face. She turned away from the window, responding to some stimulus, and moments later he saw why. She was now involved in conversation with her fellow Gryffindors, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Snape hated them. It was true his hatred for them was nothing compared to his feelings for Black and Potter, but the fact that Lupin and Pettigrew were able to stand there laughing and casually talking with Lily, when she would not so much as even acknowledge his presence when he would try and catch her eye in the corridors between classes was infuriating.

"Hey, Lily!" Remus called to Lily as he and Peter approached where she was adjusting the window display.

"Remus, Peter, what are you to up today? You look so strange without your louder and more obnoxious other half," She added with a smile.

"We are the better looking of the four," Peter said with a sarcastic laugh, for as they all three knew, no one was better looking than James Potter and Sirius Black.

"Cheers to that mate," Remus said with a laugh, winking at Pete.

"So, Remus have you heard if you're the new Head Boy?" Lily asked. Peter looked as though he were about to say something but Remus silenced him with a look.

"Um no, it's not me. I presume you're our new Head Girl?" he waited for her to nod before continuing. "A well deserved honor, Lily. Congratulations!"

"Thanks," Lily said before continuing. "I thought for sure it must be you once Aidan said that it wasn't him either. I suppose that leaves Boot or Merlin forbid a Slytherin."

"Mhhhmmm," Remus nodded without conviction, whilst Peter seemed to be looking everywhere except Lily's face as if afraid to say something.

"Are you two, okay?" Lily asked suspiciously.

"Yeah, we're fine, we just um need your help," Remus said quickly.

"Oh, okay," Lily said, diverted. "What do you need?"

"Well, it's a bit sensitive," Remus said casting about for an excuse, "You see Pete here needs a gift for a girl, and we have no idea about any of this stuff."

"I what?" Pete asked turning to look at Remus, before changing tact, "I mean yeah can you help Lily, I've no idea what to get."

"Oh, sure" Lily said enthusiastically. She'd never thought of Peter as the romantic type, but she supposed that it must be difficult for him as most girls would fail to notice him when he was constantly surrounded by his infinitely better looking three best friends. "So who's the lucky girl?"

"Oh, um it's, well," Peter stuttered before Remus jumped in.

"Greta Catchlove," Remus said with a rogue grin. Peter turned quickly to look at Remus, shooting him an infuriated glare.

"The Hufflepuff who's always carrying around tons of cheese?" Lily asked confused.

"That's the one," Peter said, still glaring at Remus. "I've always held Greta and her mound of cheese in the highest regard." Remus snorted but managed to pass it off as a particularly violent sneeze.

"Oh, okay," Lily said, thinking to herself that the personality traits boys seemed to prize in girls were certainly different than the one's girls prized in boys. Or at least she didn't think she would ever find herself attracted to a boy who was best known for caring around large amounts of cheese, or any other dairy product for that matter. "Do you have any idea what type of fragrance she might like? Girls always like perfume."

"No idea," Peter said shaking his head. "Whatever the cheapest thing you have is," he added quickly, glancing at the price at some of the bottles on shelves.

"Aw Pete, you're such a romantic," Remus said with a roll of his eyes. Lily smiled.

"Here Pete, why don't you try this," Lily suggested handing him a small bottle. It's a pretty mild fragrance so you won't have to worry about her not liking it. And," she added helpfully with a grin, "it's only 7 galleons."

"We'll take it," Peter said, before Remus could get him into any more trouble.

As the duo made their way down the street Remus laughed hysterically, while Peter exclaimed his lack of use for the perfume, no matter how mild or cheap it may have been.

"And why couldn't you have come up with someone better for me to fancy than Greta bleeding Catchlove the cheese girl?" Peter asked, shaking his head.

"I know, I'm sorry mate," Remus said sincerely. "She was on to us about the Head Boy thing, and well I know James will want to surprise her. I wonder how he'll take knowing for sure that she's the Head Girl? But anyway, I was casting about and her name just popped into my head. But you have to admit it is kind of perfect, the rat fancying a girl who is strangely obsessed with cheese." And with that both boys collapsed in fits of giggles. It was several minutes before Peter could finally respond.

"Well, I'll give you that it has a sense of irony about it. And I reckon James will take the news a right bit better than Daphne will," and they both winced at the idea of Daphne discovering that her sort-of ex-boyfriend would be sharing living quarters with Lily.

My dear Mr. Potter,

I've known you since you were a little boy, but I don't think I've ever been as proud of you as I was upon receiving your letter. Your indignation at the perceived injustice against your friend highlights one of the reasons why I have chosen you as Head Boy. In answer to your accusation I say this, had it been any other year I would have most certainly chosen either Mr. Lupin or Mr. MacMillan, but as you know we are at war. These are extremely dangerous times and I needed a Head Boy, and Girl for that matter, who was not only a gifted student but also a natural leader. I am aware that there are many in your generation who have chosen to follow Voldemort, and I feel certain that he is not done recruiting amongst my students, and therefore I feel that the rest of the student body is in more danger this year than it has ever been before. It is the duty of the Head Boy to ensure, along with myself, the faculty, and the Head Girl, the safety of the students of Hogwarts. And for this most important task, I think there is no one better than you to serve as this year's Head Boy.

Sincerely,

Albus Dumbledore

"I need to see this letter for myself, mate." Sirius said as he and James sat eating breakfast in the Potter's kitchen, Sirius having arrived home from his Uncle's a few minutes previous.

"It's upstairs, I'll show you once we've finished eating," James said with a smile, glad to have his best friend back in the house.

"I can vouch for it Sirius," Mrs. Potter called over her shoulder as she monitored the mop and bucket that were currently cleaning the kitchen under the control of her wand. "I've seen it with my own eyes."

"Unbelievable. Dumbledore's really chosen you to be Head Boy? When you wrote I thought sure you were attempting some lame joke."

"As if I would ever do anything lame," James said with a roll of his eyes.

"Well you must have done something lame," Sirius said under his breath, as Mrs. Potter was still in the room, "as your girlfriend was still supposed to be here, but clearly she isn't."

"Very funny," James said sarcastically. "I wrote to you about that as well or did you think it was just a mere continuation of the joke?"

"No I just couldn't believe Daphne would leave so voluntarily. I always imagined I'd have to find a chainsaw and pry her from you," Sirius said with a wink.

"Bastard," James said with a laugh.

"And proud of it," Sirius said.

The boys finished their breakfast, aware of the ears of Mrs. Potter, who, granted, they usually ended up confiding in anyway, but still wanting to catch up about everything that had occurred over the past month in private. After they cleared the table, James helped Sirius carry his things back upstairs to his room, where they finally sat rehashing everything that had happened to each of them.

"So I went to see Lily while I was visiting my uncle," Sirius said as they lounged in his bedroom. It was a mark of the depth of their friendship that it never crossed James' mind to ask whether anything had happened and Sirius never once felt the need to assure him. They both knew that they could trust one another implicitly with everything from pranks, to girls, to their lives. And so at Sirius' announcement James merely looked up at his best friend in mild surprise before continuing with their conversation.

"I bet she loved that," James said with a grin, considering Lily's reaction when _he _had unexpectedly shown up on her doorstep the previous summer.

"Little Miss Priss the Prefect, or I guess Priss the Head Girl as we should call her now, has quite the mouth on her when she's angry."

"That she does," James nodded warily. He, more than anyone else, had been on the receiving end of Lily's temper. "You're going to have to come up with a new nickname though, mate. 'Priss the Head Girl' just doesn't have quite the same ring to it."

"True, that, it lacks the alliteration."

"Look at you all fancy with your literary terminology," James laughed.

"You should know by now, Prongs, I am a man of many surprises. And now on a different, but closely related note, how do you feel about sharing your Head duties with Miss Evans?" When James merely shrugged noncommittally in response Sirius prodded, "Come on Prongs, it's me. You can tell everyone else, yourself included that you're over Lily, and have been since you started dating Daphne. You can continue not talking to Lily for another semester if you'd like to prove the point that the whole debacle over Christmas last year hurt you and seriously pissed you off, because I know it did. But don't think for a minute that I don't know that somewhere deep down in that thick head of yours you don't still have feelings for Lily Evans. Because I know you do. And I know that you are feeling something about the idea of living and working in such close proximity to her for the entirety of our seventh year."

"How long did it take you to think up that speech?" James asked.

"All last night," Sirius responded with a grin. "It was good, yeah?"

"Damn good speech, Padfoot." James assured him. "And to be honest I don't know how I feel about Lily being Head Girl, or rather I don't know how I feel about being Head Boy. Lily deserves to be Head Girl, she's earned it, but me? I actually wrote to Dumbledore. I was worried that maybe he didn't pick Remus because of his…condition."

"Prongs," Sirius attempted to interrupt in order to assure his friend that this could surely not be the case.

"I know, Padfoot, I know. And Dumbledore wrote me back and told me in his usual way all the reasons why he'd chosen me and everything he said makes sense, I just am terrified that I'm gonna screw this up, royally, and fail him."

"You're not going to mess it up, James." Sirius said, placing a reassuring hand on his best friend's shoulder. "You're a good man, James Potter, and you're going to make one hell of Head Boy. Don't forget that, even the rest of the year when I'm teasing you relentlessly about being a goody-two-shoes now, I'm still bloody proud of you."

"Thanks, mate." James said as he gave his very best friend a hug.

"Now, stop stalling on the Evans issue!" Sirius said with a laugh as they pulled away from the embrace.

"Damn, you caught me!" James said with a smile. "I don't know, honestly I don't. From the standpoint of wanting to do a good job and wanting to make Dumbledore proud, I know I couldn't have a better partner than Evans. I mean, Merlin knows that I'll have no idea what the hell I'm supposed to do. I mean it was Moony who was the Prefect; I don't know what half my duties and responsibilities even are. So I'm glad I'll have Evans there to kind of show me the ropes and everything, but I don't know Padfoot, things have just gotten so complicated with us.

"Do I still have feelings for her? Yeah, if it's one thing that I've learned from these last six months with Daphne it's that those feelings will never go away. I will never meet someone more perfect for me than Daphne, and I think that's why I wanted it to work out so much, but I could never make myself feel for Daphne what I've felt for Lily since our first night at Hogwarts when she read us the riot act for how we'd treated Snivelly.

"But I don't know if I can trust her. I mean I trust her with my life," James hastened to clarify as Sirius looked about to speak. "She's a damn good witch and like I said I'm thrilled she'll be the one to have my back on patrols and everything this year. But I mean with my heart. No comments about how pathetic that sounds, Padfoot or so help me I will hex you. She played all those games with me over Christmas, about how she didn't want to interfere with my relationship with Daphne and she didn't want me to break up with Daphne and everything else. Only too then go and TELL Daphne about what happened and get pissed at me for NOT breaking up with Daphne."

"I'm with you there, mate. That was just plain confusing. But I guess that's girls for you, isn't? Always playing games and changing their minds about what they want and everything else."

"I suppose," James conceded. "How was she, Sirius? When you saw her? Was she doing okay? Being alone, I mean."

"Not when I got there," Sirius answered honestly. "But I think she just needed a little push; something to remind her that the world was still outside those walls, waiting for her. She'll be fine, James, she's a strong one that girl of yours".

"Not my girl, Padfoot."

"Not yet anyway." Sirius said with a grin.

A/N: I know not a lot of action happens in this chapter but I felt the need for some James/Sirius bonding time after having them apart for several chapters. Besides there was a lot of Lily's feelings in the last chapter with her letters to Alice, and so I wanted to make sure I gave equal opportunity to talk to his best friend. Do guys do that? I feel like James and Sirius would, but to be honest reading their conversation back reminds me a lot of me and my best friend and the conversations we've had about boys since we were in 4th grade, and still have as juniors college for that matter.

The next chapter SHOULD include Lily discovering who the Head Boy is on the Hogwart's Express, but it might be at the very end of the chapter. I know everything that happens in the next chapter, I just haven't quite nailed down the pacing yet. So anyways I hope you enjoy! And be proud I have exams but I'm still managing to keep my promise and update frequently throughout December.


	38. Chapter 38

"Do you think they ever suspect what you get up to with all those animals?" Severus Snape asked as he fell into step with Walden MacNair, who had just exited the Magical Menagerie. Snape had watched him closely for the past month, ever since the Ravenclaw had first come to his attention on a day much like this one in Diagon Alley. He had kept his master informed and the Dark Lord had granted Severus permission to make contact with MacNair, who if Severus was successful, would be his first recruit.

MacNair's expression gave nothing away. In fact he barely glanced up as the Slytherin boy fell into step beside him. He knew Snape had nothing on him. He had always been careful and besides if the rumors were true Snape had his own skeletons in his closet, and would not risk attempting to turn him in because of the attention it could reflect back on Snape.

"Get up to with them? I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Severus. I'm pursuing my NEWT in Care of Magical Creatures and intend to one day make a career out of it, so I don't think it would be a surprise to anyone that I enjoy spending time with animals, but from the tone of your voice I think you might be hinting at some more sinister meaning."

"Nothing gets past a Ravenclaw," Severus said with his most sarcastic sneer.

"And it would seem that Slytherins assume everyone else is as up to no good as they are," MacNair replied haughtily. It served as both a witty reply and as a reminder that if Snape planned on making accusations against him, there were just as many accusations that could be made about Snape.

"Relax, MacNair, I could care less what you do in your spare time. I only brought it up to inquire about your nerve."

"My nerve?" MacNair repeated with a sneer. "And what exactly are you questioning about my nerve, Snape." Was Snape really trying to pick a fight with him? In the middle of Diagon Alley? Something was certainly up, but Snape had succeeded in at least making him curious.

"Yes, do you intend to spend the rest of your life getting your kicks by torturing meaningless animals or do you have the nerve to extend your expertise to larger prey?"

"Larger prey?" MacNair asked. He was no longer sneering. He was not an idiot, he knew of Snape's affiliations, and could not pretend like he didn't know what Snape was offering. But he was a Ravenclaw, wasn't becoming a Death Eater more of a Slytherin thing. I mean he didn't even like Snape and the rest of his Slytherin cronies. He had no particular animosity towards muggleborns and to be honest he'd never really held much store at all in the pure blood mania the Death Eaters and their master preached. But he also loved power. He loved the thrill that came from his experiments on his animals, loved the control he exerted over his victims. And Snape was right, the thrill would surely be doubly fantastic against victims who were not powerless against him, victims who could struggle in vain, only to succumb to his will in the end. He was getting goosebumps just thinking about it. And it was true that soon everyone would have to pick a side. Might he not be better off if he sided with You-Know-Who sooner rather than later? Show off his vast knowledge of torture, gain experience, and take his certainly deserved place of honor in the inner circle of arguably the most powerful man in the wizarding world. His head was a blur with visions of grandeur. So much so that he didn't even care how Snape had known that all these desires and feelings lay deep in his heart, it didn't matter. Snape had known, and now he was offering him a chance to achieve those desires. And he would not turn that offer down.

Lily Evans watched as the two boys made their way down the crowded street. Severus was up to something, she was sure of it. She had known Snape since they were 10 years old and never once had she seen him go out of his way to be nice to someone, and he certainly never just had a casual conversation with someone he just bumped into. Small talk was not his forte. But yet there he was strolling down Diagon Alley with Walden MacNair. It was an odd pairing. Raveclaws, while slightly more tolerant of Slytherins than either Gryffindors or Hufflepuffs ever managed to be, still tended to keep their distance. And Walden MacNair was not a people person. Everyone knew he tended to keep to himself and spent most of his time with various magical creatures. Lily had never given him much thought, to be honest, but she never would have imagined him having anything to say to Severus. She stored this sighting into her memory bank, certain that it had some greater significance but unsure of what that might be. Maybe once she had another piece of information the meaning would become clearer, but either way she was sure that whatever Severus was up to, no good would come of it.

Daphne Brown sat in her room, surrounded by her favorite color, observing her reflection in the mirror of her vanity. She looked like hell. Her eyes were barely visible due to the puffiness of the skin under them. She had hardly slept at all in the few days since she had returned from the Potter's a week early. She had spent most of the time in her room, unable to deal with the well meaning, but still overbearing, inquiries from both her father and her brother. She had grabbed parchment after parchment, night after night, writing letter after letter to James but never sending them. She missed him so much it physically hurt, but she knew writing to him now would only serve to push him away. She believed in his feelings for her, but she also knew, however much it killed her, that he had unresolved feelings for Lily Evans. And what terrified her was her suspicion that had been growing for the past year that Lily had feelings for James as well. Deep down she knew that if James were to ever realize that Lily returned his feelings, he would forever be devoted to Lily, and subsequently would forget everything that Daphne had ever meant to him, and she would lose him forever. The self-respecting Daphne Brown that had existed since the day she was born said she deserved better. She was a smart, funny, beautiful young woman who deserved a man who would wake up every day thankful that he was dating Daphne, not someone who would only ever see her as a consolation prize, even if it was a much adored and well loved consolation prize. These thoughts were echoed by the only two people she _had _confided in regarding her separation from James: her best friend, Mary, and her soon to be sister-in-law, Katie.

And Daphne knew that they were right, but she didn't care. She was head over heels in love with James Potter. She had been in love with him for much of her life, but had refused to admit her feelings given the fact that James was constantly admitting his feelings for Lily Evans. But yet she had held out hope over the years, after all she and James had lost their virginities together, and although James had had flings with many girls over the years, she was the only one who he ever came back too. And he had come back to her over and over again over the years. And so finally, after seeking the advice of her much admired future sister-in-law, she had decided to ask James to be her boyfriend. When she had done so, it had been with the hope that when he said no she would finally be able to move on, but he had said yes. And dating James, loving James, believing for all those wonderful months that James loved her, and experiencing the pure bliss and happiness that came from having your heart's desire had insured that she no longer cared about self respect. She didn't care if she would always be second best in James' heart, so long as she got to have him, and live her life with him at her side, because after experiencing life with him, she no longer wanted to experience life without him.

"Rise, Bellatrix," said the cold voice as his most promising young follower bent to kiss the hem of his robe. "Severus has a new friend who I'd like you to meet." Bellatrix nodded and waited for her master to explain further. "He has up till now only used his skills to hunt and play with animals, I think with some guidance from you he could learn how much more fun it is to play with muggleborns."

"Yes, my lord." Bellarix sighed excitedly.

"Don't push him into anything before he is ready Bellatrix. If my other sources are correct this boy, MacNair, is being highly recruited for his gifts with magical creatures by the Department for the Control and Regulation of Magical Creatures. He could be useful to us by forging our connections with sympathetic members of the Goblin Community and of course the Giants."

"I will let him develop his skills at his own pace, master." Bellatrix assured her master.

"Good, contact Severus with a time and place for him to bring our newest friend. "

"So you don't have any idea what he's up to," Alice asked. She and Lily were currently splitting an order of chips at the Leaky Cauldron.

"None," Lily answered sounding discouraged.

"Who all have you seen him with?"

"MacNair the most, and other times it's weird he's not with someone but certain people every time I see them I notice him trailing behind them, or watching them it's really bizarre."

"Well, Snape never was one to shy away from the bizarre. I mean he was friends with you after all," Alice said attempting to cheer her worried best friend up.

"Shut up!" Lily said with a laugh. "I just hate knowing he's up to something and not have any idea what it is or how to stop him."

"Do you think it's for his own reasons or that he's acting on orders from You-Know-Who?"

"If I had to guess, I'd say it's for You-Know-Who, but either way I don't think any good is going to come from it."

"I'm beginning to think no good can come from anything. The disappearances are getting more frequent, there's tons of stuff that the Prophet, as usual, is attempting to keep quiet, and things like this with Snape that just mean there's even less people you can trust."

"You never trusted Snape to begin with," Lily said.

"I don't mean him. I mean all these people he's talking to or following. He and his boss clearly want something with them, and well not a lot of people are telling You-Know-Who 'no' these days."

"I agree but we can't just go around suspecting people because Severus talked to them. If that meant you were evil, I'd have been shipped to Azkaban a long time ago."

"Well I've been trying to get them to cart you off, but you know they are so busy these days. They won't just take anyone. They're becoming very exclusive about who they let in," Alice said with a rogue grin.

It was funny because they both knew it was true. The Ministry of Magic seemed torn between appeasing Voldemort and attempting to apprehend him. Unfortunately, there were still many in the ministry, particularly from old pure blood families, that while not approving of his methods, still thought Voldemort had the right type of ideas. These officials seemed unwilling to arrest those people suspected of being Death Eaters, like Bellatrix Lestrange and Lucius Malfoy, in part because they were aware of whoever targeted Voldemort's followers would become a target of Voldemort himself, and also because they did not wish to target the children of such esteemed families.

"And that's just it though," Lily said after a moment. "You would think that Severus would be working in a more behind the scenes way. He can't afford, if he is working on You-Know-Who's orders, to be denounced by some of these people he's approaching! He doesn't have the benefit of a last name to protect him."

"No, you're right about that." Alice agreed. "But I doubt MacNair poses much of a threat. He doesn't really strike me as a people person."

"Yes, but there's more. I've noticed, well to be honest I'm not sure what I've noticed. It seems like it could just be coincidence but it's as if Snape is trailing people as well. I've never seen him talk to the person, but whenever I happen to see this person with his family in the alley, Snape is never far behind."

"Who is it?"

"Barty Crouch Jr."

"The son of the Head of Magical Law Enforcement," Alice said in a hushed but astonished whisper.

"One and the same," Lily said with a nod.

"Well that is odd. If Snape approaches him, all Barty would have to do is tell his father and Snape would be sent to Azkaban."

"Exactly! What do you know about Barty Crouch?" Lily asked. Alice had grown up in the wizarding world and as a member of one of the few remaining pure blood families was Lily's go to source for all the inside information that no one really talked about. It didn't hurt that Alice's mother was an incurable gossip who seemingly knew everything about everyone.

"Not much to be honest. I'm sure we're distantly related," Alice said with a sarcastic grin. When Lily laughed, Alice continued on, "It's true! I swear we're all just a bunch of inbreeding wizards and witches! I checked all the family trees to make sure Frank wasn't closely related. Thankfully, it seems the Fortescue's and the Longbottom's have not intertwined, or at least not in the last seven generations."

"You are absolutely whacky, do you know that?" Lily said while smiling at her best friend's ability to think of everything.

"It happens! Did you know that Sirius was a double Black?"

"A double Black? What does that mean?"

"His mother, Walburga, was a Black before she ever married his father, who happened to be her first cousin."

"WOW. So I guess Sirius comes by a streak of insanity honestly?" Lily said arching her eyebrows suggestively, causing Alice to burst out in laughter. "But seriously, you don't have any dirt on Barty Crouch?"

"His father intends to be Minister, but everyone knows that. It's made him damned and determined to catch Death Eaters, the only trouble is, as we previously discussed all the real ones are too closely protected by their families, so he just locks up people without any real proof just to look like he's doing something. And Crouch, while no Death Eater, is certainly as arrogant a man as any and puts a little too much store in someone's last name for my taste, but otherwise I can't see him stepping a toe out of line for fear of it jeopardizing his career. As for junior, well I have a feeling that he can't step a toe out of line either for fear of his father's wrath. I don't doubt that Mr. Crouch can be down right brutal when it suites him. I do know that Barty Jr. got an 'O' on every single one of his O.."

"Bet that made daddy proud," Lily said wryly. "I wonder if it was enough to also pique the interest of You-Know-Who?"

"You think Snape is recruiting for him?" Alice asked.

"I don't know," Lily said uncertainly. "I mean, I could understand Crouch, because he's obviously incredibly bright…"

"Not to mention all the information he can supply on his daddy," Alice said shrewdly.

"Exactly," Lily agreed. "But what does he want with MacNair? I mean he doesn't really have people skills, the only subject he's ever show any real interest in was Care of Magical Creatures, and he doesn't really have any connections."

"Maybe they aren't related. I mean I admit it's unlikely but what if Snape is watching the Crouch family for You-Know-Who and Snape has something else in mind for MacNair?"

"But what?"

"I don't have the slightest idea. Tending to his pets while he's out doing his Death Eater business?" Alice added after a moment, flashing Lily a wicked grin.

Both girls subsided into laughter and spoke no more about the possible goings on of one of Voldemort's Death Eaters. Upon finishing their lunch the two girls made their way through Diagon Alley, stopping in stores to pick up the various items they needed before leaving for Hogwarts the following morning. After completing their shopping the girls ended the afternoon at Alice's Uncle Florean's ice cream parlor, where he treated them each to a free scoop, after which the two girls apparated back to Lily's flat for an end of summer sleep over.

A/N: I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season full of family and friends! I know that you all were hoping for the big reveal of the Head Boy in this chapter but it just didn't fit right because of the need to set up Snape's big arc for his seventh year both through his eyes and Lily's. But I PROMISE that the next chapter is all about the Head Boy and Head Girl on the Hogwarts Express! xoxo


	39. Chapter 39

A/N: I know this chapter has taken an absurdly long time, but I think once you read it you will understand. This chapter took a lot of work. First of all, it was incredibly difficult to write, because this chapter intimidated me. This is such a big moment and I wanted to get it right. And as you will see reading this chapter, it's one of those chapters where I had to introduce a lot of people because they are so important to the major arc of Lily and James' seventh year. Hint this arc is majorly hinted at in the last paragraph of this chapter! The characters that are introduced in this chapter also took quite a lot of research and planning because I never just invent a character out of thin air. It's been my goal to make this story seem as though it could really be a part of Harry Potter Cannon, and so each character I've created, with the I think lone exception of Leena Sharejoy, comes from a family already existing in the Wizarding World. Some are even real J.K Rowling characters, like Greta Catchlove, the girl Remus tells Lily that Peter has a crush on in a previous chapter. She was a witch of the month on JK Rowling's website! So anyway I apologize for the wait, but I think/hope you will find the wait worthwhile. Hope you enjoy this super sized update! The next chapter will be up soon!

Sirius groaned as his best friend entered his bedroom, slamming the door shut for emphasis. James had apparently decided that his tactic of the last 10 minutes of just banging loudly on the door had not been working, and had decided to take a more direct approach. He groggily reached out from under his covers for his wand, fully intent on cursing his best friend, only to discover that James was a step ahead of him and had already apprehended his wand.

"Prongs, do you really think I need my wand to kick your ass?" Sirius said.

"If I have my wand? Yeah I'd say you'd need yours or I'd just stun your ass anytime you got close."

"Well you are the expert at having your ass stunned," Sirius said waspishly.

"HA HA," James said in a humorless laugh. "You're so witty, Padfoot."

"That is why your mother loves me better," Sirius said.

"Well she's going to like me even less when I kill you in a minute for making me late," James said aiming a kick at Sirius.

"What time is it, Prongs?" Sirius asked with the voice of someone talking to a small child.

"7:30." James said as if that made his badgering even more justified.

"And we're having breakfast with your parents at 8:30 just like always?"

"Yes, mum refused to move it up to 8."

"Of course she did, she isn't insane like her son."

"Even so, that's in exactly an hour!"

"And how bloody long do you think it takes me to get ready?"

"Would you just get your lazy ass up?" James said, frustrated.

"Prongs, the Hogwarts Express leaves at 11, not at 9. All of our things are already packed, as you insisted upon last night. After we eat we have nothing left to do but apparate to the station. It isn't going to take us two and half hours to eat breakfast."

"I can't get there with just a few minutes to spare, Padfoot. I'm the bloody Head Boy!"

"At this point you're lucky you're not physically bloody," Sirius muttered, before continuing aloud, "And even so you only have to be there by 10:30."

"Not if I want to beat Evans there. She always get's there early and probably doubly so now that she has a reason too. I don't want to take a chance of anyone else telling her that I'm Head Boy. I want to see the look on her face when she sees me."

"Prongs, no offense mate, but we could have every single student of Hogwarts lined up chanting it at her as she walks through the station and she still wouldn't believe it."

"Maybe so, but I won't know for sure unless you get your ass in gear."

"Fine, but only because I wouldn't want Evans to miss the chance to hex you if she thinks you've stolen that badge," Sirius said with a laugh, finally pulling himself out of bed.

"Hell," Lily exclaimed as she rolled over in bed.

"What?" Alice said sleepily.

"It's 9:30," Lily said, sitting up in bed.

"Shit." Alice exclaimed sitting up as well. "Okay, so Frank was right, we were idiots to have a sleep over the night before heading back. Damn it, I absolutely hate it when he's right."

"Skip breakfast?" Lily said as she grabbed her wand, using magic to style her hair, grateful she had at least had a shower last night.

"I'd say so," Alice said as she grabbed her own wand and began to do the same. "Are you dressing in your uniform so that you don't have to change before you meet with the Prefects?"

"I suppose I'll have to, seems kind of silly to get there and change right away. Besides it would be rather rude of me to leave to go change and leave the Head Boy to set everything up."

"Yeah, especially if it's Boot, he's pompous enough as is."

"Don't be mean. I have to get along with him all year."

"Doesn't change the fact that he's pompous," Alice said with a shrug.

"Well I'm going to try and look past that and at least establish a good working relationship with him."

"And that is why you are Head Girl and I am not."

James and Sirius arrived at King's Cross Station at exactly ten minutes till ten, much to James' delight and Sirius' supreme annoyance. And so after muttering a few choice words to his best friend, Sirius stalked off to find a compartment for he and the other Marauders, although whether or not he would permit James to join them after his meeting was over remained to be seen, and take nap until Peter arrived at a more respectable time.

James made his way to the front of the train where the Prefect's car was located. It was the same size as the other train cars of the Hogwart's Express, but instead of being divided up into compartments it was one large, open space with several benches and tables set up for working. He was relieved to see that no one had yet to enter the compartment, and so therefore he had succeeded in arriving before Lily.

He looked around for a moment and then sat down. A moment later he jumped up and paced the length of the car. He was incredibly nervous for this first meeting. He knew with absolute certainty that the seventh year male Prefects, with the exception of Remus who had been incredibly gracious when James told him about being made Head Boy, would feel slighted that they had been passed over, in favor of a perpetual rule breaker. He suspected some would even consider whether or not his parents' friendship with Dumbledore had been a factor in the decision, or even, his face reddened at the idea, if money had changed hands. He also knew that they were all exceedingly more prepared than he was for this beginning of term meeting. After all, they had at least had the benefit of attending the meeting for the past two years. He pulled out a piece of scrap paper from his pocket and forced himself to reread the list of topics Remus had told him were discussed during the meeting. He did not know what he would have done had it not been for Remus' help in getting somewhat prepared for what lay ahead of him, but even with that little bit of preparation, he still felt completely out of step.

He sat himself down in a seat by the window and attempted to focus on his breathing. He was James Potter, Dumbledore had chosen him for this, and he knew Dumbledore would not have done so if he had any doubts about James' ability. He would make Dumbledore proud. He had too.

And then he saw her. Running at full speed, or as fast as someone can run when they are pushing a cart full of luggage, Alice right behind her, both girls looking extremely stressed out. It would seem that they had been together, perhaps a sleepover, which had delayed them. He smiled slightly to himself, knowing how much Lily hated being knocked off her schedule, and wondering what hell Alice had had to put up with this morning during Lily's panic attacks. And then his smile slid off his face, if she was already in a bad mood, he knew that mood would only worsen drastically upon finding out he was the Head Boy. He checked his appearance once in the mirror, ruffling his hair a couple extra times for luck, adjusted his badge on his robes so that it was perfectly straight, took a deep breath, and waited for her to enter the car.

Lily Evans approached the door to the car, anxiety reaching a fever pitch. As she had emerged on to Platform 9 ¾ she had seen, or rather Alice had seen and relayed the information rapidly to Lily, Boot. He was wearing a badge, but not a Head Boy Badge. It was the same Prefect Badge he had worn for the previous two years. This left only two possibilities, and one of them was so completely unheard of that it hardly warranted even being considered as a possibility. Possibility number one was that Snape, the only male Prefect who had not yet been accounted for, was the new Head Boy. Lily could not imagine why Dumbledore would choose Snape, as she knew for a fact that Dumbledore was aware that Snape was a likely Death Eater. But the other possibility had never been done before, and she couldn't imagine that it was likely to happen now. There was no rule that said the Head Boy or Head Girl had to have been a Prefect previously, but never once in Hogwarts' history had a Head Boy or Girl been selected who had not been a Prefect. And so it seemed she was more than likely going to have to face the reality of sharing living quarters with Severus, of sharing Head duties with Severus, and attempting to keep Severus from gaining any more influence than he already had over the naïve and impressionable younger students of Hogwarts.

She stood at the door, feeling like she was about to cross the threshold into a dark and upsetting world. She took a deep breath and she opened the door.

She opened the door, took in the sight of James Potter standing with the Head Boy Badge gleaming on his chest, and she burst out laughing. She was saved! Remus was the Head Boy and had just kept it a secret for their prank! After the fear of having Severus as Head Boy, the prank by the marauders even seemed mildly funny.

James watched Lily concernedly. He had been prepared for many possible reactions: yelling, cursing, swearing, actual magical cursing, even possibly crying, but he had not been prepared for laughter.

"Er, alright there Evans?" It took her a moment to collect herself before she could answer.

"I have to give you credit, it's an absolutely brilliant idea. Taking the badge from Remus, pretending to be Head Boy, it's absolutely hilarious. Of course, Sirius, would have been even funnier, but I suppose you have to be a tad bit realistic, and that's well beyond what any person would ever believe." He understood now, she thought Remus was the Head Boy. She thought it was all a prank. The idea of him as Head Boy seemed so ludicrous to her that the only possible explanation was a prank. It stung slightly, but Sirius had prepared him for this eventuality. And so he withdrew his letter from the pocket of his robe and handed it to her. He watched as her eyes scanned the page, becoming wider and wider as she read. He thought, for a brief moment, that he might need to summon a chair to catch her, but she backed herself up and settled onto one of the bench seats. She still said nothing.

"Take all the time you need." James said after a moment, still waiting for her to respond.

"It's impossible." Lily said.

"It's highly improbable, not impossible." James corrected cheekily. It earned him a withering glare but he was a little relieved to see that it put some color back into her face.

"Dumbledore must have gone completely mental," she said almost to herself. "It's absolutely insane." She looked up at James and then back at the letter, shaking her head to herself as if trying to find some way to make sense of this. And then again, seemingly to herself , she muttered, "Well, it's better than Snape."

James snorted. "Gee, thanks Evans. I think that's the best complement I've ever received." Although part of him knew there was a time not long ago when she had much preferred Snape's company to his own.

"Idiot," Lily said with a roll of her eyes. "Do you have absolutely any idea what it is you're supposed to do?"

"Remus told me a little," James said with a shrug, feigning a nonchalance he did not feel. She seemed to consider for a moment, seeing past his bluster as she almost always had, and then motioned for him to sit beside her and launched into a crash course regarding everything they needed to cover in the meeting today. Sitting there, listening to her explain everything, completely in her element, he had never loved her more. She felt his eyes on her and met his gaze for a moment before turning away. And for a moment they were both painfully aware that this was the first time in nearly a half a year that they had spoken. The reason for this prolonged avoidance of each other came screaming back to both of them, as if it were ever very far from their minds, and each had to struggle for a moment not to get up and move apart. They would have to work together, which meant eventually they would have to be able to trust each other again. And it would not be easy, but they would have to try.

"Boyfriends aren't allowed in this compartment. This isn't the Head Girls private snogging place," said a disdainful voice, full of equal parts pain and sheer loathing. James, whose back was to the entrance of the car, did not need to turn and see who it was, but did so nevertheless, not liking to have his back to a known enemy. Lily merely glared at her former best friend. The sneer melted off of Severus' face as he took in the Head Boy Badge glistening on Potter's chest. The idea was intolerable. The Head Boy and Head Girl were together almost constantly, whatever differences had sprung up between his Lily and that blasted Potter last year would eventually be worked out, if they were forced together on so regular a basis. He could not bear the thought of what could possibly happen between the two of them. But he also would not allow Potter to see how much this development hurt him. And so after a moment he spoke with as much hate and loathing as he could place in each syllable.

"I guess even Dumbledore has a price." James' hand flickered to his wand. He had to give Snape credit. He knew how to get to James. James had been determined to rise above whatever Snape threw at him, but attacking Dumbledore's honor was something James could not stand for. However, before he could do anything, Lily spoke up.

"Funny, seeing as all the money in the world couldn't make your pal, Lucius Malfoy Head Boy in his time. And all your _connections_," she said placing a special emphasis on the word, "couldn't make you Head Boy now."

"You can't honestly tell me you think he's qualified," Severus challenged. James held his breath, he knew the answer: no. Lily, however, seemed to consider for a moment, before answering. Snape's leer grew larger as she contemplated, but was removed completely once she had spoken.

"I think that Dumbledore made an informed and well reasoned choice," she said ignoring Snape's derisive laugh. "James Potter is a leader, not a follower. He knows what's right, and he knows what he believes in, and he does not ever compromise his values, no matter what the cost. So, in short, I think he's a hell of a lot more qualified to wear his badge, then you are to wear yours."

"Personally, I think I'm more qualified than all three of you," Remus said with a grin from where he stood in the doorway. James and Lily both looked relieved; Snape, if possible, merely looked more annoyed. He knew now he could no longer hope to talk to Lily alone, and so he skulked off to the far corner of the train car to await the arrival of his fellow Slytherins.

"Moony!" James said with a smile, greeting his best friend with a hug. "Although, I must protest that Lily is clearly the most qualified to be Head Girl, of anyone in this car. I think you've got just a tad bit too much pen.."

"Remus," Lily said cutting across James. She gave her fellow Gryffindor Prefect a quick hug, before swatting him, with more force than he would have expected, on the arm.

"Ow," Remus exclaimed, rubbing the place where Lily had just hit him. "What the bloody hell was that for?"

"_That_ was for lying when you said you didn't know who the Head Boy was," Lily said narrowing her eyes.

"Oh, _that_. I felt it would be best to let you be surprised given the circumstances," Remus said with a sheepish grin.

"He wanted you to get the full effect of the good news," James offered.

"And did it work?" Remus asked, addressing his best friend. "How did she respond?"

"Started laughing, thought it was a prank."

"You know, I'm beginning to be a little disappointed in our own creativity that we never considered doing something like that when I became Prefect. It seems like everyone we tell assumes it's a prank."

"I know," James said with a laugh. "I almost wish you were Head Boy just so we could take credit for the prank."

"I wish he was the Head Boy too," Lily said in a deadpan voice. Both boys grinned at her before dissolving into laughter. That was the response they had been expecting. Lily's sarcasm, especially when James was involved, was legendary.

Aidan MacMillan and Dorcas Meadowes, the seventh year Hufflepuff Prefects, entered the car a few moments later. While both were clearly surprised by James Potter being the Head Boy, both were on friendly enough terms with the Gryffindors that they were sincere in their congratulations. Even Aidan, who had most certainly had his reasons to dislike James Potter, recognized his ability to be a good leader. As things had worsened over the past year, past disagreements no longer seemed to matter as much as which side you were on. And whatever else one might say about him, Aidan had no doubt as to where James Potter's loyalty lies.

Dorcas greeted each of the Gryffindors with a cheerful smile, and even gave Lily a quick hug, asking each one in turn how their summers had been. Aidan shook hands with both Remus and James, before giving Lily a peck on the cheek.

Remus noted silently to himself that this peck on the cheek had perhaps made Aidan the most unpopular man in the room, as he was now receiving covert glares from James, and not so covert glares from Severus Snape. Remus thought it quite possible that this might be the only thing James and Snape would ever be in agreement on. Neither of them liked how close Aidan and Lily had become. Remus could not tell whether Aidan was aware of how much this small act had effected the tension in the room, for he continued to smile and laugh as he, Dorcas, Remus, James, and Lily shared stories of their summers.

"No fucking way," said a voice from the entrance to the train car. Dirk Cresswell, sixth year Gryffindor Prefect and Beater on the Quidditch team, had exclaimed in delight upon seeing that his friend, and Quidditch Captain, had been made Head Boy. He clapped James on the back, exclaiming again his shock and delight at the news, before also congratulating Lily, and greeting Remus, and the two Hufflepuffs. He, like both Aidan and Dorcas, gave no sign that he was even aware of Snape's presence in the room. A moment later his fellow sixth year Gryffindor Prefect, Harper Robins, had also joined the group and offered her congratulations to both James and Lily; it had been years since both Heads had come from the same house, and it seemed that it did not matter to any of the Gryffindors that James Potter had not been a Prefect, it did not matter that he was a notorious rule breaker, he was a Gryffindor, and along with Lily Evans, he made up an all Gryffindor Headship, they were all overjoyed.

The joyous atmosphere only increased as the two newest Gryffindor Prefects entered the car together, clearly a little intimidated by the many upperclassmen. Until, after a moment, realization dawned on them and they realized that most the people in the room at the moment were fellow Gryffindors and no one to be worried about. Regal Shacklebolt let out a shriek of both joy and surprise, upon seeing the Badge pinned on James Potter's robes, and ran to hug both him and Dirk, her fellow teammates. Her partner, who seemed a little less sure of himself amongst the older students, was a small statured boy named Jackson Peakes, and looked relieved when Harper Robins motioned for him to join in her conversation with Dorcas.

The cheerful, loud, chaos of the seven Gryffindors and their two Hufflepuff friends grew silent as the Slytherin delegation made their way in to the car. Each one sneering or glaring contemptuously at the Gryffindors, and at the Hufflepuffs, who were almost as bad, before making their way over to sit by Snape on the far side of the compartment.

They were a virtual who's who of the entitled children of Pureblood families. James wondered if there was a one of them who wasn't at the very least sympathetic to the Death Eaters and Voldemort. The other seventh year Slytherin Prefect, Alodia Greengrass, sat next to Snape. James knew that she was the third cousin of Sirius' date to his parents' New Years Eve bash, Marnie Greengrass. Alodia was every bit as pretty as her cousin, with long dark hair, and big strikingly blue eyes. But her eyes held none of the warmth and compassion that her Ravenclaw cousin was known for. Her eyes were full of spite and contempt. As she took her seat next to Snape, she addressed her fellow Slytherins.

"It seems they'll let just about anyone pretend to be important around here. I'm not sure which is worse the mudblood or the blood traitor." The other Slytherins all laughed and jeered, whilst the Gryffindors and Aidan and Dorcas all either glared darkly at the Slytherins, muttered insults of their own to each other, or in the case of some of the younger students drew their wands, before one of the older students made them put it away. There would be hell to pay at Hogwarts if the Prefects had gotten into a duel before the Hogwarts' Express even left London.

Sitting next to Alodia was a sixth year boy that James recognized as a boy who was almost always with Sirius' brother, Regulus. He leaned over and clarified this with Remus, who informed him that the boy's name was Evan Rosier, and he was, in Remus' opinion, almost certainly either a Death Eater or a Death Eater wannabe. Next to him sat a stunningly beautiful witch who James knew was named Kennice Selwyn. She was a sixth year, but was James knew, already engaged to be married. He noted she seemed to take particular joy in extending her hand in one direction and then another so as to afford those around her numerous glances at the huge diamond engagement ring on her finger.

Lily followed James' eyes, to where Kennice sat, and she thought she could tell what James was thinking. Leaning over slightly, in order to whisper in his ear and not be overheard by the numerous people still standing in their general area, she said, "The ring's all she has to show off. At least, I wouldn't be bragging if I was getting married to Bayard Zabini. I mean he's easily 20 years older than her."

"I'm more worried for Bayard," James whispered back conspiratorially. "There's something off about that girl. I wouldn't be surprised if she murders him in his sleep." Neither of them knew how close to the mark they were.

Sitting next to Kennice, gazing at her in awe, was the fifth year Slytherin, Everett Warrington. His family, while not technically Death Eaters, had funneled tons of money to Voldemort and his followers over the years. Sitting, on the other side of Snape, was the other fifth year Slytherin Prefect, Gentry Baddock. Lily thought Gentry looked like someone who might very well get on with her sister Petunia, were it not for their disdain for the other's societies. Both wore the same pinched look on their face, as if fearful of not always maintaining appearances and of running afoul of dirt.

The two distinct groups continued to regard each other with much disdain, and only became once again involved with their own group once some of the Ravenclaws began to filter in and fill the area of the car between the two groups. The Ravenclaws were not fans of the Death Eaters, or of most of the Slytherins either, but could tolerate them more than either the Gryffindors or Hufflepuffs could. James noticed Lily stiffen as some of the Ravenclaws began to make their way in to the room. She seemed suddenly tense, as if waiting for someone or for something to happen.

The first of the Ravenclaws to enter the car was Terris Boot, the 7th year Prefect that Lily had assumed would be Head Boy. He seemed surprised upon seeing James Potter, but did not voice either anger at Dumbledore's choice nor approval. He did not congratulate either of the new Heads' merely nodded in their direction, before making his way, along with his girlfriend and fellow 7th year Prefect, Marlowe Fawcett, to a seat by the window. Lily couldn't help but feel relieved that _he _was not Head Boy. Alice was right, he _was _pompous.

Following Boot several of the Hufflepuff Prefects entered the car as a group and made their way over to where Aidan and Dorcas were still standing with the group of Gryffindors. Barclay Smith, one of the two sixth year Prefects, shook hands with each of the Gryffindor Prefects, as well as James and Lily, in greeting. He was a sweet boy, Lily knew, but he put a little too much stock in ceremony and formality. His partner, Eavan Madley, greeted everyone cheerfully. Lily noticed that her eyes lit up when watching Aidan and she seemed slightly nervous to see that Aidan was still standing so close to Lily. Lily took a small step away from Aidan, making it look as though she was stepping closer to James and Remus in order to ask Remus a question, which she did, but she was glad to see that Eavan relaxed visibly. Sticking close to both Barclay and Eavan, were the two newest Hufflepuff Prefects, Addison Abbot, a boy Lily knew from Charms tutoring, and Quinn Cadwallader, a girl James knew was the seeker on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team.

James saw Lily stiffen visibly as the sixth year Ravenclaw Prefect, Barty Crouch Jr. made his way into the car. James thought this was odd, as far as he knew, other than being Prefects together last year, contact between Lily and Crouch was negligible. She watched as he took his seat next to Boot, and then James saw her eyes flicker to Snape, whose eyes were also watching Crouch. Something was certainly going on, and James made a note to ask Lily about it later.

Joining Crouch a few moments later was Daisy Hookum his fellow sixth year Prefect. The final two Ravenclaw Prefects, John Dawlish and Adair Ogden, stepped into the car with just moments to spare, as just seconds later the Hogwarts Express jerked into motion, starting on its way back to Hogwarts.

As the train started on its way, the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor Prefects took their seats, intermixed with each other, and every eye fell upon the Head Boy and Head Girl. James was relieved that Lily took the lead.

"Welcome back," Lily said addressing the room at large. "On behalf of James and myself I want to congratulate each of our newest Prefects on their appointment. We have a lot to cover and I'm sure none of you want to spend your entire trip back to Hogwarts listening to me and James rambling on." There was a slight smattering of chuckles at this from everyone except the Slytherins. "Dumbledore has a message for us, and I think that's a good place to start. James," Lily said turning to where James stood next to her holding the letter from Dumbledore.

"Thanks, Lily." James said before turning to the room at large and beginning to read the letter from Dumbledore. "Prefects, welcome back to another year at Hogwarts! With your help, I hope we can make the 1976-1977 school year the best one yet." James paused to level a glare at the Slytherins, who were jeering the words of Dumbledore quietly amongst themselves. He had memorized the next bit of Dumbledore's letter; he had read it so often, and so repeatedly. He continued to stare directly at the Slytherins as he recited Dumbledore's words. "As you are all aware, dark and dangerous forces are growing stronger in the Wizarding World. It is important that in these times of turmoil we all join together to repel the forces that threaten to overtake our way of life. It is my hope that I have allies in all of you. The wizard styling himself as Lord Voldemort," there was a collective intake of breath, as James said the name, "is just a man. There is nothing special about him. He can be defeated, just as those he currently attempts to defeat himself. He is nothing more than a deeply unhappy man, who has no concept of love. He is nothing more than an angry boy named Tom Riddle." The Slytherins were growing angrier with the tone of the letter as the James continued. Some, like Snape, were clearly not even listening any longer. Others, like Alodia Greengrass and Evan Rosier, were muttering angry abuses at not only Dumbledore, but James and Lily as well. "I extend this same offer of partnership to each of you, but do not imagine that I am not aware that some of you have chosen a very different path. If you choose to continue down that path then consider yourselves warned, I will actively oppose you, and bring every force at my disposal down upon you."

"Well, that went as well as I think could be expected," Lily said as she and James stood together in the now empty Prefects' Car.

"I thought the Slytherins were going to descend into outright revolt during Dumbledore's letter."

"I had my hand on my wand, just to be on the safe side," Lily said, only half-joking.

"I think about half the Gryffindors did," James said with a smile.

"The Slytherins certainly seem to be itching for a fight," Lily said, her tone turning serious.

"I think half the world is," James answered. "And the other half is hoping for something, anything that will avert the disaster that seems imminent."

"I think there's some on both sides that itching for that fight to come," Lily said with a knowing look at James. She wasn't accusing him, as Daphne had done some months previously, she was just stating what she knew was true about him. Somehow that made a difference.

"I guess I should deny it, a lot of people certainly want me too, but I won't. They've caused too much pain and destruction, I want it to end, but if it were to end without coming to a head, I don't really think it will be over. It would just be an intermission, until something or someone else started the whole mess again."

"I'm not sure that even if it comes to a head it will ever really be over," Lily said after a moment. "There will always be intolerance, ignorance, and cruelty. And there will always be people willing to kill other people who they don't like, or who don't agree with them. I think all we can do is do our best, be good people, fight for what and who we believe in, and just try and keep the evil at bay."

James was just about to respond, when the door to the car swung open, causing both he and Lily to jump in surprise and turn to face the newcomer.

"I hope I'm not interrupting any official Head Business," Daphne said as she stepped into the compartment. "I just wanted to tell you congratulations, Lily. You've worked really hard for this, and I can't think of anyone who would make a better Head Girl."

"Thanks, Daphne," Lily said. "That's really nice of you. Did you have a good summer?"

"It was good," Daphne said, not willing to go in to any details about what had occurred between her and James. "Well, I don't want to keep you all from your duties, I just wanted to make sure I got a chance to talk to you Lily. It won't be the same not having you in the room with us."

"Oh, I'm sure I'll stop by all the time to see you, Alice, and Mary."

"You better," Daphne said with a smile. "I'll see you in a little bit, James," she added before exiting the car.

"We're really done with Head duties until we meet with McGonagall after the Feast tonight," Lily said turning to James. "I'm just going to find Frank and Alice, so don't feel like you have to keep Daphne waiting or anything. I'm sure she'd like some alone time with her boyfriend before we get to school." Lily added in her head that she hoped the couple wouldn't make a habit of using their shared common room as a place to get that alone time. Hearing about it from Daphne had been painful enough, being forced to be a frequent witness would be unbearable.

"Oh, we're not…" James seemed unsure of exactly what to say. "That is to say we're not together anymore."

"Oh," Lily said, completely shocked. "I'm sorry to hear that." Well maybe not sorry, she thought to herself, but there was no need to go into details.

"It's fine, it was a mutual decision." James said.

"Really," Lily questioned disbelievingly. James arched his eyebrows in response to her question, and she realized as soon as the exclamation had left her mouth that it was incredibly rude, but she couldn't help it. There was just absolutely no possible way in which Daphne would voluntarily agree to break up with James. It made no sense. "Sorry," Lily said to James, blushing deep red, "I didn't mean anything by that. It just seems like breakups are hardly ever mutual anymore." She said, aware she was only digging herself in deeper. "So that's great. Good for the two of you."

"Thanks, I think," James said bemusedly. And before things could get any more awkward they each set off to the compartment where their respective best friends were waiting.

Voldemort stood contemplating many things in the deserted room. He heard Nagini slither across the floorboards as she returned from her hunting trip. It was the first day of September. The Hogwarts' Express had left several hours previously on its way back to Hogwarts. The children aboard were no doubt laughing, catching up with their friends, acting as though they had not a care in the world; but soon they would have many cares and fears, he would see to that. This year at Hogwarts would be unlike any the school had ever known. He would ensure, through the work of his faithful Death Eaters who were now, like their classmates, eagerly waiting the new term, that this year would bring more terror and heartbreak to the school than any since he had first unleashed the Basilisk on the school so many years ago. Everything was unfolding exactly as he had planned, and soon, once he had arranged everything as he saw fit, blood would run through the streets of Hogsmede.


	40. Chapter 40

Alice was nettling Lily for information as the two stepped up into one of the horseless carriages that ferried students from the Hogwarts' Express to the school. Frank merely shook his head in amazement, and at least a little bit annoyance, at his girlfriend's insistence, as he climbed up into the carriage after the two girls. He wouldn't have been surprised if Lily was secretly hoping someone, anyone, would join them just to avoid Alice's questions until she could escape to her private dormitory, although Frank knew Alice would find some way of getting her questions answered, even if it involved breaking into the Head Girl's bedroom. Lily was not surprised, she had known from the instant she had entered the compartment that she would have to deal with Alice's interrogation.

FLASHBACK!

"How'd the meeting go?" Alice asked as Lily stepped into the compartment. "Was Boot a complete idiot?"

"Boot isn't the Head Boy," Lily said in response as she plopped, exhausted, into a seat across from Alice and Frank.

"If it isn't Boot who is it?" Frank asked looking up from the Daily Prophet and the crossword puzzle he was attempting to solve.

"James Potter," Lily replied.

"No fucking way," Alice said with first shock and then ill-concealed glee.

"And you're sure it's not a prank?" Frank asked after a moment.

"Positive, he showed me the letter from Dumbledore."

"Unbelievable," Frank said in a whisper, but he too was smiling. Frank liked the marauders, and James was a close friend. He was happy for his house and happy for his friend, even if he was more than a little surprised.

"I bet Daphne's furious," Alice said, with still more glee. "I mean she can't be happy her boyfriend is going to be living with…"

"They've broken up, actually," Lily cut across Alice before Alice could go into detail on exactly how she viewed James and Lily's relationship, or lack thereof.

"WHAT? You waited until NOW to tell me! Hell, Lil, you've been back in this compartment for well over a minute!" She glared at Lily for a moment, before her fiendish glee got the better of her and her famous grin broke through her stare and she exclaimed, "Well, finally!"

"Alice!" Frank interjected.

"Oh, hush. I'm not going to go rub it in Daphne's face or anything. I have some compassion, but that doesn't mean I can't celebrate that my best friend is about to embark on what could be the biggest, most profound relationship of her life."

"Not to kill your buzz, Alice, but I'm not about to embark on anything with Potter. He's Head Boy, so obviously I'm going to have to find a way to work with him, but other than that, as far as I'm concerned, nothing has changed. He may not be with Daphne anymore, but he still did what he did, and I could never trust someone like that." Alice did deflate, but only slightly.

"I still have a hard time believing that he did that," Alice said, moving over to sit next to her best friend. "I know you said he admitted it and everything, but he never actually said the word "bet". Maybe it was all just some big misunderstanding."

"Alice, I know you're trying to help me. And I know that you want that to be true because then maybe something could happen between me and James that could erase these past few months of heartache, but I just think it's not going to happen. I wish things were different, I wish he hadn't done what he did, but he did. And there's nothing I can do to change that, so I just have to move on."

"But will you be able to?" Alice asked earnestly. "I mean think about it, Lil, you haven't been able to get over him after months of not speaking, and now you're going to be spending hours on end working side by side, living together," Alice said. She wasn't trying to upset Lily, and Lily knew that Alice's only concern was for the wellbeing of her best friend. She just wanted her best friend to be prepared for the challenge she was about to face, and to be honest about her feelings.

"I don't know. To be honest, I don't even know how I feel about Potter being made Head Boy. It's all just so unexpected, so sudden, I really haven't even had a chance to process it all yet, or how I feel about any of it."

"We have a whole train ride, process away," Alice said before moving back to her original seat next to Frank, and resuming her perusing of _Bewitching Bystander_, a popular, yet often times unreliable, gossip magazine.

END OF FLASHBACK

Apparently, Alice's cone of silence to allow Lily to think had its limits, as she now set about attempting to gauge Lily's thoughts and feelings. It was only after Lily promised to give Alice a play by play of the night's events and her duties with Potter, and her more reasoned view of the situation after judging his actions and her emotions that Alice agreed to changing the subject.

Even without Alice interrogating her Lily could not stop her brain from interrogating itself. She noted with equal parts humor and annoyance though that the voice in her head did closely resemble that of her best friend. She had been completely honest with Alice. She had no idea where her head was at about everything. Her first reaction, even upon learning that it was not a prank and that James Potter was in fact Head Boy, had been one of tremendous relief. When she had thought that Severus could be the Head Boy she had been panicked. Potter, for all his many faults, was not a Death Eater, and that made him infinitely better than Severus. And as strange as it sounded, even though Alice had assured her it was not strange at all when Lily had confided this one arrant thought to her as they disembarked from the carriages, she knew that even though she could not trust James Potter with her heart, she could trust him with her life. She knew things were dangerous, even inside the walls of her beloved school. As Head Girl and Head Boy she and James would be part of the frontline defense of the school from those forces, both inside and out, wishing to do it harm, and Lily could think of no one, except Alice and maybe Frank, who she would rather have watching her back.

She glanced over at James, watching him beneath her eyelashes. He was, for a change, actually paying attention to the Sorting. Perhaps this was a sign he was maturing? Lily doubted it, but she supposed it wouldn't hurt to give him the benefit of the doubt. Even Sirius, deprived of James' attention, was watching the Sorting, although he seemed thoroughly bored.

She shook her head slightly and turned to continue watching the Sorting. Here she was mentally congratulating Potter on learning to watch the Sorting instead of always watching her, while she herself was watching Potter instead of the Sorting. She felt the other pair of eyes on her, but she supposed hoping they both would have decided to watch the Sorting instead of her was too much to hope for.

Severus felt physically ill watching Lily gaze at Potter. He had hoped, in fact he had always forced himself to believe, that Lily was merely interested in James physically. She had always seemed to be repulsed by his personality. But hearing her describe him so admiringly today in the Prefect Carriage, defending his qualifications to be Head Boy, and seeing the way she looked at him now, he could not deny that there was a strong chance that Lily had developed feelings of a deeper nature for Potter. And that only made Severus hate him more.

He would do whatever it took to keep Potter away from Lily, even if it meant killing him. He could not allow Lily to love James, to spend her life with James. The pain would be too much to bear.

James watched the Sorting, feeling as Head Boy it was his responsibility to at least make an effort to pay attention at school functions. He felt Snape's eyes lingering on him but he did not look up, he wanted to make Dumbledore proud, and part of that was being more mature, not rising to the ever constant bait Snape presented. He glanced for a moment down the table to where Lily was sitting next to Alice, the two girls watching the Sorting, Lily seemingly uncomfortable under Snape's ever watchful eyes, which had sense returned to Lily. His eyes fell on Daphne, who was seated a couple of people down from Lily; she smiled at him, a smile that did not quite reach her eyes. Her eyes, he noted, were slightly red, and he wondered if she had been crying again. The glare he received from Mary all but confirmed it.

"Best avoid dark corridors, Prongs," Sirius whispered in James' ear.

"Why's that?" James whispered back quickly, attempting to return his whole attention to the Sorting.

"Because by my count there's several people in this room who would like nothing better than to whip your ass," Sirius said with a snicker.

"My money is on Mary," Peter said from across the table. "Best friends are always overly protective."

"Good point I nearly rip people's heads off when they break your heart, Wormy," Sirius said with a wink.

"Do not, you take the piss out of him and go shag the girl," Remus said with a wry smile.

"To be fair that is his solution to everything, not just my romance problems," Peter agreed with a smile.

"I'll try to be careful," James said with a roll of his eyes. "Besides, Evans will be with me."

"That's precisely what got you into this mess to begin with," Peter said, while both Remus and Sirius chuckled into their hands, stifling the sound of their laughter.

As the Great Hall emptied, students following their respective Prefects back to their common rooms, James and Lily made their way to Professor McGonagall's office. After they were each seated across the desk from her and she had offered them both some tea, she sat for a brief moment surveying the two of them.

"First and foremost let me just say how proud I am of both of you," Professor McGonagall said with a smile. "I say that every year to the new Head Boy and Head Girl, but I can honestly tell you that you've both made me extremely proud in achieving this honor for Gryffindor. It's easily been hundreds of years since both Heads have been from the same house, and it speaks highly of both of you that Dumbledore would change that precedent in order to make the two of you Head Boy and Head Girl."

"As I am sure you both realize, your selection as Head Boy and Head Girl was not random. Dumbledore feels, and I agree, that in this dangerous time there are no two more capable people who he could entrust with part of the responsibility of keeping the students of Hogwarts' safe. Safety precautions are being redoubled in these efforts. In addition to having Prefect pairs patrol the corridors during from 10 to 11 before a faculty member takes over; I would like the two of you to also patrol the corridors, for as I'm sure you are both aware even some Prefects have questionable loyalties." She surveyed them both for a moment, and after ascertaining via a nod that both gathered her inferred meaning she continued. "In addition to this, Professor Dumbledore has decided to require patrols on the weekends as well from 11 to 12. These patrols will be carried out by the two of you. I stress the fact that I expect both of you to carry out these duties together, because although you are both very accomplished at magic, in these dangerous times, even within these walls, the two of you need to have each other's backs."

"Every other Sunday evening at 8 you will each present yourself here for a briefing with me, and if needed Professor Dumbledore, in which we will discuss any necessary matters for the coming two weeks. At 9 the two of you should meet with the Prefects at a designated location, probably your private common room, in which you will then brief them on any pertinent information."

"I recognize this is a lot to take in, but as I already said, Professor Dumbledore would not have chosen the two of you if he didn't feel you were both up to handling it. Now, I am sure that you have both had a very long day, and another long one awaits you tomorrow with the start of classes. Oh, and I almost forgot, you will need to make a schedule for the Prefects for patrols and bring it to me by the end of the week to sign off on. The faculty will take care of all patrols for this first week of term. You are dismissed."

"Evans, do you know where we're going?" James asked as he followed Lily down the corridor away from McGonagall's office. Lily waited for him to catch up, rolling her eyes and smiling.

"No, I just fancied a purposeless stroll around the castle," she answered sarcastically. "We're going to our common room, and yes I know where it is. I'm surprised you don't. I thought you marauders knew every inch of this castle."

"We tend to like a bit more exciting destinations; we've never really put much effort into scoping out the location of the Heads' Dormitory, to be honest," James said with a grin.

"Of course not, not alcohol, and they probably would have given you a detention for your late night wanderings."

"Goody-two-shoes," he said with a wink.

"And now you're supposedly one of them," Lily said with a disbelieving tone.

"I don't think Dumbledore's gone quite that crazy. I mean he does know me." James said with a laugh.

"Some might wonder how well after this appointment."

"Have you already forgotten all those nice things you said about me to Snape," James asked sardonically. Lily blushed slightly and thought for a moment before answering.

"No, I still think you're a better choice than Snape." She said with a smile. She came to a stop in front of a portrait of Bridget Wenlock, a famous arithmancer who lived during the 13th century. She was most noted for her discovery of the magical properties of the number seven, and thus was chosen the guard the Heads' Dormitory by the founders, as the Heads are always Seventh Years. "Bridget," Lily said addressing the portrait of the witch, painted in her youth.

"Miss Evans, Mr. Potter," she said curtseying to each of them in her medieval gown, before swinging open to admit them.

"She doesn't have a password?" James asked as he followed Lily through the portrait hole.

"No, she acts more like a secretary of sorts. The Head Boy and Head Girl have to be accessible to the faculty, the prefects, and any student who might need us, so anyone who needs to see us just has to come ask Bridget. She can turn inward to this side of her portrait," Lily said gesturing to the door they had just come through. James noticed that unlike the portrait of the Fat Lady that guarded Gryffindor Tower, the portrait of Bridget had the back of an empty canvas, as if two pictures had been fused together. "There's also a miniature of her in each of our bedrooms so she can reach us at anytime. If you think about it we're almost more protected than the rest of the school," she said after a moment, "I mean the other portraits and common room guards have to open if you say the right thing, but Bridget won't let anyone in without our permission."

"Yes, I suppose you proved anyone with brains could break into Ravenclaw Tower on a late night liquor run," James said with a smile. "And to think people think I'm the one who shouldn't be a Head." Lily whacked him on the head, but did not dispute his assessment.

The Head's common room was smaller than the Gryffindor common room, but it had more than enough room for its two residents. There was a large fire place against one wall and against another a rather large window that looked out on the Black Lake. The window had its own nook with a seat that Lily imagined would be lovely to sit in and read a book on a nice day. There was a rather large couch as well as several comfy looking armchairs around the fireplace, as well as several tables where homework or meetings could be held. On each of the two sides of the room there were staircases that went up to the private bedrooms above. After a moment of surveying the room, James and Lily each took off up their respective set of stairs to examine their new bedrooms. The bedrooms were mirror images of each other with the traditional four-poster bed and a private, smaller fireplace for cold winter nights. Both rooms were outfitted with a good size desk as well as a bookshelf. And off each of the two bedrooms were private bathrooms, which as far as Lily was concerned was perhaps the best part. She could hardly wait for her first really bad day just so she could come back and have a nice long bubble bath.

She heard a crash, sounding as if it was coming directly outside her door, and rushed to ascertain the cause. She was lucky, had she moved even a fraction of a step faster she would have met the same fate as James and slid down her stairs, but luckily for her the actual stairs had reappeared just as she opened the door and she was able to maintain her dignity as she made her way down the stairs to where James was lying in a heap on the floor, having hit his head on the wall as he had been thrown from the stairs.

"Ow," James said as he rubbed the knot that was quickly forming on his head.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked as she knelt down beside him, attempting to keep from laughing at the situation.

"No, I like being thrown against walls," he seemed to realize how that sounded and added after a moment, "course I like throwing people up against them even more," he said with a rogue grin.

"I'm aware," Lily said quickly. She waved her wand, summoning a hot washcloth which she used to apply pressure to his injury. "I suppose the Founders didn't trust Head Boys anymore than they do boys in the rest of the school," she said with a grin. "Of course, there is always the chance that Dumbledore also just felt the need to add the charm when he named you Head Boy," Lily added after a moment with a giggle.

"No, he wouldn't have wasted his time. Anyone at all who's lived within range of hearing knows I'd have faced worse than a bump on the head if I had attempted to sneak into your room," he said with a smile. "Of course maybe I should ask Dumbledore to charm my stairs as well so I don't have to worry about getting stunned naked on my way to the shower." Lily leveled him with a withering glare, before standing.

"Just try to remember to stay in your own bathroom and you shouldn't have to worry," she said with a smile before making her way back up the stairs to her room.

A/N: Sorry about the delay. I just didn't like the way this chapter was coming out, and kept staging it in different ways. I realize it's pretty short, there was originally more to this chapter but it just didn't seem to fit so some of that had to be moved to the next chapter. Hope you enjoy it and especially the banter between J&L.


	41. Chapter 41

Lily had finally drifted off to sleep around midnight. She had tossed and turned attempting to wrap her mind around the fact that James Potter was the new Head Boy, and exactly what that would mean for her. She knew that tonight had gone as well as could have been expected considering that she and Potter had not spoken to each other for almost six months. They had each behaved politely, even if they were overly aware of the other and had each seemed to consider their words and actions more carefully. She knew that the tempers on each of them would mean this cautious cordiality would not last them long; they would have to have it out, discuss their differences soon. And this terrified her. She could hardly even think about the bet that James had made about her, let alone confront him about it.

Around five she was awoken by the voice of Bridget's portrait speaking to her. She sat upright, imagining a Death Eater invasion or at the very least some disaster caused by Peeves, or she thought grimly the Marauders.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Miss Evans. I told the young lady that you were not yet awake, but a Miss Fortescue was quite insistent that she must see you." Insistent was a word that certainly fit her best friend, but as Lily turned to examine the clock she knew that something had to be wrong. Alice was no more of a morning person than she herself was, if she was awake, and out wandering the castle, risking being caught out of bed by Filch the very first day of school, it had to be important.

"Tell her to come right in," Lily said immediately. She hurriedly jumped up out of bed and made her way down into the common room to meet Alice. The last thing she or Alice needed was Alice accidentally barging into James' room at five in the morning. "Is everything okay?" She asked as her best friend appeared through the portrait hole.

"I'm sorry to bother you," Alice said not answering Lily's question. "I know you had a really busy day yesterday and are probably exhausted."

"Alice you know you could never bother me," Lily said. Alice arched her eyebrows at this comment, causing Lily to laugh. "Okay, you could never bother me when you're upset, which you clearly are," Lily amended. Neither girl spoke as they made their way up to Lily's bedroom, where Lily cast an imperturbable charm to ensure that they did not wake James. "What's wrong, Alice?"

"Frank and I had a fight last night and we went to bed angry, which was stupid because I should have known I would never have been able to sleep with that hanging over me."

"What was the fight about," Lily asked gently.

"The future," Alice said. "Or rather my future, I told him about an article I had seen about how the need for more Aurors was leading to the recruiting of more witches than usual. Apparently last year's class had five which is really high. I told him I thought it might be something I would be interested in, and he totally lost it. He got all protective, macho wizard on me about how he'd never be able to handle me being in constant danger and all that. I mean does he not realize I feel the same way about him being an Auror, but you don't see me telling him he can't do it! I mean it's insulting, I am every bit as good at magic as he is, I can take care of myself!"

"Frank knows that," Lily said. "He just loves you, and doesn't like to think about you being in danger."

"I know that, and I love him for it, but it's just the principle of the thing. I mean do you remember last Christmas when you were with the Marauders in Diagon Alley and they had the run in with the Death Eaters? You said that as soon as he saw the Death Eaters James repositioned himself so that he was always between you and them."

"It wasn't just him," Lily said who was still rankled by the memory, "it was all four of them, which is stupid because I was the one who saved his ass in Hogsmede."

"Exactly! And I saved all your asses when I went toe to toe with Bellatrix," Alice said. "And now Frank's acting like I am completely incapable of taking care of myself."

"You terrified me that day," Lily said, shivering at just the memory of seeing her best friend, unprotected against that monster. "I just kept thinking that if anything happened to you it would have been entirely my fault for leading you into danger."

"It wouldn't have been your fault. You weren't the one who lured James into that abandoned store, and you certainly aren't the one who has caused all this pain and destruction. All of this comes down to You Know Who, and if being an Auror means that I can play even a small role in stopping him then that's what I want to do, I just want Frank to be okay with it too."

"Frank loves you," Lily repeated. "Almost as much as I do," she added earning her a smile from her best friend. "He'll support you no matter what you decide, but having the idea sprung on him probably scared him to death. It will just take him time to get used to the idea, and to come to terms with it."

"You think?" Alice asked.

"I know," Lily answered.

"Mr. Potter, a Mr. Sirius Black is here to see you," Bridget said as the Head Boy glanced up from the table he was currently working at in the common room.

"Er right, thanks, you can let him in," James said, slightly awkwardly. It was a little weird having a portrait fielding visitors for him.

"Kind of strange that," Sirius said motioning back toward the back of Bridget's frame.

"Yeah, it will take some getting used to," James agreed. "Where's Moony and Wormtail?"

"At breakfast, you know how Moony gets a couple weeks after the," he glanced around and then mouthed the words 'full moon'. "He's just started to get his strength and energy back, and his appetite balloons. They were going to come but I was a little worried Moony was going to eat my pillow, so I told them I'd collect you myself. They'll save us seats. Has Evans been down yet?"

"No, not unless she snuck out of here well before 5 am, I've been down here since just a few minutes after, working on this damn essay for Slughorn."

"How inspiring," came a voice descending the stairs from the Head Girl's room, "exactly an hour before classes begin, and the Head Boy is just now finishing his homework."

"We can't all finish it the day they assign it, love," James said with a wink.

"We don't all wait until the day of either Potter," said a second voice, the voice of Alice Fortescue, as she followed Lily down into the common room. James' eyes widened in surprise; Sirius' mouth fell open.

"When'd you get here," Sirius said, his head swiveling between the two girls.

"She spent the night," Lily said simply. Causing both boys' eyes to widen, and the two girls to share exasperated looks in which each rolled their eyes, teenage boys were so predictable.

"I'm afraid I need more information," Sirius said and then turning to James he said, "You call yourself a Marauder and you didn't even know this was occurring mere feet from your bedroom!"

"I'm as devastated as you are mate," James said with a laugh.

"We took a bath," Lily said, barely containing her laughter at the look on Sirius' face in response.

"Yeah, we got all bubbly," Alice said with a wink at Lily.

"Then what happened," Sirius said transfixed.

"I got out and then I let Lily get a bath as well," Alice said innocently.

"That was mean and cruel," Sirius said deadpanned. "You should both be ashamed of yourselves, getting a fellow all worked up like that."

"Sorry to burst your bubble or any inflated aspects of your anatomy," Alice said with a smile, "but we really must be going."

"Have a good day," Lily said with a cheeky grin, before she and Alice both dissolved into giggles as they made their way out of the portrait hole, and down towards breakfast.

"I hate women," Sirius said, as James himself had to laugh, before gathering up his belongings and leading Sirius down to breakfast.

Peter felt happy as he ate his breakfast. Order had been restored to his world. Remus sat across from him, and on either side of Remus sat Lily and Sirius. To Peter's left sat Alice Fortescue, sitting across from Lily, and to Peter's right sat James, Frank was sitting next to Alice, with Daphne on his other side, and Mary was sitting next to Lily, currently exchanging stories of their summers. Nothing about this was monumental, except that it was. It was the first time, since James' and Lily's falling out that all of them had sat together, as they had since their very first year. Peter was glad they could start out their seventh year the way they had begun their Hogwarts careers. It just seemed right.

The first morning of term was always an interesting one for Minerva McGonagall. She made her way down to the Gryffindor table to begin handing out the new schedules. For the first year, second years, third years, fourth years, and fifth years this was fairly simple, with the occasional probing question from a nervous first year thrown in, but the sixth and seventh year schedules were more problematic as they were influenced by OWL results and whether the student had managed to keep up with the NEWT level course work. She thought, with a wry smile, that at least her seventh years had begun sitting next to each other once again, at least she could get them all done with at the same time.

Daphne Brown was the first of the seventh years she came upon. "Miss Brown, I trust you enjoyed your summer," Professor McGonagall said as she surveyed Daphne's schedule from the previous year, as well as her final marks. "I assume you will want to continue with Ancient Runes?" Professor McGonagall said with a smile.

"Yes, professor," Daphne answered with the same smile. Ancient Runes was her favorite subject, by far. She loved the mystery of it, getting to decode things; it was like finding out a really good secret. She was still unsure of what she wanted to do with it though. She had completed the internship with Gringotts in Egypt the summer before last, the same one Alice had done at the beginning of the summer, and had enjoyed it, but thought she would probably prefer something closer to home, closer to James. Her soon to be sister-in-law Katie had suggested to her that she could work at the French Ministry of Magic, where they actually had a ministry division set aside for decoding runes and researching magical mysteries all over the world, all a part of France's current efforts to compile a complete historical archive of wizarding all over the world. Daphne loved the idea of getting to travel all over, decoding runes, like an exciting detective or something, but she would not leave James, which she had told her entire family, Katie included, more times then she could count. So as much as she appreciated their confidence and support for her career ambitions, she wished they would stop attempting to pack her off to Paris.

"Professor Babbling will be happy to have you back," Professor McGonagall said, pulling Daphne out of her reverie of thoughts. After clarifying with Daphne that she did intend to continue in all her of NEWT level classes, Professor McGonagall handed Daphne her schedule. Her schedule contained Ancient Runes first thing in the morning, Astronomy, Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and History of Magic. Daphne was one of only a very few people who had ever chosen to continue with History of Magic since Professor Binns had begun teaching the class.

"Miss MacDonald, you are next," Professor McGonagall said, addressing Mary.

"Yes, Professor," Mary said turning to look at McGonagall.

"And do you intend to continue in all of your current classes?"

"Yes, Professor," Mary repeated. After checking her schedule against her marks from the previous year Mary was cleared to take Arithmancy, Astronomy, Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Muggle Studies.

"Ah, Mr. Longbottom, since I know it is your desire to become an Auror, I assume that your course selection remains the same."

"It does, Professor," Frank answered.

"Very well," McGonagall said, tapping Frank's schedule with her wand. Frank's schedule appeared on the previously blank piece of paper which McGonagall handed to him. Frank was scheduled to take Charms, Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Potions, and Herbology. "Miss Evans, am I correct in assuming that you too would like to continue with your current course selection?"

"Yes, please, Professor," Lily said with a smile. A moment later Lily had her schedule which consisted of Ancient Runes, Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, and Potions.

"Miss Fortescue," Professor McGonagall addressed Alice, "I received your owl, very, very late last night," she added peering at Alice over her glasses. Alice peered right back, she was never one to be easily embarrassed or shamed. "You are already taking all the necessary requirements to enter the Auror program, if that is what you wish to do."

"It is, Professor," Alice said, she noticed, as did Professor McGonagall, that Frank had stiffened by her side, but he said nothing.

"Very well then," Professor McGonagall said after a moment. "Here is your schedule." Alice's schedule was the same as Lily's, with the exception that Lily took Ancient Runes and Alice took Arithmancy.

Remus was cleared next to take Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Transfiguration, Herbology, and Care of Magical Creatures.

Peter was then cleared to take Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Herbology, Muggle Studies, and Charms. Professor McGonagall had always been amazed that Peter had scored the necessary scores to continue in Transfiguration, although she supposed that having three best friends who were above average in the subject to tutor him must have paid off. Of course she did not know that Peter, along with his two of his three exceptional best friends, had managed to become Animagi several years ago, after which most transfiguration seemed pretty easy. As she handed him his schedule, she also informed him of an opportunity that had come across her desk that she thought he might be interested in looking into. The Ministry was looking for people to fill a newly created position who were above average in Muggle Studies, at which Peter was one of the best, it being one of the few areas in which he easily excelled, to study Muggle areas the ministry believed might be at risk to Death Eater attacks, and report back what measures could be done to help protect the Muggles in those areas. Peter seemed to light up with the recognition, which earned him a wink from Sirius, a pat on the back from James, and whispers of encouragement from Remus, and told Professor McGonagall that he would certainly consider it and would come by her office to pick up the information later today.

She pulled out two blank pieces of paper as she came to James and Sirius. "I don't suppose either of you want to change your schedules either?"

"No, Professor," both boys responded with the same cheeky grin. Professor McGonagall looked as though she might roll her eyes, but just barely contained that impulse.

"I've never quite known which is stronger, your desire to both become aurors, or to ensure you are in all the same classes," Professor McGonagall noted as she tapped the pieces of paper with her wand.

"We wouldn't be nearly as entertaining for you apart," James said with a smile.

"Don't pretend like you're not going to miss us next year, Minnie," Sirius said using his favorite nickname for the Professor, earning him a stern, but yet somehow still amused look.

She did not agree, nor did she protest, she merely handed each boy his schedule, before shaking her head slightly to herself and moving to the next students down the table. The image of the two boys, laughing and smiling, would be one that would come rushing back to her many times over the years. She had had more problems from James and Sirius, and more often than not Remus and Peter along with them, than any other Gryffindors she had ever taught, but she was also immensely proud of them. In a world torn apart by violence, they were beacons, even at such a young age, of courage and integrity. She would never be able to reconcile that image of the two smiling best friends, with the later image of James and Lily dead, betrayed by none other than Sirius. And she would find that to her own surprise, once his innocence was proven, she believed it much faster than all the others, perhaps she'd never really believed it possible deep down. And maybe, just maybe, years later when another pair of laughing young first year boys came running into her class late, and just a few months later attempted, and succeeded, in taking on a full grown troll, she didn't have the heart to be mad, because those smiles brought back so many memories.

A/N: So I confess this chapter was not supposed to end here, but when I got into the McGonagall mode and started thinking about everything and the words just kind of came here at the end I really liked it and it seemed like the right place to end. If you don't like, I apologize and I can assure you a more "action" filled chapter is coming, if you did like it then I'm really glad because I confess I'm pretty happy with it.


	42. Chapter 42

A/N: A slight error to correct from the previous chapter. In listing off the classes taken by all of the Gryffindor 7th years, I left out Herbology for Alice and Lily. It's a small thing, but as they take part in the class in this chapter and others I didn't want anyone to get confused or think that they were just randomly hanging out in Herbology. My apologies.

James, Sirius, and Peter made their way outside on to the grounds as all three had their first period on Monday free, which was made all the better by the fact they could tease Remus as he had to make his way down to Care of Magical Creatures whilst they could just relax and do nothing. They had invited Frank to join them in their leisurely stroll about the grounds, as he too had a free period this morning, but he had declined and the marauders knew he was in no mood for a carefree stroll, and had instead withdrawn somewhere to brood over his ongoing fight with Alice.

"Any idea what they're at odds about," Peter asked as he attempted to locate a good, flat rock to skip on the black lake.

"Not the slightest," Sirius answered as he tossed his own rock with a flick of his wrist, resulting in two and half skips. "Damn lake is too marshy for any real hops," he said disdainfully before attempting to locate another.

"Best be glad," James said from where he was tossing his own stone. "I'm sure the giant squid would like nothing better than to skip you if one of our rocks happens to skip on his head." All three boys smiled, each secretly wishing one would just so they could claim to have taken on the giant squid, something that would only serve to bolster their already impressive legacies.

Lily took her seat in Ancient Runes and pulled out her textbook and some spare pieces of parchment on which to take notes. Professor Babbling was not one to waste the first day of class, and copious amounts of note-taking could be expected.

"Hey Lily," Daphne said as she took her usual seat beside Lily.

"Hi Daphne," Lily said with a smile. "I was sorry to hear about you and James."

"Thanks," Daphne said, and although she maintained her composure and showed no outward sign of distress, internally she felt as though she was being ripped to shreds-again. He had told Lily that he and Daphne were broken up, which technically was a lie, because she had been perfectly clear that they were only taking a break. She would be damned if she let him get away with that. "It's not really a big deal," Daphne continued, "We're just sort of taking a break to figure some things out. My parents weren't thrilled with James' post-Hogwarts plans, they would prefer me to be with someone more stable, and who isn't planning on being so close to the front lines. James knows how close I am with them and I think he feels guilty about the strain our relationship has placed on my relationship with them, and I just needed to give my parents some time, show them that I don't care if James' plans will put me in danger, that I love him and that's all there is to it."

"Oh," Lily said, and she too managed to keep her true emotions from showing on her face, "well I'm sure they'll come around eventually."

As Professor Babbling began to lecture and Lily's quill flew across the page attempting to capture the key points she could not help but puzzle over what Daphne had just told her. She wasn't quite sure what or who to believe. Looking back, James had stumbled over his words when he informed her that he and Daphne were broken up, but was it because he was lying, or that he simply didn't want to get in to all the gory details with Lily because it wasn't really any of her business and so he had just given her the oversimplified version? Or was it possible that James really did think they were broken up and Daphne didn't? Maybe that was why it had been a mutual decision, because they each had a different understanding of the decision.

She wanted to talk to Alice about this new revelation, but they would not have a chance in Herbology, because the Marauders would be there, and for that matter so would Aidan. And while it was true that Aidan knew or suspected her feelings for James Potter, she was not going to shove it under his nose, her feelings for James had caused him enough heartache in the past.

"Did you ask Lily about her fascination with Snape and Crouch?" Sirius asked James as the boys continued to lounge by the lake during their morning free period.

"No, things were so crazy last night I didn't get the chance. Besides, I didn't just want to spring it on her and give her a chance to flat out deny it. I have a plan though. Tonight we're going to put together the Prefect patrol schedules and I think I'm going to suggest pairing them up and see how she reacts."

"Brilliant mate," Sirius said. "It's very underhanded, and covert. I love it," he added with a grin.

"A plan Padfoot loves and admires for its brilliance, are you sure this is a good idea," Remus said making his way over to the other three boys.

"Moony, skipping class already," Sirius said. "I'm even more impressed than I was with Prongs."

"Not hardly," Remus said with a grin, sitting down under the tree alongside the other three boys who had long since given up their rock skipping. "Kettleburn had an accident when preparing our lesson yesterday and has some pretty bad burns; he just gave a quick overview of what we'd be studying this year and then dismissed us."

"Sometimes I wonder how that man has any limbs left at all," Peter said to which the other three boys nodded in agreement. Professor Kettleburn was world renowned for his experience and expertise with magical creatures, but he also tended to be a bit of a klutz which had put him on the receiving end of more than a few serious injuries over the years. It was a common concern amongst his students that this would only get worse as he reached old age, and many suspected that the two fingers he had already lost would not be the last body parts he would part with.

The boys sat silently for a moment each considering their own thoughts until Peter spoke.

"Do we know that the Crouch-Snape thing has anything to do with You-Know-Who?"

"No, I mean I suppose it could be anything. Why, what are you thinking?" James asked.

"Just that both boys and Lily were Prefects last year; I mean why would You-Know-Who risk approaching the son of the man in charge of bringing him and his Death Eaters to justice? I just think maybe it's about something else entirely." He waited for the other boys to make fun of him, he was the only one who refused to say the name, and he knew his friends were eager for just this sort of adventure, but they did not.

"Pete makes a good point," Remus said. "Why would Voldemort want to grab Crouch's attention when he's so conveniently avoiding finding and prosecuting the real bad people?" Remus said exasperatedly.

"Could it be a Prefect thing?" James asked, addressing Remus.

"Nothing I know of," Remus said, considering, "I can't think of a time they really had any contact last year."

"The Slug Club," Sirius said suddenly, causing all three of the other boys to turn around in surprise as Sirius had been uncharacteristically quiet during the exchange. "Surely, Crouch meets Sluggy's characteristics. He's smart and has an influential family."

"And Lily's in the Slug Club too," said Peter.

"And once again I prove to you non-believers that I am in fact a genius!" Sirius said with a grin, "But for the record, I still think it has something to do with You-Know-Who, I just wanted to make sure I was the one to realize the slimy slug connection."

"Your input is noted, Padfoot," James said.

"Well, Sirius the Genius, wow that kind of rhymes," Remus said with a laugh, "if you don't get your genius ass up, we're all going to be late for Herbology."

"Damn, someone get Moony some food, he's getting cranky again." Sirius said as the boys started on their way to Herbology.

Like most NEWT level classes the seventh year Herbology class was quite small, with only twelve students total. More than half of the twelve, seven to be precise, were Gryffindors. The rest of the class was made up of three Slytherins, a Ravenclaw, and a Hufflepuff.

"Get in your groups of four, seventh years!" Professor Sprout said as she made her way into Greenhouse Three. She was unsurprised to see how the groups divided, it was fairly predictable anyway, and even more so in these politically charged times.

At the large center table sat the two Gryffindor groups, or rather the Gryffindor group and the Gryffindor plus one Hufflepuff group. The first of the groups was made up of James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew, the only group that had remained completely unchanged all seven years they had taken her class. On the other side of the table was the group comprised of Lily Evans, Alice Fortescue, Frank Longbottom, and Aidan MacMillan, the sole member of her house to continue in NEWT level Herbology.

At the side table sat the rest, for truly that's what they were in Professor Sprout's observation. The Slytherins needed one more group member as there were only three of them, none of the Gryffindors or Aidan would ever have considered it, and even if they had been willing, the Slytherins would never have permitted it. And so that left Walden MacNair to be in a group with Severus Snape, Irving Wilkes, and Averick Mulciber.

"Today," Professor Sprout said, once they had all taken their seats, "you'll be working on something fairly simple, but crucially important. It is due to its overall importance that it is only ever discussed, but never handled, until Seventh Year, not due to its level of difficulty. That being said, it is something that, just like everything else handled in this greenhouse, should be given your utmost attention. I am speaking of dittany. Its essence, once harvested, can serve as a vital tool in potion making, as well as an important first aid tool in its own right. For the first half of class today I want you to closely observe the dittany in various stages of growth and development I have laid out in front of you. Take careful notes, examine them each in every way you would any other plant in order to ascertain its properties, and characteristics. Wear your gloves and goggles in order to protect you, and consult with your group members on your findings and results. It is crucial that you understand and can recognize the plant in its different stages, its essence can only be used for potions and for healing in one of its many stages, any other time its effects can range from nothing to highly corrosive and dangerous, so precede with caution."

"Just once I'd like to have her say this is a cute and cuddly plant, you can do whatever you'd like with it, it has no way to injure you," Peter said, as the students set to work examining the plants in front of them.

"Ah, but where's the fun in that, Wormy," James said with a smile.

"Speaking of a lack of fun," Sirius said looking up from the plant he was supposed to be examining, "what the hell is up with you two not-so-loving love birds?" He asked, addressing Alice and Frank. "I can feel the chill all the way down here."

"I think that's just because you don't have the usual female attached to you to provide warmth," Frank said.

"Well played, Longbottom, well played." Sirius said with a grin. "But speaking of attached females, did you know that your girlfriend and the head girl spent the night together, taking baths."

"We spent the night together the night before that too, Sirius," Lily said with a sarcastic wink.

"Bet you wish you felt that chill now, huh Black? I'd wager it would help to make you a little more comfortable now," Alice said with a smile causing Lily, Aidan, Frank, Remus, Peter, and James to snicker, while Sirius merely gave a nod in Alice's direction, admitting temporary defeat.

"Less chatter over there," Professor Sprout said addressing the two groups. "You're meant to be two small groups not one large one, discuss in your groups your observations, don't just take the time to gossip with your table."

"So let me get this straight," Alice said as she paced from back and forth across Lily's bedroom, "Daphne is claiming that they aren't broken up but just taking some sort of break?"

"That's what she said," Lily said from where she sat cross-legged on her bed, eyeing Alice wearily.

"That's the dumbest thing I ever heard," Alice said stopping and looking at Lily.

"She had good reasons for it," Lily said. "I mean if you were Daphne's parents would you want her dating James when he plans on being front and center in the war?"

"I'm your best friend and I want you to date James," Alice said.

"Ha ha, that's not the point. We both know that Daphne is the center of her parents' and her brother's, for that matter, world. They want her away from the danger, hence their plans to send her to France with her brother and sister-in-law that she always used to talk about."

"Good point, she hasn't brought that up in forever, she used to drive me crazy with all her talk about Paris this and Paris that."

"Exactly, clearly she would never consider leaving James, which is why from her parents' perspective he's putting her in danger."

"I suppose it makes sense," Alice admitted, "but that doesn't make it true." Seeing the look on Lily's face she amended, "I know that it doesn't make it untrue either, but maybe it's like you said they both have different understandings of their break up. Daphne would never break up with James, and I'm not sure she could handle him breaking up with her, so maybe she does think it's just a break to figure things out, a temporary break, whereas maybe James saw this as his way out, and he is foreseeing a much more permanent break."

"I don't know, it just adds another thing about James that I'm unsure of, and I know that we're going to have to talk about it all eventually, I just hope it's still a ways away because I'm not sure I can handle it."

"Of course you can," Alice said. "Now I better go, didn't you say that you and James were going to work on the Prefect schedules tonight?"

"Yeah, I'm meeting him downstairs in about a half hour," Lily replied. "Talk to Frank, Alice," Lily said as she walked her best friend to the door, "it's the only way you two are ever going to get through this."

"I know, and maybe you should talk to James too, and not just about Prefect schedules," Alice said with a smile.

"Good night, Alice," Lily said with a roll of her eyes.

James made his way down the stairs from his bedroom into the common room he shared with Lily. He paused at the foot of the stairs for a moment and watched her tuck a strand of hair behind her ear as she perused through her planner, which he knew was probably already substantially filled. After a moment, he cleared his throat to announce his presence and made his way over to sit beside her on the couch. He plopped down, careful to bounce her a little just to annoy her.

"Did you have a good first day back?" He asked politely.

"I did, yeah. I've always liked the first day of school," she glared at him as if daring him to make a comment with the words 'priss' or prefect', but he remained quiet, although the dancing light in his eyes assured her the words were being snickered in his head. "It's the rest of the week I have trouble with," she continued after a moment, "the newness of the school year has worn off and then the feeling of ugh I don't want to do this every single day begins to set in."

"I can understand that," he said conversationally. "First day back you're catching up with people, testing the teachers, after that you just have to settle in for the long haul." Glancing down at her planner he added with a grin, "and it looks as though it's going to be a very long haul indeed this year."

"Merlin, you are a genius!" She said while rolling her eyes. "I don't know why you're so giddy about me having to do all this work we're in most of the same classes."

"True, that," James said. "And what were they thinking when they designed our schedules? Look at these days!" he said gesturing to the schedule she had stuck in her planner. "We have Potions three days a week! And on Tuesday and Thursday we have Double Transfiguration and Double Defense Against the Dark Arts, which granted are my two best subjects, but the two of them doubled and together on the same day, they've gone mental!"

"I think we knew that the moment you got that badge," Lily said with a sardonic wink.

"Touché, Evans, touché."

"Speaking of Defense," Lily continued "have you heard anything about the new professor?"

"Actually, I do," James answered. "His name, as you heard last night, is Caradoc Dearborn. I've never met him but I've heard of him. He graduated Hogwarts about ten or fifteen years ago and went to school to become an Auror. He left awhile ago though; I think he got disillusioned because not enough was being done. He joined the Order about six months ago, Dumbledore recruited him, and then when Dumbledore couldn't find anyone crazy enough to risk the dreaded curse," he rolled his eyes, "Dearborn stepped up."

"He should be good then if he has real Auror experience," Lily said. "I overheard several of the first year girls talking about him earlier, apparently he's quite good looking up close," Lily said with roll of her eyes, "so I guess you and Sirius might have some competition in the fantasies of young, naïve Hogwarts girls."

"What about the older ones," James said eying her suggestively.

"Possibly," she said with a grin, before adding mischievously, "I know I've fantasized about you and Sirius getting throttled by the giant squid before."

"What did I do to make Dumbledore decide to subject me to such abuse," James said in mock sorrow.

"Do you want the summary version or the itemized list?" Lily said with a laugh.

"Priss," James said with a laugh.

"Terror," Lily answered in return.

"Marauder," James corrected.

"Same thing," Lily said.

"Most of the time," James agreed. "So how does this scheduling thing work?"

"The seventh-year Prefects are responsible for patrolling the corridors after curfew until eleven during the week. Obviously that leaves one extra day that has traditionally been filled by one pair of sixth-year prefects each week on a rotating basis so each pair only does it once a month."

"And that's when McGonagall said she wants us to also patrol to ensure that the Slytherin prefects behave themselves," James said with a smirk, as if daring her to object to his characterization of the Slytherins. She raised her eyebrows slightly but otherwise made no indication that she had noticed his word choice.

"Yes, which I guess will mean that you will just come with Remus and me on our night each week to patrol, as I still have to fulfill my duties as a Gryffindor Prefect."

"I like the sound of that." James said his eyes alight. "You, me, and Moony out looking for trouble," James added with a wink.

"We're looking for trouble makers, James, not trouble." She said with a weary smile.

"Whatever you say, boss."

"We also have to make a schedule for the young prefects for patrolling the library prior to curfew, just to give Madam Pince some extra support."

"Not that she needs it," James said.

"Things can get a little complicated there, with the sixth year Prefects occasionally pulling double duty with night partrols as well, as well as attempting to adjust for peoples Quidditch schedules," she leveled a glare at him, " and everything else, so occasionally people end up with double shifts or working two weeks in a row, but we try and avoid that, and if it ever does happen we make sure they get the following week off."

"It sounds like putting together a puzzle," James observed.

"It is," Lily agreed. "Leena Sharejoy told me that this helped her keep it straight last year," she held up several different colored quills. "They kept the names color coded by house to avoid any charges that one house was being worked harder than another. I think we would do well to copy that, especially seeing as we're both Gryffindors, and everyone, the Slytherins in particular, will be watching us for signs of favoritism."

"What about mixed pairings," James said holding his breath; this was the opening he had been waiting for, "pairing up people from different houses. For example," he said glancing down at the list of prefects to appear as if he were picking two names at random, "we could pair up Snape and Barty Crouch Jr."

"NO," Lily said a little too quickly and a little too loudly. She saw James smile and realized that that had been his intent all along, he had set a trap, and she had stepped right into it. She bowed her head in acquiescence.

"So what's going on with Snape and Crouch?" James asked eagerly.

"I don't know," Lily said. James looked as if he were about to interrupt but she put a hand up to silence him. "I'm not trying to get out of telling you anything," Lily said, reading his facial expression, "I'm just merely prefacing my answer with the fact that I know nothing for certain, it's probably nothing, I just feel like something isn't right."

"I trust your instincts." And so she told him everything she knew, everything she had witnessed, and everything she suspected. He listened, only interrupting to clarify this point or that, and when she had finished telling him her story he did not laugh, or dismiss it as crazy or paranoid, he seemed genuinely as perplexed as she was and grateful that she had shared with him.

"I propose a meeting of the minds," James said after a moment of contemplation.

"And what minds would be meeting," Lily asked, her eyebrow arched.

"The best and brightest, of course: the marauders," James said with a smile. Lily burst out laughing, but then surprised James with her response.

"Alright, Potter, you're on. Go gather your fellow marauders, I'll gather my forces as well and we'll have your meeting of the minds."

"You've got yourself a deal, Evans."

Severus sat in the Slytherin common room, holding court much as Lucius Malfoy had once done. To his right sat Augustus Rookwood, his closest friend and advisor. Rookwood was incredibly smart and, much like Tom Riddle before him, he was incredibly personable. While he was a Slytherin, he had friends, or at least people who considered him friends, in the other houses. He was never heard, at least not in public, to spout anti-muggle born rhetoric, so common amongst the Slytherins. Voldemort, having seen these qualities in him, had encouraged them. He knew that the boy with the disfigured face had built up such a strong personality because it was the only way to get people to see past his face, and just like with Snape and Bellatrix, Voldemort knew what young Rookwood wanted and how to allow him to receive it in service to his master. Rookwood's mission was perhaps the most dangerous, purely because it could not be kept secret. The other Death Eaters, particularly those at Hogwarts, had to know and understand that Rookwood was to be treated as a friend, but never as a close friend, or certainly not as an associate or colleague, in front of the rest of the school, because Rookwood was being groomed for the Ministry of Magic. And not just any department, Voldemort fully intended his young follower to be his eyes and ears within the Department of Mysteries and therefore he could not be labeled as a Death Eater or even as a friend of Death Eaters.

Severus missed being able to hang out with Augustus outside of the common room, but understood the reasoning behind it. To his left sat his other close friends and fellow Death Eaters, Irving Wilkes and Averick Mulciber. Wilkes had, much like Severus, come to Hogwarts without knowing anyone and had been mentored by Lucius Malfoy. Mulciber had not needed mentoring. His father had been one of the original Death Eaters, one of the few who had known Voldemort when he was still called Tom Riddle. Voldemort, as well as the elder Mulciber, had himself educated the younger. He had come to Hogwarts already well versed in dark magic, and was now at the age of seventeen a specialist at the Unforgivable Curses, particularly the Imperious Curse. He was quiet and soft spoken, friendly with his fellow seventh years, but not particularly close. The other boys did not push him or pry, they had understood from their first meeting that this boy had seen and done things that up to this point the others could only imagine. He had killed, tortured, and bewitched, but he had no desire to lead. And so he had left control of the Death Eaters of Slytherin to Snape.

Snape considered this as he sat, and couldn't help but feel sorry for Mulciber. He had the respect of Snape and their fellow seventh years, of all the young Death Eaters, but respect wasn't friendship. Mulciber had no friends, at least not now that Avery had graduated the previous year. Avery, like Mulciber, was a child of an original Death Eater, and as such had been raised in much of the same way as Mulciber. A year a part, the boys were more brothers than best friends. Without Avery, Mulciber seemed very much alone. Something Snape could understand, as he had also lost his best friend, even if she was still at Hogwarts.

This group of four boys: Snape, Rookwood, Wilkes, and Mulciber made up the entirety of the seventh-year Slytherin boys. All four were Death Eaters, and it now fell to them to guide and lead their fellow Death Eaters within Hogwarts.

Evan Rosier and Regulus Black were both in their sixth year at Hogwarts. Both had been given a Dark Mark over the summer, having earned their place in the Death Eater ranks. Kennice Selwyn, Rosier's fellow sixth year prefect, was not herself a Death Eater, but her both her elder brother and several of her cousins were, not to mention her fiancée Zabini, and thus had the trust and respect of the boys and was allowed to help when it was needed, and her help would be needed if the attack on Hogsmede was to be carried out successfully. Sitting next to her, something Kennice seemed immensely displeased with, were the Carrow siblings, or as Rookwood referred to them in private, "the Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee of Hogwarts". Snape knew he was not alone in wishing Selwyn, and not the Carrows, bore the Dark Mark.

Snape surveyed each of them before speaking. "None of us will be in Hogsmede during the attack," he ignored the stunned looks on the Carrows faces and continued, there would be time for questions later. "The Dark Lord has other intentions for us."

A/N: Thank you all for your continued reading and support. I apologize for the long wait and I could easily make up an excuse but the truth is after my weeks of studying for finals and writing papers when I got home from college the first week of May I had no desire to even go near my computer. I've been planning out the dialogue in my head, and occasionally over the last couple weeks I would write a page here and a page there, but I wanted to take a few weeks off and just enjoy freedom and being home with my family and my kitty. But I'm back now and at your service once more. Thanks, as always, for your reviews, kind words, and continued patronage of my story. It means more to me than I can ever say. Xoxo


	43. Chapter 43

Were it not for the serious matter they had gathered to discuss, the gathering in the Heads' Common Room might have been a light-hearted evening spent amongst friends. After they had all made their way into the room, James lit the fire in the hearth, while Lily passed out the pumpkin juice that Peter had brought. James thought it a telling sign of the seriousness of the situation that Lily did not object to smuggled drinks and snacks from the kitchens being brought into the Head's Common Room.

James and Lily returned to the spots where their conversation had begun, the small sofa, and surveyed the friendly, although somewhat anxious or anticipatory, faces around them. Alice and Frank sat together in one of the large armchairs by the fire place; Aidan sat in the other, while Sirius, Remus, and Peter sat together on the larger of the two sofas. Lily began by recounting, for the second time that night, everything she had witnessed over the summer. She did not go into her suspicions, as she wanted to hear the unbiased views and immediate reactions and instincts of those around her. She did all this mainly for the benefit of the marauders, as Alice, Frank, Aidan, and most recently James, had all heard the story. Not surprisingly, Sirius was the first to speak.

"Well, I agree with what I am assuming is your unspoken assumption, Evans, Snape is clearly up to something, but what? And more importantly is it for his own means or for Voldemort's?"

"I wish we knew the significance of who he's targeting," Aidan said slowly. "I mean obviously Crouch is significant because of his father, but that would seem to be a reason for not targeting him. And as for MacNair, well I don't know a lot about him, other than that he's damn good at Care of Magical Creatures, but he just seems a completely random choice."

"I agree," Frank said. "Those two choices would almost seem to point to something innocuous. I don't think it is anything innocuous, I'm just saying that that's what would seemingly make the most sense, at least with MacNair."

"How so," James asked eagerly, leaning forward in interest.

"Well," Frank began, "as Aidan pointed out MacNair is good at Care of Magical Creatures. I don't take the subject myself, but I would assume that there would be some overlap with both Herbology and Potions," he said, glancing at Remus for confirmation.

"There is," Remus said with a nod and then elaborated, saying, "And even if he didn't have as much acumen in those subjects as with Care of Magical Creatures, he would need access to both plants and various potions in order to treat the animals and stuff like that."

"So, assumedly, any association between MacNair and Snape could be explained as academic." Everyone seemed to consider this for a moment, before Alice spoke up.

"But Snape approached MacNair, not the other way around."

"I suppose MacNair could have contacted Snape by owl, asked him to meet him in Diagon Alley, and Snape was merely approaching him once he arrived," Sirius said reasonably although he looked like he disliked the idea of giving Snape any sort of benefit of the doubt.

"I don't think Severus would agree to meet with him," Lily said. She had intended to keep quiet, but she recognized that as the person closest to Snape she had the most insight into his personality. "As far as I know he doesn't know MacNair, and Severus isn't the type to just go out of his way to help someone he isn't close with."

"Agreed," Peter said. "He's not exactly the warm and fuzzy type."

"More cold and greasy," Sirius said, before returning to the topic at hand. "If it's alright by all of you, I'd like to move the discussion to Crouch for a moment. I think, as we've all touched on, we just simply do not know a lot about MacNair. I'm not saying we're encyclopedias on Crouch, but I feel like we might make more headway on possible reasons for Snape to be targeting him. Does anyone have any ideas on why Snape is just creeping on Crouch and not approaching him?"

"It's like everyone has said," Peter began. "He's too well connected. Snape hangs around with people who have to at least be suspected by the Ministry of having Death Eater connections, surely he can't want to be drawing the attention of the Minister of Magical Law Enforcement, even if it is through contact with his son."

"Exactly," Aidan said. "I think that's what bothers me the most. Why bother with Crouch Jr. at all? It seems like it could only cause problems."

"Unless," Alice spoke slowly, still forming the idea that had just occurred to her, "he isn't planning on approaching him, his purpose is just what we've observed: reconnaissance."

"Why watch the son?" Remus questioned, "Why not watch the father?"

"Daddy Crouch probably has security," Sirius reasoned fairly.

"But what valuable information could he get by just watching the son?" Remus countered.

"Maybe it isn't information on the father he's looking for," James spoke up. "Maybe he's watching the son to learn about the son. I overheard mum and dad talking one day over the summer, apparently there has been an uptick in the use of the Imperious Curse, seems to me Voldemort would love to have an Imperious victim within the house of Minister of Magical Law Enforcement."

All eight students surveyed each other for a moment, all aware of the magnitude of what they were discussing, and frustratingly aware that the most they could do right now was hypothesize. They simply did not have enough information to successfully answer their many questions. When the alarm Lily had set, to alert them at ten minutes till curfew, sounded each of the students pulled themselves out of their thoughts and said their goodbyes. No one needed to be reminded about the need for discretion, and no one needed to be asked to keep their eyes peeled and their ears open, both messages were unspoken, yet heard and taken to heart by all present.

Seven Gryffindors and one Hufflepuff, the Head Boy and the Head Girl surrounded each by the three people they most trusted in this world, and because of that an alliance was formed. They did not know what was going on or what was going to happen, but in that moment they knew they could rely on each other.

"Alice, we need to talk," Frank said as he and Alice made their way back into the Gryffindor common room.

"I know," Alice said and she motioned for Frank to join her by the window in the by now almost deserted common room.

"I'm sorry," both Alice and Frank said at the same time, causing both of them to smile. Alice nodded for Frank to go first and so after taking her hand in his he said, "I love you, Alice. And it terrifies me to think that you might be in danger, but it became apparent when we were all gathered at Lily and James' room that pretty soon this war's going to touch us all, it's going to be fought by everyone, not just aurors. As much as I want to keep you safe, I know that that's not always going to be possible. You're a damn good witch, Alice, and you'd make a damn good auror, so if that's what you want to do then I support you."

Alice kissed him lightly on the lips before responding, "Thank you, Frank. I know you want to protect me, and I feel the same way too, but I know that whatever is coming I'd rather face it with you, than apart from you. I know I should have consulted with you about my sudden change in career plans, and not just foisted them on you without any warning, but I promise you it is something I've considered carefully. I would never do anything to jeopardize our future, Frank. Because that's what it is: our future. I'm not interested in any road that leads to a future without you."

Relieved to have what might possibly have been the most serious fight the couple had ever had behind them, they sat for a long time with their heads together, kissing, whispering in each other's ears, and at other times just sitting together enjoying being together once more.

The NEWT level Defense Against the Dark Arts class met for a double period every Tuesday and Thursday, first thing in the morning. And so as the second day of classes dawned, those select Seventh Years made their way into the classroom and prepared themselves for their seventh new DADA professor. It was a large class, possibly the largest of any of the NEWT level classes, which was surprising given the upheaval over the years due to the constant change in faculty. All nine of the seventh year Gryffindors had achieved the requisite score and were in the class. Aidan MacMillan, Dorcas Meadowes, Katie Finch and Donald Fletchley made up the Hufflepuff contingent in the class. The prefects, Terris Boot and Marlowe Fawcett, as well as Marnie Greengrass, Ludo Bagman, and Walden MacNair, represented Ravenclaw. And just as with the Gryffindors, all of the seventh year Slytherins: Snape, Rookwood, Wilkes, and Mulciber, Alodia Greengrass, Kira Selwyn, the elder sister of sixth year Slytherin prefect, Kennice, and the aptly named Obedience Pritchard, who seemed to make every decision in her life, including which classes to take, only after consulting her boyfriend, Augustus Rookwood. She did not know about Rookwood's true allegiance to Voldemort, or that he was still closely tied to Snape and the other young Death Eaters, she did not ask questions, she merely took him at his word that he wanted nothing to do with that crowd any longer, and therefore she had vocally declared she wanted nothing more to do with them either. Rookwood believed that she was perhaps one of the most convincing aspects of his cover story, being that everyone knew Obedience was a terrible liar, and everyone knew that Obedience always thought or felt how Augustus told her to think or feel.

Their professor, the newest in a long line of Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, was Caradoc Dearborn. In his early thirties, he had turned his back on a promising career as an Auror to join the Order of the Phoenix and make his own way, away from what he viewed as the corruption of the Ministry. When Dumbledore had been unable to find anyone willing to take on the supposedly cursed position, he had volunteered, and now as he faced his first NEWT level class, he couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and trepidation.

"Welcome, my name is Professor Dearborn, and as I'm sure you are aware this is the second year NEWT level Defense Against the Dark Arts class. I notice that most of you have your books with you today, in the future, unless I indicate otherwise, those won't be necessary. You have, I know, a multitude of books that you are forced to lug around with you between classes, so not that one less book will make a huge difference, but at least I can sleep with a clear conscience knowing I did all I could to alleviate future back problems." There was a quiet murmur of appreciation, and several people giggled quietly at the small joke, to which Dearborn smiled appreciatively.

"However, let me make myself perfectly clear, just because I don't want you bringing your books to class, does not mean I don't expect you to read them. On the contrary, this class will have assigned readings that I expect you to have read, and taken careful notes on, before you come to class each day. At the beginning of class, I will answer any questions you might have, and then we will begin to practice. Theory is important, but the practical, particularly in times like the ones we are currently facing is imperative. I will teach you what you need to know to pass your NEWTS, but my overall goal in this class is to teach you what you need to know in order to survive. Tests are important, but living is even more important, you're NEWT score won't matter at all if you're not alive to do anything with it. So, are there any questions?"

No one spoke. James and Sirius were gazing at Dearborn with the respect they usually reserved only for Dumbledore and McGonagall. Peter was looked at Dearborn as if he found him to be one of the most awe inspiring people he had ever met, and Remus' hand was twitching towards his wand as if he could not wait to get started.

For her part, Lily was impressed with this new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, and shared Remus' excitement to get started. Her excitement was dampened however when Alice, who was sitting beside her, elbowed her slightly and nodded toward the large Slytherin contingent in the room. In spite of the fact that students from both Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw were separating the large group of Gryffindors from the large group of Slytherins, Lily had no difficulty observing what Alice was directing her attention to. The Slytherins were going out of their way to appear bored. Kira Selwyn was reading Witch Weekly, occasionally passing it to Alodia Greengrass beside her to point out an interesting article or picture. Severus was reclining in his chair, curtain like hair drawn around his face so that it was impossible to tell whether he was paying attention or not. Wilkes, who was sitting next to Snape, yawned pointedly every few moments, whereas Mulciber, who was sitting by himself in the row immediately behind Snape and Wilkes, tended to sigh exaggeratedly every time Professor Dearborn, hesitated or paused.

Of the Slytherins, only Rookwood seemed to be paying attention, as he had kept his eyes glued on Professor Dearborn the entire time. Lily supposed that Obedience was also attempting to show she was paying attention, but as her eyes remained on Rookwood, Lily couldn't be quite sure.

After pausing a moment to give people a chance to ask questions Professor Dearborn broke them up into groups to review what they had learned last year, and allow him to move about the room and observe what areas might still need attention, and what areas the students clearly understood. With a swish of his wand their desks had disappeared leaving the students plenty of room to practice.

"Please use non-verbal spells as much as you can," Dearborn said before they began to work, "that way I can gauge how well you are all doing with them as well."

And so in groups of two or three they set to work. James and Peter were partners, James adeptly realizing that Peter probably could use with a bit of practice and Sirius would be likely to take the time to beat up on Peter instead. James knew he would get no such luck with Remus, whose skills at Defense Against the Dark Arts equaled James' own.

Daphne and Mary took turns silently jinxing each other while attempting to ward off the other person's curses. About 80% of the time they succeeded in blocking the unfriendly spell, but when one did get through both girls hurriedly apologize, sorry for inflicting any sort of harm, intentional or otherwise, for even a temporary amount of time.

Lily, Alice, and Frank had a good time in their group even though it was decidedly more difficult for them to keep from being jinxed or hexed as they had to defend themselves against two other people instead of just one.

By the time the class ended they had all managed to land several good jinxes on each other, as well as manage to silently repel even more. They were all in fairly good spirits as they made their way into the Entrance Hall, where Peter and Mary took their leave from the group and made their way to Muggle Studies, and Daphne, having not slept hardly at all the previous night, made her way back up to Gryffindor tower for a quick nap. She had been in the common room when Alice, Frank, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had all returned last night, and it had been fairly obvious they'd all spent the evening with Lily and James. The thought of Lily and James doing anything, even something as innocuous as hosting a joint gathering for their friends, was painful, and it had kept her up all night fretting. She had no desire to sit and watch them socialize together for the next hour or so until lunch.

The rest of them made their way outside to enjoy the nice weather during their break. Settling on their favorite spot by the lake, Lily and Alice reclined in the shade of the tree, while Frank, James, Remus, and Sirius sat by the lake and used their wands to cause stones to race across the lake.

"So, Dearborn seems like he's going to be good, yeah?" Frank said as he maneuvered his rock attempting to bypass Remus'.

"Seems like we finally have one who knows what they're doing," Remus concurred whilst urging his rock on.

"I was about ready to slap some Slytherins," Alice said waspishly.

"They were being downright rude," Lily said in agreement.

"Yes," said James with a big, exaggerated sigh.

"Putting me to sleep," Remus said, also mimicking the Slytherins with an overt yawn.

"Well, I think you're all being rather hard on them," said Sirius said with mock solemnity. "I mean look at it from their perspective. Why should they care about Defense _Against_ the Dark Arts? They are the Dark Arts."

"Well that's just it though, isn't it," Frank said nodding in agreement. "Today in class was all about sending an unmistakable 'fuck you' to Dumbledore, Dearborn, and everyone else on our side. They want everyone to know that they don't care about learning to defend themselves because they're going to be the ones doing the attacking."

"It worries me that they are being that bold," Lily said after a moment. "It's almost as if they don't have to worry with subtlety anymore because they think pretty soon they won't need to hide at all, they'll be able to be out in the open."

Late Wednesday night, long after curfew, Snape made his way to the designated location where he had told MacNair to meet him. He was dressed, not in his school robes, but in robes of all black, which at this late hour made him appear as if he were almost part of the shadows. He moved quickly and quietly, ears peeled for any sound of Filch or Mrs. Norris, but he did not expect any. He had managed, quite cleverly in his own opinion, to replace Filch's Gilly Water with one laced with a powerful sleeping draught. The caretaker would by now be resting quite deeply throughout the night, and as for the cat, well it wasn't as if she could do any harm without her master.

He stepped around the corner and found MacNair waiting for him, as he had instructed. MacNair did not look as though he was particularly enthusiastic about the meeting. For the remainder of summer his contact and senior Death Eater had been Bellatrix. MacNair liked Bellatrix. She understood his love for pain, she had shared her talents, had opened his eyes to new methods of cruelty. After working with her it was hard to not feel a bit of let down as he now had to take orders from Severus, a student like him and in MacNair's opinion hardly anything special.

"You will reach out to the gamekeeper, the half giant, full oaf, Hagrid." Snape said in quiet, but firm, voice.

"Why is Hagrid important? And why me? I'm not exactly known for my people skills."

"It is imperative that Hagrid not be in Hogsmede on the day of the first Hogsmede weekend. He might not be very good at magic, but his being half giant gives some advantages; mainly his thick skin is resistant to curses. The Dark Lord would prefer to avoid any such complications. And as for why this assignment should be given to you," Snape said his eyes roving MacNair's face, giving the impression of an art dealer's unforgiving appraisal of piece. "Hagrid's great love is magical creatures, particularly the monstrous variety. You are an expert at pretending to care for such things. Work up a close friendship with him now so that when you ask him to stay with you and help you with a creature to be provided, neither he nor anyone else will ever be suspicious."

"Fine, I'll get to work on Hagrid. But I have one more question. What good is removing one barely functioning adult when Hogsmede will be brimming with teachers that weekend?"

Snape did not answer, but merely smiled his most condescending smile at MacNair, and although MacNair had no idea how, he knew at that moment that Hagrid would not be the only faculty member absent from Hogsmede on that weekend in October.

A/N: The next chapter should be up soon. I think it's one you all will enjoy (or at least be excited about) as it involves the Head Boy and Head Girl discussing their past issues with one another and dealing with some misunderstandings. XOXO Acciolove


	44. Chapter 44

Thursday morning breakfast was well underway by the time owls flooded the Great Hall distributing the mail to the teachers and students of Hogwarts. Sirius, who did not traditionally receive mail as his parents had long since stopped sending him letters, was surprised to find not one, but three letters addressed to him.

"Popular today, Padfoot," James said with a wry smile.

"I'm popular every day, Prongs," Sirius answered cheekily.

"I wouldn't be so sure until you open those," Peter said with a rogue grin. "You never know, they could be from the girls who you've tried to give underwear too, compared notes and all decided to send them back."

"Those would be howlers," James said with a laugh.

"And I'm sad to say that there would probably be a great deal more of them," Remus said.

"You're all three just jealous, especially Wormy because he's never had the opportunity to offer a girl a pair of panties." Sirius began to snicker but his point was almost immediately undermined by the appearance of Regal Shacklebolt, one of the Chasers on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team.

"Hi, Peter," Regal said with a shy smile. "How are you? Did you have a good summer?"

"I'm pretty good. Summer was alright, glad to be back though with all my friends. How about you?"

"Good, I stayed with my brother for a week in London. He's an auror now, you know." She said proudly. She seemed ready to say more but several of her friends were now calling to her from down the table and so she said instead, "Well, I'll see you boys later. Remus, James, Sirius," she said with a nod for each boy.

After Regal had walked away Sirius sat for a moment looking completely dumbstruck. Peter, on the other hand, seemed to be sitting up a little straighter.

"What the bloody hell was that all about," Sirius said after a moment.

"I told you we had a good time at James' New Year's Eve party." Peter answered sheepishly, a little embarrassed and yet also happy to have earned the attention of a girl who seemed to prefer him to his enormously more talented and better looking three best friends.

"Right, you need to strike while the iron is hot," Sirius said immediately. "You need to ask her to go to Hogsmede or on some sort of date right away."

"Do you think?" Peter asked, turning to James and Remus.

"That depends," James said. "Do you like Regal?"

"What do you mean does he like Regal?" Sirius said indignantly. "Look at Regal, she's more than fair looking, and they're not exactly beating down the door to go out with him."

"Padfoot, hush before we muzzle you," Remus said with a stern look. "It's up to you, mate," he said, once again addressing Peter.

"I guess I will, I mean Regal's a fun girl, and Sirius is right, she is pretty."

"Great," James said, "now allow me to give you one piece of advice, Wormtail. Whatever you do, do not take any advice from Padfoot without running it by Moony or myself first," James said with a smirk in Sirius direction.

"And I can tell you right now," Remus said, "we will most strongly advise you against offering Regal, or any other girl, panties."

"Especially, Regal," James said, "Because as she pointed out, her brother is an auror." All four boys laughed and passed several minutes plotting how and when Peter should ask Regal out, before Remus pointed out that Sirius had yet to open his letters.

"Damn, I totally forgot about them, got so carried away in Wormtail's love life." He opened the first letter which was written in the large, uneven handwriting one often associates with small children. Sirius' eyebrows knitted themselves worriedly almost immediately.

"What's up, mate?" James asked concernedly. When he received no answer after a moment he leaned over slightly, positioning his face alongside Sirius' and began to read the letter as well, leaving both Remus and Peter, who was seated on the other side of the table to exchange looks and glare at the back of the letter, as if hoping it would give them some small clues until the time when Sirius would either hand the letter over to them or tell them what it contained.

Sirius noticed none of this, however, as his senses were completely absorbed by the parchment in front of him.

Master Sirius,

Dixie is hoping you will be able to read her handwriting. Master Alphard was teaching her so long ago and Dixie is never having to use it that she is never really practicing. Dixie is writing to young Master Sirius because Dixie is knowing that Sirius is the only member of Master's family that master likes. Dixie is wishing she did not have to tell Sirius what has happened but Dixie is knowing she must. This morning (Sirius noted that as the letter was dated with yesterday's date that the time Dixie was referring to was in fact 24 hours previous) Dixie is taking master Alphard his breakfast but Dixie is not being able to wake him up. Dixie is crying because she is knowing he is gone. Master had been not feeling his best for the past few days. He is working in his garden and is being bitten by Horklump. Dixie is telling him he is needing a Healer, but young Master Sirius knows Master is not liking Healers and is not trusting them. The bite is getting bigger and bigger each day but Master is still being stubborn. The Healers is telling Dixie it was infecting Master's blood and is causing him to die. Dixie is blaming herself and wishing Master had listened when Dixie is telling him to wear gloves in the garden.

Dixie is being alone now but is knowing that young Master Sirius is caring for her beloved Master too and that Dixie should be telling him. And so Dixie is writing this letter is hoping it finds young Master well.

Sirius read the letter through several times before handing it over to Remus and Peter and saying sadly, "My uncle, Alphard, is dead." He sat for a long moment, nodding occasionally as James, Remus, and Peter murmured condolences and words of comfort, before finally grabbing the next letter in the pile of three and ripping it open, perhaps a bit more savagely than he otherwise might have done.

"Bloody hell," said Sirius, "it's from the bleeding Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Some bloke named Fudge, he's the head of the council handling wills and estates. Bloody hell!" Sirius exclaimed once more, "My Uncle has left me his entire fortune a sum totaling upwards of a million galleons." Peter let out a low whistle. "Fudge says he doesn't usually write these notifications as he's just the head of the council and has other more important jobs in the Department," Sirius added slightly annoyed, "as if I care what he does."

"Dad's mentioned him before," James said quietly. "His name's Cornelius or something like that, thinks very highly of himself."

"Seems like a bit of a dolt," Sirius said before continuing, "anyway he goes on to say that he's taking the time to write to me personally," Sirius paused again to add, "I suppose he thinks I should send him some sort of reward for the privilege, because of the highly unusual manner in which my uncle has handled the matter of his house elf."

"What does the Ministry care about Dixie for?" Peter asked.

"He's left her the house and enough gold to care for her the rest of her life," Sirius said continuing to read. "But apparently there's some stupid law against House Elves owning property of their own, Fudge seems to be a bit annoyed because Uncle Aphard's found a way around that. He's left me the house and placed my name on the separate account for Dixie's gold at Gringotts in order to make sure they don't take it away from her. Fudge is informing me that should I wish to evict her from the house he thinks I would have a pretty easy case of it," Sirius paused again lowering the parchment in order to declare Fudge a complete and utter git. "But if I have no problem with then everything seems to be in order and I need only contact some man on the committee within 90 days with my account information at Gringotts and they will see that the money gets transferred into my name." Sirius sighed for a moment, it was all quite a lot to take in over breakfast and he was not quite sure what to make of it all.

"This last letter seems to be from the Ministry as well," Remus said glancing at the formal way the last envelope was addressed.

"You open it Moony," Sirius said, his head resting in his head. "I'm not sure I can stand to read another letter at the moment."

"It's from Crouch again," Remus said after opening the letter.

"What now?" Sirius said glancing up, "I hope he's not planning on become pen pals."

"He says a complication has arisen involving your inheritance, it seems your mother is arguing that it should be hers as she's his elder sister and he has no children of his own, something about that a good deal of that money was passed down from their parents and should rightfully revert back to her."

"Bitch," Sirius said vehemently. "Of course she remembers he's her brother now that there is gold to gotten. I suppose Kreacher will want the house, after all he's Dixie's older brother." Sirius snorted disdainfully at this last comment. He sat for a moment and then noticing that the Great Hall was starting to empty said, "you lot had better run, you don't want to be late for Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"What are you going to do?" James asked concernedly. "Will you have a funeral for your Uncle? We'll come of course, be there to support you."

"That's not necessary," Sirius said. "I know you guys are there for me, Uncle Alphard he wasn't big on ceremonies though. He always said he just wanted a nice quiet burial, he didn't really have friends who'd want to pay their respects, and he wouldn't want a big to do. No, we'll just bury him in his back yard in his garden, he loved that garden, and that way Dixie will be able to visit the grave easily enough. She'll want to see that it's properly cared for." The other three boys nodded in understanding, each one again saying words of encouragement for Sirius.

"When will you leave?" James asked after a moment.

"S'pose I'll go talk to McGonagall now, I think she's got a free period. Maybe she can help me make sense of all this as well or at least recommend someone who could," he said motioning to the two ministry letters. "I'll see you all at lunch and tell you what I've figured out." And all four boys made their way out of the Great Hall together, three of them heading off to Defense Against the Dark Arts and one making his way slowly through the castle he loved hoping it would provide answers to the many questions running through his head.

Sirius left immediately following lunch and was therefore absent during Double Transfiguration that afternoon. James made a big show of asking multiple questions of Professor McGonagall during her introduction into the subject of human transfiguration, claiming to want his notes to be extra detailed so Sirius could catch up. After all, it would be highly suspicious if Sirius missed the lesson on the basic magic and theory behind human transfiguration and was yet somehow better at it then the rest of the class in the coming class periods. It might make Professor McGonagall question exactly how much Sirius and James knew about human transfiguration, which could of course lead to her discovering that they were both unregistered animagi. He knew it was a leap, what they, along with Peter, had managed to do was unheard of for wizards of their age, and even if McGonagall was suspicious of their ease at accomplishing the magic so quickly it was highly unlikely that she would ever imagine how far they had actually gone, but James had to be careful. Becoming an unregistered animagus was after all against the law, and the punishment, far worse than a detention, would be a stint in Azkaban.

James smiled in greeting as he threw _The Daily Prophet_ he was reading to the side as Daphne entered the Head's Common Room.

"Remus and Peter told me about Sirius," Daphne said as she sat down next to James on the couch.

"I wish I could tell you more, but I'm afraid I haven't heard from him since he left at lunch time. I have no idea how he's handling it."

"I figured," Daphne said nodding. "But I really want to know is how you're handling it?"

"Me?" James asked, clearly confused. "I'm fine. I never even met his uncle."

"But you know Sirius," Daphne said. "He's your best friend and I know you worry about him."

"I should be there with him," James said. It felt good to say this thought aloud. "I should be there to help him through it, to keep him from doing anything stupid."

"You think he'll act out?" Daphne questioned uncertainly.

"Sirius doesn't do well with sadness or anger, and he most certainly doesn't do well alone. It makes him rash and unpredictable…yes," he added seeing the surprise on Daphne's face, "even more so than usual."

"James, listen to me, I know that you want to protect Sirius. He's almost more of a brother than a best friend. I remember when Remus and Sirius stopped talking to each other in fifth year for awhile, and you told me that Remus was angry because of a dangerous prank that Sirius attempted, one that could have led to someone getting killed. When I asked you what made Sirius back down and not do the prank, you told me he never did, that you had risked your own life to save the intended target. Not a lot of people would do that, and I think it was at that moment that I fell in love with you. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I know you would take a curse for Sirius, do anything to help him, but at the same time Sirius is his own person, you can't control what he does, and you are certainly not responsible for it. Now, I am sure that Sirius will be just fine and that he's not going to do anything to get himself into trouble, but if he does then you have to know that it's not your fault, Sirius is responsible for Sirius."

"I know, Daph, but Sirius has never been very good at being responsible for Sirius, and somebody has to be responsible for him. But," he said as he smiled at her again, "I'm glad that you came by to check on me and cheer me up."

"There's nowhere I would rather be," Daphne said. And she smiled as James kissed her softly on the forehead.

"Oh, sorry," Lily said as she stepped through the door into the common room, blushing furiously, her face turning almost the same color as her hair. "I didn't mean to interrupt; I just thought we had agreed to meet at 7 to work on the Prefect Schedules."

"We did," James said, standing up so quickly that he thought he was quite lucky not to get lightheaded.

"I was just leaving," Daphne said, rising and making her way over to the door with a quick nod to both Lily and James before exiting.

Daphne could not keep a smile from forming on her face as she made her way back to the Gryffindor common room; sure that James now realized that taking time apart was a mistake. He had kissed her! She realized, of course, that it had just been on the forehead, but surely that was just a precursor of things that would have come had Lily not interrupted them. She was sure that if she just made her way back to the common room all she would have to do is wait until James came to find her to tell her of his realization.

"I guess the break is over," Lily said, forcing a half smile on to her face as she made her way into the common room.

"Sorry? What break?" James asked confusedly.

"The break that you and Daphne have been taking," Lily said, and then upon seeing that James still looked confused she added, "Daphne said that you guys weren't broken up you was just taking some time apart."

"Oh," James said, realization dawning on his face. "No, we're definitely broken up, we have been since this summer."

"Oh," Lily said after a moment. "Well, you might want to make sure that Daphne knows that. Shall we get started on this?" She asked, gesturing to the blank schedule forms.

James hesitated for a moment before answering, "Are we ever going to talk about everything?"

Lily looked up, determinedly keeping her face blank. She had no desire to have that particular talk with James. How is one supposed to behave when discussing with the boy she likes how said boy broke her heart by making a stupid, selfish bet? She was not at all sure she could get through such a discussion with her grace and dignity intact. But at the same time since he brought it up, she could not exactly just dismiss the matter either. "I think we should make up these schedules," she said. James showed every sign of arguing, but she put up her hand to silence him and continued, "I'm not saying that we shouldn't talk about it. I'm just saying we should finish up these things first so that if after our talk we need some alone time we won't have to worry about the schedules."

James looked as though he was still not convinced that this was not merely a delay tactic but after a moment nodded his head in agreement and they worked quite companionably for another hour on the puzzle that was the Prefect schedules. But the riddle was solved soon enough and the talk could no longer be avoided. Each of them sat on the couch looking at each other for several long moments, neither quite sure where to begin. Lily was not sure she could bear much more of the tension and thought that quite like ripping off a Band-Aid it would be best if she got this dreaded conversation with over as quickly as possible.

"I know about the bet," she said quickly, not looking at James but instead focusing steadily on her hands in her lap. "I've known since last January and I won't pretend like I wasn't quite hurt and offended by it, but the past is the past and I'm willing to move forward. We've been assigned an important duty by Dumbledore and I'm not going to let our past issues cause any future issues in our ability to perform those duties." She took a deep breath upon finishing, unable to keep the shiver from running over her to finally have these words out in the open. She thought they sounded quite polished, considering her brain had been a chaotic disaster since the moment James suggested having this talk. She supposed that from the moment she discovered the bet a part of her had been waiting to say her peace about it.

James' eyebrows were furrowed. It was clear that Lily was quite relieved to have this load off her shoulders, and that she had wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible, but he had absolutely no idea what she was talking about.

"I thought we were talking about what happened between us last year and about how we didn't speak for months on end," James ventured nervously. "What bet are you talking about?" He recoiled at the venom in her eyes as she finally looked up into his face. Any nerves she had had were immediately replaced by burning anger, a look James was sorry to say he had seen in those gorgeous green eyes more times than he cared to recall.

"Don't fuck with me," Lily said angrily. "I've said I don't care anymore so stop lying to me. Just admit it! You and your stupid friends made some stupid bet that you could get stupid me to kiss you over the break. That's why you planted your stupid enchanted mistletoe and everything else." She was proud she had managed to keep tears out of her eyes, although replaying it in her head she thought she might have let her emotions run amuck with the multiple 'stupid' comments.

James' eyes widened in shock, he was not sure exactly what to say. He wanted to ask how she could get such a ridiculous idea, he wanted to be angry that she could think him capable of such a sleazy thing, but all of that would have to wait for him to clear his name.

"I never made any bet about you, or any other girl for that matter." Lily showed every sign of interrupting to declare her disbelief but he ignored her and continued, "I would never do anything that scummy or mean spirited. And maybe Sirius and Peter would have endorsed such a bet, but do you honestly think Remus would ever allow such a thing? He would have told you straight away. Furthermore, I'm not in the habit of making bets I don't think I can win, and given the fact that I'm batting 0-326 asking you out, I would have to be incredibly stupid and foolhardy to bet on any chance of you showing the slightest inclination of favor towards me." Personally, James thought he'd made quite a logical argument.

Lily was quiet for a moment before asking, "How do you explain the enchanted mistletoe?"

"Ah, well, that would be a question better addressed to Sirius, Remus, and Peter. If I had to guess I would say it was mainly Sirius, merely supported by the other two. They were waiting for me when I came back from," he hesitated a moment before continuing, "your flying lesson. I didn't tell them what we were doing, obviously. I mean you had sworn me to secrecy about not being able to fly, but I did tell them about the kiss." He noted that Lily looked slightly annoyed at this and so he added, "As if you didn't tell Alice" before continuing, "I also told them about our decision not to do pursue it, and I'm afraid that my best friends thought that maybe a helping prod from them might change our minds."

Lily was quiet for a very long time. A weight in her heart seemed to be lifting, but at the same time she was afraid. If James was telling the truth then maybe he did really have some feelings towards her, but even if that were the case wasn't this whole episode proof of how fraught with turmoil and heartache falling in love could be? She wasn't at all sure whether her heart could sustain her allowing herself to fall back into love with James Potter. But at the same time she wanted to believe him, and she did, because everything he had said made sense. And so before she could stop herself she nodded, a sign of acceptance of his story.

"Good, now that you believe me," James said, "can we discuss how you could ever possibly think I would do such a thing?"

"You're right," Lily said raising her eyes to look into James', "I'm sorry that I believed such a horrible thing of you. I should have just come right out and asked you about it, but given the nature of the accusation I think you can understand why it would be so embarrassing for me and why I never considered talking to you about it. I know that that doesn't really explain how I could think those things, but I can assure you that those thoughts gave me no joy."

"Where did you even get such a completely ludicrous idea?"

"Daphne told me."

"What?" James' voice was barely above a whisper, but there was more anger contained in it than Lily had ever heard.

"When Aidan told everyone why we broke up, well Daphne heard, and she came to me in the library and said that she hoped I hadn't broken up with Aidan because I wanted to be with you, because everything had been part of a bet you and Sirius had made before the holidays."

James heard Lily over the pounding of blood in his ears. "Excuse me," he said after a moment. "I need to go have a word with Daphne." Lily was quite sure she did not want to be Daphne, as the look on James' face, the anger in his eyes and in his voice, were quite enough to make Lily, who was no coward, quite intimidated. But as he made his way for the door something suddenly occurred to her.

"Wait a moment," Lily said. "You were mad at me as well, so what was it I had done that made you not talk to me for months on end?"

"Oh, well, er," James hesitated. He no longer seemed eager for this end of the conversation now that he had heard Lily's. "When we had the fight after the Quidditch match I didn't realize you were talking about the bet since I didn't know anything about the bet. I thought we were just talking about my staying with Daphne and I was mad because I thought that was what you had told me to do during our talk on New Year's Eve, but then it had seemed as if you were mad because it was just some sort of test that I had failed or something. I thought you were playing mind games with me." He waited for her to respond, and waited even longer as she seemed to replay the initial fight in her head seeing everything, making sense of everything now that she knew everything before finally speaking.

"You absolute hypocrite," Lily said halfway between genuine anger and amusement. "You mean to say you had the gall to make me feel absolutely terrible for thinking you capable of dirty tricks when all the while you thought I was guilty of the very same."

"Well when you put it that way it sounds downright awful," James said with a small smile. "I am sorry," he said looking up into her eyes.

"For which bit?" she questioned, this time with genuine amusement. "For thinking bad things about me or for making me feel awful for thinking bad things about you?"

"A little bit of both," he said with his trademark James Potter roguish grin.

They each sat in silence for a long time, waiting for the other to speak, unsure what they wanted to hear. Finally, after what seemed several eternities but in reality was no longer than a several awkward minutes, James spoke at last.

"So where does this leave us?" Lily attempted to keep a smile from forming on her face, but she was not altogether successful.

"I don't know," she answered truthfully. "It's a lot to take in. Everything that I thought I knew an hour ago no longer holds true, my perspectives are shifting and it's a bit hard to keep up."

"It does feel a bit as if the world has shifted on its axis, doesn't it?" James said.

"It certainly has made it obvious that neither of us knows the other as well as we thought we did," Lily said, sneaking a shy glance at James through her eyelashes.

"Yeah, I'd say that's a pretty fair assessment." James agreed, nodding his head. "We also clearly have no skills at communicating with each other."

"Clearly," Lily said with a small smile. "I guess we should attempt to rectify both those things before we make any decisions."

"Take things slow, actually become friends," James said, nodding his head in agreement.

"See where that leads us," Lily concluded.

They sat again, both relieved as though they had just cleared some invisible obstacle, but also quite unsure of what to do next. The unspoken hippogriff in the room was quite apparent to both of them. They both still had feelings for each other, and they had basically just acknowledged those feelings, and agreed to put said feelings on hold to get to know each other better. Implied by this agreement, which both of them were trying hard not to think of, was the fact that by holding back, getting to know each other better, they were in essence saying that they both thought they might have something in the future, and did not want to do anything that might jeopardize that.

"Well," Lily said standing, "I suppose one of us should take this schedule up to the owlery so that McGonagall will get first thing tomorrow and be able to send it to all the Prefects."

"I'll do it," James said also rising. "I need to have a word with Daphne."

Lily almost told him not to be too hard on her but stopped. If tonight had proven anything it was that the less she interfered with James and Daphne the better off they would all be.

Daphne sat at a table in the Gryffindor common room, her best friend Mary MacDonald by her side. She was clutching her lavender feathered quill that James had given her for Christmas as she attempted to finish her History of Magic essay for Professor Binns. The question she was supposed to be answering was "What do you think were the three most significant factors that led to the founding of the Ministry of Magic in 1700?" and while Daphne was quite sure of her answer that the goblin hunts, witch burnings, and finally the need to enforce the Statute of Secrecy signed in 1692 had led to the establishment of the Ministry of Magic, she was having quite a difficult time concentrating closely enough on the material to actually write an intelligible essay. She knew that she was driving Mary crazy with her constant pivoting every time someone entered the common room through the portrait hole, but she didn't care. She knew James would come for her; and finally a little after eight he made his way into the common room and over to the table where she was sitting with Mary.

"Can we go somewhere private and talk?" James asked as he reached Daphne.

"Of course," Daphne said, her face glowing with excitement. She could hardly contain her glee as she led him down the seventh floor corridor and into an empty classroom. "Will this do?"

James nodded his assent and paused for a moment, he took a deep breath, wishing to steady himself, he didn't want to yell, but he wasn't entirely sure he was going to be able to keep his cool either.

"Did you tell Lily that my kissing her over Christmas holidays last year was part of some sort of bet?"

The smile that had seemed to be permanently fixed on Daphne's face was wiped away as quickly as if she had performed a vanishing charm. The glow left her cheeks and her face paled considerably. But she continued to look him in the eye. "Yes."

"Why would you do that?" James asked, attempting still to remain calm.

"Why? WHY?" Daphne, on the other hand, was making no such attempt. "I returned from the holiday to discover that everyone and their muggle cousin knows that Lily stayed at your house, they are all speculating, accurately as it turns out, that the two of you had been fooling around. And I'd had enough. I was tired of being second place to her! I had already had to come to terms with the fact that the boy I lost my virginity with probably wished I had been Lily Evans, I'd laughed along with everyone else each and every time you asked her out, and then I realized I was in love with you. Then we started dating, and we were happy, we laughed all the time, we could barely keep our hands off each other, and I guess I was stupid enough to believe that you'd finally moved on from your little boy fantasy and had fallen for me as well. It ripped me to pieces to find out that I was wrong, that I was still second place to Lily Evans. And as mad as I was at you, I was furious with her. She was my friend, she knew how I felt about you, and she'd had five years to decide she liked you, but no she waited to make up her mind after you were already mine, and then she just reached out and took you back."

James was quiet for a moment, Daphne had certainly succeeded in reminding him that however angry he was at her at the moment, he was certainly not innocent of causing her pain. "But how could you let her think that I, or anyone else for that matter, would make a bet about her?"

"I don't take some sick pleasure in hurting Lily, if that's what you mean. I hated myself for hurting her, I could see the impact my words had on her, but at the same time, I was in pain too, and I guess I thought that she had been responsible for my heart breaking, it was only fair that I pay her back."

"But to lie to her," James began, but was immediately cut off by Daphne.

"Like you lied to me?"

"What? I never…"

"You told me you loved me!" Daphne yelled.

"Yeah, well that was before I knew all the stuff you'd done." James yelled back, finally losing his cool.

"Don't bullshit me, Potter; we both know you were still harboring some stupid left over feelings for Lily."

"So what? We both lied, then, our relationship was based on lies."

"It wasn't… what do you mean it 'was'," Daphne said her voice now barely above a whisper, her eyes narrowed.

"It's over Daph, we're over." She was completely still and completely quiet for a long moment, before the avalanche of emotion finally broke through and she ran at him. She was, magic quite forgotten, attempting to hit at him with everything she had, attempting to make him feel a tenth of the pain that was now spreading through her entire body. She only managed to make contact a couple of times before he managed to grab his wand and cast a shield charm, knocking her backwards. And there, sitting on the floor she began to sob.

"Fine then, go! I know you'll be back. You're a needy bastard and Lily Evans isn't some daft twit you can coax into giving you whatever you like. You've got another thing coming if you think for even a second that you'll get anything out of that virgin!" James made his way to the door, and only stopped casting his shield charm as he stepped out into the hallway. He heard through the door that Daphne had now completely collapsed into seemingly inconsolable sobs. He felt bad for hurting her so badly, but at the same time he knew that he could no longer go through the motions with Daphne, and any talk of breaks was just postponing the inevitable.

He turned at first to make his way back to the Heads' common room, but changed his mind a moment later and made his way back instead to the Gryffindor common room. He noted that Mary's welcoming smile faded to a frown when she realized that Daphne was not with him.

"We broke up," James said shortly. "She's in the empty classroom down the hall."

"Thanks," Mary said with as much animosity as she could garner, yet still sound slightly thankful that he had chosen to come and tell her thus enabling her to comfort her best friend, rather than making Daphne cry her heart out by herself. She rose immediately and without another word made her way to the portrait hole to find Daphne.

A/N: So as I write this it is midnight Wednesday July 12, 2011 meaning that in 48 hours it will be time for Deathly Hallows part II. I'm sure that each of you is as conflicted about this as I am, torn between excitement and also sadness that this is the last time we'll ever get to see a brand new Harry Potter movie. Now, it's like all we have left is our fan fiction, which as much I love it, let's face it is no substitute for the real thing. And so at this important moment I just wanted to stop and think about how much Harry means to me, and I know to all of you. I hope you enjoy the movie and I hope you continue to read and enjoy my story, and of course the fabulous works of literature that made all of this possible.


	45. Chapter 45

Lily paced the common room, on every turn glaring at the back of Bridget's portrait which continued to remain stubbornly empty. She was about to go crazy waiting for Bridget to announce that Alice was outside, waiting to be admitted. She had volunteered to take the prefect schedule to the owlery because it had been her intention to then go immediately to Alice, but James had taken the prefect schedule and then gone straight to Daphne. Lily thought about going directly to Alice but had decided against it, because she didn't want to run in to James or Daphne and make James think she was attempting to find out what was being said between them. She also briefly considered attempting to summon Leo, her owl, but thought that the bird would probably be so angry with her that he would refuse to deliver her letter to Alice. And so she tried a method of communication she had never actually used before: the talking patronus. She wasn't entirely sure how to do it, and it had therefore taken several tries before she got it right (or at least she hoped she'd gotten it right). She had sent it nearly ten minutes ago, although it seemed much longer to Lily, and she felt fit to burst when finally Bridget began to speak.

"I have a miss Ali…" Bridget began, before Lily cut her off excitedly.

"Yes, yes, send her in!" Lily bit back laughter as Alice came hurtling through the door. She had clearly opted for an early night to make up for the recent sleepless nights over her fight with Frank. Despite the fact that it was only 9:30, Alice was in her pajamas, and judging by her red face and shortness of breath she had run the entire way from Gryffindor tower to the Head's common room.

"Bloody hell, Lily," Alice exclaimed when she had finally caught her breath a moment later. "There I was, just starting to drift off to sleep when I see this bright light approaching the window. Just as I'm starting to get used to the fact that there's a patronus in the room, it speaks with your voice and says 'Alice, come as quick as you can.' So I jump out of bed, my first thought being that you're being murdered by Death Eaters or bludgeoned by trolls, but I figure you probably would have had a more direct message if that were the case like 'AHH Death Eaters!' or 'Damn Trolls!' although of course then I suppose I might just have thought you were pissed off at me. But anyway so I don't know what's going on and why you can't come get me so I charge down the stairs, knocking at least one person over, scaring the hell out of Remus and Peter who were just coming through the portrait hole, ran the whole way, and as my tank top strap slipped down as I was running, I'm fairly certain that a couple of third year boys nearly got flashed as I was running through the last corridor on my way here."

"I'm sorry Alice, but I had to talk to you, and I didn't want to risk you hearing anything from anyone else, because then I was fairly sure you might murder me."

"Who would I hear what from?"

"Daphne was lying about James, and James and I both basically admitted that we like each other, we just want to take things slow and become friends first." Alice was silent for a long moment before launching into another monologue.

"WHAT? Why are you just telling me this now? Why did you let me ramble on and on about getting here? We were wasting precious time that could have been used to discuss this! Where is Potter? Should we go upstairs? Or is he off telling Remus and Peter? If they knew before me or worse if Frank found out before me through them then I am going to be so annoyed that I slowed down to keep myself from flashing those third year boys."

Lily laughed out loud, she couldn't help it; her best friend was truly one of a kind.

"First of all, I know better than to interrupt you, and it seemed like you needed to get it all off your chest. Secondly, yes we should probably go up to my room, and I don't know if James has told Remus and Peter yet, he was going to have a talk with Daphne about everything."

"Good," Alice said as she followed Lily up the stairs into Lily's room. "I hope he puts the heat on her like a Hungarian Horntail."

"I hope he's not too hard on her," Lily said, glaring at Alice reproachfully. Alice was not mollified.

"Not too hard on her?" Alice questioned. "He can't be too hard on her. She lied, thus breaking your heart, damaging your self esteem, and all just to be a bitch."

"To be fair I did make out with her boyfriend."

"And instead of kicking his ass all the way to Hogsmede she took it out on you purely out of spite."

"Well, even so I don't want you attacking her about it. It's between her and James."

"Oh come on!" Alice said, throwing both her arms up in exasperation. "You are my best friend and she hurt you. No, not even just hurt, she intentionally wounded you! How can you expect me to just stand by and not even hex her for what she did?"

"I expect you to be the bigger person," Lily said.

"I hate being the bigger person," Alice pouted.

"Alice!"

"Fine, I promise." Alice said grudgingly.

* * *

James made his way back towards the Head's Common room about a half hour later, having just informed Remus and Peter about his and Lily's talk. He assumed that Lily had told Alice, or was in the process of telling Alice, as Remus and Peter had wasted no time informing James of almost being knocked over in the common room by Alice in her pajamas. He envied Lily that she was able to tell her best friend, he wished more than anything he could talk to Sirius right now, but Sirius had left his two-way mirror with Remus in case the Marauders had had need for it while he was away, and James knew Sirius needed time to deal with the loss of his uncle and should therefore not be bothered by James anyway.

He had just reached the portrait of Bridget Wenlock when he heard a voice call out for him. He turned, expecting to see either Remus or Peter, but was surprised to see Aidan MacMillan hurrying up to him.

"MacMillan?" James said, stopping half way inside the portrait hole. He thought he heard Bridget give a slightly annoyed sigh at just being left hanging open but he ignored her.

"I'm glad I caught you, I've never had to ask her," he nodded towards the back of Bridget's portrait, "for admittance before and I wasn't really sure if she'd let me in if it wasn't official business." James definitely thought he caught another affronted sniff from the portrait, but again he ignored it.

"Are you here to see Lily?" James asked, attempting but not altogether succeeding in keeping his voice light and casual.

"Both of you," Aidan said, ignoring the pointed look in James' eye as he had asked about Lily, almost as deftly as James had been ignoring Bridget.

"Oh, okay," James said, seemingly unsure if this was a good thing or a bad thing, but apparently deciding that he had no choice but to allow MacMillan to enter the common room with him as he motioned for MacMillan to follow him over the threshold.

Just as they made their way into the common room, they heard voices emerge from the upstairs bedroom which was Lily's, as she and Alice made their way down the stairs. Both girls stopped talking immediately upon sight of the two boys.

"Aidan!" Lily exclaimed in surprise.

"Potter, MacMillan," Alice said nodding to both boys in greeting.

"Why are you in your pajamas?" Aidan asked looking at Alice in surprise.

"They have sleepovers," James said with a rogue grin.

"I had stuff I needed to talk to her about," Lily said evasively, carefully not looking at James.

"You didn't have time to get dressed?" Aidan asked, shaking his head at the mystery that was the fairer sex.

"I thought she was getting attacked by trolls," Alice said with a quick grin at Lily who snorted with laughter. "When one thinks their best friend is getting attacked by trolls one doesn't think to put on proper attire."

Both boys looked from each other to both girls, seemingly unsure what to think about Alice's explanation. Deciding it was best to move on James spoke after a moment's hesitation.

"MacMillan said he needed to talk to us about something," he said addressing Lily.

"I'll be going then, let you all get down to your boring prefect stuff," Alice said, taking a step towards the portrait hole. But to the surprise of Alice, Lily, and James, Aidan stopped her.

"You can stay, Alice. It's nothing to do with prefect stuff. It's about Snape and MacNair." The atmosphere in the room shifted almost instantly, the tension now palpably thick. He made his way to one of the chairs and sat down, followed almost immediately by the other three.

"I don't want you to get too excited," he clarified. "I'm not really sure if this is of any importance at all, but it was something involving the two of them, and I thought that maybe if paired with something else that someone might see or hear, that maybe it might take on more meaning." All three teens nodded in understanding, and Aidan continued.

"I was in the library working on some homework. I don't think they could see me from the cue I was working in. At first it was just MacNair. He was kneeling on the floor in the middle of the Magical Creatures section. Of course, there's nothing odd about that, he spends a lot of his time looking up things in that section. But it was weird that he wasn't really looking at books, I glanced up at him from time to time, not really watching him, just arranging my thoughts for my homework, and I noticed he was just kneeling there, occasionally he would grab a book and just flip through it for a second and place it back. It was like he wasn't really looking at them or for anything in particular, like he was just killing time. I still didn't think a lot about it, but then Snape came up. He put a book on the shelf, said he'd found the book quite useful and then he just walked away. A minute later, MacNair grabbed up the book, without taking a peek inside and went to check it out at Madame Pince's desk." Aidan was quiet for a moment.

"You think there was a message or something in the book?" James asked, leaning forward in interest. Aidan nodded.

Alice was sitting, camp-fire style on one of the couches, looking confused, attempting to place Aidan's story in the context of what they already knew. James wore a similar look of confusion on his face, seemingly attempting to sift through what Aidan had just told them, attempting to find something that might point to what that note could have been about. Only Lily, seemed to be troubling over something, seemed to have already uncovered an element in the story that seemed out of place.

"Severus was in the Care of Magical Creatures section?"

"Yes," Aidan said. "Why? Is that important?"

"I don't know," Lily said, although it was clear the wheels of her mind were turning, coming to some conclusion unseen by the other three.

"Why would the section matter?" Alice said, asking the question for James and Aidan as well.

"Well, it's just that Severus doesn't take Care of Magical Creatures, so why would he be in that section, why would he be recommending a book from the subject at all."

"Probably because that's where MacNair was," James reasoned.

"I don't think so," Lily said. "I know Severus, and as much as he might think that no one would be able to figure out if he was up to something, he's always been overly cautious. He thinks things through, plans them out, step by step, its part of what makes him so great at potions. He once accidently let slip that he had watched Petunia and me for weeks, planning out how he would approach me to tell me I was a witch," the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them and her face turned bright red at the implications of such words. Both James and Aidan's eyes had darkened at this revelation, but Alice giggled slightly to herself and mumbled something to herself that sounded distinctly like the word "creeper" to Lily. Lily attempted to ignore all this and carried on.

"Well, anyway," she said, "the point is that he's methodical. He would leave nothing to chance. It would have been a lot simpler to have met up with MacNair in the Herbology section. They both take Herbology; in fact they're in the same group. No one would think anything of it. I think there was a reason for them to be in that section and I don't think that book was a random choice. Otherwise, why would MacNair check it out, he could have flipped through it, taken out the note, and left."

"Could you see what book it was?" James asked Aidan.

"Not the title, no. I think it must have had to do with dragons though; it had one on the cover. I noticed it because it kept blowing fire, and it caught my eye."

"What would Snape and/or You-Know-Who want with dragons?" Alice asked, speaking aloud the thought they were all thinking.

"Maybe he wants MacNair to do something with dragons? I mean everyone knows how good he is at Care of Magical Creatures." Aidan suggested.

"But what can you do with dragons?" Lily asked. "Surely he doesn't think that MacNair can train it, or turn it into some kind of weapon for him?"

"I'd hate to be MacNair if that were the case," James said. "Not much of a choice, either get burned to a crisp or get killed for not wanting to get burned to a crisp." They all nodded their agreement and were silent, each brooding on what possible use Voldemort could have for a dragon. After a few minutes, James spoke up again. "Maybe it's symbolic?"

"How so?" Lily asked looking up.

"Maybe the dragon stands for something, like a plan or something. Maybe there isn't a message in the book, maybe the book is the message."

"Like a way to tell him if a plan is on or off?" Aidan asked interestedly.

"Yeah, or even which plan they were choosing," James said nodding his head.

"A prearranged signal," Lily mused.

"It would make sense," Alice said, "have some sort of a system worked out that no one but them knew. That way even if someone saw them like Aidan did, even if they worked out it was a message, they wouldn't know what the message was."

"I hate this," Lily said. "I feel like we're three steps behind them and we don't even know enough to be able to tell anyone else who might be able to figure it out or stop them."

"I'm just afraid that by the time we figure it out it'll be too late." James said. And with that grim pronouncement the four teens said goodnight. Aidan walked Alice back to the Gryffindor Common room, as it was passed curfew and Aidan was a prefect, in order to keep Mr. Filtch from asking too many questions if Alice were caught.

* * *

When Alice arrived back in the common room, she grabbed Frank be the arm and pulled him away from his studies over to where Remus and Peter were sitting playing a game of Exploding Snap.

"What the hell, Alice," Frank said, rubbing his arm as if checking to make sure it was still in its socket.

"You're in a rush tonight," Remus noted, taking his eyes off the game, leading to the pop of an explosion when he did not catch a pair.

"Yeah, nearly mowed us down in your night things earlier," Peter said with a snigger as he reshuffled the deck.

"I had to talk to Lily," Alice said quickly, she had more important things to discuss with them.

"Yeah, we know," Remus said, nodding to Peter as well, "we talked to James."

"What happened," Frank questioned.

"I'll tell you later," Alice said before Remus or Peter could speak. "I have something I have to tell all three of you. No! Don't stop playing," she added quickly as Peter moved to put the cards away. "They'll ensure we won't be overheard." And then she told Frank, Remus, and Peter everything that Aidan had seen, and everything she, James, Lily, and Aidan had speculated on. All three boys asked questions, and soon wore the befuddled expression Alice was sure was on her own face as well. When Remus, Peter, and Frank could offer no new suggestions as to what it could be, all four teens made their way up to bed quietly, each mulling over possibilities of dragons and Voldemort.

* * *

Fire was everywhere. The dragon continued to send rushes of flame toward her, igniting everything. All she could see were flames and smoke. And all she could hear was the screaming.

Lily turned this way and that, desperately seeking a way through the inferno. She couldn't see the house but she knew that James, Sirius, and Mr. and Mrs. Potter were still somewhere inside. She could hear them. And she heard Alice. She had no idea where Alice was or why she was even in Godric's Hollow, but she knew it was Alice, and Lily knew she was in trouble. The only thing she could see was the dragon. It looked directly at her, but no matter how much she screamed and yelled at it, attempting to make it leave the Potter's house and Alice alone, it continued to shoot fire from its mouth, always careful never to hit her with the flames. She was trapped, no way to help her friends, no way to make it end.

And then she heard him, he was chuckling his low derisive laugh, as he emerged from behind the dragon.

"You!" Lily screamed as Severus Snape came to a stop in front of her.

"I told you before," he said in his quiet, low voice. "Only I can protect you."

"I don't want or need you to protect me," Lily screamed.

"You're a fool if you think Potter will be able to keep you safe. Only I can protect you," he repeated again.

"I don't need protecting!" Lily screamed again. She heard another scream, she knew in her heart it was James. He was being burned, she just knew it. She ran at Snape, not caring about the dragon or the danger or anything except that James was in pain, and each scream pierced her heart like a fatal stab wound. "You leave him alone! He's not a part of this! You leave him alone! Stop hurting him!" She drew her wand but before she could attack him he was gone and the fire had once again surrounded her.

* * *

James awoke in his room with a start. For a moment he was unsure of what had awoken him, and then he heard her again, Lily was screaming. He jumped from his bed, grabbing his wand off the bedside table and hurled down his stairs. He skidded to a stop at the foot of Lily's stairs. If he attempted to climb them they would turn into a slide, if someone was up there hurting her they would hear him coming. Lily screamed again. James had no choice he would have to risk it. He stepped up to the first step and then as the stairs began to shift he cast a freezing charm, he had no idea if it would work but it was the only thing he could think of.

The stairs froze half way between stairs and a slide. He ran headfirst up the stairs, coming to a stop at the door. He opened it slightly to peer inside, he had expected to see some scene of chaos, but everything was peaceful, with the exception of Lily. She was thrashing about in her bed, and as he watched her, she screamed yet again. He wasn't entirely sure what he should do, clearly she wasn't in danger, but something was clearly frightening her. He eased toward the bed and lightly, gently touched her shoulder.

"Evans," James said quietly. She jumped awake almost instantly and a second later had wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging herself to him tightly. She remained like that for a moment, as her breathing returned to normal, and then as her dream receded and her surroundings came into focus she pulled back from him sharply, grabbed her own wand and lit the candle tapers around the room bathing the room in a bright glow.

"Potter, why are you in my room?" She attempted to keep her voice stern, and not think about how nice it had felt to rest her head in the crook of his neck, pressing against his bare chest.

"I heard you screaming from my room and I thought you might be in trouble," James said only slightly abashed.

"Oh," Lily said, wishing her treacherous pale skin wasn't turning red with embarrassment, all the while knowing that it was. To shift his focus away from her she asked, "But how did you get into my room?"

"Well I thought you might be being attacked by Death Eaters, so I was a bit distraught. I cast a freezing charm on the stairs, I couldn't really believe that it worked, but it did." Lily jumped from the bed and made her way to the stairs, observing the work of the spell.

"Hmm," she observed, "interesting."

"So what was your dream about? Was I smothering you with your pillow?"

"Not hardly," Lily said rolling her eyes. "Still though, some Gryffindor I am, afraid of a dream."

"You're not a coward, Evans. As you love reminding me, you saved my ass in Hogsmede last year. A coward would never have come to find me."

"Great, so I'm just a nutter who isn't afraid of real danger but is terrified by a figment of my imagination."

"What was the dream about?"

"A dragon," she answered after a moment, looking him straight in the eye. "I couldn't see anything, but I knew that you, Sirius, Alice, and your parents were somewhere in the fire. I kept trying to get through the fire to save you guys, but I couldn't. And the dragon it just kept blowing fire, but it never hurt me. I was just trapped unable to help anyone, unable to die." She left out the part about Snape, as she had no wish to discuss Snape's views on her feelings for Potter, especially with Potter.

"Your dream proves you're not a coward, Evans," James said with a smile. "You weren't afraid of the danger, you were afraid of not being able to help."

"But I was still afraid," she protested.

"That's what makes you brave. I used to think that being brave meant not ever being afraid, just charging headfirst into danger without a second thought, but after the attack on you, and then Benjy Fenwick, and finally on my parents, I realized that not being afraid just means that your stupid and reckless. Being brave is recognizing the danger, being afraid, but doing something anyway, conquering the fear." She watched him for a moment, thinking.

"When did you get so smart, Potter?"

"I've always been smart, Evans. It's just that you are only noticing it now." They both looked at each other for a long moment before subsiding with giggles. It was several minutes before they were composed enough for James to rise from the bed, wink at Lily, reverse the freezing charm, and slide down the stairs.

* * *

At breakfast the next morning Lily's stomach was in knots as her eyes kept stealing over to the empty seat beside Mary. Daphne was not at breakfast, and Alice had already informed Lily that Daphne had never returned to the dorm room last night.

Mary had been rather vague on details with Alice, but had confirmed that Daphne was in the Hospital Wing and was unwell. Under normal circumstances, Mary would have been bursting to talk to Alice, or Lily, and share her concerns for her friend, but no matter how much she liked Alice and Lily, she was not about to discuss her best friend's current condition with the girl who had caused it and her best friend.

"Do you think she really is ill?" Lily asked Alice concernedly as they made their way out of the Great Hall a few minutes later, Lily having given up on the attempt to eat breakfast when her stomach felt like it was filled with pixies, and Alice refusing to allow her best friend to feel any guilt for Daphne's heartbreak.

"No," Alice said immediately. "I think she's pouting." She paused at the reproving look on Lily's face, but continued, "I don't doubt that Daphne loved James and that she's probably really upset right now, but that doesn't make any of this your fault, and you certainly have no reason to feel bad for her. She's the reason your heart has been broken into pieces for the last year."

"Exactly," Lily exclaimed. "I know exactly how she feels and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, especially not someone who we both consider to be a friend."

"And was she considering you a friend when she stomped on your heart?"

"I don't know, Alice. I just hate this whole, entire situation."

"I know, Lil," Alice said giving her friend a hug. "Deep down I feel bad for Daphne too, but my chief concern right now is you. You are my best friend and you were hurt very badly and at a time when you really couldn't afford to be hurt. Maybe you're able to be all rational and sympathetic right now, but I'm still in mama hippogriff protection mode, and all I can think about is making sure your okay and wanting to rip anyone who hurts you to shreds."

"Please don't rip Daphne to shreds," Lily said with an exaggerated glare at Alice that dissolved almost instantly into a smile. "I think it might impact whether or not the Aurors decide to let you join up. Besides I'd rather not have to visit you in Azkaban, the dementors have always given me the creeps."

"Yes, well I agree that they are certainly creep-tastic, but maybe as a child you should have been focused more on the creepiness of the boy telling you about dementors rather than the dementors themselves," Alice said with a mischievous grin.

"Shut up," Lily said with a squeal, playfully whacking her best friend on her arm. "You are such a bitch, why do I love you?"

"Because I'm so sexy," Alice said with as she and Lily dissolved into giggles once more.

* * *

Daphne was not in Ancient Runes that morning and Lily collected her work for her. She wasn't sure if she should be the one to give it to her, but collected it all the same, remembering with some guilt that Daphne had done the same for her when she was away following the death of her parents.

It was that thought, and the accompanying guilt, that made her decision for her: she would have to talk to Daphne.

* * *

Walden MacNair made his way down to the gamekeeper's hut during lunch. He paused at the doorway, taking a deep breath, and then knocked on the door. He heard from within a great commotion and then the door swung open rather roughly.

"Who are you then? Wha' can I do fer yeh?" said the gruff, but still friendly, voice of the gigantic gamekeeper of Hogwarts, Rubeus Hagrid.

"My name is Walden," said MacNair, "Walden MacNair. Professor Kettleburn says that you're the one who trained the school's thestrals, and that you've an interest in dragons as well?"

"I migh', what's it matter to yeh?" Hagrid asked suspiciously.

"Oh, I should have said," MacNair said delicately, "I love Care of Magical Creatures; it's my favorite subject by far. I'm hoping to make a career out of it. And well I find thestrals, and especially dragons, extremely interesting. I really don't think it's fair that we're not permitted by the ministry to study dragons in person while we're in school, they just don't understand about the beauty of dragons." MacNair managed to keep a sincere look on his face though he meant none of what he was saying. His interest in animals was not about respect, but domination.

"Yer the first person besides meself I've ever heard talking 'bout how beautiful they are," Hagrid said and his voice cracked slightly with emotion. "Come in, come in, I was jus' 'bout to make a cup a tea." This time the smile on MacNair's face was genuine. He had thought that it might take weeks of hanging around in order to gain the gamekeeper's trust, but it seemed that Snape had been right. Hagrid was so desperate for someone, anyone, to share his love of dragons, his fanaticism for dangerous creatures, that he would welcome anyone without a second thought who he felt he shared this bond with.

* * *

Lily made her way up to the Hospital Wing and hesitated for a brief moment. She needed to talk to Daphne, but she was fairly certain that Daphne would not want to talk to her. Would Madame Pomfrey even allow her to visit with Daphne? Well, Lily reasoned, she needed to talk to Madame Pomfrey anyway and if Daphne wouldn't speak to her here she would just have to wait and try and come up with some other place and time she might be able to corner her.

Lily pushed open the door and made her way to Madame Pomfrey's office.

"Excuse me, Madame Pomfrey, I'm sorry to bother you but could I speak with you for a moment?"

"Of course, Miss Evans, what can I do for the Head Girl today?"

"I wanted to talk to you about why you about emergency medicine."

"What sort of emergency medicine?" the matron inquired.

"Well, you see," Lily began feeling it was probably better to explain herself and her intentions fully. "I'm not really sure what I'd like to be once I'm done with school. Professor Slughorn wants me to apply for my Master of Potions certification, and Professor Flitwick wants me to do something with experimental charms, but all my friends, and to be honest me as well, want to fight. I've been told by Frank Longbottom's mum, Healer Longbottom, that I have a bit of knack for healing charms and potions, and maybe one day I'll think about becoming a healer, but what I really want right now is to able to help my friends. I want to know how to keep someone alive until they can receive actual treatment; I want to protect the people I love. And I was hoping that as you're a mediwizard, well versed in emergency medicine you could help me."

The matron looked Lily over for several moments, and Lily thought she saw a trace of sadness flicker through the older woman's eyes.

"More than anything else, I wish it were not necessary for young people like you and your friends to have any need for the knowledge of which you speak. Emergency medicine, triage medicine, battlefield medicine are things I wish you never have to use. But you speak the truth, these are dangerous times in which we are living, and I'm afraid it will be your generation who will be on the frontlines. So yes, Miss Evans, I will help you. First and foremost, in a few days time I will send you by owl a list of useful potions that you should keep on hand in case of injuries. We will start from there."

"Thank you, Madame Pomfrey," Lily said. "I was also hoping I could see Daphne Brown for a few moments, we're in Ancient Runes together, so I have her homework and notes for her." Lily felt slightly ashamed for lying to the woman who had just agreed to help her, but knew it was the only way she would be allowed in to speak to Daphne.

"Very well, only a few minutes though. I hope to release Miss Brown later this afternoon, so I want her to be well rested."

Lily took a deep breath as she pushed open the curtain surrounding Daphne's bed, a part of her wishing Daphne would be asleep, thus granting Lily a temporary reprieve. But any hope she had was in vain, Daphne was awake and turned her head toward her visitor as she heard the curtains part. The two girls looked at one another for a long moment, neither one saying a word. And then, never one for silence, Daphne spoke.

"I suppose you've come to yell at me," she said. "I can't really blame you; I'd yell at me too. But if you don't mind I'd rather you wait until I get out of here, I'm not sure I can take much more at the moment."

"I haven't come to yell at you, Daphne." Daphne looked up in surprise.

"Really, why not?" she asked. She wished she were not interested, she wished she could turn her back on Lily and not have to face her, the reason for her broken heart, but in spite of herself she was curious as to why Lily did not seem to be angry with her.

"I made out with your boyfriend," Lily said as if her reasoning should be obvious. "I'm not saying that I condone what you did, but who am I to say that what you did to me was any worse than what I did to you? We both hurt the other, and we both did something wrong."

"Merlin, I hate you," Daphne said with a wry movement of her lips that was somewhere between a small smile and a grimace. "This would be so much easier if I could hate you, could make you a villain, but I can't. You're my friend, even if half the time we're each too strong willed and stubborn to get along. And even know, as much as I wish I could blame you for taking him away from me, I can't, because let's be honest even though it kills me to admit it, he was never mine." Lily stepped forward and sat down on the edge of Daphne's bed. What Daphne had said about their friendship was true, they had been at odds many times throughout their six years at Hogwarts, they were each vibrant girls, who were not always very flexible in their feelings about things, and it had led to numerous confrontations.

"We've always been too much alike to be able to be the best of friends," Lily agreed after a moment. Both girls knew though that it wasn't their shared personality traits that would forever separate them know, it was their shared love of a boy.

"I am sorry," Daphne said after a moment. "I hated myself for lying to you. I could see it in your eyes that you believed me. I could see the pain it caused you, and I almost told you then and there that it was a lie. But I was scared to lose him, and I was in so much pain that I made excuses for what I had done, that you had hurt me so you deserved to feel some of my pain."

"I'm sorry too," Lily said as she squeezed Daphne's hand. "I never should have gone to the Potter's house for Christmas."

"No, you shouldn't have had to be alone on your first Christmas without your parents," said Daphne fervently. "I never begrudged you that."

"Maybe not," Lily said quietly, "but I should never have gone to the Potter's. I told myself at the time that I was mainly going for Mrs. Potter, and because I didn't want to be alone, but deep down I knew I wasn't over James. I knew that if I stayed there for Christmas my feelings for him would probably resurface, but I went anyway. I went, knowing I had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend. Maybe, deep down, I wanted something to happen, wanted it to be like it had been over the summer."

"It wouldn't have made a difference, not in the long run. I knew deep down that he was still in love with you, as much as I tried to ignore it. I'm pretty pathetic, huh? Loving guy, staying with him, when I knew that I would always be second best to you, I would know that he settled with me." She attempted to wipe the tears that were now overflowing from her eyes away, but they were falling to quickly now.

"Daphne, you are an amazing person. Do you have any idea how many people want to be like you? You're the most popular girl in all of Hogwarts! You're a star athlete, you're beautiful, and I know that one day you are going to find a boy who wakes up every morning and thinks 'I am the luckiest bloke alive because I'm with Daphne Brown'. Anything less is less than you deserve."

"What scares me," Daphne said after a long pause, "is that he's my soul mate, but I'm not his." Lily pulled Daphne into a hug, as the other girl cried on her shoulder. Lily knew that it had cost Daphne a great deal to admit the possibility that Lily, not Daphne, might be the one for James, and for that she was grateful.

* * *

James sat in the window seat that was usually reserved for Lily looking out the window. He noted with a smile that it was only a week into the school year and he already considered to seat to be Lily's. But she was not here at the moment, in fact she had disappeared right after the end of classes that afternoon and he had not seen her since, although he would not have been at all surprised to see her emerge through the portrait hole clutching a stack of books from an afternoon spent in the library at any moment. He looked back out the window, willing an owl to appear. It had been two days since he had spoken to Sirius, and James couldn't help but feel on edge waiting to hear from his best friend, sure that everything would only be alright once they were reunited.

He rose when he heard Lily enter through the portrait hole, but was slightly surprised to see that she had no books, or any other objects that might indicate where she had been. Apparently he was not the only one scrutinizing the other because after a moment she spoke, and he wondered how she could know what was bothering him.

"Have you heard from Sirius?"

"No, nothing, not since Wednesday."

"You're worried," she stated, it was not a question.

"He doesn't do well on his own," James said in reply.

"No, I would imagine not," Lily said as she motioned for James to return to his seat in the window, before sitting down beside him. "I figured that he wasn't someone who did well alone, how else could he have been able to guess that I was such a wreck last summer." James smiled as he imagined, not for the first time, the scene of Sirius practically kidnapping Lily for a day. "He'll be okay," she said as she squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"How do you know?" he asked earnestly, searching for the answer in her eyes.

"Because he has you," she said. "You're sitting here worrying about him, and no matter what you'll be there for him. It makes all the difference in the world, having someone who cares about you. I don't know what I would have done those first couple weeks without my parents if it wasn't for Alice," she confided. "It'll take time, Sirius will need some time to wrap his head around everything, to even know how he feels, but when he's ready, I have no doubt that you and Remus and Peter will be there for him, and that's why I know he'll be just fine."

"Thank you," James said as they sat there quietly together, still absent-mindedly holding each other's hand, "it helps to talk about it. To hear you say that it's all going to be alright, it means the world to me."

"It's what friends are for," Lily said with a smile, before the both subsided into nervous, embarrassed laughter, both well aware that they were at the same time, not yet friends but somehow already so much more.

* * *

A/N: So we had bad wind storms and I lost power for several days on end and as a result could not write. And then I psyched myself out and kept trying to recreate all the thoughts that had been occurring to me while I was sitting bored in the dark hence the delay. Several of the scenes from this chapter were ones that I have had in my mind almost from the beginning, chief among them Lily and Daphne's talk in the hospital wing. It changed locations more times than I care to remember, but the conversation itself has remained almost entirely how I had originally imagined it. I hope it shows that Lily and Daphne could never have been best friends, they are far too much alike, but they also could never truly hate one another, even if sometimes that would have been easier.

As for Alice's reaction to everything with Daphne, I am sure that I am not the only girl out there who knows this simple fact of life: most girls are more protective of their best friend's heart than they are of their own. You can forgive the person who breaks your heart, but not the person who break's you best friend. I dedicate this chapter to my best friend even though she will never read it because Harry Potter is one of the few passions we don't share, for all the times we've cried on each other's shoulders over the boys who broke our heart, and for every other day she has helped to impact my life.


	46. Chapter 46

A/N: I apologize for the obscenely long wait. I have been crazy busy with apps for grad school, student teaching stuff, thesis stuff continuing, etc… oh and of course exploring the beta of Pottermore (don't hate me for bragging just a little bit). I can't promise that there won't be more horrendous delays because I'm at that crazy point in life that is my senior year of college and I have so many responsibilities that unfortunately have to come first that I'm lucky sometimes if I get 15-20 minutes of writing time per week, but I promise that I am continuing to write and that even if it's a month or two in between each chapter I'm still writing. I adore this story and I love each and every one of you who has stuck with it and I promise that we've got a lot more to cover. As you can probably tell by this chapter things are getting darker, and perhaps that's why my writing is getting slower. SPOILER ALERT for the coming chapters to whet your appetite… I have to write the death of a character I really like as the whole Snape-Death Eater plot comes to a head (see past chapters and Voldemort's thoughts for hints as to what this might be) Enjoy!

* * *

Saturday morning found James, Remus, and Peter lounging in the shade by the lake, taking advantage of the fact that most students were either still in bed or at breakfast, reviewing their various thoughts and theories on Snape and MacNair. None of them knew any new way of examining the topic and thus they soon were reduced to going around in circles, hoping something said would illuminate the truth.

After breakfast they were joined by Lily, Alice, and Frank, and several minutes later by Regal Shacklebolt, who sat shyly next to Peter, Hestia Jones, Augustus Pye, Dirk Cresswell, and Dirk's fellow sixth year Gryffindor prefect, Harper Robbins. The others were grateful for the newcomers as their presence necessitated a change in topic. Soon, the boys, with occasional input from Regal and Hestia, were engaged in a lively discussion over this year's Quidditch house teams and whether Gryffindor was likely to repeat as winners of the House Cup. For their part, Lily, Alice, and Harper spent the time perusing the latest articles in _Witch Weekly_ and _Wonder Witch_ magazines. Lily noted with a smile that they were not the only one's bored with the Quidditch talk, however, as after a few minutes of listening to the banter, Remus pulled out his copy of _The Daily Prophet _and began to work on the crossword puzzle. Lily remembered that Remus had once confided in her on one of their prefect patrols that while he enjoyed watching the sport, he found the in depth analysis of the game to be tiring and rather boring.

Regal and Hestia sat and talked mostly to each other, occasionally making this point or that in the ongoing discussion about Quidditch, with Regal being especially attentive to any points made by Peter, but did not interact with the other girls. It wasn't that they didn't like them, on the contrary Regal and Hestia had always enjoyed being included by the older girls due to their connection to James and Sirius because of Quidditch. And Regal especially had always really admired Lily, and was grateful for the guidance over the years that Lily had given her, which Regal knew had probably played a major role in her becoming a Prefect. But Daphne was a combination of an older sister and mother to both of them. As the only other girl on the Quidditch team, the two naturally shy girls had flocked to the outgoing and self confident older girl, and she had taken them both under her wing. It had been Daphne that Hestia had gone too late one night last year when the then twelve year old had started her monthly periods and had been more than a little disoriented. It had been Daphne who had sat up with Regal as she anxiously awaited an owl from Kingsley every single time he returned from an assignment to let her know he was safe. And it had been Daphne who they had both laughingly, nervously, confided in regarding their feelings about boys, questions about sex, opinions about clothes, and everything else that teenage girls always wonder about. They liked Lily, they really did, and they knew that what had happened between James and Daphne was not Lily's fault, but at the same time Daphne was Daphne, and they owed her enough loyalty to not immediately be all chummy with the girl who everyone assumed would soon be dating Daphne's ex-boyfriend.

Lily, who knew how close both girls were to Daphne, did not push the matter and had already decided to give them both space, and allow them to come to her if they needed her. Alice, who also knew how close both girls were to Daphne, was not as understanding, and was continuously shooting glares at both girls. Lily found it quite hypocritical that Alice was allowed to be protective and loyal to Lily but that Alice felt no one was allowed to be protective and loyal to Daphne, which she mentioned to Alice under her breath, but Alice would hear none of it and continued to look slightly disgruntled, which amused Lily to no end.

It was around lunchtime when the group was interrupted.

"Have you all lost all sense of decency without me?" said the voice of Sirius Black. James jumped up immediately and ran to hug his best friend, followed closely by both Remus and Peter. "I mean look at the lot of you!" Sirius continued in his usual dramatic fashion. "Peter sitting next to Regal," Sirius said placing his hand over his heart, "well at least one of the three of you still has nerve, and I never would have thought it would have been Wormy. As for you two," he said turning his glare to James and Remus, "Moony you are sitting surrounded by several beautiful women," he said with nods towards Lily, Alice, Harper, and Hestia, which raised both Lily and Alice's eyebrows as Hestia was only thirteen compared to the marauders all being seventeen, "and you sit doing a crossword puzzle. Disgusting," Sirius said shaking his head in mock contempt. "And most disappointing of them all," Sirius said with a rogue grin, "Prongs, why are there a total of," Sirius mimed counting heads, "four people sitting between yourself and a certain lovely redhead? Hmmm? It is clear that you have all lost your way without me for guidance."

"Oh yes," James said sardonically, while grinning ear to ear at having his best friend back, "what would Remus and I do without you advising us to give women underwear out of your spare panty collection."

"Whoa, WHAT?" Lily and Alice both shrieked at the same time, causing Frank, Remus, Peter, James, and Regal and Hestia to laugh, as they all knew about Sirius' legendary spare panty collection, as the marauders had retold that particular story to Frank, and James had laughingly told the rest of the Quidditch team.

"You disgust me, Sirius," Lily said as she attempted to control her laughter, as both Alice and Harper had already collapsed into giggles on the ground next to her.

"Always a pleasure, love," Sirius said with a wink at Lily.

* * *

"So did you get everything worked out while you were away?" James asked as he and Sirius walked around the lake. Remus had gone to the kitchens to get a mid–afternoon snack and Peter had gone with him. The rest of the group had dispersed with Regal and Hestia setting off to meet Daphne for some extra practice on the Quidditch Pitch, as Hestia wanted to break in her new broom, and Alice, Lily, and Frank had set off for the library to begin work on homework.

"Mostly," Sirius said. He was glad to have some time just he and James, he had missed his best friend these past few days. "We buried Uncle Alphard in his garden, he loved it out there, and that way Dixie can visit him. I stayed there a couple days with her to make sure she was alright and then I went to your parent's house. Your dad went with me to meet with the lawyer McGonagall had recommended, your dad knows him from the ministry, because I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up with all the legal mumbo jumbo. I've asked your dad to act as my representative in the matter so I don't have to keep leaving school to have to fool with it. He'll keep me posted, but I'm not too worried about it, at least not about the money. Obviously, I don't want mother to get his house because then Dixie would have nowhere to go, but I don't really care about the money."

"What will you do if you get the money?" James asked, attempting to keep his face neutral. Sirius stopped and smiled, he knew his best friend too well not to know what he was thinking.

"You're scared I'll leave you behind? You should know by now that I'm like Herpes, once you get Sirius there's no cure." James snorted with laughter at this comparison and made a mental note to remember to tell Remus that piece of Sirius Black wisdom, "Will I probably use it to get my own place? Well yeah, probably, unless you were planning on paying my share too if we get our own place after Hogwarts," Sirius continued. At that, James hugged his best friend, he realized now that he'd been worried for no reason that of course Sirius wasn't just going to disappear and James would never see him again, but it felt good to have his best friend back at his side once more.

"So, now," Sirius said, "what exactly is going on between you and the lovely Miss Evans?"

* * *

Bertram Aubrey sat in the Slytherin common room examining the letter he had just received. The letter was from an unidentified student who was interested in purchasing some poisonous candles that he had bought over the summer while working in Knockturn Alley. He had had this little side business since last Christmas and it had earned him quite a bit of extra cash which was always nice. He didn't know the name of the student who wished to meet with him, but that was not uncommon, most of his buyers did not want to risk their name's being found in connection with illicit goods. He jotted down the meeting place and time on a different piece of parchment and sent the owl off with his reply.

* * *

Barty Crouch Jr. read the letter quickly and then burned it. There could be no record of this meeting ever occurring, particularly if things went badly. He felt a tingle of anticipation in his stomach at that thought, and he hoped for a moment that things would go badly. He was powerful, he knew that. More powerful than his pathetic excuse for a father, more powerful than his teachers and the rest of the students, and he often tired of having to pretend to just be a regular gifted student. He wanted to flex his magic, use his full ability to get what he wanted, but that would be foolish if things went well, an unnecessary risk, so secretly he hoped things went badly.

* * *

That night, somewhere around 8:30, Barty Crouch waited on the outer edge of the Forbidden Forrest. He heard the sound of someone approaching, but he did not budge from his hiding place. He waited until he saw Aubrey appear before emerging.

"Do you have them?" Crouch asked curtly. Aubrey observed him for a moment critically before nodding his head in the affirmative.

"Yes, but for you the price is double."

"Why?" Crouch said, taking a step forward in anger.

"Your father is the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement," Bertram Aubrey said as if that much should be obvious. "I can't risk you trying to get in Daddy's good graces by turning me in. No, if you want them, you're paying double, think of it as an insurance polic…" but he never finished that sentence. Barty Crouch had struck.

"Ligare Funibus!" Crouch said quickly, causing ropes to fly from his wand and wrap themselves around Aubrey's neck. His face grew red at first and then slowly deepened to a purplish, blue, bruised color as oxygen was cut off from his lungs. Finally, after several long moments, his struggle to pry the rope from his neck ceased, and he fell to the ground, dead. Crouch grinned, he had been itching to try out that spell since he had created it over the summer. It was quite effective, and unlike the _Avada Kedavra_ could not be traced by the Ministry of Magic. Being the son of the Minister of Magical Law Enforcement did have some benefits at least, and knowing what sorts of spells were detectable was one of them. He pocketed the candles into the pocket of his robes, and then transfigured the body of Bertram Aubrey into a stone, and flung it deep into the forest so that even he would not know where it had landed.

* * *

Behind a tree, Severus Snape smiled. It was a shame that Bertram Aubrey had to die. Snape had liked the Slytherin sixth year and thought it a bit extreme, if not sociopathic, that Crouch had killed him so mercilessly in order to avoid paying a steeper price, but none of that really mattered. All that did matter was that Snape had been right in his appraisal of Crouch, he was dark and twisted beneath his quiet and intelligent exterior. He was tired of being second best to his father, and those years of indignation had given way to hatred. And now, Snape knew one of his secrets. And so now, the Dark Lord would know one of his secrets. And Snape knew at that moment that sooner or later, Barty Crouch would become a Death Eater.

* * *

The Head's Common Room was alight in spite of the late hour. Lily was absorbed in a book, and James had just returned from the weekly game of poker played by James, Remus, Peter, Sirius, and Frank the first Saturday of every month, a tradition that had developed after James and Sirius had learned poker from some of the muggle boys in Godric's Hollow several years previously and had then taught their roommates. The monthly poker night had been Frank's idea during their fourth year, a night for them to relax and have fun just the five of them.

"Who won?" Lily said glancing up from her book.

"Sirius, as always," James said with a smile, plopping down on the couch next to her.

"Why am I not surprised?" Lily said with a laugh as she put her book to the side.

"He gets us all distracted with his wild stories and tales and then we all get to wrapped up to remember that our own hands our shit and fold."

"You'd think after three years, you'd be less vulnerable to his strategy."

"I'm convinced he cheats," James said.

"Or the rest of you are just piss poor at playing poker," Lily suggested.

"I s'pose that's a possibility as well," James conceded.

"Care to see if you can beat me," Lily said with a grin. She was feeling mischievous, and felt like having a little fun. She failed to mention that her parents' and their friends had held frequent card parties during which poker, bridge, and all manner of other games had been played, and that Lily as a result was adept at poker, but she saw no reason why James needed to know that.

"Excellent," James said with excitement as he summoned a stack of playing cards from his room. "Now I believe that muggles have a version of the game in which the loser removes an article of clothing," James began, before being swatted over the head by Lily.

"As much as I'm sure you'd enjoy getting your kit off, my eyes still haven't quite recovered from the last time I saw you naked," Lily said with a giggle.

"I can be quite stunning it is true," James said, "and how do you know it'd be me getting my kit off and not you?"

"Because, I intend to win, obviously" Lily said with an exaggerated eye roll.

"Is that so?" said James and with that he began to deal and the game began, without any items of clothing being removed. Lily beat James easily the first couple hands, but once he realized that she was no novice and began to play at his best they were more evenly matched, even if Lily still had a slight advantage. They willed away several more hours laughing and playing cards, before switching later to a perhaps overly enthusiastic game of Exploding Snap using a deck of Exploding Snap cards that Lily had in her room.

It was almost three in the morning when they had each finally decided to make their way up to bed when Bridgette's voice sounded in the Common Room.

"The Head Master needs to see you both immediately. You are to come together, and not leave each other unattended until you reach the Head Master's office where you will be given further instructions."

James and Lily stared into each other's eyes. They both knew this was bad. If Dumbledore was summoning them in the middle of the night, something terrible must have happened. They each grabbed their robes, putting them back on over their weekend clothes, kept their wands out, and made their way out into the corridor.

* * *

"Ah, Mr. Potter, Miss Evans," Professor Dumbledore spoke as James and Lily entered the Head Master's study. The Head's of Houses were also present, as were the gamekeeper, Hagrid, and the caretaker, Mr. Filch. He waited for them to take their seats, before addressing the room as a whole. "I am sorry to call you from your beds at this late hour, but I am afraid we have a situation. About thirty minutes ago, Professor Slughorn brought to my office a sixth year Slytherin student who was concerned that his friend and classmate Bertram Aubrey on had not returned to his dormitory. The young man assured both me and Professor Slughorn that this was most unusual, and upon further questioning by Professor Slughorn of the rest of Mr. Aubrey's close friends we have ascertained that no one has seen him since dinner. Therefore, I have called you all together because I believe it is necessary that we organize a search of the castle and the grounds, in order to find Mr. Aubrey and ensure that nothing serious has happened to him.

"Horace, please do a thorough search of the Dungeons," Professor Dumbledore said, appraising Slughorn over his half-mooned spectacles.

"Of course, Head Master," Professor Slughorn said with a great having breath which made Lily wonder if the potion's master had run the entire way to the Head Master's office from the dungeons, or if merely the excitement of being awoken in the middle of the night had caused him to be short of breath.

"Hagrid," Professor Dumbledore said, turning to the gamekeeper, "If you will search the forest, and if possible ask the centaurs if they will consent to help, or at the very least keep us apprised of any suspicious behavior or anything that seems out of place."

"Yes, Professor Dumbledore, sir."

"Pomona," he said, now addressing Professor Sprout, "If you will please search the Greenhouses and the rest of the grounds," he waited for her nod of affirmation before moving on. "Minerva, I'll need you to search the fifth, sixth, and seventh floors, as well as the Astronomy Tower; and then Filius you will need to search the third and fourth floors, as well as the Clock Tower. Mr. Filch, I'll need you to search the first and second floors for Mr. Aubrey. Now, Mr. Potter and Miss Evans, I need to the two of you to patrol the corridors while the faculty searches for Mr. Aubrey, report any and all suspicious behavior you may see to the nearest adult, and stick together. Everyone report back here once you've finished. Mr. Potter and Miss Evans check in with me every hour to keep me apprised of the situation."

* * *

"What do you reckon?" James asked Lily as soon as they separated themselves from the dispersing teachers, which was made slightly more difficult by the fact that Filch seemed unwilling to accept that James Potter had a reason to be out of bed after hours and kept sending him angry glances, and had followed James and Lily longer than was, in James' opinion, strictly necessary.

"I don't know," Lily said. "It's certainly odd, and I think Dumbledore is really concerned, but," she hesitated seeming suddenly unsure, or unwilling to voice her next thought.

"It's weird that it's a Slytherin?" James guessed correctly, mostly because he had been thinking the same thing.

"Yes, as terrible as that sounds. I don't know the boy, though, Bertram Aubrey. Do you?"

"Briefly," James said, but Lily noticed the quick flash of a grin before his face returned once more to the somber, alertness required by the situation. She continued to look at him, her eyebrow quirked in a question, and after a moment the truth spilled from his lips.

"A couple of years ago, Sirius and I got into a confrontation with him, and we each used a different hex and apparently when combined they cause your head to swell to twice the normal size."

"Unbelievable," Lily said, shaking her head.

"McGonagall was so mad at us," James said, shaking his head at the memory of that particular encounter with their Head of Household. "Aubrey thought we'd done it on purpose, and it took Madame Pomfrey awhile to reduce the swelling because she didn't know what curse had been used. McGonagall thought we were being purposefully unhelpful, it took us forever to convince her that we didn't know how we'd done it either."

"And yet you're Head Boy," Lily said in half indignation, half amusement.

"I thought Dumbledore was pranking me when I got my letter," James said.

"I'm still not entirely convinced he's not." To James replied with a quick grin.

"Do you think I should check in there," James said, nodding toward the boy's restroom.

"I guess so," Lily said. James hesitated at the door. He wanted to have a moment to contact Sirius, Remus, and Peter in order to have them check the Marauder's Map and attempt to locate Aubrey, but he also didn't want to leave Lily alone in a potentially dangerous situation. She seemed to understand his hesitancy.

"Potter, you've been on the receiving end of my wand enough times to know that I know how to defend myself," she said with a wave of her hand, motioning for him to get on with checking.

"Right, well, I'll only be a minute," James said before ducking through the door and immediately whipping out his two-way mirror and calling for Sirius.

* * *

"Blimey, what is it Prongs?" Sirius said with a yawn as he pulled the two-way mirror towards him in the darkened dormitory. He heard Remus, Peter, and Frank also stirring, but after seeing the familiar sight of Sirius speaking to James through the mirror, Frank turned back over and after a moment began to breath heavily again as he drifted back off to sleep. Remus and Peter did not initially get up, after all it was not unheard for James to contact them in the middle of the night, but did not go back to sleep either, but merely waited to hear what James would tell Sirius.

"Listen, carefully," James said instantly, "I don't have much time, I can't leave Evans alone." Sirius would normally have commented on that statement but having heard the anxiety in James' tone, Remus had come to stand by Sirius' bed to also be able to see James in the mirror and had silenced Sirius with a sharp jab of the elbow. "A student's gone missing."

"Who?" Remus asked immediately, slipping at once into Prefect mode.

"Bertram Aubrey," James answered.

"Bet he wishes his head was still twice as large, it'd make him easier to find," Sirius said, which earned a laugh from Peter and a slap on the back of the head from Remus.

"Dumbledore's really worried, he's got the teachers all looking for him, and he's even got Hagrid searching the forest."

"What do you need?" Remus asked, and now both Sirius and Peter were also serious, with Peter also having risen, as if to demonstrate his willingness to depart immediately if necessary.

"Check the map; hopefully, with most people in bed, it won't be too hard to spot someone who is not where he's supposed to be. I'll check back in as soon as I can."

"Should we go get him when we find him, in case he's hurt?" Sirius asked.

"No," James said, and his voice was firm. "Something's definitely up, I don't like it. And besides with all the teachers looking for a student out of bed, I doubt even with the map you'd be able to get to him before you got caught."

* * *

"You, okay?" James asked as he emerged from the restroom a moment or two later. Lily nodded and they continued their patrol of the corridors. After finishing the first floor they made their way up to the second. As they rounded a corner, Lily paused.

"Don't you think you should check in with Sirius and the others on your mirror?"

"What?" James said, clearly taken aback.

"I heard you talking, figured you were using your two-way mirror with Sirius."

"Er…right," James said, still not entirely sure what to say, or how he would even begin to explain the Marauder's Map, but then he recognized that she wasn't asking him too. She knew that somehow he and his friends had a way to do something, and he knew she probably suspected that it had not been devised for heroic moments, but she wasn't interrogating him, she wasn't censuring him.

"You'd better go in there again," she said motioning to a boy's restroom on the second floor, "in case Filch comes along."

"Right," James said again, still far too flabbergasted to say much more.

"What do you mean no sign of him?" James asked incredulously.

"We've searched the whole map, mate,"Sirius said," and we can't find hide or tail of him."

"How is that even possible?"

"It isn't," Peter said, "not unless he's left the grounds."

"Or deeper in the forest," Remus said, his face barely visible as all three boys huddled around the mirror in order to be heard, "the map only covers the edges of the forest, the part still technically on the grounds."

"You said Dumbledore's got Hagrid searching the forest?" Peter asked.

"Yeah, but the forest's huge, he could be anywhere," James said.

"I can go try and hound him out," Sirius suggested. But both James and Remus immediately said no.

"Right, well I've got to get back to Evans, we're supposed to check in with Dumbledore soon, take it in shifts watching the map; maybe he's left on his own accord and is coming back."

* * *

"So they didn't find him using ways I don't want to know about?" Lily asked as James emerged once again.

"No, he's not on the grounds."

"And your methods are fool-proof?"

"They've never failed us yet," James said with a quick smile.

"I think it this mysterious object or whatever it is, is how you always managed to find me last year?"

"It might have something to do with it," James said with a sheepish grin.

"Unbelievable," Lily said rolling her eyes, before once again returning to the matter at hand. "If he's not on the grounds then where could he be?"

"I don't know, it's possible he's in the forest, or I suppose Hogsmede, but I suppose he could be anywhere, especially if he can disapparate."

"You can't, not inside the grounds," Lily said.

"I mean if he left the grounds first," James elaborated.

"But then the question remains of did he leave of his own volition, or because someone made him?"

"And if he was forced, who did the forcing?" James added, completing Lily's own thoughts.

"James," she said suddenly which caught his attention. It was only very rarely that they ever used one another's first name, "would your, whatever it is, show him if he's been killed, if it's just his body there." James thought for a moment before answering.

"I don't know," he said truthfully, "we've never had cause to find out. What are you thinking?"

"What if he found out about whatever's going on?"

"You mean with Snape?" James questioned. She nodded, she did not like the idea that her former best friend might be behind the murder of a fellow student, but the thought had been plaguing her all evening. "He certainly would be capable of it," James said bracingly, "but I don't know. Whatever he's up to, he's being really cautious, I think he'd have other ways of keeping someone quiet if he needed to, he wouldn't want to risk a disappearance causing any heightened awareness that might bring attention to him and whatever he's up too."

Lily nodded, she seemed to regain a little color at this, and James realized that even after everything that had happened, it still unsettled her to think of what Snape might be capable of doing.


	47. Chapter 47

The next day there was still no sign of Bertram Aubrey. James and Lily were each functioning on slightly more than three hours of sleep, and were mainly relying on the pepper-up potion Lily had brewed for each of them that morning to remain on their feet. They had just completed another search of the grounds and were now on their way to Dumbledore's office where they would be meeting with Dumbledore, Professors McGonagall and Slughorn, and the parents of Bertram Aubrey.

"I can't imagine what they must be going through," Lily said as they walked through the entrance hall and made their way up the spiral staircase, "especially his mother."

"Dumbledore will explain to them that we're doing everything we can, that every effort is being undertaken to find him," James said reasonably.

"I don't know how it could ever be enough," Lily said. "He's her son, every instinct she has is to protect him, and now she has no idea where he is or even how to protect him, it must be terrible."

"It's not her fault, it all comes back to Voldemort; he's the one causing all of this pain."

"Knowing that won't bring him back," Lily said, sorrow in her eyes.

"No, it won't," James agreed. They stood looking at each other for a long moment, and each repressed a shudder. Had Lily taken Divination she might have paid more attention to the feeling of foreboding, the feeling of something looming just beyond her current understanding, but she never had taken Divination, and even if she had, she probably wouldn't have thought anymore about it anyway.

A moment later they had reached Dumbledore's office and mentally preparing themselves for whatever awaited them on the other side of the door knocked before entering.

"Ah—Lily, James," Professor Dumbledore said in greeting, conjuring up two more chairs and motioning for them to be seated. "Davina, Anson," Dumbledore said, now addressing Bertram's mother and father, may I present Hogwarts' Head Boy and Head Girl, James Potter and Lily Evans, they are both assisting in the search for your son and the investigation into his disappearance."

Davina Aubrey nodded slightly but gave no other sign that she had heard what Dumbledore had said; she sat by her husband's side, quiet as a mouse, seemingly unable to comprehend anything happening around her. Her husband, in stark contrast, a lawyer by profession for the Ministry of Magic, was looking for someone, anyone to blame for what had befallen his family.

"James Potter?" He questioned, looking from James to Dumbledore. "Am I to understand, Dumbledore, that one of the two students you have investigating my son's disappearance has a history of violence against my son? He enlarged his head to twice its normal size! Why aren't you investigating him and that Sirius Black!" James had the good sense to bow his head as if in remorse for his actions, although Lily swore she saw the tiniest hint of a smile attempting to appear on his face. Professor McGonagall stepped forward, as if to say something in James' defense but there was no need, Lily had already spoken up.

"Neither James nor Sirius could have anything to do with what's happened to Bertram," Lily said. "They were both in our common room last night, along with the other Gryffindor boys, playing cards. I was there the entire time and neither of them ever left."

"Ah, well, there you have it," Professor Slughorn said jovially, attempting to calm Anson Aubrey down, "Mr. Potter and Mr. Black both have alibis."

"I suppose I am supposed to take the word of the mudblood as proof positive?" Both James and Professor McGonagall made sounds of outrage, with Professor McGonagall going as far as to slam her foot in evident anger, and James, Lily saw, reached for his wand, and was only prevented from pulling it out by Dumbledore's entering the conversation once more. He had remained seating, and appeared quite as calm as ever, but his eyes burned with fury as he spoke.

"Anson, I quite understand that you are distressed by the situation. I cannot imagine what it is you must be feeling at this moment. However, I cannot allow you to fling insults and accusations at my Head Boy and Head Girl. I trust both Mr. Potter and Miss Evans with my life, and with the safety of this school and everyone in it. I can assure you that they are both doing everything within their power to help find your son. Now, please calm yourself, and sit back down so that we may all discuss rationally the steps being taken to find Bertram." Mr. Aubrey did so, but James thought it evident that he disliked being told by anyone, even Dumbledore, what to do, and was sure he would see fit to interrupt Dumbledore many more times before the briefing was concluded.

"Thanks for that," James said as they made their way back down the spiral staircase leading from Dumbledore's office.

"It's not a big deal," Lily said dismissively.

"Yes, it is," James disagreed. "You lied to two professors, Dumbledore, and Aubrey's parents and gave me and Sirius alibis for the entire night."

"I didn't so much lie as just embellish the truth," Lily said, using a phrase the Marauders had often used in attempts to wiggle their way out of trouble, often times to Lily's great annoyance. James laughed at her use of the phrase now. "You and Sirius did have alibis," she continued, "I just shortened the story." That was of course not all she had done, she had protected James and Sirius, giving them both a much stronger alibi than would have been possible had she told the truth, as Remus and Peter, and to a lesser degree Frank would all have fallen under suspicion of covering for the other two boys. Lily's history of policing James and Sirius made her testimony almost above reproach.

"Thank you," James said again, this time looking her directly in the eyes.

"You're welcome," she said with a small smile. "So," Lily said after a moment, "that went well." They both burst out laughing a second later because of course it had gone terribly.

"Dumbledore should've thrown that bastard right out of Hogwarts for what he said," James said, his face reddening again at the injustice.

"His son is missing, he's distraught."

"Doesn't make him any less of a bastard," James said quickly. "McGonagall thought so too," he added with a smile. "She almost hexed him right then."

"I expect she has the clout to possibly get away with it unlike you," Lily said turning her gaze once again to James, "I know _you_ thought about hexing him."

"It did cross my mind."

"And you would've gotten yourself chucked straight into Azkaban for attacking a Ministry official."

"It would've earned me some serious hero points though, right?" he asked cheekily.

"Perhaps," she said with a smile, "I'm not sure how much good that'll do you in Azkaban though, I don't imagine that the Dementors are big fans of heroes."

"I wouldn't have to stay for long. The way our current not so just, justice system is set up, with my last name I'd be out in no time, my parents could just pay a fine," he said with a dark humored laugh, because they both knew or suspected that that was exactly what was keeping people like Bellatrix Black and Lucius Malfoy out of Azkaban at the moment.

"They might not pay though," Lily said a moment later. "After all, Sirius is their favorite."

"That is what he's constantly telling us," James agreed with a laugh.

By Monday morning there had still been no sign of Bertram Aubrey, and people inside and outside of Hogwarts were beginning to fear the worst. An abundance of owls arrived at breakfast that morning, letters from concerned parents begging their children to be careful, not take any risks, and to stick close to their friends or siblings.

For their part, James and Lily spent breakfast Monday morning briefing the Prefects on new steps that were to be implemented to increase security in and around the castle. First and Second years would no longer be permitted to wander around the grounds during their breaks, and would instead be given time each evening to be outside supervised by two of their house prefects. The Head Boy and Head Girl would still do the night time patrols of the corridors over the weekend, but now the prefects, who had previously had the weekends off, would patrol the grounds and corridors in shifts throughout the day.

To James and Lily's surprise even the Slytherins did not grumble about the increased patrols and thus the increase in the amount of work expected of them, but both supposed that their cooperation had a lot to do with the fact that the missing student was a Slytherin.

As the prefects gathered up their belongings and began to wander off in pairs or in small groups to their first classes, Lily noticed that the fifth year Slytherin prefect, Gentry Baddock, seemed to be purposefully dawdling, unless she just happened to be having a really bad day as she had already dropped her books twice, telling her fellow fifth year Everett Warrington to go on without her. Lily mentioned this under her breath to James and Remus who was standing talking to James before heading off to Care of Magical Creatures, and with a quick nod Remus departed, in order to allow Gentry to approach James and Lily if that was indeed her intent.

It took her several minutes to finally approach them and Lily wondered how many times she had changed her mind about talking to them. She appraised them both with a look of mild to moderate disgust on her face, and Lily was again reminded of her sister examining a spot of dirt.

"If I tell you something," she said quickly and quietly, making it necessary for both James and Lily to strain to hear her, "can it be confidential? I don't want anyone, not even Dumbledore, to know the information came from me." Lily hesitated. What type of information could Gentry have about Bertram Aubrey and why hadn't she come forward before now? Or did the information she was about to give them have nothing to do with Bertram and perhaps they were about to receive another piece of information regarding Snape's plans. While Lily hesitated, thoughts whirling through her head, James did not.

"Anything you tell us will be in confidence. We'll tell Dumbledore the information but not who gave it to us, you have my word." She nodded, but still hesitated for another moment.

"I don't know if it's important, but you should know that Bertram would smuggle in various items he'd purchased in Knockturn Alley and sell them to students. I thought maybe his disappearance could be linked to that, like maybe a sale gone bad, or something."

"Do you know who any of his customers were?" Lily asked. "Did he just sell to fellow Slytherins or anyone who had the money?"

"I don't know, I never bought any of his merchandise, but everyone in Slytherin knows he could pretty much get his hands on whatever someone wanted. Whether or not anyone outside the house knew about it, I don't know."

"Thank you," James said, and Lily too nodded her thanks.

"Well, whaddya reckon?" James said as they sat in a deserted classroom, the contents of Bertram Aubrey's possessions surrounding them.

"I wish we'd waited a couple of days to tell Dumbledore about what Gentry told us, that way we could have slept first."

"I can't imagine life without the pepper-up potion anymore," James concurred. It was just after eight o'clock and James and Lily had just finished cataloguing all of Aubrey's possessions. They had gone immediately to Dumbledore with the information given to them by Gentry Baddock and had been told by Dumbledore to follow up with him after they finished their classes. Dumbledore had then contacted Mr. and Mrs. Aubrey, who were staying in Hogsmede while the search for their son continued. Predictably, James and Lily had learned later, Mr. Aubrey had been furious about any insinuation of wrong doing on the part of his son and had categorically refused to grant the school permission to search Bertram's possessions. However, Mrs. Aubrey had been quite insistent and had overruled her husband. She did not care what misdeeds of her son's might be uncovered; she just wanted to find him.

And so it was that two batches of pepper-up potion later, James and Lily found themselves analyzing every aspect of Bertram Aubrey's life through his possessions, attempting to uncover any clue to his whereabouts. But Bertram had been incredibly careful about his illicit activities. While they found several dark objects, there was no merchandise list, and no customer list. He either kept those documents on him at all times, or preferred to commit them to memory rather than risk someone finding them. Either way, there was nothing to point to who or what might have reason to hurt him.

It was a relief that following the 72 hour mandatory waiting period the auror office would be taking over the investigation the following morning, thus relieving James and Lily of their roles as detectives, as well as students, Head Boy and Head Girl, and their many other roles.

"I'll take this stuff back up to Dumbledore so he can give it to the aurors in the morning," James said. "You can head on back to the common room."

"Are you sure?" Lily asked. It was a mark of how tired she was that she didn't object to handing over complete responsibility to James.

"Go on," James said nodding, "I'll just take these and then be right behind you."

James made his way slowly back toward the common room. He felt like his feet were made of lead, each step he took, each moment that the pepper-up potion became less potent, he felt like he might collapse from exhaustion. He expected the common room to be deserted as he made his way through the portrait hole, and was therefore surprise to see Lily on the couch…fast asleep. From the way she was sitting James thought she must have been attempting to wait and make sure he got back safely, but had instead, free of the effects of the pepper-up potion, crashed.

He surveyed his options. He could try and wake her, although he doubted he would be able to. The pepper-up potion didn't reduce the body's need for sleep, it merely forestalled the time before your body shut down without it. Once its affects wore off, your body had to make up for all the sleep it had lost. He supposed he could also just leave here there on the couch, although that wouldn't be very comfortable and she was likely to wake up very sore. He could also attempt to put her in her bed, but he wasn't sure he'd be able to freeze the stairs and hold her at the same time. The only solution was therefore to take her to his bed. A small voice inside his head noted that that was probably not the only solution, and that James might just be jumping ahead of himself just to have her in his bed, even if that meant that he, being the boy his mother raised him to be, would not be sleeping in it with her.

He eased her gently into his arms, and as he had suspected, she stirred only slightly but showed no sign of waking. He carried her slowly up the stairs, hoping very much that his pepper-up potion didn't wear off until he had her safely on his bed, otherwise they both might wind up with broken necks. She sighed softly as he lowered her on to his bed, and for a moment he couldn't help but marvel at how beautiful she was, and the depths of his feelings for her, the feelings that, try as he might to escape them, had never once wavered.

He turned and surveyed his room for a moment. Assessing his options once again, he waved his wand and transfigured his desk chair into a plush mattress. He then summoned blankets from his closet and pillows from the common room and sunk down onto his makeshift bed hoping to fall into a deep sleep like the one that Lily was currently enjoying.

However, as tired and exhausted as he was, having Lily sleeping so close to him, in his bed, was acting as an affective a stimulant as the pepper-up potion had been. It would seem that in order to get sleep, he would be requiring a very cold shower.

He eased off the mattress slowly, and hoped very much that Lily would not wake up despite the fact that she was so clearly down for the count. He didn't want to have to explain his current compromising position. He moved quickly and quietly into the bathroom and started the cool water. He paused for a moment and considered. He remembered quite vividly what had happened the last time he had attempted to get into a shower with Lily in the near vicinity. He opened the door slightly grabbed his wand, and then after closing the door once again, he placed a locking charm on the door in order to prevent a repeat of previous events.

After he had finished with his shower he made his way back to the mattress on the floor. His body felt exhausted but he still seemed unable to turn off his mind. It was jumping from Lily to the disappearance of Aubrey to everything in between. He tried to focus on the steady rhythm of Lily's breathing and on nothing else, in the hope that it would lull him to sleep, but still nothing seemed to work.

He was unaware of exactly how much time had passed when he noticed a change in Lily's breathing pattern. She seemed to be breathing much heavier than before, a thought which might have necessitated another cold shower if moments later she hadn't spoken in her sleep.

"Severus…Don't…Stop." James felt his stomach drop, she was dreaming about Snape. He was standing without being conscious of having moved. He wasn't sure what he planned on doing, but whatever his plans had been they were effectively stalled when Lily sat up in a panic a moment later.

She had gasped upon waking from her dream, and after a moment of taking in her strange surroundings she pulled the cover up over herself and peaked out as if attempting to assess her situation.

"You're in my room," James said, causing Lily to jump, startled. Her eyes had not apparently adjusted enough for her to be aware of his presence.

"Why?" She asked and he noted that she surreptitiously checked to ensure she was wearing clothes.

"You fell asleep on the couch. I didn't want you to have to sleep there but I couldn't wake you up, so I brought up here."

"Oh," Lily said, and James thought he could see her blush even in the dark. "Thanks, I appreciate it. You could have put me on the floor though," she said nodding towards the makeshift bed at his feet. "There was no need for you to give up your bed."

"Believe me, I wouldn't have had I known you were going to have a sex dream about Snape in my bed." It had slipped out before he could stop it, probably as a result of sleep deprivation but he wasn't entirely sorry.

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked.

"Severus, don't stop," James repeated, only in a breathy, clearly meant to be sex driven, voice. This time Lily blanched. She knew now what dream she must have had again, which must have been bad enough again to wake her up. She tried to gather her thoughts enough to throw out some witty reply, but her exhaustion, paired with the realization about her dream and the memory of the real event, was too much for her. Instead, she broke down in tears, something she rarely did and could not believe she was allowing to happen in front of James Potter. She was furious with herself.

James watched her for a moment. He was angry, but even so he hated seeing her cry. He sat down beside her on the bed and awkwardly attempted to pat her on the back.

"Don't cry, Lily." He said in what he hoped was a soothing voice. "I mean, I know I would cry if _I _had a sex dream about Snape," and as that image appeared in his head causing him to make a face, he added, "actually, I'd pitch myself off the astronomy tower in order to get rid of the image." Lily laughed. She wiped the tears out of her eyes with the back of her hand.

"I've never told anyone about what happened," she said, looking him in the eyes, "not even Alice."

James wanted to tell her to stop that he didn't want to, couldn't, hear about her and Snape. But she was clearly upset, and wanted to share something with him that she had not even told her best friend. So he merely nodded and tried to keep his face neutral.

"The day you found out about the attack on your parents, I was poisoned."

"I remember," James said. He doubted that he would ever forget that day. He was surprised about the beginning of this story, but made no attempt to interrupt.

"I was in a state of semi-consciousness. I was aware of what was happening but I couldn't comprehend it. Then everything went dark. I heard Alice explaining to me that I had been poisoned but that I was going to be okay. She told me that the poison had caused temporary paralysis and that Madame Pomfrey had given me something to keep me sedated until it wore off. She told me not to be afraid.

"The next thing I remember after that is waking up. But it was all wrong. It was dark outside and I still couldn't move. Or more precisely, I could move my head, but nothing below my neck. In that moment I was certain that I was permanently paralyzed, they just hadn't wanted to tell me the truth until I was out of the woods. I think it was that same moment that I realized I wasn't alone. I could feel his eyes on me even though I couldn't see him. I knew it was Severus." She paused for a moment and James felt her shudder. He opened his mouth to speak, but she continued, and he realized that she needed to get the entire story out at once, because any other way would be too difficult, it would be impossible.

"Then he was there, next to me. He was looking down at me, and I think it was at that moment that I realized I was completely at his mercy." She paused for another moment and then broke into tears once more.

James pulled her into his arms and attempted to calm her. After several moments he pulled back and after wiping a tear off her cheek he asked, "Lily, what did that bastard do to you?"

"Nothing," she said after a long pause. "At least nothing compared to what he could have done. He taunted me. He kissed all over my face and my hair. I tried to scream for help, but my voice it only came out as a whisper. He didn't rape me, but the knowledge that he could have made me feel almost as violated. I was too ashamed to tell anyone. I hated feeling like any sort of victim, and I couldn't stand the idea of anyone else seeing me like that. I still wake up in a cold sweat because of it. It's always the same dream. He's just looking at me with his cold, black eyes, and I know he's about to hurt me but I can't stop him." She looked on the verge of tears again but this time she managed to keep them from spilling over.

"Of all the people to tell," she said, "you were the person I couldn't bear to have see me as a victim, as weak."

"I don't see you like that," he said.

"You don't?"

"No. When I look at you I see a girl who ran headfirst into danger just to save my life. I see a girl who is unfailingly kind and who always sees the good in everyone. I see a girl who I knew was special the moment I set eyes on her on the Hogwarts' Express. I see Lily Evans."

She blushed the color of her hair and after a long moment finally spoke, "thank you."

"I wish I could have been there to protect you, to save you."

"You're saving me right now," she said. And then she kissed him.

He kissed her back. He had intended for it to be short, sweet, romantic kiss, but somehow that wasn't what happened. She was kissing him, really kissing him, and before he was aware of moving his hands, they were lost in her hair.

And then he was kissing her neck and her breath was coming in short, soft gasps that were driving him crazy. And then she was running her hands over his bare chest, and he had kissed his way down to her collarbone. Then she laid back down and pulled him with her, his weight settling on top of her.

He knew he should stop this before things got out of hand. He knew that he had to be the responsible one; after all he was the one with experience. She had never done anything more than kiss a boy, it was natural that she should get carried away by the feelings and sensations. He, on the other hand, had no such excuse. He should stop this. But damn it, the way she was kissing him, touching him, made thinking impossible. He knew he should stop it, but he wasn't at all sure that he could. All he was aware of was the feel of her mouth, her tongue, her hands, her everything. He heard her moan softly, and as she shifted slightly he felt himself sink between her legs. Their pelvises met. They both gasped, and began kissing all the more feverishly.

His brain felt disconnected from the rest of his body. His mind was telling him to stop, but the rest of him paid no attention. As they were kissing, one of his hands landed softly atop her chest. He hadn't intentionally meant for it to happen, but his body was acting of its own accord now.

"Yes," she whispered in his ear. That was all the encouragement he needed.

Lily was in euphoria. She was lost in a maze of feelings and pleasure and desire and physical sensations that were coursing through her body. She wanted this to never end. She wanted to feel him everywhere. She wanted to experience him completely. And in that instant, she was terrified. She had no desire to stop, ever, but her brain told her that she was not ready for the results of that. She had only ever kissed boys, and if her body had its way she would soon be doing much more. She knew she wasn't ready to lose her virginity, even if it was to James Potter.

"I'm sorry," she breathed, pulling away before she could talk herself out of this decision. "I can't do this." And then she bolted to her bedroom before she caved in completely and threw herself at him once again.

James chased after her but she had already reached her bedroom and he knew better than to try and follow her. He wouldn't blame her if she hated him. She had been upset, she had been vulnerable, and he'd taken advantage of that and of her inexperience. He felt like a cad. He returned to his room and sank back down on to his bed, attempting to think of away to somehow make everything alright.

Lily felt like an absolute idiot, and she felt sure that James would probably agree with that assessment. She hadn't meant to get so carried away, and she hadn't meant to run like a scared ninny, but both of those things had happened. Her thoughts were a jumbled up mess and there was only one person who could possibly help her to make sense of any of this. Unfortunately, it was now a little after midnight and she didn't think Alice would appreciate her pulling her from her bed at this hour. But at the same time, scared chicken that she was, she didn't think she could deal with facing James alone, even if it was just bumping into him in the common room tomorrow morning. So, thanking Merlin that she still had a bed in the Gryffindor girl's dormitory, she grabbed her uniform and everything else she would need in the morning, pulled on her school robe, and quietly slid out of the common room and made her way to Gryffindor Tower, only pausing for a few moments in the common room to write a note.

Alice Fortescue yawned as she made her way down the stairs from her dormitory. She paused at the foot of the stairs as she saw her best friend sitting curled up in one of the armchairs, clearly waiting for Alice to arrive.

"You look exhausted," Alice said as she reached Lily's side.

"I am," Lily assured her as she rose from the chair.

"I thought you were planning on getting a good night's rest last night?"

"I was, but I didn't. I'll tell you all about it, but first we have to hurry. I want to go to the kitchens and get breakfast first." Alice stared at her best friend as if she had sprouted a second head. Going to the kitchens was against school rules, and while it was true that Lily had looked the other way from time to time to allow for the occasional party, breaking the rule herself was entirely different.

"What's wrong with breakfast in the Great Hall?" Alice asked, still gaping at Lily as they made their way out of the Gryffindor common room.

"Nothing, but Potter will be there and I'd rather avoid him," Lily said evasively, not wanting to discuss it where they could so easily be overheard.

"Did you two have a fight this morning?" Alice asked, prodding.

"I didn't see him this morning," Lily said, even more evasively.

"How'd you manage that? You share a common room. How early did you get up this morning?"

"I actually slept in the dormitory last night, well if you can call lying there attempting to sleep, sleeping. I gave up around 5 this morning, dressed in the bathroom and then went to wait for you in the common room."

Alice stopped walking at Lily's words thus making it necessary for Lily to turn around in order to address her: "What is it, Alice?"

"Let me get this straight," Alice said after a moment, "you're not only breaking school rules this morning in order to get breakfast from the kitchens in order to avoid Potter, you also broke school rules, not to mention common sense as there may or may not be a killer wandering the corridors, to sneak out last night in order to avoid Potter this morning?"

Lily flushed red but said nothing, but that was all the answer Alice needed.

"Well, bloody hell," Alice exclaimed as she began to walk hurriedly herself to the kitchen. "I suppose you're right, we'd best hurry because I have a feeling that when I hear this story I'm either going to need to knock some sense into you or more likely have to hex off his privates, and I'd rather not be late for class."

Lily smiled in spite of herself; Alice never failed to make her laugh.

James rushed down the stairs into the common room. He had barely slept at all but he was determined to see Lily, and talk to her, apologize to her, whatever was necessary to make her see how truly sorry he was. But his heart sank as he reached the bottom of the stairs. For there, resting on one of the tables in the common room was a note addressed to him in Lily's familiar handwriting. It pained him to think that she had been as desperate to avoid him as he had been to see her. Still, he made his way to the table and tore open the note, impatient to read what she had wrote.

James,

I'm so sorry about last night. I can't imagine what you must think of me. I didn't mean to lead you on. I guess I just got carried away, and then terrified as a result of my own lack of inhibition. You were so sweet to me last night and I repaid you by making you a passenger on my emotional rollercoaster ride (a rollercoaster is this muggle amusement park ride…oh never mind just imagine something similar to riding a bucking broomstick which I know you are familiar with). And now I'm rambling on due to lack of sleep. Sorry. Again, I'm really sorry about everything.

Lily

James was unsure what to feel first. Hope, that she didn't hate him? Sadness, that she felt she needed to apologize when he was the cad who had taken advantage of the situation? He hated that she worried about what he might think of her, when all he had ever been able to think of her was how wonderful she was. He wanted to show her, to tell her how much she meant to him, had always meant to him. He wanted to tell her that despite his vast experience with girls he would wait a million years for her to be ready if that was what it would take. He had an idea of way to accomplish this, but he would need a ton of help. He had never been quite as thankful to have a group of three best mates who he knew he could rely on to help him.

"Is this really necessary?" Alice asked as she and Lily made their way, breakfast and hot tea in hand, out onto the cold grounds.

"Yes," Lily said as she placed a warming spell on a blanket she had brought with her for her and Alice to sit on.

"Okay, I'll admit the blanket and the warming charm was a nice touch," Alice said grudgingly as she sat down on the blanket beside Lily.

"I seem to recall a previous conversation on the cold Hogwarts grounds in which you worried about your bottom turning to ice."

Alice laughed before adding, "I recall that we were out here in the cold then to discuss James Potter as well, so what happened?"

Lily paused for a long moment, unsure of quite how to begin.

"Do you regret having sex with Frank?" Lily blurted out finally, knowing immediately that was now how she had wanted to start this conversation.

"What?" Alice asked clearly surprised, and then rounding on her best friend, "Did you and James have sex?"

"No!" Lily responded quickly, and then added, "I got scared and bailed mid heavy snogging in his bed last night."

"Sweet Merlin!" Alice exclaimed, before seeing the anguished look on Lily's face she gave her best friend a hug and began again.

"I want to hear all about how that happened, but to answer your question, I don't regret that it was with Frank, but I wish we had waited." Lily nodded and Alice continued. "As you well know, it was the night I returned from Egypt after we had been apart all summer and it just happened. I'd considered it before and I think that night I thought I was ready because I knew I was in love with Frank and that nothing would ever change that. I thought that was enough. I didn't realize the emotional weight that losing my virginity would have. I don't think I ever considered the added pressure it would put on my relationship with Frank. It was like before, I just assumed that Frank and I would end up together, but after we had sex it was like I had to make sure that happened otherwise I might have regrets. I think that's why we were fighting so much about my being an auror and stuff."

"And so then you decided to wait?" Lily asked.

"We talked about it, decided that we weren't ready for the pressures that came with having sex and that we wanted to wait. We never said what we were waiting for exactly, so I can't say 'waiting for marriage' or whatever else it is people say, but just waiting until we're ready for whatever it is the future brings."

"There was a moment last night when I didn't want it to stop," Lily said. "I was so lost in the feelings and overwhelmed by it all and I just wanted to be with him so much, and then it was like it hit me what I was thinking, what my body was already planning to have happen. I knew you'd said before that you hadn't been ready, and I knew I mentally or emotionally or both really wasn't ready and I just bolted, terrified. I know I should have explained myself, but I was afraid my resolve would crumble if I stayed another moment."

"For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing. You know that I am a firm believer in you and James Potter being destined for one another, but your first time is something you can't have back. If he's the man I think he is then he'll wait until you're ready," she said with a smile and another hug. "And if he's not willing to wait and even thinks of pressuring you," she added after a moment, "I'm sure that between the two of us we can come up with a suitable punishment that will forever negate that issue."

A/N: My dear readers, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for sticking with me and this story and for being patient. I know it hasn't been easy and I'm really sorry for making you wait so long. My only excuse is that school has to come first. I have completed my rough draft of my thesis (54 pages be proud or at least sympathetic ha ha) and have one semester left until graduation. As ever I promise that no matter how long it is between updates I am still writing and am not giving up on this story. As compensation for your patience I gave you a little extra as this chapter initially was supposed to end with Lily bolting from the room but I felt that after your wait a little resolution was required. The next chapter will have them FINALLY getting together but I won't give away what James' plan is that requires Marauder help to tell Lily how he feels. It will also focus on what is coming with Voldemort's plans and set up the major event (and character death) that will come in the following chapter. All of this is in the process of being written and I hope to have it done soon. xoxo


	48. Chapter 48

A/N: My beloved readers, if you're still reading thank you for sticking with me. I'm finally done with school, done with my thesis, and done with student teaching and so the rest of the chapters should be coming fairly regularly from now on. I'm hoping for one every two to three weeks instead of one every six months or so. Enjoy!

* * *

Tuesday meant double Defense Against the Dark Arts to start the day. Lily whished that class would be cancelled or something, in order to further allow her to put off seeing James, but it was not to be. Professor Dearborn was already at work copying the day's agenda on to the blackboard. The one comfort she could draw from this, was that today's lesson seemed to be heavy on theory and not on practice, which would mean she could retreat into note taking next to Alice, and hopefully avoid any contact with James.

She had just finished frantically whispering this new plan to Alice, who could not help but roll her eyes ever so slightly, before she heard the sounds of breakfast being let out, and withdrew her parchment and almost dove into copying down the agenda so quickly that Alice's own piece of parchment was blown off the desk.

Frank was the first to arrive and took his seat next to Alice and Lily in the front bench.

"Where were you two at breakfast?"

"We ate out on the grounds," Alice said, following Lily's lead and copying down the agenda so as to help prevent her friend from being drawn into a conversation. Despite the fact that she was more of the rip the bandage off quickly type girl, she was fiercely loyal, and if this was the way Lily wanted to handle it then Alice would help her.

"But its freezing out there," Frank said, confused. Alice snorted, as if to say that the boy who had eaten a nice worm breakfast in the toasty Great Hall was in no position to educate her as to the temperature outside. "Well then, what were you doing out there?" Frank continued.

"Just chatting," Alice said evasively, "girl stuff, it wouldn't interest you."

"Well, couldn't you have done that somewhere warmer?"

"Obviously, not," Alice said.

"You mystify me," Frank said after a moment.

"That is the female way, Longbottom," Sirius said as he slid into his own seat in the row behind. "Not that I myself know anything about that, having a keen understanding of the female gender as I do." It took all Lily's self control to refrain from commenting on that, and maintain her concentration on the pre-lesson reading that had been assigned on the board.

"Yes, we know all about your expertise, panty boy," Alice said with a smirk. Frank, as well as Remus, and Peter who had just taken their seats as well snickered.

"Where's James?" Frank asked, causing Lily to turn her head ever so slightly on the pretext of just adjusting her position.

"He had something he needed to take care of, but he should be here shortly," Remus answered.

To Lily's immense relief James only arrived a second before class began and only had time to put his things down and take a seat before Professor Dearborn instructed them all to get started on the reading (Lily had already finished) and to then be ready to take some notes on methods for fighting inferi. Lily couldn't help but think to herself with a grim smile that it was a sorry thing indeed that she would rather face a lesson revolving on combating already dead bodies than have to face a conversation with James Potter.

* * *

Despite how tired she was, Lily refused to go back to her room and take a nap during her morning break which extended until lunch. James had the same break and she had seen he and the marauders making their way up toward the common room, so she was taking no chances, and instead took refuge in the library, which was as marauder-free an area as one could usually find in Hogwarts.

She made her way over to the Ancient Runes section to begin work on her essay for the class which was due on Friday.

"Hello, Lily," Daphne said, in as cheerful a voice as she could manage, as she rounded the corner carrying a large stack of books.

"Oh, hi," Lily stammered, "Do you want some help with those?"

"No, I've got them." She said as she placed them down on a table. "You're welcome to sit with me and use them as well if you'd like. I was just going to start work on the essay."

"Thanks," Lily nodded her agreement. They sat together in silence working for quite awhile each attempting to focus on their essay. Lily wondered if things would ever be normal, or at least not awkward, between her and Daphne. After all, Lily and James weren't even dating, but she and Daphne could barely manage to look each other in the eye after all that had already passed between them.

"Are you alright?" Daphne asked suddenly, pulling Lily from her thoughts.

"Excuse me," Lily asked, confused by Daphne's meaning.

"You just look a little agitated, like you've got something on your mind."

"Oh," Lily said, unsure of what to say. After all she was pretty sure that Daphne didn't want to hear about her concerns about her possibly budding relationship with James Potter.

"I guess these last couple days have been awful stressful, what with the disappearance and everything," Daphne reasoned.

"Yes," Lily said, grasping on to her reasoning. "It's been exhausting. I've hardly slept at all."

"I heard James say at breakfast that aurors would be taking over today," Daphne said.

Lily nodded before continuing, "It's a big relief, not to have all that pressure of the investigation on us."

"And you've no idea what happened?"

"None," Lily answered.

"It's so terrifying," Daphne said as she returned to her work. "I mean to think that we have someone capable of that within the walls of Hogwarts."

"What makes you think within?" Lily asked, puzzled for a moment.

"If he was on the grounds, then whoever attacked him had to be on the grounds," Daphne said, confused that that much wasn't obvious.

"You're right," Lily said, "I guess I've just been so caught up in what could have happened, and whether he was on the grounds or not that I never stopped to consider the implications."

* * *

"So how long do you want us to stall Lily after class?" Sirius asked as the four boys made their way down to transfiguration.

"At least twenty minutes," James answered. "Do you think you can manage?"

"Don't insult me," Sirius said with a roll of his eyes, "if I have to, I'll prank her and keep her yelling at me for an hour."

"Well, if possible, I'd rather she's not furious with my best friend when she arrives," James said with a smile.

"Picky, picky," Sirius said with a shake of his head.

"Don't worry, Prongs. We'll take care of it." Remus said.

* * *

"Evans," Sirius said approaching Lily's desk after Transfiguration as she gathered up her things. She glanced up, worried that James was with him, but was relieved, yet puzzled to see that he was only accompanied by Peter and Remus.

"Black," Lily said with a slight nod.

"Hi Lily," Remus said stopping as Sirius had done in front of her desk.

"How are you today, Lily?" Peter asked. Lily glanced from the three boys to Alice who had been gathering up her own belongings as well, and was glad to see that Alice was looking at the three boys curiously as well. At least, thought Lily, she wasn't imagining that they were acting weirder than usual.

"Remus," Lily nodded for a second time. "I'm doing okay Peter. What about you?"

"Oh, I'm okay," Peter responded and then as if remembering something suddenly he added, "well actually Lily I could use a little help."

"What's the matter," she asked, feeling a mixture of curiosity and concern.

"I can't figure out the Geminio charm from yesterday's lesson, and Professor Flitwick said we would each be expected to know it by class tomorrow."

"We've tried to help him," Remus said, knowing Lily would wonder why they weren't helping their friend, "but neither of us can figure out what he's doing wrong."

"Yeah," Sirius said, picking up on Remus' line of thought. "I guess we understand it well enough to do it, but not well enough to teach it."

"Can you help me?" Peter asked.

"Of course I will," Lily said kindly. "Don't worry Peter; we'll get you straightened out."

"I hope so," Peter squeaked, relieved that their plan had worked. Remus had been right that they needed to play to Lily's helpful nature.

"Seeing as it's for academic gain," Professor McGonagall said as she finished gathering up her own material and began to make her way toward the door, "you may stay here and practice if you'd like."

"Thank you, Professor," Lily said sincerely.

"I trust, Miss Evans, that you will supervise everything and," her gaze shifting to Sirius, "everyone carefully. I'd hate to come into my classroom tomorrow and find myself hoisted into the air by some invisible mist or some other juvenile prank."

"Minnie you hurt me with such insinuations!" Sirius said dramatically. "It's like you don't know me at all."

"On the contrary Mr. Black, I've had seven years experience dealing with you," she said attempting to maintain her stern glance.

"You know you're going to miss me," Sirius said with a rogue grin.

"Quite," Professor McGonagall said before proceeding out of the room.

* * *

Lily sighed as she made her way back up to the Head's common room. It had been a long day for someone running on so few hours of sleep. She'd had the strangest feeling that Peter hadn't really needed her help, which she knew was ridiculous. It just seemed as though he kept mixing up different things until suddenly some twenty minutes later it suddenly seemed to all click and he was able to perform the charm. But she supposed that maybe he had just needed some extra practice and encouragement.

She stopped as she reached Bridget's portrait.

"Is Potter inside?" she asked, dreading the answer.

"Yes, Miss Evans." Bridget replied swinging open. Lily wished she could avoid him longer, but taking a deep breath, and hoping that reserve of Gryffindor courage would fill her with bravery in a moment, she stepped up into the portrait hole and made her way into the common room…where she stopped dead, in shock.

James was standing there waiting for her to return, suddenly confirming in her mind that Peter had not needed her help. But beyond where James was standing everything was different; the common room no longer looked like the common room. Despite the cold weather outside, the ceiling of the common room had been charmed to look like a cloudless summer day. All the furniture in the room, the couch, the table and chairs, and everything else had been pushed over to the side. Her mind was struggling to take the entire scene in, to process it and make it make sense.

"Hey, Evans," James said with his trademark grin. Lily could tell that just moments before he had been ruffling his hair in that annoying, yet also adorable way of his.

"Potter?" Lily said, sounding more like a question than a greeting.

"You're probably wondering what's going on."

"Just slightly," she agreed.

"I've been thinking recently," James said.

"Always problematic," Lily said with a grin.

"Yeah, well that's what makes it fun."

"So you were thinking," Lily said.

"Yes, and did you know that I've asked you out a total of 1,432 times?"

"Really?" Lily said, surprised by the turn in the conversation, and then in an attempt to regain her footing and because she was just curious, "You kept count?"

"Well, when I first started keeping count I never really expected the number to get quite so high," James said with a shrug.

"Sorry," Lily said, blushing.

"While I was thinking it occurred to me that I must be absolutely crazy, that no one does something one thousand times and expects to get a different result. So I decided that I needed to try a different approach. So I'm not going to ask you to go out with me."

"You're not," Lily said, attempting to mask the hurt in her voice. If she could just avoid crying in front of him she would be grateful, then she could find Alice and collapse into tears if necessary.

"No, I'm not," James said. He paused for a moment and then stepping aside to reveal behind him a blanket spread out with a picnic for two set up, he asked instead, "Stay in with me, Evans?"

Lily smiled a bigger smile than she could ever remember smiling in her life. She had never felt happier than she did in that moment.

"Yes," she said.

"Really?" James said excitedly.

"You sound surprised, Potter," Lily questioned surprised by his seeming surprise.

"Well, I thought the odds were in my favor but after a thousand or so times I wasn't for sure."

"I guess you're right. Maybe you need some convincing," she said before rising up on her tip-toes and kissing him lightly on the lips. After a moment he lifted her all the way off her feet and swung her around, causing her to emit a mix of a laugh, a shriek.

Setting her back on the ground he said, "That's twice I've gotten you airborne. You'll be over this fear of heights in no time."

"We'll see," she said doubtfully. And then looking down at the food she asked, "How did you do all this?"

"I'm very friendly with the house elves," James said with a wink.

They sat their together on the blanket eating their picnic meal, laughing, talking, kissing, giggling, and more than anything else just smiling, both completely content. They spent several hours like that just absorbed in each other before the outside world called them back to reality.

"If McGonagall wasn't supervising practice tonight, I'd cancel it," James said sincerely.

"Why is she supervising?" Lily asked interestedly.

"They sent out owls to all the Quidditch Captains this morning. Apparently, they don't want to take any chances with students out on the grounds at night, even if they are in groups of seven. All the Heads of Houses are going to be supervising their house's practices, at least until they figure out what happened to Aubrey."

The mention of Aubrey's name triggered Lily's memory.

"I can't believe I forgot to mention this earlier!" She exclaimed. "I was in the library this morning talking with Daphne about Aubrey's disappearance and I feel so stupid I hadn't seen it before, but through Daphne's eyes it was so obvious. We've been going off of the assumption that he's no longer on the grounds because he would've turned up by now, so we've assumed that he either left voluntarily or was forced to leave by someone else. But Daphne pointed out that either thing is practically impossible. Dumbledore told us the first week that he had increased the protection around the school so how could anyone get in to get Aubrey? And unless he knew of another way out of the grounds, it's almost impossible that he managed to get out."

"So you think he must still be here in Hogwarts, somewhere?" James questioned.

"Not only that," Lily continued, "but his attacker was always in Hogwarts and still is."

"Bloody hell," James exclaimed.

"I think it's time we have another meeting of the minds," Lily said grimly.

"Yeah, I think you're right," James said, his mind still reeling from Lily's pronouncement. "I'll bring Sirius after practice, and the Hufflepuff's practice is right before ours, I'll catch MacMillan and have him meet here as well."

"I'll find Alice, Frank, Peter, and Remus in the Common Room," Lily agreed.


	49. Chapter 49

James made his way down toward the Quidditch Pitch thinking both about the fact that Lily had finally agreed to be his girlfriend, and the implications of Bertram Aubrey's attacker being in Hogwarts.

The Hufflepuff practice was just letting out as James reached the Quidditch Pitch. He saw Aidan, now captain of this year's Hufflepuff squad, conversing with Quinn Cadwallader, the Hufflepuff seeker and fifth year Hufflepuff Prefect. He called out to Aidan as the two separated, waving to Quinn as she made her way back up to the castle.

"Potter?" Aidan said in greeting as he made his way over to James.

"Evans and I were hoping you could come by the Common Room after the Gryffindor practice is over. We'd like to get your thoughts on what we've learned regarding the disappearance of Bertram Aubrey. Sirius, Peter, Remus, Alice and Frank are also going to be there."

"Yeah," Aidan said shaking his head. "I'll be there."

"Thanks," James said. He was relieved the exchange had gone so well considering their history, but moments later realized his relief was too premature as he heard Sirius call out from behind him, unaware of who James was talking to.

"Oi, Potter! What did Evans say then? I've been waiting anxiously all afternoon." Sirius grimaced as James took a step to the side and Sirius saw Aidan. "Oh, hey there MacMillan. I didn't see you there. Congratulations on being made Captain."

"Thanks, Sirius," Aidan said. "So," he said turning to look at James once more, "are congratulations in order?"

James smiled. MacMillan was a class act. "Yeah, Lily's agreed to go out with me," James said attempting to keep his voice neutral so as not to rub it in.

Aidan's smile and congratulations were only slightly forced. He had known, or at least highly suspected, for quite some time that Lily had very strong feelings for James. Despite his own lingering feelings for Lily, he considered her one of his closest friends, and he truly wanted her to be happy.

But the feelings of Lily's ex were not shared by James'. Immediately after James had confirmed that he and Lily were dating, the three boys were startled by the sound of a gasp as Daphne had clearly overheard his pronouncement. She looked taken aback for a brief moment and then ran into the girl's changing room, but they heard her begin to sob before the door had completely closed. Regal and Hestia, who had walked down to the pitch with Daphne, stood awkwardly for a moment, neither sure what to say, and then after a moment, followed after Daphne hoping to comfort their bereft friend.

"Well, that went well," James said sarcastically.

"You got us both done at once though," Aidan said, only half joking, and then before turning to make his way back up to the castle, "I'll see you both later."

"Why is MacMillan going to see us later?" Sirius asked, curiously as he and James made their way into the locker room where they both kept casting furtive looks at the girl's changing room door, both unsure what they would if the female members of the team refused to emerge.

"Evans and I want everyone's feedback on the Bertram Aubrey case."

* * *

Augustus Pye and Dirk Cresswell sat together laughing, occasionaly swishing their beater bat's through the air. A moment later the girls filed out of the changing room. There was no sign of anything being amiss except for the redness of Daphne's eyes.

"Okay," James said. "Tonight I want us to work with the bludgers," he nodded to his beaters who were suddenly both ablaze with excitement. "Slytherin has a pair of trolls this year playing at the Beater positions, and you can bet that rather than try and outplay us in the match, their strategy is going to be to knock us out. I spoke to Professor McGonagall and since she has to oversee our practices, she agreed to, while she was here, charm the bludgers so that when they hit they'll only sting a little, that way we're not risking anyone getting hurt before the match in two weeks.

"So when we get out there I want Pye and Cresswell to go all out, no safe shots, just like you were in a game. The rest of us, Daphne included, are going to do everything we can to dodge them, while tossing the quaffle back and forth. We're not going to worry about the snitch tonight, because I want Daphne to practice dodging the bludgers too because the Slytherin's know their seeker is no match for her, they'll be throwing everything her way to keep her from catching the snitch."

And so they flew. They all took their share of blows from the bludgers but after continued hits were becoming more and more adept at missing them. Although James was fairly certain that the bruises he received as a result of this practice would not be from the bludgers, but from the quaffle which Daphne kept throwing at him to "catch" with such force that they had slammed into his chest several times. However, he realized that getting bruised with the quaffle was probably a pretty mild form of revenge, so he said nothing.

James couldn't help but think that his two beaters were particularly enjoying this practice. This suspicion was confirmed when Pye and Cresswell seemed to discover that Regal and Hestia seemed to only avoid being hit by the bludgers by rolling over on their brooms. They forgot about the rest of their teammates at that point and continued a constant stream of well hit bludgers flying towards the two girls so that every time they righted themselves, they had to once again roll over to avoid being struck. James knew he should stop them, but he had to admit it was rather funny, and captain or not, head boy or not, he was still a marauder and wasn't one to stop a prank.

This circus of bludgers and rolling girls went on for quite a few minutes longer, before it came to an end. Augustus was laughing so hard he could barely stay up on his own broom after both he and Dirk had hit bludgers at Regal causing her to have to do two loops and a roll. He was laughing so hard that he lost his grip on his own bat. He dove to grab it again, but he was no match for the best seeker in Hogwarts. Daphne caught the bat.

"Thanks, Daphne," Pye said as he reached his hand out for his bat.

"You're welcome," Daphne said with a smile, before tossing the bat to Regal.

"Ha Ha," Pye said as he made to fly toward Regal. "Very funny."

"I think so too," Regal said with a smile before whacking a bludger that Dirk had just sent her way, in an attempt to unseat her so that Augustus could retrieve his bat, and sending it with a resounding smack right into Augustus who doubled over as the well hit bludger hit him in the midsection.

They all collapsed into fits of laughter, even Augustus after he recovered his breath, because of how well executed the girl's revenge had been, and because of the look of shock on Pye's face as the bludger had come careening toward him.

After a few minutes, Dirk spoke up and said through laughs, "Coach, don't you have anything to say about this outrageous attack on a fellow teammate?"

"Yeah I suppose I do," James said, attempting to look serious. "Good hitting, Regal. It's good to know I've got a competent beater finally on this team."

"Hey!" Both Augustus and Dirk cried in mock outrage before once again the entire team collapsed into giggles.

* * *

Lily, Alice, Frank, Peter, Remus, and Aidan were already gathered in the common room when James and Sirius arrived following practice. They took their seats, helping themselves to the pumpkin juice and cookies Peter or Remus had no doubt retrieved from the kitchen for the meeting.

Between James and Lily they filled everyone in on what they knew and suspected regarding the disappearance of Bertram Aubrey. When they had finished everyone was quiet for a several moments, letting everything absorb.

"So he's dead?" Aidan asked after a moment.

"We don't know that," Lily said.

"But you've pretty much deduced that he couldn't have been taken out of Hogwarts," Aidan replied. "If he wasn't dead surely he would have found some way to indicate where he is so that someone could find him."

"That's true," Lily relented.

"Unless he's incapacitated," Frank said. "They might not have killed him, yet. Maybe he's just been so severely injured that he can't do anything to alert anyone."

"In which case, I think I'd rather they just kill me," Alice said quietly. They were all quiet for a moment. Was it possible that there were worse things than death? Were they all about to enter a world in which death might just be the preferable alternative?

"It still doesn't make sense!" Peter said after several moments.

"What is it, Pete?" James asked.

"Whether he's dead or incapacitated, we still should have found _something_."

"So in other words, where's the body?" Sirius said, "Pete asks a good question."

"How would we do it?" Remus asked.

"Do what?" Aidan asked.

"Make sure no one found anything."

And so they all sat, and thought. If they were the type of people who murdered people, how would they each individually insure that a body was never found?

"You could bury it," Peter said after several moments.

"You'd still risk someone finding it," Sirius said. James knew he was thinking of someone with a particular set of skills that would be able to find a buried body, perhaps someone who could transform into a large black dog.

"Are there potions that could completely dissolve a body?" Frank asked Lily, after all she was the best of those who were present at potions.

"I suppose it's possible," Lily said. "I don't know how to do it, but I'm sure there's a potion somewhere that would be powerful enough to do that."

"Would Snape be able to make a potion like that?" Remus asked. Lily felt all eyes in the room turn towards her. She thought about it for a long moment.

"I don't know. It's impossible for me to say without seeing the potion myself, but I've never seen a potion that he hasn't been able to brew."

"Are you thinking that Snape is behind it all?" James asked. He had been thinking that, but was waiting for someone else, who didn't have quite the feelings for Snape that he had to bring it up.

"It's a possibility," Remus said. "One of many," he added after a moment.

"What if Aubrey found out about whatever Snape's up to with MacNair, or with Crouch?" Aidan asked.

"He would kill him," Lily said without hesitation, causing everyone to once again look at her. "Severus is thorough, he wouldn't allow anyone to live who had information like that on him."

"He might not have had a choice," Remus added, "not if he's acting on Voldemort's orders. The choices would be either kill Aubrey or be killed by Voldemort for failing."

"Which brings us back to the ever present question of what _is _Snape up to?" Sirius stated.

* * *

The next few weeks went by with little change. For the majority of the students in Hogwarts the news that Lily Evans had finally agreed to date James Potter was the only event worth talking about. Never mind the fact that a student was missing, that more disappearances were reported every single day in the _Daily Prophet _and more bad news continued to arrive.

"It's ridiculous!" Lily huffed exasperatedly at Alice as they made their way out onto the grounds during a break between classes. "Everywhere I go, everyone's whispering and pointing, and asking me how Potter is in the sack, and…"

"Surely, there are enough other people who could testify to that that there's no need to bother you," Alice said with a nudge at Lily.

"Shut up," Lily said, torn between a grimace at the reminder of her boyfriend's immense experience and laughing at the truth of Alice's statement.

"You should tell them the truth," Alice said with a smile, "that would really set their tongues wagging."

"They probably wouldn't believe the truth," Lily said, "I wouldn't believe it if someone told me Potter was dating someone and not sleeping with them."

"Yeah, I suppose we better not. We don't want to ruin his reputation."

"It's just annoying," Lily said, serious once again.

"I know," Alice said. "You would think people would have more important stuff to worry about, but apparently their brains are filled with nothing but mush. I kind of envy them. I miss the days when all we had to worry about was who was dating who and all."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Lily nodded. "I keep feeling like I should be able to figure it all out. I mean I know Snape better than anyone else, it should be me who could figure out what he's up to, but I feel like I'm trying to put together a puzzle with only half the pieces, and the ones that I have are all faded and hard to make sense of."

"I feel like when we figure it all out it's going to be too late to stop anything," Alice said ominously.

"I'm afraid that it already is," Lily confirmed.

* * *

The evening before the Gryffindor vs. Slytherin quidditch match, the Gryffindor team had one final practice in Professor McGonagall's classroom, where they reviewed tactics, strategy, and a few key plays that James thought might come in handy. He felt good about their chances as he dismissed his teammates after about an hour, instructing them to get a good night's sleep before tomorrow's game.

Dirk Cresswell gathered up his stuff, checking his watch, to make sure he wasn't running late. He had to meet Harper Robbins in the library at eight to begin their patrol.

"Sorry about that," James said. "I thought I'd done a better job of making sure that you didn't have any patrols on the same nights as quidditch stuff."

"No worries, mate," Dirk said with a smile. "It's Friday night after all, there won't be a lot of people in the library. And those that are there are there to study, not cause trouble. Harper and I'll have fun."

"Not too much fun," James said with a grin. "Pince is a hawk about any hook-ups in her library."

"You would know that," Dirk said with a shake of his head.

"He knows from personal experience," Sirius said with a laugh.

"I'm surprised you don't as well," Dirk responded.

"Ah, that would require him to actually go to the library, something he steadfastly avoids doing."

"Right, well I'll see you two tomorrow," Dirk said with a wave as he left.

"Him and Robbins?" Sirius asked quirking his eyebrow.

"I don't know," James answered with a shrug. "He said they'd have fun."

"There are other types of fun, you know." Hestia said from where she was still standing talking to Daphne and Regal.

"Of course there is, sweetie," Sirius said with a sanctimonious nod toward her. "And if any blokes tell you otherwise you report them to me and I'll take care of them, even if it is Pye."

"The overprotective older brother bit, really?" She asked skeptically.

"Well Regal already has one, so I figured you were in need," Sirius said with a shrug.

"Well seeing as you're the one who puts fear into every older brother's heart," Regal said with a laugh.

"Exactly, I know how these young blokes think."

"Alright then," Hestia agreed with a smile.

"Come on then big brother Sirius," James said, clapping his best friend on the back. They said goodbye to the girls, who were making their way down to the kitchen. James gathered that Daphne was training Regal and Hestia on the finer points of party planning, so that they could take her place next year.

That thought caused his heart to stop for a moment. Obviously, he knew it was their seventh year, their last at Hogwarts. But the thought that someone other than Daphne would be throwing parties in the common room, or someone other than the marauders would be pulling pranks, was just downright depressing.

* * *

Severus Snape sat in the Slytherin common room studying a piece of parchment. This was the last thing he had to accomplish. Tomorrow morning before the Gryffindor vs. Slytherin quidditch match he would be meeting with his accomplices, giving them their instructions, all while the rest of the school made their way down to watch the silly game.

* * *

Peter sat quietly in the Gryffindor common room. Waiting. Sirius had said that Regal was with Daphne and Hestia, but that they would be back shortly. Well, maybe it was just because he was nervous, but it seemed like shortly was taking a really long time.

Finally, as the portrait of the Fat Lady swung open he heard her laugh as she entered the common room, followed closely by Daphne and Hestia. She saw him and her smile grew brighter, something that made him feel like something inside him, maybe his heart, was inflating to bursting point.

"Hi, Pete," she said as the immediately made her way over to where he was sitting.

"Hi, Regal," he said smiling back. "How was your practice?"

"Oh it was good," she said. "James just wanted to go over some stuff for the match tomorrow. And then Daph, Hestia and I went down to the kitchen to talk to the house elves about making food for the party tomorrow."

"Even though we haven't won yet?" Peter asked slightly confused.

"Daphne says it's important to give them notice on big orders like a party for the entire tower."

"Oh, I guess I never thought of it like that," Peter said.

"Yeah," she said with a smile.

Peter took a deep breath. This was the moment of truth.

"So Regal, do you have any plans for next Saturday in Hogsmede?"

Regal's smile which he thought was already huge, seemed to grow even larger as she answered, "No, I don't have anything planned."

"Would you like to go with me?" He asked.

"Yes," she said, clearly ecstatic, and Peter had to admit he felt fairly ecstatic himself.

* * *

The morning dawned with clear skies and sun, better than rain, but the bright sunlight would still cause some difficulty for the match.

"Ready for your match?" Lily said as she came down the stairs from her bedroom and observed James standing by the window.

"Yeah," he said smiling and reaching out to her enveloping her in a hug, and giving her a short, sweet kiss. "It should be a nice day for it."

"Be careful," Lily said, betraying her underlying nervousness about this day.

"Why are you nervous," James asked curiously.

"The last time you played in a quidditch match you almost died," Lily said quietly. "And we still don't really know what Snape's up to. I just don't want anything to happen."

"Evans is worried about me," James said leaning down to kiss her nose. "I kind of like the way that feels."

"Well I don't," Lily said, attempting to put on a brave face.

"I'll be careful," James said seriously. "I promise."

"Good. Oh and Potter," she said, "be sure and win, wipe the smirk off the Slytherins' faces."

"Yes, mam," he said with a laugh as he made his way down to the quidditch pitch.

* * *

"So how does it feel to be the girlfriend of a quidditch captain?" Alice asked as she, Lily, and Frank took their seats right in the middle of the box. She was determined, as always, to attempt to keep her best friend's mind off of how high she was in the air.

"Oh it's fairly nerve-wracking," Lily said sounding slightly faint as she always did at high altitudes.

"He'll be fine," Frank said reassuringly.

"He better be," she said with a smile. "He did promise."

James kept both his promises. He stayed safe and Gryffindor won the match 200 to 50, when Daphne caught the snitch to break the 50-50 tie.

Much of Gryffindor House swarmed the field following the match, while others made their way back up to the tower to await the team and the ensuing party.

Lily was there before almost anyone else, after all, getting down there had several advantages: seeing James, having James firmly back on the ground, and getting down from the really high stands and getting herself back firmly on the ground. She had meant to just congratulate him, she didn't want to be overly lovey-dovey in front of Daphne, but all thoughts and concerns went out of her head when she saw him smiling at her and he pulled her into his arms as soon as she reached him.

As she resurfaced several minutes later, she couldn't help but smile for Regal and Peter who both looked embarrassedly happy, as Peter pulled out a bouquet of flowers (she suspected somehow he had managed to get to Hogsmede) and presented them to Regal, before she threw herself into his arms, her enthusiasm nearly knocking them both down.

"He better be careful," Sirius said with a snicker to James and Remus. "Wormy doesn't know what to do with the ladies once he gets them horizontal." Lily and Alice both rolled their eyes, Sirius was predictably unpredictable.

James gave Sirius an affectionate whack upside the back of his head, while Remus merely shook his head in disbelief and said, "Come on, leave them be, they'll find their way back up to the common room when they're ready."

* * *

Snape sat observing the sheet of paper again. Everything was in place. Now, he only had to wait for the plans to be enacted during the following week. If everything went according to plan, Hogsmede would be ripe for the Dark Lord's attack in a week, just in time for the first trip of the school year.


	50. Chapter 50

A/N: WOW I can't believe this is chapter 50 and that you've stuck with this story for so long. Thank you, sincerely from the bottom of my heart. I always knew this story was going to be monolithic because it's covering such a large span of time from when Lily and James are 16 at the end of the fifth year to when they are killed at age 21. But somehow I never really considered how much that would actually mean.

This chapter and the next chapter I originally wrote as all one chapter but in the end I felt it was too long and its such an important enough event that I didn't want you to get bogged down in it. The next chapter with the actual attack will be up shortly. As I already hinted at earlier there will be a character death so feel free to begin to speculate on that in the comments.

Thanks again for your continued support and I hope you enjoy!

* * *

Caradoc Dearborn could hardly wait for the Hogsmede weekend. In fact, he would wager that he was as excited as his students. The new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was not much for the small town itself, but loved exploring the mountain trails beyond. He had heard reports that several of the marshy springs on the trails were home to large nests of Hinkypunks, and he was eager to get some wild ones to show his third year class. He planned on setting out early that morning, and not returning to the village until well into the afternoon. And so, Professor Dearborn would not be in Hogsmede on Saturday.

* * *

Madame Hooch wished that she could be enthusiastically looking forward to the Hogsmede weekend, as so many of the faculty and students around her were doing, but she would not be going to Hogsmede this weekend. Many of the first years, and for that matter several of the second years, were still below standard flyers, and had petitioned her for extra flying lessons. Normally it was not the type of thing she consented to, but in these dark and dangerous times she felt honor-bound to do anything she could that could help the students escape close calls, and if that meant giving up a weekend to help them become more proficient flyers, well she would do it. And so, Madame Hooch would not be in Hogsmede on Saturday.

* * *

Severus smiled as he made his way out of Professor Slughorn's office. The Professor had just agreed to help him begin the process of applying for his Potion's Master Licensure this Saturday while everyone else was in Hogsmede. This accomplished two things, and he hoped desperately would also accomplish a third. First, it gave him a firm alibi for Saturday, he would be with a professor, and clearly unaware of what was occurring in Hogsmede. Secondly, it would ensure that Professor Slughorn, never one to pass up a trip to a bar, would not be in Hogsmede on Saturday. And thirdly, Snape had planted the idea in Slughorn's head to have Lily begin work on her licensure on Saturday as well. He was desperate that Lily not be in Hogsmede on Saturday for the bloodbath.

* * *

Professor Babbling who taught Ancient Runes glanced up at the two Slytherin students. Irving Wilkes, a seventh year, and Kennice Selwyn, a sixth year Prefect, who were both in her NEWT level classes for their respective years. Both, who were usually at the top of their respective classes, had done unnaturally poorly on their exams earlier in the week. Both were now standing before her asking for her help, asking that they be allowed to come in on Saturday, offering to give up their trips to Hogsmede, for additional help in understanding their material.

She hated to give up her own Hogsmede day, but if the two students who couldn't go but once a month were willing to make the sacrifice for the benefit of their education, well then she could certainly agree to stay behind them and give them the extra assistance. And so she agreed, heartily.

As they left the classroom, Selwyn and Wilkes shared sly smiles. They had accomplished their assignments from Snape. Professor Babbling would not be in Hogsmede on Saturday.

Kennice had a second task that Snape had trusted her with, but it would have to wait until Friday night.

* * *

Evan Rosier had failed to turn in two consecutive assignments to Professor Sinistra. He had also failed to show up for his detention with her. He sighed as he made his way out of her office. To say she had been angry would be an understatement. She had demanded that he stay on Saturday and make up his detention with her instead of going to Hogsmede. She had even taken the step of removing his name from Filch's list to make sure he couldn't sneak out. What a shame he thought sarcastically as he made his way down the hall. It seemed that Professor Sinistra would be missing a visit to Hogsmede on Saturday on account of him.

* * *

Potions class. It had always been one of Lily's favorite classes, but she couldn't help but feel that as of late things had become slightly uncomfortable in that dungeon. This shift in atmosphere had coincided with her beginning to date James, and she had more than a slight suspicion that the two things were related. Part of the problem was the seating arrangements.

Remus and Peter had both dropped potions following their fifth year, so James and Sirius were the only two Marauders in the class. They shared a table with Lily, Alice, and Frank. To the right of their table, was the Hufflepuff table of Aidan, Dorcas, Katie Finch, and Justin Fletchley. That table was not the problem. They were all on friendly terms with each other, even James and Aidan which Lily was relieved about.

The problems were to the left and to the front. The Ravenclaw's sat behind them and while Lily and Alice both found Terris Boot and his fellow prefect girlfriend Marlowe Fawcett to be more than a little annoying, they pretty much just ignored each other. But to the left, sat the Slytherins. All of them could be considered problematic, but one of them was particularly so. She felt Snape's eyes baring down upon her and James. And only slightly less discomforting was Professor Slughorn's sad eyes as his head swiveled between her and Snape, sometimes sighing exaggeratedly. She felt like she was a character in one of Petunia's ridiculous muggle soap operas, with Snape glaring at her and Slughorn sighing every few minutes.

* * *

Severus Snape hated James Potter, more so now than he ever had before. He wanted nothing more than to attack him at this very moment, wipe that smug smile right off his arrogant face. But, with the attack on Hogsmede looming he couldn't risk drawing any unwanted attention to himself. So instead, he just had to hope that the Dark Lord would take care of Potter for him on Saturday. If Snape had his way, James Potter would not be returning from Hogsmede on Saturday and soon he would have Lily back to himself, the way it was supposed to be.

* * *

Lily waited after class. Professor Slughorn had asked to speak with her about something. She had no idea what it could be about, and sincerely hoped he wasn't going to bring up her relationship with James. But with all his recent sighing, she really couldn't be sure.

"Ah, Lily, Lily, Lily," Professor Slughorn said as he made his way over to her. "I wanted to let you know about a special opportunity. On Saturday, instead of going to Hogsmede, I'm offering a few select students who I think have the ability to pursue their Master of Potion's License to come here and work on what they would want their research project to be on, begin the paperwork, and all of the other necessities to begin the process."

"Oh, wow," Lily said, not quite sure how to refuse without offending Professor Slughorn. "I'm flattered that you think I'm capable of such an esteemed process, but I'm not at all sure that I really want to obtain my licensure."

"Why ever not?" Professor Slughorn asked clearly baffled. "You're gifted at potions! One of the best I've ever taught."

"I'm sure it's something that I would be interested pursuing later, but to be honest right now my focus is more on what I can do in terms of the war. I've been talking to Madame Pomfrey about learning some emergency medicinal skills and stuff that could actually be of use to me and my friends."

"I see," Professor Slughorn said nodding. Lily could tell that he was attempting to gather his thoughts in order to launch a counter-attack.

"Well, thanks again, Professor for the opportunity. I better go though, I think James is waiting for me out in the hall we have some Head duties we have to take care of."

"Of course," Professor Slughorn said, sighing sadly once again.

* * *

"So how come you don't want to go ahead and look into this license thing?" James asked as he played with a string of Lily's hair in his hand. They were lying on the couch in the Head's common room, in front of the fire place. Lily's head was resting lightly on James' chest.

"I don't know," she said turning slightly to look up at him. "It just seems like a waste of time right now with everything that's happening. What good is a potion's license really going to do? I'm not exactly going to be able to brew a potion that's going to fix all the problems in the world right now."

"You'd be safer though," James said quietly.

"And you and Alice and Frank and Sirius and Remus and Peter and Aidan and everyone else I care about are going to be out there risking their lives! I'm not going to stand by and sit in some laboratory somewhere and be brewing potions while the rest of you are getting killed."

"Yeah well you can't blame me for wishing you would," James said with a smile.

"Yeah, but I wouldn't exactly be Lily Evans if I did that, now would I?" She replied turning completely to look down on him now.

"No, you wouldn't be. And I certainly wouldn't want that." He said pulling her lips down to his, and no more was said about her potion's license or anything else for quite a while.

* * *

Professor Vector sighed as she surveyed the student standing before her. Mulciber had been ill and missed the latest exam. She hated to seemingly punish the young man for being sick, but she simply could not avoid having him take the make-up exam on Saturday. She knew he would be upset at having to miss a trip to Hogsmede, and to be honest she was upset with having to miss a trip there herself, but work and school had to come first.

* * *

Kennice Selwyn put on her most winning smile, one that had earned her many admirers, as she knocked on Professor Flitwick's office door late on Friday afternoon.

"Miss Selwyn," Professor Flitwick exclaimed, "what a lovely surprise! What can I do for you this evening?" Kennice Selwyn was his best sixth year student; her knowledge of Charms was rivaled only by Lily Evans.

"Sorry to bother you, Professor," she said sweetly. "But something's been bothering me about the Aguamenti Charm."

"Come in, come in!" Professor Flitwick squeaked! "You know I always enjoy our theoretical discussions! I just wish you and Miss Evans could put those keen minds together," he said. And then seeing the look on her face added, "Of course, I know that Gryffindors and Slytherins avoid one another on principle, but still you and Miss Evans would have fascinating conversations."

"Would you like some candy Professor?" Kennice asked as she sat down. She knew he had a sweet tooth and would never refuse several pieces of his favorite candy while they chatted. She even planned on having a few herself, knowing that Snape was waiting for her in the Common Room with the antidote. "My mother sent them for me," she lied, "but I couldn't possibly eat all of them by myself."

"Why thank you!" Professor Flitwick said, helping himself to some of the candy. "These are my favorite!" She smiled, Snape's research had been accurate. "So what is it that is bothering you about the charm?"

"I just don't understand how magic can create water, but it can't create food because of Gamp's Law."

"Ah, an interesting question indeed! I will pose another question to you: What else is water, other than a form of nourishment?"

"An element," Kennice exclaimed. "Of course, I feel so silly for not seeing it! Magic can create fire so obviously it can create water!"

"Exactly," Professor Flitwick said with a smile. "And don't feel silly, only a keen mind could even think to ask such questions."

"Well thank you, Professor," Kennice said humbly. "I'll leave you some candy to snack on tonight."

She smiled as she made her way out into the corridor. She then made her way around the school carrying her big box of chocolate, making a point to offer it to a random mixture of students just as Snape had instructed. The potion within would metabolize throughout the night, by tomorrow morning those who had not taken the antidote brewed by Snape would manifest symptoms of a 24 hour stomach virus. No potion Madame Pomfrey gave them would work to cure it, it would just have to run its course and the Hogwarts matron would be forced to conclude it was just a nasty virus. Once the potion metabolized overnight, there would be no trace of it in their systems, either, so there would be no reason to suspect anything else.

She handed out the candy here and there, realizing that those who received her poisoned gift were in fact very lucky—their lives would be spared.

* * *

Walden MacNair smiled as he made his way out of Professor Kettleburn's office late Friday night. The Professor had forgotten, as always, to lock his door when he went to bed, just like he would discover very shortly that he had also "forgotten" to bolt the cages of both the fire crabs and the flesh-eating slugs. He would awaken to quite a surprise in an hour or so when both creatures had made their way up on to his bed. Oh dear, he thought to himself. It seems like Professor Kettleburn will have some new injuries by tomorrow morning. That man really should be more careful about remembering to lock things up. Too bad he won't be in any condition to go to Hogsmede tomorrow.

* * *

Mulciber was gifted at several things. The first was the imperious curse, but Snape hadn't wanted to risk that. The second was memory charms, specifically erasing or implanting fake memories. He was so gifted at this, that he could even implant memories in ghosts—and for that matter more importantly, poltergeists. He had waited for Peeves to come along, caught him in a trapping charm, and then implanted the necessary memories, before removing this memory from his mind. Mulciber thought it unlikely that Dumbledore would question the poltergeist, once the havoc was wreaked, most people would assume it was the result of Peeves, but just in case, Snape had wanted Peeves to be ready with a full confession.

* * *

The first act Peeves would be blamed for was in reality carried out by the Carrows. Once Madame Pince had gone to sleep, and Filch and the cat had been sedated, the Carrows had fun knocking over several bookshelves, smashing some tables in the library, and copying a Peeves trademark, writing rude words on the wall. Madame Pince never really went to Hogsmede, but no chances were being taken. She certainly wouldn't be going tomorrow; she would be busy all day cleaning this mess up.

* * *

"Peeves" also smashed up the Transfiguration Department, as well as smashing up two greenhouses; these tasks were in reality performed by Mulciber and Regulus Black, but no one needed to know that. The result being that on Saturday morning an irate Professor McGonagall and an irate Professor Sprout were both forced to conclude that they would not be going to Hogsmede.

* * *

Hagrid swept the floor of his hut eagerly. He couldn't wait until it was time for the students to make their way to Hogsmede. His new friend Walden was not going to Hogsmede today. He had owled Hagrid the other day and asked Hagrid to skip a trip to Hogsmede this Saturday. Apparently, Walden had managed to get his hands on a very rare and dangerous creature and wanted Hagrid's help to care for it. Hagrid didn't know yet what it was, because obviously that wasn't the type of thing you could put in writing, but Walden had been giving him little clues all week. Hagrid suspected that it was Graphorn. Graphorns lived in the mountains, though Hagrid had never been able to find one despite looking. Their skin was even tougher than dragons; they had two huge dangerous horns, and were considered some of the most dangerous land-dwelling of magical beasts. Hagrid hoped he had not misread the clues and gotten his hopes up for nothing. This would be well worth a missed trip to Hogsmede.

* * *

Lily woke up, excited for the first Hogsmede weekend. This would be her and James' first "official" date. She and Alice had spent quite a while planning out her outfit for today. She would be wearing jeans and a forest green peasant blouse that hung off her shoulder. The color mirrored the color of her eyes, and emphasized her bright red hair, and cream colored skin that was sprinkled with freckles across her shoulders. They had also decided she would wear her hair half-up, off her face (and her shoulders as Alice was adamant that it added to the sex appeal).

She couldn't keep the smile off her face as she showered, dressed, added a light amount of makeup, and fixed her hair. Today she would be spending the day with James Potter, her boyfriend. And that thought, was enough to keep the smile affixed on her face.

* * *

James grinned at his reflection in the mirror. He ruffled his hair once more, making sure it looked like he had just come off of his broom, and grabbed his jacket.

* * *

Regal made her way out of fifth year girls' dormitory and toward the seventh year one. She felt like a herd of raging centaurs were stampeding in her stomach. She had been waiting to go on a date with Peter for more than a year, and finally the day was here and she had no idea what to do. She knocked on the door, hoping very much that Daphne would help her to settle herself down.

"Hi Regal," Alice said as she opened the door.

"Hi Alice," Regal said.

"Are you excited for your date with Peter?"

"Sort of, more nervous," Regal answered honestly.

"Don't be, everything will be fine. Good luck, I've got to go make sure Lily is following my instructions on her appearance today," Alice said with a wink.

"Okay, good luck with that," Regal said laughing as well, as Lily wasn't exactly one to just follow orders.

"Hey sweetie," Daphne said as she emerged from behind her curtains where she had been dressing.

"You have to help me I'm freaking out!"

"Calm down, of course I'll help you. We already picked out your outfit earlier in the week, so why don't you go get it and bring it here and I'll help you get ready?"

"Thank you, thank you thank you!" Regal gushed.

"No problem," Daphne said with a smile.

"Regal, if you want I can do your nails for you while Daphne does your hair and makeup." Mary said sweetly from where she was sitting on her bed flipping through Witch Weekly.

"Are you sure it's no trouble?"

"Not at all," Mary said with a smile.

Daphne and Mary went to work on Regal. For her date with Peter she was wearing a royal purple knee length dress with long sleeves for the cool October day. Daphne brushed her hair out, applied her various Wonder Witch hair care products, until her hair resembled black silk. Mary painted her nails soft lavender borrowed from Daphne's collection.

Hestia wandered in just as Mary was finishing up Regal's nails.

"Oh my gosh!" Hestia enthused, "You look so pretty!"

"Thanks, Hess," Regal said, blushing slightly.

"Are you excited? I'm so excited!" Hestia said, bouncing as she plopped herself down on Daphne's bed.

"I think you're excited enough for both you," Daphne said with a grin.

"I can't help it! I've listened for two years to tales about Hogsmede and now I finally get to go and experience it myself!"

"So what are you most excited about?" Regal said, relieved to be talking about something other than her date with Peter for a few moments.

"I don't know… everything! I can't decide what I want to do first. Should I go to the Three Broomsticks, or to Honeydukes, or Zonkos, or the Shrieking Shack? Or maybe I could corner Augie and steer him into Madame Puddifoot's, or I could try the Hogshead. James and Sirius say lots of interesting things happen there."

"Whoa, back up there a minute Sparky," Daphne said, using her favorite nick name for Hestia who loved polka-dots, and when paired with her over-eager demeanor had led to Sirius once famously comparing her to a Dalmatian. "Since when are you and Pye an item again?"

"We're not," Hestia said slyly, "I'm just saying I wouldn't be opposed to getting a cup of tea with him."

"Sparky's got a lot more than tea on her mind," Regal said with a grin.

"Yup, she's eying 'Augie' like a fire hydrant," Daphne said with a smirk.

"Shut up!" Hestia said, shrieking with laughter and a little embarrassment as she threw a pillow from Daphne's bed.

"Oi!" Daphne said, "Don't mess up her hair that took me forever!" Mary, Hestia, and Regal all burst out laughing as Daphne attempted, but yet failed miserably, to look stern.

Daphne couldn't put into words her gratitude that she had Mary and Hestia and Regal here with her. She didn't doubt that the reason they were here, all of them together, keeping her busy, and making her laugh had every bit as much to do with the fact that James and Lily would be in Hogsmede together today, on a date, as it did with Regal's date with Peter. And for that, she was thankful.

* * *

James plopped down onto his old bed in Gryffindor Tower, checking to make sure that Sirius wasn't doing anything to make Peter more nervous than Peter undoubtedly was.

"Has he been behaving himself?" James asked quietly.

"About as well as could be expected, Remus has been watching him like a hawk." Frank replied with a smile.

"Oi! What are you two whispering about over there?" Sirius asked with a grin as he checked his own flawless reflection carelessly in the mirror.

"Just how beautiful we think you look," James said with an exaggerated wink.

"Well there's no denying that," Sirius replied cheekily.

"I'll see you lot later, have fun today." Frank said as he made his way out to meet up with Alice.

"I'm a bit surprised that someone that beautiful doesn't have a date today though," James said, addressing Sirius again.

"He thinks he has to babysit me since I don't feel all that great," Remus said with a shake of his head. The full moon was just a week or so away.

"I do not," Sirius said. "I just thought we'd have more fun observing the two set of couples today. See who was having more luck, Wormy or Prongs," he said with a laugh. And then turning to look at James added, "And if Wormy beats you I'm disowning you."

"Hey, I don't want you spying on me and Regal," Peter said exasperatedly from where he was finishing getting ready.

"It sounds like you'll be the one doing the babysitting, Moony." James said with a nod to Remus.

"Aren't I always," Remus said with a grin.

* * *

It was just about time to go, but Regal was stalling. Daphne and Mary shared a knowing look.

"Hey, Hestia why don't you and I head on down to Entrance Hall? That way you can be sure that you are all ready to experience your first Hogsmede trip," Mary said.

"Oh, okay, good idea," Hestia said. "I'll see you guys later, good luck Regal!"

"So, what's up?" Daphne said as she took a seat next to Regal.

"I'm just nervous," Regal said with a sigh.

"That's normal," Daphne said.

"My stomach feels like it's in knots and I feel like I can barely breathe."

"I know," Daphne said, "my stomach still feels like that sometimes when I look at James."

"I don't want to get hurt like you did," Regal said quietly.

"I thought that might be what was making you so somber," Daphne said, giving Regal a hug. "Listen to me Regal. My heart may be broken, but there is not a single second of my time with James that I would be willing to give back. You've liked Peter for a really long time; today you finally get to start living your dream. Don't let fear of getting hurt, or even," she said giving her friend a knowing look, "fear of letting me see you in love because you think it will only hurt me more, which it won't it will make me happy, stop you from enjoying today."

Regal was quiet for a moment, before giving Daphne a huge hug. Daphne could feel her relax and knew that she was going to be okay today.

"Thanks, Daphne," Regal said.

"It's what I'm here for, sweetie."

* * *

Severus Snape smiled with anticipation as he made his way into the dungeon classroom where he had agreed to meet Professor Slughorn to begin work on his licensure.

"Severus my boy," Professor Slughorn boomed in his typical jovial style.

"Professor," Snape nodded in greeting.

"Would you like to start by working on the paper work or by planning out what you want your research project to be?"

"Shouldn't we wait for Lily to get here before we begin?" Severus said as he tried to hide his anticipation of getting to see her on her own without Potter for the first time in so long.

"I'm afraid Miss Evans isn't coming today," Professor Slughorn said, shaking his head sadly. Severus felt as though a knife was slowly sinking into his chest.

"What?" he asked, his voice was almost a whisper.

"She isn't as committed to obtaining her license as she used to be, such a shame too. She said something about it not being useful in a time of war, as if learning could ever not be useful," he said not at all succeeding in masking his disappointment. "I saw her as I made my way out of the Great Hall this morning after a late breakfast; she was with Mr. Potter, on their way to Hogsmede." He appraised the boy in front of him and felt pity. He knew that Snape had feelings for Lily, and that hearing that she was on a date with another was certain to cause him pain. He patted him gently on the shoulder in what he hoped was a consoling gesture before muttering something about letting Severus look over all the paperwork while he retrieved something from his office. In reality he had everything he needed, but he just wanted to give the young man a bit of privacy at this difficult time.

Snape felt as if all the breath had been forced out of his lungs. She was going to be in Hogsmede during the attack. He had given the Dark Lord specific information about James Potter to bring about the boy's death, but now Lily would be by his side. He turned desperately to look at the clock; it was too late to do anything, even if he could. It would be up to Lily to get herself out of Hogsmede alive, his only hope was that she would impress his master with her bravery and he would spare her.

This was all Potter's fault. It was Potter's fault that she had wanted to spend the day in Hogsmede rather than with him working on their potion's license. It was Potter's fault that she was concerned about the war at all. It was Potter's fault, all of it.


	51. Chapter 51

"Moony, come on we're going to miss something important!" Sirius said exasperatedly as Remus examined several quills he was considering purchasing at Scrivenshaft's.

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe Prongs and Wormtail would like some privacy on their dates?"

"Of course," Sirius said with a shake of his head, "but where's the fun in that?" Remus rolled his eyes but nevertheless made his way to the counter to purchase the quills. He would be lucky if he could keep Sirius at their table in the Three Broomsticks, and prevent him actively interrupting either of their two best friends' dates.

The two continued to joke around as they made their way down the Hogsmede High Street toward the Three Broomsticks. After a moment Remus noticed that Sirius kept glancing around, as if he was looking for something.

"What's up?" Remus asked.

"I'm not sure," Sirius said. His serious tone caught Remus off guard, and brought him up short, turning to look at Sirius.

"What's bothering you?"

"I haven't seen a single teacher since we've been here. Obviously, it's something I keep an eye on out of habit to keep from getting caught up to something, but I haven't seen a single one."

Remus looked around himself at this point, switching in to Prefect mode, attempting to locate a teacher. When he saw none he started walking again, this time at a quicker pace.

"Come on," he said to Sirius, "let's go talk to Lily and James. I'm sure it's nothing but if for some reason there aren't any teachers in Hogsmede today then we need to make sure their aware of it."

* * *

Voldemort felt the controlled calm that always preceded murder. He had marshaled his Death Eaters within the Shrieking Shack and now it was time to begin.

* * *

Lily and James sat in a booth at the Three Broomsticks. Their lips had just met in a gentle but passionate kiss when they were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. Pulling apart they were met by the sight of Sirius and Remus sliding into the booth across from them.

"Bloody hell!" James exclaimed.

"Sorry mate," Remus said apologetically, "but we think something might be up."

"And we're not just talking about your…" Sirius began.

"Sirius, let's just tell them what we came to tell them and then let them get back to their date." Remus said cutting Sirius off.

"What's going on?" Lily asked.

"We can't find any teachers," Sirius said.

"That's impossible," James said, looking around the Three Broomsticks. He saw none. "Did Dumbledore say anything to you about being short-handed this weekend?" He asked Lily.

"Nothing," she replied, looking around as well.

"How do you want to handle it?" Remus asked.

"Handle what?" Alice said. She and Frank had been at their own table across the room and had seen Sirius and Remus join Lily and James. At first, just annoyed that the two boys were interrupting her best friend's date, Alice and Frank had quickly become concerned upon witnessing the serious expressions on all four teens' faces.

"We don't think any teachers are here today," Lily said, updating her friend.

"How is that possible?" Frank asked.

"It certainly strains credulity that it could happen on its own." James said quietly.

"So we think it was planned?" Sirius asked.

"I think it's a definite possibility," James nodded.

"But by who?" Lily asked.

"And to what end?" Remus asked.

"I think we should gather the Prefects who are here, and some other people that we trust," James said slowly. "We won't tell them we suspect anything out of the ordinary, we don't want to incite a panic, but we'll just say that several of the Professors had things come up and couldn't be here, so we're in charge and to be on alert."

"That's a good idea," Lily agreed. And so Lily and James, with the help of Remus, made their way around the bar pulling their slightly disgruntled Prefects away from their friends. Sirius, Alice, and Frank collected Donald Fletchley and Katie Finch and Peter and briefed them on what was going on, while Lily and James instructed the Prefects they could find. They weren't all there. The one thing that was in Lily and James' favor was that students had only just arrived at the Three Broomstick's about a half an hour earlier, many students went to the pub first to get a Butterbeer before doing their shopping, so at least there were several Prefects there.

Aidan and Dorcas were there, and Lily could tell by the way that Aidan's eyes widened and his brow furrowed that he could read between the lines of what James and Lily were saying, and no doubt was reaching the same conclusions they had in his mind. Eavan Madley, the sixth year Hufflepuff girl Prefect who Lily suspected liked Aidan, was also there; her counterpart Barclay Smith was, however, not present. Dirk Cresswell was there, standing beside Regal, both members of the Quidditch Team looking somber, and Lily wondered if they knew James well enough after years of Quidditch to read the concern deep in his eyes even though he tried to keep it hidden. On Dirk's other side stood his fellow sixth year Prefect, Harper Robins. Regal's partner, Jackson Peakes, was also there standing to her other side. The two fifth year Hufflepuff Prefects, Addison Abbot and Quinn Cadwallader, came into the Three Broomsticks moments later and seeing the group assembled joined them. Their hands were intertwined; apparently more than one couple's date today was going to be interrupted. The only Ravenclaw's present were fifth year boy, John Dawlish, and sixth year girl, Daisy Hookum. Gentry Baddock, the fifth year Slytherin girl's Prefect, who always reminded Lily of Petunia sat observing the group from where she sat with a few friends. Neither James nor Lily had approached her, not sure they wanted to alert any Slytherins to the fact that teachers were missing.

James and Lily had just finished their mini-briefing asking them to stay close and keep on alert when everything happened.

The texture of the air changed first. Several people gasped as the air suddenly seemed to feel as thick as paste and as solid as a wall. James glanced over at Sirius, saw he was attempting and failing to apparate, and immediately knew something bad had just happened. Before he could do any more than reach this conclusion in his head, they all heard several loud explosions, and a frightened Hufflepuff third year that neither James nor Lily knew, burst in through the door and yelled out in a terrified scream.

"Death Eaters and You-Know-Who! They're coming out of the Shrieking Shack! Blowing everything up!"

Lily and James' eyes met for a fraction of a second before both sprang into action. Lily flicked her wand casting the strongest locking charm she could on the door to give them seconds of preparation time. She tried desperately not to think about students caught out on the streets and promised herself that once she did everything she could to help and get to safety the students here in the Three Broomsticks, she would personally fight to the death to help every single one of those outside.

James motioned for Peter to come to him and whispered something frantically to him. Peter looked terrified, but after a moment nodded his head in agreement and James jumped up on the table to address the terrified and panic mass in the pub. He spoke into his wand tip, his voice magnified around the pub.

"Madame Rosmerta, is there another exit?" James asked, finding the bar matron with his eyes. She nodded and pointed down to the cellar where there was a door that led out to the field behind the pub. "Can you try and alert the Ministry and Dumbledore? I don't know if you'll be able to or not but I need you to try." She nodded once more and immediately made her way upstairs to where her fireplace was located.

"I need everyone to stay calm. It's going to be okay," he lied. "I need all fifth, sixth, and seventh year non-prefects to raise your hands." He glanced to the window where Sirius and Remus were positioned watching the chaos unfold, and knew he still had time, apparently as disgusting as the thought was, Voldemort was taking his time. "All third and fourth year students need to attach themselves to one of the students with their hands raised. We're going to get you out of here and back to Hogwarts." He watched while his orders were carried out quickly and calmly. "Okay, Peter," he said indicating Peter down below him, "is going to lead you all to a secret passage that will take you all back to the school. Please follow all of his instructions, just like you have mine. He'll make sure nothing happens to you. Good luck, we'll keep them off you as long as we can."

He hopped down off the table, shook Peter's hand and said in parting to his friend, "No matter what, don't let the Death Eater's through the tunnel."

"I won't," Peter said quietly. He hugged Regal and then made his way to the door leading down to the cellar with a group of about a sixty students following quickly and quietly behind him.

"What do you want the rest of us to do?" The voice belonged to Gentry Baddock, the lone Slytherin Prefect in the pub. The rest of the Prefects, including James and Lily, surveyed her for a moment, unsure of what to do. Seeing their hesitation she spoke again.

"You think I don't realize that I'm the only Slytherin Prefect here? The only one I've even seen in Hogsmede? Because I do. Look we don't have time for this prejudicial crap! Just because I'd rather not associate with mudbloods and blood traitors doesn't mean that I think kids ought be getting slaughtered! Let me help!"

She was right, they didn't have time for this, and they were outnumbered.

"Go catch up with Peter," Lily spoke up. "Go first through the secret passageway, and get word to Dumbledore, just in case Madame Rosmerta was unable to get through. Then go as fast as you can to Madame Pomfrey, tell her to set up a triage station at the exit of the passageway. We're going to have injuries."

Gentry nodded and was gone.

"Right," James continued, "Dirk and Harper I want you two to cut through the field and head back to toward the Hogshead, Dervish and Bangs, and the other shops in that area. Hookum and Dawlish, you two go with them. Evacuate as many students as you can, and get them to the secret passageway. You'll see Peter there, but look for a largest tree in the middle of the field. Aidan, I need you to lead Regal, Jackson, Eavan, Addison, and Quinn out onto the main street and try and get to Honeydukes, the Post Office, Zonkos, and the rest. If you can, try and get find the other Prefects, tell them the plan. We're going to need help."

"James, Frank, Alice and I will try to hold him off as long as we can, give you all a fighting chance," Lily spoke up again. James turned to look at her. He had been planning on leaving that job for him, Sirius, and Remus, but a look in her eyes told him it was pointless to argue; besides they didn't have time.

"Remus and I will get your flanks, try and keep the Death Eaters off of you, so you only have to worry about him," Sirius spoke up.

"We'll do the same," Dorcas said, indicating herself and Katie Finch and Donald Fletchley.

"Thank you," Lily said.

"Good luck," James said, "to all of you."

* * *

Voldemort was amused by the running, shrieking townspeople and students of Hogwarts as they ran this way and that attempting to flee but having nowhere to run. Parents with young children who lived in the town were scooping up their children, attempting to apparate, only to find that impossible. Those that made it inside to their fireplaces would find that a worker for the Department of Magical Transportation, under the Imperius Curse, had disconnected all of Hogsmede's fireplaces from the Floo Network. Both communication with the outside world, and escape, would be impossible. They would resort to the only thing left to them, cowering and sniveling, attempting to hide their children, and wait to die.

Of course they could also fight, but then they would surely die.

His Death Eaters were creating chaos, setting houses and stores ablaze, sending curses flying here and there; and this was only the beginning. There were more Death Eaters hidden elsewhere, waiting to corner the rest of Hogsmede's population.

* * *

James, Lily, Alice, and Frank stood behind the Three Broomsticks. They were giving Sirius and Remus, who would be taking the left side, and Dorcas, Katie, and Donald, who would be taking the right, the chance to move into place. They heard the screams all around them of students and townspeople alike and knew what was facing them on the other side of the building.

"Potter!" They looked up. Madame Rosmerta was looking down at them with pity in her eyes from her upstairs window. "I can't get through to anyone! They've disconnected the Floo Network!"

"Damn it," Frank swore under his breath.

"Thank you," James said.

"I'll keep trying, just in case the Ministry gets it back on," she said desperate to give them some hope. They all four nodded, knowing that the situation was pretty hopeless. "Use the rubbish bins," she whispered a moment later.

"What?" Alice and Lily both asked, startled.

"You'll need something to give you coverage," Madame Rosmerta explained. "You can use mine back there, as well as those from behind the Post Office, that way you have somewhere to duck spells."

"Thank you," all four teens said again, looking up. Lily and Alice summoned the garbage cans, maneuvering them into place on either side of the pub. Their hope was that by splitting up and getting Voldemort in their crossfire, maybe they could hold him off long enough to get everyone out alive. They held no such allusions about their own lives. Four teens were no match for the most powerful dark wizard ever. But they didn't cry as they said their goodbye's moments later and moved to take their positions. Lily and Alice shared quick hugs; Frank and James shook hands.

"Right, well, it's four against one," James said as they broke apart.

"I like those odds," Frank said with a small smile.

"It'll be a cakewalk," Alice said sharing one last wink with her best friend.

"Easy as pie," Lily said, winking back at her best friend.

And then they walked away from each other and didn't look back, never once thinking they would ever see each other alive again. James and Lily took up their position on the left; Frank and Alice took their place on the right. And it was time.

* * *

Gentry took a deep breath as she stood by the dark hole that dropped from the opening in the massive tree trunk to the secret passageway below.

"How far down is it?" She asked, Peter. She hated closed off spaces, and this darkness was really getting to her nerves.

"About five feet," Peter responded. "It's more of a slide than a direct drop, it's a slope."

"Right," she nodded. "And where's it come out?"

"Fourth floor corridor," Peter answered. She nodded once more.

"Good luck," she said turning to look at him before stepping forward and sliding down the chute.

"Thanks," Peter whispered to the empty space, before turning around to the group of students he had led to this place. He was amazed that they had stayed calm, but he supposed that it was because James had remained so calm in instructing them, and then he had stayed calm leading them to this place. But James had given him no instructions on how to go about the evacuation, so from this point on it was just Peter. Would they listen to him? He didn't know, but he had to try. All of his friends were fighting, quite possibly dying right now to give him time to protect these people; he would not let them down.

"I need everyone to step aside, and let all the Third Years come up first," he said. "We're going to get them out of here first, as they're the youngest."

Amazingly, they listened. People moved to the side, allowing the third years to come up, some quickly, others timidly, afraid to leave behind older siblings or friends, and one by one began to slide down the chute and make their way back to Hogwarts and safety.

* * *

It may have been four against one, but the one was one of the most powerful and talented wizards to have ever lived. James could think of only one more powerful, and he was currently out of range, so they were on their own.

But the four were nothing if not brave and determined. They would fight with everything they had.

Voldemort laughed when he saw his four would-be challengers. Four children, but he was not surprised by who they were. James Potter was predictable, as brave and noble as his idiotic parents. The girl with him was a face he had seen many times in the mind of Severus Snape: the mudblood Lily Evans. The other two he wasn't as sure of, but he thought he recognized the boy as an Auror recruit. But it mattered not in reality who any of them were, for they did not have long to live. He might consider sparing the mudblood, as a reward for Severus' success in leaving Hogsmede defenseless, but that would depend on how much trouble she caused.

He registered briefly that none of them looked more than a little scared, more than anything else they were determined. Bravery, Gryffindors were always the same…fools. He raised his wand, ready to attack them, but they were ready for him as well.

He sent one of his waves of flame flying toward them. Several had already engulfed parts of the village. But the little children knew how to play with adults. James Potter slashed his wand through the air, causing it to ripple, and a wall of water extinguished the flames, before cascading down toward Voldemort. He vanished the wave with a mere flick of his wand, but his almost non-existent lips curved into a slight smile. This would be fun.

A lasso of flames shot out from the unknown girl's wand to capture him, he felt it burn for a brief moment before turning it into a serpent that turned around to attack the girl. Her cohort, the would-be Auror, dissolved it into smoke, before using the smoke to create a twister of sorts to come spinning back toward Voldemort.

He vanished it, but was then forced off balance, something he was not accustomed to. Any manners of objects, from small roof shingles to heavy stone sculptures were flying at him in rapid speed succession. Severus had been correct; his redheaded mudblood was prodigious at charms.

* * *

Aidan gasped as he turned out onto the High Street. Fire, chaos and destruction were everywhere. He had broken the Prefects into groups of two before beginning and had given each pair a starting assignment to keep things as orderly as possible, and as efficient, because no one was really sure how long Lily, James, Alice, and Frank would be able to hold of Voldemort. They couldn't afford wasted time. He turned to look at them. All of them, himself included, were just children, and scared children at that, but none of them were turning and running. They stood behind him, ready to fight, knowing death was the probable outcome.

"Remember, think of a few curses, jinxes, spells right now, so you don't have to think when the time comes. Good luck," he said. And then they broke apart.

* * *

Regal and Jackson took Gladrag's first. Hidden in the back of store, crouched terrified were several fifth and sixth year Ravenclaws. They managed to get them safely back across the street and to the meadow, where they gave them instructions on how to find Peter and the secret passageway, and wished them luck, before heading back into danger.

* * *

Addison Abbot and Quinn Cadwallader evacuated the Post Office, and found fifth year Ravenclaw girl Prefect Adair Ogden, and filled her in on the plan. She stayed with them, joining them in their efforts to evacuate others.

* * *

Aidan and Eavan made their way down the High Street; their plan was to get to Madame Puttifoot's where they knew they would find Terris Boot and Marlowe Fawcett. But they didn't make it that far. They had just reached the intersection, spotted Boot and Fawcett running up the side street, clearly having realized something was amiss, when the world dissolved one more into chaos.

Thirty to forty Death Eaters were emerging from seemingly nowhere, cutting them off from Terris and Marlowe and the rest of Hogsmede. They were caught in the crosshairs between one set of Death Eaters and Voldemort, and this new second wave.

* * *

Sirius and Remus had their hands full. Each boy was currently dueling three separate Death Eaters. They had masks on, but both boys knew at least one of their attackers. Remus had seen the white blonde hair beneath the hood, and knew he was facing Lucius Malfoy, as well as two other unknown assailants, whereas Sirius was positive that he was dueling both of the Lestrange brothers, Rodolphus or Rabastan, which made him uneasy. His cousin was here somewhere.

Dorcas, Katie, and Donald were having no easier time with the other Death Eaters. Each of them was also dueling three, and there were more who were hidden casting spells this way and that, causing all five teens some very near misses.

But unlike their four friends, they were not fighting alone. Townspeople were shooting spells down from their windows; some had even joined the fight on the street. They were brave enough to take on Death Eaters, but could not bring themselves to confront the evil menace that was Voldemort.

* * *

Despite flying objects, stampeding trash bins (James Potter was as good in Transfiguration as he had heard), and a barrage of curses from all four teens, they had only succeeded in preventing Voldemort from gaining the upper hand on them. Even with all of their efforts, he was every bit a match for them.

And he was fighting back. With the force of a sonic boom he had blasted out windows, sending glass and debris toward his challengers. Frank had managed to block most of it, but Lily was hit by several large pieces as she rose to send a curse flying back toward Voldemort, earning her several deep gashes on her head, neck, and arms.

"Lily!" James yelled out, as Lily sank down behind the rubbish bins.

"I'm okay," she said. "Just a flesh wound."

They looked at each other for a moment. Neither said it, but each was taking a moment, a brief moment in the heat of battle, to memorize the other's face, to take the other completely in, because both were sure that it would be the last time.

* * *

Dirk Cresswell and Harper Robins had made their way through the meadow and out onto the side street where the Hogshead was located. They were immediately met by the second wave of Death Eaters. Battles were being waged all around them. Dirk briefly caught sight of Daphne and Mary each battling a pair of Death Eaters outside of the Hogshead, as well as the bartender of the pub who was battling an impressive five Death Eaters. A moment later he and Harper were also drawn into combat against their own group of Death Eaters. He heard Harper yell for Dawlish and Hookum to continue on and try and get to Dervish and Bangs, which was currently cut off by the Death Eater onslaught, but whether or not they made it, he did not know.

* * *

Daphne was fighting in an almost manic state. She had no doubt in her mind where James was. She had known the moment that word of the attack had reached them. She and Mary had gotten caught by the second wave of Death Eaters as Daphne had been racing to try and get to James, with Mary attempting to pull her to safety. She knew James would be facing Voldemort, and her heart felt squeezed to breaking point as she considered James, and for that matter Lily, and whoever else might be with them, facing that monster. She wanted nothing more than to protect him, but she had no way of reaching him now, surrounded as she was by her own band of Death Eaters.

* * *

Terris Boot couldn't quite believe what was unfolding before his very eyes, what was in fact happening to him. It had been a normal day in Hogsmede when Marlowe saw the smoke rising against the sky from their table at Madame Puddifoot's. She had insisted they go check it out, and as soon as they were outside he knew it had been the right decision. The sounds of screams, shouts, curses, explosions were echoing everywhere within the town. He hadn't known at the time what was happening but he had known that it wasn't good. He and Marlowe had taken off running toward the High Street when they caught sight of Aidan and Eavan. And then there were the Death Eaters.

Now, he and Marlowe were still fighting the Death Eaters. He was dueling two, she at the moment was dueling three. They were back to back, so he couldn't see her, but her presence was nevertheless reassuring as they faced death so surely. He had no idea what had happened to anyone else. He could hear that other battles were going on, knew that Aidan and Eavan must also be fighting this same horde of Death Eaters, but with the smoke from the burning buildings, and keeping up with his own combatants, the only thing he knew of for certain was that Marlowe was right behind him, everything else was extra.

* * *

Regal and Jackson had made it back across the High Street once again, something that was becoming increasingly difficult because of the advancing second wave of Death Eaters. But they had to get to Honeydukes.

"Regal!" Hestia exclaimed, relief flooding her face as she peaked around the corner of one of the candy displays, behind which she had been hiding.

"Hess!" Regal said, running over to her. "Are you alright? You're not hurt?" She questioned, looking the younger girl over.

"No, we were all in here when the attack started. We hid, we've been so afraid." Hestia said, indicating the group of Third Years, mostly Gryffindors with some Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and even several Slytherins.

"Of course you were, you were all just enjoying your first trip to Hogsmede when all this happened," Jackson said, shaking his head in anger that a moment this group of kids had undoubtedly looked forward to for years could be so tarnished.

"Everything is going to be okay now," Regal said. "We're going to get you all back to Hogwarts."

"Can't we just stay here?" a rather small looking Hufflepuff boy asked meekly.

"I'm afraid not," Jackson said. "The Death Eaters are advancing, torching places as they go. We need to get you all out of here."

"It's a big group," Regal said turning to Jackson. He knew what she was thinking, it had been difficult on this last crossing to get the two of them across the street, how could they safely convey this group of twenty or so third years across.

"Yeah, it is," he agreed.

"Who knows a curse or a jinx?" Regal asked suddenly. "It doesn't have to be particularly dangerous, just something you could use if you needed to."

The group of students each raised their hands, slowly, still looking slightly afraid and unsure. Only Hestia's hand shot up unquestioningly. She had known the moment Regal came through the door that everything was going to be okay.

"Good," Regal said. "I want you to think of your most powerful spell, the one you can do at a moment's notice," she said remembering Aidan's advice. "And if something happens you cast that spell and you keep casting it, don't stop. Jackson and I are going to cover you until you all get across the street. Once you make it to the other side, run as fast as you can until you come to a big tree in the meadow. Peter Pettigrew will be there, just do exactly as he tells you. Any questions?"

There weren't any—just a bunch of scared looking kids, taking out their wands as if for the first time.

"Good," Jackson said. "Move as quickly as you can, we'll keep them off of you as long as possible."

Regal and Jackson peered out the window of the sweets store. For the moment it looked clear, but they knew it would not remain so. They nodded to one another and stepped out back into the battle. It was mere moments before both were engaged in combat with Death Eaters, but the trapped third years were able to begin running past.

"Stupefy!" Regal shouted. Her curse hit its mark. She turned slightly to see how many more third years were left to make it across. It was only Hestia and a few others. She motioned for them to come on.

"Regal!" Jackson shouted. She turned just in time to see him dive in front of her. The Death Eater that he had been battling had taken her momentary distraction as an opportunity. Jackson hadn't had time to block the curse, so instead had taken the curse himself. She felt his blood splatter, hot across her face. She fell to her knees, pulling him to her, despite the fact that the battle was continuing. She didn't care that she had dropped her wand, none of it mattered. The only thing that did was that Jackson had been hit with a terrible curse, causing his insides to bubble and slowly come out of him. She'd heard of this type of spell before, an entrails-expelling curse. They were nearly always fatal unless the victim got help almost immediately. She saw out of the corner of her eye the wand of the attacker raised, poised to kill her, but she stayed where she was, whispering comfort to Jackson.

"Sectumsempra!" Regal turned, shocked, to look at a white-faced Hestia as her spell hit its target, causing the Death Eater to fall to the ground gushing blood of his own.

For a moment Regal could only remember and be thankful for the day after Quidditch Practice, right after the disappearance of Bertram Aubrey, when James and Sirius had made her and Hestia stay after in order to teach them that spell. They had emphasized it was a dark spell, something they were fairly certain had been created by Snape himself, and only to be used in life-threatening situations. They had taught them because after what happened to Aubrey James and Sirius wanted to make sure she and Hestia had known how to defend themselves.

"Is he okay?" Hestia said, still chalk white as she knelt down next to Regal.

"He's going into shock," Regal answered as she continued to wipe away the sweat off of Jackson's brow and whisper comforting words to him. He wasn't gushing blood any longer which she hoped was a good sign, but all of his organs were now visible outside his body and his breaths were coming in short gasps from the pain. If he was going to live, they had to get him back to Hogwarts immediately. "We've got to try and move him."

"How?" Hestia said, she looked a little green now, but Regal noted the determination in her face, she wasn't going to leave.

"We'll levitate him, that way we don't jostle him as much," Regal reasoned.

"Okay," Hestia agreed. She still had her wand in hand so she cast the spell, while Regal grabbed her wand back up off the ground and walked by the side of Jackson's floating body, continuing to care for him. Hestia followed closely behind, holding her wand as steady as possible.

The second attack came out of nowhere. A Death Eater from the first wave had broken through the defenses and had come charging out onto the High Street from in between buildings. Regal turned as she saw the Death Eater out of the corner of her eye and raised her wand.

"Hestia, keep going!" She yelled out, knowing Jackson didn't have long. She slashed her wand through the air, and the Death Eater did the same. They both moved, barely missing the spells that had come toward them. Regal kept casting, her only thought on Hestia getting Jackson back to Hogwarts. She kept casting even though at some point she realized it was a losing battle; the Death Eater had prolific skills, and it was taking every bit of her five years of magical education just to keep him or her at bay. The fight continued on.

She saw the green light from the spell as it exited her attacker's wand. She bad a brief second of clarity, knowing what was coming, she turned her head slightly, making eye contact with the heart shaped face of Alice Fortescue. The last thing she was aware of in this life was Alice raising her own wand and casting a spell at her murderer. And then Regal Shacklebolt fell to the ground—dead.

* * *

"No," Alice breathed as she saw the light extinguished from Regal's eyes as she fell to the ground. Alice sent another curse flying toward Regal's murderer.

"Alice, get down!" Frank said frantically, pulling at her, trying to get her back behind the cover of their rubbish bins before she got hit by one of Voldemort's spells. Frank spent another curse careening toward Voldemort, just as Alice seemed to come back to her senses and returned back to their cover.

Voldemort blocked the curse with such power that the force sent a wave of energy careening back toward Alice and Frank. Frank seemed to watch in slow motion as Alice was knocked backward, airborne for a brief moment, before crashing into the ground.

"Alice!" Frank screamed, as he leaned down over her. He heard spells continuing to explode and knew that Lily and James were continuing to fight. His heart began to beat again, as Alice stirred slightly coming to. The force of impact had just knocked her out for a brief moment.

"I'm okay, get back to the fight," Alice said seriously, "we can't leave Lily and James on their own."

"I know," Frank said, kissing her quickly on the head anyway, before returning to the fight. Alice too returned to the fight, only now she remained on the ground, and shot spells through the cracks between the rubbish bins, as her head was still making her feel quite dizzy and she didn't think moving was the best of ideas.

* * *

Gentry Baddock was huffing and puffing as she reached the end of the passage way and emerged in the fourth floor corridor of Hogwarts. The castle had never looked better. She took one deep breath and then took off running again towards Dumbledore's office, ignoring the searing pains in her side.

She was running so hard she nearly collided with the gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's study.

"Chocolate Frogs," she breathed heavily, just managing to pull herself onto the staircase as it made its way up to the office door.

"Enter," she head Dumbledore call after her knock.

"Professor!" Gentry breathed heavily.

"Miss Baddock, is everything alright?" Dumbledore said, rising at once, clearly alarmed at the disheveled appearance of one of his prefects.

"You-Know-Who and his Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmede right now! James and Lily are trying to fight him off. You can't apparate or dissapparate out of there. We're trying to evacuate students through this passageway but I don't know how long Lily and James can hold him off."

"I understand," Dumbledore said moving quickly. "Take a couple deep breaths and then I need you to go to Madame Pomfrey and take her to the exit of this passageway. She'll need to contact the Ministry and St. Mungo's as well. I must gather up the teachers and find another way into Hogsmede." And then he was gone.

* * *

Lily, James, Alice and Frank continued on in their battle against Voldemort. All four had sustained injuries, with Lily's wounds still bleeding, Alice still feeling dizzy making her think it likely she had some sort of concussion, while James had been singed by one of Voldemort's fire spells, and had been hit hard in the side by some flying debris. But they continued to fight.

Voldemort was impressed, and he was not easily impressed. It was a shame they were all so committed to their silly cause, because all of them, including Snape's mudblood, would have made valuable additions to his forces.

* * *

Aidan had just succeeded in capturing a Death Eater in a net he had conjured when he heard her scream. He turned just in time to see Eavan crumble to the ground. A Death Eater was advancing on her. He raised his wand without thinking and sent the most powerful stunning spell he had ever cast at the Death Eater, who fell instantly to the ground. He continued to fire spells out of his wand as he ran to where Eavan had fallen.

Tears were streaming down her face which was contorted from the pain. One look at her legs revealed the problem. They had both been completely crushed by whatever spell the Death Eater had attacked her with. She wouldn't be able to move, and leaving her was out of the question as she was an easy target now. He reached down pulling her into his arms.

"Cover my back," he said to her as he took off running for cover. Still firing spells from his wand to keep attackers at bay.

They took cover in Honeydukes. He bolted the door and then carried her to the back of the store.

"You should go," she said, breathing heavily from the pain. "If they find us you'll be cornered."

"Don't be silly," he said sitting down beside her as he continued to watch the door with his wand raised, "I'm not about to leave you here defenseless."

"I'm not defenseless, I have my wand just like you have yours," she said, although they both knew that being immobile would hamper her ability to defend herself.

"Two wands are better than one," he said simply. He looked over at her. Her face was losing color by the second. "Lie back," he instructed. "That way if you pass out you won't hit your head."

"Okay," she said easing herself down onto the floor.

"Don't worry, I won't leave you," Aidan said as her eyes started to glass over and what little color remained drained from her face.

"I know," she whispered, her words were starting to fade and slur together as she began to slip from consciousness, "I love you," she said a moment later. "Just in case I die, I wanted you to know."

He turned once again to look at her, but she had finally given up her fight to stay aware and had lost consciousness. Had he heard her right? She loved him? Surely it was just the coma and the fear of death talking? Wasn't it?

* * *

It was slow moving, attempting to levitate Jackson across the meadow, and get him to the secret passageway back to Hogwarts. Hestia kept moving despite the fact that she felt completely numb. Despite Regal's instructions to go and not stop, she had looked back, and she knew that Regal was dead. She wished more than anything that she could curl up into a ball and let the pain just wash over her, but Jackson was dying and Regal had died to make sure that Jackson lived, so she would not let her down.

"Hestia!" It was Augustus Pye. "Merlin!" he exclaimed. "What happened to Jackson?"

"It was a curse. You have to help me. We have to get him back to Hogwarts before he dies."

"Okay," Pye said nodding, "the passageway is just up here. Peter said he hadn't seen you yet so I wanted to find you." He raised his wand pointing it at Jackson's floating limp form, and whispered, "locomotor."

"Thanks, we haven't really learned that one yet," Hestia said.

"No problem," Augustus said as they made their way, now more quickly toward the passageway.

"What happened to him?" Peter said, his eyes growing wide as he took in the sight of Jackson's mangled body. And then a second later a thought occurred to him. "Where's Regal?" He asked frantically, "Surely she and Jackson were together?"

Hestia was quiet for a moment and then she did the only thing she could at this moment, she lied. "She's still fighting." It was what Regal would have expected of her. Peter still had a job to do, had to make sure that no Death Eaters got through to Hogwarts, he couldn't be distracted by grief right now. He would find out soon enough.

"Right," Peter said, nodding clearly relieved.

"Okay, I'll go down first, and then you two can lower Jackson down to me," Pye said speaking up.

They got Jackson down into the tunnel as gently as they could and then began yelling for people to move aside and started on their way back to Hogwarts as quickly as they could manage.

* * *

In a tree not far from the one where Peter stood shepherding students in the passageway back to Hogwarts, sat Barty Crouch Jr. high up in the branches, out of sight. He had headed for the tree the moment the attack had begun. He had not been about to go anywhere near that fight. After all, he was the son of one of the most important men in the country. He was worth quite a lot to Death Eaters.

But as he sat up in his branches his emotions began to shift from one of fear, to one of wonder and awe. He had never seen such sheer power as he witnessed in the Dark Lord. Barty was powerful, he knew it. But here was power he could never have imagined. But he imagined it now. And he wanted it.

* * *

Sixth year Hufflepuff male Prefect, Barclay Smith, had been in Dervish and Bangs when the attack began. He had quickly met up with Daisy Hookum and John Dawlish and they were now each battling three Death Eaters, in an attempt to break through and get the fifteen to twenty Hogwarts students under their protection to safety. The students were crouched behind them hiding behind this and that, waiting for a chance, any chance to run for the meadow, but so far despite the fact that Barclay, Daisy, and John had been battling for going on half an hour, there had been no such chances.

* * *

Professor Caradoc Dearborn felt like he was being ripped into shreds. He had seen the smoke and run for the village down the mountain trail he had been hiking, running so fast he had failed to note the force field surrounding the village until he ran right directly into it, getting knocked back off his feet. But that had not stopped him. He could see what was happening. He could see his students, five in particular, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Dorcas Meadowes, Katie Finch, and Donald Fletchley, battling Death Eaters.

He tried every spell he could think of to try and break through the force field. He tried vanishing it, transfiguring it, moving it, everything from likely options to completely ludicrous, but nothing worked. And then he tried it all again. He was near sobbing with desperation, watching his students, fighting the very deadliest dangers he was supposed to protect them from. It was in his very job title: Defense Against the Dark Arts. Well the Dark Arts were here, but he couldn't get to his students to defend them.

* * *

Dorcas Meadowes was knocked off balance by the force of a curse sent careening toward her that she just barely missed. But the second it took her to right herself was a second too long.

"CRUCIO!" A Death Eater shouted at her.

The pain was like nothing she had ever experienced. She heard terrible noises, only vaguely aware that she was the one who was making them as she screamed and thrashed as the pain continued to contort her body.

Sirius, Remus, Donald, and Katie all turned as Dorcas' screams filled the air. They were all busy dueling their own crop of Death Eaters, and unable to get to her.

* * *

"No!" Professor Dearborn sobbed as he watched Dorcas' body twist and spasm under the Cruciatus Curse. He felt dead inside. He had failed them.

* * *

Sirius felt rage like he had never felt as he heard Dorcas' screams. It was what had happened to Andromeda all over again, and damn it he would not lose someone else to that awful spell. Magic burst from his wand in his rage, he wasn't even aware of casting a spell; knocking each of the three Death Eaters he was dueling off their feet. Before they could begin to rise again to engage him, he had taken off running, sending spells firing at the Death Eater attacking Dorcas.

Dorcas was aware of the pain ceasing and then nothing else as she slipped into unconsciousness.

* * *

Harper Robins fell to the ground, her left leg and arm still on fire, the results of a Confringo curse explosion and resulting fireball. Dirk Cresswell turned toward her, pointing his wand at her and casting the Aguamenti charm to put the fire out. He rushed toward her side. Her skin more closely resembled a charred piece of coal rather than flesh. She had been burned badly and the pain was excruciating. But stronger even than the pain was her desire to live. She would not die. She made this commitment not only for herself and her family, but for Dirk's as well. Because one thing was certain, their fates were tied together. If one of them went down, the other would almost certainly fall as well, overwhelmed by the Death Eater onslaught. And so despite the terrible pain she was in, when the Death Eater yelled for Dirk to stop and raise his hands in the air, she smiled at him. They hadn't hurt her wand hand.

Dirk did as he was instructed; his back to the Death Eater was unable to see the smile spread across his face. As he raised his arms, Harper shot off a spell right at the Death Eater with his wand pointed at Dirk.

'Stupefy!"

Dirk wasted no time pulling Harper to her feet, and they were up fighting again. Each of them casting spells at their various attackers, determined to survive.

One Death Eater ran at Harper. She fired off a curse but he blocked it. And so in a moment of absolute terror, as the Death Eater closed in on her, she did the first thing that came to her mind. She clocked him, right in the nose. The force of her impact, not to mention the shock, knocked the Death Eater to the ground. Harper then cast the spell again, leaving the Death Eater petrified.

"Forget how to use your wand?" Dirk asked as he sent another curse flying toward his own Death Eater.

"Just keeping things interesting," Harper called back. "Besides, I had important shopping to do today and these bastards are interfering, not to mention my arm and leg hurt like hell, so I'm a wee bit pissed off!"

Dirk laughed, before elbowing another Death Eater in the gut, and then imprisoning him in an enchanted net.

"You're right, that does feel good."

* * *

Gentry helped Madame Pomfrey and the emergency healers from St. Mungo's set up their supplies. So far, the students who had made it back to Hogwarts were those evacuated by she and Peter from the Three Broomsticks. She had directed them down to Mr. Filch, where he checked them off of a list of students who had been in Hogsmede, and then sent them to the Great Hall.

But slowly injured students began to arrive. At first, they were just minor injuries, scrapes from falling in the dark passageway or cuts or minor abrasions from flying debris.

And then there was Jackson Peakes. Gentry didn't know him. She only knew his name because he was Prefect, a fifth year Prefect just like her. And as she watched from the side, standing next to the two members of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team whose names she didn't know, she felt certain that despite their efforts to get him here, he would die. A moment later, he disappeared with a healer, on an emergency portkey to St. Mungo's, and she felt sure that she would never see the boy alive again.

* * *

Something had gone wrong. Severus had known it the moment Professor Slughorn had been summoned by Dumbledore. Somehow, Dumbledore had learned of the attack. Which meant someone, had either talked, or had found a way to get word to Dumbledore. Whoever it was, that person would surely die as a result.

* * *

Dumbledore and the other teachers, those well enough to come as poor Professor Flitwick was still very much incapacitated, made their way through another of Hogwarts secret passageways. Mr. Filch had directed them to this one, so they could make their way to Hogsmede unimpeded by the exodus of evacuating students. He didn't know how the students had found the passageway, but he had a sneaking suspicion that four seventh year Gryffindors might have had something to do with it. He had often had reason to suspect that they had an intimate knowledge of more than just the one secret passageway guarded by the whomping willow. Yet he could not be angry, because today that knowledge, however illicitly it had been obtained had saved many lives.

Lily, James, Frank, and Alice continued to fight. They had reason to hope that the majority of students had been evacuated. The only students they could see were their comrades who were still battling Death Eaters. But they had no way of signaling them to retreat, and if they were honest retreat was no more a part of their friend's makeup than it was of their own. There would be no retreats. They would die fighting.

And then something changed. Voldemort looked scared for the first time. Lily, James, Frank, and Alice all turned to see what had affected this change. Coming from the side street beside the Three Broomsticks, out onto the main street, was Albus Dumbledore.

"We're saved," James breathed.

Lily looked at him, tears of relief filling her eyes, and pulled him back down behind the dustbins, kissing him with more intensity than she ever had, desperate with relief of those just given a reprieve from death.

On the other side of the building, Frank and Alice were also embracing.

Voldemort for his part sent a curse flying towards Dumbledore, which the other deflected. Dumbledore sent a curse flying back towards Voldemort which he too deflected. A moment later there were pops as Voldemort and his Death Eaters began to dissapparate, having released their charm on the atmosphere of Hogsmede.

They were gone and the attack was over. But much death and destruction had been left in their wake.


	52. Chapter 52

A/N: The previous chapter was incredibly difficult to write because I wanted to get it right. I had planned it and planned it, and I wanted to do it justice. This chapter is difficult for an entirely different reason. I hesitated writing it for a while because after what happened in Aurora, CO, it just didn't feel right to write about the aftermath of an imaginary massacre, in the wake of a very real one. So , now as I sit back down to write the tale of fictional characters dealing with loss, fear, and the overwhelming situation they've been thrust into, I dedicate this chapter to all the real people doing the same, and to all those whose lives were lost.

* * *

Chaos and destruction were everywhere in Hogsmede as Lily, James, Frank, and Alice emerged from behind the dustbins that had successfully kept them safe. Lily and Alice latched onto one another, hugging each other more fiercely than they ever had before, each one crying softly as the reality of situation they had just survived weighed down on them.

Professor McGonagall converged on where the four of them were standing.

"Are any of you seriously hurt?" she asked surveying them. "Healers are on the way right now." After assuring herself that all four teens only had minor injuries, she surveyed them once again, tears threatening to spill over her eyes.

"I have never been so proud of any students as I am today," she said. "Your actions go beyond bravery; you saved lives today, at the risk of your own. Professor Dumbledore will want to speak with all four of you, but he has to make sure the Healers see to all the injured, and deal with the people from the Ministry."

"Help!" Lily, James, Alice, Frank, and Professor McGonagall turned in time to see Sirius, Remus, Katie, and Donald running toward them. Sirius was carrying the limp form of Dorcas Meadowes in his arms.

"Oh my," Professor McGonagall said rushing forward to meet them, quickly followed by the other four teens. "What happened to her?"

"She was tortured, Professor," Sirius said. "I tried to get to her as quickly as I could but we were all tied down with Death Eaters of our own. By the time I got there she was unconscious." Sirius' voice was tinged with guilt, the wish he could have done more.

"I'm sure you did everything you could," McGonagall said. "Over here!" she called as the teams of Healers began to appear on the High Street.

"Mum!" Frank called. Healer Longbottom took one brief moment to hug her son, assuring herself that he was alive and only slightly injured before turning all of her attention to Dorcas. She immediately began issuing instructions to her fellow Healers on how she wanted the situation to be handled, and then had Sirius gently place Dorcas on one of the transports to St. Mungo's. She placed her deputy in charge and then after one last hug for her son, she disapperated herself. After all, she was the expert at repairing and treating Cruciatus Curse damage, and Dorcas was in need of her care.

"I have to go see to everything else," Professor McGonagall said after a moment, "you all should probably remain here for now, in case Dumbledore can't convince the Ministry to allow their questions to wait until tomorrow."

"Professor," Alice said stepping forward. She glanced at James and Sirius, wishing she didn't have to say this in front of them, wishing she could forestall saying it at all, but Professor McGonagall needed to know. "Regal Shacklebolt is dead."

Lily felt James stiffen beside and draw in a breath, as if he had been gutted. She enveloped him in her arms wishing she could absorb some of the pain he was feeling into herself. She heard Sirius punch something before being grabbed by Remus and subsiding into silent tears on the shoulder of his friend.

"Where is she, Alice?" Professor McGonagall asked, attempting to hold herself together. Alice told her and Professor McGonagall took one steadying breath before making her way over to the spot Alice pointed to.

"What happened?" James said after a moment.

"Jackson was hurt bad," Alice said trembling as the memory of Jackson's injuries overtook her. "He was hit by some sort of curse that made his organs and everything come out of him. There was blood everywhere and I thought he was dead. Regal went right to him, she knew she was surrounded but she didn't care. He was dying that much was obvious, and I think she just wanted to hold his hand until he was gone, make sure he wasn't alone or scared. I tried to curse the Death Eater who had his wand drawn on them, but he was out of range. And then Hestia was there and she cast this spell that I would imagine was the same one used on Lily at QQS," she said nodding to her best friend.

James and Sirius looked at each other, both of them were red eyed and still in shock at the news of Regal's death, but at that moment both were remembering teaching the two girls that spell after Quidditch practice.

"Her spell hit its mark," Alice said continuing. "Together she and Regal, they levitated Jackson and were making their way across the street. And then out of nowhere, I didn't even see where he came from, a Death Eater was there. Regal engaged him, so that Hestia could get Jackson help. She kept fighting, but whoever it was, they were good. They got her. I managed them to stun them, but then I got drawn back into our fight, and the next time I looked, they were gone. I guess one of their comrades saved them. I should have killed the bastard."

Frank pulled Alice into his arms, kissing her lightly on the head.

"We need to tell Peter," Remus said. "We don't want him to find out some other way."

"Too late," Sirius said with regret as he saw Peter make his way out of the field, his eyes landing on Regal's still body.

"NO!" Peter cried out in agony. Sirius, James, and Remus all moved immediately to grab their friend, hugging him tightly. Peter shook with tears for several long moments, trying to collect himself before he finally managed to voice his request.

"Can I have a minute alone with her…to say goodbye."

Professor McGonagall nodded somberly and walked a short distance away. Each of the other three boys hugged Peter before making their way back to group of teens still gathered a short distance away.

* * *

Peter sat on the ground, staring through tears at Regal's face. He slowly reached out his hand, taking her still warm hand in his. When he had nervously prepared this morning for the moment when he would get up the courage to hold her hand he never thought it would be like this. A sob tore itself from his lips. She was gone, and he would never see her again.

As he sat their holding Regal's hand he mourned not just the loss of the girl in front of him, but also of the possibilities that died with her. For the first couple years at Hogwarts he had felt like he was constantly on edge, waiting to fall off the broom. He had been unable to comprehend that people like James, Sirius, and Remus liked him, were his best friends. He kept expecting the day to come when they would get tired of him and move on, leaving him behind. He knew now that they were his best friends and that nothing would change that, but it didn't stop him from feeling similarly on edge about the future that awaited him after Hogwarts.

James would marry Lily. Peter had never doubted that. In fact, he was pretty sure that Lily was the only person who ever had doubted it. They would get married and have children and live the happily ever after they both deserved. Remus would insist on being alone, not wanting to let anyone to close to him because of his condition, but he would make some huge contribution to society with his keen intelligence, and his life would have a purpose. Sirius would be, well Sirius. He would live the life of the constant bachelor, because that was what he wanted. But what about Peter; where did he fit? He had always thought he would be alone, not because he wanted to be, but because there wasn't another option. He had thought maybe he could spend the holidays with Lily and James. And then for one shining moment there had been Regal and his life had the potential to be something special, it had the potential to be shared with someone who loved him. For that brief moment, it had seemed possible that he would also one day get married, have children, and live happily ever after. He and James could have watched their children grow up together, laughing at the exploits of Sirius, watching Remus change the world, all the while content that they had everything: families and wives that loved them. Maybe then, James wouldn't just be his best friend; he would be James' too. No longer third in the pecking order.

But now all those hopes and dreams were as dead as the girl whose hand he held. And he had never in his life felt so alone. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her hand gently.

"I'm going to miss you so much," he whispered as the tears poured down his face. "I think we could have been really special together. You always were really special, of course, but when I was with you I felt really special too."

* * *

"Daphne we need to get to the passage way," Mary spoke. "Just because their gone now doesn't mean that they aren't going to come back."

"I'm not leaving here until I see with my own eyes that James is alive!" Daphne said harshly as she continued to make her way to the High Street.

"But he might already be back at Hogwarts," Mary said, although they both knew that was unlikely.

"He's not at Hogwarts," Daphne said dismissively. She walked faster as they turned onto the High Street, Mary trailing slowly behind her.

She had one brief moment of relief as she saw him standing with Lily, Alice, Frank, Remus, Sirius, Katie Finch, and Donald Fletchley. They were all alive. She felt herself breathe again for what felt like the first time in hours. And then she followed their eyes to a spot several meters in front of her. She had paid no attention to it before, her eyes only seeking him, but now she saw what she had first overlooked.

"NO!" She screamed, her heart feeling like it was being wrenched out of her chest piece by agonizing piece. "REGAL! REGAL! NO! REGAL!" She felt Mary grab on to her, hugging her comfortingly, but she shrugged her off and ran toward the spot where Regal sat unmoving. Peter looked at her with tears in his own eyes and then pulled her into a hug. They had both loved the girl on the ground.

"I'll give you some time alone with her," Peter said, rising to join his friends. Daphne nodded mutely.

Her senses had to be lying to her, everything she was feeling, seeing, was wrong. It had to be, because Regal could not be dead. It was impossible.

"I'm sorry," she whispered through her tears. "I should have been here with you to protect you. You had so much more still to do. Quidditch Captain one day, and Head Girl, your star burned so bright. I'm going to miss you so much!" She leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Regal's forehead. Before retreating to where Mary stood, a few feet back, and subsiding once more into tears, comforted by her best friend.

* * *

Professor McGonagall waited for Daphne to move away with Mary, and then permitted the transport team responsible for taking Regal's body to St. Mungo's to take her away.

* * *

"Aidan!" Katie Finch cried out in shock as Aidan emerged from Honeyduke's, Eavan unconscious in his arms.

The others all turned quickly to where she was looking. They all made their way up the street to meet him, while Donald Fletchley got the attention of one of the Healers.

"Is she okay?" Lily asked, taking in the limp form of Eavan.

"Unconscious," Aidan replied. "Her legs were shattered."

A team of Healers approached, examining Eavan in Aidan's arms.

"We'll need to send her back to Hogwarts," the one in charge said after a moment. "Get a transport ready," he said to one of his subordinates.

"Why not St. Mungo's?" Frank asked.

"Madame Pomfrey can repair bone injuries, even ones as serious as these. It's not safe to send them all to St. Mungo's, not with the Death Eaters clearly having some control over the Floo Network, and who knows what other aspects of magical travel."

"Can I go with her?" Aidan asked. "I promised her I would stay with her."

"You'll have to follow behind us, after that it's up to Madame Pomfrey."

The team of Healers took Eavan from Aidan's arms, setting her on the stretcher. As Aidan took a step back, allowing them to do their work, he surveyed his group of friends.

"Where's Dorcas?" he asked.

"She was tortured," Katie said, breaking down into tears again.

"I got to her as fast as I could," Sirius said, his voice sounding hollow. "But she was unconscious."

"My mom's with her," Frank said. "She'll do everything she can."

"Right," Aidan said nodding, his head buzzing with all the new information.

"We're ready, if you're coming," the Healer said.

"Yeah, I'm coming." Aidan nodded at each of them, not knowing what else to say. The relief they each felt at being alive permeated everything, but somehow it wasn't something any of them could really verbalize.

* * *

"A little bit of help over here!" Dirk Cresswell called out in relief as his friends came into view. He was attempting to help Harper walk, but as the adrenaline of the attack wore off her pain was becoming increasingly greater with every moment. He would have carried her, but with burns covering half her body, he wasn't sure he could lift her without causing her even more pain.

"Dirk!" James breathed as they heard his cry for help. He, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Frank, and Donald ran over to help.

"Help! Over here!" the girls yelled. Another team of Healers appeared. They took one look at Harper's injuries and summoned a stretcher.

"We have to get her to St. Mungo's right away," the lead of this team said to his team.

Dirk watched as they lifted her onto the stretcher.

"Can I come with her?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," the Healer said gently, "it's too dangerous. We can't take anyone more than necessary back with us."

"I'll be okay," Harper said weakly. She reached out her good hand and took Dirk's. "Thanks for saving me."

"We saved each other," he corrected her. "You were amazing. Thanks for decking that Death Eater for me."

She smiled and then they were forced to let go as the transport was ready to go.

"She decked a Death Eater?" Sirius asked.

"Right in the nose," Dirk said with a ghost of a smile.

"That's fucking awesome," Sirius said in awe.

"I wish I'd thought of that," Donald concurred.

"It felt good," Dirk said. They all turned to look at him. "I couldn't let her have all the fun," he said sheepishly.

He looked around the group assembled and his smile slid off his face.

"Where's Regal and Jackson?" he asked. No one said anything for a moment. James and Sirius exchanged a brief look. James moved to put his hand on Dirk's shoulder. Dirk shrugged it off and said more urgently, "Where's Regal, Potter? Where is she?"

"She didn't make it," James said.

Dirk looked for a moment as if he wanted to punch something else, and then his face crumpled with grief. He, James, Sirius, and Daphne, Regal's teammates, hugged each other for a long moment.

"And Jackson?" Dirk said several moments later.

"We don't know," Lily said.

"He was hurt bad, Regal saved him." Alice supplied.

"Hestia and Augustus made it to the passageway with him," Peter said, speaking for the first time. "But like Alice said, he was a mess. I don't know if they'll be able to save him or not."

"They're both just fifteen," Mary said after a moment.

* * *

Healer Smyth looked at his young patient with something akin to awe. When Jackson Peakes had been brought into St. Mungo's, Healer Smyth was certain he was already dead. The type of trauma his body had sustained was usually not survived. But the boy was still alive and was still fighting. But he was still a long shot to live through the next few days. His organs had been returned to his body, but a second major trauma to them in as many hours had led many of his organs to fail or begin shutting down. He had tubes in his arms supplying him with potions to keep his organs operating, a blood restorative draught, as well as several other potions in order to repair the intense damage done to his body by the spell. No one would be betting on this kid to make it, but Healer Smyth liked to believe that beating the odds was possible.

* * *

They gave statements to the Aurors, all of them. They told how it had been a normal day. Lily, James, Frank, Alice, Sirius, and Remus all mentioned realizing there was an absence of teachers, but that then everything had begun almost right after that. They all told how the Death Eaters and Voldemort had come out of nowhere; that it had been impossible to apparate. They all told the Aurors how they had been certain they would die, they were just trying to keep other people alive.

Finally, satisfied, they were all released to Professor Sprout who escorted them to the passageway the teachers had used, with orders to go immediately to the Hospital Wing for treatment of their injuries. She hushed all their declarations that they weren't hurt, that all the attention should go to those who were really injured, but she would tolerate no dissention, they would go to the Hospital Wing.

* * *

Aidan sat in the midst of chaos. He was perched next to Eavan's bed in the Hospital Wing. Madame Pomfrey had administered skelegrow and about five other potions to Eavan, who was thankfully still unconscious given the amount of pain she would probably be in otherwise. He held her hand and gently rubbed circles on it with his fingers, hoping that on some level she would sense his presence and know that she was not alone.

He watched as the injured came in, brought either by their friends, or by transport teams like the one that had brought Eavan. Terris Boot and Marlowe Fawcett both had minor burns and abrasions. After being mended by one of the Medi-Witch's assisting Madame Pomfrey, they checked on Eavan, and spoke with Aidan for a moment, comparing notes on what had happened, and who else they had each seen and knew therefore had survived. But there was too much chaos to allow those that had been healed to stay long, so soon they were ushered out. The only reason Aidan was being permitted to stay was that he had pretty much refused to leave, and had promised to stay sitting right here next to Eavan and not move a muscle. Quinn Cadwallader brought in a limping Addison Abbot, who had a sprained ankle. The Ravenclaw Prefect John Dawlish seemed very muddled and confused when a transport brought him in, and from what Aidan gathered he had either been severely concussed by something or confunded.

But in the constant parade of injured; there was one in particular that drew Aidan's attention. Barty Crouch Jr. was brought in by a transport as well, with severe gashes, almost like stab wounds, all over his body. He was covered in blood. Aidan couldn't have told anyone what it was that bothered him about this particular injury or victim, maybe just all their speculation over Crouch had made everything about him seem suspicious, but something about that kid just made the hair on the back of his neck stand up, and he couldn't help but watch him more closely than any of the others.

* * *

The Gryffindor Common Room was almost oppressively silent. The room was filled as every student from first year to seventh year was there, but it felt empty without those who were missing. Regal was dead, never to return. Jackson was hanging in the balance between life and death. Harper was at St. Mungo's being treated for her burns. There were only three gone from the whole, but the difference felt staggering.

First and Second Years were gathered together by each of the windows whispering quietly to each other, trying to piece together what had happened, since obviously none of them had been present and they had each only heard fragmented bits of events from this survivor or that one.

The Third Years were sitting in the far back of the common room looking completely shell-shocked. It had been their first time to Hogsmede, after all. A day many of them had been waiting for, looking forward to for years. And they had all made it back, but not without a cost. Regal and Jackson had both sacrificed their own lives to save the group of them.

The Fourth Years sat not far from the Third Years, just trying to wrap their heads around everything that had happened. It had all happened so quickly.

The Sixth Years were at a table by the Portrait Hole. None of them spoke. Harper was one of them, and her absence weighed on each of them. They had all known Regal and Jackson personally, as they were just a year apart. Everything was wrong. It all just felt like a painful, confusing mess.

Two groups sat barely separated in front of the fireplace. Two groups among all the masses of grieving were inconsolable: the Fifth Years and the Gryffindor Quidditch Team.

The Gryffindor Fifth Years had already lost one of their own today in Regal, and no one expressed much realistic hope that they would be spared from losing a second. Those who had seen Jackson's mangled body had been shocked that he was still alive then, none expected he would live long.

And then there was the Quidditch Team, sitting huddled together on the couch and the armchair right beside it, closely surrounded by their friends. Daphne and Hestia sat together in the chair, hugging each other crying softly. James, Sirius, Dirk, and Augustus sat on the couch, each one lost in their private thoughts and misery from the day. On the floor beside them sat Mary, Lily, Alice, Frank and Remus. Peter sat a few feet in front of them, staring straight ahead into the fire, trying not to think or feel anything, but failing in both regards.

After a while, no one was really certain how long as time seemed to have lost meaning in the face of their grief, Professor Dumbledore summoned James, Lily, Alice, Frank, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Dirk for a brief word in the corridor. It was clear he was exhausted, and had many things on his mind. But he wanted to take a moment to thank them for the bravery they had shown that had resulted in many lives being saved. He excused the others and instructed Lily and James to come to his office the following morning where he would brief them more fully on the response and steps for additional safety precautions that would be taken.

And then they were returned once again the Common Room and its overbearing silence.

* * *

Eavan Madley came to with a rush of pain. Her legs felt like they were on fire, burning her alive. But she was almost immediately aware of something else as well. The gentle pressure of the hand holding hers—Aidan was here with her. Everything that happened came screaming back to her.

"What happened," she breathed.

"Hey, you're awake," he said, looking her through sad eyes. "Do you want me to get Madame Pomfrey so she can give you something else for the pain? She has to regrow the bones in both of your legs, so I know you can't be very comfortable."

"I don't want anything yet," Eavan said, even though the pain was terrible. "I need to know what happened…How did we get back to Hogwarts? Is everyone else okay?"

"Lily, James, Alice, Frank, and everyone else were able to hold off You-Know-Who and the Death Eaters until Dumbledore and the other teachers were able to get there. After that, I think things ended pretty quickly. I carried you out once I was sure it was clear, and a team of Healers from St. Mungo's brought you back here."

"And everyone else?"

"I heard Madame Pomfrey talking to one of the medi-wizards…Regal Shacklebolt was killed. I don't know how, but apparently she and Jackson ran into trouble because he's badly hurt as well. Madame Pomfrey doesn't really expect him to make it, but Dumbledore's being given hourly updates on him. Dorcas was crucioed and she's being treated by Healer Longbottom, but there's been no update yet. That's all I really know."

"I didn't know Regal very well, just from Prefect stuff, but she and Jackson always seemed nice."

"I knew her a little, from playing against her in Quidditch, but not well. But yeah, she was nice. I think she was on a date with Peter Pettigrew today. He was pretty excited about it, I think from what I gathered."

"I hate them, all of them. They're all just as bad as He is. We're just a bunch of kids, and they butchered us in the streets."

"I know," he said quietly, thinking not only of today's victims but of his brother as well. They sat quietly for another few minutes.

"I'll get Madame Pomfrey now, if you'd like," Aidan offered.

"Okay," Eavan agreed.

After Madame Pomfrey had administered the pain potion to Eavan her eyes began to droop almost immediately. But there was one more thing she wanted to say.

"By the way," she breathed, "it's your turn to kiss me now." She wasn't aware of much else as she faded away into oblivion again, except for the light brush of Aidan's lips against her own.

* * *

Later in the evening Professor McGonagall joined her House in the Common Room. She had no update to give them on Jackson, but Harper was responding well to treatment.

"I want to apologize to each of you," she said, strain showing on her face. "I feel as the Head of Gryffindor, each of you are my responsibility. I failed to keep you safe and for that I am sorry. I want you each to know that should you need to talk about anything regarding the attack, my door is open to you as you try and move forward."

They expected her to leave after her announcement, but she didn't. Instead she sat with them, shared their grief, their remembrances, their tears.

"You should know, Peter," Professor McGonagall said, speaking to Peter. "I've never seen Regal as excited as she was this week. I don't know how many times I had to chastise her during class on Friday to be quiet and pay attention, but she was practically bouncing off her seat, telling anyone who would listen about her upcoming date with you."

Peter smiled, for the first time since he had seen her in Hogsmede.

"I was excited too," he said. "I really liked Regal a lot; I just wish I had told her that."

"She knew," Daphne said, speaking up from where she and Hestia were still sitting huddled together. "She liked that you all were taking things slowly, that she could savor each step in your relationship."

"She gushed over those flowers you gave her," Hestia said, speaking up for the first time. "She didn't have much of a green thumb, so they died fairly quickly, but she kept them by her bed anyway."

"I told her I'd show her how to press them, so she could keep them in a scrapbook or something, but she was insistent that they stay on her bedside table," Daphne added with a small smile. "She could be so stubborn."

"No kidding, I still have a bruise from where she hit me with that bludger," Augustus said smiling ruefully.

"She was so pissed at you lot that night for making her dodge all those bludgers," Sirius said fondly.

"I'm going to miss her so much," Hestia said with a sad smile before collapsing once more into tears, being hugged tightly by Daphne.


	53. Chapter 53

Lily felt as if it had been the longest day of her entire life. It seemed impossible that just this morning she had woken up excited about her first real Hogsmede date with James and now Regal was dead, the lives of Jackson and Dorcas hung in the balance, and no one who had been in Hogsmede today would ever be the same.

Equally as shocking to Lily was the fact that she, James, Alice, and Frank were all still alive, sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room, surrounded by their friends. Voldemort had killed countless other better trained, older, and wiser wizards and witches, but yet the four of them had escaped. She felt sure that it was something none of them would ever forget, and she was even more certain that Voldemort would not soon forget it either. She wasn't really sure how she felt about that. Surely, she should be terrified that Voldemort now had a reason to know who she was, who James, Alice, and Frank were. He had a reason to want them dead. But right now, all she felt was numb. She knew the other emotions—terror, anger, sorrow, confusion, grief—would all come, but at this moment there was nothing.

"I just want this day to be over," Hestia said to no one in particular. "I keep telling myself in the morning things always look better, but I don't see how sleeping on this is going to make it hurt any less that she's gone."

"I keep thinking the opposite," Peter said after a moment. "I'm afraid to go to sleep because going to sleep means this day is over. And this is the last day that I ever saw her alive, each day after this is just a day I won't see her. I don't think I'm ready to start those yet."

Remus, who was sitting next to Peter, placed what he hoped was a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder, and wished he knew of something, anything, to say that could help his friend.

"Regal would be so pissed right now," Daphne said after a moment. "I can hear her right now, bitching about how we can't expect anything to change, so why are we just sitting here. She'd say we should be doing something, always taking steps forward, even if it was just a small one."

"She used to always say the reason she loved brooms was because you couldn't fly in place, you could float there, bob in the air, but if you really wanted to fly by definition you had to move. No such thing as just staying still," Dirk said with a smile.

"I guess you're right," Peter said, "but that doesn't make it any easier."

"No, it doesn't," Sirius agreed, from where he was sitting on the couch.

Lily watched Hestia and Daphne. Hestia seemed to be afraid to let go of Daphne, and Daphne seemed to be holding herself together purely from the need to comfort Hestia. She didn't want them to have to be separated when the numbness wore off and the nightmares unfailingly set in.

"Hestia, if you want you can sleep in my bed tonight in the dormitory, so you can stay with Daphne."

"Really?" Hestia said, a small relieved smile spreading across her face for a moment. "You don't mind?"

"Not at all," Lily answered.

"Thank you, Lily! I'm just going to go get my things, and then try and go on to bed."

"I'll come up in just a minute," Daphne said.

Hestia bid everyone goodnight, and then made her way up to her dormitory. Daphne rose to her feet as well and walked over to wear Lily was sitting. She stood for a moment as if unsure herself of what she wanted to say, and then hugged Lily tightly for a moment before following Hestia up the stairs.

"I should go with them," Mary said. "Goodnight, everyone."

"I guess I'll go too," Peter said a few minutes later. "Rip the bandage off, so to speak."

"Do you want us to come with you?" Sirius asked concernedly.

"I'll be alright," Peter said with a shake of his head.

Sirius, Remus, and Frank all shared a glance. All three of them knew they would wait before going up to bed, give Peter time to gather his thoughts, grieve privately for Regal, and pretend to be asleep if he wanted too.

* * *

Lily and James made their way, hands intertwined, back to their common room in silence. They had not been separated since the attack, and found their eyes continuously trained on the other, as if they were constantly having to remind themselves that they were both okay.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" Lily asked as they found themselves at the foot of their separate dormitory stairs. "I don't want to be alone."

"Of course," James said, giving Lily a small, sad smile. He gave her a gentle peck on the forehead.

They separated briefly to each get their showers and prepare for bed.

* * *

Professor Dumbledore approached the solitary figure sitting motionless at the end of the path that led from the mountains into the village of Hogsmede. He sat down beside the man on the grass, something given his considerable height and the overabundance of his robes was not something he did very often.

"Have you been here all evening, Caradoc?" Professor Dumbledore asked his Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.

"I was right here, Professor," Dearborn answered. "I was yards away from them and I couldn't help them. All I could do was watch. I saw Dorcas get tortured. I saw the medics taking away Regal's body. I failed them. I was supposed to protect them, and I failed."

"You did no such thing," Professor Dumbledore said. "The safety of the students of this school falls to me. And as for what you saw today, I would suggest a different perspective. Today the students of Hogwarts were blindsided. They did battle with Death Eaters and Lord Voldemort, all vastly more experienced than our students. But the students of Hogwarts did not flinch. Led by the efforts of Miss Evans, Mr. Potter, Ms. Fortescue, Mr. Longbottom, Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, Mr. MacMillan, Miss Meadowes, Mr. Fletchley, Miss Finch, and so many others, most notably the brave Miss Shacklebolt, your students matched their attackers. Lily, James, Alice, and Frank held out for almost an hour against Voldemort himself. Something wizards twice their age and experience have rarely attempted and even fewer have accomplished. So never doubt your protection of them my dear man. You may have not been able to reach them today, but the knowledge you gave them was key to their survival."

"How do you do it, Professor? I've seen people get killed or tortured before. I mean I was an auror for years, and it was never easy but it was something you expected. But today, with my students, I couldn't bear it."

"With all my considerable wealth of knowledge, even I have yet to answer that question."

* * *

Severus Snape took a deep breath as he walked down the dungeon corridor to Professor Slughorn's office. It would take every ounce of his prodigious skill at reading people, as well as his well established good relationship with Slughorn, in order to pull this off. But it was crucial that he pull this off, and so he would not permit himself to consider failure.

Snape knocked on the door. Professor Slughorn had spoken to his House an hour or so before, just as all the other Heads of Household had done. He had said they were welcome to come speak with him if they needed someone to talk to. Well, Snape was here, and he hoped very much that Slughorn was in a talking mood.

"Severus," Professor Slughorn said as he opened his door. Slughorn was stunned. Dumbledore had made it clear, in no uncertain terms which students of Professor Slughorn's he suspected in helping to plan today's attack and Severus Snape was at the top of that list. Slughorn found it hard to believe, I mean yes it was true that Snape was friendly with Lucius and Bellatrix, but no one had concretely proven that they were Death Eaters. But still, Dumbledore had warned him to be careful in his associations with those students, and he, Slughorn, would be a fool to ignore that warning after what had occurred today.

"Can we talk, Professor?" Severus asked quietly.

"Of course, come in dear boy," Slughorn said wearily.

"Thank you, Professor."

"Can I get you something? Tea perhaps?" Slughorn asked, busying himself preparing some of his own.

"No thank you, sir." Severus said taking a seat.

"I must admit I'm a bit surprised to see you, Severus," Slughorn said tentatively. "After all, you were with me today, not in Hogsmede. Something that has been noted by some of the other professors. McGonagall in particular seems interested in how few of my students were in the village today."

"They think we knew about it ahead of time?" Snape asked, seemingly shocked by the suggestion.

"Did you know about it?" Professor Slughorn prodded.

"Sir, I can't speak for anyone else, but Lily was in Hogsmede today. If I had had any inkling of an attack I would have used any means necessary to keep her out of harm's way. That's why I'm here. I just can't stop thinking about how close I came to losing her today."

Professor Slughorn hung his head ashamed. He should have known that Severus would never have put Lily in jeopardy. "I'm sorry I asked, dear boy, please forgive me. I know you would never do anything to hurt her. And really the accusations by the other professors are quite ludicrous. How would a student put themselves into detention? I mean clearly they had no control over that! And as to Lily, have you seen her since the attack?"

"No," Snape said shaking his head. "I saw her from a distance leaving the hospital wing, but she was with Potter, and I'm sure he would never let her talk to me. Was she hurt, Professor?

"They were all four very luck considering what they were facing. Lily, as I understand it, had some deep cuts and abrasions on her arms from where she managed to shield her face. It took a while for them to get all the glass shards out, but she'll be fine. Miss Fortescue was hurt the worst of the four with a mild concussion, but even she was just given a potion by Madam Pompfrey and instructions to report back tomorrow morning. I suppose things are so chaotic they couldn't just keep someone for observation."

"No, I suppose not. They were lucky that you teachers were able to get there when you did. Thank Merlin they were able to get word back to Hogwarts. Things could have been so much worse for all the students."

"Yes, they were very lucky that Miss Baddock was able to get back and alert Professor Dumbledore. We in Slytherin should be very proud of her."

"Yes, of course. Gentry deserves a proper reward for her heroism." Snape said with a small smile. He had what he had come for. He now knew who was responsible for alerting Dumbledore about the Dark Lord's attack.

* * *

Sirius, Remus, and Frank made their way up to their dormitory. Sirius and Remus looked hopefully in the direction of Peter's bed, but the curtains were drawn and they heard the exaggerated sound of fake-snoring as Peter pretended to be asleep. They both wished he would talk to them, but understood their friend needed time to process what had happened. They wouldn't push and prod him if he wasn't ready.

"What about you?" Remus asked sitting down on the bed next to Peter's that had once been James', appraising Sirius who was sitting on his own neighboring bed.

"What about me?" Sirius asked.

"You're worried about Peter closing himself off," Remus said nodding his head to the bed behind him, "but you were close to Regal too. You shouldn't close yourself off either."

Sirius appraised his friend for a long moment before nodding his head in agreement.

"I feel like this whole thing is my fault," Sirius said, barely above a whisper.

"How is any of this your fault?"

"Because," Sirius said, and now he had to use every ounce of self-control to keep from shouting, "these things keep happening to people I love! Andromeda was tortured, Regal was killed, who's is going to be next? Andromeda said I was dangerous, that I was reckless and that I courted danger, and maybe she was right. Maybe all these people keep getting hurt because of me."

He was breathing hard, tears streaming down his face, devastated by his belief that what he had said was true.

Remus moved to sit by his friend's side, wrapping him in a hug for a moment before speaking.

"Padfoot, none of this is your fault. The people doing these things, it's all about power and fear—they want us to feel this way. But it's not because of you."

"What if it was Bellatrix? What if it was my own cousin who killed her?"

"Who Bellatrix is, is not a reflection of who you are."

"I feel like everyone is just waiting for me to snap, to become like them. They expect me to be like Bellatrix, like Regulus."

"Anyone who can't see that you have a good heart is an idiot. Bellatrix never had your heart, maybe Regulus did once but if he's joined them he's lost touch with it now. You are nothing like them and this is not your fault."

"I just feel like everyone expects me to be evil, to become a monster."

"You're not a monster, Sirius. Trust me, I'm kind of an expert."

"Moony, you're the least monstrous of all of us. That's why you're here, talking with me, trying to make me feel better."

"And apparently, failing miserably," Remus said with a smile.

"No, you're not," Sirius said. "I just need time. I can't believe she's really gone."

Peter listened to his friends' conversation and more than once wished he could join them. But he felt like he was a thousand miles away, that a chasm had opened up all around him the moment he had seen Regal's body, and that he had to fight through this pain on his own.

There was a quiet knock on the door to the dormitory. Sirius, whose bed was closest, rose to answer it. Standing in the doorway was Alice, looking small and more than a little weary. Normally, Sirius would have taken this moment to make a comment about late night booty calls, or something else of the sort, but given everything they had all been through today, he merely nodded to Alice in greeting and opened the door further to allow her to enter. She gave both him and Remus a small smile, her eyes lingered for a moment sadly on the closed-off curtains of Peter's bed, and then her eyes settled on Frank who rose from his own bed upon seeing her and opened his arms to her. They embraced for a moment before settling into his bed for the night where they would both try and find security in the other's presence.

* * *

Lily sat down on her bed for a moment. Looking around her room she felt the full impact of what had happened today. In the mirror she examined her reflection. The girl looking back at her was different than the one she had seen in the mirror that morning. There were the obvious physical differences. The long gash down her face, the even deeper wounds on her arms from where she had shielded her face from the glass shards, but even more glaring to Lily were the more subtle differences between the woman she was now, and the girl she had been hours before.

This morning she had stood in front of that mirror primping for her date with James, excited about the possibilities of a real date with James Potter. Now, that seemed foolishly vapid and dangerously naïve to her. This morning the worst thing she could have foreseen happening today would have been a fight with James, but for an hour today it had seemed certain that either she or James, or both, would die. This morning she had had mixed feelings about her and James meeting up with Regal and Peter later in the afternoon in Hogsmede, not because she didn't like Regal or Peter, but because she had been greedy of every second alone with James. But before the afternoon arrived, Regal was dead, and that possibility forever removed with her.

But perhaps most striking to Lily was the fact that today she had faced death more surely than she ever had before, but she was still alive. Something she knew didn't happen often with those who went face to face with Voldemort. She doubted, for the second time, that it had escaped his notice that it had happened four times with four teenagers today.

* * *

James let go as the water cascaded down around him. He cried, really cried, for the first time since he was a little boy. Regal was dead. He had failed to protect her. He had almost lost Lily. He had failed to protect her. And he had never felt so empty.

* * *

Lily smiled as she walked through the door to James' dormitory. He had magically enlarged the bed before getting in the shower. She sat down on the edge of the bed and waited for him. A moment later he emerged from the bathroom, his hair still damp, with only his boxers on. If they hadn't both been through hell today, Lily thought she might have had a difficult time keeping from throwing herself at the boy in front of her.

He climbed into bed beside her and pulled her into his arms. They lay there for a long time just taking in the sight of each other, absorbing the reality of what they almost lost, and how lucky they were to still have each other. Their eyes roamed over each other's faces, their lips met repeatedly in gentle kisses that left them both breathless. There was no thought of going further; it was enough at this moment to just be together.

Finally, after they had both somewhat satisfied their need to be reassured of the other's safety, Lily spoke up.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I feel empty," James said, his voice which sounded completely hollow underlined his point. "I was her captain, her friend, her Head Boy, and I feel like I failed her in each of those roles. I should have kept her safe, and I didn't."

"You didn't fail her," Lily said softly. She softly caressed his face with her hand as she spoke.

"I sent her and Jackson in to fight Death Eaters. Maybe the fifth years weren't ready; maybe we should have had them do something else."

"Like what? Should they have evacuated with the others? Maybe, but there wouldn't have been enough older prefects to get to the students even younger than them, and who's to say that the sixth years are any better prepared. No school kid should have to be ready to fight to the death at any age, but we didn't make the decision to allow fifth years to be prefects, the founders of Hogwarts did."

"I know I just feel like I'm responsible for her being dead."

"You didn't cast that spell," Lily said earnestly.

"But I put her in the path of it," James said bitterly.

"Is that what you think?" Lily said. "James, Regal put herself there. No listen," she said, placing a finger to his lips as he showed every sign of interrupting. "I'm not saying that she caused her death, that's not what I'm saying at all, just listen. Regal would have been in that street helping to rescue students whether you had told her to be there or not. That's who she was. She would never have left other kids out there to fight their own way to safety if she could have been there to help them. Just like you and I wouldn't have let anyone else take on Voldemort or Sirius and Remus wouldn't have stayed behind while other people fought Death Eaters, Regal wouldn't have let her friends be in jeopardy without doing her best to save them. And there's absolutely no way she would have left Hogsmede without knowing that Hestia was safely ahead of her on the way back to Hogwarts.

"You said you failed her, well I say just the opposite. She fought her heart out to get those third years to safety. Each one of those kids owes their life to Regal and Jackson. And you did save her, and Jackson for that matter, through Hestia. I know that it had to be you and Sirius who taught Hestia, and I would imagine Regal as well, that curse. Jackson and Regal both would have been killed if Hestia hadn't been there. Regal chose to stay behind, to ensure that Jackson and Hestia could get to safety, but she wouldn't have been alive to make that choice if it hadn't been for Hestia. Hestia might have been killed as well. So don't you dare think you didn't make a difference, you and Sirius made all the difference to those two girls. Regal died a hero, she died knowing that she had done everything in her power to fight against evil, and I know it's how she would have wanted it. Because at heart she was just like the three people she admired most: you, Sirius, and her brother."

"I just wish she was okay," James said, tears spilling out of his eyes once more.

"I know," Lily said, wrapping him in her arms once more. She held him for a long time, until his tears subsided. Pulling back, she looked at him for a long time before speaking again.

"I kept thinking today, while we were fighting, that if you or I died I would have one regret," Lily said quietly.

"What's that?" James asked, twirling a piece of her hair gently in his hand.

"That I never told you that I loved you, because I do. I love you, Potter. I have for a while now," she said with a shy smile. His lips were on hers once again a moment later as he kissed her fervently.

"I love you too, Evans," James said as he pulled back slightly. "I always have and I always will."

* * *

Gentry Baddock sat in the Slytherin Common Room, her eyes roving around the room, her mood downcast. She had always felt at home in this room, always felt like she belonged. Her whole family had been in Slytherin for as long as anyone could remember. But right now she felt ashamed of her house for the first time.

She wondered what was happening in the other Common Rooms. The Gryffindor's were understandably devastated, having already lost one student, and most likely going to lose another soon. The Hufflepuffs were similarly downcast, with the life of Dorcas Meadowes hanging in the balance. And the Ravenclaws had also faced loss today. But for the most part, her house had been largely absent from Hogsmede today.

Of course, there were exceptions. Many third and fourth years had been in Hogsmede today. Many of them owed their lives to the prefects of Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw who had risked everything to evacuate students to safety. Some of them had even been in the group evacuated by Regal Shacklebolt and Jackson Peakes. Those students were understandably shell-shocked, reeling from the reality that one, possibly two people had died to save their lives. And of course, Gentry and several of her fifth year girl friends had been in Hogsmede. But many more of the older Slytherin students found themselves ill or in detention or making up tests. The only seventh years she saw in Hogsmede were Augustus Rookwood and his girlfriend, but everyone knew Rookwood had distanced himself from the Death Eater crowd years ago so that was unsurprising.

But what she really wanted to know was where had the other Slytherin Prefects been? Why had she been the only one there? She knew that Snape and Black and the others were probably already Death Eaters, but it infuriated her to know that they had stood by and allowed their fellow Hogwarts students to be put in jeopardy.

And she knew something else too. If they were willing to have Hogwarts students killed, they would be willing to kill people who stood in their way. It was no longer safe for her at Hogwarts.

* * *

Lily and James walked hand in hand to Professor Dumbledore's office the following morning. They weren't sure what awaited them in the Headmaster's Study—news of more death or further attacks at other places were chief among their concerns. But whatever happened they would face it, as they had the attack, together. They seemed to simultaneously each take a deep breath, before James knocked and they heard Dumbledore's voice from within instructing them to enter.

"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans, please be seated," Dumbledore said motioning to the seats in front of his desk. He surveyed them for a long moment over the top of his half-moon spectacles, his head resting atop his folded hands.

"You both showed exemplary courage and bravery yesterday. Because of you many lives were saved, and for that and much more I must first say thank you."

"Is there any word on any of the people taken to St. Mungo's?" Lily asked.

"Jackson's condition has not changed. He is still in a precarious situation, but the fact that he remains alive is reason for hope. Dorcas is still being kept under sedation while the damage to her body heals. Healer Longbottom will not be able to ascertain if any mental of psychological damage was done until that process is completed. Harper, however, is doing better and I am told that her burns are responding well to treatment."

Both Lily and James nodded, still holding out hope for Jackson and Dorcas, and relieved that at least some good news could be relayed to the residents of Gryffindor Tower who were waiting on tenterhooks.

"I also want to offer my condolences to both of you. I know you were both friends with Miss Shacklebolt. Her parents and brother will arrive at Hogwarts tomorrow and would like to meet with the Quidditch Team, as well as Mr. Pettigrew privately, before spending time with all of Gryffindor."

Lily and James again nodded in response.

"As I'm sure you both no doubt expected, given the attack yesterday several new security measures will be put into place. First and foremost, Hogsmede weekends will be suspended until further notice. The Ministry of Magic will also be stationing Aurors in Hogsmede for the sole purpose of protecting the school. I will need you to relay this information to the Prefects in a meeting this morning."

"What about the Slytherin Prefects?" James asked quietly. He and Lily had discussed their own suspicions last night regarding the absence of the Slytherins from Hogsmede.

"Ah—you speak, I'm sure, of their mysterious absence from Hogsmede?" James and Lily nodded once more. "Yes, I am aware that they were missing in action, as it were. For now, you are to treat them no differently. It is my hope that we can lure them in to a false sense of security. If they feel they got away without any additional scrutiny being placed on them, hopefully they will begin to get careless and allow us better insight into Lord Voldemort's plans. But rest assured I will be monitoring them carefully."

* * *

Lily and James did as Dumbledore had asked of them and met with their Prefects shortly after leaving his office. And they did nothing to show any hint of suspicion to the Slytherins, even though both at times felt the urge to pull out their wands and take matters into their own hands. Judging by the faces of several other of the Prefects—namely Remus, Aidan, Dirk, and Terris and Marlowe who were both still walking gingerly on their mended ankles—they were not the only ones fighting to control such desires.

But more than anything else, there thoughts were focused on the Prefects who were not with them. Regal, of course, Jackson, Dorcas, and Harper, as well as Eavan who was still in the Hospital Wing, and although Lily, James, Remus, and Aidan were still unsure of how he sustained the injuries, Barty Crouch Jr. was also still in the Hospital Wing recovering.

Lily and James concluded the meeting quickly, certain that all their Prefects were probably suffering from as much sleep deprivation due to yesterday's events as they were. But they noted, for the second time this year that once they had concluded a meeting, Gentry Baddock made a concerted effort to remain slowly behind.

"Lily, James may I speak with you for a moment?" She finally asked, after she was sure everyone else was gone.

"Of course," James said.

"Thank you, for yesterday," Lily said. "You saved a lot of lives by getting to Dumbledore, including ours," she said motioning to herself and James.

"It was nothing," Gentry said shaking her head. "You two are the ones who saved lives; you fought him off, not me."

"Evans is right," James said. "We wouldn't have been able to hold him off forever, we needed Dumbledore."

Gentry offered them a small smile but said nothing more. She seemed at a loss for words, unsure of how to continue.

"You said you wanted to talk to us?" Lily helped.

"Yes," Gentry said looking relieved, "I wanted to thank you, actually. You didn't have to trust me. I wouldn't have blamed you if you'd left me and the other Slytherins to fend for ourselves. You had no way of knowing that I wouldn't lead Death Eaters into Hogwarts once I got Peter to show me where the passageway was. But you let me help.

"I've always been proud of being a Slytherin. My whole family has been in Slytherin and I wore this uniform," she said motioning to the crest on her robes, "as a badge of honor. I was proud to be a pure blood. But that doesn't mean that I think it's okay to kill people. You both gave me the chance to show that just because you're a Slytherin doesn't mean you have to support what he's doing, what they're all doing. So thank you."

Lily and James both stood for a moment, unsure of exactly what to say, before both nodded and murmured "you're welcome."

"I also just wanted to say goodbye," Gentry said.

"Goodbye?" Lily questioned.

"I'm leaving Hogwarts right now actually," Gentry said. "I spoke with Professor Dumbledore this morning and arranged it."

"But why?" James asked.

"Right now only a few people within Hogwarts know about the role I played yesterday, but I'm worried that if some of the other Slytherins find out they could make life especially difficult for me. I'm to continue my studies at home with my family. Professor Dumbledore has arranged it with the teachers."

Lily and James felt, once more, at a loss for words. But after a moment Lily seemed to recover herself.

"Well good luck and if you ever need anything don't hesitate to ask," Lily said.

"Good luck," James said as well, "and thank you again, for our lives."

"Thank you," Regal said nodding to each of them. She made her way to the door but paused for a moment in the threshold, looking back over her shoulder at them.

"For the record," she said, "I'm sorry about calling you a mudblood and a blood traitor."

* * *

A/N: Sorry about the delay! I got a new job so I've been busy with that. The next chapter is already in the works and should be up in a week or week in a half at most. Reviews are always appreciated and always help to motivate me! xoxo


	54. Chapter 54

A/N: Okay so this chapter took a while because everything in it is important. And I wanted to get it right because it has repercussions on future events. This is the last really dark chapter for a while; we'll be getting back to a little bit lighter fare with shades of darkness as they head into the Holidays and their last semester at Hogwarts. But I think the dark stuff is important with the murder of Bertram Aubrey and Regal Shacklebolt etc. because they are coming of age in a time of war, and their generation is very much on the front lines. With that being said this chapter contains graphic violence. If you are under the age rating for this story and are reading any way (because let's face it some people do that) I urge extreme caution before reading this chapter. So on that note… enjoy! And please review!

* * *

The Shacklebolts arrived, as expected, the following morning. Regal's parents, Reigna and Knightly, and her older and much beloved brother Kingsley, met with Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall for over an hour in the Headmaster's office. After the meeting concluded, McGonagall escorted them to the room off the Great Hall, where they would meet first with the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and then with Peter alone.

Daphne and Hestia were the first to enter the room, followed closely by the rest of the team. Reigna Shacklebolt opened her arms to the two girls, her daughter's closest friends, and all three held each other as they cried together.

Mr. Shacklebolt stayed close by to his wife but shook the hands of each of the boys and accepted their condolences. Kingsley took a moment to also shake their hands and then spoke directly to James and Sirius.

"I want to thank you both for everything you did for my sister. She really admired both of you," Kingsley said in his deep baritone.

"We really cared a lot about her," James said sincerely.

"Yeah," Sirius said nodding his head in agreement. "We both wish we could have done more to protect her."

Kingsley shook his head. "I heard Professor Dumbledore's account of the attack. You both saved a lot of lives with your actions on Saturday. My sister would have been proud of you. She would have wanted you to do just what you did."

"He's right," Dirk said from where he and Augustus stood beside Sirius. "You all kept people calm. You gave us direction and a way to help people. A lot more people would have died if you guys, and Lily, Alice, and Frank hadn't done what you did."

"Regal would never have just gone back to Hogwarts, even if you'd told her to," Augustus added. "She would have stayed to fight. It's who she was."

"You know," Kingsley said, "she used to worry so much about me being an Auror. It got to the point that recently I wouldn't tell her if I was going on a mission, until I got back and could tell her I was safe, just because I knew she worried. When my parents got word that they needed to come to St. Mungo's, they thought it was to identify me, to claim my body, not her. It should have been me. I'm the one who signed up for fighting Death Eaters; you're all just a bunch of kids. But kids who did a damn fine job. You accomplished things that we Aurors have been unable to do, and I admire each of you so much for that."

The rest of the time was spent listening to the Shacklebolts share their favorite memories of Regal, and the members of the Quidditch Team doing the same. They shared laughs and tears, and by the time the meeting concluded, they all felt exhausted.

But when James and Sirius emerged from the room off the Great Hall they did not follow the rest of the team back up to Gryffindor Common Room. Instead, they paused for a moment, to share words of encouragement with Peter who was waiting outside, to go in and have his time with Regal's family, and then once Peter had entered the room, the two boys took a seat at one of the four tables in the Great Hall. They hadn't talked about it ahead of time, but they both knew this was where they were supposed to be, supporting their friend. And so it wasn't really surprising to them when a few minutes later the door to the Great Hall opened once more and Remus came and took a seat next to them.

* * *

Lily, Alice, and Frank sat with the rest of Gryffindor Tower awaiting their time to go down to the Great Hall for the memorial service for Regal. She knew today would be especially hard on James. Regal's parents had sent a request via Dumbledore that James speak at the memorial, and Lily knew he had been up most of the night working on his remarks, trying to make them perfect for Regal. And now he was with the rest of the Quidditch Team meeting with the Shacklebolts in what was sure to be an emotional encounter.

She glanced up hopefully when the Quidditch Team returned, but she wasn't surprised not to see him or Sirius with them. Of course they would stay behind with Peter during his time of need; she would have expected nothing less.

* * *

The memorial service was not mandatory, but was open to anyone who wanted to attend it. The Great Hall had been transformed by Professor Flitwick during the mid-morning. The four long house tables had been moved out of sight and instead there were rows of chairs facing the dais that usually held the faculty table. Instead today, it held only the podium Dumbledore used at the Start of Term Feasts, and then numerous photographs of Regal laughing and smiling and waving from the pictures of her and her friends.

There was one of her and Daphne and Hestia hair windswept after practice last year, all of them laughing heartily at some joke. Another showed Regal with the other fifth year girls waiting before Herbology one day, all waving their gloved hands and again laughing. There was one of her and Jackson taken on the Hogwarts' Express a few months earlier proudly showing off their news shiny Prefect's Badge. Another taken that same day showed Regal and Jackson posing with James and Lily. It had been such a proud moment, the two newest Gryffindor Prefects with the two Gryffindor Heads. There were several pictures of the Quidditch Team all together, laughing after practice, posing together on their brooms, and presenting the House Cup to Professor McGonagall following last year's victory. One that had always been one of Regal's favorites was taken after practice earlier in the school year and showed her and Hestia hoisted up on to James and Sirius' shoulders after winning a bet and earning rides back up to the castle. But perhaps most heart wrenching were the two pictures of Peter and Regal. One taken at the Potter's New Year's Eve party with them all dressed up and posing together in front of the fireplace, and the second which was taken by Daphne when Peter collected Regal in the common room prior to their date in Hogsmede. The two cuddled closely together and smiled and waved, not knowing that in a few short hours their worlds would be ripped apart and Regal would be dead.

Despite the fact that attendance was not mandatory, there was quite a crowd. In the front row, Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall sat with the Shacklebolts and Peter. Mrs. Shacklebolt had insisted that Peter sit with them, to which he gratefully accepted. She squeezed his hand tightly throughout the service and seemed to draw strength from having him there with her.

In the row right behind them sat the Quidditch Team, accompanied by Lily, Alice, Frank, and Mary, who sat next to Daphne to support her friend. And right behind them were all the fifth year Gryffindors, with the obvious exception of Jackson. The rest of Gryffindor Tower sat in the rows immediately behind the fifth years.

All the Hufflepuffs were in attendance as well, sitting behind the Gryffindors, accompanied by Professor Sprout, who chose to sit with her House. Lily saw that even Eavan Madley was there, despite the fact that she was still in the Hospital Wing recovering. She was helped into the Great Hall and to her seat by Aidan.

Lily felt a huge wave of gratitude toward the Hufflepuffs. They were maligned by the rest of the school as somehow less worthy, as a catch-all House. But the truth was that when push came to shove it was the Hufflepuffs, like Aidan, Eavan, Dorcas, Katie, Donald, as well as Barclay Smith, Addison Abbott, and Quinn Cadwallader who had risen as one along with the Gryffindors to help defend Hogwarts. Certainly there were those in Ravenclaw like Terris and Marlowe, and in Slytherin, like Gentry Baddock, who had also done their part to help. But the Hufflepuffs like the Gryffindors had borne the burden most heavily and had also faced the most loss, with Dorcas also still at St. Mungo's after being tortured.

The Ravenclaws were also in attendance, led into the Great Hall by their prefects Terris Boot, Marlow Fawcett, Daisy Hookum, John Dawlish, and Adair Ogden. Barty Crouch Jr. was also still in the Hospital Wing following the attack on Hogsmede, and unlike Eavan was apparently not up to attending.

But as for the fourth Hogwarts house, its' students were few and far between. But given the suspicious circumstances regarding their role in the attack that had killed Regal, no one really wanted them there anywhere. There were, however, a couple notable exceptions. All the Slytherin third years, many of them having been rescued by Regal and Jackson, were there; as were Augustus Rookwood and his girlfriend, although that was hardly surprising seeing as they had both made it clear where they stood and had both been in Hogsmede the day of the attack.

Rounding out those in attendance were the entire Hogwarts' faculty and many of the residents of Hogsmede who had come to pay their respects to one of their villager's defenders.

After everyone had taken their seats, Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall each said a few words about Regal and the bravery she had shown in her sacrifice. And then it was time for James to speak. Lily squeezed his hand reassuringly as he rose to make his way up to the podium. She saw him swallow visibly, clearly attempting to ward off both nerves and emotion. She knew he wasn't typically one to get nervous, but she also knew how badly he wanted to do this right—for Regal and her family.

He took a deep breath as he stood at the podium, and then with a nod to Regal's parents he began.

"I want to start by thanking Mr. and Mrs. Shacklebolt for asking me to speak today, Regal meant a lot to me and I'm incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to pay my respects to her. Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall have already spoken about how brave Regal was, how noble she was to sacrifice herself for the safety of her friends, and all of that is true. Regal was incredibly brave and incredibly noble, but today I wanted to take a moment and remember the girl that I knew so well. Because while she was brave and noble, Regal was also hilariously funny, wickedly sarcastic, a great teammate, and an even better friend.

"I first met Regal two years ago when she tried out for the Quidditch Team. She was a third year and we only had one opening as a Beater. The spot went to Augustus because despite his small stature and only being a second year he could raise a lump the size of an melon on someone with his bludger hits, but our Captain at the time, Marlene McKinnon, was so impressed by the way Regal flew that she asked her to keep practicing with us, because she was sure she would be perfect as a replacement chaser once Marlene and Integra graduated. But as it turned out, Regal didn't have to wait quite that long. Marlene got hurt before the final match of the season and so Regal had to play. Most people would have been terrified, and maybe she was, but you couldn't tell. She never even batted an eye. And she earned my everlasting respect and admiration.

"The next year, I became Quidditch Captain, and Hestia joined the team to be promptly adopted by Daphne and Regal. They were inseparable. And they had each other's backs. We all had each other's backs. I've been on five quidditch teams since I made the team my second year, but I've never felt the way I feel about this team with any of the others. Regal, Daphne, Hestia, Dirk, Augie, Sirius, and I became more than a team, we were a family. And I can't even begin to express how empty we feel without her here with us. It was Regal who came up with our nicknames that she insisted on using, despite several of us lodging numerous complaints on the matter. Once Regal had a nickname for you, she refused to negotiate it. Hestia was forever branded as Sparky because she reminded Regal of a happy, excited puppy," James said with a smile at Hestia who was giggling quietly into her hand. "Sirius was Playboy for rather obvious reasons," James said with a smirk. "I was Cappy, which I guess was short for captain, and occasionally when my pre and post-game speeches went on for what she deemed an unreasonable amount of time she lengthened it to Gabby Cappy. Dirk was Bert because she overheard Professor Binns call him that once and she decided it suited him better. Augie was christened Armadillo Pie for reasons only known to Regal as she never properly explained it to any of us, and Daphne was forever renamed Daffy.

"Regal was one of the best people I ever knew. She had this ability to make everyone laugh and everyone smile. You couldn't be unhappy when you were around her and I can't really even begin to tell you how much I'm going to miss her. Thank you."

Following the memorial service the Shacklebolts departed Hogwarts. They took with them most of Regal's belongings with a few exceptions. Some pictures she had of her and Peter from around Hogwarts were given to Peter. Each member of the Quidditch Team was also encouraged to pick out something of Regal's to have as a memento. But they also took with them two special gifts that Regal's mother would give to her daughter before she was buried. It had been decided that it wasn't safe for a large number of Hogwarts students to leave the school so soon after the attack, so Mrs. Shacklebolt acted as courier for these final gifts. A bracelet made from pieces of the end of each member of the Quidditch team's brooms. Using Hestia's same size wrist as a model, they had each cut off a piece of their broomstick tail and Daphne had used red and gold thread to sew them into a bracelet. And the flower that Regal had kept by her bed from the bouquet Peter had given her. Hestia had retrieved it for Peter who had charmed it back to its original beauty, and then given it to Regal's mother to put in the casket of the girl he loved.

* * *

Alice glared at the bed hangings surrounding her as she lay in bed. It was the night of Regal's memorial service, three days since the attack on Hogsmede, and she felt like she was going crazy. No matter what she did, whether she was awake or asleep, all she could see was Regal's face in her last moments of life, her eyes at the moment that she died. And she just wanted it to stop.

But did that make her selfish? She kind of felt like it did. She could hear Daphne crying right now in her own bed. She could hear Mary doing her best to comfort her best friend when no real comfort could be given. Peter could barely look anyone in the eye anymore he was so withdrawn into his own personal tormented thoughts since the attack, blaming himself for not being there to protect her. Regal's parents and her brother had all cried today listening to the tributes to their daughter. Daphne, Peter, the Shacklebolts, and she was sure many other of Regal's friends would have given anything to be there for Regal during her final moments, and yet Alice wished more than anything she could erase them from her memory.

But they would not fade. It seemed as if they were burned into her very existence. Every moment she saw it. The strange combination of fear, awareness, and acceptance that had been present in Regal's eyes as the speeding green light of instantaneous death had sped toward her; and then the moment when there was nothing. It sounded cliché to talk about the light leaving someone's eyes, but Alice knew know exactly what the phrase meant. She and Regal's eyes had been locked together from the moment the spell had been cast, and Alice could see the exact moment when Regal's eyes stopped seeing anything else around them. And now she couldn't stop seeing it: the moment when Regal had ceased to be.

She climbed out of her bed and made her way into the bathroom off of their dormitory. She cast the strongest silencing charm in her arsenal of spells and began to scream. She screamed and cried and screamed some more. She continued on for hours, tears streaming down her face, screaming until her voice broke. Finally, having exhausted herself of emotion, she undid the spell and then crawled back into her bed, finally going to sleep.

* * *

Lily awoke with a loud shriek of terror. Her heart was pounding as she tried to tell herself it had only been a dream. But it hadn't just been a dream. It had been real just a few days before.

She jumped as she heard a loud crash. Visions of Voldemort and Death Eaters filled her mind as she grabbed her wand and launched herself out of the bed and out her bedroom door…only to find herself sliding down her stairs and landing on top of a motionless body. She was about to scream again (who was dead at the bottom of her stairs?) when the inert figure spoke.

"Ow," said the voice. She breathed an audible sigh of release.

"Bloody hell, Potter," Lily said. "I thought you were a dead body."

"Well we're even then because I thought you were getting tortured. Another nightmare?" He asked.

"No," she said lighting her wand tip and sliding off of him to sit beside him and allow him to sit up as well. "It was real, or at least it was once."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Why? You were there, you know everything that happened."

"It might help," he said.

"I'm not sure how. With my other nightmares I could tell myself, or you could tell me, or Alice could tell me, that they weren't real, but this was real. It happened. And it could happen again."

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you, Evans," Jams said.

"You can't promise that, none of us can."

"I know, but I wish I could."

"He won't forget," Lily said. She didn't elaborate, she didn't have to. It was the unspoken threat hanging over all four of them.

"No, he won't," James agreed.

"How long do you think he'll wait?"

"He'll have a difficult time getting at us again while we're in school with the suspension of Hogsmede weekends and the increased security."

"He could have one of his Death Eaters do it for him," Lily suggested.

"I'd like to see Snape try, or any of them for that matter. I'd like nothing better than for them to have a go," James said darkly. "But they won't."

"How do you know?"

"He'll want to do it himself," James said. "He's egotistical like that. He's always saved the most important kills for himself, to prove a point. He won't like that we bested him, or at least were equal to him, in front of his Death Eaters. He'll need to prove to them that it was a fluke, that he's not afraid of us. But he'll wait till we're out of school."

"Happy graduation," Lily said dryly.

"Welcome to the big world," James agreed.

"You're doing a wonderful job of reassuring me so I can go back to sleep by the way," Lily said. "You should market your pep talks Potter."

"Nah, I save them just for you, Evans."

"I feel so special."

"You should because you are," James said with a wink.

"You're so full of shit," Lily said laughing.

"You love me," James said leaning in and kissing her hard on the lips.

"I do not," Lily said smiling, although her eyes clearly told a different story as she leaned in to kiss him again.

"Liar," he said after they had pulled apart again.

"Maybe," she said kissing him a final time.

"C'mon," he said standing and pulling her to her feet as well, "let's go to bed."

"What?" she said blanching visibly.

"Just to sleep you silly girl, maybe I can fight away the nightmares."

"And to think I used to think that sharing a bed with you would be the worst nightmare I ever had to worry about," she said sarcastically as she followed him up to his bedroom. "That and a date with the giant squid, they were neck and neck there for most terrifying."

"Evans please," James said with a wave of his hand, "we both know that this is what your fantasies are made of."

"Whatever you say, Potter," she said climbing into bed beside him.

"I say I love you, Evans." She turned to look at him as he pulled her into his arms for the second time in three days.

"I love you too, Potter."

* * *

Peter lay in his bed watching the Golden Snitch hovering above him, its wings fluttering slowly. James had lent it to him following the attack. He said it always helped him to gather his thoughts. Peter had to admit there was something oddly soothing about the soft beat of the wings, long since slowed by the years since it had been used in a quidditch game. But as for his thoughts, well, they seemed just as jumbled as ever.

As he watched the snitch he couldn't help but feel slightly envious of its wings. It would be nice to have wings and be able to just fly away, soar as high as you wanted. Obviously he could use a broom, but it would be nice to be unrestricted by a reliance on something else, to just have the innate ability to fly. If only he could transform into a bird instead of a rat, he would fly away from all the pain he was feeling and just soar into the sky. He could close his eyes and imagine he was flying to where Regal was, or better yet imagine that she was on her broom happily flying along beside him. He could be free.

He knew his friends were worried about him. The fact that James had parted with the snitch was proof enough of that. He wished he could talk to them about what he was feeling, but he felt as if no one would understand. They all still had their future ahead of them, he felt like his had died with Regal.

The future. Kingsley had said something to him about the future when he had met with Regal's family. It was almost as if he had known that Peter felt as if his own future was inexorably linked with Regal. Kingsley had told him that just because the path he had planned on taking was closed didn't mean there weren't other paths. And then he had said something that had really struck Peter. He said there was no one way to live his life. He said that Peter should live his life for himself and not worry about other people's expectations. He should be what he wanted to be and who he wanted to be. But that was the thing? Who did he want to be? What did he want to do? Well he knew the answer to the second question, even if he didn't know the answer to the first. He wanted to survive. The reality of death had hit him hard and he would do whatever it took, right or wrong, to make sure that he and his friends survived.

* * *

Tuesday morning the in the Great Hall, and in the Entry Hall, was a madhouse. Sunday and Monday travel, including apparation, in and out of Hogsmede had been impossible. The Ministry had restricted access to Aurors only in the hopes of finding some useful evidence from the attack. But Tuesday morning travel had been reopened and many parents had come immediately to remove their children from Hogwarts.

Remus argued that while he would never consider leaving, he could see the point of view of the parents. After all, it was only three months into the school year and already one student was dead, another was missing and presumed dead, and countless others had been seriously injured.

The Entrance Hall was filled with parents packing up their children, children saying tearful goodbyes to friends, and in one case a shouting match of epic proportions not soon to be forgotten.

If Mr. Brown had been anticipating that Daphne would leave Hogwarts without a fight, he had been sorely mistaken. Although her three days of quiet reflection and tears had led Mary, and even Alice and Lily, to worry that the loss of Regal had extinguished Daphne's spark, the spark was reignited by the sight of her father coming to collect her.

"I'm not going," Daphne said stomping her foot to add emphasis to her point.

"Daphne, your mother and I will not allow you to be put in any further danger. Katie's father has already arranged for your admittance to Beauxbatons, and your brother and Katie are expecting you this evening."

"Well you can just un-enroll me because I'm not going," Daphne said again.

"I'm not going to tolerate any dissent on this, Daphne. Especially not because of a boy you're not even dating…"

"This is not just about him," Daphne said loudly. James grimaced in the Great Hall where they could still hear every word that was being shouted between the pair. He hated that he was still a source of contention between Daphne and her parents. "My friends are here! My life is here! I'm not going to leave them!"

"Daphne your life is at stake. Regal was murdered for Merlin's sake."

"You don't have to tell me that," Daphne said her voice reaching a new level of anger. "I held her body! I saw her! I've done nothing but cry for the past three days! But if you think that I'm just going to leave Hestia after what we've been through, just give up on Hogwarts after Regal died defending it, you're wrong. I'm not going, Daddy. End of Discussion." And with that she had given him a fierce hug before walking back up to the Gryffindor Common Room. Mr. Brown had stood shell-shocked in the Entrance Hall for a long time, before apparently recognizing a lost cause, and retreating back home.

* * *

"How are you?" Lily asked as she took her seat next to Daphne in Ancient Runes.

"A little miffed. I didn't need that today. I don't know what they were thinking expecting me to leave here."

"They're just worried about you."

"Well I still think Hogwarts is as safe as anywhere else in England. And I'm not going to France."

"I understand, I wouldn't leave either," Lily said. And then remembering something she said, "My parents once wanted me to leave as well."

"Really," Daphne asked, turning to look at Lily. "I've never heard you mention that before."

"I've never told anyone," Lily said. "My mother wrote to me right after I was attacked, demanding that I come home. I was furious that she could even ask that of me. I mean this is my world now, not the muggle world. I couldn't just leave. But still it was hard to tell her 'no' because I knew it would disappoint her."

"I could see the worry in my father's eyes when he realized I wasn't going to come with him. And maybe I should have done what he wanted, but I could never have been okay with a decision to leave, not like this."

"Then I think you made the right decision," Lily said.

"I think you made the right one, too. You're supposed to be in this world Lily, no matter what any bigots might do or say. You're a better witch than they will ever be. You proved that on Saturday."

"Thank you, Daphne. I'm really sorry about Regal."

"Thank you, and thank you for keeping him safe."

"I can't take credit for that," Lily said with a small, sad smile.

"Well, thank you all the same."

* * *

Another day had come and gone and still Alice could find no relief. She was beginning to doubt she would ever close her eyes without seeing the image of Regal's dying moments emblazoned across her mind. She wanted to talk to someone. But she also didn't. All of her friends were all still reeling from the attack in their own ways. Frank had been quieter, more sullen. Lily looked as if she was barely sleeping, and James too seemed to be developing bags under his eyes. Remus and Sirius were preoccupied with worrying over Peter, Daphne spent each night crying, and Mary was doing everything she could to help Daphne. She thought about writing to her parents or even Healer Longbottom but every time she wrote that letter in her mind it sounded stupid. Here she was a girl who had along with three other teenagers battled the greatest dark wizard ever, and she was upset by the images of a girl's eyes. Yup she was crazy.

But then she remembered something. There was someone else she could talk too. She looked at the clock beside her bed. It was well after one in the morning. Oh well, she thought. Professor McGonagall had said she was available to talk at ANY time.

She put her robe on and made her way down the stairs, through the common room, and out into the corridor, waking a grumbling Fat Lady in the process. She fully expected to run into Filch, or Peeves, or Mrs. Norris, but was unencumbered as she made her way to Professor McGonagall's office and living quarters. She took a deep breath before knocking.

"Miss Fortescue, what on earth is it? Is someone sick?" Professor McGonagall said as she opened the door, dressed in her familiar tartan dressing gown.

"No, Professor, everything is fine."

"Well then what are you doing here," Professor McGonagall asked.

"I needed to talk about what happened. I'm sorry it's so late, but…"

"Not at all," Professor McGonagall said ushering Alice into her apartment. "I'll just brew us a cup of tea."

"Thank you," Alice said.

"I'm not surprised that you find yourself needing to talk," McGonagall said. "You, Frank, Lily, and James accomplished something not many grown wizards have done. I can only imagine how terrified you were."

"Actually that's not what's bothering me," Alice said. "I was scared facing him, but I was pretty sure I was going to die so it was almost like I had nothing to lose."

"If that's not what's bothering you what is?"

"I saw when Regal died. And I don't just mean I saw her fall to the ground or saw the curse hit her or whatever. We were looking at each other when she died. I saw the acceptance in her eyes and I saw it in her eyes when she died. And now I can't stop seeing it."

"I see," the Professor said. "I can only imagine what a burden that is for you, Alice. And I wish there was something I could do to make that go away, but I'm afraid short of a memory spell which I won't do, there's nothing I can do to get rid of that image."

"I figured," Alice said going to rise.

"Wait," Professor McGonagall said. "That does not mean that there's not something that can be done to work through this."

"Like what," Alice asked.

"You see what you saw as a bad thing, and understandably so, but what if you could use it to help someone else."

"How could what I saw help someone?"

"On Sunday I sat for a long time in this office and talked with Regal's parents. More than anything else, the thing they most wanted to know was if Regal was scared or in pain when she died. You can give them those answers. And maybe by helping them to find peace, you will find peace yourself."

* * *

Barty Crouch Jr. was being released from the Hospital Wing today. Madame Pomfrey had told him numerous times to count his blessings as he was just so luck that none of those curses that had produced so many deep lacerations on his body had hit major arteries, even though some had come close. Little did she know, luck had nothing to do with it. He had been very careful and patient when slicing himself open not to do any lasting damage, but still make it severe enough to be believable. And it had done his job. He had avoided the attack, but was still being hailed as a hero just like all the other injured. His mother had wept over his bedside and even his father had seemed pleased, if only because it had given him a good human interest piece in the Daily Prophet that had garnered him sympathy from the public.

As he sat there in bed, waiting for Madame Pomfrey to come and release him, he noticed a note on his bedside table. It hadn't been there before so where had it come from? He snatched it up quickly, tearing it open.

Mr. Crouch,

Glad to hear you are on the mend from your terrible "injuries." You're cleverness and intelligence has been noted. Meet me at the place where you had your final meeting with Bertram Aubrey tomorrow night at 7. Come alone or everyone will find out exactly what happened to Aubrey and where to find him.

Barty felt as if his heart was beating a thousand beats a minute. How was this possible? No one had known about him killing that stupid idiot. And how could this person know that his injuries were fake? And just who was this person and what did they want from him?

* * *

Gentry Baddock sat in her bedroom at her desk flipping through her Transfiguration textbook. It was Friday. It had been six days since the attack, five since she had left Hogwarts. Her first batch of assignments which the teachers had sent her by owl on Monday were due by the coming Monday. This Transfiguration essay was the last thing she had to complete. And she would be done with it if only she could find a specific quote she remembered reading that she wanted to use to support her claim in the conclusion.

"What are you doing?" her little brother Kenton asked in a sing-song voice. She smiled a warm smile at him. It was weird being back home full time, but she loved being home with her little brother. He was ten years old, and very frail. He had been born so premature that magic had just barely been enough to save him. He was still very small for his age, looking more like a tall seven year old than a ten year old. His parents were hopeful that he would be able to attend Hogwarts next year, but Gentry had always worried about him getting teased for his small stature. If she was unable to return next year, which seemed unlikely as Voldemort was unlikely to be stopped in half a year, then her brother would be forced to board the train alone, something his older sister was not sure she could stand. The creases that appeared on her mother's forehead every time her little brother mentioned something about Hogwarts told her that she wasn't the only one who was having such doubts.

"I'm working on homework. Do you want to see?" She asked sweetly.

"Yeah," he nodded his head excitedly. Climbing atop her lap to look at the book, something he was still small enough to do. "Will I be able to do all this one day?"

"Of course you will," she said ruffling his hair affectionately.

"I can't wait till I get to learn to do magic. Then I can be a hero like you," he said with awe in his voice.

"I'm not a hero, Kenton. I just tried to help the best I could."

"But were you scared?"

"Of course I was," she said nodding her head vigorously.

"But you did it anyway. That makes you a hero."

"You're silly, but I love you."

"I love you too," he said getting up off her lap and heading back to the door. "Mom said to tell you to be wrapping up in the next few minutes because dinner would be ready soon."

"Okay, I'll be down in a few minutes."

He disappeared down the stairs and she continued her hunt through the chapter to find the quote. She heard a crash down the stairs and raised her head, but heard nothing more. She wasn't too concerned. Her brother sometimes got over excited trying to help set the table and plates crashing to the ground were a semi-regular occurrence.

"There it is!" She exclaimed to herself.

She marked the page and starred the quote so she would be able to find it again after dinner. She made her way down the stairs and turned into the dining room, expecting to find her family already sitting down to dinner, but the room was empty. Even more surprising was that even though she had heard a crash she attributed to plates, there were no places set on the table. She listened for the sound of bustle in the kitchen, but she heard nothing. In fact, she had heard nothing since the crash. A feeling of foreboding was building in her stomach. She reached into her pocket and extracted her wand. She eased around the corner into the kitchen but it too was empty.

That left the living room, the only room downstairs with direct access from the street. Her heart was pounding so loud in her chest that she felt sure anyone in the house could hear it. She nudged the door to the living room open with her foot, holding her wand out firmly in front of her. At this moment she wished fervently she had actually fought in the battle on Saturday and had some real world experience, instead of just Defense Against the Dark Arts.

As soon as she stepped into the living room she saw them. Her parents and younger brother were all in chairs with their hands and feet bound, their mouths gagged. The family house elf, Gidget, who had been almost a nanny to her and her brother, was dead on the floor. A foot print was clearly visible on her face where someone had clearly stepped on her.

She turned quickly to find their attackers. Her heart plummeted. One or two Death Eaters she might have been able to miraculously handle, but there were easily a dozen of them, all with their wands trained directly on her.

"Let my family go," she said as clearly as she could, trying to keep her voice from shaking. "I'm the one you have a problem with, they didn't do anything."

"Aw, how sweet," one of the Death Eaters said, stepping forward. She removed her hood and mask. It was Bellatrix Black. She was feared even among Slytherins, for her specialties were well known. "You want us to just take you, spare them, is that it dearie?"

"Yes," she said.

"If you wanted to sacrifice yourself you should have just died on Saturday. But you sold yourself out to the other side. Ran and tattled to Dumbledore. And now you need to be punished."

"Then punish me but leave them alone. They have nothing to do with any of this."

"Drop your wand then," Bellatrix said, nodding to the wand in her hand. "If you cooperate then I see no reason why we can't honor your request." She dropped her wand immediately. She would do whatever necessary to protect her family.

"Bind her" Bellatrix said to one of the Death Eaters behind her. She felt herself being forced into a chair that had apparently been summoned out of thin air. Ropes bounded her tightly against the back of the chair and also wrapped around her arms and feet.

"Now that we're all cozy, where were we?" Bellatrix said. The other Death Eaters were surrounding the room. Their purpose seemed to have been served, with the family no overpowered. It was clearly Bellatrix who was running this show.

"You were going to let my family go," Gentry said.

"'Ah, yes, but the thing is you betrayed your House and the purity of your blood when you ran to Dumbledore, you had to have learned that behavior somewhere. After all, you're only a little girl. Surely your parents must have taught you to disrespect the Dark Lord."

"No, no, they didn't," Gentry said shaking her head desperately.

"You, Baddock," Bellatrix said, turning to Gentry's father, "Did you encourage your daughter to be so subversive? Did you teach her to put the lives of mudbloods over the good of wizard kind?" She waved her wand and the gag in Gentry's father's mouth disappeared.

"No, no I didn't," Mr. Baddock said, his voice shaking with fear. "But I'm proud of her. She did what was necessary to save the lives of her fellow students and I love her."

"I see," Bellatrix said. "Let's see how proud of her you are now," she said darkly. "Crucio!"

"No! Leave him alone please!" Gentry yelled. Her please intermixed with her father's tortured shrieks. She could see the tears running down the faces of her mother, the terror in her beloved baby brother's eyes. She knew both were mirrored on her own face.

It went on forever, or at least it seemed to. Bellatrix stopped several times to ask her father if he was still proud of his daughter. Each time he answered in the affirmative and the torture began again.

Gentry screamed and pleaded. After three times she stopped pleading with the Death Eaters and instead pleaded with her father.

"It's okay Daddy, you can tell them you're not proud of me. I understand. This is all my fault."

Her father meekly turned his head to look at his daughter. Some of the blood vessels had burst in his eye due to his own screaming and thrashing. Bruises were already beginning to form on his face and arms. "I am proud of you Gentry. This isn't your fault and I won't deny you."

And so it continued on. Finally after what seemed like hours but in reality was only around 30 minutes, Bellatrix relented. Her victim was sprawled on the floor, not moving and barely breathing.

"Avada Kedavra!" She shouted pointing her wand at the innate figure of Gentry Baddock's father. He was dead and Gentry felt a huge part of herself die with her.

"So, let's see, what about you Mummy? Are you proud of your little muggle-loving brat?"

"You can burn in hell," her mother said defiantly. Bellatrix said nothing, only smiled at her next victim.

And so it happened again. Bellatrix Black tortured her mother for minutes and minutes on end. She stopped several times to ask her if she was still proud of her daughter, each time her mother declared her love for both her children and the madness went on. And then she too was dead.

And then what Gentry had been dreading from the moment she walked into the room, Bellatrix turned to look at Kenton. He looked even smaller now, tied to chair, terrified after having watched both his parents brutally murdered.

"How about you little baby? Are you proud of your big sister?" She asked in a mocking, baby tone.

"YOU COMPLETE BITCH! YOU LEAVE MY LITTLE BROTHER ALONE!" Gentry snarled. A white hot flame slapped across her face and she bit back a scream at the pain.

"Manners, dearie, I am a guest after all," Bellatrix said with a sadistic grin.

"I am proud of my big sister. She's the best big sister. And she protected other kids from mean people like you," Kenton spoke up.

His screams pierced Gentry to her very core. She sobbed along with him, tried to comfort him. She told him he would be with their parents soon and that she would be there not long after. She told him repeatedly how much she loved him. And then he too was dead.

"Come along now," Bellatrix said to the other Death Eaters, "We've done what we were ordered to do."

"What?" Gentry said, panic setting in on her. "No! You can't leave! You have to kill me too! Please! Please kill me too!" She said sobbing as they exited her house, leaving her alone with the dead bodies of her family, still bound to the chair.

She screamed. She screamed for help. She screamed for death. She screamed. But no one came. Not the neighbors, and not the Aurors. She couldn't understand it. Even if they hadn't been able to hear her scream, by now the Dark Mark had to be glistening for all to see over her house. Someone had to have seen it.

"No one can hear you," the cold voice said disdainfully. She looked up. She supposed she should feel fear at the sight of the snake-like face, the cold mirthless red eyes. But all she felt was relief. She would die by the end of this encounter. Her waiting was just another part of her punishment. And she would welcome death. But she would not beg for it. Not again. Not from him. She would not give him, the man, the monster, responsible for her family's deaths, for the death of Regal, and so many others, that satisfaction. She would be brave like her brother thought she was. And if she could make him mad, and provoke him into killing her faster, well that was all the better.

"It must be a slow night," Gentry said not breaking eye contact, even though those red eyes freaked her out to no end, "for you to bother with personally killing a fifteen year old kid."

"Don't be so modest," he said almost civilly. "You undermined months of planning and preparation. You are very important to me."

"Or maybe you're just feeling a little self-conscious? After all, you were bested by four seventeen year olds, so maybe you figured you'd better stick to the underage, not fully trained?"

For the first time that night she felt what it was like to be tortured by the Cruciatus Curse, but it was over just moments later.

"I would have killed those impertinent and pesky little nuisances if it hadn't been for the old fool showing up. And he wouldn't have even known I was there if it weren't for you."

"I wouldn't be so sure if I were you," she said. "I don't know Frank and Alice that well, but you underestimate Lily Evans and James Potter at your own peril."

"Three blood traitors and a mudblood are no match for me," he said dismissively. "And rest assured, they'll get what's coming to them, but for now, I'm more interested in you."

"Why me?"

"You're a Slytherin. A Slytherin Prefect, much like I once was. Why would you betray your House to protect mudbloods and blood traitors?"

"Because as a school prefect my duty wasn't just to my house it was to the whole school. And I wasn't going to let kids, innocent children, from any house die if I could do something to stop it."

"So in short, like Dumbledore, you were motivated by that idiotic notion of 'love'."

"I suppose I was," she said.

"And do you regret it? Seeing what your decision has caused you and your family?" He said motioning to the dead bodies surrounding them.

"After seeing what you and your monsters are capable of, I've never been more certain I made the decision."

"So be it," he said. "Avada Kedavra!"

Gentry Baddock, age 15, a few months younger than her fellow fifth year Prefect Regal Shacklebolt, fell to the ground with the same dull thud as Regal had only six days previous. They were both dead because they had put the safety of others above that of their own selves.

And Voldemort couldn't help but laugh as he made his way back out into the night. What a fool the silly little girl had been! Refusing even at the moment of her death to beg for mercy, to apologize for her error; and to think she had almost single-handedly ruined his plan. But she was right about one thing, she could not take full credit for that. Four more teenagers had spited him on that day, and rest assured they would pay as well.

* * *

A/N: Okay so after reading that last bit I hope you understand why this took so long. I couldn't write more than a little bit of that at a time. As I said, everything in this chapter has huge ramifications and I bet you might even be able to make some predictions about what those ramifications might be. I'd love to hear your theories!

A couple additional things… The Hufflepuffs! I've been asked a couple of times why I seem to favor them over say the Ravenclaws and give them a more starring role in the battle and such. My answer is that personally I'm more of a Ravenclaw (I knew my Pottermore sorting was accurate because I can be really brainy and nerdy especially about History) BUT with the MAJOR exception of Luna (and maybe Cho but who really likes her anyway? NOT ME! TEAM GINNY!) Harry interacts a lot more with the Hufflepuffs and they generally have his back and are LOYAL to Harry and Dumbledore. After all, its Ernie MacMillan who demands that older students be allowed to stay and fight in DH. And don't forget about Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones, and Justin Finch-Fletchley (who admittedly had a problem with Harry in CoS but you'd be scared if the kid seemed to be setting a snake on you too). So I stand by my love of the Hufflepuffs! And really isn't it about time they got some credit?


	55. Chapter 55

Barty Crouch Jr. made his way to the spot where he had killed Aubrey. He had his wand drawn, ready for a fight at any moment. He wouldn't have come at all, but he couldn't risk not knowing who knew his secret. He situated himself between the trees facing the castle so that he could see anyone who approached, but when he came, came from the trees behind Crouch.

"I'm glad you came," Snape said in a silky voice, "it would have been an exercise in boredom to draw this out."

Crouch attempted to cast a non-verbal hex at Snape but was blocked almost immediately.

"Your silly attempts won't work on me," Snape said dismissively. "Not only am I a born legilimens, but my craft has been refined and sharpened by the Dark Lord himself."

Crouch surveyed Snape for a long moment, and then lowered his wand, but did not put it away.

"What do you want with me?"

"It's more a question of what I can do for you," Snape said.

"I don't want anything from you," Crouch said in his snottiest voice. He was after the all his parents' child. His mother had spoiled him like a prince, and his father had invested in him a well-bred since of superiority. The combination did not make for the most agreeable of individuals.

"Really? Nothing at all?" Snape questioned skeptically. "So you don't long to be out of your father's shadow forever, to make him pay for all the years of his own ineptitude, for saddling you with his name? You don't long for the recognition you deserve, to be one of kind?"

"Alright mind reader, you have my attention. How could you possibly help me to accomplish all those things?"

"Oh, not me," Snape said. "You've caught the attention of the Dark Lord. He sees a lot of himself in you. He thinks you have potential."

"And what does he want from me?"

"Nothing, just for you to be aware that he's noticed you. He wants to give you time to think of what that could mean for you and your future."

* * *

Lily and James held hands as they made their way through the portrait hole back into their common room. They had spent Friday evening in the company of their friends in Gryffindor Tower. Lily, Alice, Daphne, and Mary had spent most of the time flipping through various magazines and just relaxing, enjoying talking about nothing important for what felt like the first time in forever. Similarly, James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Frank had played an epic match of exploding snap and unleashed the pent up frustration of everything that had unfolded on the cards.

"Did you have fun tonight?" James asked.

"Yeah, I did, I think we all needed it. What about you?"

"Yeah, it felt good to not have the weight of world weighing on everything for an evening."

"To feel like normal seventeen year olds again," Lily said, slightly saddened by the fact that none of them would ever be normal seventeen year olds again.

"YES!" James said pulling her into his arms and kissing her hard on the lips.

"What was that for?" She said as she pulled away several minutes later.

"Trying to feel seventeen," he said with a suggestive raise of his eyebrows.

"You're incorrigible," she said with a roll of her eyes, but nevertheless kissed him again before she untangled herself to make her way to her room.

"Wait," James said.

"What?" She turned to look at him with a curious gaze.

"I just thought…" he paused, unsure of how exactly to proceed.

"What?" She asked more softly this time returning to his side. She ran her hand through his soft brown hair, loving the feeling of it in her hands.

"It's stupid," he said shrugging.

"Don't," Lily said going on her tip toes so she could look him directly in the eyes. "What were you going to say?"

"I thought maybe should sleep together."

"What?" Lily said backing up, blush flooding her face. I mean, sure, she thought about what that would be like a lot, but she was nowhere near ready for that."

"That came out wrong," James said, and Lily was surprised to see his faced tinged pink as well. James Potter didn't blush, and he definitely didn't blush about sex.

She lifted her eyebrow skeptically and motioned with him to continue.

"I meant that you've had nightmares every night since the attack, and I haven't been sleeping all that well either between thinking about everything and worrying about you and…"

"Nearly breaking your neck in your attempts to get to me when I'm scared," Lily said gently.

"That too," He agreed. "I thought maybe we might do better together."

"Okay," Lily said, before she could think about it. She knew that there were a million reasons why this was a bad idea, adding numerous complications to their relationship, but at that moment she didn't care. She needed him, and he had been so adorably nervous when he asked that she couldn't bear the idea of turning him down.

"Really?" He said, surprised.

"You sound shocked?"

"My track record of asking you things isn't that great Evans."

"Fair enough," Lily said with a smile. "Come on, let's go to bed, Potter."

"I never thought I'd hear those words from your mouth Evans," James said with a rogue grin.

"Don't push it, Potter."

* * *

Lily smiled as she woke up the next morning. She felt well-rested, happy, and…her mind cast about for the right word. Safe, she felt safe for the first time since the attack. And she knew it was ridiculous. She wasn't safe, none of them were, but she couldn't help but cling to the feeling of security she felt right at this moment wrapped in the arms of James Potter.

Her head rested on his bare chest, tucked under his chin. She was encased in both his arms, while one of hers was also draped across his stomach. Looking at him sleeping, half naked beside her, was enough to cause her entire body to tingle, feel on fire. If they stayed like this forever she didn't think she'd have a problem with that.

She gently placed her lips to his chest, placing the softest of kisses to his shoulder.

"I like this," James said with a sigh, startling her slightly as she hadn't realized he was awake.

"What?" she asked.

"Waking up with you in my arms," he said looking down at her.

"Me too," she said quietly as she rose up slightly to better look at him.

He ran his fingers through her hair before bringing her face down to his and kissing her softly on the lips. Their lips moved against each other in tandem, their intensity growing steadily. He had intended for it to be a fairly innocent kiss, but she clearly had other ideas as her hands were currently roaming across his chest in ways that were setting his skin ablaze.

He rolled them over so that he was hovering above her as he lowered his lips to kiss her neck and that sensitive spot right behind her ear that always made her gasp in the most enticing of ways when he sucked it lightly just as he was doing now.

One of her hands was now tangled in his hair, while the other made circles on his back.

He really wanted to touch her too. She was wearing a tank top and short, sleep shorts that were driving him absolutely crazy. He cautiously allowed his hand to gently land on her midriff where the tank top hand risen up slightly. When she didn't protest, he slowly began to move his hand up further under her tank top. He was mere inches away from his destination when she must have gotten impatient with his slow progress and lowered herself slightly so that his hand brushed against the underside of her breast.

"Bloody hell," he cursed under his breath amazed that he hadn't lost himself right there. He couldn't believe where his hand was at this very moment.

"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans," the voice of Bridget the portrait sounded like a cannon blast into the room, causing them to jump apart.

"Bloody hell," he repeated for entirely different reasons.

"Yes Bridget," Lily said her voice much higher than usual.

"Professor Dumbledore needs to see you both immediately. It is an emergency."

Their eyes found each other immediately. They watched as the color drained from both of their faces; where moments before both of their faces had been flushed first with desire and then embarrassment, now they both wore the chalk-white masks of dread. Nothing good had ever come from one of these summons.

"We'll be right there," James said without ever taking his eyes off of Lily's.

* * *

"What do you reckon?" James asked as he and Lily made their way out into the empty corridor minutes later having thrown on their clothes and hastily arranging their robes even now as they walked.

"Jackson," Lily said with remorse.

"Yeah," James agreed. They didn't say more, there was no need. They were both thinking the same thing, that Jackson Peakes had finally lost his battle to survive his injuries.

"Enter" Dumbledore's voice sounded a million years old, and tired, as he spoke from inside his office.

Lily and James did as they were instructed. They had expected, similar to when they were told about Bertram Aubrey, an office full of teachers, but only Professor Dumbledore waited for them within.

"Please sit," Dumbledore gestured to the chairs in front of his desk. "I'm sorry to pull you from your beds this early on a Saturday, but I'm afraid that I must once again tell you of the death of a Hogwarts student."

"Jackson," they both said simultaneously.

"No," Dumbledore said surveying them both. "I just heard from the Healer in charge of his care late yesterday evening. Jackson is still defying the odds. He is still in a coma but his organs are now functioning on their own, without the aid of magic."

"Excellent," James said, "but then if not Jackson, who?"

"Gentry Baddock," Dumbledore answered solemnly.

Lily gasped. This couldn't be happening, not again. They had both been expecting Jackson's death, but this was entirely new attack, not a carryover from the last one. She felt James grab her hand and squeeze it reassuringly, but she wasn't sure anything could reassure her at this moment.

"How?" James asked.

"Badly," Dumbledore answered bitterly. "The Dark Mark had been fired above her house. Her mother, father, and younger brother were found bound with obvious signs of torture. The Healers estimate that they were killed up to two hours before Gentry, so it is believed…"

"They made her watch," Lily supplied in a hollow voice. She took a sip of the water Dumbledore had summoned for them, in order to force the bile that had risen from her stomach back down her throat.

"Yes," Dumbledore answered. "She was also almost certainly killed by Voldemort himself."

"He killed her? Himself?" James questioned, looking up.

"Yes, I believe so," Dumbledore said, sharing a look of understanding with James.

"So this was about the attack on Hogsmede. He knows that she was the one who alerted you."

"It would seem so, James."

"That wasn't released in the paper," Lily said looking up from her water. "Only a few people in Hogwarts knew about that."

"Well apparently somehow one of the Death Eaters here found out about it," James said bitterly.

"How they found out about it isn't want concerns me," Professor Dumbledore said. "People talk, word could have spread, and then with Gentry's disappearance from school so quickly, assumptions could certainly have been made. What concerns me is how Voldemort found out. How did the students loyal to him here in Hogwarts manage to relay that information to him? Owl communications are being monitored, as are all of the Flew Connections within the school, so how are they communicating with him?"

"Do you have any theories, sir?" James asked.

"Many, but each as unlikely as the next."

"What do you want us to do, sir?" Lily asked.

"For now, nothing, only what you are already doing, keep your eyes and ears open, as well as those of your friends," he said surveying them over the top of his half-moon spectacles. And Lily knew that he knew all about the late night meetings between her, James, the marauders, Frank, Alice, and Aidan.

* * *

Lily and James sat in their Common Room, hands intertwined, waiting. Neither of them said what they were waiting for. They didn't need to; they were both waiting for the same thing.

"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans," Bridget began but was cut off by James.

"Send them in," he said.

And so in they came. Sirius and Alice came first. Lily was sure they probably had both jumped up immediately upon seeing the headline in the Daily Prophet and had run paces ahead of the others to get here as soon as they could. Next were Remus and Aidan, huddled together behind the Daily Prophet, still reading it as they entered. And bringing up the rear were Peter and Frank. Peter was carrying a basket full of food he had clearly snatched up off the Gryffindor Table; Frank was carrying a pitcher of pumpkin juice of similar origin.

"Excellent," James said upon seeing them. "I'm starving!"

"Figured you would be with the early morning I'm guessing you had," Peter said with a smile as he sat the basket full of food on the coffee table.

Lily waved her wand and summoned plates and glasses for everyone as they all took their seats.

"What's Dumbledore say?" Sirius questioned as he bit in to a muffin.

"She was killed by Voldemort, personally." James answered solemnly.

"Her family was tortured probably by Death Eaters," Lily added.

"I'll take one wild guess who that was," Sirius said darkly.

"Dumbledore is worried about how he found out. He can't figure out how the Death Eaters here are communicating with Voldemort."

"And he's sure no one on the outside knew?" Alice asked.

"Yes, he kept it quiet," Lily answered. "He didn't even tell anyone at the ministry about her involvement."

"So it had to come from here at Hogwarts," James said darkly. "What's the Prophet say?" He asked addressing Remus and Aidan.

"They obviously don't know the reason behind the attack, at least not the real reason," Remus answered.

"But there's this that's giving them plenty to speculate about," Aidan said handing the paper over the Lily and James, the only two who had yet to see it. Directly beneath the headline was a picture obviously taken from the crime scene. The picture showed a wall within the Baddock house, written in blood on the wall was a message: TRAITORS FATE.

"That's disgusting," Lily said turning away.

"The Prophet assumes its talking about her parents. They think they must have done something to upset them." Aidan elaborated.

"How do they explain them being killed and tortured first then?" James asked.

"They're guessing that Gentry wasn't initially home and interrupted the attack." Remus answered.

"They have no reason to think that it would all be about targeting a fifteen year old girl," Frank said.

"People should know the truth," Alice said. "It was one thing when it was to keep her safe, but she's dead now. She was killed because of the fact that she risked her life for all of us, for everyone. People should know that she was a hero."

"I agree," Lily said.

"So how would we do that?" Sirius asked, sitting up straighter, ready for any action.

"An Open Letter to the Prophet?" Aidan questioned.

"I like that," Remus said, nodding his head. "We could each talk about what it was like, how Gentry stepped up to act."

"Yeah, about how it gave us hope knowing that someone was going to Dumbledore," Frank supplied.

"I could talk about how she wasn't afraid when I showed her the passageway," Peter added.

"Can we write it now?" Sirius asked.

"I don't see why not," Lily said, summoning herself a piece of parchment, a quill, and a pot of ink.

"We'll need to clear it with Dumbledore before we send it," James said. "To make sure we don't compromise anything the Order doesn't want known, but I think it's a good idea."

And so they wrote:

"To the Editors of the Daily Prophet,

Gentry Baddock was not a friend of ours. As a matter of principle Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs don't really associate with Slytherins, but all of that changed on the day of the attack on Hogsmede. While the majority of older Slytherins were mysteriously missing that day, Gentry was in Hogsmede. And when the attack began, she was the first to condemn the absence of her housemates. But she did more than that. She also is the reason that any of us survived. She showed exceptional bravery navigating her way back to Hogwarts through a passageway that she had no prior knowledge of, and alerted Professor Dumbledore about the attack and Voldemort's presence in Hogsmede. While the rest of us remained in Hogsmede fighting Voldemort and his Death Eaters it was an immeasurable help to have even the slightest hope that Dumbledore was on his way because of Gentry. It meant we didn't have to hold out indefinitely, only until he could get to us.

Following the attack Gentry asked for no reward and no recognition because she knew that both could be a danger to her and her family. Yet she was still killed for her bravery. People within Hogwarts loyal to Voldemort relayed the information to him, and that is why she and her family were killed. In her death she should receive the recognition denied to her in life. We owe her our life, and we will never forget her."

Sincerely,

Lily Evans, Head Girl

James Potter, Head Boy

Remus Lupin, Gryffindor Prefect

Aidan MacMillan, Hufflepuff Prefect

Sirius Black, Gryffindor Seventh Year

Alice Fortescue, Gryffindor Seventh Year

Frank Longbottom, Gryffindor Seventh Year

Peter Pettigrew, Gryffindor Seventh Year

* * *

Lily left Professor Slughorn's office. He had wanted to talk to her again about her applying for her Potions Master's License. But she still wasn't interested.

She still hated being in the dungeons in the evening, but she wasn't afraid anymore. Like Potter had said if any of them wanted to try something, let them. She was willing to have that fight.

And speaking of a fight she was willing to have, the person she was most itching to have a go at was currently following her in what she imagined he thought to be a surreptitious pace behind her. Well, she had once known him to well to not be aware of his presence, especially here.

"What do you want?" She said turning on him suddenly, catching him by surprise, her wand already drawn.

He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender.

"Just to talk," Severus said.

"Then talk," Lily said, but made no move to lower her wand.

"You don't have to be afraid of me," Severus said, as if the idea was painful to him.

"I'm not," Lily said with no hesitation in her voice. "Now, you said you wanted to talk, so talk."

"I wanted to see how you were doing," Severus said, taking a step closer to her. "I heard you were hurt."

"I'm fine." She spat, bitterly.

"But the cuts on your face, your arms," he said gesturing to the long gash on her face, and the deeper abrasions on her arms.

"Are absolutely nothing compared to what happened to Regal. She's dead! And what about Jackson? Or Dorcas? Or Harper? But I don't suppose you care about them, about any of the others who were hurt at Hogsmede. Or Gentry, as I imagine you know all about what happened to her."

He ignored her words and said instead, "I was so worried when I heard you were there. I was terrified that something was going to happen to you. You were supposed to be safe with me, working on your Potions License."

Lily laughed, even though nothing was funny.

"I was where I was supposed to be," Lily said.

"With Potter?" Snape growled. "He's going to get you killed. He already almost did!"

"How dare you! How dare you talk about him putting me in danger! He wasn't the one who helped bring Voldemort to Hogsmede."

"I'm the only one that can protect you. The Dark Lord has already marked Potter for death. He's going to kill him, himself, but he's not going to hurt you. I've arranged for you to be protected."

Lily took a step back. It wasn't like she and James hadn't been expecting this, but hearing it was something entirely different.

Snape took another step toward her, reaching out his hand to touch her.

"I'll always protect you," he whispered as his hand reached to touch her hair. But he never got the chance. He gasped as his body was sent careening into the wall behind him, the force of Lily's shield charm knocking him to the ground.

"Don't touch me. EVER." Lily said, moving to stand over him. "Now, you listen and you listen good, Severus Snape. If so much as a hair on James Potter's head is damaged, you'll answer to ME. I WILL END YOU. And I won't need magic to do it. I will WRIP YOU LIMB FROM LIMB." She flicked her wand and was immensely satisfied to hear the crunch of his nose as it broke.

"You don't belong with him," he sputtered through the haze of blood gushing from his nose.

"You're wrong. My place is and always will be with him, at his side." She said, backing up, walking away from him, but keeping her wand trained on him.

"He'll be the death of you!" Snape cried out, miserably.

"So be it," Lily said. "But any curse meant for him is going through me first."

* * *

Lily barely suppressed a scream of rage as she barreled through the portrait hole following her confrontation with Snape. How dare he? Did he really think that she would ever accept safety from him, especially if it meant James was still in danger? What good would her life be if James was dead?

"Hey," James said glancing up from where he was working on homework at their study table. But upon seeing the thunderous look on her face, one he was well accustomed too, he rose instantly and was at her side in an instant.

"What happened?" He asked. "I doubt Slughorn could get that kind of rise out of you," he said taking her by the hand and pulling her over to the couch.

"Snape!" she blurted out angrily. James stiffened immediately and reached for his own wand.

"What did he do?" James said standing up. Lily had no doubt that he would happily go hunt Snape down at that very instant—her knight in shining armor.

"Sit down," she said looking up at him. "I already broke his nose."

"Excellent," James said a fiendish glee spreading across his face. "I wish I could have seen that."

"I only wish I'd used my fist instead of my wand, but I didn't want Death Eater on my hand," Lily replied darkly.

"That's not like you," James said looking at her once again as he sat down beside her. "What did he do?" He asked more gently this time.

"He said that I shouldn't have been in Hogsmede that day. I was supposed to be with him and Slughorn working on my Potions License. He said that you were marked for death," she said turning to look at him with tears in her eyes.

"We already figured as much," he said brushing off the news of his death mark as inconsequential.

"Assuming it and hearing it confirmed are two different things," Lily said. "I won't lose you." She said firmly as she took his face in her hands and kissed him.

"You won't," James assured her.

"You don't know that, you can't," she said, tears streaming down her face.

"I know," James said, kissing her gently as he wiped away her tears.

They held each other for several long moments, both wrapped up in their own thoughts of the future.

"So why is Snape giving us this warning," James asked.

"To try and scare me away from you," Lily answered bitterly. "It's like he doesn't know me at all," she said.

"Maybe he's right," James said evenly. "Maybe you would be safer away from me."

"Say that again and Voldemort won't need to kill you because I'll do it myself," Lily said angrily turning to look him in the eye.

"I'm just saying," James began.

"Well don't!" Lily exclaimed angrily. "I'll tell you the same thing I told him. My place is at your side, nowhere else."

"We could both die," he said.

"We could both live," she replied.

"Together either way," he said looking at her with a faint smile.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," she replied.

* * *

"I keep blaming myself for Regal dying," Peter said. It was the first time he had talked about this with the other boys. He and the other three boys were sitting by the lake, which was half frozen by the cold winter air, but he had needed to talk and this was as good a place as any.

"How could it possibly be your fault?" Remus asked.

"She was in Honeydukes!" Peter cried out. "She was in Honeydukes trying to get back to Hogwarts. She should have never even tried to get across that road. I should have told her about the passageway in the basement."

"That wasn't your fault, Peter." James said. "It was mine. I made the decision to only use the one passageway. I felt that it would be too difficult to defend them all, but Regal not knowing about it is on my conscience, not yours."

"You're the Head Boy. You have to think about everyone's safety. I was her boyfriend. I should have told her."

"Neither of you are responsible," Sirius said. "You weren't the ones who made sure that there were no teachers there. You weren't the ones who made sure that we couldn't apparate, or floo for help. Voldemort and his Death Eaters are to blame for this, no one else."

"Sirius is right," Remus said. "But we can't dwell on the past. I more worried about if they try something again."

"We need to get rid of the map," Peter said darkly.

"That seems a bit drastic," Sirius said.

"Pete's right," James said. "I'd been thinking the same thing ever since the attack."

"But it's the map!" Sirius said, looking to each of the boys in shock.

"We know where all the passageways are," Remus replied. "We don't really need it anymore."

"Don't need it?" Sirius said. "Are you crazy? Besides it's ours! We made it together."

"I know," Peter said. "It's part of who we are part of our identity as the Marauders."

"Then why get rid of it?" Sirius asked.

"Because it's dangerous," James said. "Dumbledore closed up the two passageways that everyone now knows about, but what if someone found out about the others? If Snape or one of the Death Eaters got their hands on the map, it's not only a map into Hogwarts but it's a map to Dumbledore, to us. It's too dangerous."

"Okay," Sirius said nodding his head. "But we're not destroying it. We'll put more safe guards on it, to protect it from prying eyes. And then we'll put it somewhere that only future troublemakers would be able to find it; only the worthy successors to the Marauders."

"And where would that be?" Remus asked skeptically.

"Filch's office," James and Sirius both answered at the same time, on the same brain wave once again.

* * *

The added precautions were now in place. Sirius had designed them himself so that the map, in the voice of its creators, would insult anyone who tried to breach its defenses. Sirius was especially proud of that.

And now it was time to engage in their last mission with the map as an aid. They tracked Filch using the map as the timing had to be perfect. And as Filch bumbled up the corridor toward them Peter made a show of rushing ahead of him, seemingly surprised by his presence, to where the other boys were gathered around the map. Together, and for the last time, they whispered "mischief managed," and watched as the parchment was wiped clean just as Filch came upon them.

"And just what do you four think you're up to," Filch wheezed, he had run so fast to keep up with Peter.

"Us?" Sirius said innocently. "Why would you think we were up to something, Filchy?" Sirius added in his favorite nickname for the caretaker.

"Because I know you, don't I?" Filch snarled. "What's this, then?" He said grabbing the map out of their hands.

"Spare piece of parchment," James answered.

"Why would the four of you be staring so intently at a blank piece of parchment," Filch asked with narrowed eyes.

"We were wondering how best to make you a card of course," Sirius replied with a snicker.

"Yeah, what's your favorite color?" Peter asked.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" Filch demanded.

"Is that a rhetorical question," Remus questioned.

"Or do you require an answer?" James added.

"Ruddy berks," Filch swore. "Well, if it's just a bit of blank parchment, I guess you won't mind if I take it."

All four boys' eyes widened, causing Filch to smile in victory.

"But it's just a piece of paper," Peter tried helplessly. "We can loan you another piece if you'd like."

"No, I'll keep this one," Filch said. Folding the map up as he went, whistling happily as he made his way back to his office. The boys followed him. They made sure Filch saw them. If he thought they were attempting to steal it back, it would only add to his thinking that the paper was important, and ensure he put it in his maximum security hiding place—a place only the most committed of rule breakers would ever be able to find it.

* * *

"I'm going to miss that map," Sirius said later that night as they sat in the boys dormitory, drinking a bottle of fire whiskey each.

"It's given us a lot of good times," Peter concurred.

"Not to mention the fun we had making it, and learning all about the castle," Remus added.

"To the Marauders Map," James said raising his bottle. "And to those genius creators, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs."

"Here, here!" The other boys responded.

"And to those future troublemakers, whoever they may be. May they use it well," Sirius said, raising his own bottle.

* * *

"Merlin, I can smell the fire whiskey all the way over here," Lily said as she sat down on the opposite side of the couch of James. "How much did you drink?"

"Not very much," James said. "But Peter accidentally spilled some on me when we were toasting something."

"Toasting something? What on earth were you toasting?"

"The end of our wild and carefree marauding days," James said wistfully.

"Yeah right," Lily said with a snort. "The day Sirius stops marauding is something I'll have to see to believe."

"Okay, well maybe it's not the end, but we had to do something responsible and it sucked."

She surveyed him for several long moments.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I suppose it can't hurt now that it's gone," James reasoned. "You always wondered how I was able to find you, wherever you were in the Castle."

"Yeah and how you were having the lads search for Bertram Aubrey without leaving their beds."

"We had a map," James said.

"A map?" Lily questioned.

"We made it ourselves. It had the entire castle, all the secret passageways, and it showed everyone exactly where they were in the castle at any given moment."

"The four of you never cease to amaze me," she said. "That's incredible magic, and you use it for pranks and adventures."

"That's why we're the marauders, love," James said with a grin.

"So why get rid of it now?"

"We didn't want it to fall into the wrong hands," James said.

"I think that's smart," Lily reasoned. "And for the record, I'm proud of you all. I know it couldn't have been an easy decision. I'm sure you worked hard to create the map, so to just get rid of it must have been tough."

"It was," James concurred, "but the risk was too great."

"And Aubrey never showed up on it?" Lily asked after several moments.

"No, never, but it only shows the out boundary of the forest. So he could have been in there and we wouldn't have seen him."

"And you said you didn't know if it would show him if he were dead," Lily asked.

"We never had any cause before to test it," James said.

"No, I suppose you didn't."

They were quiet for a long time, each of them lost in their own thoughts before Lily's burst out of her.

"I hate them!" She exclaimed. "It's not right. It's only the middle of November and we've lost three students! Three kids dead in just three months of school! The four of you shouldn't have to worry about something you made falling into the wrong hands. Every set of hands in this school should be innocent, we're all just kids, damn it! I hate that they've penetrated the walls of this school. I hate feeling like we're amongst enemies. We should be safe here. We knew all along that the danger was waiting for us when we graduated, but now it's not waiting. It's already here! And it's not fair. Kids should be safe in schools."

"I know," James agreed.

* * *

A/N: Okay, so I debated about changing this last scene between James and Lily. I debated it a lot, to be honest, more than I ever have any other scene. Lily was always supposed to say "kids should be safe in schools," but following what happened in Newtown, I didn't know if I should leave the line in or not. But in the end I decided to keep the line, and here's why.

I'm a teacher. It's what I've always wanted to be and currently I'm working as a teacher's assistant for K-2 until I get a fulltime job. Seeing my 5,6, and 7 year olds, and knowing how innocent they are, made my heartbreak even harder upon watching the tragedy unfold.

Lily, more than any of the other characters, has always been my voice in the story. And she doesn't say kids are safe in schools, she says they should be. And more than anything else it is my fervent belief that kids SHOULD be safe in schools.


	56. Chapter 56

Alice watched Professor Sprout closely, waiting until her back was turned, to pull out the offending letter from her bag.

"I got this during post today," she said just loudly enough for Lily, Frank, Aidan, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter to hear her at their large table in the greenhouse where they were supposed to be working on harvesting Ditanous, a close but dangerous cousin of Dittany so they could study the differences. "I wanted to wait and share it when we were all together."

"What is it?" Remus asked curiously, looking up from his plant.

"From the Prophet, apparently our letter isn't worthy of publication," Alice said bitterly.

"What? Let me see that," Frank said grabbing the letter. His brow furrowed as his eyes scanned the parchment.

"Does anyone care to actually share what it says," Sirius said from down the table.

Frank surveyed the greenhouse quickly, raised his textbook, placing the letter within, so that if anyone looked over at them it would appear that Frank was reading a passage aloud and then began:

"Dear Miss Fortescue,

We are grateful for your recent letter and wish to extend our condolences on the loss of your acquaintance. We at the _Daily Prophet_ also wish to commend you and your friends for the bravery shown by you during the incident in Hogsmede. However, at this time we do not feel it is appropriate for us to publish your letter to the editor. We cannot publish a letter that seems to suggest a link between the attack on the Baddock family and the incident in Hogsmede when there is no evidence to suggest the existence of such a link. Thank you again for you submission.

Yours Truly,

Barnabas Cuffe, Junior Editor of the _Daily Prophet_"

"What do they mean 'no evidence of a link'?" Aidan asked angrily. "There's no other reason for the Baddock's to be attacked."

"He's right," Lily added. "Why try and cover it up?"

"Because the Ministry must be telling them to," James said quietly.

"Why?" Alice asked.

"My dad's said for a while now that everyone at the Ministry, including Minister Bagnold, would rather believe that Voldemort is just a troublemaker. They seem particularly devoted to the belief, regardless of how much evidence they get to the contrary, that his Death Eaters are just a small group of devoted followers from the fringe of society. Never mind the fact that their numbers grow every day, they come from some of the most well connected families, both financially and politically, and that Voldemort is a very real threat to the stability of our world. It's easier to deal with it the way they want it to be than how it really is."

"And they can't really have the people believing something different," Aidan reasoned.

"No, and our letter basically says that there are Death Eaters in Hogwarts," James concurred.

"So while the Ministry sticks its head in the sand, he'll just continue to gain more and more power," Alice said.

"The Order will do what it can," Sirius said.

"But without the Ministry, the Order will be on its own against him," Peter said quietly.

* * *

The others continued to work around him, but Peter was lost in thought. He had known that things were bad, but hearing his friends confirm that the Order would be on its own against You-Know-Who was more than he had imagined. He had already lost Regal. He didn't want to die and he didn't want to lose any of his friends.

And he was determined that he wouldn't. He had never minded that he transformed into a rat, despite the teasing of his friends. After all, rats were masters at self-preservation. And so was Peter. His parents has forced him to attend a muggle elementary school prior to attending Hogwarts. He had been so terrified of revealing his magic that he had repressed it beyond the ability any child his age should have had in controlling his powers. So repressed was his magic that for his first few months at Hogwarts he was much slower than his classmates in picking up basic magical skills. His other survival mechanism forged as a child was learning how now to form attachments. He would be friends with whoever would protect him from the bullies, regardless of who they were. It had been such an unbelievable joy and relief to find friends at Hogwarts who fully accepted him and who could also protect him. It was the first time he had ever formed a real attachment and he would do whatever it took to protect himself and his friends.

He didn't know how, but he would find a way. He would keep them all safe. Right or wrong it didn't matter, he would see to it that no harm came to any of them.

* * *

Severus Snape smirked to himself. He had been monitoring Peter Pettigrew's thoughts off and on in Herbology for months, but had until to today not heard anything of any use. He had heard plenty of mundane thoughts regarding his idiot friends and concerns about classes. He had listened to pathetic thoughts about Regal Shacklebolt, both before and after her death. He had listened to Peter listen to the exploits of his friends with girls; this was particularly unpleasant if it involved Potter and Lily. He had sifted through it all, and finally today it paid off.

Because today Snape learned something about Peter Pettigrew: Peter Pettigrew was desperate. He was desperate to do whatever it took to protect his friends, and desperate people were easy to manipulate. It would not be easy, Snape knew that like his friends Peter Pettigrew had no love for the dark arts, and he certainly had no love for Snape (the feeling was more than mutual), but if Peter was as desperate as his thoughts, Snape would be able to turn him. And Peter would be a valuable asset. He would almost certainly become a member of the Order, and, even more importantly in Snape's mind, he was close to James Potter. If he could convince Peter that he was doing what was necessary to protect his friends, while managing to get information out of him that could lead to Potter's capture and death, it would be amazing. Potter would be dead, and Lily would have no choice but to recognize the truth in everything Snape had told her.

* * *

"What's the matter with you?" Sirius asked James as he dealt the cards for exploding snap. He and the other Marauders were gathered in the boys' dormitory room following their classes. Frank was off somewhere with Alice, so they were alone. "You've been quiet all day."

"Just thinking," James said.

"About what?" Remus asked.

"Evans, obviously," Peter supplied. "Since when does he think about anything else?"

"Screw you, Wormy," James said with a grin.

"Well, clearly, Wormy hit that nail close to the mark," Sirius said. "So what's the matter? Is there trouble in paradise? I wouldn't worry about it too much; it's probably just her time of the month."

"I dare you to make that statement in front of Lily and see just how much of you is left afterwards," Remus said.

"I'm not stupid," Sirius said with a grin. "I might not have Prong's record with her, but I've been on the receiving end of that temper a time or two, myself."

"There's nothing wrong with me and Evans," James interjected. "I just have to figure out a way to lie to her."

"Whoa, back up, why are you lying to Lily?" Remus asked.

"Ever since Aubrey we've had patrols every night, but Friday's the full moon."

"So you're worried about Moony's time of the month, I was close," Sirius said with a grin as he dodged a book thrown at him by Remus.

* * *

James considered his options. Remus had told him he could skip the full moon, but James knew that wasn't really an option. If Remus couldn't get out, he was likely to rip himself to pieces, and Sirius alone was not enough to control a now fully grown werewolf. And so he would have to miss patrol. There were protocols in place for if the Head Boy or Girl was sick. They were supposed to arrange for one of the other seventh year Prefects to take their place. And so he was stewing over his options, trying to decide who he wanted to ask to be his replacement, even though in reality he knew there could only be one choice.

Of the Prefects, his first choice to protect Lily would always be Remus, but for rather obvious reasons Remus would be indisposed on the given night. His other options were MacMillan, Snape, Boot, Fawcett, Greengrass, and Meadowes.

Dorcas was out. She was still in St. Mungo's. The last update they had gotten from Aidan had been that she was responding well to treatment, but still tended to lapse into long periods of what the healers called "self-withdrawal" where she retreated into herself and seemed to see or hear nothing of what went on around her. James thought it seemed like a pretty reasonable response to what she had been through.

Alodia Greengrass was out by virtue of being a Slytherin, and just a downright bitch for that matter.

James briefly considered both Terris Boot and Marlowe Fawcett just for the amusement he'd get from the look on Lily's face when she found out. But then again he didn't really want her to kill him so he'd best remove them from the possibilities as well.

Which left the two people on the list who had actually kissed his girlfriend, and while he knew deep down that Snape would protect Lily from his fellow Death Eaters, he wasn't about to ask him. So, Aidan, as he knew all along, was who he would ask. And despite their shared history with Lily, he liked MacMillan. He had become a trusted ally through everything they had gone through, and James was pretty certain that he was now fairly enamored with Eavan Madley, the Hufflepuff sixth year prefect he had rescued during the attack, which made him even more likable in James' opinion now that he was no longer pining over Lily.

* * *

Friday morning dawned much like any other. James extracted himself from Lily's still sleeping form as quietly as he could. He had to take care of some things. He was attempting to fake sick on a girlfriend being trained as a mediwitch by Hogwart's matron required and that required more than just complaining of an ache. He made his way quietly into his bathroom. He performed a warming charm on his body, focusing on his temperature points, for a few seconds. It was important that he just seemed mildly flushed and fevered this morning, that way he could appear to get sicker as the day progressed.

He made his way back over to the bed and climbed back into bed wrapping his arm around Lily once more.

Lily sighed to herself as she woke up. She opened her eyes slowly, glancing at the clock, she still had fifteen minutes before it would sound. She had just decided she should lay there and just relax for those fifteen minutes when she noticed something. She was warmer than usual. Or rather, James, who was wrapped around her, was warmer than usual. She rolled over to examine him. He was still asleep. She extended her hand to feel his forehead. He definitely had a fever, even if it did feel like a slight one. His face was slightly flushed as well.

"Potter," she whispered into his ear. "Potter, wake up, I need to check your temperature."

"What's that love," he said, pretending to just wake up.

"You feel a little warm. I think you might have a bit of a fever. Do you feel alright?"

"For the most part, yeah, I feel okay. I just have a little bit of a headache."

"Do you think you'll be okay for classes today?"

"Yeah, we just have Herbology and Potions, so I should be fine. Besides we have patrol later tonight, so I have to be okay."

"Well, be sure you drink plenty of fluids today. I hope you're not coming down with whatever's wrong with Remus. He's been in the Hospital Wing for a couple days now."

"Oh, yeah, I didn't even think of that," James said. Chants of 'idiot' echoed in his head. He should have thought of something besides being sick as a reason to miss. He didn't want her linking this with Remus in her mind. "I'm sure it's nothing. Remus is just really sickly."

"Still, I don't want you taking any chances. If you're not feeling better later then you'll just miss patrol."

"I suppose I could ask Aidan to cover for me if I'm feeling bad," James said after a moment.

"I'm sure he wouldn't mind," Lily agreed.

* * *

James didn't want to ask Aidan in Herbology since he had just finished professing to Lily that he really didn't feel that bad. So he waited and found Aidan during the afternoon break before Potions.

"MacMillan," James addressed sliding into the seat across the table from the other boy.

"What's wrong?" Aidan asked pretending to gape in shock. "It must be some sort of an emergency to get a Marauder into the library."

"Something like that, yeah," James said with a grin.

"So what's up, Potter?"

"I was actually wondering if you could fill in for me on my patrol tonight. I feel like hell, like I'm coming down with something."

"Yeah, sure that's not a problem," Aidan said.

"Thanks, and um if you could just…" James paused unsure exactly to ask.

"I'll take care of her," Aidan supplied, understanding what the other boy was going to ask. After all he had once been in love with Lily Evans too.

"Thanks," James said with a nod.

* * *

"Thanks for doing this," Lily said as she met up with Aidan in the Entrance Hall at 9:00.

"I don't mind," Aidan said with a shrug, as they made their way down toward the dungeons to start the patrol in one of the most troubled areas.

"Sometimes I think we ought to just pitch a tent and stay put down here," Lily muttered as they descended the stairway.

"It's certainly where the most dangerous students are located," Aidan said with a nod.

"They make me sick," Lily said vehemently.

"How's Potter doing since Regal died? I know they were close."

"He doesn't really talk about it very much," Lily confided. "I think they're all worried about Pete because he doesn't talk about it at all, so they're trying to be strong for him, but I know James and Sirius both really miss her."

"It still doesn't really seem possible to me. I know it happened, but it just seems like it couldn't possibly be real."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Lily said. "I always thought Hogwarts was the one place we would always be safe. I hate that they took that away."

* * *

Lily yawned as she entered the Head's Common Room. She was exhausted. It had been a long week and this final patrol from nine until twelve had been the last straw. Still it had been nice catching up with Aidan. Despite everything that had happened, he was the happiest she'd seen him since the death of his brother Ernie, and that made her happy. She felt personally responsible for his unhappiness for some of the previous school year, so it was good to see him happy once more; and the spunk and energy provided by Eavan had certainly done that.

Lily paused on the stairs leading to her bedroom. She and James had agreed that while he was sick it was probably for the best if they didn't share a bed. But she still felt a pull toward him. She turned quietly and made her way across the common room, determined that she would check on him before going to bed herself. He should be sleeping soundly. The potion she had given him for his fever before she left that evening would have also knocked him out. She opened the door quietly and peered in at him. Everything was still in the room, and dark, so she turned to make her way back down the stairs. But as the full moon moved out from behind a cloud, the room was suddenly light enough for her to make out the form on the bed. It was not Potter. It was not anyone, just a cleverly arranged group of pillows and blankets to make it appear as if the occupant were in bed.

She turned sharply and stormed down the stairs, now completely awake. She paused at the bottom of the stairs, unsure of what her next move should be. Her first instinct was to find him, but she knew he probably had his invisibility cloak with him, which would make the task impossible. Besides that, despite the fact that she was Head Girl it was too dangerous to go wandering aimlessly around the castle at this time of night. Her second instinct, to go make absolutely sure that Daphne was in her bed in Gryffindor Tower, had the same safety concerns. And she didn't want to take of a chance of him slipping past her. She wanted to catch him. So, her only option was to wait for him to return. And so she plopped down onto the couch, alone with her thoughts.

And those thoughts were not pleasant. Where was he? Was he cheating on her? Had she been a fool to ever think that James Potter could commit to her? Was it her fault if he was cheating on her since she wasn't willing to have sex with him? Lily actually slapped herself upside the head when that one occurred to her. How could she be so stupid as to blame herself for his ineptitudes? Just because she wasn't ready to take that step in their relationship didn't give him a blank check to cheat. He had a hand after all; he could take care of himself.

On and on the thoughts played on repeat through her mind. Why had he lied to her? Where was he? As the hours drug on she couldn't help but even worry about his safety. Had he been attacked? She calmed herself with the reminder of the "fake James" up in the bed. Someone who was attacked didn't have time to create a dummy in their bed. Clearly he was attempting to avoid detection from her, not Death Eaters, a thought that cut her deeply.

She felt tears sting her eyes as they rolled down her cheeks several times throughout the night. Each time she cursed herself for ever trusting him, for ever believing that his feelings for her were different.

It was a little after five when she noticed the sun was beginning to rise. He had been gone all night. And she had sat up waiting for him all night. She could feel the deep circles forming under her eyes. Her plan for the day would be to murder James Potter when he finally returned and then go to bed and not emerge for a week.

* * *

James was exhausted and he felt like hell. He, Sirius, and Peter were making their way back, using one of their many secret passageways, into the still locked castle, with the aid of his invisibility cloak. It had been a busy night of wandering in the forest. But at one point Remus had caught scent of something and had made to give chase. James and Sirius together had contained him, but not without taking a few blows. Sirius was okay, for the most part. He had some nasty looking bruises from where he had rammed into Remus, but James who was the larger than Sirius had taken the brunt of Remus' attack. He had been swiped by Remus' claws across his front, leaving several deep gashes. And by the sharp pain when he breathed, he also suspected a broken rib. But it was all worth it. Remus was worth it.

He dropped the other two boys off at the entrance to Gryffindor Tower, to the displeasure of the Fat Lady who had to be awoken in order to admit Sirius and Peter, and then made his way to the Head's Common Room.

He sighed as he reached Bridget's frame, ready to crawl into his bed. He might just fake sick for the rest of today in order to get to sleep off tonight's exhaustion.

He saw her as soon as he entered the Common Room. She was sitting there, waiting for him, and still wearing the clothes she had had on the previous evening. Clearly she had discovered his lie. And he was screwed.

"Have fun?" She said rising from her place on the couch.

"Er—" he hesitated not in the least bit sure how to precede with this interrogation that he knew was coming. After all, there was more than just his neck on the line.

"Who is she?" Lily demanded.

"Who is who?" James asked. He was in too much pain for this conversation at the moment. He had no idea what she was talking about.

"Don't fuck with me, Potter," Lily demanded. "Who is the girl that you snuck off to see?"

"I didn't sneak off to see any girl," James said taking a step toward Lily. He winced as he his shirt brushed against the gashes on his chest. He tried to keep the spasm of pain from showing on his face, but he wasn't at all sure he had succeeded.

Lily watched him for a moment, her brow furrowing over her eyes.

"You're hurt," Lily said stepping closer to him.

"No," James said.

"Let me see," Lily demanded reaching for the hem of his shirt.

"It's nothing," James said taking a step back and wincing again.

"Damn it, Potter. You're clearly hurt, now let me see."

He sighed in defeat and then slowly lifted his shirt up over his head. Her gasp was enough to tell him how bad it was, how he was not going to be able to just brush her off on this.

"You have to go to the Hospital Wing," Lily said.

"NO," James said immediately. That was the one thing he absolutely could not do, the gashes were clearly made by a large animal. He couldn't take the chance that Madame Pomfrey would put the pieces together and figure out that he had been around Remus.

"Potter don't be an idiot, you're hurt badly."

"I can't go to the Hospital Wing," James said.

"I doubt Madame Pomfrey cares that you've been having a moonlit stroll in the Forbidden Forrest. I'm fairly certain she's used to the idiocy of the Marauders by now. Besides you can visit Remus." And then she stopped. She turned and looked out the window and saw the fading remnants of the full moon as the sun came up. Remus was sick again. There had been a full moon, and James had large wolfish gashes on his chest.

"No," she whispered backing up and sitting down on the couch. "It's not possible," Lily said shaking her head. Severus had always told her, insisted it was true, but for the first time Lily believed him. "Remus," Lily whispered more to herself than to James. He flinched with realization of what was dawning on her. He had no way of denying it. She was too smart for that. And with that twitch of recognition on James' face Lily knew. And she was furious.

"You fucking idiot! What the hell were you thinking? You could have been bitten? And never mind what that would have meant for you…Do you have any idea what they would have done to Remus if he'd bitten you? They would have killed him!"

"Lily calm down. It wasn't like that," James said.

"Oh really?" Lily said skeptically. "So how exactly did he manage to rip you to pieces if you weren't close enough to bite?"

There was no way around it, really. She wasn't going to let up, he knew her well enough to know that.

"Werewolves only bite humans," James began.

"Oh and you're suddenly half house elf or something," Lily said snidely.

"Okay if I was anything it'd be part Giant," James said with a grin.

"Really you're going to make that joke now," Lily said with a roll of her eyes. "What do you mean you weren't in danger because 'werewolves only bite humans,' are you suddenly able to change forms or something?" She said jokingly.

He didn't say anything at all. He just continued to look at her.

"Fucking Merlin and Morgana!" Lily exclaimed. "Seriously? An animagus? That's all different kinds of illegal, Potter? We're not talking just breaking school rules, those are laws that can get you locked up in Azkaban!"

"I know that," James said vehemently. "Don't think I don't know what's at stake. I've known all along."

Lily examined his wounds for a moment wearily.

"I'll go see what I've got in my kit upstairs that can treat these," Lily said gesturing to his injuries.

"Thank you," James said. Lily was gone for several moments but when she returned she was carrying several of the medical books Madame Pomfrey had allowed her to borrow, as well as all of her healing potions she had made thus far.

She had James sit on the couch and then warmed a small bowl of water and used a cloth to begin to clean his wounds.

"How long has this been going on?" Lily said, slightly calmer than before as she wiped the cloth over his chest.

"I first transformed the summer before fifth year," he answered honestly.

"Well, I've always said you were the best I've ever seen at Transfiguration. This just proves that," Lily said. "And Sirius and Peter?"

"What about them?" James asked.

"Please," Lily said with a sigh, "I know you lot well enough to know that this wouldn't just be between you and Remus. You're all involved."

James sighed heavily. There was no way around it, but it still felt like betrayal. After several long moments he nodded.

"I won't tell anyone," Lily vowed as she began to survey her potion's kit and examine what options she had to treat him.

"I know," he said.

"I don't have any dittany," she said quietly. "That's what I would usually feel safe using on open wounds like this," she explained.

"Just do what you can, it's better than nothing," James said, brushing her face with his hand tenderly.

"This salve will prevent any infection, but it might burn a little," Lily said as she scooped a fair amount of the mint green cream onto her hands and began to softly rub it into James' wounds. He winced slightly at the forewarned burn of the solution.

"Sorry," Lily said softly as she herself winced at his obvious discomfort.

"It's not that bad," James lied. "Besides I'm pretty sure I've had this fantasy before. Although, I'm usually injured by something a bit more heroic, like a dragon or something and your ministrations usually devolve into well…" James trailed off suggestively.

"A dragon, huh?" Lily said with a smile. She knew he was in more pain than he was letting on, that he was putting on a brave face for her benefit.

"Yeah, you know the whole knight in shining armour bit," James said with a slight shrug that only brought on another barely concealed wince of pain. He wasn't used to not being able to move.

"Well for what it's worth, I think learning how to be an animagus, which is probably the most difficult bit of magic there is, breaking about a hundred school rules and actual laws in the process, just so you can help your friend, is pretty heroic."

"Huh, well I didn't see that coming. Lily Evans thinking I'm a hero for breaking rules," James said in mock awe.

"I didn't say for breaking rules," Lily said earnestly. "I said for helping your friend."

"By breaking rules," James supplied with a grin.

"Oh, shut up," Lily said with a roll of her eyes. "Before I put the bandages on this, is there anything else that hurts?"

"I think I have at least one broken rib," James said.

Lily nodded and proceeded to gently prod his ribs one by one until she garnered a reaction. She pulled out her wand and took a deep breath. She had never actually healed ribs before, only a few broken fingers and once a broken toe of Alice's when she stubbed it on the bed post during their sixth year.

"Episkey," she said pressing her wand directly above the broken rib.

James gasped.

"Is it okay?" Lily asked frantically.

"Yeah it feels much better, just a little tender." James said.

"Good," Lily said, relief evident in her voice.

"You sound surprised, like you've never done that before," James said with a laugh. Lily just looked at him. "Shit! Seriously?" James asked, flabbergasted. "You've never done that before?'

"Not with ribs," Lily said evasively.

"Now you tell me," James said.

"Well it's either I fix it or you walk around with a broken rib," Lily said with a huff.

"I know," James said with a nod.

Lily began to gently apply the bandages to James' wounds, pressing them softly against his skin.

"What do you transform into?" she asked quietly.

"A stag," James answered with a grin.

"Like your patronus?" Lily questioned.

"Yeah," James nodded in affirmation. "With really big antlers," James said with a waggle of his eyebrows.

'Idiot," Lily snickered.

"I'm just saying," James said with a rogue grin.

"So that explains Moony and Prongs," Lily said with a thoughtful expression. "What about Padfoot and Wormtail?"

"Sirius is a dog," James said.

"No kidding," Lily said with a snort of laughter. "Any girl in Hogwarts could attest to that."

"Yeah, I always thought that was rather appropriate," James agreed with a smile. "And Peter is a rat," James continued.

"A rat," Lily said with surprise.

"He's very crafty," James said, "and it's come in handy. We wouldn't have found half the secret passages if it wasn't for Pete being able to get in the walls and explore."

Lily nodded. She felt like there was something she knew about this, something that wasn't occurring to her. She thought for a several long moments. A werewolf, a stag, a dog, and a rat, the foursome of animals ran through her mind. Wait? A stag and a dog? She remembered something about that.

"Is Sirius a big black dog?" Lily asked curiously.

"Yeah, why?" James asked equally intrigued.

"I saw you both once, but I obviously didn't know what I was seeing," Lily explained. "It was the night I had snuck into your room to ask you about teaching me to fly," she blushed as she remembered what had come out of that flying lesson. "I was looking out the window to see if I could see where the four of you were and then I saw a big dog and a stag, and I thought that it was a strange pairing, but when I looked back they were gone. I thought I must have imagined it."

"No we were there," James said with a nod, "Remus and Peter were too. Remus was under the invisibility cloak and Peter was on his shoulder."

Lily finished applying the bandaging to James' wounds. "I can give you something for the pain, if you want."

"No, I'm fine. I do want to ask you about something though," James said motioning for Lily to sit next to him on the couch.

"Okay," Lily said.

"Why did you think I would cheat on you?"

Lily sighed. She looked into James' eyes and her heart broke at the pain she saw reflected in them. "I'm so sorry," Lily said as tears spilled of her eyes. "I guess I have some insecurities about our relationship that I didn't realize."

"But why? Surely you know how I feel about you," James said earnestly.

Lily took a deep breath. She wasn't quite sure how to voice her concerns, but once she started, it all poured out.

"James, you've been with a lot of girls and have a lot more experience than I do. I mean all I've done is kiss Aidan a couple of times. And I'm terrified that I won't measure up to the other girls and that I won't be worth the wait. And tonight when I realized you'd lied to me, I just thought that maybe you'd gotten tired of waiting for me. I thought you must have decided that I wasn't worth it."

"Come here," James said, pulling her gently up on to his lap.

"You'll hurt yourself," Lily said, resisting slightly.

"I don't care," James said. "Lily," he began brushing away her tears softly. "I never felt one tenth of what I feel for you for any of those girls. With the exception of Daphne, there were no feelings involved ever really. And I'm not proud of that. I was only with those girls because I couldn't be with the girl I really wanted to be with. And so when the time comes that you're ready, and not a second before that, I know that it's going to be so much more than it ever was with any of those girls. Being with them isn't comparable to being with you, because you are incomparable. I never understood girls who talked about 'making love' because for me it was always just fucking, but with you I know that that's what it will be. Because I am in love with you Evans," James said with a smile.

"I love you too, Potter," Lily said pressing her lips to his in a kiss.

They continued to kiss until their eyes grew heavy having both been up all night. Together they made their way up to bed, instructing Bridget to not allow any interruptions unless in cases of emergencies. There in each other's arms they stayed for the rest of day.

* * *

A/N: I don't know why this chapter took me so long! I have been excitedly waiting to write this chapter since I started writing the story, but now that the time was here it was really hard. I just couldn't get it right. I know this chapter is really dialogue heavy (which is why I really like it) but I think that the conversation Lily and James have in this chapter is a really important turning point in their relationship. Okay now I've gotten several really good questions from readers who were either anonymous or guests and therefore I couldn't respond to answer their questions so I decided to answer them here. Besides if it's one thing I've learned as a teacher its if one person has a question 20 other people probably have the same question so I think I might start addressing some reader questions with each chapter so be sure and ask what's been on your mind in your review!

A question I get a lot is about Lily and James' use of each other's surnames and whether it's intentional. The short answer is yes it is very much intentional on my part. The long answer if you're interested is this: They've called each other Evans and Potter since they met. Originally from Lily's perspective it was usually while she was shouting at him, but that's what they always called each other. It's something they shared. He calls her Evans, she calls him Potter. So that by the time they start dating not only is it habit, but it's become a term of endearment (for James it always was). These two aren't overly gushy—it's just not who they are—so rather than calling each other 'sweetie' or 'honey' it's Evans and Potter. Although sometimes it still is used as a sign of exasperation as well but old habits die hard. Basically the answer is it's what they know each other as. When they call each other Lily and James like in the first chapter when he was apologizing for what happened with Snape, or when Lily was confessing her insecurities in this chapter, it's because something serious is happening, and usually it's not good. I hope that makes sense, if not feel free to ask about specific examples.

Another question I got recently that I found really interesting is what Voldemort looks like. This one is totally on me, I didn't realize I had never described him and I apologize. He has created most of his Horcruxes by this point and is now in the process of hiding them. He has the locket already but has yet to murder the tramp he will use to create that Horcrux (that's coming soon) and obviously hasn't yet used Kreacher to hide it thus leading to Regulus' death. He has already turned the cup into a horcrux but it is currently hidden somewhere else and has not yet found its way to Bellatrix's vault (also coming soon) and the same with the Diary. So he has progressed further then when he hid the Diadem in Hogwarts, but is not quite to the point of how he looks coming out of the cauldron. So in my mind his eyes are very bloodshot, almost to the point of being completely red. His nose is almost completely snake-like, and his hair and face are as they are in GoF. I hope that helps!

I've also been asked about the Potter house and its location in Godric's Hollow. I was planning on this fitting into the story but somehow it never did so here is the explanation. Godric's Hollow is very much your typical medieval town that has developed and modernized to some extent over the years. The house that James' parents live in (which is not the house Lily and James will die in) is removed from the town, up on a hill town (much like the Riddle House and Little Hangleton), and once belonged to the Lord who oversaw the. (Yes I'm a history teacher so yes I made up a history of the house so what I'm a nerd I know) This provides the Potters a little bit more privacy than otherwise possible. The house has been modernized using magic. There is a tall manor fence (stone wall) and trees surrounding the back yard which is why James and the boys are able to fly low to the ground in the back yard without being seen. The pool (which I imagine James demanded as a child) is only visible to magical guests because it would cause quite a stir among muggle visitors since it seems so out of place. To muggle friends of the Potters it just looks like the rest of the yard. And because GH is home to both magical and non-magical residents the Potters often play hosts to both.

Also, I have decided that this story will be divided into two volumes. Volume 1 will end when they leave Hogwarts (not that far away we are half way through 7th year now). Volume 2 will span from leaving Hogwarts to their deaths and a little after to wrap up the stories of Alice and Frank, and the rest in an epilogue like chapter.

Thanks for reading! Please R&R!


	57. Chapter 57

A/N: This chapter has a theme: People who aren't there. Enjoy!

* * *

"Oh look," Sirius said as he flipped through the pages of the _Daily Prophet_, "I'm getting a new cousin. I can't contain my excitement." He deadpanned. It was Sunday morning and they were all sitting in the Head's Common Room relaxing, enjoying their final day off of the weekend, or rather, all of them except for Remus who was still in the Hospital Wing recovering his strength from the full moon.

"Who's getting married?" Alice asked looking up from where she was lounging on Frank's lap, watching him work on the crossword puzzle.

"Bellatrix," Sirius answered.

"Ew," Peter said, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "Who'd marry her?"

"Rodolphus Lestrange," Sirius answered.

"Double ew," Alice said. "He's disgusting."

"And Bellatrix isn't?" Lily questioned, raising an eyebrow at her friend.

"Oh she's batshit crazy, there's no denying that," Alice said.

"When's the happy union taking place," James asked, sardonically.

"On Friday," Sirius answered. "It says most of magical high society is expected to be there. I'm absolutely devastated I wasn't invited."

* * *

Lily was worried about Remus. He had returned to classes on Monday, but he was avoiding her. James had told all the Marauders that she knew on Sunday, visiting Remus in the Hospital Wing to do so. James had told Lily that Remus had taken it well, that he seemed confident Lily would keep his secret, and seemed fine with the fact that she knew, but if that was the case why was he doing everything in his power to avoid her.

Monday morning he had not even looked at her during breakfast. At first she thought she was imagining it, but then when she asked him to pass her the milk so she could put some on her cereal, he hadn't even looked up from his breakfast, but had done so without ever making eye contact with her. In Herbology she had tried to engage him in a discussion about a spore they were examining on the Dittanous plant but Remus, never one to shy away from an academic discussion with Lily, had merely shrugged and still avoided eye contact with her.

She'd mentioned it to James Monday evening but he seemed to think she was imagining it, or if anything was off, that it would blow over. Lily had hoped that he was right. Remus was one of her closest friends and she didn't want things to be awkward with him.

Of course, she reasoned, it could have been worse. He could have taken the news like Sirius had. Every time Sirius saw her when it was just Lily and the Marauders present, he pretended to try and lick her face like a dog. So she supposed she should be glad Remus wasn't howling at her, but still she wished he would at least acknowledge her presence.

But the problem did not seem to be getting any better. He had continued to ignore her all day Tuesday, and all day Wednesday. By Thursday, Lily had had enough. That evening she had her patrol with Remus as the two 7th year Gryffindor Prefects, typically James tagged along since he and Lily were also supposed to patrol separately from the Prefects (a security measure meant for the Slytherin Prefects but instated for all of them). And Lily was determined she would get to the bottom of this by night's end.

"Can you skip patrol tonight?" Lily asked as she made her way down the stairs to the common room where James was sitting on the couch.

"Didn't I just get in trouble for that?" James asked turning to look at her.

"No, you got in trouble for lying to me about it," Lily said looking him squarely in the eye.

"So why do you want me to skip patrol? Planning on sneaking off with Remus on me?"

"Haha," Lily said rolling her eyes, "No, I plan on finding out why he's suddenly afraid to look at me."

"Evans," James said looking at her skeptically, "he's not afraid to look at you."

"Yes he is!" Lily said plopping down beside him. "He hasn't said a word to me in three days!"

"So you're going to corner him and what? Lock him in a closet until he talks to you?"

"If it comes down to that," Lily said dryly.

"As Remus' friend I think it's important that I not subject him to that," James said.

"I'm not going to kill him," Lily said, "I'm just going to find out why he won't talk to me!"

"You're not going to give me a choice on this are you," James said wearily.

"No, not really," Lily said.

* * *

Remus was dreading patrol tonight as it would just be Lily, James, and him. He had been doing his best to give Lily space since her learned that she knew what he was, he didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. He didn't want to force his presence on her. But he didn't really have a choice for tonight; they were both required to patrol together. At least James would be with them.

He sighed as he waited for them outside the Gryffindor Common Room. He was still tired, the full moon always took a while to recover from.

"Ready?" he heard Lily ask. He turned to look at her. She was alone, his eyes widened.

"Shouldn't we wait for James?" He questioned, shifting from side to side nervously.

"He's not coming," Lily answered.

"What?" Remus said, panicking slightly.

"I told him not too. I thought we needed a chance to talk," Lily said leading Remus away and down an empty corridor.

Remus was quiet for a minute. This was not good. If she had something she needed to say to him that she wasn't willing to say in front of James, she was taking it worse than he feared.

"Right, listen Lily; I want you to know that I understand. So long as you don't tell anyone, I don't expect anything else from you. I understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore."

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Lily interrupted.

Remus looked at her desperately. This was difficult enough for him to say, why was she acting like she didn't know what he was talking about. Finally huffing he blurted out, "I understand that you don't want to be friends with a monster!"

Everything was silent for a moment and then a resounding thwack echoed off the walls as Lily slapped Remus across the face.

"What the hell was that for?" Remus questioned. His whole face was stinging. He'd seen James get smacked by her once or twice before over the years and clearly James had not been kidding about the amount of force hidden in the hands of the barely five foot tall witch.

"Don't you ever call yourself a monster again, Remus Lupin! You are not a monster and I will not just stand by and let you degrade yourself like that. And of course I'm still going to be your friend! Nothing I found out changed how I felt about you and our friendship."

"So," Remus began, confusion still evident in his voice, "you still want to be my friend?"

"Of course I do!" Lily said vehemently. "The whole reason I made Potter stay behind was that I wanted to talk to you about why you were avoiding me. I was terrified that you hated me or something."

"I could never hate you, Lily. You're quite possibly the kindest person I know," Remus said genuinely.

"So we're okay, now?" Lily asked with a small smile.

"Yeah, we're okay," Remus said pulling her into a hug.

"Oh good, I can stop hiding behind this suit of armor like a creeper then?" James said, stepping out into the open.

"You said you were going to stay behind," Lily said turning to look at him with an eyebrow raised in question.

"No," James corrected, "you said I was going to stay behind, Evans. I couldn't just abandon Remus. The Marauders have a code to protect each other from angry women." He said clapping hands with Remus in greeting.

"I bet I can guess which one of you has had to use that rule most often," Lily said snidely.

"Sirius does have a way with the ladies," Remus said with a grin. "Although," he added a moment later, "I think we ought to amend that rule."

"For what?" James asked curiously.

"If it's one of the girls he's offered panties to, I want to hear a little bit of that exchange before we step in. I think we at least ought to let her get in a few good hexes."

"Yeah, it's probably justified in that case," James said nodding his head.

"It's justified in every case," Lily said with a roll of her eyes.

Everything once again restored to its rightful order, the three teens laughed and joked as the patrolled the halls.

* * *

Lily sat in the window seat of the Head's Common Room reading the assigned reading for Charms. Despite her interest in the material her mind was restless. Today was Andromeda's birthday. Lily had sent her a card, but she had not heard anything back. She had hoped that with time Andromeda would come to better terms with what had happened to her and would be willing to talk to Lily again, but so far that had not happened.

As she looked out the window over the grounds she was reminded of the day she first met Andromeda.

**FLASHBACK**

Lily sat by the lake looking out over the dark water. She missed home. Or rather she missed Petunia and the way things had been before. It was Friday and she had successfully completed her first week at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She loved it; she finally belonged. But her sister calling her a freak right before she left kept echoing in her mind. She had sent Petunia a letter as soon as she arrived at Hogwarts apologizing for having seen the letter she sent to Professor Dumbledore and expressing her hopes that things could go back to normal. But her sister had apparently refused to even reply. Her mother wrote her back saying simply that Petunia needed time to come to terms with the new changes. But Lily was worried, what if Petunia never came to terms with it? What if from now on she thought of Lily as a freak? She had tried to talk to Severus about it but he didn't understand. He hated Petunia and thought Lily was better off. She had also talked a little bit about it with her new friend Alice Fortescue, a bright and energetic girl who Lily was becoming fast friends with, and Alice had listened sympathetically, but she too couldn't really get it.

"Hey, are you okay?" Lily looked up, startled. She quickly wiped away the tears that had been falling.

"I'm fine," Lily said quietly. Standing in front of her was a much older girl, who judging by her uniform, was in Ravenclaw.

"I'm Andromeda Black. I'm in fifth year." Andromeda said sitting down across from Lily and smiling at her kindly. Clearly this little first year was upset about something.

"Any relation to Sirius?" Lily asked with a raised eyebrow.

"He's my cousin," Andromeda said with a grin.

"I'm sorry," Lily said sympathetically. It had only been a week but she knew one thing for certain: she loathed James Potter and Sirius Black.

Andromeda laughed out loud. "Yes, he's a bit of a handful, but I promise he's not that bad once you get to know him."

Lily regarded her skeptically for a moment and then said, "I'm Lily Evans."

"Well, Lily Evans, why don't you tell me what has you so upset? Maybe I could help."

"I doubt it," Lily said evasively.

"Can't hurt to try?" Andromeda persisted.

She had a point. So Lily explained all about how she was muggle-born and how now her sister thought she was a freak and wanted nothing to do with her.

"So any suggestions?" Lily asked skeptically after she finished.

"Well," Andromeda said, "I happen to have a lot of experience with sisters who think you're a freak."

"You do?" Lily asked eagerly.

"I do," Andromeda said with a sad smile. "I have two sisters. Bellatrix or Bella is a seventh year, and Narcissa or Cissy is a fifth year. They're both in Slytherin, like my entire family except for me and Sirius. It's worse for Sirius, being in Gryffindor is akin to being slime in my family. They weren't thrilled about my being in Ravenclaw, but it wasn't terrible. But I don't think like my sisters. I don't believe in blood purity and some of my best friends are muggle born or half-bloods. My sisters, particularly Bella, and the rest of my family don't understand that. I'm just biding my time until I turn 17 and I can get my own place, so believe me understand not being understood by your family."

"I just miss having my big sister; she's always been there for me before now." Andromeda's heart went out to the broken hearted little girl before her.

"Tell you what, Lily, why don't we become sisters. You miss your sister and I miss the idea of mine. I'll be your big sister and you can be my little sister."

Lily looked at the older girl, wide-eyed with shock at what she was offering. Just the fact that she had stopped to check on Lily indicated that Andromeda was a kind and caring person. Lily smiled and nodded before hugging her new "sister."

**END OF FLASHBACK**

Lily wiped away a tear at the memory. Andromeda had been good to her word. She checked in on Lily regularly even sending her owls so she could get post from her "sister." After she left Hogwarts she continued to write to Lily at least once a month. Lily had been in her wedding and had been Nymphadora's godmother. But now Andromeda hated her and it seemed Lily Evans had lost both her sisters.

* * *

Bellatrix knelt in her wedding gown before Lord Voldemort. They were alone in the her preparation room.

"Master I am honored by you coming to me today," Bellatrix whispered reverently.

"I have a special gift for you, Bella," Voldemort said. "But you are to tell no one about it, not even Rodolphus."

"Yes, master," Bellatrix breathed excitedly.

"After your wedding you are to come to me. I will present you with an item of great significance to me. I want you to place it in the Lestrange Vault where it will be protected. No one is ever to know about its existence. Do you understand?" He asked harshly.

"Yes, my lord," Bellatrix nodded solemnly. She kissed the hem of his robes and then he was gone leaving her feeling cold and empty.

Moments later there was a gentle tap on the door.

"Enter," she commanded haughtily.

Narcissa and Regulus came in, both dressed regally.

"You make a beautiful bride, sister," Narcissa said.

"Well nearly everyone of importance is here," Bellatrix said, her mind still on the one who wasn't, "so I should hope so."

"I'm glad you asked me to walk you down the aisle," Regulus said.

"Well who else would I have had do it?" Bellatrix sneered. "My father is in no condition and you're my oldest male cousin."

"Well not really," Regulus said quietly.

"Yes you are," Bellatrix said coldly, "Just as Narcissa is my only sister."

"Don't you ever miss them?" Regulus asked curiously.

"No," Bellatrix answered simply.

* * *

Regulus sat in his reserved seat watching the festivities unfurl before him. His parents had picked him up from Hogwarts yesterday for the wedding and he would return late tomorrow, but for now he was surrounded by family, with one major exception.

His cousin Narcissa slid into the seat next to him. She didn't say anything, but Regulus didn't really expect her too. Cissy and Bella were polar opposites in many ways. Bella had long dark hair, was loud, passionate, and on more than once occasion showed signs of slight insanity. Cissy had turned heads almost from the moment she was born with her beauty. She had long platinum locks, a face that glowed with vitality, but was always quiet and never seemed to be really interested in anything going on around her. She was however, very observant, and despite never deigning to become involved with anything around her, she saw it all.

"You miss him," she spoke quietly, glancing over at Regulus.

He wasn't entirely sure how to respond. He knew who she was referring to, but to admit to missing his older brother was akin to announcing his solidarity with him, which was NOT the case.

"I don't…" he began.

"It wasn't a question," Narcissa said simply.

Regulus merely nodded. They were both quiet for several moments.

"What about you?" Regulus asked, boldly, "I'm not the only one here who is short a sibling."

"Andromeda?" Narcissa questioned with little interest. "The last time the three of us were really together-together, it was before Bella went to Hogwarts. So I would have been about 7, Andromeda would have been 8, and Bella would have been 10. Considering that I'm 21 now that was a long time ago. I guess I've gotten used to her not being here by now."

"I see him all the time in school, but we never speak." Regulus said quietly.

"I imagine that's difficult," Narcissa reasoned. "It will get easier next year when you won't see him anymore." She offered in what she seemed to think was a kind, reassuring voice.

"And then I'll never see him again?"

"I can't say that, but Sirius made his choice a long time ago. He left this family. He made that decision. None of this is your fault."

"I know, I just wish he'd come back," Regulus said.

"He won't," she said.

"So you really don't miss her at all?"

"I don't really know her," Narcissa said. "I suppose I miss the idea of having a second sister, but the reality of Andromeda is a mystery to me. But…" she paused uncertain if she should say what she wanted.

"What?" he questioned.

"I might not miss her but I don't think I could have done what Bella did," Narcissa said, her serene face suddenly looking very troubled. "I mean she is still our sister."

"To be fair I think there's a lot of things Bella does that neither of us could ever do," Regulus said darkly.

Narcissa turned to him, her face lit by a smile, an oddity for someone who never seemed to respond to her surroundings. "I'm glad you got practice walking a bride down the aisle tonight," she said changing the subject with a disconcerting speed. "That way you'll be in top shape this summer when I marry Lucius."

* * *

James took a deep breath as he walked into the locker room. It was the first practice since Regal's death, and he had no idea where to even begin. Professor McGonagall was waiting for them out on the pitch as part of the new safety requirements, but she had already told James to take as much time as they needed, and if no actual practicing was done it was alright.

James looked at Sirius, who nodded reassuringly at him, and then he began.

"I wish I knew what to say," he said, "but I don't. There's absolutely nothing I can say that is going to make this easier on any of us. We all wish she was here, but we have to try and keep moving forward as best we can."

"Here, here," Sirius said, supportively.

"Are we holding open tryouts or do you have someone in mind," Augustus asked.

"No!" Hestia shouted, rising to her feet and glaring at Augustus.

"Hestia we have to hold tryouts to fill her position," James tried to reason.

"I said no!" Hestia said, turning her gaze on James.

"We all miss her, Hess," Dirk attempted.

'Well apparently not enough!" Hestia shouted. "We can't just replace her! We can't just let someone else come in here and take her place, wear her uniform, use her locker. We can't!" She screamed, now sobbing openly, before running into the girls' changing room and slamming the door behind her.

The room was silent. No one knew what to say. Daphne sat for another moment, seemingly deep in thought before rising to her feet as well.

"She's right," Daphne said. "Regal cannot be replaced. Find another way," she said looking directly at James, before following Hestia into the changing room.

"Well that went well," James said dejectedly as he sat down in front of his own locker, banging his head back against it.

"Maybe they'll come around," Dirk said hopefully.

"I'm sorry, have you met Daphne?" Sirius said sarcastically. "Ask James how easy it was to break things off with her? Disentangling himself from the giant squid would have been easier."

"Sirius, this is hardly the time for that," James said glancing at the door to make sure Daphne had not reappeared.

"I'm just making a point that the likelihood of them changing their minds is slim to none."

"So what we just forfeit the rest of them?" Augustus said a tone of disgust evident in his voice.

"What other choice do we have, if they won't let us replace her, without marching out themselves," Dirk said.

"The minute we forfeit games is the minute Regal fries all our asses with some bolts of lightning," Sirius said. "She wouldn't want that."

"Maybe there is another way," James said after a moment, "a third option."

"Like what?" Sirius said eagerly, he knew the look on James' face when he had an idea.

"In a normal quidditch match if a player gets hurt you can continue to play with six players, you don't have to forfeit until you're down to five, so who's to say we can't just start with six."

"Just play with two chasers?" Dirk questioned.

"Works for me," Sirius said with a grin, "James and Hestia can probably outscore everybody just the two of them."

"People would try and knock one more of us out," Daphne said. No one had noticed the door to the changing room open, but she and Hestia were now standing in the doorway, clearly having heard James' idea. "In order to try and force us to forfeit."

"Well then I guess it's a good thing we have the best Beaters in the school," Sirius said, his grin growing wider.

"We'll keep them off of you," Dirk assured them, while Augustus nodded his head vigorously.

"I think it's perfect," Hestia said. "And I'm sorry about what I said. I know we all miss her."

"We understand Sparky," James said with a grin. "We all knew you didn't mean it."

"Do you think they'll let us, James," Daphne asked.

"I'll talk to McGonagall about it right away," James said. "And if they don't, then we'll come up with something else, as a team. But whatever we decide we're going to do it as a team."

* * *

Lily sat anxiously waiting for James to return from quidditch practice. She knew tonight was going to be difficult for him, for all of them.

She jumped to her feet as the portrait hole slid open and James walked in. His practice uniform was completely clean, and his hair no more messy than usual. Clearly, whatever they had done, they had not practiced.

"How'd it go?" she asked concernedly. He attempted to put on a brave face, but a moment later it crumpled and tears streamed out of his eyes.

Lily wrapped him in her embrace and moved them back toward the couch. There she sat with him and whispered whatever small comforts she could into his ears, about her love for him, how Regal was a hero, and that Regal would want them to be happy, while she rubbed circles on his back and let him cry. Finally after about ten minutes James collected himself enough to speak.

"We're not going to replace her. We talked about it and none of us want that, Hestia was particularly upset, but she was right. We can't do it. So we're going to play with six."

"Will they let you do that?" Lily asked. She had never heard of anything similar being done, but she was the first to admit her quidditch knowledge was scant.

"I talked to McGonagall. She's going to take it up with Madame Hooch, but McGonagall seemed touched by the idea. She cried when I told her, so I'd like to see them try and stop her from letting us have our way, even if she has to go all the way to Dumbledore."

"I can't imagine the other teams would really have a problem with it," Lily said.

"No, we'll be an easy win for them now, being a player down. But I don't care. Even if we lose our next two games, we'll do it as a team."

"You're a good man, James Potter," Lily said with a small smile. "I know how badly you want to win the House Cup for your final year here at Hogwarts. I know how much it means to you, Sirius, and Daphne. But I think what you're doing is a really special thing to honor a really special girl. And I couldn't be more proud of you or love you anymore than I do right now."

"I love you too, Lily," James said earnestly. "And I don't know what I would have done these past few months without you here by my side."

"You don't have to wonder," Lily said, "I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

A/N: I know this is a shorter chapter and I considered adding some stuff from next chapter on to the end, but it didn't flow right. I'm hoping to have the next update up in 2-3 weeks (hey its shorter than my usual month to month in a half). I'm sorry it takes me so long but I really put a lot of thought and effort into each chapter and with my job and working on my masters too I just can't do a chapter a week although I really admire the people who can as a reader of fanfiction myself! Just to give you a little preview of what is to come in the next several chapters to whet your appetite:

It's almost Christmas time for our characters (I always seem to end up writing Christmas in the summer on this story) which means the Potter's annual New Year's Ball and all sorts of fun stuff, but Voldemort has something in store for Lily, James, Frank, and Alice as well, just to let them know he hasn't forgotten about them. And then their final semester at Hogwarts (& the end of volume 1).

Thank you again for your support! You amaze me, darling readers! And as always please review!


	58. Chapter 58

A/N: Okay so this took a lot longer than I thought and I apologize. Things got really crazy at work and I got really backed up on writing time. This chapter is RATED M. But guess what this time it's not for murder or torture but some smut (&language but that's always there)! Who's excited? I'm already working on the next chapter which goes with this one to a degree and it will be up by the end of the week (really!).

* * *

The news of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team's decision to finish their season with six players spread through Hogwarts like wildfire. Gryffindors received the news stoically. It was a shame not to be able to win the House Cup for the second year in a row, but what happened to Regal put everything in perspective.

The Ravenclaws seemed for the most part ambivalent about the news. It would certainly help them in their effort to win the House Cup, but they still had to get past Slytherin who would be more motivated than ever with Gryffindor out of their way.

The Slytherins were downright gleeful with the news. By breakfast Monday morning their taunts of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team had reached a pitch beyond the atmosphere prior to the Gryffindor vs. Slytherin match earlier in the season.

"Fucking prats," Lily huffed from where she sat across from James and Sirius. Two Slytherins had just walked behind them pretending to cry over Gryffindor's poor chances. Uncharacteristically, neither James nor Sirius rose to the bait. The team had discussed it the previous night, they knew they would get some pushback, but the plan was to keep their heads down and let it run its course.

"Aw, Evans, I didn't know you cared about Quidditch," Sirius said with a wolfish grin. He laughed louder as Lily quickly made a face at him.

"She's right though," Alice interjected. "Why do they even care? Considering Gryffindor already BEAT THEIR ASSES," she said loud enough for her voice to carry over to the Slytherin table, earning her several angry glares.

"That's why," James said. "We beat them so we're already ahead of them in the House Cup standings, but if we lose to both Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw it won't matter that we beat them."

"Well it's pathetic," Lily said continuing to glare at the Slytherin table.

* * *

After finishing their breakfast amidst continued catcalls and taunts, James and Sirius made their way out into the Entrance Hall. They both had a break first thing Monday mornings, and with the weather now much too cold for being out on the grounds, they planned on spending the morning in the Head's Common Room finishing their homework that was due later in the day. Usually Peter would have joined them, but he had not slept well the night before and had chosen to skip breakfast and sleep until it was time for Herbology later that morning.

They had just begun their ascent up the stairs when they heard a voice calling their names.

"Oi! Potter, Black, hold up."

"Why going to have another go at us?" Sirius snapped, having enough of keeping his head down, as he and James turned around. "Oh, sorry MacMillan, I thought you were a Slytherin."

"No worries," Aidan said with a shrug.

"What's up, MacMillan?" James asked, curiously. They had Herbology with Aidan, usually if he had something he wanted to tell the group he would have waited till later in the morning.

"I wanted to tell you that I really respect what you all are doing, not replacing Regal. And I just met with my team at breakfast. Barclay Smith isn't overly happy about my decision, but he'll just have to deal with it."

"Wait, what decision?" James asked confused. Sirius' eyebrows were also knitted together, clearly not understanding.

"When Gryffindor plays Hufflepuff in the New Year it's going to be an evenly matched game. I don't want us to benefit from Regal's death, that's not right. So when we play I'm going to only use two Chasers at a time. It'll be six on six."

James and Sirius both stood looking at Aidan MacMillan for several long moments. Both boys had the facial expression of someone hit with a strong Confundus Charm. After a moment both their eyes seemed to clear, their mouths closed, and they seemed to realize they still had not said anything.

"You're a good man, Aidan MacMillan," James said, extending his hand to shake Aidan's. "Thank you."

"He's right, mate," Sirius said, also extending his hand to shake MacMillan's. "Words can't express how much this means to us."

Aidan nodded at each of them in thanks for their words, blushing slightly at the praise, before saying he'd see them later in Herbology and going on his way.

"Damn," Sirius said looking at James.

"I know," James said, "I can't believe he's doing this for us."

"No, not that," Sirius said with a grin, "I was just thinking how dumb Lily was to dump an upstanding gent like that from the chump she's dating now."

"Fuck you," James said with a laugh as they made their way up the stairs.

* * *

Care of Magical Creatures finished up early that Monday morning, so Remus volunteered to stay behind and help Hagrid, who had assisted with the lesson, pack up the Shrake Aquariums.

"Thank yeh Remus, nice of yeh to do."

"It's not a problem, Hagrid."

"How are yeh and yer friends doin?" Hagrid asked. "I know Regal was a friend."

"We're managing," Remus said. "It's been especially hard on Peter, James, and Sirius. I'm just trying to be there for them."

"That's good, good," Hagrid replied, shaking his head in understanding.

Remus's first inclination was to brush off Hagrid's inquiries; after all it was not easy to talk about. But then he remembered that he and his friends had agreed to try and find out about which students had played a role in the absence of faculty members. As far as he knew no one had had any luck. But he now had the perfect opportunity.

"Were you there that day, Hagrid? It was so hard to keep track of everyone once the fighting began," Remus added in explanation.

"No, no I wussn there. Should've been, but nope. I've never missed a Hogsmede weekend, but of all the ones to miss it was the one when you bunch actually needed me."

"What made you skip? Were you sick?" Remus asked in what he hoped was a casual voice.

"No, I wussn sick. I…" Hagrid hesitated.

"Yes," Remus prompted.

"I met up with a classmate of yers," Hagrid began hesitantly. "A friend of mine, Walden, he had found a creature he thought I'd be interested in, so we wuz lookin at it."

"Oh, yeah Walden's great with creatures," Remus replied in a monotone. It had been right in front of them the whole time, and they had failed to see it in time. And he had one further suspicion he wanted to get verified. "You know, Hagrid, I don't think I've ever asked you what your favorite creature is?"

"A dragon," Hagrid said instantly. "I've always been fascinated by 'em."

Remus nodded with a grin plastered on his face, but inside he wasn't smiling. It all made sense now, but they were several months too late.

* * *

"So the dragon book that Snape gave to MacNair," Alice whispered the group stood huddled around their table waiting for Herbology to begin. Luckily, neither Snape nor MacNair had arrived to class yet.

"It was probably just to help him start a conversation with Hagrid," Remus nodded.

"Let him gain Hagrid's trust so that when the time came he could come up with some reason for Hagrid to meet him," Aidan added.

"Yeah, but wouldn't Hagrid think it was weird that MacNair wanted to meet during a Hogsmede weekend?" Lily asked.

"Oh Priss the Prefect," Sirius said shaking his head in disbelief.

"What?" Lily said turning to look at him.

"The creature was probably something smuggled and illegal, love," James explained. "That way they would have to look at it when there were less people around."

"And knowing Hagrid, it was probably something pretty dangerous if it piqued his interest." Frank added as an aside.

"Yeah," Peter said with a slight snicker, "I can't see a guy whose favorite animal is a dragon being persuaded to come look at something fluffy and cuddly."

"So there's no doubt MacNair is working with them then," Aidan said.

"So that's one down, only who knows how many more to go," Sirius said.

"It's one more than we knew this morning," Alice added.

* * *

"Hey, Potter, Black!" Averick Mulciber called out to James and Sirius as they left the Green House. James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily, Alice, Frank, and Aidan were all making their way back to school to get lunch in the Great Hall. They were being trailed several feet behind them by the three Slytherins in the class: Snape, Irving Wilkes, and Mulciber. "Going off to have another cry about your dead teammate? I guess it's a good thing she's dead now Gryffindor will have an excuse when you lose the Cup. I wouldn't be surprised if…"

They never heard what would have failed to surprise him. While James and Sirius had continued to walk, ignoring the jibes, Peter had not. Completely red in the face he had turned and charged Mulciber. He didn't even bother with his wand.

"Shut up you bastard, shut up!" Peter screamed as he repeatedly punched the much bigger Mulciber who had been toppled to the ground in shock as Peter collided with him. "How dare you even speak about her!" Peter roared.

Mulciber couldn't reach his wand in his robes, so he made due punching right back at Peter as they rolled around on the ground. "Oh that's right, Pettigrew, I forgot she was the only girl desperate enough to suck you off." Mulciber taunted.

Snape and Wilkes had both drawn their wands, pointing them at Peter. The only thing stopping them from cursing him was because it was impossible to hit one without risk of hitting the other. Sirius had his wand drawn directly pointed at Snape, glowering menacingly at him. After a moment Alice did the same, pointing her wand at Wilkes. She didn't condone fighting in general but the Slytherins had already pissed her off to no end this morning so she was willing to make an exception.

James and Remus finally managed to pull the two boys apart, James shoving MacNair into Snape raising his wand and saying in deadly quiet, but incredibly dangerous voice, "Get him the hell out of here, NOW."

Snape, Mulciber, and Wilkes all glared at James for another moment, before Snape seemed to recognize his group of friends didn't need any more attention from Dumbledore and pulled the other two off with him.

"Let go of me," Peter said angrily, struggling against Remus.

"Why so you can get yourself killed?" Remus asked continuing to hold him steady.

"I want to kill that bastard!" Peter yelled, thrashing in Remus' grip.

"More likely he'd kill you," Lily said, stepping forward to attempt to assess the damage done to Peter. "Mulciber has always given me the creeps. Now, hold still and let me look at you," she leveled him with a glare that even Peter in his emotional state could not ignore. "You'll need to come up to our Common Room, so I can fix you up."

"So if we get hurt breaking rules now will you mend us so we don't have to go to Pomfrey?" Sirius asked curiously.

The look Lily gave him shut him up for the rest of trip back to the Common Room. Frank, Alice, and Aidan went on to lunch, figuring correctly that Peter wouldn't want people hovering around him. However, there was no chance of his three best friends leaving him be.

* * *

The door to the 7th year boys' dormitory slammed for the second time as Sirius, James and Remus followed their angry friend.

Peter had been silent, clearly seething with anger, while Lily tended to his injuries. After she had erased his bruises and mended a splintered rib he had bid her a curt "thank you" before turning on his heel and storming back to his dormitory with his three best friends hot on his trail.

"WHAT?" He demanded as he spun around to face them.

While Remus and James might have favored a more tactful approach given the already fragile and now apparently volatile mood of Peter, but Sirius was never one to care about tact or beating around the bush.

"What the hell, Wormtail?" Sirius demanded. "You could have been pulverized!"

"I DON'T CARE!" Peter screamed. "I DON'T CARE THAT HE'S FOUR TIMES MY SIZE, OR THAT HE'S A TWISTED AND MALICIOUS PIECE OF SCUM! NONE OF THAT MATTERS! IT'S BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE HIM THAT SHE'S DEAD!"

"Pete, I understand that you're angry," James began but was cut off by Peter.

"You DON'T understand! LILY IS STILL ALIVE! YOU DIDN'T LOSE HER!"

"We miss Regal too," Sirius said.

"Yeah, you both miss her," Peter said. "You both miss her as a friend or even as a little sister but she wasn't your…" He wanted to say that she was his future. But how could he possibly explain that to his three best friends who still had futures full of possibilities for happiness ahead of them, when all he could see in his was loneliness. Regal had been his chance, and now she was gone. Guys like him didn't get another one. So instead he just let the statement hang there, unfinished.

"We're just worried about you, mate," James said.

"All three of us would have gladly fought off those other Slytherins if you'd needed us too. Although Prongs and I may have had to flip a coin to see who got the honors of beating the slime out of Snively. But that doesn't change the fact that attacking that asshole is something I would do, not you Pete," Sirius added.

"We've tried to give you space, we didn't want to push you to talk before you were ready, but maybe we should have if you have all this anger inside of you," Remus said.

"I don't have anything to say," Peter said. His friends looked like they were going to begin their push again so he added, "I know you guys are trying to help, but I need to work through this on my own. I'm glad to know I can count on you guys, and hopefully soon I'll want to talk about it, but not now."

Sirius looked ready to argue, but James cut him off.

"We'll be there anytime you want to talk to us Pete." Peter nodded in acceptance.

"Come on, let's go get lunch I'm starving," Peter said heading back toward the door.

"I guess so," Sirius said, resuming his usual joking demeanor, "kicking Slytherin ass can work up an appetite. Nice upper cut, by the way," he added.

Remus rolled his eyes as he and James followed them out the door and down the stairs.

* * *

Lily observed James over the top of her book. He had been quiet the rest of the day, barely talking at all. She pursed her lips in concern. Finally she slammed her book shut, causing him to look up from his place on the other side of the couch where he was reworking quidditch plays for two chasers instead of one.

"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you or am I going to have to drag it out of you?" Lily said.

James shrugged his shoulders.

"Fine, I'll guess then, shall I?" She said sliding down to sit beside him on the couch. "I thought you were going to talk to him when you lot stormed after him?"

"We did," James said.

"Well then why are you still so worried?"

"He's just so angry, Evans. I've never seen him like that. I would expect this from Sirius, but not Peter. I don't know how to handle it coming from Peter."

"Anger is a normal part of the grieving process," Lily said. "And while I know this isn't what you want to hear, I think you have to let him grieve at his own pace. Peter has a lot to be angry about James, and it's going to take him time to work through all that."

"I know, I just wish he wouldn't shut us out," James said shaking his head.

"Peter knows you guys are there for him, he'll come to you when he's ready," Lily said.

James nodded. They were both quiet for several long moments.

Lily gasped as James pulled her up on his lap, facing him, her legs straddling him. "You're wonderful, you know that?" James said pressing his forehead against hers.

"Hmm? Wonderful huh?" Lily said, brushing her thumb softly on his jawline, where stubble was beginning to grow back from this morning's shave.

"Absolutely wonderful," James said sincerely before pulling her lips to his.

They continued to kiss, their tongues probing the other's mouth as their hands wandered. One of James' hands was buried deep in Lily's hair, keeping her mouth glued to his, while his other hand was busy running over Lily's stomach, before finally brushing against the underside of her breast. Lily's hands were both roaming over James' chest, under his shirt.

But she'd had just about enough of that. She knew he was letting her set the pace, and wouldn't do anything without her go ahead. Well she was about accelerate the pace, and even though she knew she wasn't strictly thinking with her brain, and the throb between her legs every time he kissed her was probably a big factor in her decision, she didn't care anymore.

She pulled back from him for a brief moment. James raised his eyebrow in question. But Lily just smiled back. She took a deep breath, she was terrified now that she had stopped for a moment, but she wasn't about to back down now. She quickly began to unbutton her school blouse looking up to see James' reaction. If the moment hadn't been quite so tense she would have laughed out loud at the look on his face. He looked as if she had just confunded him, his mouth agape. But his eyes were not glassed over like a confundus victim, they were dark with lust and glued to where her hands were making steady work of the buttons. The look in his eyes shook her to her core and gave her the courage to continue.

When she finished removing her top she began her work on his school shirt. By this point she hated whoever had invented buttons. James continued to sit, mouth agape, his hands gripping tightly around her waist. He sat up slightly as she pushed his shirt down his arms, before seemingly coming back to life to throw the offending garment away from him.

She snickered slightly at that, earning her the appearance of her favorite cheeky grin.

"You're so beautiful," James said looking her in the eyes.

"I think that's the fact that I'm half naked on your lap talking, Potter," Lily said with a smile.

"No, you're always beautiful," James said, and then allowing his eyes to drift slowly down the rest of her body, "although this is quite possibly the sexiest thing I've ever seen."

"Oh, really," Lily said raising her eyebrow, "then what about now?" She said reaching around behind her to unclasp her bra, tossing it to the side.

"Bloody hell," James said before latching his mouth onto one of her breasts. Lily gasped at the feeling. It was incredible.

She shifted to be even closer to him, but that movement brought on a barrage of new feelings as she brushed against his now fully hard erection.

Lily moaned at the friction and contact, as she felt his heat so close to her own. The only thing separating them was her thin cotton underwear and his pants. Her skirt had now ridden up to dangerous levels, but she didn't care anymore.

"Fuck," James whimpered as he bucked against her.

Everything else was forgotten as they rocked against each other.

Lily had never felt anything like what she was currently experiencing. She felt like she was nearing a cliff, but she wasn't scared, she wanted to go over the edge. And she did.

"James," she cried out as her back arched.

He came moments later crying out her name as well.

They were quiet for several moments, each of them catching their breath.

"Best pep talk ever, Evans," James said a few minutes later grinning from ear to ear.

Lily laughed out loud.

"I love you," James said kissing her sweetly. "And thank you for trusting me enough for this."

"I love you too," Lily said.

* * *

The following afternoon Lily and Alice were both sitting cross-legged on Lily's bed, their notes and books spread out around them, attempting to study for their midterm exams that would begin the following Monday, the final week before break.

"Okay, spill it," Alice said as Lily flipped through her Charm notes attempting to determine what questions Professor Flitwick might ask.

"What?" Lily asked innocently, although she should have known Alice would see right through her. She had intended to wait and tell her best friend _after _they had finished studying, but apparently Alice had detected something and was not willing to wait.

"You're smiling like the bleeding Cheshire Cat, so what did you and James Potter get up to last night?"

The grin spread even wider across Lily's face and her complexion colored the same shade as her hair.

Alice's eyes grew wide.

"Did you have sex?" Alice asked incredulously. Unless it had been really a heat of the moment type thing, Alice felt sure Lily would have talked to her about it prior to making the decision.

"No," Lily said, "Well, over our clothes," Lily said, turning red again. Somehow saying it out loud suddenly seemed a lot more difficult than doing it.

"And?" Alice asked eagerly.

"And what? That's all we did."

"Did you…" Alice asked.

"Yes," Lily said, smiling.

"I didn't really think that was in doubt, I mean surely to Merlin, Potter knows what he's doing in that area, but I had to check."

"You're ridiculous," Lily said shaking her head in amusement.

"Just looking out for my best friend," Alice said.

"And your own nosy satisfaction," Lily added on.

"That too," Alice said snickering.

"I think I might be ready for more," Lily said quietly. James was at Quidditch Practice but her voice was barely above a whisper.

Alice nodded her head, waiting for Lily to continue.

"Aren't you going to tell me I'm not," Lily said looking at her best friend.

"No," Alice said, "that's a decision only you can make."

"But James and I have only been dating for two months, since early October."

"Lily, you and James have only been officially dating for two months. You've been involved emotionally with each other for years."

"I've felt like I was ready since Hogsmede, I almost jumped him when we got back to the Common Room that night, but I thought I was too emotional to make a decision then. But the fear of losing him that day, I knew then that he was the one for forever."

Alice nodded. She and Frank had begun to sleep together again following the attack on Hogsmede, something Lily was well aware of.

"But I'm still nervous," Lily said, picking on an non-existent piece of fuzz on her bedspread.

"That's to be expected," Alice said.

"How do I bring it up?" Lily asked.

Alice looked at her for a moment before bursting out laughing.

"He's a seventeen year old boy, sweetie; I don't see that being a problem. Bringing it down is usually the problem they face."

"HA HA," Lily said laughing slightly despite herself. "You know very well that was not what I meant."

"I know it was just really funny and you walked right into it," Alice said.

"Do I tell him in advance? Or do I just spring it on him? I don't want it to be awkward leading up to it. I think added anticipation is just going to make me more nervous."

"When are you thinking this is going to happen?" Alice asked.

"I was thinking when we got back from Christmas," Lily said.

"I would tell him you're ready when you get back and then just see what happens."

"Does it hurt?" Lily asked, nervously.

"Yes," Alice answered. "What?" She said at the look she was getting from Lily. "I'm not going to lie to you. You'll be sore for the next couple days, but it's not going to kill you. And James knows what he's doing, I'm sure he'll do his best to make it hurt as little as possible."

"But that worries me too," Lily said. "I hate that he knows what he's doing and I have no idea."

"I know you worry about measuring up, but James loves you and he's never had feelings for those other girls. He may have liked Daphne but he didn't love her. With you it's going to be different. And as for him knowing what he's doing, trust me I'm sure that makes it better. Frank and I had no idea what we were doing, and it took a while for us to finally figure it out. That first time we were both bumbling fools just trying to get the mechanics right."

"How much is there to really figure out?" Lily asked, suddenly more nervous. "I mean part A goes into the Point B."

"Exactly!" Alice said laughing, "But it seemed a lot more complicated than that when the time came."

"Good to know," Lily said.

"You'll be fine," Alice said. "And afterwards we'll talk about and it'll be a great Lily/Alice bonding experience."

"I thought it was supposed to be a great Lily/James bonding experience?" Lily asked with a laugh.

Alice waved her hand dismissively, "Well, who really cares about that anyway," she said with a laugh.

* * *

A/N: I love writing Lily and Alice girl talk conversations and I hope you enjoy reading them. Girls have these conversations with their best friend even when it's slightly awkward. Happy birthday to my BFF!


	59. Chapter 59

A/N: YES! I did it! Two updates in one week! Be proud! I dedicate this to all the amazing young women I went to high school with. This weekend we had our five year reunion (I can't believe it's been that long!) So much of who I am is reflected in the characters in this story (especially in Lily as I've said before). I owe so much of who I am to those girls so without them this story would be wholly different. On a different but related note, I began writing this story when I graduated high school. So In a sense, this story is also celebrating its 5 year birthday (Yes I recognize how sad that is in terms of my writing speed). So I also dedicate this to all my readers, whether you started with me FIVE years ago, or are a newcomer I really appreciate your kind words and encouragement. Thank you for reading in the past and thank you for continuing to read; and as always, all reviews are appreciated. Thanks!

* * *

Madam Pince glared at the table of four boys sitting in her library. They seemed to be studying, but she didn't buy it. They never studied. How one of them was a Prefect and another one was Head Boy was beyond her understanding. They were up to something, they had to be. And so she watched them like a hawk.

"Unbelievable," Sirius said under his breath. "We are sitting here looking at these boring books just like we're supposed to, and she hasn't even risked winking since we got here."

"It's almost as if she doesn't trust us," Peter said with a snicker, rolling his eyes.

"I wonder why," Remus said. "This is why I don't like bringing you lot with me when I come in here. She doesn't bother when it's just me."

"It's almost as if he's embarrassed by us," Sirius said.

"Me? Never," Remus said sarcastically.

"I don't know what she has against us, it's not like we've ever done a prank in here, or that we even come in here that often," Peter said.

"Maybe she feels neglected?" Sirius asked.

"Nah," James said shaking his head, "it's because of Filch."

"Not this again," Remus said shaking his head, "we have no evidence of anything between Filch and Pince."

"Then why does he go to the library so much when he's patrolling. It's hardly a hotbed of bad behavior. As Wormtail pointed out, we're hardly ever here."

"He has a point, Moony," Sirius injected, "Filchy hardly seems like the reading type."

"Maybe there just friends," Remus said.

"Either way, I'm sure he vents to her about us," James said.

"Yeah, Merlin knows he has to be tired of venting about us to Dumbledore and McGonagall and nothing happening," Peter said.

"Well if I had to listen to him wheeze about us and have that cat in in the library I guess I'd hate us too," Remus said with a nod of his head.

"Exactly," Sirius said.

* * *

Lily sat staring at the list they had compiled, attempting to make it make sense. After Remus had discovered MacNair's role in keeping Hagrid out of Hogsmede, they had decided that in order to put everything together they needed to keep track of what they knew. And so they had meticulously compiled a list of all of the teachers of Hogwarts and began to try and work out what had happened with each of them. It wasn't something they could just go up and ask, Dumbledore didn't want the Slytherins (or their accomplices as apparently the Death Eaters were not confined to one house alone) to get any hint of an investigation. So it was a slow process. So far the filled in pieces of information read:

Hagrid: Convinced to stay behind by Walden MacNair.

Slughorn: Working on Potions License Project with Severus Snape.

Hooch: First Year/ Second Year Extra Flying Practice- Seems to be unrelated.

Dearborn: Hiking in the mountains- Unrelated.

Flitwick: Ill in the hospital wing.

"I have something that I think might be important," Aidan said from where he sat next to the fireplace.

"About who?" Lily questioned flipping through her list.

"Possibly Flitwick and maybe Kettleburn as well," Aidan answered.

"I thought we knew Flitwick was sick in the Hospital Wing?" Alice questioned, looking over Lily's shoulder to inspect the list.

"Yeah wasn't there a whole bunch of people who got sick?" Peter asked.

"Yeah, and I don't think that was an accident," Aidan said.

"Poison?" James questioned, "Surely that would show up on tests Pomfrey ran." He looked to Lily for confirmation.

"It would depend on the type of poison they used. Some potions metabolize so quickly it wouldn't necessarily register on a test."

"What makes you so sure?" Frank asked.

"I learned something new, from a source I never thought of asking," Aidan said.

"Who?" Sirius asked eagerly, leaning forward in his enthusiasm.

"I didn't tell her what was going on so nobody freak out," Aidan said, "but Eavan and I were talking about when she was in the hospital wing after the attack and some stuff she said made me curious, so I asked her some more specific questions."

"If you trust her that's good enough for me," James said. He had a newfound respect for MacMillan after his decision to only use six players against Gryffindor. Aidan had taken a lot of flak from some within his own house. Barrymore Smith, the younger brother of sixth year Prefect Barclay, who was a fourth year Chaser on the Hufflepuff team, had been particularly vocal in his disgust with the decision.

"Thanks, but I still haven't told her anything. I don't want her in any added danger. But anyway what she told me was that Madame Pomfrey seemed puzzled by what had caused the sickness. Mainly because the group of people affected was so random she couldn't figure out how it was spread between them. And it never spread to anyone else. Eavan and the other people injured in the attack, never came down with a single symptom, even though their immune systems should have been weakened by their having open wounds, and exhaustion."

"So it wasn't a communicable illness," Lily reasoned.

"No," Aidan said nodding in agreement, "but then where'd it come from?"

"Did Pomfrey ever narrow anything down?" Sirius asked.

"Yep, she isolated the source of the sickness," Aidan said.

"What was it?" Alice asked.

"Some candy from Kennice Selwyn that apparently wasn't stored correctly and went bad," Aidan said.

"Food poisoning? Did she ever check the rest of the candy for actual poison?" Lily asked.

"She couldn't. Kennice had given it all out; apparently she was in a sharing mood."

"I bet she was," Alice said venomously.

"Why didn't any suspicion fall on Kennice," Remus questioned.

"She was sick too," Aidan supplied.

"She poisoned herself to avoid suspicion," James voiced what they were all thinking.

"Yeah and apparently randomly distributed the candy in order to hide the fact that the main target was Flitwick," Frank said. "It's quite clever."

"I suppose they had to vary their tactics, couldn't use the same one on everyone." Remus added.

"Mr. Potter, Miss Evans," Bridget's voice sounded from her portrait. Lily and James both looked up immediately; they had come to dread the sound of her voice. Nothing good ever seemed to come from her announcements. "Mr. Dirk Cresswell is here to see you."

Lily and James' eyes met. Dirk wasn't on patrol tonight. So what could be wrong?

"Send him right in," James said. Lily noted that Remus and Aidan had both slipped into Prefect mode as well and were sitting up straight, clearly tense.

Dirk came in through the passageway, and stopped at the look on all their faces.

"Well this looks like I just interrupted the most somber get together ever," he said quirking his eyebrow.

They all visibly relaxed. "We thought something might've happened," Lily explained.

"Something did," Dirk said, before turning to motion behind him.

"Cue the dramatic entrance music," Harper Robins said smiling as she made her way out into the common room.

There was a beat of dead silence as everyone took in her appearance. The last time all of them had been together, the last time they had seen Harper she was being loaded onto a stretcher bound for St. Mungo's with burns covering at least half of her body. And then it was like the flood walls burst. They rose as one to embrace her gently, as they were still unsure of the sixth year Gryffindor's injuries. Scars were still readily apparent starting on one side of her face and continuing down her neck and assumedly continued under her shirt. Lily and Alice were both brushing tears away from their faces.

James disappeared for a moment, returning with a bottle of elf-made brandy and nine glasses hovering in front of him. Lily raised an eyebrow at that. Apparently the Marauders had decided the safest place to stash their smuggled alcohol was in the Head's compartments. Because who would ever think to look there? The Head Boy was supposed to be trustworthy. She rolled her eyes… well at least they usually were.

"How are you?" Lily asked gently, as they all sat down.

"I'm doing better," Harper said. "But it's taken a lot of time."

"What happened after you left us?" Alice asked.

"I was transported to St. Mungo's," Harper said. "By the time I got there I had gone into shock from the pain. Apparently, the adrenaline from the battle had kept me on my feet, and from really fully feeling the pain, but it wore off pretty quickly after we were safe. They had to keep me pretty sedated on pain potions for the first couple days. The burns covered over 50% of my body. My healer made no secret of the fact that if I was a Muggle and only had access to Muggle Care, I wouldn't have made it. They had to slowly rehydrate my skin that bad been burned. I had to go through tons of physical therapy once I was able to move again. I have to apply about three different poultices to my scars every day, but they'll never go completely away," she said attempting to sound indifferent.

"How are the others?" Aidan asked, both because he really wanted to know about Dorcas and because none of them really knew what to say to Harper about her scars.

"Dorcas is doing better for the most part. She'll be back after Christmas," Harper answered.

"You said for the most part," Sirius questioned. He had witnessed the transformation that Andromeda had undergone following her subjection to torture, and he worried he had not gotten to Dorcas in time.

"Physically she's better now. For months after she had trouble controlling her muscle movements; they would spasm out of her control. But that's finally subsided. Frank's mum says the emotional and psychological scars are harder to heal. But she's making huge strides with that too. She just has these fits where it's like she's unaware for minutes at a time and then when she comes to she's not aware she's missed anything. They were happening multiple times an hour, but over the last few weeks they've managed to reduce them to maybe three or four a day. We ate lunch together in the cafeteria the last couple weeks once we were both well enough to make it in there. Her spirits are high and she's excited to get back. In fact, she's hoping they'll let her out in time to make it to your parents' ball," she said nodding toward James.

"And Jackson?" Peter asked quietly. Jackson's survival, for Peter, ran deeper than any considerations for the boy. Regal died to make sure he lived. If he died it would be like a final insult to her memory.

"Until a couple weeks ago I wouldn't have had that much to tell you," Harper began, "but slowly but surely I think he's getting better Peter. All of his organs are functioning on their own now, and he's managing between three and five hours of consciousness a day. During that time they are working with him on some basic physical therapy to begin re-teaching his body how to move."

"Why not more hours of consciousness?" Remus asked.

"He exhausts himself and the pain gets to too much which causes to much strain on his heart. They are slowly building up his strength and gradually adding more time to his hours of alertness."

"How are his spirits?" Aidan asked.

"The few times they let me and Dorcas in to see him he seemed to be pretty well. He's grateful to be alive, he knows how close he was to dying. But he doesn't," she hesitated, unsure how to address the issue with Peter in the room, "he doesn't know that Regal died."

"What do you mean he doesn't know?" Peter asked angrily. "She died saving him! And they haven't even bothered to tell him yet?"

"Pete," James began, concerned with what seemed to be Peter's second angry outburst in as many days.

"They are going to tell him Peter," Harper said calmly. "They just don't want to tell him until he's well enough and strong enough to handle it. He's still incredibly fragile right now, anything could set him back. But he already knows that she saved his life, he just doesn't know she gave hers to do it."

Peter was quiet for a moment and then nodded his acceptance and understanding.

"How are things in the real world since the attack?" Frank asked. "Have you gotten any sense of things? The Prophet keeps painting such a rosy picture."

"People are scared." Harper said bluntly. "Hogwarts and Hogsmede were assumed to be safe. I mean everyone had always accepted that You-Know-Who was afraid of Dumbledore, but now people aren't so sure."

"He fled as soon as Dumbledore arrived," James said.

"Yes, but if he's afraid as everyone thought then why even risk coming this close to Dumbledore? It's got people everywhere on edge."

"How so?" Lily asked.

"People tried to hide things from me, but I got good at hearing things when no one thought I was listening. A lot of people are starting to whisper. They are scared that maybe You-Know-Who has a good reason for not being afraid anymore."

"Like a secret weapon or something?" Sirius asked, intrigued.

"Of sorts," Harper said. "Look, I don't know how much of this I would put stock in, but you asked so I'll tell you. People are starting to whisper that maybe he's not afraid because he can't be killed."

The silence that filled the room was suffocating. Finally, Sirius spoke up.

"People are scared, like you said. They'll believe anything, no matter how ridiculous," he said. They all nodded their heads eagerly, but the relief reached none of their eyes.

Shortly after this pronouncement the group began to break apart. Aidan bid them all goodbye, as he was due to begin his patrol with Eavan and Barclay, as he was on his own without Dorcas. Harper and Dirk got up to leave shortly after, as Harper wanted to turn in early before her first day back of classes. Even though she wouldn't be taking exams, and would only be turning in her alternative assignments the teachers had sent to her at the hospital, the prospect of being up on her feet most the day was a daunting one. Peter decided to walk back to the common room with them; wanting to hear anything else Harper might know about Jackson's condition and prognosis. That left Lily, James, Sirius, Remus, Frank, and Alice alone in the Head's Common Room.

"So is anyone going to say anything about what we're all thinking about," Remus asked.

"It's not possible," Sirius said. "It can't be possible."

"Sirius is right," Frank supplied. "People are scared and when they're scared they'll believe anything. I wouldn't be surprised if it was Voldemort himself that started all this talk, just to increase the fear people feel."

"Yeah, I didn't even think about that," Sirius said nodding his head eagerly. "He just wants people to feel even more hopeless."

"James?" Remus prodded.

James took a deep breath, he sounded as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

"He's a mortal man," James said. "All men can die. I just can't see how it's possible."

"But is he?" Alice asked.

"Is he what, Alice?" Frank asked.

"A mortal man? You three saw him the same as I did that day. He didn't look like any mortal man I've ever seen?"

"But still, I mean how is it possible, Alice?" Frank asked.

"We don't know that it's impossible," Lily said. "Alice is right. The way he looks, it's as if his very essence has been tampered with. I don't think any of us doubt that he's probably gone deeper into dark magic than any other wizard in history, even Grindelwald, Slytherin, or Morgana. We can't say for sure that he hasn't found some way to at least make him harder to kill."

"Lily and Alice are right," Remus said. "The fact is we have no idea what types of dark magic he's capable. It could be stuff we've never even heard of. We just don't know."

"But if he can't die then what are we supposed to do?" Sirius asked.

Everyone was silent.

"We fight, just like we were always going to," James said determinedly.

"We can't win, not if he can't be killed," Frank said.

"I'm not sure the odds were ever really in our favor to begin with," Sirius said.

"At least we'll be true to who we are and what we believe in. And hopefully, someday someone will figure out a way to defeat him for good," Lily said.

* * *

Voldemort stood surveying the Muggle shoppers on the street below as they hurried on their way, buying presents for their family and friends for the holidays. They were all naively happy and carefree. They had no idea that with a single wave of his wand he could destroy them all. But that would have to wait. Right now it was more important that the Aurors get no indication of where he was, which meant that mass killings would hinder him, despite how much he enjoyed them.

"You wanted to see me, Master." Dolohov spoke from behind him, kneeling down.

"Ah, Dolohov, good. You may rise," Voldemort said, surveying his oldest follower. Dolohov had been one of the first people he had met at Hogwarts. He was the closest thing Voldemort had to a friend, even though Voldemort had no real affection for anyone. Dolohov had certainly known him the longest, was one of the few who knew him before he was Voldemort, and knew his real name, as well as the truth of his birth. It was in Dolohov's brownstone that Voldemort was currently residing.

"Hogwarts will be sending its students home for the break soon," Voldemort said.

"Yes, my Lord," Dolohov agreed. "Are you considering an attack on the train or at the…" he trailed off as Voldemort raised his hand.

"No," Voldemort said in his quietest and most deadly voice. "I have other concerns at the moment. Snape assures me that young Crouch is ready for a meeting with me. I want you to meet with him first. Bring him to me, but make sure he has no way of finding our meeting place again, just in case he changes his mind and decides to tell his pompous oaf of a father."

"Yes, master. I'll make sure the boy is quite disoriented when he arrives," Dolohov said with a leer that made his twisted face look even more distorted.

"Good. I also am in need of another service from you. I have plans for the four pesky teenagers who helped to thwart me in Hogsmede."

"Do you want me to kill them?" Dolohov asked slightly skeptical. If they had managed to be equal to the Dark Lord how was he supposed to kill them?

"No," Voldemort said, and now he was smiling. "I have other plans for them."

* * *

Lily fiddled with her hair nervously as she watched James brush his teeth before bed.

"So um this week is going to be pretty busy with exams and everything," Lily said as James flopped down beside her on the bed.

"Yeah, it always is," James said smiling over at her. "Of course you thrive in this type of environment, while the rest of us our floundering, trying to keep our heads above water."

"You've hardly ever floundered, Potter. You pass your classes without the slightest bit of effort," Lily said.

"So could you, you just put in effort and go above and beyond," James said.

Lily rolled her eyes but said nothing. She couldn't exactly argue his point when what he said was true.

"So what's the matter, Evans? I don't believe you're this fidgety about exams."

"I actually wanted to ask you something, but I know you probably don't want to, so it's not even a big deal. Don't even worry about," Lily said quickly before waving her wand to extinguish the light and turn over on her side to go to sleep.

"Hold up," James said, reigniting the lights, "Do you mind telling me what it is I don't want to do so I can decide for myself if it's something I want to worry about."

"This Friday is Slughorn's Christmas Party and I was wondering if you would mind going with me."

"Evans, you're my girlfriend. Not to mention that I've spent the past six years hoping you would ask me to do anything, even clean slugs out of cauldrons, with you. Why would you think I wouldn't go with you?"

"Last Valentine's Day you made it pretty clear how you felt about the Slug Club being all a bunch of Death Eater wannabes and you and Sirius wanting nothing to do with it." She said quietly. "And that's fine, I won't deny theirs a lot of Death Eaters in it, so if you won't want to go it's fine."

"Evans, I lied about why Sirius and I didn't join the Slug Club."

"Why would you lie about something as stupid as that?" Lily asked.

"Because I couldn't tell you the real reason. We didn't join because Remus wasn't asked."

Lily's face paled, beyond its usual alabaster complexion.

"Because he's a werewolf, and Slughorn only wants people who he thinks can advance him."

"Yeah, and apparently werewolves don't make the cut."

"I wish I could say that I didn't know Slughorn was like that. But the truth is I did. Obviously not Remus' specific case, but I knew how exclusionary he was. In the beginning I'm ashamed to say I liked it. I was insecure being new to this world and I liked feeling like I had won acceptance because of my abilities that I belonged to something."

"That's normal, Evans. I don't think there's anything wrong with being a member of the Slug Club."

"Frank, Alice, and I have cut back because of distaste with the rest of the company. But we usually do go to the holiday parties. But I don't want you to feel like you have to go, especially now that I know the real reason why you've avoided it before."

"Lily, relax," James said leaning over and kissing her gently on the lips. "I want to go with you to the party."

"Really?" Lily asked, skeptically.

"Really," James said kissing her again.


	60. Chapter 60

A/N: My deepest apologies for the long wait. I got a teaching job! But I was hired the day before school started so I've spent the last month attempting to get caught up. I have a lot on my plate right now so I can't guarantee about updates, but this story is still very important to me. I will try to update at least once a month if not more.

* * *

Lily sighed as she scrutinized her appearance in the long mirror of the Head Girl's dormitory. She wore a two-toned hi-low dress robe. The top was white lace that hung off her shoulders; the skirt was breezy light purple chiffon. She liked the dress, now she just had to figure out what to do with the rest of her appearance.

"Have I mentioned how much I love that dress," Alice asked as she waltzed into Lily's bedroom, as if it were her own.

"Well you did pick it out," Lily teased.

"And as we have established before," Alice said pointing to herself, "the dress fairy is a genius."

"Yes, I suppose she is," Lily agreed. "Any chance she has any recommendation on what I should do with my hair?"

"Of course," Alice said with a wink. She took her wand out and began to style Lily's hair to her vision. She left it down with two strands pulled back into a braid off her face.

"It's perfect," Lily breathed. "Thank you," she smiled. She went to her vanity in order to finish applying her makeup while Alice disappeared into her en suite bathroom to get into her own dress.

"Well, what do you think?" Alice said as she did a full spin to allow Lily to see all of her dress.

"Wow!" Lily said with a smile.

"I know right?" Alice said with a laugh.

"Frank is going to lose his shit," Lily said.

"I hope so," Alice smiled. Her dress was a form fitting red sequin dress that fell just below her thigh.

She stood over Lily's shoulder observing her own work as she used her wand to style her own short brown hair. She affixed it with a red headband, complete with a poinsettia flower.

"Really, Alice?" Lily asked with a skeptical smirk.

"What's the point of going to a Christmas party like this, especially considering who some of the company is going to be, if I can't have a little fun and get a little overly festive with my outfit?"

"I suppose," Lily said with a shake of her head.

"Besides it _is _a Christmas flower," Alice pushed.

"Yeah to be put in pots and admired, not worn on top of your head."

"Minor details," Alice dismissed with a wave of her hand.

There was a light tap on the door. "Are you two about ready? Frank and I are considering leaving without you." James' voice sounded through the door.

"Take a chill pill Potter or you'll find out what it means to be on the receiving end of _my _wand. And I won't go easy on you like my best friend." Alice responded.

"Hey! I have never gone easy on him!" Lily exclaimed.

"You can say that again," James sounded from the other side of the door.

"Shut it!" Lily said attempting to sound stern but laughing all the same.

"How can he even get up here to knock on the door?" Alice wondered aloud as she heard James retreating back down to the common room.

"Oh, well," Lily hesitated, causing Alice to turn and observe her best friend with intense speculation.

"Yes?" Alice prodded.

"He figured out a trick to let him get up here," Lily answered evasively.

"Oh did he, now," Alice questioned bemusedly, "just why would he need that skill?"

"I was having a bad dream and he thought I was being attacked," Lily answered embarrassed. Alice snorted in an attempt to control her own laugh.

"Well that explains why you two are sharing that room now, he just doesn't want to have as rough a commute when he was to wake you up in the middle of the night."

"Pretty much, yeah," Lily agreed with a laugh.

"So romantic," Alice laughed. "Honey," she attempted to sound like James, "let's sleep together so I can get a decent night sleep without you screaming your head off."

"You're such a bitch. Come on before they really do leave without us."

"Ah, last Sluggy Christmas party," Alice said as they made their way down the stairs where their dates awaited them.

* * *

"Damn," James sighed as the girls came in to view.

"What he said," Frank agreed with a smile.

Both boys looked dashing in their shirts and ties as they each took a moment to admire their girlfriends.

"You sure you want to go to this party?" James whispered in Lily's ear.

"Were you not just upstairs yelling at me to hurry up?" Lily replied with a soft laugh.

"Yeah, but that was before I saw you. Now I'm pretty sure I want to keep you all to myself," he said.

Lily swatted at him playfully. "You're incorrigible."

"You love me," he replied.

"Why is beyond my understanding."

"We better get going," Frank said, taking a step away from Alice. He was blushing furiously and she had an innocent look on her face that Lily knew never belonged there. She had clearly just said something to her boyfriend to cause that reaction, and Lily was fairly sure she didn't want to know what it was.

They met up with the third couple on their triple date in the corridor before they reached Slughorn's office. Aidan and Eavan were waiting for them with their hands intertwined. Lily and Alice both exclaimed when they saw Eavan and her dress. She wouldn't have looked out of place on any muggle fashion magazine. Her dress was solid white, with a lattice work neckline. It was short shift dress that appeared almost to look like an oversized white shirt. Her makeup was simple, with the exception of the white eye shadow the muggles seemed to love so much. Her shoes were white knee-high boots.

"Whoa! You look hot!" Alice said with an approving grin.

"Thanks," Eavan smiled with her shy shrug. "My best friend kind of forced me into it," she said with a rueful smile.

"I know the feeling," Lily said with an exaggerated nod toward Alice.

"Well you're both luck to have such fashion savvy best friends, aren't you?" Alice said with glare in Lily's direction.

The party was in full swing when Lily excused herself to go to the ladies' room for a moment. Usually Alice would have gone with her, after all best friends travel in a pack, but she seemed to be having a really good time with Frank and Lily didn't want to bother her.

She was on her way back to the party when she heard him behind her. He might think he was sneaky, but Lily had once been as attuned to his movements as she was her own.

"What do you want?" She spun around to face him, pulling out her wand as she did so.

"I want to talk to you," Severus replied. He was dressed, Lily was unsurprised to see, in his customary all black robes.

"Fine, then talk," Lily said.

"I used to think there was nothing you could do to make me abandon you, but I was wrong. Seeing you day after day hanging all over Potter, pretending like you love him, I can't handle it anymore. You've already garnered the attention of the Dark Lord. I'm the only one who can keep you safe. So I'm going to give you one more chance. Leave Potter, stop trying to hurt me, and I'll forgive you. You'll be safe, no matter what."

"I'm not pretending to love anyone," Lily replied.

'Damn it, Lily!" Snape roared. "I'm not playing games! Do you think it's easy for me to see you like this?"

"You? What about me? How do you think it feels for me to see you threatening me with your connection to Voldemort! Do you know how I used to defend you! How I used to swear to Alice that you were different from all the people you associated with. That I knew the real you! But I was wrong! This," she said motioning to him, "is the real you! And I should have seen that all along. It was right in front of me the whole time. The tree limb falling on Petunia, the way you hung on every word of that creep, Lucius Malfoy, and how you would call everyone _but _me a Mudblood. Well, my eyes open are now. And I see the real you. And it disgusts me. So you can take your protection and shove it! I love James Potter and I would rather be dead with him than alive with you."

"Everything okay out here, Evans?" She turned her head slightly to see James, Alice, Frank, Aidan, and Eavan standing behind her. All of them had their wands trained on Snape.

"Yeah, everything's fine, but I think I'm ready to go."

"Okay," James said coming up to place his arm around Lily's waist and put his own body between her own and Snape's. He hadn't heard all of their exchange, but he'd heard enough to know that they weren't parting on good terms and that Snape was angry enough that he might strike out at her.

Their friends followed them, keeping their wands out, trained on Snape as they moved away down the corridor.

Snape, anger coursing through him at Lily's final betrayal, called after her.

"You'll regret this! You'll be killed! All of you! You're idiots if you think you can defy him and get away with it! I'll see that you all pay for this! Especially you, you traitorous bitch! I'll kill you myself before I see you with the likes of him!"

James and Lily both turned their wands raised as one to attack Snape, but someone else beat them to it. Alice, never having lowered her wand, had sent a curse careening towards Snape, who managed to deflect it at the last minute. However, the force of the spell still sent him stumbling backwards. Alice advanced on him, panting in anger.

"Give me a reason, I dare you," she said as he reached for his own wand. "No one calls my best friend a bitch. Threaten her or any of my friends again and so help me, I will destroy you in one swish of my wand."

"Heavens," Professor Slughorn burst out into the hall. "What in the name of Merlin is going on out here? Put your wands away this instant!" He watched until they all did so. "I expect better from all you! Miss Evans, Mr. Potter you are the Head Girl and Head Boy, ACT LIKE IT! Snape, MacMillan, Madley, the three of you are all Prefects! You're lucky I'm not going to report this to Dumbledore! All five of you would likely lose your badges. And as for you two," he said turning his gaze to Alice and Frank, "I'm sure the Auror Academy wouldn't think highly of attacking other students in the corridors of school."

"They might if they knew who we were attacking," Alice muttered under her breath.

"All of you back inside, now. I'll have no more of this." Slughorn said.

"Thank you, Professor, but I think we'll be heading back," Eavan Madley spoke up.

"But the party is just getting started," Slughorn sputtered indignantly.

"Have a lovely Holiday, Professor," Eavan said sweetly before leveling Snape with another withering glare and turning to lead her friends back to the Head's Common Room.

"I like her," Alice said as they walked away.

"She's got real spunk," Lily agreed.

"Well done, MacMillan," James said with a smile as he clapped Aidan on the back.

* * *

The three couples created their own party in the Head's Common Room. James nicked some refreshments from the kitchens, and they found a station on the Wizarding Wireless that was playing Christmas music. The six of them danced some more, and then sat around in front of the fireplace talking and laughing, having a good time.

However, even in care free moments like these, the darkness that was ever present in their lives hung over everything.

Taking a long drag of pumpkin juice, Aidan took a deep breath and then turned the conversation to an old topic.

"After Harper came back, I never got the chance to tell you all what Eavan found out about Professor Kettleburn."

Frank, Alice, Lily and James looked up as one, sobering instantly.

"I feel like I should say something first," Eavan spoke up, twisting her hair nervously. "First you should know that Aidan hasn't told me much of what you guys are up to, and I understand. He said you all said you trusted me and I'm honored by that, but the simple fact is the less people who know something the better chance you have of keeping it a secret. The four of you saved all of our lives that day. As far as I'm concerned you guys are something special and anything I can do to help you, I'll do it gladly. I don't need to know what it is or what anything means, but anything I find out or observe, I promise you, you'll know it too."

"Thank you," Lily said, sincerely.

"You're welcome," Eavan said. "So should I go hide in Lily's room or something while you guys talk," she said beginning to get up.

"No," Frank spoke up, "if it's alright with you, I'd rather here the information directly from the source."

"My boyfriend the Auror," Alice said, ruffling Frank's hair affectionately.

"Sure," Eavan said. "So as you all know I was in the Hospital Wing following the attack. I wish I could say I got to sleep through most of the aftermath, but well having both of your legs from the hip down regrown isn't really something you can sleep through. Professor Kettleburn was already in the Hospital Wing when I got there."

"Was he sick like Flitwick?" Lily asked. She had taken out her notebook and was taking notes of everything Eavan told them.

"No, he was injured."

"Well that in itself isn't breaking news," Alice said. "I'd be more shocked if he wasn't hurt."

"That's what I thought at first," Eavan conceded, "but Professor Kettleburn was adamant that he was attacked."

"Attacked? Did he say by whom?" James asked eagerly.

"Not who, but what," Eavan answered. "He was set upon two crates full of fire crabs and flesh-eating slugs."

"Could the injuries have been a result of some oversight on his part?" Frank asked. The Professor's reputation preceded him.

"That's what Pomfrey and everyone else thinks, but I've never heard him so adamant about anything. He's never been one to deny his own fault in accidents before, but he swears that he locked both crates. He said he knew for a fact he'd done it because he checked both cages right before he went to bed."

"So he thinks someone sabotaged them?" Lily asked for clarification.

"He's sure of it. He told me that he heard someone in his room, but then he didn't see anything so he thought he must have dreamed it, and he went back to sleep. Within the hour he was awoken by attacking crabs and slugs. He's lucky the combination didn't kill him."

"Thank you, Eavan, for telling Aidan your suspicions about both Kettleburn and Flitwick, and for telling us in turn," James said sincerely.

"It's not a problem, like I said," Eavan replied. She rose. "I'll let you guys talk, just come and get me when you're done," Eavan said.

"What do you reckon?" Frank asked as soon as they heard Lily's door close.

"I was skeptical at first," Aidan answered. He had been quiet throughout Eavan's presentation. "But then I thought about it. Everyone knows Kettleburn! No one would think twice about him getting hurt."

"It would take someone who was good with dangerous creatures to get away with this without getting hurt too," Alice pointed out.

"Yeah, and we just found out that someone with those exact skills is working with the Death Eaters."

"McNair," they all said at once.

None of them could really add anything to that pronouncement, at least nothing they didn't already know, so deciding that Eavan had been forced into seclusion for long enough they ended the conversation there.

The three young couples, five seventeen year olds and one sixteen year old, danced that night, ignoring the danger that lay ahead of all of them. It seemed incredible that they weren't afraid. It was true that at that moment they had no idea the specific horrors their futures would hold, but they knew enough to know that they would face horrors. And yet they danced, and laughed, and loved.

Unaware that for two of the couples, four years was all the time they had left. And for the third, their lives would always be tinged by the fact they had survived.

* * *

Sirius and Peter made their way back up the train corridor from the snack trolley to their compartment they were sharing with Frank and Alice. Remus, Lily, and James were fulfilling their official duties of patrolling the train.

"Well, well, two Gryffindors a long way from their compartments. What should we do with these?" The idiotic cackle of Alecto Carrow sounded as she slid out of her own compartment blocking the path of Sirius and Peter who both immediately pulled out their wands.

"Well for starters you could move your atrocious self out of the way," Sirius offered as a suggestion.

"Yeah, no offense, but you're not really our type," Peter offered.

"You two think you're so funny," Alecto's brother Amycus said as he joined his sister. "But we're not laughing."

"That's not surprising our humor requires a certain intellect level that present company doesn't meet," Sirius said.

"You just wait," Alecto growled.

"Yeah, we'll see whose laughing in the end!" Amycus agreed.

"That's enough," a quiet but furious voice said. Sirius and Peter both turned in surprise to see Regulus Black glaring at the Carrows.

"We didn't realize you cared about your brother?" Amycus said in challenge.

"You two idiots have already jeopardized more tasks than I can mention. Do you really want to draw any more attention to yourselves by getting beat in a duel in the middle of the Hogwarts Express?"

"Who says we'd lose?" Alecto demanded.

"Anyone who knows you," Regulus countered. "Now get back in here, before I call Severus."

The Carrows retreated angrily back into their compartment muttering mutinous insults at Regulus. For the first time since the encounter began Regulus turned to look at his older brother, but his eyes only found empty space. Sirius and Peter had already continued on their original course as soon as the path had been cleared.

By the time Sirius and Peter reached their compartment, Remus had returned from his patrol.

"What took so long to go to the trolley? Did you get lost?" Alice said glancing up from her magazine.

"We had a little roadblock with the tweedle dee and tweedle dum twins," Peter explained as he sunk down on the seat, ripping open the packaging of one of this Chocolate Frogs.

"The Carrows?" Frank asked with a slight smile at the nickname.

Peter nodded in ascent.

"You know, I heard once they aren't actually twins," Alice said conversationally, still flipping through her magazine.

"They're in the same year," Peter puzzled.

"Apparently, they were born ten months apart," Alice said. "I overheard some other Slytherins talking about it one day. I'd honestly forgotten about it until just now."

Peter went on to explain Regulus' intervention to the group, but Sirius was apparently still thinking about what Alice had said, rather than puzzle over his younger brother's motivations.

"You mean to tell me," he began incredulously, "that after having one baby that ugly those parents rolled the dice on having another one?"

"I don't think they care what they looked like," Remus responded with a laugh, "as long as they were having good little pure blood babies."

"Well, I'm sorry," Sirius responded, "but anyone who has seen Humpty Dumpty One and Humpty Dumpty Two should know immediately that blood purity is absolute crap."

* * *

The Hogwarts Express made it to London and King's Cross Station without incident. Lily and James both breathed a sigh of relief to have made it through the journey without trouble. They had both been worried about the high probability of the Death Eaters aboard taking advantage of being away from school. But apparently they had decided to lie low, something James and Lily certainly weren't complaining about.

Lily, James, and Sirius had only made it a few feet off the train with their trunks when they were all immediately enveloped in a bone-breaking hug by a tearful Mrs. Potter.

"Mum," James said, his voice alarmed. "Is everything alright? Did something happen with dad? I thought we were meeting you at home."

"Everything's fine," Mrs. Potter breathed, finally releasing the three teens and wiping tears from her eyes. "I just couldn't wait to see the three of you. I've been so worried these past six or so weeks. Knowing the danger you faced, how close I came to losing each of you, it's more than a mother can bear." With that she gave each of the three teens another all-encompassing hug, and then they set off to the apparation point where they each disapperated to right outside the grounds of the Potter home in Godric's Hollow.

* * *

Barty Crouch Jr. arrived at the designated location. He had no idea who he was meeting; Snape had sent only a time and location to him before they departed Hogwarts. His insides were twisting with anxiety. He was not one to get nervous, but he was also usually fairly certain he was the most powerful person in the room. He could not be assured of that today. What if it was all a trap? Some plan to ransom him for control of his father? Well, if that was their plan they hadn't done their research very well. Anyone who knew his father knew his father wouldn't pay a ransom for his son, especially not if it would jeopardize his career.

He heard the pop of someone apparating nearby, but as he turned to meet whoever it was, he found his vision obscured by some sort of charm. A moment later he felt a sharp blow to the head, and then he was aware of nothing else for a long time.

When he finally came too he still could not see anything. But he could feel several things. First, he was aware he was sitting on a hard, cold floor. Along with this realization, came the alarming and embarrassing realization that he had been stripped of everything but his underwear. His arms were bound, but his mouth was left ungagged. This told him that whoever had him was not concern with him screaming. Apparently, wherever he was, no one would hear him. He was also aware of how cold he was, barely suppressing the need to shiver, and of the pain at the back of his head where his attacker had struck him.

"So you're awake," a voice sounded in the room.

"Where am I?" Crouch asked, attempting to sound brave.

"That is of no concern to you," the voice replied. "The only reason you would need to know was if you were planning on telling someone. So tell me, Barty Crouch, Jr., are you a spy?"

"What? No!" He responded earnestly.

"I see," the voice replied. It said no more for a long time. Crouch waited on tenterhooks, but all he heard was silence.

Dolohov smiled as he watched the boy twitch in his obvious discomfort. This was his domain. Bellatrix may have been an expert at torture, Snape a prolific legilimens, but Dolohov had a skill that was just as valuable to his master. Antonin Dolohov was a master interrogator. His father, a Russian wizard, had used both magic and muggle techniques in his career as the head of the Russian Ministry of Magic's Secret Police. And Dolohov had learned this craft at his father's knee. It had been this ability, manifest even in Dolohov as a young boy that had drawn young Tom Riddle to him at school. Riddle, after all, was gifted at reading people, and he had seen from the beginning the advantages of having Dolohov on his side.

Dolohov did not speak to the boy for another three hours. During this time he continued to lower the temperature in the room, causing the boy to shiver with more and more intensity. Finally he spoke again.

"Lying to me will not work. I always know. Before I can allow you to meet with Dark Lord, I must determine if you can be trusted. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Crouch replied. Dolohov smiled. The boy was putting on a good front, attempting to sound brave, but he had been pampered his whole life, and he was beginning to break.

"What is your name?"

"You know my name," Crouch responded. And then he began to scream, as for the first time in his life he had the Cruciatus Curse used on him.

"You will answer every question you are asked," Dolohov said after he had stopped casting the curse. "Now, what is your name?"

"Barty Crouch," the boy said.

"So I have the privilege of speaking to the Minister of Magical Law Enforcement?" Dolohov grinned wickedly. Snape had already informed him of Crouch's sensitivities.

"No," the boy growled. "That is my father."

"I see. Then please restate your name."

The boy hesitated for a long moment, before consenting, "Barty Crouch Jr."


End file.
